Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 28,885
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Post by Sephiroth on Mar 28, 2015 19:45:12 GMT -5
Delivered a long monologue about the joys of staying single How often do you get drunk? I'm Irish and German. Three strikes and your out.
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ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,773
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Post by ERON on Mar 28, 2015 22:46:09 GMT -5
When my brother and I were in our early twenties, we got hammered at a Christmas party and were flirting pretty hard with these two girls. One of them ended up giving my brother her number. Thankfully, it didn't get any further than that because we later found out that not only was one of them underage, they were cousins of ours. Not one of my finer moments.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2015 23:01:29 GMT -5
At my old job one time a few of us planned on staying at the warehouse and having a few beers after work. I ended up getting absolutely trashed on a combination of Carlo Rossi and Colt 45. I drove the half hour home out of my mind, going 100 on the freeway and weaving through traffic, basically yelling WOOOOOOO! and honking my horn and swearing at everyone. The last thing I remember was driving about 60 through a 35, polished off the bottle of Carlo and heaved it out the window so it shattered on the street. Then, I woke up and there was somehow Taco Bell in my room and my mom was crying. I guess she tried to see if I was okay when I stumbled inside and I told her to f*** off and other things.
That's not even weird, just generic psycho-boy stuff. I've never felt like that sense, it was that combination of cheap shitty alcohol that brought out the demons.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Mar 28, 2015 23:38:55 GMT -5
I was at a party and it was starting to wind down. I had been drinking for a lonnnng time that day talking to this girl most of the night. I'm in the kitchen talking to my buddy I'm like I think this chick is into me but I don't know. My buddy who is also very drunk gives me the advice often given on this forum. meh just whip it out. So later I'm out on the deck talking to this girl and in my drunken stupor I decide it's a good idea to take my buddy's advice. So I whip it out the girl looks at it and goes uhh no I zip it up and walk home. told my buddy his advice sucked. He was like holy shit! I can't believe you did that. I was like pretty sure the whiskey made me do it.
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Post by Ishmeal Loves Kaseyhausen on Mar 28, 2015 23:46:30 GMT -5
Went to a house party at a neighbors of one of my best friends (my friend and I were underage at the time. The host and everyone else was of age). The popo came, luckily we live in a small town and my friend's dad was able to talk them into letting us quiet things down. Fast forward a few hours and pitchers of beer later (they ran out of cups, so pitchers had to do) I hit on the hosts' wife. He asked me to leave. I walked around to the front of his house, and inside, sitting on the couch with some kids around my age who were not as stupid as I and watched music videos until he came in and threw me out again. Wandered back to my friend's house, found him passed out on someone's front lawn. We staggered to his house and hit the sack. Ate pancakes the next morning. That was dumb. Threw them up 15 minutes later when my friend was bringing me home.
Random thought: the party was the night before SummerSlam 2001. I remember going to another friend's house still wicked hungover. Heh.
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Post by Malibu Stacy on Mar 29, 2015 0:41:56 GMT -5
According to my bf, I once put my underwear on his head and screamed "Smell my sins!"
Much funnier, I used to know a guy who whenever he got blitzed, he became convinced he was Batman.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2015 5:11:19 GMT -5
I spent an entire night talking like Bane from Dark Knight Rises.
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Evil Homer
Hank Scorpio
I am Evil Homer, I am Evil Homer.
Posts: 5,377
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Post by Evil Homer on Mar 29, 2015 6:11:54 GMT -5
I was at a strip club in AC , my cousin went outside to make a call . About 30 mins later a bouncer came up to me and said your friends been kicked out , we called the cops on him . I stumbled outside called my cousin he didnt answer , so I called the hotel we were staying , my cousin was in the lobby talking to the attendant - I spoke to my cousin he said he's going to bed . It was only 2 am so I stayed alone at the strip club , drinking and getting lapdances . The place closed at 630 , by that time I was hammered , stumbled outside. Got a cab and told him take me to the hotel , instead I ended up at a shady massage parlor . Got a bad massage ( my first getting massage , I still knew it was not good ) I was offered 'services' I declined , Started telling " therapist " you should be in church right now , she just gigled and said ok thank you . Im not a christian btw , I dont know where the church line even came from . I finally got back to the hotel around 8 am & had $750 in pocket . I started the night with $200 , & I wasnt gambling at all
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Mar 29, 2015 8:32:16 GMT -5
I casted Chris Pine As Captain Kirk. I'll never forgive myself...
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pegasuswarrior
El Dandy
Three Time FAN Idol Champion
@PulpPictionary
Posts: 8,748
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Post by pegasuswarrior on Mar 29, 2015 12:44:14 GMT -5
All things to be very proud of yourselves for. Keep winning at life.
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ICBM
King Koopa
Didn't know we did status updates here now
Posts: 12,288
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Post by ICBM on Mar 29, 2015 12:55:39 GMT -5
I was stationed at the infamous Osan air base in south Korea for six months. Osan has a nickname: "The mother ******* World Cup of Drinking". I won't bother with full stories just bullet points:
Stole a bar tender
Stole a freshly ordered beer, burning cigarette,fancy Zippo and a fresh pack of Marlboro lights right out from under this guy while he chatted up a Russian call girl
Did the senton splash into the bed of a security police truck, gashed my back from ribs to hip on a laid over sign when I landed
Woke up in Seoul (started the night in Taegu, no memory)
Maxed four credit cards...one 30hr bender
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2015 13:41:44 GMT -5
When my brother and I were in our early twenties, we got hammered at a Christmas party and were flirting pretty hard with these two girls. One of them ended up giving my brother her number. Thankfully, it didn't get any further than that because we later found out that not only was one of them underage, they were cousins of ours. Not one of my finer moments.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2015 13:58:53 GMT -5
I thought of a new one, I feel like there's sadly too many stories I can contribute to this, but whatever, it's college. So, one night, a couple of friends and I were going to a frat party, and I had something like 20+ shots of vodka in the span of just over an hour, BEFORE we left the house. Our DD couldn't pick us up at our house for some reason, and could only pick us up from the campus. We ended up getting to the campus on the bus. On the bus, I recorded a video on my phone (it was supposed to be for a friend in a different state, who I hadn't seen in a while, and I was telling them how much I missed them), which I accidentally sent to my dad. Then once we got to campus, our DD said he was going to be late. It was freezing, so my friends were trying to find an open building for us all to get into, and I ended up running away from them, I don't remember it too clearly, but according to my friends, I tried to run up one of the stairs at our campus, tripped and then fell over the side of it. My friends retrieved me and took me inside one of the open buildings. One of the campus police saw me tripping, realized I was blitzed and underage, and came over to talk to us, he wanted to take me in, but my friends managed to talk him off, I don't know how. In the building, I once again got loose and proceeded to run around. This time when they found me, I was looking at my own reflection in one of the windows and saying "I'm a pretty pretty man, damn, I'm really pretty". Anyways, they took me back to the entrance cause our DD was getting close. At that point, I decided to take a nap, and I thought I passed out. According to my friends though, they dragged my ass into the car, we went to the frat party. I was just sort of drunkenly standing in the corner for a while, not talking to anyone. Then I said I felt sick, so one of my friends ended up taking me outside, I apparently tripped and fell over. Some girl came over to help, and again, according to my friends, I said this to her "Oh f***. I'm so embarrassed right now. You don't understand, you're stunning. No, you're gorgeous, and I'm too f***ed up to appreciate it." Anyways, at that point my friend realized he should probably get me home. The DD took us home, while he was taking me back into the house, I apparently slipped on a patch of ice and took a back bump on the side of the street. My friend got me inside the house and I immediately jumped on the couch. He tried to get my shoes off and according to him, I kicked him into the wall (he kicked me for this the next morning). I don't remember any of this by the way. I just remember waking up the next morning on the floor of my living room, my head feeling like someone had hit me with a steel chair, my back was sore, I was burping up cheap vodka and I was super thirsty. Before that night, I could drink vodka straight up with no problem. I still drink vodka straight up, but now everytime I smell it, I have an involuntary reaction of wanting to puke.
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Sephiroth
Wade Wilson
Surviving
Posts: 28,885
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Post by Sephiroth on Mar 29, 2015 14:19:44 GMT -5
I casted Chris Pine As Captain Kirk. I'll never forgive myself... Good, me neither.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on May 7, 2015 16:59:21 GMT -5
Messaged five single Facebook friends (girls) about meeting up. Polite messages, no dick picks or anything lol. I'd never do it again though. It just seems too creepy. Although one actually got back to me so it wasn't all bad.
I know, I know #humblebrag and all that, but it's what happened.
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Post by bigjohnsons on May 7, 2015 17:30:16 GMT -5
I once started dancing on a car in a suit
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Hanzo
Dennis Stamp
"You want Cena to go to ECW?!"
Posts: 4,666
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Post by Hanzo on May 7, 2015 17:46:09 GMT -5
I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.
Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
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Post by rapidfire187 on May 7, 2015 18:02:38 GMT -5
My friends have come up with a drunken dice game. It's called "Bitch Out". The rules are simple. When it's your turn, you pick a number 1-6 then you come up with a dare and assign it to someone. If the dice lands on the number you picked, the person has to either do the dare or bitch out. If they bitch out twice, they have to choose between the two dares they bitched out on or they lose the game.
The only rules are that dares can not involve yourself or people outside the game. They also can't involve physical harm. You can involve multiple people in a dare as long as they're in the game.
I've done some pretty ridiculous things because of this game and I don't even always win. Off the top of my head I have:
done a naked cartwheel...outside...in December.
Shaved my face completely. *shudders*
Let my friend shave my pubes in front of people.
Judged a contest between two girls. I won't say what I had to judge them on, but it was great for me!
Some of the things I've witnessed because of this game include:
My friend sticking an ice cube up his butt.
Lots of nakedness.
Someone snorted crushed cayenne peppers.
Analingus ...
Yea...Bitch Out is sending us to hell.
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Post by KAMALARAMBO: BOOMSHAKALAKA!!! on May 7, 2015 18:45:15 GMT -5
I once started dancing on a car in a suit Guten tage heir Jackson!
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Post by Non Banjoble Tokens on May 7, 2015 18:57:00 GMT -5
I've never been drunk.
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