"Ladies and Gentleman.... MY NAME IS
PAUL HEYMAN.
"And it is the greatest privilege to serve as the advocate, to the reigning, defending, undisputed heavyweight champion of the world, the slayer of Santa Claus, the WWE Universe, and more, much more, MY CLIENT........
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!"
"It is with our deepest sympathies to announce that YES - You lynched the WRONG person.
"YES. The the person you did lynch was actually in fact very, very, very, damn innocent.
"YES. He WAS the Town Doctor. It was Erick Rowan for crying out loud, a hillbilly in a sheep mask who's career is turning into a complete and utter failure.
"YES. Your dreams, your fantasies, your Christmas Wish of a Christmas Miracle, of saving that FAT OLD GEEZER IN A STUPID RED SUIT and finding his attackers, has ALSO ended up as complete and utter failure.
"You know who isn't a failure? FAAAAARRR From it?
"NOT
EL TORITO that's for sure. The BULL was taken out last night at the hands of a BEAST. BROKEN by a BEAST. DISMANTLED by a BEAST. TORN APART PIECE BY PIECE BY PIECE AND DEVOURED LIKE THE PIECE OF BEEF THAT HE IS BY THE BEAST.
"
EL TORITO had Santa's list and everything, he could check it not once, not twice, but however many nights he darn well pleased, he was pretty much YOUR Town Cop, but he still wasn't able to do a damn thing about us. He could not stop MY CLIENT.
"To be honest, I had some remorse. Starting out this plan of ours, was simply running over Santa with my limousine - YOU CAN'T EVEN AFFORD ONE SO SHUT UP LOSERS - it was meant to get rid of Santa and this Christmas nonsense, because I am PROUD JEW. Bray Wyatt and the Big Show were my guys, but they were simply PAWNS in the larger picture. If you all had just let it go, let the JOLLY HOLLY LARDASS, just kick the bucket then
BROCK LESNAR wouldn't have had to hurt every single one of you, like he had to. - BUT ladies and gentleman, MY CLIENT Disagrees!
"In fact,
BROCK LESNAR, reassures me that he had no problem doing what he did to each and every-one of you. I merely helped manipulate every-one else of you, you know why? Because I'm SMARTER than you all. Which is WHY
BROCK LESNAR, considers me the perfect associate, as he CONQUERED THE ENTIRE LOCKER-ROOM BACK THERE.
BROCK LESNAR ENJOYED CONQUERING EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO STOOD IN
BROCK LESNAR'S way.
"JBL, CONQUERED!
"WILLIAM REGAL, F-5'd and CONQUERED!
"THE ENTIRE NXT LOCKER-ROOM, DECIMATED AND CONQUERED!
"BO DALLAS, CONQUERED!
"LUKE HARPER, GERMAN SUPLEXED AND CONQUERED!
"RUSEV, LANA, FANDANGO, ROSA MENDES, ADAM ROSE, THAT BUNNY... CONQUERED, CONQUERED, CONQUERED, CONQUERED, CONQUERED, CONQUERED,!
"FANDANGO EVEN HAD HIS ARM BROKEN MMA STYLE, COURTESY OF
BROCK LESNAR!"
"Emma, that Christmas Grinch, tried taking advantage of our conquest by robbing everyone. She wasn't a direct threat to us, but BROCK LESNAR CONQUERED HER ANYWAY! Just because he felt like it.
"I already mentioned the sheep and the bull, but as mentioned earlier, they were eaten alive BY THE BEAST INCARNATE himself"
"Need I go on? AM I FORGETTING SOMEBODY?"
"OH THAT'S RIGHT. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect. The Doctor of Thuganomic, the Role-model to children everywhere, the leader of the CENATION.
JOHN CENA.
*
Brock Lesnar grins*
"BUT YOU CAN'T SEE HIM? YOU KNOW WHY?
JOHN CENA, the Superman, who always wins. The man who survived, lived, even FLOURISHED through two situations similar to this Christmas takeover by MY HEYMAN GUYS. Fittingly, UNTOUCHABLE every-time he participated in these things, both as a good Samaritan and even when embracing the hate. Seems like he could never be stopped!
"Well - ladies and gentleman.... THE UNCONQUERABLE ..................
SPOILER!!!!!!
*
Brock Lesnarstarts laughing, shoulders shaking slightly*
"Conquered! I SAID CONQUERED! You heard me, but just in case you didn't, I'll say it slower and louder: I SAID HE WAS COOOOONNNNNNNNQQQQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEDD!
"- THUS, THUS - putting an end to your dreams of a Christmas miracle and Santa from granting that magical Christmas wish, of bringing back every WWE Superstar who fell onto the injured list, as a result of these 'games'.
John Cena, finally, Broken IN HALF, By the CONQUEROR himself ...
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!"Happy Holidays everybody."
*Heyman drops the mic*
Mr. McMahon wakes up in a cold sweat.
Vince: I just had an odd dream, that Santa had been attacked by Paul Heyman in a Limousine, and Emma was prowling around stealing from everyone, to the tune of "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
Linda: Don't be silly. That was nearly four months ago. It's March now, dear.
The End.
WWE Injured List:lodirulz: John Bradshaw Layfield - Vanilla Townie, (Lynched Day One)Triple H buried SnS: William Regal - Town NXT GM [Inventor], (Night-killed Night One)Fake Jesus: Bo Dallas - Vanilla Townie, (Lynched Day Two)Nicholas CageKing The Snorlax: Bray Wyatt - Mafia Roleblocker, (Modkilled Day Two)Jazzman: Luke Harper - Vanilla Townie, (Night-killed Night Two)Hank Moody: Rusev and Lana - Town Double Voters, (Lynched Day Three)Hawkeye Kennedy McFAN: The Big Show - Mafia Goon, (Lynched Day Four)Jonathan Michaels: Fandango - Vanilla Townie, (Night-killed Night Four)"The Architect" Waffel113: Adam Rose - Town Roleblocker, (Lynched Day Five)Tetsuo: The Iron Tyger: Emma - Survivor Grinch/Thief, (Night-killed Night Five)Mr. B Natural: The Bunny, Justin Gabriel - Vanilla Townie, (Lynched Day Six)RKTaker: Erick Rowan - Town Doctor, (Lynched Day Seven)Double Heart: El Torito - Town Cop, (Night-Killed Night Seven)Produceman: John Cena - 2-shot Bulletproof Townie, (Endgamed)Survived:
MasonK565: Brock Lesnar + Paul Heyman - Mafia Strongman [Innocent Read starting Day #5, when all other mafia members were eliminated]Winners:
Mafiacageking666Hawk HartMasonK565Not Winners:
TownJazzmanDub HFake JesusBrandon Walsh is Insane.Jonathan Michaelslodirulz MrBRulzOKNo Longer a ProducemanRKTakerTriple H buried SnSWaffel113Third Party "Survivor"@irontyger
Thank you all for playing.
Aftermath Thread is here:
officialfan.proboards.com/thread/519814/winter-holiday-mafia-aftermath-thread