Or he's winning the title on Main Event.. or his contract expires.
"Curtis Axel, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.
I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Intercontinental Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, Curtis. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.
I hate this idea that you’re pretty good. Because you’re not. I’m pretty good. I’m the most passable in the world. There’s one thing slightly better at than I am and that’s kissing Vickie Guerrero’s a**.
You’re as good as kissing Vickie Guerrero’s a** as Shelton Benjamin was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Edge though. He’s a pretty good a** kisser. Always was and still is.
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! (Cody waves to the camera)
I am the most passable wrestler in the world.
I’ve been the most passable since day one when my dad walked me into this company. And I’ve been ignored and forgotten about since that day because John Laurinaitis saw something in me that nobody else cared to admit. That’s right, I’m a John Laurinaitis guy. You know who else was a John Laurinaitis guy? Tyler Reks. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Tyler is I’m going to leave with the Intercontinental Championship.
I’ve grabbed one or two of Brickie’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that maybe once or twice a week, for almost six years, I have proved to a handful in the world that I am pretty decent on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! A few people can touch me!
And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the The CW. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Jeff Probst. I’m not on Morning Joe. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.
This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Alberto Del Rio is in the main event at Raw next week and I’m not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my mustache isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my mustache and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a more successful father.
I’m leaving with the Intercontinental Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in Total Nonstop Action. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ohio Valley Wrestling.
Or he's winning the title on Main Event.. or his contract expires.
"Curtis Axel, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.
I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Intercontinental Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, Curtis. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.
I hate this idea that you’re pretty good. Because you’re not. I’m pretty good. I’m the most passable in the world. There’s one thing slightly better at than I am and that’s kissing Vickie Guerrero’s a**.
You’re as good as kissing Vickie Guerrero’s a** as Shelton Benjamin was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Edge though. He’s a pretty good a** kisser. Always was and still is.
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! (Cody waves to the camera)
I am the most passable wrestler in the world.
I’ve been the most passable since day one when my dad walked me into this company. And I’ve been ignored and forgotten about since that day because John Laurinaitis saw something in me that nobody else cared to admit. That’s right, I’m a John Laurinaitis guy. You know who else was a John Laurinaitis guy? Tyler Reks. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Tyler is I’m going to leave with the Intercontinental Championship.
I’ve grabbed one or two of Brickie’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that maybe once or twice a week, for almost six years, I have proved to a handful in the world that I am pretty decent on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! A few people can touch me!
And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the The CW. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Jeff Probst. I’m not on Morning Joe. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.
This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Alberto Del Rio is in the main event at Raw next week and I’m not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my mustache isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my mustache and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a more successful father.
I’m leaving with the Intercontinental Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in Total Nonstop Action. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ohio Valley Wrestling.
(Cody looks at the camera and waves)
Hey, Rob Terry, how you doing?"
This is seriously one of the funniest things I've ever read on these boards. Thank you, sir! Love the fact that you included "Brickie" in the speech.
Or he's winning the title on Main Event.. or his contract expires.
"Curtis Axel, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.
I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Intercontinental Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, Curtis. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.
I hate this idea that you’re pretty good. Because you’re not. I’m pretty good. I’m the most passable in the world. There’s one thing slightly better at than I am and that’s kissing Vickie Guerrero’s a**.
You’re as good as kissing Vickie Guerrero’s a** as Shelton Benjamin was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Edge though. He’s a pretty good a** kisser. Always was and still is.
Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall! (Cody waves to the camera)
I am the most passable wrestler in the world.
I’ve been the most passable since day one when my dad walked me into this company. And I’ve been ignored and forgotten about since that day because John Laurinaitis saw something in me that nobody else cared to admit. That’s right, I’m a John Laurinaitis guy. You know who else was a John Laurinaitis guy? Tyler Reks. And he split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Tyler is I’m going to leave with the Intercontinental Championship.
I’ve grabbed one or two of Brickie’s brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that maybe once or twice a week, for almost six years, I have proved to a handful in the world that I am pretty decent on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! A few people can touch me!
And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little collector cups. I’m not on the cover of the program. I’m barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I’m certainly not on any crappy show on the The CW. I’m not on the poster of WrestleMania. I’m not on the signature that’s produced at the start of the show. I’m not on Jeff Probst. I’m not on Morning Joe. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.
This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Alberto Del Rio is in the main event at Raw next week and I’m not makes me sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You’re the ones that buy those programs that my mustache isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my mustache and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a more successful father.
I’m leaving with the Intercontinental Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll go defend it in Total Nonstop Action. Maybe…I’ll go back to Ohio Valley Wrestling.
Post by trollrogue on Jun 21, 2013 14:57:55 GMT -5
^Cody begins a successful career as a color commentator/analyst on Smackdown!-- seriously he was the best part of the announce team on last Wednesday's Main Event. He showed up The Miz on more than a few occasions and dangit all has a deep-yet-tender radio voice if I may heterosexually say so.
Honestly, I wouldn't blame Cody is he was leaving. He's being used as a glorified jobber, and he's far more talented than that.
I want to see another Christian situation in TNA, where a really talented but underutilized WWE talent goes there and shows everyone just how great he is. Cody Rhodes could be that guy. Mr. Anderson tried to do that...he went the other way, and that's okay.
7/24/13 is the day that Cody Rhodes is no more. Enter "Kardashian" Kody Rhodes as he works a Kim Kardashian gimmick.
Or better yet, Kanye Rhodes.
(Daniel Bryan celebrates in the ring after defeating John Cena for the WWE Championship)
(Kanye Rhodes appears in the ring with a mic)
"Yo, Daniel Bryan, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but John Cena had one of the best WWE Title reigns of all time. One of the best WWE Title reigns of all time!"
Clearly it's the Smackdown taping where, after a RVD vs. Del Rio ladder match leaves the champ brutalized, Cody cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase to become the World Heavyweight Champion!
He's immediately concussed when a bloated Rob Van Dam falls off a ladder and lands on him, and has to do a rushed arc where he drops the title to Fandango.
Kane and Big Show are The Local Men. The Local Men are Kane and Big Show. No one else can join, no one else was a Local Man in some other era. As long as it's kept to those two, it's most absolutely beautiful idea ever.