I'm going to post my experience for last night here, because about 90% of what I saw would fit under this category. Forgive the long-winded post.
Last night, our nearby high school had "ARW" live pro wrestling as a fundraiser so they can get new marching band uniforms. Since my two teens attend said-school, I decided to go and support. They went with me, although my son sat with his friends. That's fine. My daughter sat with me. There's concessions, there's two dorks selling WWE elite figures. They represent the comic book store a couple of towns over. I think they know nothing of wrestling pre-Attitude Era.
(These are the guys I told you all the story about how they always get in wrestlers coming through the area - Abyss every 2 months - to sign autographs and push their local show. They had Al Snow once, so I told them how he started by attending a tryout hosted by Gene Anderson. They looked at me like I was from another planet, they're like "Gene Anderson?!" They were shocked I knew more about wrestling than they did, but they are idiots and think they know everything, so I don't waste my time or money on them.)
Anyway, show starts. Out comes this group of 3 guys. They're called "The Family". The leader is about 5'4" and 120 pounds. He's the guy with the mic, and he cuts a promo like he's JC Ice after he took his medication for Tourettes. Another kid is with them who is the Colby Corino of the group. And there's a big bald biker guy with them. He calls out the guy wrestling for them, and he's roughly the same as the other big bald biker guy. (Picture Bastion Booger as a bad-ass biker gimmick, that's this guy.) His name is Ivan Manson, who was a big name in the old Windy City Wrestling era here. (Can't tell you if it's the same guy.)
Here's his opponent. Oh wait, here's the manager for the opponent. He looks like Silent Bob. He's got a baseball bat. He introduces Brutus. Brutus is a dead-ringer for Bane from the Batman movie; mask and everything.
Match #1 is kinda clunky. Ref (he looks like freakin' Jerry Jarrett, I wish I was kidding) gets distracted way too easily. Guy with baseball bat does nothing but bitch to the referee that the other guys are cheating. (YOU GOT A BASEBALL BAT! GO OVER THERE AND LAY WASTE TO THEM! IDIOT!) Ivan Manson wins when other big bald guy "sneaks in" and hits a spinebuster while the referee is
distracted by Not-So-Silent Bob turns around just as the spinebuster is being done. And he counts the pin anyway. What a bunch of crap.
(My son texts me: "Why is Bubba Ray Dudley fighting Bane?" I text back: "Why is guy with baseball bat not using it?")
Match #2, a triple threat match. There's this dude called "The King Of Old Style", "Dancin' " Dick Davis. He's a mix of Alex Wright and Alex Riley. (King Of Old Style doesn't have a beer with him. Minus 5 stars. He just killed his gimmick.) Daughter is mortified to see a male stripper gimmick. "I didn't pay for this." Next comes out a local guy from Hammond. He looks like the Miz wearing a green Power Ranger outfit. (MAKE IT HAPPEN, WWE! THAT'S MONEY!) He looks like he might be good. Then the third guy is supposedly coming back to this little promotion after being in TNA and other indies. It's Diamond Steel Ryan Howe, who had stints on Tough Enough, TNA Gut Check and OVW...Tracey Smothers trained him. He comes out...looks like Randy the Ram doing a Van Hammer gimmick. He plays the guitar for 10 minutes, I shit you not. (Son texts me: "Someone must not be here yet.")
Another mess of a match, Kevin Graves (the Miz-looking Power Ranger) got a good chant going. This time the finish was Dick Davis winning with his feet on the ropes WHILE THE F****** REFEREE WATCHES HIM DOING IT! DAMN THESE REFEREES ARE AWFUL!
(Son texts me again, twice: "GO GO POWER RANGER", "Look, it's blonde [Heath] Slater.")
Match #3 about to start. Okay the "owner" of this promotion comes out. Damn this guy looks like Michael PS Hayes. But Michael wouldn't be caught dead wearing off the rack suits like this. And a straw cowboy hat. And he talks up the fundraiser. And has a cute girl with him, with one of those pom-poms the band uniforms wear on the hats. (Picture psycho Mickie James with open plaid-shirt, red cami-top, short denim shorts and blue fishnets. I tell my daughter next to me "Those are the new band uniforms? I overpaid.") Okay, so a kid in the band models the uniforms. They're pretty sharp. Money well spent. Michael BS Hayes keeps talking about some stuff. (Son texts: "Imma beat up this 4 year old behind me, i swear." I text back: "He's 7 rows behind you" He texts back "IKR".) Damn can this guy stop talking already? (I text son the picture of Michael Cole from NXT3 holding the sign "Stop the pain".)
Oh thank God here's a wrestler. Short Latino guy, looks like Albert/Tensai/Matt Bloom after a tumble in the dryer. And he's wearing pink...oh no he didn't. And he sways his hips. Daughter wants to leave. Here's another Latin guy looks just like the first one. Has an airbrushed singlet with MEXICO on it. Carries Mexican flag. (Nothing says "pride" like dragging the flag on the floor. Asshole.) I guess Matt Bloom and Hernandez had a tumble in the dryer on high heat. Apparently this is a former tag team that split up. This is "loser leaves ARW".
Match isn't awful (a first tonight). Pink guy has a chain in his trunks. Shows everyone, sticks it back in his crotch. Reveals it to the other side, puts chain in his mouth. (Yuk!) They fight some more. Something happens to the referee to where pink guy takes chain and sticks it in opponent's kneepad. Gets hit with back suplex. Ref counts 3. Ref senses something up, finds chain in kneepad. (HOW THE F*** DOES THE REF SEE THE CHAIN WHEN HE DIDN'T SEE IT BEING STUFFED IN KNEEPAD TO BEGIN WITH?! DAMN THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!) Michael BS Hayes says the ref's decision is final. I'm ready to just leave. (If this wasn't a school, I'd start a BULLSHIT chant. This is terrible.)
Match #4 another triple threat match. First guy is...well he's "Rough Crossing" from Montana. Looks like Justin Hawk Bradshaw if he was 200 pounds. We cheer him, he says he don't need our cheers. Good, I won't waste my time. Next guy has purple and pink tye-dye singlet. Looks like Rick Steiner when he had the crewcut. Nice look. Third guy announced "from Merrillville Indiana, representing the Scumbag Army". (I DON'T CARE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE, "SCUMBAG ARMY" SOUNDS LIKE MY KINDA PEOPLE.) He looks like Bray Wyatt if he was as tall as Luke Harper cosplaying as Bruiser Brody. (Oh shit, "not so silent Bob with the baseball bat" is with this guy. Go away.) This is the first guy who was getting ANY kinda pop from this crowd, and he "HUSS"ed all match. "Bruiser Bray Harper" is pretty good. Rough Crossing takes off his blanket parka and hat...dude wearing a biker vest and he looks like Baron Corbin, same hairline and everything. I start laughing. Match ends in a triple count out. (That's a first. never saw one of those before.)
Intermission. (Thank God for small miracles. I need a break. Daughter and I get a pop and a Gatorade. $3. Nice. Son ran to ringside for some reason. He might be main-eventing...I'd believe it. He got a selfie with Justin Baron Corbin/Rough Crossing. "It's always high noon somewhere." That's cool. Wrestlers are very approachable and nice, even the heels.)
Match #5 starts. Oh wow, they have a title match. Tag titles. Here's two guys called the New School. They're wearing hoodies and motorcross face masks. They look tough like that. Oh damn, one took off the mask and hoodie and is premature balding. (I didn't know Ole Anderson wrestled here.) Other guy is another Miz knock-off. Here are the champions. Johnny Showtime and Michael Portrait. They're known as..."The Picture Show" (LOL now that's cute.) Picture ECW's Public Enemy (as the hoodies) doing a version of the Tyler Breeze gimmick, you have these guys. Pretty good match. These 4 act like they've wrestled in front of people before. Nice heat on the champs. Heels steal a tag belt, hit a guy with it. (I wasn't watching if the ref watched him do it, but wouldn't put it past them at this rate.) New champions.
Oh hell, BS Hayes was right there. He calls for a restart, he's not letting what happened in the loser leaves match to happen again. Picture Show win in like 30 seconds. I stand and clap. Johnny acknowledges me and points.
Kids and I get the heck out of there. I can't take no more. Apparently they had 2 more matches but I just couldn't. These referees don't know their ass from a hole in the ground; takes me right out of the matches.
I'm glad the school got a lot of money. This wrestling group has its good and bad. Never saw Power Ranger Miz, he was the guy that impressed me most. I wanted to shake his hand. I'd probably watch another show like this. $10 for 2 hours of entertainment is okay.