TNA The Office Quotes Thread

[Ganon83]

Inspired by this:

Jan 13, 2015 13:13:55 GMT -5 Brood Lone Wolf Funker said:

Even Stevie Wonder could see that 2014 sucked for TNA. Dixie is Michael Scott levels of incompetent

Dixie: So, Sting got hired to WWE where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in TNA, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So, who is the real winner, the dog or a fish?

[Brood Lone Wolf Funker]

Bobby Roode: Should have burned down this place when I had the chance

[Push R Truth]

Tommy Dreamer: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon—sue me—and since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay sixteen strips of bacon out on my Hulk Hogan Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.

[hossfan]

Dixie Carter: Listen up! Come to the center of the ring, please. This... is a Dixie Dollar. When you have done something good, you will receive one Dixie Dollar. One thousand Dixie Dollars... equals an extra five minutes for lunch.

Samoa Joe: What is the cash value of a Dixie Dollar?

Dixie Carter: Excellent question, Joe. One one hundredth of a cent.

AJ Styles: So ten thousand of your dollars is worth one real dollar?

Dixie Carter: You just zip your lid!

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

*Why TNA lasted as long as it did on Spike*

Spike Executive: Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Dixie from running plastic tubes all over the office and placing hamsters inside of them. She was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe her one.

[SpillBeans316]

*Addressing an upset locker room, following the main event of Victory Road 2011*

Dixie: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know, I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time on Twitter chatting with our fans. Occasionally, I'll let a drugged up talent go out to the ring in order to have our scheduled main event. So sue me, NO don't sue me. That's the opposite of the point I am trying to make.

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

Samoa Joe: I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

[Push R Truth]

Tommy Dreamer: I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They always complain. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?



Hulk Hogan: Oh I don't think it's blackmail, jack. Dixie just does what I ask her to do so I won't tell everyone that she's cheating on Serg with Russo. I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter... brother.

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

Dixie: As it turns out, you can't just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. They have to hit rock bottom. So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Jeff Hardy to the bottom. Um. I think I can do it. I did it with Scott Hall.

["Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay]

AJ Styles: That's a nice desk.
Russo: It's a replica of Uday Hussein's.

["Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay]

Kid Rock: So Vince comes up to me and asks me to play Wrestlemania. I say okay, sure, I'll throw in some covers. He says no, we want you to play all originals. I say are you sure? My originals are terrible. He says that's okay. And I think, oh I get it, it's an ironic Wrestlemania.

["Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay]

I know that was WWE but I had to do it.

[Lancers]

Dixie: "I....DECLARE....BANKRUPTCY!"

[KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!!]

*During his last year of being employed at TNA*

AJ Styles: You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? Impact is like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.

[lionheart21]

Been a few years since he's been employed by them, but:

Jim Cornette: If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Vince Russo, I would shoot Russo twice.

[jp49er80]

THAT IS A TWO THOUSAND DOLLAR A WEEK WRESTLER YOU JUST KILLED!

(To AJ, maybe?)

[r.]

Dixie: I.D. badges are long overdue. Security in this company is a joke. Last year, I came to work with Rock star spud in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a wrestler that could honestly get a better pop than most of the roster. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

[Deleted]

I

DECLARE









BANKRUPTCYYYYYYYYY

-Jeff Jarrett, 2002.

[Brood Lone Wolf Funker]

Kurt Angle: "I love working at TNA, a division of Taliban enterprises."