Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
|
Post by Heartbreaker on Jul 26, 2014 4:14:49 GMT -5
Triple H: Sir, now that we've made budget cuts, we'll need a new crew to set up the ring. Vince McMahon: Yes, well find someone cheap! It's been a very lean year for us... *Vince glances at Triple H and smiles* Both: Money fight! *They both throw stacks of cash at one another*
|
|
Johnny Flamingo
Hank Scorpio
Killing the business one post at a time
Posts: 6,463
|
Post by Johnny Flamingo on Jul 26, 2014 4:18:47 GMT -5
Triple H: Vince, I'm telling you that those idea's will not go over well with the 18-35 year olds.
Vince: Am I out of touch? No It's the kids who are wrong
|
|
|
Post by Gravedigger's Biscuits on Jul 26, 2014 4:20:41 GMT -5
HHH: "Kids, Hulk Hogan has a bad back and laryngitis. So he won't be saying anything or doing anything!"
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Jul 26, 2014 9:08:58 GMT -5
(after Stephanie tells Vince that she's removing Kevin Dunn) Vince: Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.
|
|
|
Post by The Lach is very tired on Jul 26, 2014 9:31:40 GMT -5
Mr MacMahon: See The Rock five dollars! Or call him 24 hours a day on "RockChat"
(Young girl dials "RockChat")
Scott Hall: RockChat
Girl: Are you The Rock?
Hall: Sure I am, Can you smell what The Rock is baking?!
Girl: Isn't it "Can you smell what The Rock is COOKING?
Hall: Yeah, whatever *BURP!*
|
|
|
Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Jul 26, 2014 9:40:17 GMT -5
Triple H: Tell you what, Mr. Danielson. From now on, you'll be, uh, Daniel Bryan at WWE. Let's just practice a bit, hmm? When I say,"Hello, Daniel Bryan," you'll say, "Hi." Bryan: Check. Triple H: Hello, Daniel Bryan. Bryan: (stares blankly) Triple H: Remember now, your name is Daniel Bryan. Bryan: I gotcha. Triple H: Hello, Daniel Bryan. Bryan: (stares blankly) (A long time later) Triple H: (sighs in frustration) Now, when I say, "Hello, Daniel Bryan," and press down on your foot, you smile and nod. Bryan: No problem. Triple H: Hello, Daniel Bryan! (stomps on Bryans' foot a few times) Bryan: (stares blankly; to Vince) I think he's talking to you.
|
|
|
Post by OVO 40 hunched over like he 80 on Jul 26, 2014 9:42:11 GMT -5
Meanwhile at NXT... Triple H: Get me Kevin Steen. William Regal: He's unavailable. Triple H: Then get me his non-union equivalent.
Bull Dempsey debuts on tv.
|
|
|
Post by The Tank on Jul 26, 2014 10:21:39 GMT -5
*The Wyatt Family start singing "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands"*
Vince McMahon: .........have The Godwinns killed. Triple H: Uh, sir, those aren't... Vince: DO AS I SAY!
|
|
Soultastic
El Dandy
Only an idiot can be completely happy.
Posts: 7,706
Member is Online
|
Post by Soultastic on Jul 26, 2014 10:43:50 GMT -5
How Kevin Steen was hired Triple H: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our try-out camp this weekend. Steen: How much is this try-out? Triple H: It's free. Steen: And when is this weekend? Triple H: It's this weekend. Steen: Uh-huh. And how much does it cost? Triple H: Um, it's free. Steen: I see. And when is it? Triple H: It's... this weekend. Steen: And what are you charging for this free try-out?
|
|
|
Post by Porky's Butthole on Jul 26, 2014 11:23:51 GMT -5
World's Greatest Tag Team reunite! {Spoiler}{Spoiler}
|
|
ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
|
Post by ededdneddy on Jul 26, 2014 12:09:44 GMT -5
KENTA: I'm KENTA and I am the newest WWE Superstar.
Triple H: Now, that's just bad. You've got no attitude, you're barely outrageous, and I don't know what you're in, but it's not my face. Next!
KENTA: (angry) Oh, no attitude, eh?! Not in your face, huh?! Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!
Triple H: That's it! That's the attitude, do that again!
KENTA: Huh? I can't, I don't remember what I did.
Triple H: Then you don't get the job. Next!
KENTA: (sarcastically) Oh, I don't get the job, do I? We-ell boo-hoo! I don't get to be a WWE Superstar!
Triple H: That's it, you've got the job!
KENTA: (still sarcastic) Oh, now I've got the job, huh? (realizes) Oh, thank you.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 12:46:00 GMT -5
"Can you imagine a FAN without Kevin Dunn?"
|
|
Malcolm
Grimlock
Wanted something done about the color of his ring.
Eternally Confused
Posts: 13,478
|
Post by Malcolm on Jul 26, 2014 14:04:58 GMT -5
Daniel Bryan: I need your advice John Cena: Yeah? Daniel Bryan: See, I got this friend named... Eddie Ed..wards? John Cena: That's the worst name I ever heard. *Eddie Edwards runs out crying* Dean Ambrose: Hey! Eddie Edwards!
|
|
|
Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jul 26, 2014 19:31:21 GMT -5
Regal: (reading a book) And the ugly duckling was amazed to realize it had grown into a beautiful swan. So you see, children, there is hope for anyone. Zack Ryder: (raises hand) Even me? Regal: No.
-----
*Paul Heyman is reinstated to WWE Creative to fix WWE's story problems* Paul Heyman: (enters to the tune of Welcome Back, Kotter) I'm not much on speeches, but it is so gratifying...to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made, you're screwed. Thank you, bye. (leaves to the tune of Welcome Back, Kotter) Kofi: He's right. He's not much on speeches.
-----
Cena: Well, there were script problems from day one. Nikki: It doesn't look like anyone read the script. Cena: That was the problem.
-----
Vince: Ah, that's one fine looking Summerslam Card. WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?! WHY?! WHY MUST LIFE BE SO HARD?! WHY MUST I FAIL AT EVERY ATTEMPT AT BOOKING?!" (breaks down crying)
-----
Triple H: Oh, yeah, that'll be real productive. Who do you want to talk to first? The guy with a luchadore mask or the one with a red bodysuit? Kane: My opinions are as valid as the next man's!
----- Daniel Bryan: Excuse me. I thought wrestling companies were required to serve high workrate alternatives. Jerry Lawler: (puts a Superstars match between Dolph Ziggler and Tyson Kidd in the DVD player and says in a perfect deadpan) Here. It's rich in smarky goodness. Daniel Bryan: Do you even remember when you had passion for this job? Lawler: (looks shocked and presses the independent thought alarm)
-----
Ric Flair: All right, I admit it: I am the Lindbergh baby. Waah! Waah! Goo goo. I miss my fly-fly dada. Chris Jericho: Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile? Flair: A little from column A, a little from column B.
-----
Miz: (rapidly) CM Punk rented a car with a phony driver's license and drove Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reings to week out in Knoxville and their car got crushed and they're out of money and they can't come back home and Punk's working as a courier and he just got back from Hong Kong! Vince: (Face reddens; in an eerily calm tone) Yes, that's a real pickle. Would you excuse me for a moment. (Vince puts on a radiation suit and rages incomprehensibly for a few seconds. He then returns to Miz.) Vince: (calm again) Okay. I have thought this through. I will send Punk the money to fly home. Then I will murder him.
-----
Seth Rollins: This is so cool, Randy. We're just like Woodward and Bernstein. Randy Orton: Yeah, except their boss wasn't waiting in the car reading Archie comics. Triple H: (reading the comic and grumbling) Stuck-up Riverdale punks. Think they're too good for me.
----- Seth Rollins: Are we taking the new Lexus to Daniel Bryan and CM Punk's funeral today? Triple H: Hmm. Fabulous house, well-behaved employees, Indy Darlings dead, luxury sedan. Woohoo! I hit the jackpot! (he sits down at the table, trying to sound like a rich gentleman) Steph, dear, would you kindly pass me a best of NWA DVD? Marge: NWA? What's a NWA? (Triple H screams like a crazy man and runs back to the time machine. Steph looks out the window and sees Ric Steamboat, Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair falling from the sky.) Steph: (nonchalantly) Hmph. It's raining again.
-----
Triple H: Permit me to solve the mystery: Steph has a fear of flying! Orton: So much for the days when I could say, "At least my female boss's normal." Steph: Everyone has a fear of something. Triple H: (smugly) Not everyone. Steph: Puppet H! Triple H: (panicked) Where!? Where?! AAAUGHH! (Runs offscreen)
|
|
|
Post by SCCB Was Told To Do Steroids on Jul 26, 2014 20:13:49 GMT -5
This one's too easy:
Batista: Trip, are they "booing" me?
HHH: Oh no, dude. They're saying "Boo-tista, Boo-tista"!
Batista: [to crowd] Are you chanting "boo" or "Boo-tista"?
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hans Moleman: I was saying "Boo-tista"!
Zach Simpson: The moral of this story, kids, is: never try.
|
|
|
Post by SCCB Was Told To Do Steroids on Jul 26, 2014 20:54:28 GMT -5
Punk: I've had to work hard every day of my life and what do I have to show for it? This Pepsi tattoo and this haircut! And what do you have to show for this lifetime of sloth and ignorance?
Cena: What?
Punk: Everything! A dream house, two cars, a beautiful wife, as many titles as RIC FLAIR, glow-in-the-dark clothes, and (sniff) lobsters for dinner!
Punk: [points at Cena] That's the man who's supposed to be the measuring stick for this company? It boggles the mind!
DZ: It's best not to think about it.
Vince: [to Sid Justice walking by] Hiya, Stretch, what's the good word?
Sid: My name is Justice, uh, McMahon, Sid Justice. I took the trouble to learn your name, so the last you could do is learn mine.
Vince: Okay, Psycho.
|
|
|
Post by thegame415 on Jul 26, 2014 20:56:31 GMT -5
Vince: at first, the Bella's were our worst fear...SIAMESE TWINS.
Triple H: Vince, I believe the prefer to be called conjoined twins,
Vince: and hillbillies prefer to be called sons of the soil.
|
|
ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
|
Post by ededdneddy on Jul 26, 2014 21:47:21 GMT -5
"Mark": Last night's Monday Night RAW was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Regular Fan: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
"Mark": As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Regular Fan: What? They've given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free! What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them!
"Mark": Worst episode ever.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 21:52:51 GMT -5
Stupid Sexy Roman Reigns...
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2014 21:55:03 GMT -5
|
|