The FAN Compound, Western Branch. Austin, Texas.
A beat-up Honda Accord pulls into an enormous car garage adjacent to a stately mansion. Grumbling to himself and wondering why there aren't any FAN attendants to help him with his luggage, Senor Tyger (or whatever name I'm going by this week) stumbles his way to his rather humble living quarters. Ignoring the incessant laughter from Demented's suite (as well as the cherry red fumes escaping from a slightly cracked door), the Host laid down in bed for a few moments before he remembered that it was time to reveal Round 21's results.
It had been a trying last couple of days for Senor Tyger. He had to attend to various legal and financial complications that naturally arise in a game such as this. Entrusting his hosting duties to one Waffel, Senor Tyger finally had time to address a series of pressing concerns. Rumors of song tampering from last Season. Bad Press caused by the Damien Sandow/Scott Steiner fiasco. Claims that fw91's island resort in American Samoa was not on the up and up. Mr. Martel's photo shoot from earlier in the Season was the straw that broke the legal camel's back, as there were stories about certain judges posing with certain roses held in their certain teeth and nothing else but their judging boards. Oh yes, much like last Season, Senor Tyger was on the verge of being shipped back to the FAN Zoo and placed behind bars, a fate that he once shared years ago with... but that's not relevant to the round.
Tyger got out of his bed, left his suite, and looked around for the contestants and the judges, finding nary a soul. Relieved, he was about to return to his quarters when he heard Mr. B. Natural speak with conviction in his voice from one of the FAN drawing rooms. Tyger sneaked over to the door, making as little noise as possible, and peered inside to find Judge Waffle and the remaining 12 contestants seated together around a table, cups of tea and coffee in their hands, pastries piled upon the table.
Mega B. Natural, sipping orange hibiscus tea and sitting on a gray settee: Fellows and Miss Daggers, I believe that music is a clear manifestation of Man's inner greatness. Within those near mathematical pronouncements, one may chart the soul. Indeed, Man's divinity finds expression through musical notes. Comprehension of this fact lays bare Man's desire for self-awakening. To touch the violin string is to connect with our potential.
Orange, sipping orange hibiscus tea (a personal blend that he has proud to say employed a rare orange honey from his own diligent bees): Such a comment! My head is quite swimming with this talk! I would sally forth my own observations of Music's apotropaic nature to Mr. Tyger but that brute could never accept the results of my careful planning.
radradsley: Why not? (Nibbling on a rosemary and cheddar scone) Surely he could tell that one such as yourself could avert tragedy through the nectar-laced tongues of the Muse of music!
I mean, my word! What a dullard!
(Senor Tyger narrowed his eyes and continued his eavesdropping, mentally noting the insults levied against him)
Majin Brad: Mr. Tyger is a gentleman of refinement and good breeding and- OH, I JUST CANNOT COMPLETE THIS CANARD! What a beast! He conscripted me to function as a judge last Season and then had the audacity to question my categories. You will all be delighted to know that I sent him such a withering missive that I dare say he decided never to host again! This Season fell into his paws but, no no, his days of hosting anything above a flea-market jamboree are long since past. Now, my friends, what say you about Heidigger's observation that music...
And this continued for a rather long period of time. The contestants laughed in good cheer and recited poetry of a most delightful sort. Words cannot express what their words expressed when tea was in their bellies and songs in their hearts.
To Waffle!!! They toasted. May he provide a sweetness to this Season that you-know-who could only dare to dream of. Mr. Waffle remained silent, though he admittedly beamed as he listened to the praise.
Mr. Tyger took their ribbing in stride but decide not to reveal himself to their party. After a while, he gathered the contestants to an antechamber replete with statues and revealed the results for
Round 21: Really Deep Thoughts.
Senor Tyger: Contestants, Round 21 asked you to consider music in a fashion that has hitherto not been touched upon in the annals of our competition. To think of music as a medium to present thoughts and emotions in a rarefied manner is not a concept to take lightly. Indeed, this Round could have vexed even the most seasoned of FAN Idols but you have all passed this test with flying colors. Some contestants' colors flew higher than others, however, and the winner of Round 21 will be able to choose one of their partners for
Round 22: 3 FAN Band, a decided advantage for what lies ahead. But let's address this Round first.
In tenth place, with a total of 12 points, is a contestant that deserves to be heard now and for many Rounds to come...
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Mega B. Natural: Also A Robot!!! who let his voice be heard with Kemi, Finland's own Sonata Arctica and their I Have a Right!!!
Earning 18 points... a piece! are two contestants who have pronounced some profound musical truths throughout this Season. 9th place finds...
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Orange!!! who teared us up with Martina McBride's heart-breaking Concrete Angel!!!
and
Roxie Daggers!!! who never follows the pack with Incubus's defiant (and sea-green) Are You In?!!!
Taking home 8th place and free styling his way to 30 points is a contestant who gazed into the pit, only to see it gaze back...
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Knailsic Loves to Boogie!!! who wrote You Make Me_ across his chest as he channeled Punk Savage Richard Hell & the Voidoids' Blank Generation!!!
Climbing to 7th place, raking in 31 points, one point shy of 6th, is a contestant who evoked a melancholy tinged picture across the seasons...
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J!!! who is a man for all seasons, making us think long and hard with pianist and singer-songwriter Vienna Tang's Antebellum!!!
Flying high, steady and true, are a pair of contestants in 6th place!!! With 32 points a piece, let yourself be transported by the words of...
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Boris the Soviet Love Hammer!!! who celebrates youthful days even while confronting hard realities with indy folk rockers Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes' When You're Young!!!
and
radradsley!!! who chose ol' Ukelele Ike himself, novelty tunes player Cliff Edwards and his stellar take on When You Wish Upon a Star!!!
Netting 39 points, just one point shy of 4th place, is a contestant who may not be able to hold the breeze but he can certainly get his hands on 5th place...
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Gus "The Predator" Richlen!!! who may not catch up with the wind (or with the girl of his dreams) but he can certainly keep up with the rest of the pack!!!
Enjoying 40 points and 4th place is a contestant that no one should take lightly. You don't tug on capes or spit into the wind when he is around...
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Majin Brad!!! who walks the mean streets with his head held high, looking fierce with Jim Croce's You Don't Mess Around with Jim!!!
Breaking into the top three with 45 big time points is a contestant that didn't miss out on much this Round. This guy can definitely build a shelf...
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Pegasus Warrior!!! who showed that he still has a lot of skills left to reveal, selecting Modest Mouse's Missed the Boat!!!
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Hayden.
Square.
Please step forward.
You two are the highest scoring contestants for
Round 21: Really Deep Thoughts. This was a tough round and it asked you to be especially resourceful. What constitutes great lyrics? How important are the lyrics to the rest of the music? Contestants had to employ songs that possessed dazzling wit and revealed sober truths but, ultimately, the music was what was truly important.
The winner of this Round has the option of selecting any other player to join his team for Round 22: 3 FAN Band if he so chooses. With 47 points, just one point ahead of second place is...
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Square!!! who may be reading balzac why he takes his prozak but he's also reading his Robert Bly as he scores high, taking this Round with Blur's Country House!!! Congratulations!
Just one point out of first place is Hayden!!! who found success with the Red Hot Chili Pepper's redemptive anthem Under the Bridge!!! Great Job!
Judges' Rankings:
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1. Square
Country House- Blur
C-7, FW-11, JZ-10, M-9, W-10= 47
2. Hayden
Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
C-12, FW-12, JZ-8, M-6, W-8= 46
3. Pegasus Warrior
Missed the Boat- Modest Mouse
C-4, FW-10, JZ-12, M-8, W-11= 45
4. Majin Brad
You Don’t Mess Around With Jim- Jim Croce
C-11, FW-4, JZ-6, M-7, W-12= 40
5. Gus “The Predator” Richlen
Catch The Wind- Donovan
C-6, FW-8, JZ-7, M-12, W-6= 39
T-6. Boris the Soviet Love Hammer
When You’re Young- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes
C-2, FW-9, JZ-9, M-5, W-7= 32
T-6. radradsley
When You Wish Upon A Star- Cliff Edwards
C-10, FW-3, JZ-4, M-11, W-4= 32
7. J
Antebellum- Vienna Teng
C-8, FW-1, JZ-11, M-2, W-9= 31
8. Knailisic Loves to Boogie
Blank Generation- Richard Hell & the Voidoids
C-9, FW-5, JZ-3, M-10, W-3= 30
T-9. Orange
Concrete Angel- Martina McBride
C-3, FW-6, JZ-5, M-3, W-1= 18
T-9. Roxie Daggers
Are You In?- Incubus
C-1, FW-7, JZ-1, M-4, W-5= 18
10. Mr. B Natural: Law/Disorder
I Have A Right- Sonata Arctica
C-5, FW-2, JZ-2, M-1, W-2= 12