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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 29, 2013 20:55:44 GMT -5
We've had a bunch of these in the WWE forum over the years. However, it's been a while since we've done one that went on for a lot of posts and I don't think we've ever done one for TNA. So how 'bout we take a stab at it? I'll start.
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*Dixie Carter just low balled AJ Styles during contract negotiations backstage*
AJ Styles: Calm down, AJeddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They made their best offerdaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be a company guyidididildilidilly ah HELL diddily ding dong crap! Can't you morons do anything RIGHT!?
[The TNA locker room gasps]
Sarge: AJ! My wife meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
AJ Styles: Well my family and I can't live in good intentions, Sarge! Oh, your company's out of control and is about to go out of business, but we can't blame you, because you have gooooooooood intentions!
Robbie E: Hey! Back off, bro!
AJ Styles: Ooh okay, duuuuude! I wouldn't want to scare off your grenades, maaaan! Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for when TNA releases you: "Hey, Buddy, got a quarter?"
[Everyone gasps]
Robbie E: I am shocked and appalled.
Jeremy Borash: AJ, with all due respect, Robbie E didn't do anything.
AJ Styles: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Jeremy Borash! TNA's answer to a question NO ONE ASKED!
[Joseph Park laughs]
AJ Styles: What do we have here? The flabby monster heel of the show! The last person you scared was the guy at the snack stand selling mallowmars!!
Eric Young: [writing it down] Mallowmars, oh that's going in the act!
AJ Styles: Oh, yeah. The clown, the only one of you buffoons who doesn'tmake me laugh! [to Ethan Carter] And as for you, I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Ethan Carter: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
AJ Styles: [to Taz] You ugly, hate-filled midget!
Taz: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and a hate-filled midget, but I... um, what was the third thing you said?
[everyone backs away as AJ marches after Dixie lastly]
AJ Styles: Dixie, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Dixie Carter: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
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Post by 2 Cold Scorkum on Dec 29, 2013 21:06:21 GMT -5
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 29, 2013 21:22:21 GMT -5
*TNA a few years ago*
Dixie Carter: This is Vince Russo writing with no supervision. Soon he'll have written the greatest wrestling program known to man. Let's see. It was the best of times, it was the "blurst" of times! You stupid monkey!
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 30, 2013 0:35:05 GMT -5
How news of TNA's sale really came out:
[Janice Carter is fanning herself and talking on the phone during a vacation in the Cayman Islands]
Janice Carter: [laughs] I'm sorry, Mr. Meltzer but I cannot divulge information about that unprofitable company for sale that's hemorrhaging money.
[hangs up] Janice Carter: Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was unprofitable.
[pauses]
Janice Carter: Oh, crap. I shouldn't have said it was for sale.
[pauses]
Janice Carter: Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was hemorrhaging money!
[pauses]
Janice Carter:[sighs] It's too hot today.
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Post by Apricots And A Pear Tree on Dec 30, 2013 0:37:24 GMT -5
The TNA Sections cartoon of choice is Ducktales.
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Post by lildude8218 on Dec 30, 2013 0:42:58 GMT -5
Dixie: Magnus, it says "I Choo Choo Choose You" and there's a picture of a train on it.
Dixie: What's Final Battle?
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 30, 2013 0:52:28 GMT -5
Bryan Alvarez: Hordes of TNA's wrestlers are being released for some unknown reason. Dave, without knowing precisely what TNA's financial situation is, would you say it's time for it's financiers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Dave Meltzer: Mmm, yes I would, Bryan.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2013 2:10:52 GMT -5
Hulk Hogan: I have the greatest idea ever...nah its more a ROH idea.
Dixie: We are twice as smart as the people of ROH! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it!
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 30, 2013 11:20:21 GMT -5
Carter! Dixie Carter! She's the greatest businesswoman in history!
From the town of Nashville, she's about to hit a chestnut tree!
*smashes car into tree*
D'OH!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2013 13:45:48 GMT -5
[Dixie is showing EC3 around the Impact Zone]
EC3: Eww. This place has got old man stink. Hulk Hogan: Ooh. Eric Bischoff: Don't listen to him, sir. You've got an enchanting musk.
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 30, 2013 13:59:53 GMT -5
AJ Styles takes his son to a steel mill, is terrified to learn it's a GAY COMMUNITY STEEL MILL.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 30, 2013 18:28:20 GMT -5
AJ Styles takes his son to a steel mill, is terrified to learn it's a GAY COMMUNITY STEEL MILL. LOL, AJ is perfect as Homer in that episode. AJ Styles: There's only two kinds of guys who wear Hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Samoa Joe doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me! Okay maybe mine didn't work so well...
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2013 22:24:58 GMT -5
Hogan: Bishoff? Is it wrong to cheat in order to win a million dollars from Dixie?
Bishoff: Yes sir.
Hogan: Let me rephrase. Is it wrong if I cheat in order to win a million dollars from Dixie?
Bishoff: No sir. Who would you like buryed?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2013 22:45:45 GMT -5
*Dixie prepares to debut Hogan on iMPACT for the first time, backstage*
Pope DiNero: "If anyone here knows why this duo should not be wed in production, let him speak now or forever hold his peace!"
*camera pans over to a silent roster, zooms in on Jeff Jarrett*
Jarrett (inside his mind): Dah, dah, dah-dah-dah, hey! Dah-dah, dah-dah! Dah, dah, dah-dah-dah, hey! Dah-dah, dah-dah!
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shaker
Team Rocket
The numbers don't lie - and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice!
Posts: 779
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Post by shaker on Dec 31, 2013 10:56:16 GMT -5
Dixie Carter: Me fail at business? That's unpossible!!
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Dec 31, 2013 18:17:25 GMT -5
Dixie: Thank you, Jeff Hardy, thank you, Kurt Angle, for all your help!
Hulk Hogan: What about me? You didn't thank me.
Kurt Angle: You didn't do anything.
Hulk Hogan: I like being thanked.
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Post by Oh Cry Me a Screwball on Jan 1, 2014 0:44:30 GMT -5
I did this one way back when Bubba the Love Sponge was fired.
Dixie: Hey Ken Anderson! Hey Brian Kendrick! Come on in. There's plenty of room. Sorry, not you, Bubba.
BTLS: Why not?
Dixie: See the sign that says "No Bubbas"?
BTLS: But you let in Bubba Ray!
Brother Ray: Hyuck hyuck!
Dixie : It says no Bubbas. We're allowed to have one.
BTLS: Oh.
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Jan 1, 2014 2:05:42 GMT -5
All of the wrestlers are sitting around a large field with a flag that says "Camp Carter" flying nearby. A stage is set up and a man in a suit wheels a TV out. A video of Eric starts playing
Dixie: [on TV] Hi Kids! Welcome to Camp Carter! Hoo huh hoo heh ha heh! I'll see you in a few weeks! Until then, I turn things over to my bestest buddy in the whole wide world, [obviously dubbed] <Mr. Bischoff>. I want you to treat <Mr. Bischoff> with the same respect you would give me. Now here's <Mr. Bischoff>.
Mr. Bischoff: Thank you, Dixie, and welcome, children. I am Mr. Bischoff, your head counselor. For almost 10 years I was president of WCW. Until it blew up. I'll take any questions you might have. You. And then, uh, one more.
Eric Young: Can we call you Uncle Bischy?
Mr. Bischoff: No. Last question.
AJ Styles: When do we get to see Dixie?
Mr. Bischoff: Ahh, he will be along eventually. In the meantime, our counselors, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean Waltman will be happy to handle any problems you may have.
Mr. Bischoff leaves and all the roster sit in silence, staring at the three bullies.
Sharkboy coughs
Hall: Looks like we got ourselves a troublemaker.
Nash grabs Sharkboy by the shirt and carries him off.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on Jan 1, 2014 3:38:36 GMT -5
[Kurt Angle is announced as the next inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame over Jeff Jarrett] Jeff Jarrett: This award is the biggest farce I've ever seen.
Jerry Jarrett: What about the Slammys?
Jeff Jarrett: I stand corrected.
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Post by jason1980s on Jan 1, 2014 8:45:04 GMT -5
Troy McClure: What TNA stars remaining as of 2014 are famous outside the world of wrestling? We'll find out after this brief commercial break.
Hi and welcome back. Before the break we were discussing the TNA talent who left during the year 2013. We asked "What TNA stars remaining as of 2014 are famous outside the world of wrestling?" If you named even one current TNA talent, you'd be wrong. They've never been famous outside the world of wrestling. And certainly Bleeding Gums Murphy or Doctor Marvin Monroe would have to be more popular.
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