|
Post by Hit Girl on Nov 21, 2014 2:01:44 GMT -5
Who destroyed Zack Ryder's push? Who gave Demolition Crush? We do, we do
Who makes sure it's all a work? Who hired Layfield, he loves twerks? We do, we do
Who controls the Hall of Fame? Who books shows which are all the same? We do, we do
Who employed Michael Cole? Heidenreich destroyed his hole! We do, we dooooooooooooo!
|
|
|
Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Nov 22, 2014 20:23:08 GMT -5
Who destroyed Zack Ryder's push? Who gave Demolition Crush? We do, we do
Who makes sure it's all a work? Who hired Layfield, he loves twerks? We do, we do
Who controls the Hall of Fame? Who books shows which are all the same? We do, we do
Who employed Michael Cole? Heidenreich destroyed his hole! We do, we dooooooooooooo! Who keeps the IWC favourites down? Who poops in Jerry Lawler's crown? We dooooooo, we do
|
|
|
Post by Gravedigger's Biscuits on Dec 2, 2014 7:53:52 GMT -5
Vince: What does the future hold for Cesaro? Heh. Let's just say we have a few ideas up our sleeve. Austin: Like what? Vince: Um, I'd rather not get into it right now. Austin: Why not? Vince: All right, we don't have any ideas for the future. We got nothing. Happy? Austin: [whiny] No.
|
|
|
Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Dec 2, 2014 9:08:59 GMT -5
Vince: What does the future hold for Cesaro? Heh. Let's just say we have a few ideas up our sleeve. Austin: Like what? Vince: Um, I'd rather not get into it right now. Austin: Why not? Vince: All right, we don't have any ideas for the future. We got nothing. Happy? Austin: [whiny] No. This is f***ing amazing!
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Dec 3, 2014 20:19:04 GMT -5
Two from the same episode:
On the Podcast:
Steve Austin: Pushing some new guys is very reasonable. By ignoring them, you're selling out these wrestler's future!
Vince McMahon: Oh, come on, Steve: we both know these wrestlers _have_ no future!
[the WWE Locker Room stops and look at him] Vince McMahon:[chuckles nervously] Prove me wrong, guys. Prove me wrong.
Triple H listens to the Punk Podcast:
Triple H: Punk, if you don't like your job, you don't walkout: you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
|
|
Heartbreaker
King Koopa
Is actually Bindi Irwin
RIP Punk's media scrum, Page 54, Muffins, Biting People Bad™ (2022 - 2022)
Posts: 11,846
|
Post by Heartbreaker on Dec 4, 2014 3:44:09 GMT -5
CM Punk: Calm down, Punky diddily diddily diddily, doodily. They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily. Gotta be nice, hostidididildilidilly... aw, hell-diddly-ding-dong crap! Can't you morons do anything right?!
*everyone gasps*
Vince McMahon: Punk! We meant well and everyone here tried their best.
CM Punk: Well, I can't wrestle in good intentions, Vince! Oh, your family's out of control, but we can't blame you, because you have good intentions!
Chris Amann: Hey! Back off, man!
CM Punk: Ooh, okay, dude! I wouldn't want you to have a fatty deposit, man! Here's a catch-phrase you better learn for your adult years: "Hey, buddy, need a Z-pak?"
Chris Amann: I am shocked and appalled.
Stephanie McMahon: Punk, with all due respect, Chris didn't do anything.
CM Punk: Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Stephanie McMahon, WWE's answer to a question no one asked!
*Michael Hayes laughs*
CM Punk: What do we have here? - The long flabby arm of the WWE? The last case you got the bottom of, was a case of Mallomars!
Kevin Dunn: Mallomars, oh haha. That's going in the act.
CM Punk: Oh yeah, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh. And as for you, I don't know you, but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Rusev: Hey, I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
CM Punk: You ugly, hate-filled man!
Triple H: Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I... um, what was the third thing you said?
CM Punk: Ryback, you are the worst human being I have ever met.
Ryback: Hey, I got off pretty easy.
|
|
|
Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Dec 4, 2014 4:23:25 GMT -5
Both of those last two are perfect, absolutely perfect!
|
|
|
Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 4, 2014 12:48:23 GMT -5
WWE are doing a focus group with a bunch of marks.
Kevin Dunn: OK who want's gritty storylines and badass characters from the attitude era? *all the marks all get excited and agree* Kevin: OK and who wants the fun cartoonish and the colorful characters from the 80s era? *all the marks all get excited and agree* Kevin: So you want gritty badass characters and being cartoonish and colorful.. *Suddenly the lights go on in the observation room with Vince McMahon against the glass* Vince: You Marks don't know what you want cause you're marks, you're stupid... Just tell me what's wrong with the freaking show!
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,565
|
Post by chrom on Dec 4, 2014 17:13:00 GMT -5
Announcer: Airing on The WWE Network It's The Kane Komedy Klassic!
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Dec 5, 2014 19:00:49 GMT -5
WWE and THQ decide who's going to be on the cover of WWE 13:
THQ Rep: I want CM Punk.
Vince: Sheamus, it is. Rep: No, I said "CM Punk".
Vince: "Sheamus"?
Rep: [slowly] CM--Punk.
Vince: Shea-mus? Rep: C -- M --
Vince: S -- H --
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 19:11:56 GMT -5
Stone Cold: Mr. McMahon, how do you respond to the charges that WWE ratings are down eighty percent, while burials are up a shocking nine hundred percent? Vince McMahon: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Steve. Forfty percent of all people know that. Stone Cold: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group of writers has been burying more wrestlers than it's put over? Vince McMahon: Oh, Steve, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't burying the talent. Stone Cold: [pause] Well, touché.
|
|
MiLB Fan
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,374
|
Post by MiLB Fan on Dec 5, 2014 20:02:10 GMT -5
*The locker room gathers to hear the results of WWE Magazine's "Dress Scoop Sullivan" contest*
Vince McMahon: And the winner is … Shawn Michaels!
Bret Hart: WHAAAAAT?!
Triple H: Way to go, Shawn!
Kevin Nash: You the man, HBK!
Bret: But this was a contest for children!
Triple H: Yeah, and Shawn beat their brains out!
*everyone cheers*
Bret: This whole locker room is insane! Insane I tell you!
*Bret runs off*
Bret: I can be a jerk backstage too, watch! Look at me, I'm a whiny little diva, just like Shawn Michaels! Give me the WWE Title! I piss everyone off, but nobody minds! I'm peeing on the seat; give me a raise! Now I'm gonna get in the ring without washing my hands but it doesn't matter because I'M SHAWN MICHAELS! I don't need to put over young talent or lose the title, because someone else will do it for me! D'oh d'oh d'oh d'oh d'oh!
Shawn: Yo Hitman, you okay?
Bret: Oh I'm better than okay! I'm Shawn Michaels!
Shawn: Ha, you wish!
Bret: Oh hi Mr. McMahon! I'm the worst worker in the world! Time to hang out with my KLIQ and eat my lobster!
*Bret runs over to the tech area*
Bret: Oh what's this? "Danger High Voltage" Well I don't need safety gloves because I'm Shawn Mich---
ZAP!
|
|
Chiral
Salacious Crumb
Posts: 73,501
|
Post by Chiral on Dec 5, 2014 20:25:14 GMT -5
"I must say, in many ways, WWE really beats the old slave labor camp."
|
|
|
Post by G✇JI☈A on Dec 5, 2014 20:38:37 GMT -5
Cole: "and now in this Randy Orton vs John Cena match, Cena has requested a time out to get a new pair of jorts... and now there is a beach ball in the ring and the referees are discussing who is gonna go get it.
Jake Roberts (fresh out of rehab, sitting in front row): I never realized how boring this Sports Entertainment is.
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,565
|
Post by chrom on Dec 11, 2014 9:30:39 GMT -5
Being a Wrestling Clown sucks, you get kicked by kids, insulted by smarks, and admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no business being a Wrestling Clown. I'm leaving the Wrestling Clown business to all the other Wrestling Clowns in the Wrestling Clown business!
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,565
|
Post by chrom on Dec 29, 2014 17:50:56 GMT -5
*In the 90s Vince schemes to block out all other wrestling companies so everyone will have to watch WWF and overlooks a diorama of them all and begins to laugh and stomps them.*
Vince: Take that WCW Power Plant! Take that Bingo Hall! Take that Titan Towers!...oh fiddlesticks.
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,565
|
Post by chrom on Dec 29, 2014 17:52:05 GMT -5
*In the 90s Vince schemes to block out all other wrestling companies so everyone will have to watch WWF and overlooks a diorama of them all and begins to laugh and stomps them.*
Vince: Take that WCW Power Plant! Take that Bingo Hall! Take that Titan Towers!...oh fiddlesticks.
|
|
|
Post by RI Richmark on Jan 20, 2015 8:02:23 GMT -5
During the Main Event last night:
Sting: Hey everybody, whoa! Look at me, I'm over here. Turn this way right now!
Kane: Hey, it's Sting!
Big Show: And he's doin' nothing! [everyone turns to look, fascinated] Triple H: Sting, stop creating a diversion and get out of here!
|
|
chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,565
|
Post by chrom on Jan 20, 2015 12:37:27 GMT -5
Narrator: Society put Minoru Suzuki away for his brutal crime. But he's paid his debt, and now he's going to get revenge on Zack Ryder.
|
|
|
Post by Perpetual Nirvana on Jan 20, 2015 15:01:00 GMT -5
Announcer: Airing on The WWE Network It's The Kane Komedy Klassic! Kane: Hey, it's great to be back at Madison Square Garden and...KKK? That's not good.
|
|