Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 2:09:33 GMT -5
I've had this in mind as a little private joke for a long while now and kept meaning to make a thread about it but just never getting around to it. So here it is.
By far my favorite thing about Bray is how, with the way he does promos, you can make literally f***ing anything sound like something he'd say if you put in enough random repetition, random shouting, some chuckling, and namedrops of John Cena. Some examples.
"Oh, John, do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? THE MUFFIN MAN, JOHN CENA! Hahaha... Oh, John, do you know the muffin man, that lives on Drury Lane?"
"Now this is a story, John... THIS IS A STORY all about how my life got... flipped, haha, turned UPSIDE DOWN JOHN, and I'd like to take a minute, so just sit RIGHT THERE, I'll tell you all about how I BECAME THE PRINCE of a town called Bel Air."
"When you go to the store, John Cena, don't forget to GET SOME MILK! Hahaha... I've been out for THREE DAYS, JOHN. And I only... Haha... I only drink two percent, John."
Yeah, dumb thread, I know, but it amuses me.
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Post by revolver86 on Mar 7, 2015 2:11:30 GMT -5
That last one is the best. Legit LOLZ, on my part.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 2:20:39 GMT -5
"Hahaha people man...you can catch me...skating through your town...putting it down...y'all relating! No waiting, I'll make your block infrared hot...I'm like Satan!!!!...y'all feel a man's struggle, y'all think a man love to....hahahaha....hustle behind the wheel, man, trying to escape my trouble? And kids, the kids John...stop...they greeting me, I'm talking sweet to keys. Cursing the very God that brought this grief to be hahaha....my life is based on sacrifices, jewels like Isis and fools that think I slip! You f*** around! You get your guys hit! They built me!! To be filthy on some I-do-or-die shit! For real John!! The price of leather's got me...deeper than ever hahaha!!! Just think man...Winter's here, I'm trying to feel mink....hahaha."
*Bray drops mic*
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Post by EoE: Well There's Your Problem on Mar 7, 2015 2:27:23 GMT -5
"Hey, John Cena... There were promises made across this desk... PROMISES, man! Haha... and you mustn’t tell me you’ve got people to see... PEOPLE TO SEE? I put thirty four years... haha... THIRTY FOUR YEARS into this firm, John! And now? Now I can’t pay my insurance! John... haha... you like oranges don't you? You know you can’t eat the orange and throw the peel away, man... A MAN IS NOT A PIECE OF FRUIT, JOHN!"
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Post by Next Level was WRONG on Mar 7, 2015 2:35:41 GMT -5
"JOHN CENA! This is the story of a girl.... who cried a river... and drowned the whole world. But whilst she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love... her...
...when she smiles."
*HA HA HA HA HA*
*Serious face*
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Post by CATCH_US IS the Conversation on Mar 7, 2015 2:39:22 GMT -5
"JOHN CENA! This is the story of a girl.... who cried a river... and drowned the whole world. But whilst she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love... her... ...when she smiles." *HA HA HA HA HA* *Serious face* I was about to do that one. Good job sir.
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Post by Oh Cry Me a Screwball on Mar 7, 2015 2:44:33 GMT -5
This reminds me...of a story about another GIANT, hahhah. Can I tell you a story....Big Show? It goes a little something, hahaha like this. Once upon a time, hahaha, in a land FAR far away, there was a little boy named BRAY WYATTT. And Bray Wyatt...he had magic beans. And those magic beans sprouted a giant BEANSTALK. So....little old Bray...HE CLIMBED THAT BEANSTALK, and would you like to know....what he found? He found a goose that lays golden eggs...a magical harp...and a whole pile of golden coins, but OH NO, THERE WAS A GIANT PROTECTING ALL THAT TREASURE, so Bray Wyatt said..."screw the treasure, hahahaha, I'm going to kick this giant square in the mouth" WHAM-BAM-THANK-YOU-M'AM, the giant's teeth is down his...throat. And as the giant was picking himself up, Bray, he prepared for the fight of his life, hahahaha. But the poor little giant, hahahahaha, he walked away all cowardly, PROVING HE IS THE ONLY LOSER IN THE ENTIRE...KINGDOM. And that whole part about being a loser, hahahaha, yeah I'm talking to you pal. FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS.
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Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
Celestial Princess in Exile.
Posts: 46,149
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Mar 7, 2015 3:03:12 GMT -5
I've had this in mind as a little private joke for a long while now and kept meaning to make a thread about it but just never getting around to it. So here it is. By far my favorite thing about Bray is how, with the way he does promos, you can make literally f***ing anything sound like something he'd say if you put in enough random repetition, random shouting, some chuckling, and namedrops of John Cena. Some examples. "Oh, John, do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? THE MUFFIN MAN, JOHN CENA! Hahaha... Oh, John, do you know the muffin man, that lives on Drury Lane?" "Now this is a story, John... THIS IS A STORY all about how my life got... flipped, haha, turned UPSIDE DOWN JOHN, and I'd like to take a minute, so just sit RIGHT THERE, I'll tell you all about how I BECAME THE PRINCE of a town called Bel Air." "When you go to the store, John Cena, don't forget to GET SOME MILK! Hahaha... I've been out for THREE DAYS, JOHN. And I only... Haha... I only drink two percent, John." Yeah, dumb thread, I know, but it amuses me. ...sadly, this, all of it put together, actually sounds like a legit singular Wyatt promo. Man, f*** that dude.
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Allie Kitsune
Crow T. Robot
Always Feelin' Foxy.
Celestial Princess in Exile.
Posts: 46,149
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Post by Allie Kitsune on Mar 7, 2015 3:14:20 GMT -5
"I want you to listen to me, John Cena! John, oh John, I saw the sign... haha. I SAW THE SIGN, JOHN! AND IT OPENED UP MY EYES! I _SAW_ the sign! Haha, Life is demanding... OH LIFE IS DEMANDING JOHN! WithOUT understanding, John Cena. NO ONE! Haha, John, No one's GOING TO drag you up TO GET into the light where you belong, John, haha..."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 5:26:18 GMT -5
"Picture it, John Cena! Sicily, 1912, John! A beautiful young PEASANT GIRL... Hahaha... A peasant girl with clear, OLIVE skin, John, meets an exciting but PENNILESS Spanish artist, John. There is an instant attraction, John - AN INSTRACT ATTRACTION, JOHN CENA. They laugh, John, and they sing, they slam down a few boilermakers, John. Shortly afterward, he is ARRESTED, haha, for showing her how he can hold his palette without USING HIS HANDS, JOHN. WITHOUT USING... his hands, hahahaha. But I digress, John. He paints her portrait... He paints her portrait and they make PASSIONATE LOVE. She spends much of the next day, haha, in the shower, John, with a loofa sponge scrubbing his fingerprints off her body, John Cena. She sees the portrait and she's insulted. It looks NOTHING like her, John. She storms out of his life forever, hahahahaha.... John, that PEASANT GIRL was ME. And that painter, John... That painter was Pablo Picasso, hahahahaha..."
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Post by thelonewolf527 on Mar 7, 2015 5:32:05 GMT -5
"Hey John, watch me do, watch me John, what I do. LAYING DOWN A PERFECT GROOVE JOHN CENA. I'm liquid smooth with Gucci shoes John. And the ladies know that I'm the man. I AM THE MAN TO FREE YOU FROM YOUR SUFFERING JOHN CENA. But you, you're just old news John. You're a wannabe who'll never be Bray Wyatt. Never be anything but born to lose John. And even worse when I arrive, THERE'S MORE BAD NEWS JOHN"
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Post by Tyrannosaurus Sex on Mar 7, 2015 7:16:22 GMT -5
"Man... People always told me be careful of whatcha do, and don't go around breaking young girls' HEARTS! AND MAMA ALWAYS TOLD ME... be careful of who you love And be CAREFUL of whatcha do 'cause the lie becomes the truth! Billie Jean is not my lover... She just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my-Wait, this ain't right... You see how messed up this world really is? Follow...the buzzards. I'VE GOT THE CHEESE!"
*DEH*
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Woo
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 5,301
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Post by Woo on Mar 7, 2015 7:44:30 GMT -5
"The Brood has initially not spoken out of their own choice, but then it was FORDIDDEN HAHAHA... Forbidden by the Undertaker. But now we have guidence, Guidence to SHOW US the way and that was the Undertaker.... But the Undertaker's feelings were not the same as ours HAHAHA...But in the darkness we seek a much different light... We live our collective lifestyles for WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE BELIEVE IN... and the sssssearch for the mystery of life and the here and after and THE POWER is what we seek is in all of us and we just have to UNLEASH it HAHAHA."
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Post by "Gentleman" AJ Powell on Mar 7, 2015 8:29:24 GMT -5
"John, please, please tell me WHY, my car is in the front yard? And I am SLEEPING, with my clothes on? Why John, did I come in through the window last night, only to find that you, John Cena are gone, gone.
It's no surprise to me John, that I am my own, MY OWN, WORST, enemy. Because the thing you need to realise John boy, is that every now and then, hahaha, I kick the living hell out of me!"
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Mar 7, 2015 8:58:56 GMT -5
I've had this in mind as a little private joke for a long while now and kept meaning to make a thread about it but just never getting around to it. So here it is. "When you go to the store, John Cena, don't forget to GET SOME MILK! Hahaha... I've been out for THREE DAYS, JOHN. And I only... Haha... I only drink two percent, John." . There's an easy way to remember what you need to get from the store John. Just repeat to yourself: LOAF OF BREAD, CONTAINER OF MILK, STICK OF BUTTER. Can you remember that for me? LOAF OF BREAD, CONTAINER OF MILK, STICK OF BUTTER.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 9:26:51 GMT -5
Bray Wyatt is the best joke character the WWE has ever had.
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Post by Kayfabe FAN don't want none on Mar 7, 2015 12:55:08 GMT -5
"Hehehehe.... From this moment on John, FROM THIS MOMENT, THIS WILL BE THE MOMENT JOHN.... The moment that will start it all John... This will be the beginning, John.... Of the genesis of Bra..."
"AXELMANIA!"
"Wait wha..."
*~SHAH~!*
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Mar 7, 2015 12:57:12 GMT -5
This thread is f***ing perfection.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2015 13:26:12 GMT -5
Hahaha John.....if skills sold, truth be told ....Hahahah man....I'd probably be....hahaha...lyrically Talib Kweli...truthfully I want to rhyme like Common Sense....hahaha maaan.
<derp>
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Post by Ecks Ecks Ringout Ecks Ecks on Mar 7, 2015 13:41:25 GMT -5
First they LOVE YOU, John Cena ... and then they don't.
Sometimes they DO IT, John Cena ... and sometimes they won't.
So I said to this girl, John ... hahaha ... hey, you GET OUT! And she got to her feet ... and began to SHOUT ... "you're a jive soul bro." A JIVE SOUL BRO! And you ALWAYS lie to your friends!
You're a jive soul bro, John. A jive soul bro.
And you'll never ... get NOTHING ... in the end.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*DEH*
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