The three remaining FAN Idol hopefuls joined their Host, KingOrangeTyger, in bidding a fond farewell to the inimitable Stinger4Christ, who decided to leave the FAN Compound in search of some new music. What do the Four Winds and the Seven Seas hold for the Man They Call Stinger4Christ?
Stinger4Christ (stepping out of the FAN Official Offices with the Host):.. there's a church in Sri Lanka where the monks are said to chant hymns that put them in contact with Space and Time itself. The notes resound inside of an enchanted dome built out of obsidian and diamonds; the sound, some say, is unlike anything found on this Earth.
(None of which I said was true, of course)
KingOrangeTyger: How about space? You know, sometimes when the tedium of the world weighs me down, I like to transform into my true form and- OH Hey! I see you contestants there hiding in the brush. True form, yeah! I meant, well, on my off hours, I play calypso piano at this little tiki bar... uh, here, and wow, they have some strong drinks. Heh, heh, Magic isn't real.
fw91: Dude, wait, what?
KingOrangeTyger: (Using a deep, solemn voice): Contestants! We are knocking on a door, a door that, once opened, leads us to the Finale. Come, let us become acquainted with the final two judges! What strange vistas do they inhabit, what bizarre insights into the mystical world will reveal themselves to you? Come, follow me and-
Stinger4Christ (Putting on an vintage Sting jacket from the early 90s, looking like a member of the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Band after a six month diet of nothing but Protein shakes and beef jerky): Look, Vintage Stinger4Christ!!! (Face painted red, white, and blue) It's time for me to hit the road to Sri Lanka, beat my chest, and listen to what all the little Stingers4Christ have to say about my music. Then, when I return (Stares at the other Contestants),
be ready for Season IX....
A vulture lands on Stinger4Christ's arm and he slowly walks away, into the mists of the Serengeti (does it have Mist? It does now), his heart set on his triumphant return.
KingOrangeTyger: Well, that was ominous. Contestants, follow me.
The Host led the Final Three on a tour of the two remaining Judges' Rooms. After stealthily avoiding King Ghidorah's basement apartment ("If you listen very carefully, you can actually hear the depressing threads get locked!"), the Contestants found themselves in an enormous room completely
invaded by the color Orange. Gigantic Patrick Negel style paintings of Gigantic Orange Women, smoking cigarettes with orange smoke coming out of their tips, hung from blindingly Orange walls as a handsome Orange tabby sank low upon a plush Orange Plume Blanche Diamond Encrusted Sofa, Orange diamonds of course, next to an Orange table carved out of Mexican Chakte Viga wood. Oranges of sundry species: petite Clementines, easy to peel Tangerines, heady navel oranges, blood oranges that dripped exotic gore...
Roxie Daggers (with a Roll of her eyes): Oh gee, let me guess, this is J's room, isn't it Tyger?
Widow's Peak: One has to admit that the young man may do well to add a bit of mauve into his life. My word.
fw91: Well, I like it. It fits him. Big Orange guy, Big Orange room. (picks a Blood Orange and starts peeling it, savoring its sweetness) So, I guess being a judge has its perks.
KingOrangeTyger: Sigh. That was a $9.00 orange, Mr. fw91.
fw91 (Grinning): And it was delicious.
Taking the Contestants further into Orange's lodgings, the Host showed off the various musical memorabilia Mr. Orange has collected over the years. A one-of-a-kind Orange Terrapin said to have been owned by Liberace himself, swam with an air of regal authority inside an Orange tinted fish tank that filled an entire wall of Orange's sleeping quarters. An Orange Bosendorfer piano, with a photo of Orange and Sir Elton John dressed as Donald Ducks set on top of it, took up a large portion of his living room while a mantlepiece above the piano held a papier mache mask made by Lady Gaga herself, of an Orange with strange, human-like features with the words "Juiced This Way" printed on the back of the mask which stood next to a "KISS Saves Wall Street" financial guide penned and autographed by the Demon himself, Gene Simmons. The highlight of this veritable Orange grove of souvenirs was this particularly Orange Cadillac once owned by Elvis Presley himself..
Leaving Orange's room, the Host led the Contestants down a long corridor that lead them to a spiraling staircase. With much grumbling, the Contestants followed their Host to a High rise apartment dominated by a skylight. Everything in the apartment had a Monogrammed "J" set upon it and the decoration payed homage to that letter. Candle holders curved into the shape, lighting up the room in an understated manner. Couches shaped like J's granted the Contestants comfort after the long climb. An intoxicating aroma filled the air as the Contestants noted that innumerable flowers peered out of vases: Jasmine, Japonica, Juniper, Jockey's Cup, Jacaranda, Jacobite Rose, Jacob's Ladder, and countless more. A small portrait gallery showed J posing with various musicians throughout the years: Jerry Lee Lewis, Jimi Hendrix, James Brown, John Coltrane, Jewel, Janis Ian, John Bon Jovi, Jill Scott, Ja Rule, Jello Biafara and many more.
As ANONYMOUS GM smelled a particularly delicate Jacobite Rose, a screeching could be heard emanating from the rooftop that, when listened to hard enough, sounded like birds trilling a Journey song. The Host smiled and said, "J has spent many an hour training thirty-five blue jays given to him by Koko B. Ware as a good will gesture after a particularly tragedy incident involving Frankie and the white mice J was training for his circus. He thought, why the hell not? and decided to train the Blue Jays to sing Journey's Don't Stop Believing."
After much soul searching, the Contestants came up with the following songs for Round 32: Judges' Choice Round. They were quite ready to give the Host their songs, hopeful to earn the right to skip to the Finale right now, but KingOrangeTyger seemed to be quite busy talking FAN Idol business on his Cell Phone:
KingOrangeTyger: ... Yes, yes, I understand. Look, will you listen? (looks at Contestants briefly and returns to the conversation) Yeah, yeah, I am a sell-out. What of it? Titan foots the bill and I can go on running this Season. No, no, the Judges don't let me... c'mon, don't be like that. Jeez, product placement? Of course, we have McMahon's talent guest hosting, we went to Raw, I even talked about your BBQ sauce. Oh, c'mon, how was I to remember to say "Boomer Sooner". What's that even mean? It doesn't even Rhyme!... no it doesn't, that's slant rhyme. Oh, c'mon, do I have to? They're recording this? ...... fine, I'll say it but, so help me, you can't make me mean it. Yeah, yeah, FAN Idol will endorse it. Yeah, I don't care what you say, I'm still a sell-out (looks for the Contestants, who ducked behind a statue of Jim Neidhart dressed as Who).
KingOrangeTyger: Fine, I'll say it, if that's what I need to in order to keep getting Vince Money. Ok... FRUITY FRUITY, BAW GOD FRUITY! FRUITY SKITTLES!!!! There, happy?
The Contestant would keep this spying secret from their sell-out Host, giving them these twelve songs for Round 32: Judges' Round II. The songs will be judged in one group, scored from 12-1 and the winner of this Round will move on to the Finale!!!!
School's Out- Alice Cooper (Kiss Saves FAN Idol)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qga5eONXU_4Leeds United- Amanda Palmer (Kiss Saves FAN Idol)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlJ9z_LowBIRebel Yell- Billy Idol (Kiss Saves FAN Idol)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdphvuyaV_ISafe and Sound- Capital Cities (Free Choice)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJAi0G3cD5YThe Killing Moon- Echo & The Bunnymen (Audi 2012 Super Bowl Commercial) (Sell-Out! FAN Idol: The Flamethrower)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXM77Jrh74ILaid- James (American Pie trailer) (Sell-Out! FAN Idol: The Flamethrower)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffLdZN3ub0MFade Into You- Mazzy Star (Free Choice)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxGrPHt44dsAll the Young Dudes- Mott the Hoople (Free Choice)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfwVfEXJhQQVideo Killed the Radio Star- The Presidents of the United States of America (Buggles Cover) (Cover with a Twist)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIqCIuhxaUwWolf Like Me- TV On The Radio (Nike "Force Fate" Commercial) (Sell-Out! FAN Idol: The Flamethrower)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1-xRk6llh4My Little Corner of the World- Yo La Tengo (Anita Bryant cover)(Cover with a Twist)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1whpx9f9XAForever Young- Youth Group
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQi8wEHMm5Y