House Show Report - Desert Bluffs WV
Feb 7, 2014 10:12:08 GMT -5
CuJ0 Will Keep Dancing, Phosphor Glow, and 10 more like this
Post by shaker on Feb 7, 2014 10:12:08 GMT -5
My last house show report seemed pretty popular, so I decided to type up my experiences from last night's show. It was pretty entertaining overall, and I always love getting glimpses of upcoming feuds/storylines.
The Desert Bluffs Sportatorium was pretty much completely filled; they don't get a lot of shows out here since that Lenny and the Starjammers concert ended so badly but in '08. But the smell from that's finally started fading so I guess the WWE decided to give them a shot!
Emma and Santino were out first, both dancing to Emma's theme. They danced into the ring, their faces stoic and tears dripping down their cheeks the entire time. They entered the ring to a pretty big pop, then Santino pulled out a sheet of paper. He spoke without his TV accent (not sure if a character tweak or if he just forgot to do it) and read out a list of local celebrities that were in the audience last night. People like John Peters, you know, the farmer. Not to mention local businessman F. Arthur Pendragon. According to Santino, "We all have Mr. Pendragon to thank for this. Yes.... he's the one who made all this happen. God have mercy on us." Pretty cool to hear local people mentioned by a famous pro wrestler!
We went straight into the first match then; The Real Americans vs The Usos. Now, as you may or may not know, chanting of any sort is forbidden in Desert Bluffs. So "We The People" was unfortunately not a huge hit, nor was "US-O". So the guys seemed a little off their game. Swagger's left arm having been replaced with some sort of stainless steel gardening implement may have hurt, too. Not the greatest match, but it was pretty good. The Usos won in 12:37 via double superkicks to Cesaro, then a big splash to Swagger. Afterwards Zeb began to vomit up small black insects, which flew into the crowd and devoured a few younger members of the WWE universe. Lucky!!
After they locked Zeb away in his crate and the Real Americans wheeled him off, we had Vince McMahon of all people show up on a TV that had appeared in the middle of the ring. He was apparently live via satellite from an undisclosed location. It was a little hard to hear him over the constant hum of those insects being rounded up by local Desert Bluffs insect keepers, but he mentioned the WWE Network and something called the "Cursed Book Network". Maybe some kind of sister network for WWE? Sorry I couldn't hear more of this, it sounded interesting.
Next match was probably my favorite of the night; a shapeless blob that entered to CM Punk's old music ("This Fire Burns") vs a randomly selected member of the audience. One lucky guy was dragged kicking and screaming into the ring for this match, which ended in 0:18 after the blob completely enveloped the man, and the ref counted this as a pin. I see big things in the shapeless blob's future; he has that "IT" factor!
Diva's match up next, which was nice, since last time all I got to see was Alicia Fox taking some kids backstagel. By the way, if you are at a WWE show and see any random children walking around, please report it to the Nightvale police department. We're still looking for those kids from our show.
AJ Lee took on Natalya in a really excellent match. AJ debuted some new ring gear; a biohazard suit with the words "THIS IS NOT A GIMMICK, CALL FOR HELP" written on the front in marker. Really good back and forth, the finish came when Natalya was distracted by a loud masculine scream coming from the back, which let AJ lock in the Black Widow. Afterwards, AJ skipped around the ring while Natalya ran backstage. AJ did around 20 laps, constantly motioning towards the words written on her. Tons of cheers for her; I think WWE should turn her face soon. She was finally dragged backstage by local secret police officers.
A cool video package was up next, projected into the very air in the arena - I think hyping up a new wrestler. The video was 30 seconds of footage of a man rapidly aging from young adulthood to withered old age. There was no music. Afterwards, red text read "THIS IS THE FATE OF ALL", and the date 3.19.14 flashed rapidly. Lots of boos for this; I think WWE has a good heel on their hands.
Main event was up next, and man, it was a doozy. The Shield, The New Age Outlaws, Rybaxel, and Orton took on The Usos, Big E Langston, The Rhodes Bros, John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan in a HUGE 16 man tag match. A couple of guys debuted new stuff, here's what I can remember:
Reigns now has a third eye growing in the center of his forehead. The eye excreted a black, viscous substance for most of the match.
Billy Gunn was dressed in hospital scrubs.
Ryback and Curtis Axel were chained together at the wrist, and Axel debuted a new gimmick in which he kept yelling out "Oh God, Help Us! Help Us Please We Don't Know How We Got Here!". Not the easiest chant to remember, and we unfortunately couldn't chant it under penalty of death, but I could see it getting him over in other cities.
One of the Usos is now a large Russian man with a beer belly and a hook hand. (Sorry, I wasn't sure which one).
John Cena now wrestles without a shadow and exudes a blue/green aura when he's on the outside of the ring.
Daniel Bryan debuted a new shirt, which was very cool. The front was a photo-realistic drawing of a skull, with the words "Goodnight sweet dreamers, don't be caught outside after dark!" written in fancy lettering on the back. Plus, the really good news - NO WWE TAG ON THE BOTTOM! So you can wear this one in public without being called a dork!
The finish came at 2:37:14 when Ambrose and Ryback were tossed into each other and exploded into a fine powder. Axel proceeded to slip on the powder, and Big E Langston used the momentary distraction to hit his new finisher: "Spraying a man with napalm". Then Cena AA'd Reigns through the pile of driftwood outside the ring, and Bryan hit his running knee on Orton for the pin.
Afterwards, Goldust began rapidly spinning in the ring, while Cody screamed "Oh God, not again!" over and over and attempted to slow down his brother. Emma came out again, this time with local Desert Bluffs celebrity millionaire F. Arthur Pendgragon. Pendragon fired a t-shirt cannon into the crowd. Unfortunately, the T-shirts had been replaced with heavy lead paperweights, and quite a few members of the crowd were gravely injured. The WWE golem then whisked us out the door and invited us to come back next time, if there was a next time, which there probably wasn't going to be.
As I walked to my car, I got really lucky and saw R-Truth outside arguing with a member of the local secret police. I overheard him say "You can't keep us here like animals, people will come to find us!" before being reminded by the police officer that no, nobody will ever come and find you, nobody EVER comes to Desert Bluffs unless they are invited.
Good show overall, I would post pictures but unforunately the heavy green mist that permeates the Desert Bluffs Sportatorium made it difficult to take a clear photo.
The Desert Bluffs Sportatorium was pretty much completely filled; they don't get a lot of shows out here since that Lenny and the Starjammers concert ended so badly but in '08. But the smell from that's finally started fading so I guess the WWE decided to give them a shot!
Emma and Santino were out first, both dancing to Emma's theme. They danced into the ring, their faces stoic and tears dripping down their cheeks the entire time. They entered the ring to a pretty big pop, then Santino pulled out a sheet of paper. He spoke without his TV accent (not sure if a character tweak or if he just forgot to do it) and read out a list of local celebrities that were in the audience last night. People like John Peters, you know, the farmer. Not to mention local businessman F. Arthur Pendragon. According to Santino, "We all have Mr. Pendragon to thank for this. Yes.... he's the one who made all this happen. God have mercy on us." Pretty cool to hear local people mentioned by a famous pro wrestler!
We went straight into the first match then; The Real Americans vs The Usos. Now, as you may or may not know, chanting of any sort is forbidden in Desert Bluffs. So "We The People" was unfortunately not a huge hit, nor was "US-O". So the guys seemed a little off their game. Swagger's left arm having been replaced with some sort of stainless steel gardening implement may have hurt, too. Not the greatest match, but it was pretty good. The Usos won in 12:37 via double superkicks to Cesaro, then a big splash to Swagger. Afterwards Zeb began to vomit up small black insects, which flew into the crowd and devoured a few younger members of the WWE universe. Lucky!!
After they locked Zeb away in his crate and the Real Americans wheeled him off, we had Vince McMahon of all people show up on a TV that had appeared in the middle of the ring. He was apparently live via satellite from an undisclosed location. It was a little hard to hear him over the constant hum of those insects being rounded up by local Desert Bluffs insect keepers, but he mentioned the WWE Network and something called the "Cursed Book Network". Maybe some kind of sister network for WWE? Sorry I couldn't hear more of this, it sounded interesting.
Next match was probably my favorite of the night; a shapeless blob that entered to CM Punk's old music ("This Fire Burns") vs a randomly selected member of the audience. One lucky guy was dragged kicking and screaming into the ring for this match, which ended in 0:18 after the blob completely enveloped the man, and the ref counted this as a pin. I see big things in the shapeless blob's future; he has that "IT" factor!
Diva's match up next, which was nice, since last time all I got to see was Alicia Fox taking some kids backstagel. By the way, if you are at a WWE show and see any random children walking around, please report it to the Nightvale police department. We're still looking for those kids from our show.
AJ Lee took on Natalya in a really excellent match. AJ debuted some new ring gear; a biohazard suit with the words "THIS IS NOT A GIMMICK, CALL FOR HELP" written on the front in marker. Really good back and forth, the finish came when Natalya was distracted by a loud masculine scream coming from the back, which let AJ lock in the Black Widow. Afterwards, AJ skipped around the ring while Natalya ran backstage. AJ did around 20 laps, constantly motioning towards the words written on her. Tons of cheers for her; I think WWE should turn her face soon. She was finally dragged backstage by local secret police officers.
A cool video package was up next, projected into the very air in the arena - I think hyping up a new wrestler. The video was 30 seconds of footage of a man rapidly aging from young adulthood to withered old age. There was no music. Afterwards, red text read "THIS IS THE FATE OF ALL", and the date 3.19.14 flashed rapidly. Lots of boos for this; I think WWE has a good heel on their hands.
Main event was up next, and man, it was a doozy. The Shield, The New Age Outlaws, Rybaxel, and Orton took on The Usos, Big E Langston, The Rhodes Bros, John Cena, Sheamus, and Daniel Bryan in a HUGE 16 man tag match. A couple of guys debuted new stuff, here's what I can remember:
Reigns now has a third eye growing in the center of his forehead. The eye excreted a black, viscous substance for most of the match.
Billy Gunn was dressed in hospital scrubs.
Ryback and Curtis Axel were chained together at the wrist, and Axel debuted a new gimmick in which he kept yelling out "Oh God, Help Us! Help Us Please We Don't Know How We Got Here!". Not the easiest chant to remember, and we unfortunately couldn't chant it under penalty of death, but I could see it getting him over in other cities.
One of the Usos is now a large Russian man with a beer belly and a hook hand. (Sorry, I wasn't sure which one).
John Cena now wrestles without a shadow and exudes a blue/green aura when he's on the outside of the ring.
Daniel Bryan debuted a new shirt, which was very cool. The front was a photo-realistic drawing of a skull, with the words "Goodnight sweet dreamers, don't be caught outside after dark!" written in fancy lettering on the back. Plus, the really good news - NO WWE TAG ON THE BOTTOM! So you can wear this one in public without being called a dork!
The finish came at 2:37:14 when Ambrose and Ryback were tossed into each other and exploded into a fine powder. Axel proceeded to slip on the powder, and Big E Langston used the momentary distraction to hit his new finisher: "Spraying a man with napalm". Then Cena AA'd Reigns through the pile of driftwood outside the ring, and Bryan hit his running knee on Orton for the pin.
Afterwards, Goldust began rapidly spinning in the ring, while Cody screamed "Oh God, not again!" over and over and attempted to slow down his brother. Emma came out again, this time with local Desert Bluffs celebrity millionaire F. Arthur Pendgragon. Pendragon fired a t-shirt cannon into the crowd. Unfortunately, the T-shirts had been replaced with heavy lead paperweights, and quite a few members of the crowd were gravely injured. The WWE golem then whisked us out the door and invited us to come back next time, if there was a next time, which there probably wasn't going to be.
As I walked to my car, I got really lucky and saw R-Truth outside arguing with a member of the local secret police. I overheard him say "You can't keep us here like animals, people will come to find us!" before being reminded by the police officer that no, nobody will ever come and find you, nobody EVER comes to Desert Bluffs unless they are invited.
Good show overall, I would post pictures but unforunately the heavy green mist that permeates the Desert Bluffs Sportatorium made it difficult to take a clear photo.
