My father sat me down once...

[Sephiroth]

And he said "Son, I think its time for us to have a talk about sex."
So I said "Okay, what do you want to know?"

[Deleted]

My mum once said "Penis" ....20 years later, its still awkward.

[Mac]

Dec 30, 2013 23:22:33 GMT -5 @torgaddon said:

My mum once said "Penis" ....20 years later, its still awkward.

I have you beaten to a pulp on this one.

I was 12, my parents came home, thought I was asleep and started doing the deed. All I remember hearing is my mother saying "IM< trying to make love and all you wanna do is F***"

shudders.......

[DSR]

My father once walked into my room and said "Son, if you keep masturbating, you'll go blind!" I said "Dad, I'm over here!"

[Cranjis McBasketball]

I'm gonna spoiler this for filthy, filthy language bound to offend at least one person and it's probably sexist too.

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{Spoiler}I was on the porch with my dad. I must have been like 6 years old. He says, "Son, do you have any questions about sex?" I said, "Yeah, what's that hairy spot on the front of mommy?" He says, "That's a vulva" I say, "Oh, ok. So, what's a c***?" He says, "That's the rest of mommy"

[Capt Lunatic]

I once asked my father what a vagina looks like. He said "Well before sex it looks like a beautiful soft flower." I asked what about after sex. He said

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}"Have you ever seen a bulldog after it's eaten a jar of mayo?"

[CATCH_US IS the Conversation]

My father never told me about sex.

When I was a young boy, all he did was take me into the city to see a marching band.

[G✇JI☈A]

Dad never talked to me about sex.

He let that VHS copy do Debbie Does Dallas he left poorly hidden on the top shelf of the pantry give me the facts of life.

Yep, turns out I didn't need that football uniform.

[ThereIsNoAbsurdistOnlyZuul]

Dec 31, 2013 6:04:38 GMT -5 G✇JI☈A said:

Dad never talked to me about sex.

He let that VHS copy do Debbie Does Dallas he left poorly hidden on the top shelf of the pantry give me the facts of life.

Yep, turns out I didn't need that football uniform.

Well neither did Debbie... yeah that title was misleading. He never talked to me about sex. But he threw a box of condoms to my brother and said "Here's some condom's, use them."

[Turd Ferguson]

My mother said to me one day, "My little tater tot: We're going to the circus whether you like it or not."