Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
|
Post by Hawk Hart on Sept 15, 2014 19:10:44 GMT -5
That's right FAN, it's the Off-Topic Monster, Hawk Lesnar and I'm here to address what that short shit Danny Devito had to say about my title.  I know the FAN Title Commission stole my title from me a few months back and gave to someone else...then someone else...then another dude but they've all either lost it, given it up, or just disappeared and since I never gave up my custom belt I'm taking right now to declare the FAN Title tournament null and void in favor of continuing my reign.  That's right, I'm going over the heads of Glitch, Danny Devito, and even Kash Flagg and declaring myself the new, current reigning and defending FAN Champion. But, because I'm a benevolent beast, I'll grant one challenger of my choosing a title shot. @supersweetbotch! The way I figure it, I got two things you want, the FAN Title and the GendBend 45000 which I used to gender-swap a large portion of the FAN Universe. And you got something I want, an ass to kick!  If you can beat me at the next PPV, you get the belt and I'll turn you back into a FAN MAN. |
|
Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846 
|
Post by Heartbreaker on Sept 15, 2014 19:24:25 GMT -5
*steals belt and skips away*
|
|
|
|
Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Sept 15, 2014 19:26:26 GMT -5
I'll have you know I still haven't cashed in my title shot for winning FANXT or my FANny in the Bank contract! However, as a loyal employee of the Authority, I hold them in reserve just in case by some miracle someone can beat Hawk Lesnar! Because, let's face it, he's what's best for business!
|
|
Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
|
Post by Hawk Hart on Sept 15, 2014 19:31:00 GMT -5
*steals belt and skips away* *Trips Heartbreaker and catches the title* There's defense #1. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 19:34:07 GMT -5
I'd be more impressed if your custom belt had an image of your face instead of the front plate.
|
|
Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
|
Post by Hawk Hart on Sept 15, 2014 19:39:13 GMT -5
I'd be more impressed if your custom belt had an image of your face instead of the front plate.  ...   That's #2. |
|
Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway.
Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,789 
|
Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Sept 15, 2014 19:41:15 GMT -5
Just walks away whistling going you win
|
|
Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
|
Post by Hawk Hart on Sept 15, 2014 19:44:19 GMT -5
Just walks away whistling going you win There's the third. I think at this rate, I'm quickly becoming the fightingest champion in FAN history. |
|
|
|
Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Sept 15, 2014 19:47:38 GMT -5
Just walks away whistling going you win There's the third. I think at this rate, I'm quickly becoming the fightingest champion in FAN history. *hits HDM with the FITB briefcase and curb stomps him* You don't turn your back on the champ, peasant! |
|
MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
|
Post by MrBRulzOK on Sept 15, 2014 19:48:13 GMT -5
Ladies and gentlemen, my client, HAWK LESNAR, welcomes any and all challengers! And as such, I welcome each commission bonus I get for him successfully defending his title.
So please, continue to throw yourselves at him in some vain attempt at victory. Because not only will I enjoy watching you all be destroyed one by one, but even more will I enjoy having my pockets filled to the brim paid with your own blood.
|
|
Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
|
Post by Hawk Hart on Sept 15, 2014 19:53:33 GMT -5
There's the third. I think at this rate, I'm quickly becoming the fightingest champion in FAN history. *hits HDM with the FITB briefcase and curb stomps him* You don't turn your back on the champ, peasant! Ladies and gentlemen, my client, HAWK LESNAR, welcomes any and all challengers! And as such, I welcome each commission bonus I get for him successfully defending his title. So please, continue to throw yourselves at him in some vain attempt at victory. Because not only will I enjoy watching you all be destroyed one by one, but even more will I enjoy having my pockets filled to the brim paid with your own blood. That's right, keep 'em comin'. There's absolutely nobody that can beat me. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 20:06:33 GMT -5
Hawk Hart is a monster. He's a force who leaves a trail of destruction of everyone who dares cross his path. He can't be reasoned with, all he likes doing is hurting people. I know I'm going to be walking into the ass kicking of my life time. I'll get pulverized, I will be brutalized, I may bleed, I may vomit, and I may pee! My body maybe broken just like how he has broken everyone else so far. But what Hawk Hart doesn't have is HEART! I WILL GET DESTROYED BUT I WON'T GIVE UP! I WON'T QUIT! I'LL FIGHT THROUGH THE ASS KICKING OF MY LIFETIME BUT I WILL CONTINUE FIGHTING THROUGH THE PISS, VOMIT, AND BLOOD BECAUSE I HAVE HEART GODAMMIT AND I'M GOING TO BEAT HIM!!!! So with that being said bring it on Hawk Hart*walks into the ring and the match begins* {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}  AND THE WINNER AND...... {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}....NEW FAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SUPERSWEETIE WHO ONCE AGAIN IS NOW A MAN!!!!!!!!! Glitch call Danny DeVito and make it official
|
|
|
|
Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Sept 15, 2014 20:07:56 GMT -5
So it's settled then. This Sunday, it's a triple threat between Kash, Supersweet and Hawk inside the cage. If Brood Lone Wolf Funker or Magic knows Black Lives Matter come anywhere near the ring as they've tried to do these past few weeks, they will be suspended indefinitely. |
|
|
|
Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Sept 15, 2014 20:19:13 GMT -5
*runs down to the ring and hands his briefcase to Clash!*
I'M CASHING IN! I'M CASHING IN! RING THE DAMN BELL!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 20:24:35 GMT -5
*runs down to the ring and hands his briefcase to Clash!* I'M CASHING IN! I'M CASHING IN! RING THE DAMN BELL! *I put a bomb in your briefcase earlier in the day that only gets activated if you cash it in officially* *ring bells* "Gentleman" AJ Powell briefcase explodes WARNING GRAPHIC FOOTAGE OF "Gentleman" AJ Powell getting his head blownup {Spoiler}{Spoiler}  Recovery time. Next week. All he needs is one singular bandaid on his forehead. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2014 1:02:47 GMT -5
*runs down to the ring and hands his briefcase to Clash!* I'M CASHING IN! I'M CASHING IN! RING THE DAMN BELL! *I put a bomb in your briefcase earlier in the day that only gets activated if you cash it in officially* *ring bells* "Gentleman" AJ Powell briefcase explodes WARNING GRAPHIC FOOTAGE OF "Gentleman" AJ Powell getting his head blownup {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} Recovery time. Next week. All he needs is one singular bandaid on his forehead.   |
|
Fundertaker
El Dandy
Hideo Kojima should direct every ending ever!
Posts: 8,914
|
Post by Fundertaker on Sept 16, 2014 4:03:04 GMT -5
Yeah, I have money.
|
|
Glitch
King Koopa
Not Going To Die; Childs, we're goin' out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we're not with him... burn him.
Watching you.
Posts: 12,714
|
Post by Glitch on Sept 16, 2014 4:33:01 GMT -5
*Danny Devito steps out of a Scottish limo.* *mumbles beneath breath,* "Bunch of meatheads get me out of bed at this hour for just for this."  "Alright everybody, time to make all this crap official." "We're combining these two titles:  To create a unified champion with this new title.  SuperSweet is now your new unified champion!!! and while we're at it, this story is of a champion refusing to give up his title, so a new one is crowned. And they fight to combine two of the same belt. You just ripped off AJ Styles versus Magnus! Someone get me a drink." |
|
|
|
Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on Sept 16, 2014 4:57:36 GMT -5
Its a dark day for FAN forums.  |
|
|
|
Post by Clash, Never a Meter Maid on Sept 16, 2014 7:15:49 GMT -5
BTW Danny, I LOVED Hoffa. You and Jack were amazing.
|
|
