|
Post by cageking666 on Jun 20, 2016 15:13:43 GMT -5
I wanted a Hypnosis title shot
|
|
No Longer a Produceman
Dennis Stamp
Will Make You an Offer You Can't Refuse
Evolving into Geckoman
Posts: 4,367
|
Post by No Longer a Produceman on Jun 24, 2016 16:12:40 GMT -5
I wanted a Hypnosis title shot This x1000 I'm so glad I found this thread. Been laughing my ass off.
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jun 26, 2016 22:35:48 GMT -5
November 27th, 2016 The Impossible Nati’ [56%]
I was pretty bummed about losing Chris Cryptic but my crappy mood soon disappeared when it came time for the show and I saw 62 folks in the building. Our biggest crowd EVER!!! It shows that our little company is really growing. Unfortunately, they came to see what can generously be described as a “B-show” card for us (which might as well be a Z-level card for most promotions) but hey. I already got their money so tough titties if they don’t like the show. Match #1 Earl Huffington III & Scyther vs. Hypnosis & Tenryu Inokii
For those that follow the NNW stars on social media, Huffington flipped a bitch over getting pinned by Hypnosis last month and demanded to get the dime store luchadore in the ring on the next show. Thus, this match was made. I’ve haven’t used Scyther in a while and I was reminded why here as he stunk up the joint. In particular, he had an exchange with Hypnosis at one point which was some of the worst shit you’ll see anywhere. Tenryu was no better as he had some cool power stuff to offer but almost seriously injured Huffington after dropping him on his head on a Suplex attempt. The rich snob let out a very audible “be careful, you shit-head!” in frustration which the announcers tried to sell as being in-character somehow. In Huffington’s defense, I’m pretty sure “be careful, you shit-head” is a lesson from the Bible. The match mercifully came to an end as Inokii planted Scyther with a Dominator before Hypnosis came off the top rope with a Moonsault. [-*]- Before his upcoming match with Jimmy Moore, Christian Slater cuts a promo burying his opponent, saying that it’s horribly un-American for Moore to be deaf. “You can’t even hear our national anthem, you commie bastard!” He also buries Nikki Alderton for “dressing like a harlot” and making American women look like “tramps.” What, titties aren’t American? I think you need to check your priorities, brah. The fans couldn’t care less about Moore but they stay thirsty for Nikki so Slater gets plenty of boos. [62%]
Match #2 “Sweetness” Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) vs. Christian Slater
It’s time for the return that nobody wanted, Jimmy Moore! He’s back after getting murked by Ryan Eagles a few months ago. Don’t worry, though. He’s just as awful as he was before he disappeared. To his credit, the match was going ok until Moore went for a Springboard and ended up tripping up on the ropes, landing face-first on the mat to laughs from the crowd. From there, the match totally fell apart. The only heat came from Nikki pounding on the mat and trying desperately to rally the fans behind Moore. Slater tried to save the match but no matter what he did, the match just kept getting worse and worse. Faint “end this match” chants grew louder before Slater decided to take the match home and hit the Cradle Piledriver for the win. After the match, Slater tried to continue the beatdown on an unconscious Moore but Nikki jumped in front of her man and stuck her arms out in an effort to protect him. It looked like Slater was gonna go after her but Michael Diablo hit the ring before he could do anything. Confronted with a fresh Diablo, Slater decided to fight another day and left the ring. Nikki thanked Diablo for his help before going to tend to her murked client. [-*]Match #3 “Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Mista Steal Yo Girl” Marty Scrull
Neither of these two have had the best of luck in Season 2 so far in terms of their W-L record so both were looking to turn it around here. Thankfully, after two disastrous matches, we finally get a decent match. Stylez is no ring general but he knows how to work a crowd and his “kicky-punchy” style provided a good contrast for Scrull’s high-flying babyface stuff. As Scrull was going for a charge in the corner, Stylez managed to move out of the way and roll the ladies man up. Unbeknownst to the ref, he’s got a big ol’ handful of tights and gets the three count! Scrull pouted in the ring in disappointment as Stylez walked to the back, letting everybody know that he still wanted his rematch for the NNW championship. [½*]Match #4 Marshe Rockett (w/ Acid Jaz) vs. “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles
Not gonna lie, this match is pretty random and serves as a way to get these guys on the show more than anything. Despite it’s randomness, the performers involved worked their asess off and put together a really good match by our standards. Although Rockett got a rare chance to shine in singles action, it was Eagles that was the real star as he destroyed Rockett with a combination of strikes before nearly sending his head into the back row with a Yakuza Kick in the corner. The Headlock Driver that followed was academic. Good win to re-establish the Aussie Assassin. [*¼]
- Like your drunk uncle showing up to embarrass you at your high school graduation, here comes Jay Knox with some Jack Daniels in hand. It’s kinda hard to hear what he’s even saying as he’s slurring his words big time. Eventually, the fans start chanting “shut the f*** up!” which leads to Knox becoming infuriated and telling the crowd to EAD. “You people need to put some respect on mah name!” Suddenly, the fans started cheering and Knox doesn’t realize why until he’s tackled to the ground by Scotty Swift! Two months ago, Knox smashed a bottle of JD over his former friend’s head and Swift wants some revenge. The old man rains down punches on Knox until the drunkard rakes his eyes and escapes through the crowd, running out the door and all the way out of the building. Swift runs after him as the announcer decides it’s a good time to send the show to an intermission. Much hotter angle than I was expecting. The crowd was super into this. [62%]
Match #5 Adam Page vs. Chase Owens
The fans in the Nasty Nati were introduced to another new character this month as Chase Owens made his debut. He’s decked out in an orange karate gi in that looks exactly like Goku’s gear in Dragon Ball Z. He even does a “Kamehameha Wave” motion with his hands to a pop from the crowd. What a nerd. This guy’s a regular on NWA shows and is actually a member of the Bullet Club over in NJPW. He’s also a pretty great in-ring talent and proved it here by having a fantastic match with Page. Both guys made it clear that they are on a different level than 90% of our roster as they went through went through intricate chain wrestling sequences. The match was so good that I’m kinda sad that I didn’t give it more time as Owens suddenly locked Page in a Cross Armbreaker that drew the instant submission. The finish caught fans off-guard but they quickly got over their shock and gave both guys a standing applause as Owens offered his hand as a sign of respect. Because he’s a douche, Page blew him off and promised that he’d get his win back some day. [**¾][new best match in company history~!] Match #6 NNW Championship “The Apex of Agility” Andrew Everett vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
It’s main event time in the Great Miami Event Center as two of the most popular men in the company faced off with the Nati’s most prestigious gold on the line. This match suffered from two problems. One, it had a super unfair task in having to follow the previous match. Two, it was between two babyfaces meaning that fans weren’t really invested in who won the match match and cheered for the moves more than anything. All that aside, this was still a really strong main event as Hart tried to use his technical expertise to ground the challenger. Best believe that Everett got his shit in though as he soared through the sky with ease and got a couple of nearfalls, even scoring with a Blockbuster ala Buff Bagwell. Shout out to the Buff Daddy, he’s still alive apparently. Anyhoo, Everett’s high-flying backfired here as he ended up Springboarding right into a Schnozbuster 83’(Double Knee Facebuster). That’s enough to put this one to bed. [*¼]
- After the match, Andrew Everett and Michael Hart share a respect hug. Suddenly, the lights go out in the building. When they come back on, Devil’s Advocate are beating the piss out of the babyfaces! Scar is clearly the one directing traffic as the heels toss Everett through the announce table conveniently located at ringside! In the ring, Hart takes a lead pipe shot to the head, putting him out of commission. Scar grabs the NNW title and raises it high in the air before dropping it on the champ, making it clear that he wants a title match next month. [57%]
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jun 27, 2016 1:01:37 GMT -5
December 2016
Something that kinda gets lost when people talk about being a wrestling promoter and putting shows together is the relationships that you create with the people you work with. For some folks on our roster, I’ve been working with them for over a year now. I’m not just their boss, I’m also their friend. Of course, I have to keep it professional and I’m quick to snap off if somebody tries to test my authority but I care for every worker that appears on NNW shows. Even Hypnosis, who I hated for the longest time, I’ve grown somewhat fond of. His hot sister certainly helped in that regard but the guy’s not half-bad if you get to talk to him. That being said, there are certain workers that I’m closer to than most and Shawn Stylez is probably at the top of the list. What can I say? He was technically the first NNW wrestler ever booked on our shows and we have a ton in common. As the company continues to grow and I’m forced to create actual storylines instead of just throwing a bunch of goobers to dick around for a couple hours like I used to, I find that I’m becoming more cautious about what I book. It was starting to become a monthly ritual that I go over to Shawn’s house (which was really his grandma’s house), we eat some grub, and discuss future booking plans together. He may not look it but he actually does have a really good mind for the business and offers solid advice a lot of the time. When I walked into Shawn’s living room, I saw that he was sitting on the couch watching some porno. I wish I could say that this was surprising but it really wasn’t. Magic: Why does it seem like you are always watching porn whenever I come over here? Shawn: Helps the creative juices start flowing, brother. You want to get a feel for how to book half-naked people grappling? Watch some full naked people boning. They’re more closely related than you think. Yes, Shawn is one of the only people on earth that can genuinely say he watches porn for the artistic value. Magic: If you say so. Well, I just got finished putting together the card for this month’s show and I wanted to get your thoughts on wow, is that chick really about to bang both those dudes at once? Shawn: She sure is! Talk about workrate. As I watched the girl get boinked by two dudes, my mind went to a number of places. Particularly, two words kept popping in my head. Tag teaming. Tag Team. Tag. Team. ...I need to create some tag team championships! Holy crap, Shawn was right. This stuff really does get the creative juices flowing! And some other juices as well but that’s neither here nor there. Magic: Dude, I just got a great idea. Next month, Nasty Nati crowns it’s first ever tag team champions! We can have the entire Janurary show centered around it. Shawn: Dope. What about this month’s show though? Magic: Oh yeah. Check this out.
December 18th, 2016 NNW Presents… Long Live The Nati’
MAIN EVENT NNW Championship “The Angel of Hate” Scar vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
Michael Hart has served NNW proud as it’s inaugural champion ever since winning the Nasty Nati’ Classic back in August. He’s had some of the best matches in company history against Andrew Everett & Adam Page but this month, he faces arguably his greatest challenge to date. Scar has been on a tear ever since falling short of winning the Nati’ Classic due to a draw with Chris Cryptic. Scar’s a dangerous competitor under any circumstances but in recent months, it seems like he’s been even more unhinged than usual. He’s going into this match with nothing to lose and everything to gain.And of course, wherever Scar goes, one would have to think that the rest of Devil’s Advocate isn’t far behind. Can Hart hang onto his title or will Scar mark his place in history by becoming the second ever NNW Champion?
Grudge Match “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. Scotty Swift
Knox has always loved a drink or three but over the past few months, he’s seemingly been in a perpetual alcohol-induced rage. Gone is the fun-loving drunk that fans loved to cheer for and in his place is a bitter man that uses women as human shields and attacks his friend from behind. Swift tried to talk some sense into Knox but ended up taking a trip to the hospital for his efforts. Now, Scotty has one thing on his mind. Revenge. This one promises to be a wild encounter where both guys will bring the hate. Chase “Flash” Owens vs. “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles
Eagles received a NNW Championship match in September but was unsuccessful in his attempt to dethrone Hart. He’s looking to gain another opportunity at the title but standing his way is NNW newcomer Chase Owens. After an impressive victory against Adam Page last month, Owens looks to continue his winning streak this month. He calls himself “Flash” in reference to his signature Cross Armbreaker submission that he claims he can slap on in a “flash” and force his opponents to tap. This could be a sleeper pick for MOTN.
Three-Way Tag Team Explosion!!! Da Soul Touchaz vs. Marty Scrull & Andrew Everett vs. Devil’s Advocate (Slash & 2-Face)
Do you like tag team wrestling? If so, you’ll love this match! Three teams collide in a one fall to finish 3-way match. Nothing but pride and the ability to flex for the gram is on the line here but that’s not gonna stop these competitors from going at it. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo vs. Adam Page
Both men were on the losing end of their last match and will try to right the ship here. Not much else to say about it. Magic: Now, how’s that for a bit of fried gold? Shawn: Not bad, man. Now, be quiet. The money shot’s coming up and that’s always when I get my best ideas.
|
|
|
Post by cageking666 on Jun 27, 2016 2:23:41 GMT -5
I'm shocked the porn didn't lead into a Hardcore Championship
|
|
Brainbustaaah!
Hank Scorpio
Best Damn Finishing Move Period
Posts: 5,600
|
Post by Brainbustaaah! on Jul 4, 2016 15:27:31 GMT -5
Long Live The Nati' indeed.
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jan 17, 2017 3:48:17 GMT -5
Long Live The Nati’ [54%] December 18th, 2016
Let’s start with the good news. A very respectable crowd of 55 people had showed up for the Nasty Nati’s last show of the year. I was hoping for a bit better but still, it’s one of the biggest crowds we’ve ever had. Here’s the bad news. Bitch ass Andrew Everett decided to take a booking with CMLL in Mexico on the day of this show so he’s not here. In fact, Everett texted me earlier today to let me know that he wouldn’t be able to wrestle on any of our shows going forward due to his busy schedule. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the Apex of EAD now. Thankfully, due to the connections that Scrull has made wrestling in the UK, I was able to get a suitable replacement. Let’s get it on, daddy. - The show started off with Steve Jackson hyping up the night’s card when suddenly, “HE’S A HU-MAN TORNADO!” blared over the speakers. No way. It...it can’t be. As it turns out, it can be as a large chunk of our fans lose their shit as The Human Tornado strolls out from behind the curtain. The turn up is strong as Tornado dances in the crowd before getting handed the mic. The P-I-M-P lets the fans know that NNW management had decided that Nasty Nati needed an on-screen authority figure to to represent the brand and “make the crackas in suits” happy. Apparently, they could think of no better person than Tornado. He thanks all the fans for coming out tonight and tells them to enjoy the show before heading to the back. Well, that happened. [65%]Because I believe in spoiling our fans (or maybe forgot to put a match on the Facebook post advertising this show but shhh), they get an unadvertised match to start off the night’s action! Match #1
“Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. El Blanco Negro Dragon
Guess who’s back. Back again. “Stylish” Shawn Stylez is back. Tell a friend. Before the match, he cuts a promo saying it’s “disgraceful” that NNW Management would put their “top star” in a curtain jerker against some ham-and-egger nobody had ever heard of. Stylez says that he’s going to “exterminate this ugly lizard” and reminds everybody one more time that he wants a shot at the NNW Championship. Stylez’s opponent didn’t even get any music, he just casually walked out to the ring after Tornado left. Hailing from North of the Border, Negro Dragon was decked out in black and white gear with a mask resembling that of, what else, a dragon. You’re not gonna believe it but we had a shitty opener. Negro Dragon actually has some pretty cool looking high spots but he’s absurdly sloppy. Lots of blown spots here including Negro Dragon nearly killing himself by landing ribs first on a guardrail on an attempted Plancha to the outside. Stylez had to stall for ages as Dragon sucked wind on the outside before dragging himself back in the ring. If he wants that Ovaltine, he better keep working even if his ribs are broken like a Hardy. The finish came out of nowhere as Negro Dragon hit a Moonsault off the turnbuckle onto a standing Stylez. He cradles Stylez for a pin and gets the three count! What an upset!!! An ecstatic Dragon bails from the ring and celebrates his win on the outside as Stylez throws a temper tantrum in the ring. [-*]Match #2 Three-Way Tag Team Match Da Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett) vs. Devil’s Advocate (2-Face & Slash) vs. Marty Scrull & Mark Haskins
Goddamn, I was lucky that Scrull’s buddy Mark Haskins was booked for a show in Cleveland this weekend and was willing to come in as a replacement for that jabroni mark Andrew Everett. All six men do their best to wash out the nasty taste that last match left by putting on a fun spectacle that was all action. It really dawned on me in this match how far we’ve come in the past 16 months or so as I couldn’t even imagine putting on a match of this quality when we first started. Everybody looked solid-to-good here but the big story came at the finish as 2-Face accidentally struck his own partner on a mistimed double team. As Slash rolled outside the ring, 2-Face took a Running Knee from Haskins before being placed in Scrull’s Crossface Chicken Wing and being forced to tap out! After the match, Slash did NOT look happy at his partner’s screw-up and made sure to let him know all the way up the ramp as he yelled at him. [*]- Michael Diablo looks to be all business as he heads to the ring for his upcoming match against “The Star Maker” Adam Page. As he warms up in the ring, however, it’s not Page that comes out but instead... Nikki Alderton? What’s she doing out here? Asking for the mic, the scantily-clad blond thanks Diablo for saving her and Jimmy Moore from that d-bag Christian Slater. Diablo tries to be modest but Nikki says that she REALLY wants to let him know how much she appreciates his help last month. The thirst buckets start whistling but Nikki isn’t trying to see his bedroom ceiling yet. She wants to be in his corner for his upcoming match! “YES!” chants ring out in the Great Miami Event Center encouraging the Suplex Artist to accept as Diablo thinks for a few seconds. Finally, he agrees to let her be his second! The thirst buckets are happy as they know have some eye candy to look at during the upcoming match. [51%]
Match #3 “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo (w/ Nikki Alderton) vs. “The Star Maker” Adam Page
Very good match by our standards here although the story was pretty basic. Diablo ran wild to start off the match with some Suplexes before being cut off by a thumb to the eye that was unbeknownst to the ref. Page beat on Diablo for a long time (probably a bit too long if I’m being honest but eh). After nailing Diablo with an Enziguri, Page takes time to yell at Alderton, telling her that a woman has no place at ringside. “This is a man’s sport!” As it turns out, Alderton’s presence at ringside was key as that brief pause in the action was all Diablo needed to recover and start mounting a comeback. A couple of Suplexes later (including a Deadlift German that got the crowd buzzing), he finished off Page with the Diablo Slam. After the match, Nikki and Diablo share a “platonic friends” hug to celebrate the victory. [*]- Earl Huffington III is out now. Over the past couple months, the rich snob has hit a bit of a rough patch in his career, losing not once but twice to the dime store luchadore Hypnosis. He quickly makes his intentions known as he asks for Hypnosis to come down to the ring so they can have a chat. Within seconds, Hypnosis comes down to the ring with his big homie Tenryu Inokii backing him up. Huffington, in a very uncharacteristic move, actually congratulates Hypnosis on his recent victories and says that he’s been very impressed by his adversary. Earl says that after last month’s loss, he took a good, hard look in the mirror. He realized that if he wanted to be able to best Hypnosis, he was going to have to train hard, study tape, and put more energy into perfecting his craft than he ever had. “Then I realized, why do any of that...when you have money?” BAM! A mysterious masked man just jumped over the guardrail and attacked Hypnosis from behind. Tenryu tries to help his buddy but the man spits green mist into his eyes! Tenryu rolls on the floor in agony as Hypnosis tries to get back on his feet only to be hit with a brutal Capoeira Kick while he’s on his knees. All the while, Earl Huffington has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face before leaning over Hypnosis’ fallen body. “I’d like to introduce you to Zumbi, the best luchadore that money can be buy. He’s also the man that is personally going to run you out of Nasty Nati Wrestling for me! Muahahahahaha!” [50%]Match #4 “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. “Too Legit” Scotty Swift
This one has grudge match written all over it. A few months ago, Knox smashed a bottle of Jack Daniels over Swift’s head when Swift was only trying to help his friend. The usually jovial Swift is back now and he’s looking for a piece of Knox’s ass. Pause. Anyway, this match is wild from the get-go as both men start swinging to set the tone. At one point, Knox teased a dive to the outside while Swift was dazed but stopped at the last second to pose in the ring and flip off the fans that wanted to see a flippy-doo. Swift isn’t gonna leave our fans disappointed, however, as a few minutes later, with Knox on the other side of the guardrail with the fans after getting nutted on the barrier (ouch), Swift did a sorta crappy plancha onto Knox from the top turnbuckle! Keep in mind Swift is the oldest dude on the roster by a good margin and yet he’s still willing to do shit like that. That’s why I f***s with dude. The crowd heat remained strong after that but there really wasn’t much substance to the rest of the match. They brawled and they brawled and they brawled and they brawled and they brawled before referee Ash took a bump. Knox tumbles through the ropes to the outside from a Dropkick and Swift, wanting to stay on the offensive, quickly rushed after him. Big mistake as he was almost immediately greeted by that damn bottle of Jack Daniels crashing over his head! Unconcerned by the hoe ass stunt he just pulled, the Drunken Fox casually tossed Swift back into the ring where a groggy Ash counted the pin. Say what you will about Knox’s recent bitch-made nature but it’s undeniable that it’s brought him some in-ring success. [½*]
Match #5 Chase “Flash” Owens vs. “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles
The penultimate match of the evening features two of the best in-ring workers in NNW. Eagles is coming off a win against Marshe Rockett at the last show while Owens is coming off an impressive debut against Adam Page. Only one man will leave here with something of a streak going though. I can’t say I’m surprised but this match ended up being excellent by our standards. The action was mat-based for the first few minutes until Eagles managed to yank off Owens’ orange gi top and threw it in the crowd. “I hate Dragon Ball Z, you f***ing nerd!” That seemed to get Owens all fired up and in an instant, the match intensity went up a notch. Several times, Owens tried to go for the Cross Armbreaker that he claims can tap anyone out but each time, Eagles is able to escape. When Eagles gets a chance to hit his Headlock Driver, however, there’s no escaping for Owens as he gets drilled head-first into the mat and gets handed an L. Impressive showing by both men, honestly. [*½]Match #6 NNW Championship “The Angel of Hate” Scar vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
IT’S MAIN EVENT TIME~!~!~! In his final match in the Nasty Nati Classic, Scar fought Chris Cryptic to a draw. That draw happened to open the door for Michael Hart (who Scar actually defeated earlier in the tournament), who won his match that same night and later went on to defeat Shawn Stylez to become the first NNW Championship. Ever since then, Scar has been chomping at the bit to get a crack at the championship, especially since he was never actually pinned or submitted in the tournament (his only loss was a result of a forfeit due to injury). His opportunity finally comes tonight. There was a very clear styles clash in this one as Hart continually tried to wrestle his usual, methodical pace but Scar was intent on making the champ uncomfortable, giving him no time to rest and being relentless with his unpredictable offense. Realizing that he was likely going to lose his championship if he didn’t switch things up, Hart decided to wrestle Scar’s kind of match and gave out his fair share of licks with stiff strikes. The champ, to his credit, held his own for a while but was eventually caught off-guard by a Headbutt. Lariat! Scar hooks the leg but Hart kicks out at 2! Clearly getting frustrated by this point, Scar tries to muscle Hart up for the Brainbuster but the champ wiggles his way free. They exchange holds for a minute, countering whatever the other had planned, before Hart manages to score with the Schnozbuster 83! He crawls on top of Scar. One Two NOO! Even the fans are a bit shocked that wasn’t enough to put The Angel of Hate away. Hart still has one more trick up his sleeve though. The Sharpshooter. He grabs Scar’s legs but Scar is fighting like a mother to stay out of the deadly hold. Finally, Scar actually pulls himself up and BITES Hart’s fingers to get him to let go. With both men up, they clearly don’t have much in the tank after this nearly 20 minute war. So, they just start slapping the shit out of each other with open-hands to the face. This goes on for a full minute before Scar connects with a Backfist! He hooks Hart for the Brainbuster but Hart reverses it into a Small Package roll-up... for THREE!? Boy, our fans look PISSED about the abrupt ending to this one. I knew I had to do a not-so-decisive finish here to set-up future shows but yikes, I was not expecting this much of a fan backlash. The ultra-popular Hart actually gets boos as Steve Jackson announces him as the winner. A couple fans even start throwing trash into the ring. Not surprisingly, Scar is furious at losing to such a simple move and lays out Ash before he can give Hart his title. He goes after Hart but the champ ain’t no hoe and he’s right there to trade hands with Scar. It’s a crazy scene as security rush the ring in a desperate attempt to separate the two men. The show ends on a rather anticlimactic note with security holding both men back and probably more than a few fans feeling like they got screwed out of their money with that finish. Good main event overall but yeesh, this was not my finest moment as a booker. [¾*]
Well, that’s another calendar year in the books for Nasty Nati. Outside of the main event, I’m pretty happy with how the show went. And, for those that were upset by the main event, I only have one thing to say. I already got your money, marks.
|
|
Brainbustaaah!
Hank Scorpio
Best Damn Finishing Move Period
Posts: 5,600
|
Post by Brainbustaaah! on Jan 19, 2017 17:07:42 GMT -5
I want a refund! Give me back my $5 in Monopoly money! Failing that, give me a slot on Creative!
|
|
|
Post by ellsworthfan on Jan 26, 2017 15:10:26 GMT -5
I would've threw my cup but you were offering free refills
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 7, 2017 0:11:33 GMT -5
January 2017
Well, the ending to last month’s show can politely be described as a shit show. NNW fans were heated and made sure to let me know it. A long “BULLSHIT!” chant erupted in the building for several minutes after the camera had went off. It got so bad that I had to hop on the mic and inform the crowd that they didn’t have to go home but they sure as f*** couldn’t stay here since we only had the building reserved for another 30 minutes or so. I told the fans that they could send me a text to let me know how unsatisfied they were at the show. Little did those marks know, the number I gave out was actually Ash’s. Poor kid has gotten at least three death threats. I can ignore the cries of those jabroni marks that don’t get this business but I can’t ignore the fact that we’ve lost money for the past two months now. ...Oh, did I forget to mention that earlier? So yeah, turns out producing DVD’s of our shows, even on a small scale, is kinda expensive. Goddamn it, why does everything have to cost money? Freaking capitalist society. Anyway, I can’t allow my bands to get too low so I had to cut off some of the fat of our payroll. For example, after thinking about it, we really had no use for two announcers. After a coin flip, Steve Jackson was sent his “pink slip” text. Brian The Production Guy was also told to hit the bricks as Ash was “promoted” to have his duties include taping and editing our shows. When Ash why he wasn’t given a budget to work with and had to use his own money, I told him not to worry about grown folk business. It’s been a stressful month, tbh. I keep feeling like I forgot something though. Hmmmm… Oh my f***ing JBL, I totally forgot to book this month’s show. We had the Miami Event Center rented out for the 29th of this month but, less than a week before the show, we haven’t even set up a Facebook event for the show! How do I get out of this? I can’t let people think I’m incompetent, I care too much about my clout. This was gonna take some genius idea. And by genius idea, I mean an idea I totally stole from another company. A Tribe Called Untitled II: Shout Out to Phife Dawg Date: January 29th, 2017 Location: Great Miami Event Center When: Idk, around 8 or so??? Description: This show is gonna be a vibrant thing. You might even see Bonita Applebum. ...Nah seriously, this month’s card is a secret that isn’t known by anybody but Magic himself. He did promise that it would feature a major announcement that would change Nasty Nati Wrestling forever!~!~!~! Tickets are on sale for $20 each. That might sound pricey but come on, don’t be a pussy. Just take a risk and buy the tix.
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 21, 2017 20:03:11 GMT -5
A Tribe Called Untitled II: Shout Out to Phife Dawg [56%] January 29th, 2017
Needless to say, doing such a gimmicky show was a gamble at best and an incredibly stupid stunt at worst. I was fully expecting to see a crowd that was on par with the crowds of 10-15 people that we drew in my backyard when we were first starting out. I was more nervous than a ho in church. So, me in church basically. The day of the show, I began drinking at about 10:00 am. So, by the time my Uber dropped me off (don’t drive after drinking, kids) at the building at around 8 PM, I was pretty turnt up. Imagine my surprise as I stumbled into the building and saw that 80 f***ing people were waiting for the show to start. A huge jump in attendance from our last show and easily our biggest crowd ever! I smacked myself to make sure this wasn’t a dream and then smacked Ash to make doubly sure. Even after last month’s debacle, all of these people were willing to buy a ticket. ...MARKS. Anyway, time to get NNW’s first show of the new year underway~!
- This month’s show started with a promo by Devil’s Advocate. Still in a foul mood over last month’s main event, Scar was full of venom as he DEMANDED that Michael Hart come out and give him another shot at the title tonight. “For one night, you were able to sneak away with that title but I promise you that I won’t let that happen again.” Backed by 2-Face & Slash, Scar set up a chair in the middle of the ring and not-so-patiently waited for the champ to make an appearance. Instead of Hart, it was NNW Commissioner The Human Tornado that came out from behind the curtain. Possessing more swag than is legal in the state of Ohio, Tornado informed Scar that after much deliberation, he agreed that Scar should get another title opportunity tonight. “Just not the NNW Championship.” While Tornado acknowledged that Scar would receive another NNW title match next month, Scar was gonna be competing for a different piece of gold tonight. “Becky! Samantha! Come on out here!” Two baddies that were dubbed as the TornadHo’s by the commish came out, each one carrying a replica WWF tag title belt. Tornado proudly announced that tonight, “Nasty Nati Wrestling will crown it’s first ever Tag Team Champions!” The P-I-M-P explained that there will be three tag matches tonight. The winners of those matches will move on to a three-way ladder match with the titles hanging overhead. Whichever squad pulls down the titles will make history. “The Lost Souls will be one of the teams competing tonight and their match is right now!” Scar, while not necessarily pleased at his NNW title match having to wait until next month, couldn’t complain too much about possibly having two sets of gold by the time March rolls around. [56%]Match #1 The Lost Souls (Scar & Slash) (w/ 2-Face) vs. Hypnosis & Tenryu Inokii
Tonight’s opener featured the most experienced unit in the company taking on NNW’s ultimate underdog, Hypnosis, & his big homie Tenryu. Hypnosis does have a bit of history with The Lost Souls (having competed in a brutal six man tag war against Devil’s Advocate back at the Anniversary show) and it shows as he brings the fight to both Scar and Slash with a fire that’s rarely been seen in the dime store Luchadore. Despite that righetous babyface fire, this match sucked a cock. God bless the guy but Tenryu can't do much of anything outside of a few power moves. As a result, Hypnosis has to work most of the match and you already know that was a shit show. Scar & Slash are no ring wizards but they do all they can to salvage the match by playing to the crowd and bumping like crazy for Tenryu as he ran wild following a hot tag. The fans were into Tenryu as he drilled both men with vicious bodyslams but his momentum was stopped dead by a rake to the eyes while attempting to lift Slash up for his TKO finisher. A couple of Superkicks brought the big man to his knees before Slash connected with a Running Knee that smashed right into Tenryu’s jaw. Scar put on the finishing touches with a Leg Drop from the top rope and covered Inokii for three. To the surprise of...nobody, the Lost Souls are moving on to the title match! [-*]- We were supposed to have another tag match but instead, Jay Knox stumbled out from behind the curtain with his trusty bottle of Jack Daniels in hand. He clearly had something to say as he snatched the mic out of Jason Douglas’ hand but before he could say a word, he was bombarded with “SHUT THE f*** UP!” chants from the NNW faithful. It’s weird, Knox was always popular as a face but he’s become a heat magnet since turning to the dark side. Knox bantered with the crowd for a bit, slurring his words heavily, before letting them know that somehow, he had received a NNW Championship match later tonight. He promised to win the title and that’s the bottom line because Jay Knox said so. “Yeah, I stole Stone Cold’s catchphrase. What’s that bald bitch gonna do about it?” Boy, I hope Austin doesn’t bury us on his podcast next week. [60%]Match #2 Da Soul Tocuhaz (Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett) vs. Huff Inc. (Earl Huffington III & Zumbi)
After the rotten opener, we needed a solid match to get the show back on track and these four men were kind enough to provide us with it. If you love high spots and no-selling, this is the match for you. I think the most selling anybody did during this bout was the vendor moving food and drinks at the concession stand. While Da Soul Touchaz have the clear experience edge, Huffington & Zumbi have enough individual talent to keep pace with them. The finishing sequence had nothing to do with skill, however, as Zumbi blinded Jaz by blowing green mist in his face! Ash was...tying his shoe or something. Idk, it’s rasslin, of f***ing course the ref didn’t see the illegal action. Anyhoo, Huffington took full advantage of his blinded foe by planting him with the Wayward Destroyer (Canadian Destroyer) for the win. [*]
Match #3 Adam Page & Ryan Eagles vs. Chase Owens & Marty Scrull
Well, this is a bit different than the previous tag matches. While those bouts featured one experienced duo vs. a relatively new pairing, this match features two teams that have never teamed together before tonight. FUN FACT: Scrull was actually supposed to be teaming with Mark Haskins but a few days ago, he injured his ankle working a show in the UK. It’s nothing major but it has put him on the shelf for a couple of months. So, Owens had to take his place. The Ladies Man Marty Scrull appears to be a polar opposite to the nerdy, DBZ-obsessed Chase Owens but they seem to like each other well enough. On the other side of the ring, Adam Page & Ryan Eagles are both nasty rudos but they can’t seem to stand each other. Begs the question of why they are paired up but shut up, booking is hard. During the match, it becomes obvious that Owens & Scrull actually blend very well together as a team. Page and Eagles, however, just couldn’t get on the same page. Lots of bickering between the two as the match goes on, hindering their ability to sustain any kind of offense. After force-tagging his way into the match with a stiff slap to the back of Eagles, Page goes for a Lariat on Owens. He clearly wasn’t expecting Owens to avoid the move and somehow manage to twist his way into the Cross Armbreaker! An immediate tap out followed and Owens & Srull secured the final spot in the main event ladder match. From a pure in-ring standpoint, this match was pretty fantastic by our standards. [**]
Match #4 Christian Slater vs. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo (w/ Nikki Alderton)
Building off last month’s angle, Nikki Alderton accompanied Diablo to the ring for this match and stood in his corner. Ever the uptight dillhole, Christian Slater tried to slut-shame Nikki on the mic, calling her a “millennial sperm bank” but he ends up getting slugged in the jaw by Diablo before he can go any further. I don’t know if the boys were feeding off the big (by our standards, obviously) crowd or what but this ended up being another really good match. It’s pretty different than most matches that you’ll see on our shows as it largely consisted of mat wrestling. The addition of Nikki Alderton to his matches seems to have gotten Diablo more over than he’s ever been as there were several chants for him whenever he was on the defensive. Perhaps realizing that his opponent was too evenly matched for him to defeat fairly, Slater decided to go old-school heel and dug out a pair of brass knuckles from his tights while Diablo was arguing with the ref about a closed fist. Being the worker that he is, he raises the knuckles high in the air to make sure the entire crowd sees it. Convenient since there’s no big screen or anything. It also works out for Nikki as she manages to hop on the apron and snatch the knux from Slater’s grasp. Christian tries to get uppity with Nikki but gets dropped on his head by a German Suplex from Diablo. A couple more suplexes followed before the artist completed his masterpiece with a Diablo Slam (Angle Slam). Nikki celebrated the W with her friend as announcer Jason Douglas let the fans know that we are going to intermission. [* ¾]- Coming back from intermission, a couple of chairs were set up in the ring, accompanied by some cheap looking fake plants. As it turned out, “Stylish” Shawn Stylez is hosting the first ever edition of his talk show, the uncreatively named “Stylin’ With Stylez.” There was a subtle symbol of our growth here as Shawn wore a much nicer robe than he usually does. If you’re gonna be a Ric Flair knock-off, at least do it right. Anyhoo, the first guest on “Stylin’ With Stylez” is the man that beat Stylez last month, El Blanco Negro Dragon. Congratulating Dragon on his “fluke” win last month, Stylez asked Dragon a couple questions about where he’s from and things like that. Every time Dragon went to answer, Stylez would pull the mic away from him after a few words and begin riding his own nuts and talking about everything about him was sooooo much more impressive than anything Dragon has ever done. Dragon was noticeably getting frustrated each time Stylez yanked the mic from him and eventually had enough of the heel’s antics. He drilled The Stylish One with an Enziguri that caused Stylez to scramble to the outside for safety. As it turns out, the ringside area wasn’t as safe as he thought it was as Dragon came crashing onto him with a Plancha! The segment ended with Dragon flexing for the gram and giving Stylez a crotch-chop. Grandma Stylez couldn’t make it to the show tonight but I know she’ll be happy to hear her grandson caught an L. [41%]Match #5 NNW Championship “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
For the first time ever, the NNW championship match isn’t the main event! The night of strong matches continued with these two as both men had something to prove. Knox was trying to show that he could be a permanent fixture in the main event scene. Meanwhile, Hart was trying to earn back some goodwill from the fans after last month’s shitty ending. I think both men succeeded at their goals as Knox’s high flying style made for a fun contrast to Hart’s ground based offense. There was only one problem. ...I booked another rotten finish. So, here’s what happened. Hart had Knox on the back foot and was beating his opponent’s ass all over the ring. In a desperate attempt to slow the champ down, Knox straight up kicked Hart in the dick. Amazingly, the ref actually DID see this illegal action and immediately called for the bell, awarding Hart the DQ victory. Not surprisingly, fans shitted all over this finish. Knox argues with Ash over the decision for a few seconds before stomping away at Hart, who was crouched over in testicular pain. Since he couldn’t have the title, Knox wanted to make a statement and smashed his bottle of Jack Daniels over the champ’s head! Much like Scotty Swift, Hart was laid out in a pile of glass and alcohol as a very salty Drunken Fox headed to the back. Good match, pretty weak finish. This is building to something, I promise. [* ¼]Match #6 NNW Tag Team Championship 3-Way Ladder Match The Lost Souls vs. Huff Inc. (Earl Huffington & Zumbi) vs. Chase Owens & Marty Scrull
Aw shucky ducky quack quack. It was time for the Nasty Nati to have it’s first pair of tag champions. Simply put, this match was wild. I gave each team a pep talk before they walked through the curtain, telling them to give the biggest crowd we’ve ever had their money’s worth. “I’m not saying kill yourself...but I’m also not saying don’t kill yourself.” Thanks to the Lost Souls, chairs came into play early in the match as they wreaked havoc on their foes, busting open Owens at some point. The chairs ended up being used against them, however, as Slash ended up eating a Con-Chair-To from Huff Inc. The madness didn’t stop there as Huffington set up a ladder between the ring apron and the guard rail, causing it to lay vertically. After throwing Scrull on the ladder, he ordered his employee/partner to head to the top rope. Showing no fear of injury to himself, Zumbi dove and splashed onto the Brit, destroying the ladder in the process! Both men laid in a broken heap as fans chanted “Holy Shit!” Ok, I didn’t REALLY want somebody to die in this match but goddamn, that was a spectacular spot. With the coast clear, Huffington set up a ladder in the ring and tried to reach the prize hanging above. Just when he was starting to unhook the belts, Scar popped up and started shaking the ladder. Suddenly, a smirk came over Scar’s face before he straight up yanked the ladder out from under Huffington. Earl had to hang onto the belts for dear life as he dangled high in the air before crashing hard to the ground thanks to Scar jamming the ladder into his ribs. After a long, exhausting battle that left everybody involved bruised and battered, the finish came down to a bloodied Huffington climbing a ladder. Like before, there was seemingly no one to stop him as Huffington slowly crawled up the ladder. Wait, that’s Chase Owens. With seemingly his last bit of strength, he springboarded off the ring ropes and jumped onto the side of the ladder opposite of Huffington! In an instant, he was at the top of the ladder and yanked down the titles before Huffington could do anything about it! Owens and Scrull are tag team champions! Having seen one of the best matches in company history, the crowd gave the competitors a standing ovation. After being handed his belt by Owens, Scrull got on the mic and cut a basic “rah-rah” promo that thanked the fans for coming out and letting them know that the only reason why NNW still exists is because they keep turning out to shows every month. In other words, thanks for the money, marks [* ¾]
Overall, a risky idea on paper ended up paying off big for us. We got our biggest crowd ever, put on easily our best show ever, AND I didn’t even have to use my AK. Today was a good day. ...I mean, it’s night but you know what I mean.
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 25, 2017 3:28:48 GMT -5
February 2017
Well, goddamn. After losing money on two shows in a row, last month’s show turned a nice little profit. Plus, it seemed like it was pretty well received by our audience. Amazingly, the only injuries suffered in the ladder match were minor but I still felt compelled to toss each guy a $20 bonus for their effort. For the first time ever, it seemed like our company had some legit momentum going for it. As I put together the card for February's show, I was confident that this could be even better than last month. Once I had finalized the card, I called our goober ref Ash. Magic: Hey, how’s it going? Ash: Well, my girlfriend broke up with me a few hours ago and- Magic: Ah, I don’t give a f*** about how your life is going, I just want to tell you about this fire ass card we got planned for this month.
THE INCREDIBLE NATI STORY Date: February 26th, 2017 Location: Great Miami Event Center Description: This month’s show features a HUGE NNW Championship match and TWO debuts! Plus, Hypnosis & Tenryu Inokii seek revenge on Huff Inc. as they face them in tag action.
NNW Championship 3-Way Dance “The Angel of Hate” Scar vs. “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart
Following the “controversial” ending to their match at Long Live The Nati’, Scar was awarded a NNW Championship match at this month’s show. Last month, however, Jay Knox ended up getting disqualified after a blatant low blow in a title match against Hart. Insisting that it was simply a “well-placed inner thigh kick”, Knox pleaded his case to The Human Tornado that he should get another shot at the title. One can only guess that Tornado was sick of Knox’s bitching before finally adding him to this month’s title match and making it a 3-way dance. Not surprisingly Scar was not pleased at having another person added to “his” title match. Michael Hart welcomed the added challenge, pointing out that he wanted revenge on Knox for kicking him in the dick and smashing a bottle of Jack Daniels over his head. Three of the best that NNW has to offer will do battle for the top crown in the company! “Welcome to the Show” Debut Match “Canadian Dynamite” Max Boyer vs. “The Bad Boy” Joey Janela
A former Young Lions Cup holder in Chikara, Max Boyer is a veteran of the scene that was presumably impressed by the success of another Canadian import, NNW Champion Michael Hart. Max looks to make an impact in the Nasty Nati but standing in his way is a man that’s been building a buzz for himself in the past year or so, Joey Janela. The Bad Boy has a big mouth but he also has the skills to back it up. Only one man can walk away with the W and the ticket to the pay windah. Tag Team Match Da Soul Touchaz vs. Adam Page & Ryan Eagles
Two teams that failed to make it to the ladder match last month collide here. Page & Eagles appeared to be on rough terms the last time they teamed up. Can they repair that relationship in time to upset the battle-tested Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett? Christian Slater vs. El Blanco Negro Dragon
El Blanco Negro Dragon made a statement when he knocked off Shawn Stylez back in December. This month, he takes on Christian Slater who will try to rebound from catching an L to Michael Diablo. Will Dragon start his NNW career with a 2-0 record? Tag Team Match Hypnosis & Tenryu Inokii vs. Huff Inc.
It was two months ago that Huffington introduced the Nasty Nati to Zumbi, his hired mercenary that was brought in to take out Hypnosis. That confrontation ended with Inokii being blinded by green mist and Hypnosis laid out courtesy of a Capoeira Kick. Inokii & Hypnosis seek payback here as they get their hands on the two dastardly heels. Ash: That’s great and all, boss, but I got something to tell you. I think I found the guy! I had made the decision to capitalize on the upcoming WM weekend (even though Cincy is nowhere near Florida) and the general hype surrounding wrestling during that weekend by hosting a double-shot at the Great Miami Event Center. Knowing that we needed a big name attraction to sell tickets to two straight nights of wrestling, I ordered Ash to start calling any and everybody with an ounce of name value and see who the hell we could get to headline these shows. After weeks of searching and talking to anybody that would return his calls, he managed to snag a “huge star.” Knowing that Ash is booty and fails at everything he does, I was expecting it to be Doink or somebody. Magic: Alright, spill it. Who did you get? And if it’s Doink, it’d better be Chris Jericho as Doink or you’re fired. He told me who it was. My jaw damn near dropped. Brah. It was gonna be pricey to bring him in but we couldn't pass up this opportunity. WM weekend was gonna be lit.
|
|
Brainbustaaah!
Hank Scorpio
Best Damn Finishing Move Period
Posts: 5,600
|
Post by Brainbustaaah! on Sept 25, 2017 9:37:13 GMT -5
Long live the 'Nati indeed. Thank God this ray of sunshine is back in my life.
|
|
|
Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Nov 26, 2017 4:43:02 GMT -5
The Incredible Nati Story [58%] February 26th, 2017
I remember the very first NNW show I ran in my backyard. I was a young’un back then, naive to the inner workings of this great business. ...Yeah, it’s only been 18 months but I bet that’s 18 months longer than you. Still, there was a total of 3 people in the crowd. One of them was Shawn’s grandma who got her 10 bucks back after the show because she asked nicely and what douche says no to a nice old lady? Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that in just 18 short months, our rag-tag crew could draw a crowd of 106 people! This was easily our biggest crowd ever. Now, it was time to bring that heat to the streets.
Match #1 Hypnosis & Tenryu Inokii vs. Huff Inc. (Earl Huffington & Zumbi)
Tonight’s opener has grudge match written all over it. Back in December, Earl Huffingnton introduced his new “client”, a masked luchador named Zumbi. He immediately made his presence known in the NNW Universe (I know, I’m sorry) by blinding Tenryu with green mist and laying out Hypnosis. The technicos are looking for revenge here as all they start brawling with Huff Inc. as soon as they get into the ring. The faces run wild early, culminating in Tenryu using his own partner as a weapon and hurling him over the top rope onto an unsuspecting Huff Inc! The fans went nuts during that opening sequence but as the match went on, everybody remembered, “Wow. Hypnosis & Tenryu are kinda dookie, huh?” Like, Tenryu is one of the most charismatic guys we have and even Hypnosis has a weird charisma to him but my god, these two have to be two of the most useless pieces of shit to have ever competed in a wrestling match. Huffington and Zumbi are two of our better workers and even they couldn’t drag a decent match out of these two. Halfway through the match, once both guys realized that the match was a lost cause, Huff and Zumbi basically gave up and stopped caring about the match. Some might call that unprofessional but I can’t blame these dudes, tbh. Everybody might as well have been moving underwater by the time they got to the finish which saw Hypnosis being blinded by that dastardly green mist. One Capoeira Kick and a Shooting Star press later, this one was over. One of these days, we’ll have an opener that’s not terrible. [-*]Match #2 Christian Slater vs. El Blanco Negro Dragon
Dragon had an impressive debut a couple months ago, getting an upset victory over Shawn Stylez. Dragon looks to get a winning streak going but standing in his way is that dillhole Christian Slater. Before the match, Slater cuts a promo burying all these “illegal” luchadores that are coming into the Nasty Nati recently and demands to see Negro’s working visa! Negro, being the respectable gentleman he is, showed him the visa. That’s only if you consider a Hurricarana to be an adequate visa though. It took a while for the crowd to get interested in this one after the terrible opener but by the last few minutes, they seemed decently into it. Slater is a bit of a throwback to old-school Southern heels so there’s a lot of methodical leg work here as he gets the heat on his opponent. Granted, that leg work amounted to nothing as Dragon ended up doing a bunch of running and dives during his comeback but don’t blame me, this is how people work in 2017. Anyhoo, Dragon was whooping all kinds of ass when he noticed Shawn Stylez walking down the ramp with a mic in his hand. Stylez announced to the audience that this match was “so boring” that he decided to “bless” the crowd with his “wonderful” live commentary. Slater and Dragon traded moves as Stylez buried Dragon on the mic, calling him “so ugly that the athletic commission made him wear a mask to wrestle in this state.” Dragon, having had enough of Stylez talking reckless, ducks under a Slater clothesline and keeps his momentum going. Stylez was in mid-sentence as Dragon crashed onto him with a Suicide Dive! For the second month in a row, Dragon gives Stylez a crotch chop. Unfortunately, Stylez’s presence at ringside ends up costing Dragon big. As the babyface is trying to re-enter the ring, he is caught below the belt as Slater kicks the middle ring rope into his Dragon balls and I ain’t talking anime. Told y’all this cat was an old-school heel. Anyway, with Dragon stunned, Slater drills him with a Cradle Piledriver and gets the win. It took outside interference for him to win but Slater doesn’t seem to mind as he flexes for the gram and taunts fans before heading to the back. Stylez, still a bit embarrassed at getting dived on, decides to pick up the scraps and hit Dragon with a Stylizer for good measure. [¾*] - DVD Commentator and ring announcer Jason Douglas conducts an in-ring interview with the first-ever NNW tag team champions, Chase Owens & Marty Scrull. In a cute touch, Scrull actually has a female fan in the front row put her name on his title belt in sharpie marker before handing her his number. That shit better come off, brah. Scrull does most of the talking as he says that both men are honored to represent the Nasty Nati’s blossoming tag division. “Last month’s ladder match was one of the wildest of both mine and Owens’ careers and we know things are only gonna get more competitive as teams start gunning for these belts.” Owens says that they welcome the challenge, however, and they look forward to proving that they are one of the best teams in the world. Granted, they only started teaming last month (and that was only due to an injury forcing me to move stuff around) but this team has got some potential. The promo wasn’t anything more than ok but that’s to be expected considering neither man is a particularly good promo. [56%]Match #3 “Welcome to the Show” Debut Match “The Bad Boy” Joey Janela vs. “Canadian Dynamite” Max Boyer
In another sign of our young company’s growth, two more guys that have been getting buzz on the independent scene make their debut in the Nasty Nati. In one corner, there’s the veteran Max Boyer. He’s the definition of a journeyman but has never really caught on anywhere in the US outside of a run in Chikara. He hopes to turn his career around by rising the ranks in NNW. On the opposite side of the ring is a relative newcomer, Joey Janela. Very much the opposite of Boyer, Janela was loud and boisterous as he walked out from behind the curtain, sporting black wrap-around shades and a leather jacket. Janela seemingly offered Boyer a friendly handshake before the match but quickly pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair. So, here’s the background on this match. Both of these guys are talented and I knew I wanted to bring both of them in to fill out our roster. Despite that, I had no idea which one I wanted to be a face and which one I wanted to be a heel. I decided to solve this in a somewhat unconventional way. When both guys got the building, I told them who I wanted to win but left literally everything else up to them. Whoever the crowd liked more, that person would be a babyface going forward. As it turned out, the crowd sided with Janela. You would think his personality and character would be more suited for a heel but he has a lot of charisma and infinitely more star presence than Boyer. Boyer was clearly the better in-ring talent but in just about every other area, Janela outshined him. The match itself was great by our standards. Like, easily in the top five NNW matches ever. This was a very different kind of match than last month’s ladder match but I think I enjoyed this more. After lots of flashy stuff from both guys, Janela puts Boyer’s lights out with a brutal roundhouse kick to the side of the head. Instead of going for a pin, Janela goes outside the ring and grabs a water bottle from a fan, taking a big swig before spitting the water high up in the air. His reasoning for this became clear as he rolled back into the ring and used a Pedigree on Boyer to secure the win. [**]After the match, Joey Janela gets on the stick and cuts a quick promo putting himself over. He puts the roster on notice, warning them stay on their toes whenever they were around…*pauses to put on black shades again*...The Bad Boy! “Also, if you have a cigarette that I can bum, see The Bad Boy after the show!” Again, pretty heelish promo but the crowd loves it so who am I to say otherwise? [63%]Match #4 Da Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett) vs. Adam Page & Ryan Eagles
After a brief intermission, we’re onto the penultimate match of the night. Two teams that didn’t qualify for the ladder match last month collide here. Much like last month, Eagles & Page had trouble co-existing, not being able to string together any sustained offense due to their constant bickering back and forth. Their opponents, however, seemed more aggressive than usual as they never stopped to play to the crowd. No dancing, no flexing for the gram, no nothing. This new aggressiveness ends up paying off as they hit a 3-D on Page before covering him for the pin. Really good match but I probably should have given it a little more time. [*¾]- After the match, Adam Page got all uppity with Ryan Eagles for letting him get murked like that. Eagles goes, “nah brah, you just ass” before getting slapped in the face by Page. Big mistake by The Star Maker. Eagles tackles him to the ground, prompting a brawl between the two. It doesn’t last very long before Eagles gets the better of it, leaving Page laying with a Headlock Driver before walking away. That’s two L’s in one night for Page. [56%]- Before the main event, we’re getting a special announcement from NNW Commissioner The Human Tornado. Getting right to the chase, Tornado announced that NNW would be doing it’s first ever double shot! “On March 31st and April 1st, join us for two back-to-back nights of Nasty Nati action!” In addition to the regulars on the Nasty Nati roster, Tornado announced that a special guest would be wrestling on both nights. He’s a wrestling superstar from overseas that is a former All-Japan Triple Crown Champion and a three-time GHC Heavyweight Champion. “Ladies and Gentlemen, Pimps and Hoes, our first-ever double shot weekend will feature... Go Shiozaki!” For some reason, I was expecting this massive reaction when Tornado announced this. I’m talking The Rock coming back with Stone Cold Steve Austin to murk Roman Reigns. That kind of pop. It...wasn’t quite at that level. I mean, it got a good pop but nothing major or anything. Still, this was a pretty big get for us. An established name like Shiozaki is a guy who would have never worked for us a year ago. Now, he’s ready to get Nasty in the Nati. [58%]Match #5 NNW Championship 3-Way Dance “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c) vs. “The Angel of Hate” Scar vs. “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox
It’s main event time! For the first time ever, the NNW championship is defended in a multi-man match. For six months, Michael Hart has defended his title against all challengers but this may be his toughest challenge to date. The match started out as a chaotic brawl with each man getting their licks in. At some point, the heels decided it would be in their best interest to double-team Hart and essentially eliminate him from the match. For the next several minutes, Hart gets the piss beat out of him. He tried to stage the occasional comeback but each one was snuffed out by the man advantage. As anybody with two brain cells could probably guess, however, the heels’ alliance doesn’t last forever as Scar has to yank Knox off of Hart when he goes for a pin attempt. The two bicker for a bit before they start trading punches. Scar and Knox have a mini one-on-one match as Hart rolls to the outside to recover. Despite being two relatively small guys, Scar and Knox wrestle a “mean guy” style, bringing the hate in each strike they deliver. Knox finds himself on the backfoot following a Yakuza Kick in the corner and gets muscled up for Scar’s Brainbuster. The Drunken Fox slips out of the move and shoves Scar off him. Schonzbuster 83’! Hart is back in the ring and just caught Scar with his finisher. Instead of crumpling to the ground, Scar stumbles around on his feet after taking the move, his legs clearly being jelly. This gives Knox the chance to hook Scar’s head, run up the turnbuckles and deliver a devastating Tornado DDT! Scar is damn near dead but before the drunk can go for a cover, he’s attacked by Hart. The champ hasn’t forgotten that Knox broke a bottle over his head last month and he wants a piece of Knox’s ass. Pause. With Scar momentarily taken out, Hart beats Knox’s ass all over the ring, whipping him into each corner before pelting him with chops and punches. Knox eventually fires back with some strikes of his own before going for a Ripcord Clothesline on Hart. The champ ducks under the move and cradles Knox with a...Small Package. Uh oh. Some fans were ready to throw a fit, remembering the finish to December’s show, but thankfully, Knox kicked out. Settle down, marks. It was just a cute little callback. Speaking of call backs, Knox goes for a dick kick (which would actually be legal this month since there are no DQ’s in 3-way matches) but Hart grabs his foot. The champ may have been trying to go for the Sharpshooter but he gets cut off by an Enziguri from Knox! The toll that this 3-way war has taken on each man’s body begins to show as Knox slowly heads to the top rope. He’s likely going for a Swanton Bomb but he gets cut off at the pass by Hart. The two start trading strikes with the crowd going “BOO” for Knox and “YAY” for Hart. While all of this is happening, Devil’s Advocate comes out to ringside and checks on their “leader” Scar. They help him to his feet as Hart hooks Knox for a Superplex in the ring. Knox fights like a mother to avoid taking the move but Hart refuses to give up. Knox seemingly says “f*** it”, hooks Hart for a Suplex of his own, and falls backward to the outside. HE JUST SUPERPLEXED MICHAEL HART ONTO THE PILE OF BODIES KNOWN AS DEVIL’S ADVOCATE! Rightfully so, “Holy shit!” chants fill the building as the five men lay in a broken heap. Knox is the first one to get up to his feet and, realizing the golden opportunity at hand, rolls Scar into the ring. He must feel like Scar has taken the most damage in this match and will be the easiest to pin. Before he falls on top of Scar, he’s attacked from behind! That. That’s...that’s Tim Donst! What the hell is he doing here and why the hell is he interfering in this title match!? Tossing a chair into the ring, Donst smashes the object off Knox’s head before throwing the chair down and hitting an STO onto it! As hated as Knox is, the fans don’t seem to know what to make of this but quickly begin booing when Donst drags Scar’s body on top of Knox and orders ref Ash to count. Hart gets back to his feet on the outside and tries to run into the ring but he’s held back by Slash & 2-Face! After shedding six months worth of blood, sweat, and tears to defend the title, Hart can only watch as he loses his title without even being pinned for it. Amidst hella boos from fans, Jason Douglas makes it official. “Your winner and NEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW Nasty Nati Champion, “The Angel of Hate” Scar!”
In case the sting of losing his title wasn’t painful enough for Hart, Slash and 2-Face throw him hard into the barricade before tossing him into the ring. There, he takes an STO from Donst. Scar can only laugh to himself as he’s handed the title and helped to his feet by his three allies. Before they head to the back, Scar gets on the mic and has a simple message for the crowd. “Welcome to the Era of Scar, bitches!” [*]
|
|