Man allows hyena to eat his genitals because of Witch Dr

[King Ghidorah]

www.nydailynews.com/news/world/malawian-man-lets-hyena-eat-genitals-report-article-1.1741374

A Malawi man let a hyena devour his genitals after a witch doctor told him it would make him rich, according to reports.

Chamangeni Zulu, aged between 20 to 24, allowed the wild beast to rip off his private parts and three of his toes, the Times of Zambia wrote.

He had stripped naked at 4 a.m. last Monday after the sorcerer claimed that sacrificing his body parts would make him wealthy.

Cops rushed him to Chipata General Hospital in Zambia, close to the Malawi border, following the horrifying incident.

Zulu told the Times of Zambia from his hospital bed, "I was instructed to be naked and a hyena came to me and started eating my toes and eventually my manhood was eaten."

Despite the horrendous ordeal, Zulu still said he was still hoping to make it in the world.

"Even if I have lost some important parts of my body, I still want to get rich," he added.

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

Well, I mean, shit, why not? Man, it must be fun to be a witch doctor, just suggest random shit to people. "Yeah, cover yourself in Honey and tackle a bear, all the women will love you then!"

[Eunös ✈]

What's wrong with just saying " ooo ee oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang"?

Much simpler and less painful

[twiggy101]

At least he won't have any stupid children.

[Confused Mark Wahlberg]

Fun fact: Hyenas have extremely long clitorises, often mistaken for a penis.

[Deleted]

[Push R Truth]

oh god my balls

[A Platypus Rave]

Well at least he had a good reason.

[Mozenrath]

He might get paid for interviews, or write a book about it, so the witch doctor might be onto something.

[CATCH_US IS the Conversation]

Apr 2, 2014 15:06:01 GMT -5 "Gentleman" AJ Powell said:

Well, I mean, shit, why not? Man, it must be fun to be a witch doctor, just suggest random shit to people. "Yeah, cover yourself in Honey and tackle a bear, all the women will love you then!"

I'm not into bears, but the rest of that sounds pretty cool.

[Brood Lone Wolf Funker]

Apr 2, 2014 15:07:59 GMT -5 Eunös ✈ said:

What's wrong with just saying " ooo ee oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang"?

Much simpler and less painful

[Perd]

At least losing three toes wasn't so bad.

[fuzzywarble, squat cobbler]

Wow, something graphic that DIDNT' happen in Florida

[Hawk Hart]

I've gotta find a way to get myself into a Witch Medical school.

[Savage Gambino]

The love of money truly is the root of all evil.

["Gentleman" AJ Powell]

Apr 2, 2014 15:26:40 GMT -5 CATCH_US IS the Conversation said:

Apr 2, 2014 15:06:01 GMT -5 "Gentleman" AJ Powell said:

Well, I mean, shit, why not? Man, it must be fun to be a witch doctor, just suggest random shit to people. "Yeah, cover yourself in Honey and tackle a bear, all the women will love you then!"

I'm not into bears, but the rest of that sounds pretty cool.

I feel like the bears you're thinking of would probably still maul you, but in a different way.

[Deleted]

So without.........you know a penis.....what possible advantage is there in being a rich guy? You can finally get any girl you want.......and just talk to her?

.......Idiot

I bet that witch doctor wasn't even licensed

[MrBRulzOK]

What a smart investment. I mean who needs the ability to procreate when you can sacrifice all that for a vague chance at striking it rich based on the intuition of a single man who gets all his predictions by sacrificing chickens?

Where do I sign up?

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

Apr 2, 2014 15:07:59 GMT -5 Eunös ✈ said:

What's wrong with just saying " ooo ee oo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang"?

Much simpler and less painful

Ah man I was going to make that joke.

[Sephiroth]

The things people do for the love of money