chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
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Post by chrom on Jan 30, 2015 18:53:28 GMT -5
*Goldust unfornuately suffers a hard blow that knocks him out and puts him in a coma. During his time in the hospital Dusty stands over him
Dusty: Poor Dustin, the world was never meant for one as beautiful as you. *Dustin opens his mouth and slobbers Dusty: AAHH! (Picks up NWA Heavyweight title and prepares to bash his son with it) Kill it! KILL IT!! Terri Runnels: Grampa please he's in a coma. Dusty: Coma? Pffft, why I go in and out of comas all the- (falls unconscious for a few seconds and wakes up) French toast please
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Jan 31, 2015 0:00:48 GMT -5
*The Shield secretly are back together after Roman wins the WWE Title*
Roman: Why not keep it at my house?
Ambrose: That's crazy. It's ours as much as it's yours.
Roman: How about this? Each one of us will get it for two days of the week.
Rollins: Wait a minute, that still leaves one day.
Ambrose: Yeah, what about that?
Roman: For that day, we'll use a random number generator. I'll take 1 to 3, Rollins will have 4 to 6 and Ambrose will take 7 to 9.
Ambrose: Wait a minute, what about zero?
Rollins: Yeah, what about zero?
Roman: In the event of a zero possession will be determined by Rock, Scissor, Paper.
Rollins: Okay.
Roman: Excellent. Well, today being my Saturday, I guess I'll be taking my title.
Ambrose: Nice try. It almost worked, but tonight the WWE Title stays here.
Roman: lf the title stays, then so do I.
Rollins: Me too.
Ambrose: Fine. We'll all stay with the title. It'll be like a sleepover. That's what pals do, right? Real friendly-like.
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Gecko
Grimlock
FAN Pyrite Member. Muahahaha
Posts: 13,093
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Post by Gecko on Jan 31, 2015 7:18:42 GMT -5
*Triple H is running away from an angry mob and locks himself in a room with multiple doors*
"Ahh, safe at last" *He notices a note stuck to one of the doors* "Caution: exit through door 7 only. All other rooms contain man-eating Tiger Masks" "Roman numerals? they never even tried to teach us that in development" *the mob pounds on the door* *Triple H uses his walkie talkie* Triple H: "Roman! what's 7 in roman numerals?" Roman: "I'll tell you Hunter, but you really should end each transmission with the word over. Over!" Luthor: "Correction: the only thing that's over is this transmission!" Roman: "Is this the untimely end of Reigns?" Luthor: "But Reigns is my name!" Roman: "I Thought I was the only one!" Luthor: "A pain I know only too well" Roman: "So this is what it feels like when doves cry."
Triple H: "Roman...? Roman! Now what do I do? I got it!" *he opens door 9 and a Tiger Mask springs at him and he slams it shut* Triple H: "I don't got it. Think Hunter, where have you seen roman numerals before? I know Wrestlemania V! that was the fifth one. So Wrestlemania V plus Wrestlemania II equals... Wrestlemania VII: Hogan's Revenge!"
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Jan 31, 2015 10:23:48 GMT -5
Vince: (to Bryan Alvares, who is about to buy a A Daniel Bryan figure) Hold it, son. Wouldn't you rather have an exciting action figure? Alvarez: Aaaah but Daniel Bryan only fits in my Prius-mobile. Vince: Ha-are you nuts? Roman Reigns fits in there perfectly. (Stuffs Roman Reigns into the Prius-mobile and destroys the latter in the process.) Look, he's fitting right now! Alvarez: (tearfully) AHHHH you broke my Prius-mobile! Vince: Broke? Or made it better? (turns to magazine rack and proceeds to swap WWE Magazines to the front while humming No Chance in Hell)
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
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Post by chrom on Jan 31, 2015 17:03:24 GMT -5
*As protesters and strikers commence on Titan Towers, Vince appears with a hose.
Vince: Full power Patterson!
*Patterson turns the knob and the water gushes out, but unfornuately its too much for the senile man to hold and he goes flying off hanging onto the hose as it sprays water all over.
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,137
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Post by chrom on Feb 2, 2015 19:44:56 GMT -5
WWE is hosting a Bachelor Auction, thus far all of them have not gotten a single bid and moved to the Rejects.
Doink: Our next Bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money, Let's hear it for Zack Ryder!
Ryder struts right out to disco music with a smile on his face and turns and sees zero response from the women in the crowd, without missing a beat he continues walking straight over to the reject section
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Post by RI Richmark on Feb 2, 2015 19:50:51 GMT -5
The McMahons travel to Raw:
Vince: And that's what's wrong with Bryan's generation. Now as for_your_ generation -- Triple H: [groaning] Ohh.
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Feb 2, 2015 22:47:48 GMT -5
WWE is hosting a Bachelor Auction, thus far all of them have not gotten a single bid and moved to the Rejects. Doink: Our next Bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money, Let's hear it for Zack Ryder! Ryder struts right out to disco music with a smile on his face and turns and sees zero response from the women in the crowd, without missing a beat he continues walking straight over to the reject section Ryder: do we really have to stand here like this? this is so humiliating!
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,137
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Post by chrom on Feb 14, 2015 0:23:30 GMT -5
Big Show is mistaken for Big Foot and taken by scientists.
Doctor: He is either a magnificent genius beast or a below average intelligence human
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Feb 14, 2015 9:23:36 GMT -5
WWE is hosting a Bachelor Auction, thus far all of them have not gotten a single bid and moved to the Rejects. Doink: Our next Bachelor likes women who take their clothes off for money, Let's hear it for Zack Ryder! Ryder struts right out to disco music with a smile on his face and turns and sees zero response from the women in the crowd, without missing a beat he continues walking straight over to the reject section Ryder: do we really have to stand here like this? this is so humiliating! Bayley: Aren't there any good bachelors in this company? Corbin: Aw, we're never gonna get that new NXT Hardcore Title.
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Post by EvenBaldobombHasAJob on Feb 14, 2015 9:27:54 GMT -5
Vince: Okay, man, here's the money. Now you give us the wrestling matches. Brock: (pushes off in the raft) That wasn't part of the deal! (laughs) Vince: (consults the contract) Hey, he's right! (to his glad-handing douchebag yes-men) Who wrote this?!
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CM Punk: John Cena, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others. Cena: Well howdy, Punk! (partition slides up) Thanks for dropping by! Triple H: Hmm. He's not responding. Proceed to level 2 antagonism. (partition slides down) Punk: Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. Cena: Oh, well, I'll just have to try harder. (partition slides up) Thanks for dropping by! Triple H: Ah, he's still repressing. Maximum hostility factor. (partition slides down) Punk: I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry!
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Daniel Bryan: Well, what should I do? Should I meditate? Should I get rid of all my possessions? Stardust: Are you kidding?! If anything you should get more possessions! You don't even have a computer.
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The Rock: Hi, Roman. You look like you've got something to say. Do you? Roman Reigns: Yes, I certainly do! (his voice changes to Triple H.) I have to go now. My planet needs me. ''(The cel with Roman Reigns on it is crudely moved upwards, as it then cuts to a title card reading, "Note: Roman died on the way back to his home planet.)
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Vince: Jim! You were supposed to be the OVW watchman! Jim Cornette: I was watching. First it started falling over — then it fell over. Vince: Wow... I wonder where all the E-jects are gonna go. [The rats are seen running out of the debris pile, across the street, and into TNA.] Dixie: [from inside] Okay, everybody tuck your pants into your socks!
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Feb 14, 2015 9:38:34 GMT -5
*Kevin Owens powerbombs Sami Zayn for the 100th time* NXT fan: Stop, stop, he's already dead!
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Feb 14, 2015 10:11:53 GMT -5
Ambrose: Well, Punk we're out of "Cena Wins" Era. So, what's next for the IWC favorites? The IWC Era?
Punk: Hmm. Well, actually it looks like we're in for 40 years of being burried.
Ambrose: Forty years? But after that, it's clear sailing for us, right?
Punk: Uhh-More or less. Hey, is that UFC?
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
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Post by chrom on Feb 17, 2015 17:42:21 GMT -5
*The Grim Reaper has come to claim Dolph Zigger's soul.
Dolph: Please don't take me! Take Ryder, we all know there's no happy ending there.
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
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Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Feb 17, 2015 21:11:47 GMT -5
*After one of the biggest ribs ever pulled on live TV Triple H is holding an all roster meeting, including NXT, Agents, etc*
Triple H: And walk this land I know one of you is responsible for this. So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to TNA where I will wrestle naught but boring-dull matches and shoot naught but stupid-idiotic promos.
Roster: Where untalented rejects will punch me in the back where my soul will be chopped into confetti and strewn upon a parade of IWC members and single mothers where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.
*Mizdow looks over at a Crow with Sting face paint out the window*
Mizdow: Miz did it! That Miz right there!
Miz: Mizdow!
Triple H: Mizdow, you did the right thing. Miz, come with me for punishment. *leaves but comes back* You too, snitchy. *grabs Mizdows arm*
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chrom
Backup Wench
Master of the rare undecuple post
Posts: 84,137
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Post by chrom on Feb 18, 2015 11:21:03 GMT -5
Following up on my Grim Reaper above
Ryback with ring bell in hand. This is for Owen and Snowball I! *Bashes The Grim Reaper with it and knocks its skull off killing it.
Paige: Ryback, you just ended Death. No one can ever die.
Ryback: Does that mean TNA will never be cancelled?
Paige: I guess...
Ryback: NOOOOO!!!
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
ededdandembed
Posts: 5,697
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Post by ededdneddy on Feb 18, 2015 12:37:42 GMT -5
Vince: If you like good food, good fun and a whole lot of crazy crap on the walls then come on down to WWF New York. At WWF New York we serve good, old-fashioned home cooking deep-fried to perfection. *watches the way a server serves the food* What a maneuver. *winks at camera* So bring the whole family- mom, dad, kids. Uh, no old people. They're not covered by our insurance. It's fun! And remember our guarantee. "If I'm not smiling when your check comes, your meal's on me-Vince McMahon!
Singers: Come to WWF New York, for family fun. It's good, good, good, good Good-good-good Mmm!
Fan 1: Sounds good.
Fan 2: Mmm! Hmm.
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Feb 18, 2015 13:50:09 GMT -5
Michael: So, Roman Reigns has won the Royal Rumble and is headed to Wrestlemania to face Brock Lesnar. John, would you say this is now the time for the WWE universe to turn on their neighbours, crack open their skulls and feast on the delicious goo inside?
JBL: Yes I would, Cole.
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FHgrad99
El Dandy
Never mind that s***, here comes Mongo!
Posts: 8,991
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Post by FHgrad99 on Feb 19, 2015 0:39:35 GMT -5
Jamie Noble: "Seth, hide your shame!"
Dean Ambrose: "Hey Rollins, I can see your doodle!"
Seth Rollins: "Shut up, Ambrose!"
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ededdneddy
Hank Scorpio
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Post by ededdneddy on Feb 19, 2015 1:10:56 GMT -5
Triple H: *walks into the lockerroom trying to act all easy going* Hey, I see you're listening to a podcast. Sounds like a good one. Any of you involved in any illegal activity? Cause I could sure go for some. How about you, Adam Rose? Testing, testing. Adam Rose?
Adam Rose: You saying you want to commit a crime, Hunter?
Triple H: Maybe, but first I need to hear about some other crimes to get me fired up.
JBL: You mean like the time you hired Rikishi to run over Steve Austin?
Lawler: Or when you buried Booker T's career and hinting it was cause your a racist?
Triple H: Uh, like those, but involving you.
Fandango: Oh. You mean like the time Kane mounted and defiled a corpse in a funeral home casket?
Triple H: Kane?! That was me!! And I'd do it again.
Darren Young: Why stop there, Hunter? My militia has a secret plan to beat up all sorts of anti-gay government officials. That'll teach 'em for acting all high and mighty on high definition TV!
J&J Security: You're under arrest for conspiracy! *take Darren Young away*
Rybqck: Hey, how did they finger Darren? Somebody must've ratted him out!
Triple H: Oh, that's ridiculous, guys. End transmission. *leaves the locker room*
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