Today my brother sent an amazing text about WWE
Mar 11, 2014 22:37:14 GMT -5
Rave, bob, and 19 more like this
Post by corndog on Mar 11, 2014 22:37:14 GMT -5
First of all, I will say this may offend some people, but I am posting it anyways in it's entirety because it is hilarious and I have a feeling many here will enjoy it. Today I sent my brother a text about Raw, "They might have fixed Wrestlemania....if Daniel Bryan can beat HHH."
This is what replied with,
"Or Lesnar beats UT, Bryan challenges HHH to a beard vs wife match, turning him heel justifying HHH to win. Thus Bryan's beard stripping him of his superpowers samson style. The fans riot. Batista wins the belt in front of an empty crowd as the crowd has been dispersed by riot police. The WWE Network fails. TNA rises to power after buying out ROH, destroying and strip mining it in the process. The sport of professional wrestling soon goes out of business completely.
Dana White becomes a billionaire after John Cena is killed by Brock Lesnar at UFC 259 to roaring applause, while CM Punk gives out handies in the parking lot for fifteen bucks a pop. Double handing it, two at a time, taking on all challengers like a champ. When he bumps into an out of business Vince still trying to draw out White in a parking lot brawl. Punk and Vince share a laugh at the irony of life and reconcile over a free handy, as Vince is now too poor to pay for one.
The Giant dies in Daniel Bryan's arms of heart failure as he watches helplessly, having previously been deprived of his super powers.
HHH having sold his shares for pennies on the dollar to TNA divorces Stephanie, taking an additional half of what McMahon fortune remained with him. He moves to San Fran, marries HBK and rents a room to sometime mistress Chyna and her wife Paul Heyman, whom of course eats all the fritos and never pays rent, though he's got money for Toblerone bars.
Kane seeks his fortune in investment banking and realty under the tutelage of Zeb Coulter. Zeb also employs Cesario to answer phones, do paperwork and clean up the place. Jack Swagger, who previously held the position, was laid off having been rendered obsolete by Cesario's over zealous, superior work ethic and mastery of the English language.
Cody Rhodes becomes an over weight alcoholic with stage 2 diabetes.
Wade Barrett goes back to law school and after years of being a successful defense attorney eventually becomes a circuit judge.
In an attempt to no sell life Ryback attempts suicide, and of course botches it leaving him crippled. While spectators Mark Henry, Bret Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jerry Lawler and Micheal Cole, having nothing better to do, commentate and $#it on the event.
Years later Rocky Maivia becomes the first black president, after starring in critically acclaimed Star Wars Episodes 10,12 and 13.
Bray Wyatt loses 100lbs while filming a knock off of man vs wild for Elrey Network. He then goes on to write an international best selling self book, cultimating in a day time talk show.
The Zigs becomes the first male NFL cheerleader.
The Great Khali buys a triple decker in Cape Cod and enjoys retirement. After attending his great great grandson's bar mitzpah, he is killed in a hovercraft accident in 2113 by Sphen Hogan, a trust fund inheriting great great great grandstepdaughter twice removed of Brooke Hogan.
After being dumped by Naomi for Secret Serviceman Brodus Clay,Jimmy Uso puts on 80lbs while brother smokes meth, they take to filming a webseries in local IHOPs.
In the year 2016 Road Dog Jesse James comes clean on the Morning Show with Bray Wyatt bout his addiction to steriods and comes out of the closet as a homosexual. Billy Gunn is offended by his lifestyle and denounces him on Fox News.
In late 2014 Sheamus is diagnosed with sickle cell anemia, which happens to be the same year Alberto Del Rio is elected el presidente of Mexico, with an asian man posing as a luchador for his VP. "
This is what replied with,
"Or Lesnar beats UT, Bryan challenges HHH to a beard vs wife match, turning him heel justifying HHH to win. Thus Bryan's beard stripping him of his superpowers samson style. The fans riot. Batista wins the belt in front of an empty crowd as the crowd has been dispersed by riot police. The WWE Network fails. TNA rises to power after buying out ROH, destroying and strip mining it in the process. The sport of professional wrestling soon goes out of business completely.
Dana White becomes a billionaire after John Cena is killed by Brock Lesnar at UFC 259 to roaring applause, while CM Punk gives out handies in the parking lot for fifteen bucks a pop. Double handing it, two at a time, taking on all challengers like a champ. When he bumps into an out of business Vince still trying to draw out White in a parking lot brawl. Punk and Vince share a laugh at the irony of life and reconcile over a free handy, as Vince is now too poor to pay for one.
The Giant dies in Daniel Bryan's arms of heart failure as he watches helplessly, having previously been deprived of his super powers.
HHH having sold his shares for pennies on the dollar to TNA divorces Stephanie, taking an additional half of what McMahon fortune remained with him. He moves to San Fran, marries HBK and rents a room to sometime mistress Chyna and her wife Paul Heyman, whom of course eats all the fritos and never pays rent, though he's got money for Toblerone bars.
Kane seeks his fortune in investment banking and realty under the tutelage of Zeb Coulter. Zeb also employs Cesario to answer phones, do paperwork and clean up the place. Jack Swagger, who previously held the position, was laid off having been rendered obsolete by Cesario's over zealous, superior work ethic and mastery of the English language.
Cody Rhodes becomes an over weight alcoholic with stage 2 diabetes.
Wade Barrett goes back to law school and after years of being a successful defense attorney eventually becomes a circuit judge.
In an attempt to no sell life Ryback attempts suicide, and of course botches it leaving him crippled. While spectators Mark Henry, Bret Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Jerry Lawler and Micheal Cole, having nothing better to do, commentate and $#it on the event.
Years later Rocky Maivia becomes the first black president, after starring in critically acclaimed Star Wars Episodes 10,12 and 13.
Bray Wyatt loses 100lbs while filming a knock off of man vs wild for Elrey Network. He then goes on to write an international best selling self book, cultimating in a day time talk show.
The Zigs becomes the first male NFL cheerleader.
The Great Khali buys a triple decker in Cape Cod and enjoys retirement. After attending his great great grandson's bar mitzpah, he is killed in a hovercraft accident in 2113 by Sphen Hogan, a trust fund inheriting great great great grandstepdaughter twice removed of Brooke Hogan.
After being dumped by Naomi for Secret Serviceman Brodus Clay,Jimmy Uso puts on 80lbs while brother smokes meth, they take to filming a webseries in local IHOPs.
In the year 2016 Road Dog Jesse James comes clean on the Morning Show with Bray Wyatt bout his addiction to steriods and comes out of the closet as a homosexual. Billy Gunn is offended by his lifestyle and denounces him on Fox News.
In late 2014 Sheamus is diagnosed with sickle cell anemia, which happens to be the same year Alberto Del Rio is elected el presidente of Mexico, with an asian man posing as a luchador for his VP. "
