Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Sept 1, 2013 19:14:03 GMT -5
WHO IS THE MAN?!
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:15:15 GMT -5
*We go backstage to Joe.*
ONE FLUKE WINS OVER ME, TOMMY MERCER?! ONE FLUKE WIN IS ALL YOU HAVE! Because of your trickery, I have to beat you five times to regain my rightful title. Five times I gotta beat your ass black and blue. *Hmp*, Y'know what, Crimson? That's fine by me. 'Cause here's the thing, in that ring, you know I'm better than you! You know it, Mercer. I'm the beast, the badass, The Samoan submission machine, I will beat you clean in that ring, and you will look up at me after I take my title back, and you will say "Thank you sir."
I'm the baddest man in this company, and in any walk of life. When people see me coming down the street, they f***ing run. Because they know I'd f***ing beat their ass until it's bloody and raw, and then I'd screw their pooch for the hell of it. You made a big mistake not being as smart as them, Crimson. A big, big mistake. A mistake so big even someone like Marilyn Monroe couldn't take it up their hole.
Maybe I'll be merciful tonight, and LET YOU win. LET YOU. 'Cause in Samoa Joe's nation of violence, no one does anything without my say so. I'm gonna take my army and launch a f***ing air raid up your asshole, and then You'll be thankful I didn't just nuke it. Tommy, when you beat me in that ring once, it was a fluke! When you fought me to a draw, I was still suffering the side affects of the aggressive campaign of radiotherapy I'm on for my giant balls. Tonight I'm 100% healthy, and I'm ready to kick your ass from dusk to dawn. And if you think you'll beat me again..
IT AIN'T f***IN HAPPENING!!!
We dissolve to backstage, where the TNA Legends Champion, Tommy ‘Crimson’ Mercer is standing by with Willie Urbina.
So, Joe, this is the start of what will be a long stretch of us knowing quite a bit about each other’s wrestling styles, and I am going to be completely honest with you Joe, it is not going to be pretty for you. I’m younger, I’m leaner, and I am also being a bit rude, Mr. Urbina, you have the floor, my apologies.
Yes, well. I’m Willie Urbina here, backstage with Tommy ‘Crimson’ Mercer, TNA Legends Champion. Now, Tommy,
Please, I am a man of greatness and respect, a Legend if there ever was one, Immortal as it were, Tommy ‘Crimson’ Mercer.
Very Well, Tommy ‘Crimson’ Mercer, you are faced with a series of at least three matches with Samoa Joe.
Let us be honest, Samoa Joe will not accept defeat, and I will not accept defeat, this will got to 5 matches, maybe even a sixth sudden death match, hopefully not a death match. But still, it is an injustice of the highest order that I be sent into another war with Samoa Joe, and this one having a time limit of at least three matches, to a total of five, it is offense that Eric Bischoff, would demand that we accept that level of uncertainty to be placed on the fragile prestige of this title that I must hold for upwards of three years before it would ever approach the level that it once held in the eyes of the public.
Yes, but I would like to know, and I think the fans would like to know, where you stand on the fate of the TNA Legends Championship being placed in what amounts to a Legends Series.
A Legends Series, I like that, and I am starting to like you Mr. Urbina, you are willing to speak your mind to a Legend, an Immortal like myself. I’ll see that you are rewarded. Now Joe, the dust has settled, and sadly, the War has only just begun. You may win a few battles, but the war, the War was decided long ago.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:15:57 GMT -5
Patience, young Waffel. Time will tell.
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TOO SWEET
Grimlock
Not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv.
Posts: 13,109
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Post by TOO SWEET on Sept 1, 2013 19:17:08 GMT -5
Patience, young Waffel. Time will tell. ITS *BLURTS OUT NAME*! But what is he doing in the Impact Zone? EDIT: No one tell Joe that he only has to win 3 matches, not 5.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:19:59 GMT -5
The following contest is the first in a Best of Five Series, and is set for one fall!Nation of ViolenceIntroducing first, from the Island of Samoa, Samoa Joe!Samoa Joe is bound and determined to win his belt back tonight. And if he has his way he'll take his first step tonight.Joe lost the belt in his first official defense against Mercer a month ago. But tonight he has another opportunity to right that wrong.Long TimeAnd his opponent, accompanied to the ring by "The Enforcer" Mark LoMonaco, from Cleveland, Ohio, he is the Legends Champion, Tommy "Crimson" Mercer!Mercer on the other hand is deadset on proving that his win against Joe wasn't a fluke. And so far he hasn't been able to beat him again with the championship on the line.Tonight Crimson needs to fire the first shot in this war. And he can do that by picking up a win against Joe here tonight.Best of Five, Match One Tommy "Crimson" Mercer vs. Samoa Joe 10 Minutes
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:21:20 GMT -5
Joe with a missile dropkick up Crimson's poor arsehole.
Gotta put the Hardcore in Hardcore Justice somewhere.
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Post by Yamashita Enforcement Division on Sept 1, 2013 19:21:55 GMT -5
Tommy 'Crimson' Mercer with a running knee to the head, followed by asking if the face commentator is really siding with him, then he hits Samoa Joe with a low blow.
Also, Samoa Joe vs. Tommy 'Crimson' Mercer, five straight draws.
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Sept 1, 2013 19:23:08 GMT -5
Crimson has some God-awful tattoos.
Mercer forces Joe into submission by drawing that weird tattoo from his Nation of Violence days on his face!
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TOO SWEET
Grimlock
Not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv.
Posts: 13,109
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Post by TOO SWEET on Sept 1, 2013 19:23:17 GMT -5
Mercer with the opening shot... which in this case, is a steel chair to the skull.
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lodirulz
Hank Scorpio
Live as the color red in a world of black and white.
Posts: 6,412
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Post by lodirulz on Sept 1, 2013 19:28:14 GMT -5
Mercer heads on over to the Danger Zone, and kicks Joe square in the testicles.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:30:57 GMT -5
Mercer and Joe lock-up in the middle of the ring, with Joe gaining a quick advantage before powering Mercer to the ground. Mercer gets back to his feet and immediately responds with a shove, knocking Joe off balance. The two lock up again before Joe lifts Mercer up and hits a suplex!
Joe follows up by bouncing off the ropes and delivering a headbutt! Joe goes into the cover:
1!
Mercer kicks out.
Only a one count. Mercer isn't staying down that easy!
Joe lifts Mercer up and begins laying in with some punches, but then Mercer blocks a punch and goes to town with some strikes of his own! A kick to the gut leaves Joe dazed, and Mercer finishes the sequence with a discus lariat! Mercer into the cover:
1!
And this time Joe kicks out.
Mercer, rather than lift Joe up, goes straight for the legs and attempts to apply an elevated cloverleaf! Joe, however, fights out before the hold can be fully locked in, forcing Mercer to back off. Joe charges forward and knocks down Mercer on impact. He pulls Mercer back to his feet slings him into the corner. Mercer crumples down and Joe delivers the face wash! Joe pulls him out and covers:
1! 2! Mercer kicks out again!
Joe slams the mat in frustration before flipping Mercer over for the Coquina Clutch. However, LoMonaco gets up onto the ring apron and distracts the ref, letting Mercer deliver a kick to the groin! Mercer rolls him up as the ref turns around!
1! 2!
Joe kicks out!
Wow! Joe kicking out of a shot downstairs! If that doesn't tell you how bad he wants to win, nothing will!
Mercer argues with Brian Hebner, who confirms it was a two. Mercer lifts Joe up and tosses him into the corner and charges, but Joe blocks it! ST-Joe! Joe hits the ropes and runs for a running senton!
Joe jumps, but Mercer rolls out of the way at the last moment! Joe crashes to the mat and Mercer goes to capitalize, hoisting him to his feet. He lifts him up, Red Sky! Mercer covers!
1! 2! 3!
Here is your winner, the Legends Champion, Tommy "Crimson" Mercer!
And Mercer wins the first bout here tonight! That's gotta send a strong message to Joe there. Mercer won that belt fair and square and he ain't letting go till he's good and ready!
Mercer gets up and has LoMonaco hand him his belt, posing over Joe as though he had hunted him down as we fade.
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Jonathan Michaels
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
The Archduke of Levity
Here since TNA was still kinda okay
Posts: 18,108
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Post by Jonathan Michaels on Sept 1, 2013 19:33:29 GMT -5
You would think such a clean sweep would lead to a tap-out. Yeah, sure, rub it in.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:34:16 GMT -5
Rosita is on the phone again.
Of course babe. If you think that is best.
She listens to a response.
Yup, exactly. No need to worry about that. Already took care of all that paperwork and crap.
She listens again.
Of course, you know I wouldn't miss that chance for anything in the world.
Rosita smiles as she pays attention to the other person.
Aww, you're so sweet. I'd love too. And I honestly think that you're selling them short. They're smart people, they know what you've been actually going through.
Rosita nods as someone speaks.
You too babe. Can't wait. Kisses.
Rosita kisses the phone and hangs up. She sees the cameraman.
What the hell do you want? Why are you being such a creeper and listening to my phone calls?
I'm just curious who you're on the phone with.
Take a million guesses, genius. My boyfriend. Not that its any of your business. Just start recording this so I can talk about my match.
I've been recording this whole time.
Dammit Polla. Estúpido, pissant valor.
Rosita calms herself.
Not even this can put me in a bad mood. Tonight is going to be a good night for me and it starts with winning this six knockout battle for a shot at the Women's Championship.
Looking at this division, I see a whole buncha chickas not doing a damn thing and I put the blame for that on the top. Our former Knockout Champion Hamada can't be bothered to even ever say a word or two and when our champion was barely speaking, what's the point of the rest of us talking? She's supposed to be the example. The best. Not el ancla, holding us all back.
If I had the title again, I'd be on the show every week reminding everyone why I'm so important. Why this sexy senorita has all the gold. And I'd make Impact a lot more caliente...
Rosita does a tiny dance.
But before I get there, I got to deal with five other gals that want a shot at the title. Some are amigas, some aren't, but tonight I'm not really worried about friends. I'm worried about re-staking my claim as the top knockout. As the gal who retired both Traci and Lacey. The girl that'll melt your heart with a bat of my eye and break your spine with my corkscrew moonsault. It's time to bring back the Knockouts division from purgatory and show el mundo that we're some great wrestlers, some chicas bonitas, y worthy of being featured more often on Impact. I'm ready, willing, and able to lead that charge. But first I need to win tonight. So for the rest of you knockouts, bring your best shot. Because Rosita is back, and back to her true form. And that means that things are going to start changing here.
But hey, I don't think many of you would mind watching me change. *Rosita winks towards the camera and exits the shot*
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Sept 1, 2013 19:36:34 GMT -5
Lesson learned, keep my damn mouth shut.
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:36:55 GMT -5
The following six woman match is set for one fall, with a ten minute time limit!Angel On My ShoulderIntroducing first, they are the TNA Women's Tag Team Champions, Angelina Love and Velvet Sky, The Beautiful People!Well, this is every woman for herself, but Angelina and Velvet entering as a team.No fair! That gives them an unfair advantage over the other four women!How We DoNext, hailing from Manchester, England, The Twins, Holly and Hannah!Really?! As if being twins wasn't enough of an unfair advantage, they're entering together too?!How is being twins their fault? I didn't think they had a say in that...Super VillainNext, from Queens, New York, Rosita!Well, Rosita and Lady Sara have formed a partnership over the last several weeks, but tonight is every woman for herself in this number one contenders match...I Never Thought My Life Could Be This GoodAnd from Tampa, Florida, Lady Sara Rita!See, Rosita and Lady Sara understand that this is a free for all and followed the rules, by entering separately and not being twins!Well, we'll soon see if entering separately gives them the advantage or leaves them vulnerable...Number One Contenders match Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky vs. Holly vs. Hannah vs. Rosita vs. Lady Sara Rita 10 minutes
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 1, 2013 19:38:21 GMT -5
Rosita with an "Utter Bias" Bomb to one of the creepy twins.
I would've done a Sara Rita promo, but I ran out of time unfortunately. Ah well.
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TOO SWEET
Grimlock
Not a doctor, nor do I play one on tv.
Posts: 13,109
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Post by TOO SWEET on Sept 1, 2013 19:38:27 GMT -5
Rosita with a super-promoplex. It's like a promo-plex, but it also is a self vote. EDIT: And I'm practically dying over the "followed the rules by not being twins" commentary.
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Sept 1, 2013 19:38:51 GMT -5
Rosita is the only one who promo'd. Rather disappointing if you ask me, I prefer matches to be competitive.
Rosita wins simply by existing. She rips Velvet's head off.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,390
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Sept 1, 2013 19:40:22 GMT -5
The Pretty Twin with a kick to the chest of Velvet!
As she celebrates, she get laid out by Rosita!
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Sept 1, 2013 19:41:23 GMT -5
nope
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