Man devours 413 cheddar biscuits and goes into coma.

[Johnny B. Decent]

This is in my top five greatest news stories EVAH.

[MGH]

'MERICA

[lildude8218]

"We have an update from an earlier story about an Arkansas man who is currently in a coma after consuming 413 Cheddar Bay biscuits at a local Red Lobster restaurant. The original hypothesis of butter being the cause of the coma was found to be false and the exact cause of his condition is currently unknown. When a doctor at the local hospital was asked about these new findings, he replied, 'I can't believe it's not butter.'"

[Deleted]

Jun 24, 2013 23:53:31 GMT -5 lildude8218 said:

"We have an update from an earlier story about an Arkansas man who is currently in a coma after consuming 413 Cheddar Bay biscuits at a local Red Lobster restaurant. The original hypothesis of butter being the cause of the coma was found to be false and the exact cause of his condition is currently unknown. When a doctor at the local hospital was asked about these new findings, he replied, 'I can't believe it's not butter.'"

[Deleted]

Wouldn't the restaurant go broke? Those biscuits would cost money to make.

[BigBadZ]

Once all is clear, they feel he will make a complete recovery. Shalin will recover just in time for his visit to Golden Corral’s chocolate waterfall write-up the following week. Eat up!

Damn straight!!! WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!! This man is a hero

[montee916]

Jun 24, 2013 21:21:04 GMT -5 Wolf Hurricane said:

Per the Examiner:

Doctors believe all of the butter Shalin consumed has blocked the signals that come from the brain.

Sounds like something was doing that long before he started on the biscuits.

[The Peoples Elbow]

Jun 24, 2013 21:25:16 GMT -5 Toxik916 said:

I'm laughing so hard right now.

Me too! What a moron!

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

Jesus. How can one eat that many biscuits and not, ya know, vomit?

[Ash Kingston]

Paula Deen went on record saying, "Amateur."

[rapidfire187]

Why the f*** did they keep bringing him biscuits?

[bitteroldman]

How f'ed up is this country when we turn eating into a competitive sport?

[kidglov3s]

This joker better not turn around and give them anything less than an absolutely stellar review.

[Oh Cry Me a Screwball]

This topic is strangely making me hungry for Red Lobster cheese biscuits.

[Allie Kitsune]

Jun 25, 2013 4:53:35 GMT -5 rapidfire187 said:

Why the f*** did they keep bringing him biscuits?

If this actually happened, probably the trainwreck factor.

"Hey, if this moron wants to eat himself to death, let him."

Though you'd think in this lawsuit-happy society, someone on staff would have said "You know, this a-hole's going to sue the shit out of us when it's all said and done..."

[Deleted]

Jun 25, 2013 7:42:55 GMT -5 Allie Kitsune said:

Jun 25, 2013 4:53:35 GMT -5 rapidfire187 said:

Why the f*** did they keep bringing him biscuits?

If this actually happened, probably the trainwreck factor.

"Hey, if this moron wants to eat himself to death, let him."

Though you'd think in this lawsuit-happy society, someone on staff would have said "You know, this a-hole's going to sue the shit out of us when it's all said and done..."

Yeah but for the staff I think it came down to a "I cant believe this is freakin happening" factor and just out of human instinct wanted to see the train wreck unfold plus if it is (dont know cause I dont eat there) advertised as "all you can eat" then atleast they held up their end of the bargain

[Push R Truth]

Should have just done the responsible thing and stopped at 400

[They Killed the Giggler]

It's a fake story. link

[fuzzywarble, squat cobbler]

Nature's cruelest mistake

[WBL a.k.a. Mountie II]

The reason he had 413 Cheddar Bay Biscuits is because he's gonna leave one of them in John Cena's ass.

But the 100x100 burger at In-N-Out... that, my friends, is REAL.



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