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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jul 28, 2014 6:11:57 GMT -5
Vince: Everyone whose found true love can go home early today! *WWE wrestlers all cheer and leave the building, except for Zack Ryder, whose left alone and looking very sad*
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FHgrad99
El Dandy
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 8,991
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Post by FHgrad99 on Jul 28, 2014 7:22:22 GMT -5
Stephanie McMahon: Mr. Punk, why are you moving? CM Punk: Cause I had a vision of myself... shooting your father. Shane McMahon: In this neighborhood, who hasn't? Stephanie: Well, you can't fight fate, but if you must shoot our father, please remember our family motto: "Not in the face."
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Jul 28, 2014 8:28:00 GMT -5
Well Vince McMahon had done it WWF had won it With Eric Bischoff hunting all the while Arquette's title reign got us all riled While Russo kept recycling his old crash TV style
We're talking wrestling From Atlanta to New York Talking wrestling With Japanese luchadores
The Big Show's grotesquely swollen jaw Scott Hall and his run ins with the law We're talking Heyman's shitty bingo hall
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Jul 28, 2014 10:35:52 GMT -5
Vince: Patterson Senior gave his life to save the company. And since cover-ups were all the rage back then, I shoved his heroic corpse down the sewer pipe. I never told Pat the truth about his father.
Pat: Until tonight, sir.
Vince: (GASPS) Patterson Junior.
Orton: Ha! Busted.
Triple H: Now the movie's turned into a play. Still good though.
Vince: I'm sorry I lied to you, Pat. But I wanted to spare you the details of your father's gruesome death.
Pat: Well, I'm glad to know he died a hero instead of that other way.
Vince: I told him his father was killed in the Amazon by a tribe of savage women. I hope it didn't affect you in any way.
Pat: We'll never know, sir.
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Post by The Tee Why on Jul 28, 2014 12:01:40 GMT -5
This thread is amazing
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Jul 28, 2014 12:59:27 GMT -5
Vince: Patterson Senior gave his life to save the company. And since cover-ups were all the rage back then, I shoved his heroic corpse down the sewer pipe. I never told Pat the truth about his father. Pat: Until tonight, sir. Vince: (GASPS) Patterson Junior. Orton: Ha! Busted. Triple H: Now the movie's turned into a play. Still good though. Vince: I'm sorry I lied to you, Pat. But I wanted to spare you the details of your father's gruesome death. Pat: Well, I'm glad to know he died a hero instead of that other way. Vince: I told him his father was killed in the Amazon by a tribe of savage women. I hope it didn't affect you in any way. Pat: We'll never know, sir. Hello. Pat. You're. Quite Good. At. Booking. My. Matches.
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segaz
Samurai Cop
Posts: 2,381
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Post by segaz on Jul 28, 2014 13:35:21 GMT -5
HHH: Here to speak for El Dandy's funeral, Mr Bret Hart! Bret: I'm...uh actually here for the anniversary of my brothers death.... HHH: I'll handle this. BRET HART EVERYBODY! Bret: Although you know....I was a jam up guy several years before El Dandy ever was so I could never really have doubted anything....directly about him....I think in a way, in a very 4/10 way, that I....all-all of us. have learned.....not to doubt him.
Vince: Hey DDP. What's the deal with the 'Diamond' in your name? DDP: Huh? Vince: Like does it shoot lasers, can you sell it for a lot of money, that kind of stuff. DDP: Shouldn't we be discussing the terms of the new contract you have for me coming into the WWE? You do have lots of good storylines lined up for me, right? Vince: As long as you have absolutely no follow-up questions, yes. Yes we have. Dunn: Lots. *Vince and Dunn look at each other awkwardly* Dunn: We have to go now.
Shane: I can't believe I have to go appear on the TNT network. Vince: Now son, they put out a lot of quality programming. Both: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH!!!
I wish I was talented enough to do one mimicking Stweiw and Brian where Stewiw keeps pronouncing the H in 'cool whip' but with Cena and HHH about Cenas Boston accent.
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Jul 28, 2014 15:21:53 GMT -5
*Vince and Triple H in Titan towers*
Vince: I think I'll starting booking a stronger midcard that the fans have been clamoring for. *pause* Vince: When bulls fly! *As both laugh, El Torito flies past the window* Triple H: Shall I get to work on that card now sir? Vince: No, I still prefer not too.
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Malcolm
Grimlock
Wanted something done about the color of his ring.
Eternal No-Hoper
Posts: 13,478
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Post by Malcolm on Jul 29, 2014 12:04:26 GMT -5
Zack Ryder: Well, Mr. McMahon looks happy today ever since Punk quit and Bryan got injured. Heh, watch me, uh, take advantage of his good mood. Miz: Ooh. Zack: Uh, Mr. McMahon, um, can I have a push? Vince: [cheerfully] Clean out your locker, you're gone. Zack: Well, I had a good run.
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Post by gnr123 on Jul 29, 2014 12:20:54 GMT -5
Vince: "Hey Shane, you gotta show me how to go on twitter." Shane: "Sure Dad." Vince turns computer on, Shawn Michaels is on the screen in a playgirl picture. "Hi Vince. You. Are. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On." Vince: "Maybe you should ignore that."
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Post by Ryback on a Pole! on Jul 29, 2014 12:37:39 GMT -5
*After the poor buyrates for WWE network*
Vince: "I am hereby declaring a state of emergency! Code Black!" Christian: "Black? That's the worst colour there is! No offence Xavier!" Xavier Woods: "I get it all the time"
*Randy and Cody discussing their Legacy days.
Cody Rhodes: "Ted DiBiase was always blowing his spare cash by paying us to kiss each." Randy Orton: "Did we ever get that money?"
Big Show: "Kane, I don't want you to see me cry." Kane: "Aw come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee, you cry when we're out of chocolate milk, you cry when you've blew all your money on a strip mall and have to do Triple H's dirty work." Big Show: "Well, I didn't want you to see me cry THIS time."
Alex Riley: [trying out Zack Ryder's new 8-Ball] Will I appear on Raw today? "Outlook not so good." Hey, it does work! Zack Ryder: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? "All signs point to yes." Alberto: That ball knows everything! *Locks the Cross Armbreaker on Zack*
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FHgrad99
El Dandy
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 8,991
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Post by FHgrad99 on Jul 29, 2014 12:56:10 GMT -5
Vince McMahon: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Patterson, take off my belt. Pat Patterson: With pleasure, sir.
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Post by Beets by Schrute on Jul 29, 2014 13:36:55 GMT -5
*TNA roster in line for WWE applications* Bart in fake voice: What do you mean they're out of jobs?! Solvent?! You only have enough spots for the next 3 customers?! *TNA roster mobs application window*
Ric Flair: you gotta give me back my robes! It ruins my gimmick! Repo guy: Hey next time pay your bills. Flair: But I don't want to!
Triple H: It's time for the easiest part of a VP of Talent Relations job- the cuts. Bourne is cut. Teddy Long is cut. Yoshi is cut. Jinder you're gone. McIntyre, you have a great gimmick, that's why it was so hard to cut you. Congratulations! The rest of you made the roster...except you, you and you. *points to Aksana, Brodus Clay, Hawkins, Camacho and JTG*
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 17:28:06 GMT -5
*TNA roster in line for WWE applications* Triple H: It's time for the easiest part of a VP of Talent Relations job- the cuts. Bourne is cut. Teddy Long is cut. Yoshi is cut. Jinder you're gone. McIntyre, you have a great gimmick, that's why it was so hard to cut you. Congratulations! The rest of you made the roster...except you, you and you. *points to Aksana, Brodus Clay, Hawkins, Camacho and JTG* Brodus: "Sheamus is still on the roster... *glares at Sheamus as he walks away* that's a surprise!"
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Jul 29, 2014 17:45:04 GMT -5
Punk: Now, I'm not one to make trouble, but it seems to me that everyone who got a WWE Title Reign, or [air quotes] Main Event Status were all [points finger accusingly] ASS KISSERS!
John Cena: Dooh, poppycock!
The Rock: Well, I never! [Triple H is next to him and is horrified, and drops his shovel]
Punk: And, as usual, we Joe Twelve-Packs get the royal screw job.
Kofi: [stands up] Punk's right. We're getting the Zack Ryder special.
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Post by OVO 40 hunched over like he 80 on Jul 29, 2014 18:04:11 GMT -5
Fan (taunting): Baaarrettt… Baaaaaarretttt… Bad News Barrett: What? Fan: Baaaarrett… Bad News Barrett: What?! What is it?!! Fan: Match's out there! Ha ha ha, made you look!
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Post by Zaq "That Guy" Buzzkill on Jul 29, 2014 18:38:54 GMT -5
*budget meeting* Dixie carter in disguise: "Hell my name is Ms......Retrac and I come from a far away place. Yes that will do. And I say we invest the money in our local TNA company!" Vince Russo: I like the way Ms Retrac thinks!
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Jul 29, 2014 22:11:53 GMT -5
Triple H: Company meeting! Company meeting! (the rest of the roster runs into the locker room and quickly takes their seats) Okay, people, let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families. (everyone laughs) All right, first item: I lost our companies savings in the stock market. Now let's move on to the real issue: Daniel Bryans hogging of the maple syrup.
Daniel: Well, maybe if catering didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it.
Stephanie: Well, maybe if you'd eat some meat you'd have a natural lubricant. (gasps, and turns to Hunter) You lost all our money?
Triple H: Point of order: I didn't lose all the money. There was enough left for this title belt. (shows off the belt, and the plate designs break apart in his hands) Damn you, eBay!
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Post by OVO 40 hunched over like he 80 on Jul 29, 2014 23:28:36 GMT -5
John Morrison: I need this push, my girl's gonna leave me. Miz: I'll take it from here John. John picks the phone: You should've seen me honey, I was so close to getting a push. Hey who is that in the background? Awww is that Batista? I thought you were gonna leave him. No, no...don't put him on. Oh, hi Dave!
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Jul 29, 2014 23:53:10 GMT -5
Punk [to AJ]: Well now that I am unemployed I have a great way to solve our money woes. You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant.
AJ: Are you crazy? I'm not going to be a surrogate mother.
Punk: C'mon, AJ, we're a team. It's uter-us, not uter-you.
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