Brainbustaaah!
Hank Scorpio
Best Damn Finishing Move Period
Posts: 5,600
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Post by Brainbustaaah! on Aug 27, 2015 15:10:15 GMT -5
I can't hate this diary for adding "rub my hands together like Birdman" to my vocabulary. Fantastic stuff, my man.
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Aug 30, 2015 1:11:15 GMT -5
April 24th, 2016 Night 3 of the Nasty Nati' Classic Smells Like Nati' Spirit
Another month, another installment of the Nasty Nati Classic as 50 folks had congregated to the hallowed grounds of my backyard. Things are heating up this month right along with the weather as competitors in each block jockey for position and hope to come out on top like their last name was Cena. Aw shucky ducky quack quack, let’s get it on! Match #1 Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) (2) vs. 2-Face (0)
Seeing as he’s the only man in his block that still has a struggle 0, 2-Face came into this match with a chip on his shoulder which was made clear by how he destroyed Jimmy Moore in under five minutes. The reality of the situation is that no freaking way I’m trusting Jimmy to wrestle any more lengthy singles matches. I also managed to convince Nikki to start wearing a skimpier outfit (easier than you would think, honestly. The girl’s confident in her body, gotta give her that.) to help draw attention away from how horrible Moore is. Hypnosis complained that I was “making” his sister “look like a street walker” but I was like “don’t hate the playa, hate the game brah.” Anyhoo, 2-Face planted Moore with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex to pick up his first win of the tournament. All in all, the usual bad opener from our little promotion. That’s how we do it in the Nati’. Set the bar super low at first so expectations are easy to exceed! [-*]Match #2 Nasty Nati Classic Block B Match Shawn Stylez (4) vs. Hypnosis (0)
The leader of Block B takes on the man that’s bringing up the rear here as “Stylish” Shawn Stylez seemed to be taking Hypnosis lightly in the early goings of the match. After repeatedly taking time out to slap the dime store Luchadore in the face, however, Stylez was caught off-guard by a Small Package roll-up. He managed to escape before the count of 3 but was quickly caught by surprise roll-up from Hypnosis, again only yielding a 2-count. The fans, who usually do their best Jimmy Moore impersonation during Hypnosis matches, actually briefly got behind the luchadore including Grandma Stylez leading a faint chant for her favorite wrestler. Unfortunately for G-Ma Stylez, those roll-ups were basically the peak of Hypnosis’ offense in the match as her grandson regained control of the match from there, finishing off his opponent with a Stylizer (Hangman’s Neckbreaker). The first clean win Stylez has had in this tournament! [-*]- After the match, “The Stylish One” Shawn Stylez cuts a promo hyping up the fact that he (currently) has more points than anybody else in the tournament. “Just like my gorgeous skin and sparkly white teeth, my record is perfect.” He also takes time out to berate his grandmother for cheering that “ugly freak that has to hide his face behind a mask” when her perfect grandson was right there! It was kinda hard to hear him over all the booing but I think he just rode his own nuts some more before heading to the back. Say what you will about his in-ring work but Stylez always brings it on the mic and this was no exception. [54%]- More talking, this time from Jay Knox before his upcoming match against Scotty Swift. A mic in one hand and his trusty flask in the other, Knox basically says that he’s got a lot of respect for Scotty but he’s willing to fight his friend for a shot at being the first Nasty Nati’ Champion. “Do you know how much alcohol that belt is gonna earn me? Everybody at the bar is gonna buy me a round when I walk in with that thing strapped around my waist!” Not much else to say about this one. [42%]Match #3 Nasty Nati’ Classic Block B Match Jay Knox (2) vs. Scotty Swift (2)
A bit of a styles clash here as Swift’s offense is very mat-based and grounded while Knox is known for his high-risk moves and fancy flippy-doos. That being said, because of the lackluster quality of the previous two matches, this winds up being the best match of the night so far practically by default. The action was back and forth as the fans were clearly split down in the middle in terms of which fan favorite they were supporting. In the end, it came down to both men fighting for position on the top rope. They traded blows for a bit before Swift got the better of the exchange with a headbutt and...snapped off a Hurricarana off the top rope!?!? Holy shit, I had no idea the old man had that in him. Apparently, the fans didn’t either as they go nuts for the spot and count along with the ref as Scotty crawls on top of Knox for the pin. Knox was clearly upset at having lost the match and even teased not shaking Swift’s hand after the bell but, after some coaxing from the fans, begrudgingly pulled in Scotty for a Respect Hug™. The match was a bit better than I was expecting, honestly. [¼*]Match #4 Nasty Nati’ Classic Block B Match Slash (2) vs. Michael Diablo (2)
Both men had a 1-1 record in the tournament going into this match so a win here was crucial to keeping their title hopes alive. These two hit each other hard. Like...really REALLY hard. These boys were working stiffer than Val Venis at his day job in this one as Diablo did his best Kobashi impression as he laid into Slash with rapid-fire chops in the corner. Of course, as has been the case with all of his NNW matches so far, Diablo displayed some impressive technique as he effortlessly hurled his opponent around like a sack of potatoes with Suplexes. I’m pretty sure Taz called at least one of those Suplexes a Rocket Bustah. As cool as the suplexes are to watch, however, they end up costing Michael as he goes back to the well one too many times. While being hooked up for a German Suplex, Slash obviously has the move well scouted as he slips behind Diablo and slaps on his signature Rear Naked Choke! Being faced with the prospect of passing out much like Scotty Swift did, Diablo opts out of that fate by tapping out and awarding Slash another submission victory. Pretty good match by our standards. [½*]Match #5 Nasty Nati’ Classic Block A Match Chris Cryptic (2) vs. Earl Huffington III (2)
These two tore it up the last time they faced off in January and this match was no different. From start to finish, this match was practically one big blur. Just spot spot spot spot spot spot spot spot spot botch spot spot spot spot spot. It’s the exactly the kind of match you could do in the new WWE game if you wanted but hey, the fans loved it and that’s all that matters. Really, the only difference between this match and the match a few months ago is that this one had a different outcome as Cryptic, having learned from their last encounter, was able to get out of the way of a Shooting Star Press from Huffington. As Huffington was getting to his feet, he was met by a Soccer Ball kick to the head followed by a GTS! The ref probably could have counted to 10 after that one and Earl still wouldn’t have gotten up. Overlooked by some due to his easygoing nature outside of the ring, Cryptic is quickly proving himself to be a low-key favorite to win not just Block A but the entire tournament. [*¼]- Before this month’s main event, the fans are treated to a promo by Scar. While the other members of Devil’s Advocate, 2-Face & Slash, stand in the background looking tough, Scar says that he’s been counting the days until this show like a kid waiting for Christmas. “Ever since that douchebag from north of the border, Michael Hart, got here to Cincinnati, all I’ve heard is how nice he is and what a good wrestler he is and what a pussy that 2-Face must be since he tapped out twice to him.” 2-Face clearly takes objection to that last, rather unnecessary, dig from his own stablemate but Slash steps in and calms him down before the situation can escalate. Either oblivious to his stablemate’s anger or just simply uncaring to that fact, Scar continues his promo without missing a beat and says that he’s been waiting for this show because he’s now got a chance to expose Hart for the phony that he is. “You think you’re hot shit because you beat 2-Face? News flash to you and all the other geeks out there hearing this. I ain’t 2-Face. I’m the Angel of Hate. I’m the man responsible for bringing this group together. I’m the baddest mofo that’s ever walked God’s green earth. I...am the guy that’s gonna drop you on your goddamn head with a Brainbuster tonight! Now get out here so you can get exposed!” [44%]Match #6 Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match Michael Hart (4) vs. Scar (2)
In a lot of ways, I was looking forward to this match more than pretty much any other match in the tournament so far. It’s the most popular babyface we have taking on our most hated heel. Understandably, my expectations were pretty high going into this one, hence why I went through the trouble of giving it the main event slot this month. And boy, did it pay off. These two have one hell of a match. Not only did the in-ring action deliver but the crowd heat was out of this world. Like, it may have had the most crowd heat of any match in company history. What’s funny is, these guys told a super basic story. Hart ran wild during the opening minutes of the match (he didn’t have to worry about outside interference since the ref had ordered the other members of Devil’s Advocate to the back before the match) only to get caught off by an eye-rake from Scar. The dastardly heel worked Hart over, teasing the fans as they tried to rally their hero on only for him to be cut off every time he looked to get some kind of offense going. Hart eventually managed to turn the tide of the match, forcing “The Angel of Hate” to go scrambling for the ropes any time Hart went for one of the various submissions in his arsenal. The fans were ready to see Scar swallow his pride and be forced to tap out but they were denied as Scar, after attempting the Brainbuster twice at earlier points in the match, managed to muscle him up for the move on the third time and drill him headfirst into the mat! As Scar covered him for a three count, you could spot some kids in the crowd with tears in their eyes. Being the dickhead he is, Scar made sure to take a selfie with one of the crying kids so he could post it on his Instagram with the caption of “just another example of why I love dis business.” Excellent match to close out the show on, one of the best of the entire tournament so far. [¾*]
Match of the Night: Chris Cryptic vs. Earl Huffington III Worst Match of the Night: Hypnosis vs. Shawn Stylez Most Heat of the Night: Boy, the fans hated Scar after he beat Hart clean as a sheet.
NASTY NATI’ CLASSIC LEADERBOARD
Block A Chris Cryptic (4) Michael Hart (4) Scar (4) 2-Face (2) Earl Huffington (2) Jimmy Moore (2)
Block B
Shawn Stylez (6) Slash (4) Scotty Swift (4) Michael Diablo (2) Jay Knox (2) Hypnosis (0)
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Aug 30, 2015 17:31:40 GMT -5
May, 2016 NASTY NATI’ CLASSIC UPDATE Posted to Facebook
Sup ya’ll? This is the owner of Nasty Nati’ Wrestling, and all-around “that dude”, Magic. Since we’ve now passed the mid-way point of the first-ever Nasty Nati’ Classic, I’d figure that now would be a good time to look at the leaderboard and examine all the ways that the rest of the tournament could shake out depending on the results of the next three months. There’s gonna be some math involved so try to keep up, slow pokes. Get out some paper and a pen if you have you to. The tournament is set to last for another 3 months (mainly because I’m a complete goober and f***ed up while planning out the matches but shhhh). Here’s the upcoming schedule of matches left: MAY: Block A2-Face (2) vs. Chris Cryptic (4) Michael Hart (4) vs. Jimmy Moore (2) Block BMichael Diablo (2) vs. Scotty Swift (4) Hypnosis (0) vs. Jay Knox (2) Shawn Stylez (6) vs. Slash (4) JUNE (Final Night of Block B): Block AScar (4) vs. 2-Face (2) Jimmy Moore (2) vs. Earl Huffington III (2) Block BMichael Diablo (2) vs. Jay Knox (2) Hypnosis (0) vs. Slash (4) Shawn Stylez (6) vs. Scotty Swift (4) JULY (Final Night of Block A): Block AChris Cryptic (4) vs. Scar (4) Michael Hart (4) vs. Earl Huffington III (2) AUGUST (Our Anniversary show): The Finals of the Nasty Nati ClassicWinner of Block A vs. Winner of Block B in a Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match As always, in the case of someone being unable to wrestle in one of their scheduled matches, that person will have to forfeit the match and their opponent will automatically be awarded 2 points. Now, let’s take a look at the current standings and see what the odds of each man is going into the next few months of tournament action. Block A
2-Face (2 points): The struggle is real for 2-Face right now. With a 1-2 record, winning the Nasty Nati Classic seems improbable but certainly isn’t impossible. Without question, he has to win both of his next two matches to even have a chance of going to the finals. In addition to that, he also has to hope that Michael Hart loses both of his matches and that Earl Huffington loses at least one of his matches since both men have beaten him in the tournament and would therefore win a tiebreaker in the event of two men having the same record. If he goes HAM in his next two matches and lady luck is on his side, 2-Face could still wind up in the finals. So, if you’re a fan of the Europrick, start rubbing those hands together, baby. Chris Cryptic (4 points): Rocking a strong 2-1 record, Cryptic is in a good (but not great) position going into his final two matches. There are a couple of routes that he can take to the final. No matter what he does, however, the end result is gonna wind up being somewhat out of his control. Even if he wins both of his upcoming matches, he still has to hope that Michael Hart doesn’t win both of his matches as Hart would clinch the block in the event of a tiebreaker due to his victory earlier in the tournament. If Cryptic only manages to win one of his matches, things get more complicated. He has to beat Scar since a loss to him would mean that the Angel of Hate would clinch any tiebreaker between the two. He could lose to 2-Face, however, and still wind up in the finals in the event that Michael Hart loses both of his matches and Scar wins his match with 2-Face. The laid-back Cryptic was like “good shit, brah” when his odds of going to the finals were explained to him so if nothing else, he has faith that he’ll wind up fighting for the NNW Championship. Earl Huffington (2 points): Things aren’t looking too good for Huffington right now but it’s not completely impossible for him save himself from a recession or depression or some other bad business term that would make me sound smart. Both of his upcoming matches are must-win situations. He also has to hope that Chris Cryptic & Scar not only lose their respective matches against 2-Face but that their match against each other somehow ends in a draw as a win for either man would result in them being put in a position to beat Earl by activating their trap card, “Tiebreaker.” It’s a long LONG shot but Earl’s not totally out of the picture yet. Michael Hart (4 points): Hart’s path to the finals isn’t a complicated one but it’s not necessarily easy either. He not only has to win his next two matches but he also needs Scar to lose one of his matches as a tiebreaker would go to that dastardly prick. There is an off-chance that he could win the block while only winning one of his matches but he would need Scar to lose both of his matches AND for Huffington to lose one of his matches. The fans obviously think Hart can do it but only time will tell if Hart has what it takes to make it to the finals. Jimmy Moore (2 points): lol. Jimmy Moore has arguably the toughest path to the finals in this block. There’s like a 0.09% chance that he can he win this block. It’s so complicated, I’m not even gonna bother running it down or I’d sound like Scott Steiner. Basically, he needs to win both of his matches and a bunch of other weird shit needs to happen. But hey, you never know. Maybe he’ll shock the world and pull out the block win. Scar (4 points): Simply put, Scar needs to win his next two matches. If he does, he’s got himself a golden ticket to the finals. He’s shown time and time again that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to pull out the win on a nightly basis so imagine what he’s gonna bust out when the stakes are so high here. Block B
Michael Diablo (2 points): The wildcard of the tournament has virtually been eliminated from the tournament. Even if he manages to win his next two matches, he would still lose a tiebreaker to Shawn Stylez. He’s basically fighting for pride at this point as a good showing in the tournament could put him in line for a shot at whoever the first champion is. He’s also a good wrestler so his matches should be fun. Hypnosis (0 points): Hahahahahaha. Let’s just say Hypnosis is fighting to not finish the tournament with a goose egg at this point. Jay Knox (2 points): Another dude that’s virtually been knocked out of the tournament. The man’s at the bar right now drinking away his sorrows. Damn, call Block B the struggle block. Anyway, same deal as Diablo. If he wins his next two matches, he could make a strong case for getting a title shot in the future. Slash (4 points): Oddly enough, Slash is in a very similar position to his good buddy Scar in Block A. If he wins his next two matches, he’s in the finals, no questions asked. Considering the stiff competition he’s facing, it won’t be easy but at the same time, don’t be too terribly shocked if Slash is headlining our anniversary show. Shawn Stylez (6 points): “The Stylish One” has a few routes he could take to the finals, all of them pretty reasonable. The most obvious one is to win his next two matches and clinch his block with a perfect record. While Stylez’ ego certainly loves that option, he can also get away with only winning one of his matches as long as neither Swift nor Slash win both of their matches. Stylez is considered by many to be the favorite to win this block but he has to be careful. If he gets sloppy, he could easily wind up losing the spot to Slash or Scotty Swift. Scotty Swift (4 points): With a bit of luck, old man Swift could find himself in the inaugural NNW Championship match. He needs to win both of his matches AND for Slash to lose at least one of his matches. Swift’s gonna have to rely on all his wrestling knowledge to earn his spot in the main event of our anniversary show. There are many ways that the rest of the Nasty Nati’ Classic could shake out but I know one thing. It’ll be exciting. And no, you may not have a refund if it isn’t.
Damn, did that make your brain hurt while reading it? I know it made mine hurt when I posted it. So yeah, like an idiot, I didn’t properly plan when all the matches were happening so I had to improvise and extend the tournament for a month. Thankfully, we are still on track for the finals to take place at our big anniversary show. I’m also running into another problem although I guess it’s a good problem to have. My backyard is getting way too crowded. If the event page on Facebook is accurate, we were gonna have more people than ever at our May show. Pretty soon, somebody’s gonna snitch and call the cops on me or something for violating so many codes and regulations. Also, I totally don’t have a license to promote and run shows in this state so I’d be catching the L of the century if Johnny Law came knocking on my door. The cheap bastard in me has been hesitant to admit this but I can’t deny it any longer. I...actually need to start renting out a venue for this shit. I should be hype that we’ve grown this much but damn, that sounds like a lot work. Better call up our ref (whom I’ve dubbed “Ash” because he looks so young that he should be on a Pokemon quest) and tell him to start calling around. Until then, I’m just gonna keep blasting Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright” in my room so it’ll give me the strength to push through and not get shut down.
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 2, 2015 18:20:20 GMT -5
NON TOURNAMENT TAG MATCH ADDED TO THIS MONTH’S SHOW Posted on Facebook by Magic
As I’m sure some of you have seen if you follow the NNW stars on Twitter, Earl Huffington III and Chris Cryptic have been getting into it over the past couple of weeks following Cryptic’s win over Huffington at the last show. For those of you that actually have a life and haven’t seen it, a transcript of the exchange has been provided.
[It started off innocently with Earl Huffington doing some internet flexin…] Earl Huffington @ehiii:After a relaxing spin in the Rolls-Royce, I’m ready to dominate Block A. People like me aren’t born to lose. #Moneyovereverything [It wasn’t long before Chris Cryptic jumped in with his two cents.] Christopher Cryptic @boobookitty22:@ehiii Nah, you good brah. [Within minutes, Huffington fired back.] @boobookitty22 Don’t get cocky because you got one win over me.Any other day of the year, I would have destroyed you. #FACT #SitDownPeasant [Cryptic was ready with some more shade though] @ehiii lol.BTW, if you have so much money, why are your suits always 2 sizes too big for you? Or are struggle suits in season this month? [Needless to say, Earl had no response to getting roasted like that. It seemed like that would be the end of their beef but a couple of days later, Earl came on to talk about a new bodyguard that he was planning to bring month’s show.] @ehiii:I’ve acquired the services of a bodyguard. When you’re worth as much as me, you need protection. He debuts this month. #BetterthanDiesel [Like a moth to a light, Cryptic immediately jumped in with his thoughts.] @boobookitty22:@ehiii Is he as big a lame as you? Should have spent that money on a belt because you sure as hell ain’t getting the NNW title. #FACT [You could almost taste the salt in Earl’s response] @boobookitty22 Trust me, you want nothing to do with this guy. Go back to listening to your Asher Roth records before you get hurt. [Cryptic refused to back down, however, and even made a daring claim.] @ehiii Yeah, ok. I bet me and one of my buddies could kick both of your asses. You’re gonna be well rested after I put you to sleep again.
The two men went back and forth for several more hours with lots of F-bombs being dropped by both sides. Eventually, fans got tired of the exchange and begged for NNW to make these guys turn their twitter fingers into trigger fingers. We always give our fans what they want whenever it’s convenient for us so the fans are getting their wish! At this month’s show, entitled Nati Wonderful, both Chris Cryptic and Earl Huffington will bring their mystery partners and have a tag match! The match will have no bearing on the Nati Classic standing but it could be crucial to getting some momentum and confidence going into future Classic matches! The actual show will be up soon.
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 5, 2015 20:02:21 GMT -5
May 29th, 2016 Night Four of the Nasty Nati' Classic Nati' Wonderful
BRAH. So, as it turns out, our show just so happens to be on the same day as an NXT show that’s coming to town for the first time. When I first found out, I wasn’t really concerned since our show was slotted to start at 1 PM while the NXT show was slotted for 7 PM. Then, for seemingly no other reason than JBL hates me, their start time got moved a couple of weeks away from the show. What did it get moved to? ...You guessed it, 1 PM. Our ref Ash totally freaked out when the time change got announced and said that I should to change our start time so we wouldn't have to compete but I was adamant that our fans were loyal and would choose us over smelly old NXT. ...I’m sure some of you can already imagine how salty I was when it came time for the show and only 28 folks showed up. Our attendance nearly dropped by 50% from our last show! Just when I was making plans for expansion too. The show must go on, however, so all I can do is hope that the boys (and gal) deliver to make sure the fans that actually bothered to show up get their money’s worth. Laughing Larry tried to get a “f*** NXT!” chant going during his rah-rah speech but Grandma Stylez was the only one that did it.
Match #1
Nasty Nati’ Classic Block B Match Jay Knox(2) vs. Hypnosis (0)
Both of these men are essentially fighting for nothing but pride at this point and perhaps that’s for the best because this match is a stinker. Knox was having an off-night (well, day, I guess) and blowing spots that he does all the time. Hypnosis was...well, Hypnosis. The fans had really turned on the match by the time it ended and seemed more happy that it was over than anything when Knox hit a Swanton Bomb for the win. Knox, knowing how dookie the match was, tried to get some of his heat back after the match by smashing a bottle of Jack Daniels (which he had been taking sips from during his entrance) over the white boy Luchadore’s head! Hahahaha, f*** you Hypnosis. The fans loved it too so thankfully, no real damage done to Knox’s popularity. All in all, a bit below average opener even by our incredibly low standards. [-*]Match #2 Nasty Nati’ Classic Block A Match Michael Hart (4) vs. Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) (2)
Crucial Block A match here as a win here would put Hart in a good position going into his final match in two months and help him shake off the sting of his loss to Scar last month. Knowing that a loss here would mean the death of his title hopes, Jimmy Moore pulled out all the stops in this one. ...He was still absolutely horrible, don’t get me wrong, but he tried his little heart out. The only reason why this wasn’t like a -*** match is because Hart is really really freaking good. He was able to make a horrible wrestler like Moore look almost sorta competent. Nikki could have used some pom-poms with the way that she bounced around at ringside and banged on the mat in an attempt to rally the fans behind her man. Still, it was all for naught as Moore eventually found himself locked in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring and was forced to tap out. Moore looked super depressed by the loss but Nikki made sure that he shook hands with the winner and wished him the best of luck in his final match against Earl Huffington. [-*]Match #3 Nasty Nati Classic Block B Match Slash (4) vs. Shawn Stylez (6)
In what very well may be the most important Block B match of the night, two of the more disliked men in the company go head to head. From the start, Slash has Stylez on the backfoot as he seemingly takes pleasure in yanking on The Stylish One’s hair while trapping him in restholds. At one point, he even (accidentally) rips out a big chunk of Shawn’s hair leaving him with a very noticeable bald spot! To both guys’ credit, they improvised well as the match comes to a momentary halt so Slash can have a hearty belly laugh while Stylez freaks out and yells at the crowd to stop laughing. Oddly enough, the hair loss may have actually helped Stylez as he wrestled the rest of the match much more aggressively and even got a few nearfalls in on Slash. Eventually, it came down to both men taking a tumble to the outside after a Cactus Jack-style Clothesline from Slash. Both guys were having trouble getting to their feet as the ref started his count but were able to get up at virtually the same time when the count hit 8. At this very moment, however, the ref oh-so-conveniently was distracted by a heckling fan allowing Stylez to get off a punt to the dick behind his back! Slash went down in a heap as the Stylish One rolled back in the ring and raised his arms in victory as he was awarded the win via count-out. That’s a bitch move, Stylez. [-*]- Before his upcoming tag match against Chris Cryptic and his mystery partner, Earl Huffington III comes out with a rather odd looking man carrying a kendo stick and decked out in all black. Oh and he’s got white-boy dreads. Even though I’m sure most of the fans put two and two together when they came out, Huff still goes through the trouble of explaining that this is his new bodyguard Nightmare Manson. Let’s pause here. Manson’s a guy from Canada that was looking to get his feet wet in the States and reached out to his old Michael Hart to see if he could hook him up. Hart gave me his number and a Youtube link showcasing his work and next thing you know, he was booked for our next show. Basically, Huffington hypes up Manson as the toughest SOB from up-north that money could buy. It’s nothing special but Huff’s never really been a great talker. [53%]Match #4 Non-Tournament Tag Match Earl Huffington III & Nightmare Manson vs. Chris Cryptic & Marty Scrull
Well, you know who Nightmare Manson is now so you probably wondering, “who the hell is Marty Scrull?” Hailing from the UK, Scrull’s a talented performer that just hasn’t clicked in the States for some reason despite appearing on TNA TV a few years ago when they were still something resembling major league. He was even on the first season of that British Bootcamp show. The handsome Scrull’s entrance takes a few minutes as he stops and flirts with several women in the crowd, even giving his number to one of them. Aw shucky ducky quack quack. Anyhoo, after a string of bad matches, this show desperately needed something good on it and these four men were kind enough to provide it. I shouldn’t be shocked considering everybody in this match is actually talented but I wasn’t expecting anything to go right on this show. The story itself is a basic tag formula. The good guys ran wild for a few minutes, the heels got heat on Cryptic, Scrull got a hot tag, lots of flippy shit happened (well, Manson did more catching than anything), and then Huffington got the win after a Shooting Star Press. Granted, it was only after Manson had planted Scrull with an Implant DDT and Huff demanded that he be tagged in so he could pick up the scraps but that doesn’t get in the way of Huff bragging like he’s Hov’ after the match. Match of the night so far by leaps and bounds. [¾*]- Surprisingly, Devil’s Advocate come out as a unit prior to the upcoming Block A match between Scar and 2-Face. As Scar snatches the mic away from Laughing Larry, a loud “Scar Sucks!” chant breaks out and only intensifies as he tells the crowd to shut up because he’s got nothing to say to them! Instead, he wants to talk to his friend (and opponent), 2-Face. It looks like the Europrick wasn’t expecting this as he’s caught off-guard but urges Scar to speak. The Angel of Hate says that he just wanted to tell 2-Face that he’s sorry. “Sorry that your chances of winning the tournament end tonight. I NEED to win my next two matches to get into the finals and I go to do it at your expense. Although, let’s be real. It’s not like you had all that good a shot of winning this thing anyway. So really, this could be considered a mercy killing more than anything. I gotta put ya’ down like Old Yeller, buddy.” Not being able to take anymore, 2-Face asks for the mic and tells Scar that he shouldn’t feel sorry about anything. No, it’s 2-Face that should feel sorry because he has to be the one to bring Scar back down to reality with this ass-kicking he’s about to give him! Once again trying to play mediator, Slash jumps in to try and defuse the tension but Scar, clearly offended at 2-Face not just accepting his bullshit, tells him to head to the back and orders the ref to “ring the damn bell.” It’s about to be on like a pot of neckbones! ...I feel like I’ve used quite a few Booker-isms during this show. [47%]
Match #5 Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match 2-Face (2) vs. Scar (4)
Simply put, this was a mean guy match. These two “friends” stiffed the hell out of each other for nearly 15 minutes. Both men were sporting large goose eggs on their heads as there were so many potatoes thrown in the match, you’d think one of them was Irish. For the most part, they seemed to be evenly matched but as the match appeared to heading towards the finishing stretch, 2-Face clearly had the advantage. At one point, he almost had the victory secured with a Belly to Belly Suplex but Scar managed to get his foot on the rope. Soon after that, Scar tried to go for a Flying Axe Handle off the top rope but ended up tweaking his knee at an awkward angle while landing. Immediately, he sat up holding up his knee and asking the ref to check him out. 2-Face was clearly skeptical at first but his stance softened when he saw the usually cold and callous Scar actually begging for a bit of mercy from his friend as he honestly didn’t know if he could still compete with his injury. Scar extended his hand so the Europrick could help him up and, despite protests from the crowd, 2-Face accepted it. It turned out to be quite possibly the biggest mistake 2-Face has made in this entire tournament as Scar quickly pulled his opponent in for a Small Package and got the flash three count! If the Angel of Hate wins his next match, he’s got a guaranteed spot in the finals. 2-Face appeared to be absolutely furious at being deceived but Scar paid him no mind and left him to stew in the ring as he walked to the back in celebration, claiming that it was 2-Face’s own fault for “letting his guard down.” Much better match than I was expecting considering that it was rudo vs. rudo. [½*]Match #6 Nasty Nati Classic Block B Match Michael Diablo (2) vs. Scotty Swift (4)
Since Block A closed out the last two shows, I thought it was only fair that Block B got the spotlight this time around. Although Diablo was fighting for nothing but pride at this point, this was a very important match for Swift as he needed a win here so he can even have a chance to make it to the finals. The action was very mat-based in the early goings as both guys are fairly decent technicians and worked a slow methodical pace, trying to find flaws in the other’s game that they can exploit. It seemed as if Swift had the slight edge on the mat which prompted Diablo to switch up the pace of the match with his high-impact, often high-angle Suplexes. At one point, he actually dead-lifted Swift up for a German Suplex while the veteran was resting on the mat! Combine those deadly Suplexes with Diablo just generally being the faster and more agile man (he does have youth on his side), Swift was in a bad way for a good portion of the bout. Still, maybe it was his determination, maybe it was the fans cheering him on, but somehow Scotty managed to survive Diablo’s onslaught and waited for the right moment to strike. That moment came when he caught his opponent with a Lariat seemingly done out of desperation. Instead of going for the pin, he flipped the wildcard of the tournament on his stomach before kneeing him repeatedly him in the head! After 5 or 6 knees, Diablo was practically unconscious but was literally dragged to his feet so Swift could send him right back down to the mat with a Tiger Driver! Three seconds later, that’s all she wrote. [½*]- A sweaty Scotty Swift cuts a short promo after the match hyping up his final match against Shawn Stylez next month that will decide the winner of Block B. Swift says that he’s been in this business for well over 10 years but during all that time, he’s never had the honor of being called a promotion’s top champion. He was always a “solid hand” or the guy that came close in title matches but he never got to actually be THE GUY. “That’s gonna change here in Cincinnati. I’m gonna beat Shawn Stylez and then I’m going on to win the whole thing. I’ve got to prove to not just everybody that’s followed my career but myself that I can be the very best that this company has to offer!” Good “Rah-Rah” promo but I think a lot of fans were more interested in the results of the NXT show by this point as you could see a lot of heads staring down at cell phones. Oh well. Darn kids and their electronics and developmental brands turned touring company. [½*]
If one thing should be taken away from this show, it’s this. HHH can suck it. Match of the Night: Huffington/Manson vs. Cryptic/Scrull Worst Match of the Night: Jay Knox vs. Hypnosis Most Heat of the Night: Scar pulling a fast one in his match with 2-Face NASTY NATI’ CLASSIC LEADERBOARD
Block A Michael Hart (6) Scar (6) Chris Cryptic (4) 2-Face (2) Earl Huffington III (2) Jimmy Moore (2)
Block B
Shawn Stylez (8) Scotty Swift (6) Jay Knox (4) Slash (4) Michael Diablo (2) Hypnosis (0) (lol)
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 20, 2015 0:55:51 GMT -5
June 26th, 2016 Natimatic Night 5 of the Nasty Nati' Classic (End of Block B)
Uh oh, Spaghetti-O’s. Our attendance troubles continue this month as only 27 folks showed up for the show. Around this time last year, I’d be super excited at the idea of 27 people coming to our shitty shows. Two months ago, however, we were drawing 50 people! We didn’t have any competition on this day either so I can’t even blame that. Might be time to re-consider renting out the venue for our anniversary show in August...ah well, I’ll tell Ash after the show. On another note, I hope you didn’t get too attached to Nightmare Manson since he ended up tearing his left calf muscle while working a show over in Chicago last week. Doctor says that he’s gonna be on the shelf for at least 8 months so Earl just lost his bodyguard for the foreseeable future. Oh, and just in case I thought things couldn’t get any shitter, some jabroni fan at the show stepped on my brand new Yeezy Boosts that I just took out the box. Needless to say, he was immediately ejected from my backyard. That’s enough talk about my struggle or I might cry. Let’s get this shit over with! Match #1 Non-Tournament Match Scyther vs. Marty Scrull
This says more about the usual quality of our openers than anything else but this winds up being a good opener by our standards. It’s not quite a squash match but it’s pretty damn close as Scrull took control of the match a few minutes in and never gave Scyther much of a chance to recover. Always confident, Scrull took a few moments out to flirt with women at ringside but still manageed to get the job done as he put Scyther away with a Double Underhook Suplex that he calls “Graduation.” Not sure what that move has to do with Kanye West but ok. After the match, Scrull convinced a fine young lass in the front row to go behind the curtain with him so they can presumably go and play board games. Or bone, one of those two. [¼*]Match #2 Nasty Nati Classic Block B Match Slash (4) vs. Hypnosis (0)
The perennial jobber of Block B, Hypnosis, has one final chance to get on the board as he takes on the methodical and twisted Slash. This shit don’t really matter in the grand scheme of the tournament since Block B is gonna be decided in the Swift/Stylez match but hey. These two had a match back in January where Slash practically squashed Hypnosis and this match looked like it was destined to go the same way as Hypnosis got in some token offense at best while Slash had his way with him for essentially the entire match. Then, it happened. Similar to how he ended their last match, Slash hoisted the white boy Luchadore up for a Buckle Bomb. Unlike last time, Hypnosis somehow managed to counter the move with a Sunset Flip (which was botched because it’s freaking Hypnosis) and managed to cradle Slash for a three count! THE BOYHOOD DREAM HAS BEEN REALIZED FOR HYPNOSIS! The crowd gave a shockingly big reaction to the upset victory as Hypnosis immediately fled from the ring and celebrated his win in the crowd as Slash just stared on in disbelief from the ring. Fun fact: this is the first win Hypnosis has ever gotten in NNW. Yeah, I’d be considering hanging up them boots too, Slash. [-*]
Match #3 Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match Earl Huffington III (2) vs. Jimmy Moore (2) (w/ Nikki Alderton)
Both of these men have virtually been eliminated from their block but every match in the Nati’ Classic must take place (unless somebody has to forfeit, of course) so we get this match. Not even acknowledging the absence of Nightmare Manson (despite some geeks in the crowd yelling, “WHERE IS YOUR BODYGUARD!?”), Huffington got on the mic before the match and offered the mute wrestler $100 to lay down for him. Being a proud babyface, Moore initially refused but had to re-think his decision when Huffington offered him $200 to lie down. He hesitated for a second but, after some reassurance from the lovely Nikki at ringside, again refused to take the money. Clearly frustrated, Huffington said that his reputation was riding on him not finishing last in his block and he was willing to pay any price to make sure that didn’t happen. Taking out his wallet, Huff continued to pull out hundred dollar bills. $200 became $300, which turned into $400, which turned into $500, and so on. With each additional bill in Huffington’s hands, Moore’s eyes grew wider and wider but Nikki screamed at him to keep his focus and not take the bribe. Unfortunately for Nikki, a wise man once said that “everybody’s got a price” and that was proven true tonight when Huffington had a total of $1000 in his hand. Seeing more money than he’s probably made in his entire career up to this point, Moore ignored the protests of his valet and snatched the money out of Earl’s hands before lying down. Nikki could only shake her head in disappointment as her client rubbed the cool cash all over his face while Huffington placed a single foot on his chest and got two more points! A couple fans booed but I think most of them were just happy that they didn’t have to see Moore wrestle a real match. [-*]- Even though he’s not scheduled to compete this month, the super popular Michael Hart comes out for a short “Rah-Rah” promo before our next match. Hart says that tournaments like the Nasty Nati Classic are the reason why he made the decision to come wrestle in the US full-time. Not only does he get to entertain the fans RIGHT HERE IN CINCINNATI (*pause for cheap pop*), he also gets to prove himself against some of the hottest talent on the wrestling scene. If Hypnosis is one of the hottest talent on the scene, what has happened to this great sport? Anyway, after promising victory against Earl Huffington in their match next month, Hart asks the crowd if they mind if their first champion isn’t an native-born American. “If it helps any, I love football, the Simpsons, and feel very confident in saying that the Wu-Tang Clan should not be messed with.” Apparently, that does help as the fans chant Hart’s name. Not a bad promo, all in all. [52%]Match #4 Nasty Nati Classic Block B Match Jay Knox (4) vs. Michael Diablo (2)
Another match where nothing but pride is on the line as two vastly different personalities (and ring styles) collide here. The drunken, unpredictable nature of Knox provides an interesting styles clash with Diablo’s more methodical and calculated offense and results in a pretty decent match. The finish came when Knox found himself locked in the Diablo Lock (Boston Crab) smack dab in the middle of the ring and was forced to submit. After the match, Diablo extended his hand to his defeated foe as a sign of respect but Knox surprisingly blows him off as he simply walks right past him and heads to the back while drinking from his flask. Huh. Wonder what that’s all about? [¼*]- Much to the annoyance of 2-Face, his Devil’s Advocate stablemate Scar asks for a mic before 2-Face’s final Nati’ Classic match against Chris Cryptic. With Slash looking super salty in the background after his earlier loss to Hypnosis, Scar says that he’s gonna bust up any rumors that may be going around that the Devil’s Advocate is about to disband after last month’s…”friction” between him and 2-Face. According to Scar, he and 2-Face have since patched things up (2-Face still doesn’t look particularly happy but he does silently nod his in agreement) and everything’s good between them. “After all, it’s not my fault that Europeans fall for the most basic tricks in the book. Us Americans are just smarter. I mean, think about it. What could ol’ 2-Face have possibly learned in Sweden other than how to be neutral?” To his credit, 2-Face keeps his cool at the shade being thrown at him although his eye does twitch a few times. The Angel of Hate concludes the promo by telling 2-Face to soften Cryptic up for him so he’ll be easy pickings next month! [49%] Match #5
Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match 2-Face (2) vs. Chris Cryptic (4)
The in-ring action really hasn’t been strong today (well, it never is but this day is weak even by our incredibly low standards) so I was rubbing my hands together furiously in the hopes that these two would have a good match. Sure enough, my dreams came true and this winds up being one of the better matches in the tournament. Not just wanting to help out his stablemate Scar but also wanting to prove something to himself, 2-Face looked like he had a chip on his shoulder as he took nearly every cheap-shot that ref Ash would allow him to have, always coming close to breaking the rules but never being blatant enough about it to justify a DQ. Still, Cryptic would not be denied this month as he rallied his way back in the match and soon hoisted up the Europrick for the GTS! Not only does this give Cryptic two much-needed points, it also has to give him some confidence going into his final tournament match against Scar next month. [¾*]- It’s time for the winner of Block B to be decided as Shawn Stylez appears to be as confident as ever as he saunters out for his match against Scotty Swift. After snatching the mic away from ring announcer Laughing Larry, Stylez holds up four fingers before speaking. “4 wins. 8 points. 0 losses. That’s my record in the Nati’ Classic so far. It has no blemishes, no flaws, no mistakes. It’s just like me...absolutely perfect. And that’s what it will be after I’m done with Scotty Swift. Perfect. Nasty Nati’ Wresting deserves a champion that’s perfect.” [49%]Match #6 Nasty Nati Classic Block B Match Shawn Stylez (8) vs. Scotty Swift (6)
The stakes were very high in this one as the winner would clinch Block B and go on to the finals in two months to fight for the NNW Championship. Despite the low attendance for this show, the crowd was red hot for this one as they went nuts any time that Swift was on offense and made no bones about getting on The Stylish One’s case whenever he did something dastardly to gain the advantage. After 15+ minutes of back-and-forth action, Swift looked to be hitting his stride as he had Stylez bouncing all over the ring from Bionic Elbows before trying to go for Splash Mountain in the corner. In a prime example of being bitch-made, Stylez yanked the ref in front of him, causing Swift to inadvertently squash Ash since he can’t stop his momentum in time! Only briefly concerned with the ref’s well-being, Swift quickly returned his attention to Stylez as he ducked under a punch before planting him with a Side Effect-style Uranage. Feeding off the crowd’s energy, Swift does some flexin’ that indicates that he’s going for the Tiger Driver. When the veteran tried to lift Stylez up for the move, he’s met by a quick Uppercut to the nuts! Stylizer!!! The crowd was losing their shit as Stylez revived the ref before throwing himself onto Swift. One. Two. SWIFT KICKED OUT! How the hell did he do that!? Stylez was in disbelief as a nut shot had brought him victory in nearly all of his tournament matches up to this point. After attempting to cover Swift two more times (and Swift kicked out two more times), Stylez decided that the ref’s “slow” counting was to blame so he started getting uppity with young Ash. This gave Swift enough time to recover and nearly put Stylez through the mat with a Tiger Driver! Swift hooked the leg as Ash dropped down to count. One. Two. Stylez got his foot on the ropes! Mentally cursing himself out for his mistake, Swift tried to lift Stylez up for perhaps another Tiger Driver but was thwarted as Stylez had enough ring awareness to roll out of the ring in an attempt to recover. The Stylish One was practically running away as Swift was forced to chase him around the ring for a full lap in an attempt to get a hold of him. Stylez, rolling into the ring first, tried to jump Swift as he came back but only runs into another barrage of Bionic Elbows. After about four or five elbows, he grabbed Stylez by the hair and held him in place for one final elbow. Of course, he had to get funky like a monkey in honor of Dusty before hitting it. Or at least, trying to hit it as Stylez somehow escaped Swift’s grasp and rolled him up with a Schoolboy Rollup! Unbeknownst to the generous amount of Swift’s singlet that Stylez was holding on to, Ash counted to three and awarded the win (and Block B) to Stylez! [¼*]
A couple of fans actually throw trash into the ring as Stylez celebrates his win in an overly obnoxious manner like only he can, holding up five fingers the entire time. His methods may not have been the most honest but like him or not, The Stylish One lived up to his word. He is going into the finals with a perfect record! I’m actually pleasantly surprised with how this main event turned out. Stylez really isn’t any good in the ring so I was really reluctant to put him in the main event slot but to the pizza boy’s credit, he delivered. You know, before this match, I had cold feet about giving him the title because I thought he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the in-ring aspect but he proved me wrong here. Maybe he really should win at the Anniversary show...ah well, I still got a couple of months before I make a final decision. After the show, I tracked down Ash and told him that I was putting the big negatory on the plans to get an actual venue for the Anniversary show. “Sorry boss, I already contacted the folks over at the Great Miami Event Center. HWA used to run shows there all the time. It seats up to 150 folks and I already gave them a $1,500 down payment to reserve it for the show in August.” Ash, you stupid bastard. I basically cut a promo on him for his stupidity while he tried to defend himself by saying that he just did what I asked him to do. “Don’t you come at me with facts!”, I screamed. Never mind the down payment as annoying as that is. 150 PEOPLE!?!? Christ, we aren’t even gonna be able to fill that place up half-way. What a disaster this is gonna be. Yeezus, take the wheel. Best Match: 2-Face vs. Chris Cryptic Worst Match: Slash/Hypnosis. It could have been Huffington/Moore but that doesn’t count since they didn’t have an actual match. Most Heat: Shawn Stylez, Bay-Bay~! NASTY NATI’ CLASSIC LEADERBOARD Bold indicates Block Winner
Block A Chris Cryptic (6) Michael Hart (6) Scar (6) Earl Huffington III (4) 2-Face (2) Jimmy Moore (2)
Block B Shawn Stylez (10) Scotty Swift (6) Michael Diablo (4) Jay Knox (4) Slash (4) Hypnosis (2) (Started from the bottom, now we here)
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Sept 27, 2015 22:21:38 GMT -5
July 31st, 2016 Thank Nati' Later Night 6 of the Nasty Nati' Classic (End of Block A)
When I counted out 36 folks in the crowd right before the show started, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, at least the attendance was trending upwards. On the other hand, this was well below our peak attendance and not even enough to fill ⅓ of the venue we are using next month. Somehow, this is all Ash’s fault and I hate him for it. Anyway, the winner of Block A will be decided tonight so here’s to hoping everything goes well. Let’s get it on! - Before the in-ring action starts, the show opens with one of the competitors in the main event, Michael Hart, coming out to sign autographs and slap hands with fans. He’s busy flexin’ for the gram’ when he’s struck in the knee with a riot-baton by...a fan? But Hart was never a member of the Shield! Taking full advantage of the fact that we have no security and there’s no rail separating fans from the talent, the fan gets in a few good shots before Laughing Larry and a few of the boys from the back pull him off the Canadian and drag him off the property. The fan could be heard shouting “f*** yo couch!” as he was dragged away for some reason. Our local nurse (BTW, did I forget to mention we can now afford to have a backstage medical person in case somebody gets hurt? Thank you, Based Sponsors) comes out to check on Hart, who insists that it’s “really not that bad.” Despite him trying to downplay the severity of his injury, he crumbles as he tries to limp to the back and has to be helped by the nurse and Larry. One has to wonder if he’s even gonna be able to compete against Earl Huffington later on. And why the hell did that fan attack Michael Hart??? Savagery and mystery. What a way to start a show! [53%]Match #1 Non-Tournament Match 2-Face (w/ Slash) vs. Hypnosis
This month’s opening match stems from last month as 2-Face looked to avenge the embarrassing L that his stablemate, Slash, caught last month against everybody’s favorite (not really) white boy luchadore. The match itself is kept fairly short with the action being about as poor as you would expect from one of our openers. The finish is really all that matters here as 2-Face, having controlled most of the match using his size advantage, tried to go for a German Suplex but Hypnosis somehow turned it into...what was supposed to be a Victory Roll. Goddamn it, I knew that move was too complicated for Hypnosis. He’s so freaking lucky he’s not as trash as his sister is hot. Anyway, Hypnosis hit the Botched Piece Of Shit and cradled 2-Face for three! That’s two wins in a row for the biggest geek in all of NNW! Unfortunately, unlike last month, Hypnosis didn’t bail from the ring fast enough after his victory as he was jumped from behind by Slash. The two heels put the boots to Hypnosis before Slash lifted him up for a devastating Buckle Bomb! This is gonna go down in the record books as a win for the white boy Luchadore but he certainly didn’t look like a winner after the match. [-*]
Match #2 Non-Tournament Match Jay Knox vs. Marty Scrull
Coming off a decent albeit somewhat unimpressive performance in the Nati’ Classic, Knox looked to rebound here as he took on the ladies man Marty Scrull. Before the match, Scrull gave a lucky female in the crowd a piece of paper with his number on it, not so subtly letting her know that she could get the 4th letter in the alphabet. I was hoping these two would deliver a good match since their styles are so similar and they didn’t let me down. This match featured lots of flippy-doos and high-spots to make the crowd go “oooh” and “ahh.” In the end, it was a Swanton Bomb that secured the victory for Knox. [*]- After the match, Jay Knox snatches the mic away from Laughing Larry and says that over the course of his career, he’s never backed down from anybody. He’s won a lot of fights and lost a lot of fights. He’s not ashamed to admit when he got his ass whooped, that’s just part of the game. “For whatever f***ing reason though, I just can’t get losing last month out of my head. Diablo, you gotta give me a rematch at next month’s anniversary. Come on, I got a bottle of Jack Daniels with your name on it if you accept!” It isn’t long before “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo comes out. Diablo basically says that Knox can keep his alcohol for himself since he doesn’t drink but he’s totally down for a rematch next month. The two shake hands to solidify the agreement as Larry plugs our Anniversary show over the mic, saying the address of the new building like 4 times in 10 seconds and reminding fans that tickets were selling fast (lolno) so they better buy their tickets before they leave today! Please, for the love of God, buy tickets. [53%]Match #3 4-Corners Match Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) vs. Michael Diablo vs. Scyther vs. Ryan Eagles
Diablo just chilled in the ring after his confrontation with Knox since he was in the next match anyway. There was a NNW debut here as Ryan Eagles is a cat from Australia that was getting a lot of buzz for his work over there. He’s pretty pricey for our size due to the cost of his travel expenses but he’s worth it because of how good he is. Sure enough, he did a damn good job justifying his price tag in this match. Decked out in black and white face-paint which instantly made him stand out, Eagles clicked with fans almost immediately. Jaw-jacking with fans whenever he was on the apron, he quickly proved that he was a notch above most of our roster whenever he finally did step in the ring. Diablo was the only guy that could kinda sorta keep pace with him and Moore looked like this was literally his first week of wrestling school compared to him. The “Suplex Artist” lived up to his new moniker that I’m gonna shove down everybody’s damn throat by getting in a few explosive throws but this match largely ended up being a showcase for Eagles. A Headlock Driver to Scyther secured the newcomer an impressive win his debut. [¼*]- Before the first of two Block A matches that will determine who he faces next month, Shawn Stylez came out to ride his own nuts like it helps his teeth stay white. He reminds the crowd that he won his block with a perfect record. “To quote a wise man, it was all hustle. No luck.” The Stylish One says that it’s only fitting that the “hottest human alive” (“Your mama doesn’t think so!”, Grandma Stylez helpfully interjects) is on a hot streak. According to Stylez, it doesn’t matter who ends up winning Block A because they are just going to have to face him. “I can’t be beaten”, says Stylez. Stylez concludes his promo by promising to be a marketable champion as the NNW Championship will appear in magazines all over the world all because it’s around his gorgeous waist. Great, great stuff by Stylez. Dude has been bringing that fire recently. [63%]
Match #4 Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match Chris Cryptic (6) vs. Scar (6)
Initially, this was supposed to be Earl Huffington III vs. Michael Hart but that match swapped places with this match so Hart could have a little more time to heal up enough to be ready to go for his block match. This was a must-win situation for both men as a victory here would (possibly temporarily) make them the leader of Block A. In the case of Cryptic, he’s hoping that Hart doesn’t win in the main event as he would lose a tie-breaker to him. Scar, on the other hand, only has to focus on this match as a win here would allow him to automatically clinch his block due to his victory over Hart earlier in the tournament. Very physical match here as both men badly want the win and were willing to put their bodies on the line to secure the victory. The result is a wild match that has fans running out of their chairs out of fear of getting in the way of a dive or the two exchanging blows. The finish caught nearly everybody off-guard, however, as Cryptic ended up diving through the middle ropes to essentially hit a Spear on Scar who was standing on the apron. Both men’s bodies violently crashed into the hard ground as the ref soon began his count. Both men clawed and scratched their way to the ring but neither man could find the strength to get up, having to use the ring apron for support. By the time they got to their feet, the ref’s count had reached ten and he called for the bell! It’s a...double count-out? What da hale? [47%]- As both men regain their bearings, Larry announces on the mic that the match has been ruled a draw and as a result, both men will be awarded one point! Upon hearing the news, Scar put the pieces together in his head and realized that there was a possibility that he could not make it to the finals if Hart managed to win his match. The Angel of Hate didn’t take this news well, to put it mildly. He began screaming at the ref, demanding that he restart the match so he could kill this beat-nick and get his damn title match. Ash, despite looking like he was ready to piss his pants, stood his ground and refused. The confrontation escalated to the point that Chris Cryptic tried to intervene by being like “take a chill pill, brah” but he's only rewarded by a punch to the face from Scar! Turning his frustrations to his opponent, Scar begins laying into the fan favorite, only pausing to call for reinforcements in the form of Slash and 2-Face. It’s practically a mugging in the ring as all three men work over Chris before Slash and 2-Face holds his arms in place so Scar can nail him in the head with his lead pipe. At least, that was their plan until Scotty Swift and Hypnosis hit the ring with chairs in hand to make the save! That kinda begs the question of what the hell took these two so long to run out but oh well. The dastardly heels bail from the ring and retreat to the back, Scar promising the entire way back that he was far from done with Cryptic. [46%]
Match #5 Nasty Nati Classic Block A Match Earl Huffington III (4) vs. Michael Hart () (6) Realistically, Huffington has no real chance of winning the block at this point and is basically just fighting to up his reputation by having a strong record in the tournament and to be a dick by playing spoiler for Hart. Despite this, he grabs the mic after making his entrance to ask the obvious question. Can Michael Hart still compete? “Boy, it sure is a shame about that fan attacking him. Almost as if somebody paid that guy off to do it...nah, nobody could be that dastardly.” Thankfully, most of the fans realized that Huff really meant “yeah, I totally could be that dastardly” and begin booing the rich snob. Talking over the “You Suck!” chants, Huff says if Hart doesn’t walk out from behind the curtain in the next 10 seconds, he demands that ref Ash award him the victory via forfeit! Despite protests from the crowd, Ash starts counting after being slipped a 50 dollar bill by Huffington. Right before the count can reach 9, however, Hart comes hobbling out from behind the curtain. He’s obviously still favoring the leg but upon climbing into the ring, he demanded that Ash ring the bell! Huffington mockingly offered him one last chance to forfeit but Hart responded with some stiff forearms to Huff’s face. Fueled with babyface fire and rage, the Canada native actually had Huff on the backfoot for the first minute or so of the match but quickly started showing the effects of his bad leg. It wasn’t long before the leg turned into one big target for Huff as he went after it without remorse, even locking in a Bret Hart-style Figure Four around the ring post at one point. When Huff started going for submissions, pretty much the only thing that kept Hart alive was his own mastery of submission holds as he relied on his knowledge to get out of holds. At one point, Hart actually managed to trip up Huff and almost slapped on the Sharpshooter but collapsed due to the pain in his leg before he was able to turn his opponent over on his stomach. After a few more minutes of Huff in control, things turned around for Hart as he managed to counter a Huffington springboard attempt with a Schnozbuster 83 (Double Knee Facebuster)! The pain in his leg was too much, however, as he was unable to even roll over on top of Huff for a cover, causing both men to just lay on the mat selling. With both men running low on gas by this point, they began trading blows upon getting to their feet, each man staggering after getting hit before refusing to go down. The stalemate appeared to be broken when Hart began getting the better of the exchange with Huff having no response to getting nailed in the face repeatedly. Biting off the Rock’s style, Hart spat into his hand before delivering one last punch that causes Huff to go stumbling backwards. It looked like he was going to fall through the ropes but it turned out that he was just rebounding off the ropes so he can hit the Nigel Lariat! WAIT! Hart had it scouted! He ducked under the clothesline before slipping behind him and delivering a Ripcord Clothesline! Any more wrestlers we can steal from tonight? Apparently, the answer is “yes” as Hart, after mentally psyching himself up to ignore the pain shooting through his leg, lifted Huff back up just so that he could hook him up for a Vertebreaker! Holy shit, that’s like 9.2 on the “head-droppy” scale! All but falling onto Huff’s body before hooking his leg, the crowd counted along with the ref as he counted to 3. Hart is going to the finals! [**]
Excellent main event to close out the show. With that, the Round Robin portion of the tournament has been completed and the finals are locked in. Either Michael Hart or Shawn Stylez is going to be the first ever NNW Champion. It...could honestly go either way. Both guys have upsides and downsides to them. I can’t really focus on that right now though. I gotta get to work on selling some of these damn tickets for our Anniversary show! I’m not saying I’ll go on the street corner to sell em’ but don’t think I’m too proud to not do it. Best Match: Michael Hart vs. Earl Huffington III Worst Match: Hypnosis vs. 2-Face Most Heat: Shawn Stylez, Bay-Bay NASTY NATI’ CLASSIC LEADERBOARD Bold indicates Block Winner
Block A Michael Hart (8) Chris Cryptic (7) Scar (7) Earl Huffington III (4) 2-Face (2) Jimmy Moore (2)
Block B Shawn Stylez (10) Scotty Swift (6) Michael Diablo (4) Jay Knox (4) Slash (4) Hypnosis (2) (Started from the bottom, now we here)
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Oct 2, 2015 22:41:54 GMT -5
August, 2016
Press Release for NNW’s 1st Anniversary Show, Started From The Bottom Posted to Facebook by Magic
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, are you ready for the best shit you’ve seen in your entire life? Like, if a wrestling show could go Super Sayian God? Well, you’ve come to the right Facebook post! On August 27th, Nasty Nati Wrestling holds it’s biggest show ever. A show meant to commemorate the 1 year anniversary of us defying the struggle. At the Great Miami Event Center, NNW presents “Started From The Bottom!” Tickets are on sale now so feel free to slide into the DM’s to place your order. The full card can be found below: Special Challenge Match “Sweetness” Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) vs. Ryan Eagles
Last month, Ryan Eagles made his successful NNW debut by winning a 4-way match that involved Jimmy Moore. After the show, Nikki Alderton, still salty that Moore let himself be bribed into forfeiting his last Nati’ Classic match, read Moore the riot act. She basically told her client that he needed to stop dicking around and take his career more seriously if he wanted to be seen as a top star in NNW. Like any man that gets chewed out by bae, Moore felt obligated to step up to the plate and signaled to Nikki that he wanted a match with Eagles at the Anniversary show. Eagles quickly accepted the offer and this match was made. Will Moore make his manager proud or will Eagles catch another body? Tag Team Match Da Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett) vs. Earl Huffington III & Scyther
Making their NNW debut, Da Soul Touchaz are probably best known for their stint in Chikara (in addition to working a few other indie feds) several years ago. Portrayed as kind of a comedy act for years, Acid Jaz and Marshe Rockett are looking to reinvent themselves by coming to the Nasty Nati’ with a renewed passion for wrestling. Their opponents are a bit of a make-shift team but formidable nonetheless as Earl Huffington teams with Scyther to “welcome the new guys to the territory”, as they put it. This one should be an exciting, fast-paced match with lots of flippy shit and who doesn’t love that?
Rematch from the Nati’ Classic “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo vs. “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox
These two men faced off on the last night of Block B in a match that saw Diablo pick up the win. Not happy with the loss, Knox has a chance to redeem himself here as the two face off one more time. The big question is whether or not Knox will be able to draw on his previous match with Diabo to find the key to defeating him here.We’ll just have to wait until August 27th to find out. Open Challenge Marty Scrull vs. As the card for “Started From the Bottom” was being finalized, Scrull felt that he was being overlooked by the “powers-that-be” as there was no word on any opponent for him on this show. Having gotten tired of waiting, Scrull has decided to take matters into his own hands and is issuing an open challenge. He’s inviting ANY wrestler on the planet to come take him on at NNW’s biggest show ever. It could be Jay Lethal. It could be Seth Rollins. It could even be Son Goku making his wrestling debut! If it winds up being way lamer than any of those guys, don’t get mad at me. It’s all totally Scrull’s fault. Six Man Warfare! Relaxed Rules Chris Cryptic, Hypnosis, & Scotty Swift vs. Devil’s Advocate (Scar, Slash, & 2-Face)
Ever since it’s inception, Devil’s Advocate have been a thorn in the side of several NNW superstars. The group, formed out of each member’s mutual love for destruction and suffering, once gave Scotty Swift a concussion thanks to a Spike Piledriver onto a steel chair. They’ve also targeted Hypnosis in recent months due to his shocking victory over Slash in the Nati’ Classic. And of course, Scar still has a huge bone to pick with Chris Cryptic since he feels like Cryptic “cost” him the NNW Championship because of their draw last month. It all comes to a head this month as three men that have all had their issues with Devil’s Advocate join forces to take on the evil faction in a Relaxed Rules match. Basically, ref Ash has been given the order to give the competitors as much leeway as needed in order for a decisive winning team to be decided. In other words, practically everything short of pulling a knife or a gun on someone is gonna be allowed in this match. This looks to be one wild match on paper so one can only imagine how it’s gonna play out in reality. You gotta be at the Great Miami Event Center on the 27th to find out! Finals of the Nasty Nati’ Classic Winner Becomes Inaugural NNW Champion Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match “Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart
This is the big one. Six months of fierce tournament action has brought us to this. Michael Hart, the winner of Block A, taking on Shawn Stylez, the winner of Block B. Both men have different assets that they are bringing to this match. Hart will undoubtedly have the support of the fans during the match and he’s an excellent technician that’s not afraid to go high-risk when he feels it’s necessary. This is easily the biggest match Hart has had in the States since moving here and that has to put pressure on him to perform. On the other side of the ring stands Shawn Stylez. Not only does he boast an undefeated record during the block portion of the tournament, he has not been pinned or submitted at all in NNW this year. He’s coming in with the confidence that only an undefeated fighter can have and considering what a huge part the psychological aspect plays in this sport, that could be the confidence he needs to walk out of this match as the first NNW Champion. Stylez may not be as technically sound as Hart but there is no one on the roster that’s more cunning and devious than him. If there’s a shortcut to be taken, you best believe that Stylez will take it. This is gonna be one for the ages as two of the absolute best that NNW has to offer face off to decide who will be crowned our very first champion. Look at that damn card again and tell me you aren’t a bit aroused right now. Now, I ain’t saying that this show will change the business forever. I AM saying that NNW is gonna go balls deep on the industry with this show. You gotta be there live to see it, daddy. Tickets are available NOW for $20 per ticket. Don’t come to my backyard because nobody will be there and you’ll look like a fool and my neighbors will probably call the cops on you for being all creepy lookin’ in somebody else’s backyard. I don’t want that and I know you don’t either so buy some damn tickets!!!
So, I kinda lied about the “you gotta be in the building to see the show” part of the press release. In addition to being the first NNW show held in an actual venue, Started From the Bottom is gonna go down as the first NNW show to ever be...recorded. You read that right, kids. After worrying like crazy about not getting enough people into the building on the 27th, I finally shrugged my shoulders and went, “f*** it.” I had started this NNW thing as something to do for fun once a month and to prove that I could murk all every show TNA puts out (which I succeeded in but so did the paint that’s drying on my walls right now) but, almost by accident, it’s grown into something more than that. It’s...my baby. I’ve invested way too much time and effort to just give up on it so hey, why not try to have a serious go at this whole “rasslin’ promoter” thing? I’ve already applied for my license to promote shows in the state and everything. In addition to that, I’ve put some real money into advertising the show, hanging up flyers in any place where the police are too slow to catch me. Really, the recording of this show is gonna be for historical purposes more than anything since I would at least like to have video evidence that this thing actually existed in the (pretty likely) event that we go belly-up in six months or something. Lord knows if we’ll actually sell DVD’s of this shit but hey, if the demand’s there, that’s another source of income for us. Now that most of the boring business stuff has been taken care of, it’s time to answer one very important question. Who’s gonna win the Nati’ Classic and be our first champion? Michael Hart or Shawn Stylez? Hart is clearly the better worker and a very popular character but Stylez is an absolute heat magnet. He’s really caught fire with this undefeated deal that he’s doing right now and it seems like a real waste to kill it off now. If I build it up for long enough, it could actually do really good business when he eventually drops the belt. On the other hand, I’m of the opinion that it’s much easier to book a face as your first champion than a heel simply due to the face having more option for challengers as he can wrestle heels and other babyfaces. Plus, Hart is basically guaranteed to have better matches champion than Stylez ever could. ...I don’t know. I just can’t decide who should get the nod. It’s to the point where I start the day supporting one guy and end it supporting the other. There’s only one way for a great intellectual like myself to make this incredibly difficult decision. I gotta flip a coin. Heads for Stylez, Tails for Hart. Let’s see who gets the strap, brother. … Huh. Well, who am I to doubt El Coin Flip? That’s the guy that’s getting the title. And no, you aren’t finding out who it is in this preview, you goober.
Get in some predictions for Started From the Bottom if you want.
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Oct 3, 2015 2:27:39 GMT -5
I think my boy Michael Hart's got this.
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Post by cageking666 on Oct 3, 2015 5:45:32 GMT -5
I think my boy Michael Hart's got this. Nah brah Stylez is that guy
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Hawk Hart
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Sold his organs.
The Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best That There Ever Will Be
Posts: 15,296
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Post by Hawk Hart on Oct 3, 2015 11:22:40 GMT -5
I think my boy Michael Hart's got this. Nah brah Stylez is that guy Stylez is so bad his grandmama doesn't even think he'll win.
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Post by Malibu Albino on Oct 3, 2015 12:34:41 GMT -5
Got to give it to Stylez dude is reliable on the mic and decent in the ring he's the perfect first champion. Plus, whoever finally beats him will be over like rover because of all the build.
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Waffel113
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Ain't no Rap Mobile with his Waffels
Posts: 19,020
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Post by Waffel113 on Oct 3, 2015 12:53:10 GMT -5
It's gotta be Hart. He's pretty clearly the best in-ring guy Nasty Nati has, so to put the belt on him would at least lead to buzz building because he can carry people to good title matches.
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Nov 27, 2015 17:15:33 GMT -5
August 28th, 2016
Started From The Bottom
35 people. 35 f***ing people. That’s how many had showed up to the 150-seat Great Miami Event Center for what was supposed to be our biggest show ever. On the surface, this looks like a pretty big L for us. In reality, this will most likely be our most profitable show ever due to me doubling the prices to offset the cost of the venue. Plus, I brought in this cat by the name of Brian to record the show for us. He’s a student over at the local film college that’s making a few quick bucks by handling the production of the DVD for this show. We’re movin on up, daddy. But still, 35 f***ing people!?!?!? We couldn’t even get this place ⅓ of the way full. I probably should have spread the crowd out more so it’ll look better on the DVD but that sounds kinda hard so I’ll just have to accept looking pretty ghetto. Hopefully, viewers of the DVD will ignore the size of the crowd and recognize that the in-ring action is so fire that Dylan’s jealous of it. Game time, bitches. - Before the actual action starts, the show kicks off with a final face-to-face confrontation between Michael Hart and Shawn Stylez prior to the main event tonight. This segment was also used to showcase the belt that will be awarded to the winner. It’s a replica of the old school Intercontinental Championship since lol, like we could afford anything else. All you need to know is that there was lots of flexin’ and lots of shit talking. When Hart told Stylez to ask his grandma why Hart’s poster was on her wall, both men had to be pulled apart as Stylez tried to take a swing at Hart, sparking a brawl between the two. Chants of “Let Them Fight!” ring out through the crowd as Laughing Larry acts as a hype man by informing the crowd that these two men will get a chance to tear the other apart for the chance to be the first NNW Champion TONIGHT! [52%]Match #1 Special Challenge Match “Sweetness” Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) vs. Ryan Eagles
The opening match of our biggest show ever just wouldn’t be right if it didn’t have a dookie worker like Jimmy Moore. Moore’s manager, the lovely Nikki Alderton (who seems to be exposing more skin by the month. Not that I’m complaining about that), requested this match due to Moore’s lack of FIGHTING SPIRIT~! or something. Basically, she don’t want to be with no scrub. Moore’s opponent, Ryan Eagles, has already proved himself to be a dangerous man after basically dominating a 4-way match last month. After the duo had danced down to the ring to the obnoxious EDM, Alderton gave her man a pep talk. Moore, although silent, seemed very energetic as he reacted to the speech and had his head hyped enough that he turned around and charged at Eagles. Or, more specifically, he charged into Eagles’ boot. The Aussie proved that his domination last month wasn’t just a fluke as he pretty much murks Moore from start-to-finish. There was a brief 20 seconds or so where Moore got in some offense but other than that, he gets whooped like his name was Kunta Kinta. After several minutes of one of the most one-sided matches in NNW history, Moore was practically unconscious after taking a Headlock Driver. Instead of just ending the match, however, Eagles pulled the shoulder up at 2 on the ensuing pinfall. Cold and methodical, Eagles dragged Moore to his feet and drilled him with another Headlock Driver. Since nobody in the crowd really gives a f*** about Jimmy, the fans were actually cheering this and popped even harder when Eagles lifted the shoulder up again and forced Moore up into position for ANOTHER Headlock Driver. Before he can do it, however, Nikki...throws her bra into the ring? Both Eagles and the ref were confused before Nikki explained that she didn’t have a towel and that she wanted the match stopped for Moore’s safety. Ref Ash knew that this was rather unconventional but he also knew that he was in no position to argue with flopping titties so he called for the match to be awarded to Eagles! Our usual bad opener but at least this one served a purpose by putting Eagles over strong. [-*]- As Nikki Alderton attends to her defeated man, Ryan Eagles grabs a mic and cuts a short promo letting everybody know that he was putting both Shawn Stylez and Michael Hart on notice. No matter which one of them wins tonight, he’s coming after their belt. “Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame while you can because after I win the belt, all you’ll be is a footnote in the creation...of my paradise.” [62%]Match #2 “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo
In a rematch of a Block B match from the Nasty Nati Classic, two men with incredibly different lifestyles squared off as Jay Knox looked to redeem himself from his loss in the tournament. It appeared that he had done his homework before the match as he had several of Diablo’s signature suplexes scouted and was able to come up with creative counters to get out of them. Eventually, Diablo got frustrated with all the escapes and decided to take the match to the mat, attempting to lock in the Diablo Lock (Boston Crab) several times only for Knox to escape every time. For all the time and effort that Knox had spent developing a strategy for this match, he just couldn't help himself from indulging in his love of alcohol. Before going for a Frog Splash off the top, the drunkard decided to take a healthy swig from his flask for “good luck.” As he was downing his liquor, Diablo, who had been selling on the mat, revealed that he had been playing possum as he jumped up to his feet and ran up the turnbuckle. Before Knox could react, he was already hooked for a vicious Release Belly-to-Belly Suplex! In a flash, Diablo had flipped the drunkard over on his stomach and slapped on the Diablo Lock! Knox scratched and claw but it seems that in all his research prior to the match, he couldn’t figure an actual escape to the move as he was forced to tap out. Following the match, Diablo tried to show respect to his opponent by offering a handshake. Knox, apparently super salty about having to actually watch tape for a match and still losing, decided to be a sore loser instead. He responded to the gesture by taking a swig from his flask and spitting the liquid right into Diablo’s face! The Suplex Artist was furious when he cleared his eyes of the burning alcohol and tried to go after Knox but Jay bailed from the ring before he could get his hands on him. The fans are unsure how to react to this as Knox, who’s pretty well-liked by fans, was clearly on some hoe shit tonight. Either way, one would have to think this isn’t the last time these two will face off after that bitch move. The match itself was pretty good, about the same level as their Nati Classic match. [*¼]Match #3 Da Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz and Marshe Rockett) vs. Earl Huffington III & Scyther
This match features a NNW debut as CHIKARA alumni Da Soul Touchaz seemed less focused on dancing and more focused on winning as they came down to the ring with little in the way of theatrics. Both men were decked out in traditional wrestling tights and got a pretty good reaction from the fans due to their name value. Huffington and Scyther didn’t seem impressed with the two when they came out but that quickly changed as they were almost immediately put on the backfoot, eating simultaneous Suicide Dives on the outside after a brief skirmish! The crowd was really into this one but there’s really not much to say about it. It mainly served as a showcase for the guys making their debut although Huffington and Scyther made sure to get their shit in with some cool looking moves. After neutralizing Huffington, the faces used a 3D (Note to self: never give this DVD to Jerry McDevitt) to finish off Scyther for the win. Decent match albeit a bit rushed since we gotta get out of this building by a certain time and I wanted to have plenty of time for the main event. [¼*]- It’s time for Marty Scrull’s Open Challenge as the Ladies Man makes his way down to the ring. As per usual, he gives out his number to a female fan in the crowd. He then snatches the piece of paper from the fan and gives it to a much hotter fan that was sitting not too far from her. What a babyface. Anyway, Scurll waits several seconds in the ring, pacing in anticipation of who his opponent is. It’s not quite Son Goku but it turns out to be a recognizable name as Adam Page, of (former) ROH fame, steps out from behind the curtain. The fans give him a huge reaction and treat him like a borderline superstar due to the TV exposure that ROH gave him. They quickly change their tone, however, when Page grabs the mic and buries the entire company. “When I saw an open challenge being hosted by some minor league company called ‘Nasty Nati Wrestling’, I hopped on the first flight to this god-forsaken town. Not only am I giving the fans a treat by giving them a chance to see an internationally known superstar like myself, I’m also giving this rinky-dink little show the star power it needs. You’re welcome, Cincinnati, because I’m gonna make you famous!” What’s funny is, this goofball got cut by ROH months ago and was desperate enough for work that he was willing to work for us. But shhhh, kayfabe brother. [59%]
Match #4 Marty Scrull vs. Adam Page
Have you ever seen a top-level match on an ROH show? You know, the ones that have a million kick outs in them and that probably go a bit too long? This was like those except it had way less heat since there are far less people in the crowd. Nearly all of the big moves were kicked out of in this match. A Superkick, Diamond Cutter, Shooting Star Press, and a Tombstone Piledriver were just a few of the moves that were used and basically no-sold not even a minute later. And of course, out of all those moves, it’s a freaking Double Underhook Suplex that ends the match because that’s Scrull finisher. #IndieWrestling. Still, the fans loved it and this was easily the best match of the night so far. In fact, if this wasn’t the best match in company history, it has to be in the Top 3 at least. [**¼] (Keep in mind that it’s rare for us to get one full star!) Match #5 Relaxed Rules Scotty Swift, Chris Cryptic, & Hypnosis vs. Devil’s Advocate (Scar, Slash, & 2-Face)
Shit’s about to get wild in the semi-main event of the evening as two factions are set to go to war. Swift, Cryptic, & Hypnosis have all had their problems with Devil’s Advocate in the past year or so and they get their chance at revenge here. There’s also been some friction between DA members Scar and 2-Face but they seem to have put that behind them (for now) as a brawl erupted as soon as all six men were in the ring. Lots of plunder and weapon spots in this match since it’s virtually anything goes. Some of the highlights included Swift eating a Coast-to-Coast style Dropkick from Slash while having a trash can placed on his face, Scar getting busted wide open courtesy of a chair getting thrown in his face by Cryptic, and 2-Face getting put through a table that was set-up on the outside thanks to a Moonsault from Hypnosis! At another point in the match, all three of the heels had isolated poor Hypnosis in the ring as his two partners were hurt on the outside. They all took turns delivering thunderous cane shots to the dime store Luchadore’s back, each one causing Hypnosis to writhe on the ground in agony. You could actually see the red marks where the cane had struck him. It got so bad that the ref asked Hypnosis if he wanted to just forfeit the match. To his credit, the Luchadore decided to grown-man his way through the pain and actually spit in Scar’s face as he begged the group to deliver more cane shots! “Bring it, pendejos!”, screamed Hypnosis The fans were going nuts for the act of defiance as Scar looked like he was ready to deliver the finishing blow before being stopped by a Cow Bell hitting him in the side of the head. Where the hell did Swift find that!? Whatever the case is, he used it to run wild on the heels and save his friend from more punishment. The war raged on for a few more minutes until it came down to a good old fashioned finisher fest as each man took time out to hit their signature move on a member of the opposing team. Swift had just planted Slash with a Tiger Driver when he got blasted in the back of the head by Scar and his lead pipe. Taking time out to position a chair upright, Scar then used a Brainbuster to drive the veteran head-first through the chair seat! The pinfall that followed was basically academic as Devil’s Advocate picked up the win on our biggest show ever. The action was alright in this one but the crowd heat really carried it. Hypnosis, in particular, got his biggest reaction, like, ever. [1/2*]Match #6 Finals of the 2016 Nasty Nati Classic Nasty Nati Championship Best 2 out of 3 Falls Match Michael Hart vs. Shawn Stylez
Aw, shucky ducky quack quack. It’s time for the main event and what is, by far, the biggest match in NNW history. Not only is this the finals of the Nati’ Classic but it’s also the inaugural title match to decide the first ever Nasty Nati’ Wrestling champion. In one corner stands the winner of Block A, fan favorite Michael Hart. In the other corner stands the winner of Block B, the undefeated Shawn Stylez who has yet to have lost a match this year. Both of these men would be worthy champions but only one can wear the gold, daddy. To start things off, both men meet in the middle of the ring for a staredown. With the tension so thick you could that cut that shit with a knife, Hart extended his hand, I guess thinking that we follow the Code of Honor now. Stylez, surprisingly, accepted the handshake...and immediately slapped Hart in the face as soon as he let go of his hand! Stylez, being a dillhole, laughed himself stupid at his own douchebaggery but found himself unable to laugh when Hart tackled him to the ground, flipped him on his back, and slapped the shit out of the back of his head! From there, Stylez just couldn’t seem to get anything going as Hart worked him over on the mat, stretching him out with several painful submission holds. After only five minutes of action, The Stylish One found himself trapped in the Sharpshooter and, with nowhere to go as he was in the middle of the ring, had to give up the fall via submission! Stylez hasn’t lost a decision this entire year and Hart just made him tap in minutes! (Hart: 1, Stylez: 0)Having been thoroughly humbled by the ass-whooping he had taken in the first fall, it was clear that Stylez had to re-work his game plan as he tried to catch his breath in the corner during the 30 second rest period between falls. Apparently, that new strategy including running as he bailed from the ring as soon as the bell rung to signify the start of the 2nd fall. Not wanting to give his opponent any more time to rest, Hart gave chase and quickly caught up to the pizza delivery boy. They had a brief tussle which culminated in Stylez raking Hart’s eyes before grabbing a chair from ringside and running into the ring for some reason. Going like “that’s not cool, brah”, ref Ash snatches the chair away from Stylez and goes to toss it out of the ring. What he doesn’t see is Stylez pulling out something small from his tights. It’s impossible to tell what it is at first but as Hart entered the ring and ran towards Stylez, the dastardly heel sprayed some kind of substance into the eyes of Hart! Immediately, the Canadian went down clutching his eyes. That must be pepper spray! As quick as he pulled it out, he puts the can back in his tights just in time for Ash to turn around and see what’s going on. Completely unaware of the blatant cheating by Stylez, he shrugged his shoulders and let the match continue. Maybe he figured Hart lost a contact or something. With Hart blinded and practically defenseless, Stylez essentially dominated the second fall. Hart took a blind swing every now and then in a desperate attempt to hit his opponent but he couldn’t even make contact with Stylez in this condition. It wasn’t long before The Stylish One slipped behind Hart and used the Stylizer (Hangman’s Neckbreaker) to secure the second fall and tie up the score (Hart: 1, Stylez: 1). Hart spent the duration of the rest period desperately trying to clean his eyes, even wiping his face on the ref’s shirt. It didn’t seem to be very effective, however, as he was still stumbling around and unsure of his surroundings. During the first few minutes after the bell had rung, fall #3 looked like it was on it’s way to ending the same as fall #2 as Stylez put the boots to the Canadian import. He even took time out to mock the fans by telling them that their “perfect” champion was almost here. Hart ended up catching a massive break as a reckless Superkick that was thrown in the general direction he thought Stylez’s voice was in ended up nailing his opponent right on the button. Both men were down as Hart frantically rolled to the outside and grabbed a water bottle from a fan in the front row. Using the water to clean out his eyes, Hart took a few seconds to gather himself on the outside before going back in the ring with the intention of beating some ass. And beat ass he did as Stylez was clearly not ready to deal with a fair fight once again. You’d think Stylez was a young Ric Flair with all the bumping he did for Hart’s fiery babyface comeback. The fans were with him every step up of the way as he lit up Stylez’s chest with some knife-edge chops before sending him down to the mat with a Lariat. Somehow, Stylez still had enough awareness to get his knees up when Hart went for a Lionsault! Again, both men laid exhausted on the ground as the crowd cheered for both men, trying to will them on to get up and continue the match. Wait. Somebody just hit the ring with a chair. That’s Scar!!! What da hale? That’s not mah big homie! Either way, both competitors took chair shots to the back before the ref gets laid out by a shot to the head. Scar got some nuclear heat as he grabbed the mic and announced that this main event “has been cancelled. Everybody knows that I got screwed out of my rightful spot in this match by NNW management because they don’t want someone like me holding their belt. Well, too f***ing bad! If I can’t have it, nobody can!” Scar looked like he was ready to continue the destruction with more chair shots but here comes Chris Cryptic to make the save! Scar took a swing at Cryptic, who ducked under the blow and delivered a Van-Damniator style kick that sent he chair into Scar’s own face. Wanting to put the exclamation point on this run-in, Cryptic muscled Scar up before bringing him down on his knee with a GTS. With loud “Thank You, Chris!” chants filling the room, Cryptic kicked Scar out of the ring before heading to the back, making sure to give Scar the two-finger salute before leaving. After all that craziness, both men were still down due to all the damage they had taken over the course of the match. As both men began to stir, Stylez was the first one to his feet and he saw something interesting. The chair that Scar had left in the ring, just waiting on the ground to be used. Noticing that the ref was still out from Scar’s attack, it didn’t long for the wheels to move in the Stylish One’s head and for him snatch the chair up. Despite fans trying to warn him, Hart slowly rose to his feet as Stylez stalked his prey like he was Lioness Nikki Bella. He was ready to feast on the heat of his opponent. When Stylez moved to strike with the chair, his plan ended up backfiring as Hart jumped up and used the Schnozbuster 83’ (Double Knee Facebuster) to send the chair bouncing off his head. Amazingly, Stylez remained on his feet (although his legs were practically jelly) and stumbled backwards into the ropes only to walk right into another Schnozbuster 83’! Hart hooked the Stylish One’s leg as ref Ash crawled into position to make the pin. 1. 2. 3!!!! WE’VE GOT A NEW NASTY NATI’ CHAMPION!!!! (Hart: 2, Stylez: 1) [-*]Streamers were thrown into the ring (Turns out WWE has confetti celebrations trademarked. Who knew?) as the crowd stood on their feet and cheered the new champion as he was awarded his belt for the first time. All of the other babyfaces (well, most of the faces. Jay Knox doesn’t come out) on the roster come out to celebrate with him as Larry does his absolute best to sell this as a special moment over the house mic. Meanwhile, Stylez is damn near in tears at ringside, knowing that his undefeated streak has come to an end. After outperforming 5 other competitors in his block and beating a man that hasn’t beaten all year TWICE in one match, Michael Hart has earned the right to be called the first ever Nasty Nati’ Champion. Never before have you seen a man hold a replica IC title with so much pride. Hart is so hyped that he even invites the fans to come into the ring to celebrate with the wrestlers. It’s a big happy scene to close out the show as Hart sits on the shoulders of fans and wrestlers alike, all chanting his name. Right before the shitty ring we use collapsed and everybody tumbled to the floor. ...Oops. Oh well, just gotta tell Brian to edit that part off the DVD.
All in all, I was pretty pleased with how the show went. Most of the undercard delivered with good matches and the main event, while not a technical masterpiece or anything close to it, told a fun story that really kept the fans’ attention. I might have overbooked just a tiny bit but oh well. This was a decent start to the new chapter in our company’s history. We’re no longer a Backyard fed. Now, we can officially be called a Small company. You know, this wrasllin’ promoter thing might not end up being such a disaster. Oh and f*** you Liberty Kid. I don’t even know where you are right now but EAD. Best Match: Marty Scrull vs. Adam Page (hey, Page was good enough to be a regular for ROH at some point. That’s gotta count for something.) Worst Match: Jimmy Moore vs. Ryan Eagles (I was expecting this so eh.) Most Heat: Scar almost sabotaging the main event/Stylez blinding Hart with pepper spray (It’s basically a tie between these two.
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Dec 6, 2015 17:34:35 GMT -5
September, 2016
In between the money we got from sponsors and the increased ticket sales, Started From the Bottom was one of our most profitable shows ever. I was so pleased with how the show went down that everybody got a bonus of an EXTRA cup of OJ/Ovaltine. When we went to Chipotle after the show, you bet your ass everybody got guac. The DVD of the show was also selling fairly well, much better than I expected at least. I even had a couple folks asking me when we were gonna release more DVD’s. Since that Brian guy works ridiculously cheap, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue to bring him in for all our shows so he can record them and help this fried gold reach the masses. Since all our recent success had me feeling myself like I was Nicki Minaj, I decided to hire a couple more wrestlers to fill out the roster. Trash Lasalle: If you’re anything like me, you’re thinking, “the f*** kind of name is that?” While I personally think it should be Mr. Anderson’s ring name, Lasalle is actually a college dropout with some high school ametur wrestling credentials. He was born in Japan but only lived there for like 2 years before his family moved to America. On the upside, he’s got a good look and has one of the better physiques on the roster as he stands at 6 foot 3 and weighs in at about 260 pounds. That’s like double what Hypnosis would weigh soaking wet with bricks in his pockets. He’s also very charismatic. On the downside, he only started having matches about three months ago so he’s pretty unpolished in the ring. Hopefully, his charisma will be enough to overcome that. Since Trash Lasalle ain’t gonna cut it, he’ll go by Tenryu Inokii.Andrew Everett: One of our most high profile signings to date, Andrew Everett has been creating a buzz for himself for a while by dazzling crowds with his high flying moves. An incredible athlete, he’s wrestled for PWG, CZW, and ROH at some point or another. Not only does he have name value, he’s got plenty of flippy shit that the fans will just eat up. Also, bad news about Laughing Larry. He had recently gotten married to a fine young lass but unfortunately, he died during the honeymoon after a bit too much love making. I was actually a bit choked up when I got the news. Yeah, he was a weird old man but he was OUR weird old man. Still, the show must go on and since we could use commentary for our DVD releases, I’ve went through the trouble of hiring two announcers. Jason Douglas and Steve Jackson are their names, I think. I don’t care, just so long as one of them does ring intro in between match commentary. I’ve also put together the card for our next show, Fear and Loathing in Cincinnati: The debuting Tenryu Inokii vs. Earl Huffington III
“Europrick” 2-Face vs. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo
Tag Team Action The Lost Souls (Scar & Slash) vs. Da Soul Tocuhaz (Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett)
Winner Becomes #1 Contender to NNW Championship 5-Way Free For All Extravaganza~! One Fall to a Finish “Mista Steal Your Girl” Marty Scrull vs. Adam Page vs. “Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Cool” Chris Cryptic vs. the debuting Andrew Everett
NNW Championship “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
Buy a ticket or we might have to run shows in my backyard again.
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Post by nickcave on Dec 16, 2015 15:23:45 GMT -5
This is my absolute favorite diary, I laughed super hard at "Tenryu Inokii."
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jun 12, 2016 15:39:43 GMT -5
Fear and Loathing in Cincinnati [51%] September 25th, 2016
Woah. Last night, I had this weird ass dream that I went back in time and somehow became the head booker of TNA in 2006. There was also this chick that was bad AF named Sophie who I stayed trying to smash. Ah well, guess that’s what I get for eating those brownies Chris Cryptic gave me before bed. Time for the grind to continue! This show can be considered the “unofficial” start of Season 2 for our little company. Kinda like Chikara but significantly more ghetto. - This month’s show, with a not so packed house of 38 fans in attendance, started with a promo from one of the guys making their debut on this show, Tenryu Inokii. Pretty generic “Rah-Rah” promo where he basically says that he’s the new dominant force on the scene and he’s looking to catch a few bodies. There was lots of yelling and INTENSITY~! In the promo as the fans actually responded pretty well to it. The kid can work a stick, brother. [55%]
Match #1 Earl Huffington III vs. Tenryu Inokii
New season. New building. Same shitty ass opener. Goddamn, Tenryu is horrible.The dude looked greener than a blade of grass in the middle of spring time out there. Huffington did all he could and played to the crowd all throughout the match in an effort to distract them from how awful Inokii is but this match was no bueno. Still, call me Vince McMahon because between his size and his charisma, I see a lot of upside in the new guy. Because of that, he picked up the win here with a TKO. A few of the long time fans in the crowd screamed out “Die Hard Driver” since that was the finish of “Nasty Nati Original” Iain Morris but those geeks were ignored as Tenryu celebrated his win. [-*]Match #2 2-Face vs. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo
Both men are coming off big wins at “Started From the Bottom” and were looking to continue their momentum here. Most of the action here was grounded since both guys are decent technicians. The fans got bored during parts of it since I may have scheduled this to go on a bit too long but overall, the match wasn’t bad by our standards. After stringing together a series of Suplexes, he debuted his new finisher, an Olympic Slam that he creatively called the Diablo Slam. The Suplex Artist gets the W! [¾*]
- After Diablo had headed to the back, 2-Face stayed in the ring as The Lost Souls, Scar and Slash, made their way out for their upcoming tag match. After snatching a mic away from the ring announcer, Scar cut a promo on his stablemate as he buried 2-Face for losing so often. “You’re making us look like chumps, man!” As Scar tore into 2-Face, the fans made their displeasure known and the heat only increased when Scar directed his anger towards them. “That’s why all your moms wished she swallowed!” It looked like 2-Face had to physically restrain himself from reacting to the insults but he bit his tongue and simply accepted the abuse. The Angel of Hate told 2-Face to stick around at ringside for the next match so he can learn how to become a winner as they destroyed Da Soul Touchaz. [50%]Match #3 The Lost Souls (w/ 2-Face) vs. Da Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz & Marshe Rockett)
Fun fact: this is actually the first time the Lost Souls have teamed up in NNW in a regular 2 v. 2 tag match. Funny considering I was planning on building around them as the top team in the company when we first started. Anyhoo, I was expecting some goodness here since both teams are pretty experienced and they lived up to my expectations. Lots of back-and-forth action here since ref Ash did a horrible job maintaining order and making sure legal tags occured. f*** it, we’ll just call it an impromptu Lucha Rules match. The end came when Acid Jaz took a spill to the outside and Rockett was planted with a sick looking Powerbomb/Lungblower combo. This reminds me, I need to get around to making some tag titles. Somebody remind me to hit up E-Bay so I can look for some replica WWF tag belts after this show. [*¾]- It just wouldn’t be a Nasty Nati show if we didn’t have a promo from “Stylish” Shawn Stylez. Needless to say, he’s super salty about his loss last month and says that everybody knew he deserved a rematch. “Instead of just giving me the rematch I deserve, the powers that be are forcing me to sweat like an ugly peasant tonight just to earn what’s rightfully mine!” Stylez promises to win the 5-way match tonight and remind everyone why he went undefeated in the block portion of the Nasty Nati Classic. As usual, great promo from Stylez. [58%]Match #4 Winner Becomes #1 Contender to NNW Championship 5-Way Free For All Extravaganza~! “Mista Steal Yo Girl” Marty Scrull vs. Adam Page vs. “Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Cool” Chris Cryptic vs. “The Apex of Agility” Andrew Everett
With a title shot next month against the winner of tonight’s main event on the line, all five competitors left it all in the ring. This was a total stunt show with no hint of story or psychology but it was pretty fun nonetheless. Everybody got a chance to get their shit in with Andrew Everett getting lots of big spots since this was his debut and all. Our fans love flippy shit and this guy has more flippy shit than pretty much anybody in the company right now. The finish didn’t involve him, however, as Page got revenge for his loss last month by pinning Scrull with a Page Turner (Reverse STO). After getting his hand raised, Page made the “I’mma be champion” signal around his waist. [*½]- Before the main event, Jay Knox came out stumbling from behind the curtain with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand. Slurring his words, Knox seemed to be more than a little intoxicated as he talked shit about everyone. And I mean everyone. He buried Michael Diablo for being a “Suplex-spamming bitch.” He buried the two competitors in the main event for being bitches. He buried “Mr. Bookerman” (AKA, me) for not putting him in the #1 contender match despite him being in this company since day one. Oh and he called me a bitch. Knox’s drunken tirade was cut-off by the music of Scotty Swift who came out and tried to talk some sense into his fellow babyface. “Patience is a virtue, my friend. Your time will come. Calling everybody a female dog isn’t going to do you any good!” Knox seemed to shake his head in understanding and shook Swift’s hand, thanking him for calming him down. Knox motioned with his arm for Swift to exit the ring first...so he could smash the bottle of Jack Daniels over his head when Swift turned his back! The fans, who are usually supportive of Knox’s drunken antics, booed the hell out of him as he yelled insults down at Swift as he writhed amongst the alcohol and broken glass in agony. Knox bailed from the ring as we had a brief intermission so our nurse could give Swift medical attention while me and Ash cleaned up the ring. [53%]Match #5 NNW Championship “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
It’s main event time as Michael Hart makes his very first defense of the NNW Championship against a man that’s been nothing short of impressive recently, Ryan Eagles. These are two of the best workers in the company and they proved it as they put on one of the best main events in company history. Hart was on the backfoot for most of the bout as Eagles kept the pressure on with his relentless onslaught of strikes. Hart wasn’t going out like no hoe though so he made sure to get in his fair share of licks. Eagles tried to go for the Headlock Driver at one point but Hart escaped the move and caught the Aussie with a stiff back elbow. The champ quickly bounced off the ropes and nailed Eagles with a Jumping Yakuza Kick! 1-2-NO! Eagles kicked out! Not wanting to let his advantage go to waste, Hart tried to slap on the Sharpshooter but Eagles fought his way out and kicked the champ away. Hart came charging in when the challenger got back to his feet but Eagles ducked under him and hit him with a German Suplex. In a flash, he’s on the top rope and connected with a brutal Double Foot Stomp to Hart’s spine. One. Two. HART KICKED OUT! Eagles can’t believe it! The Assassin doesn’t even waste time arguing with Ash as he immediately dragged Hart to his feet and put him in position for the Headlocker Driver. A couple of hard elbows to the side freed the champ and he hit Eagles with an Enziguri! It didn’t knock him down but it clearly stunned him as Hart tripped him up and hooked his legs. Everybody thought he was going for the Sharpshooter but instead, he proceeded to stomp the shit out of Eagles’ face! After nearly a dozen stomps, Hart finally slapped on the Sharpshooter. Probably having no idea where he even was after all those head stomps and with no way to escape, Eagles was forced to submit. Hart retains the title! [½*]
All in all, I’d say our season opener went pretty well and set the tone for the rest of the season. Bodies will be caught. Hands will be rubbed together. And we will continue to be better than TNA because holy shit, did you see that Hardys contract signing
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jun 14, 2016 18:04:03 GMT -5
October 2016
You know, I realized something the other day. I’ve been so busy running NNW the past year or so that I’ve barely watched any wrestling from other places. I’ve watched the occasional WWE or ROH show but by and large, I’m totally out of the loop with what’s going on outside of our little bubble here in the Nati. After finishing the card for this month’s show, I decided to do some digging on the internet to get a better idea of the current wrestling landscape. Here are some of the notable things I found out. - Not surprisingly, WWE is still the top dog in the yard as the only true global promotion in the world right now. I was kinda amazed to find out that the brand split came back but had to chuckle to myself when I realized that Roman Reigns was the top champion on Raw and John Cena was the main champ on Smackdown. Also, Monty Brown was re-signed for some reason. Some fool’s feeling the POUNCE~! Right about now. - By hook or crook, TNA is still kicking along. Jeff Hardy & Bobby Roode remain two of the company’s biggest stars but surprisingly, they signed Kevin Nash to a deal to be the GM of Impact. Rob Van Dam is also back and they somehow managed to throw enough money at Johnny Gargano to get him to leave NXT and sign a long term deal with them. They did the same with the former Mistico/Mysteziz/Caristico/whatever the f*** he’s going by and convinced him to leave AAA high and dry. They even convinced Samoa Joe to give them another chance by throwing their world title on him. Where they are getting all this money from, I have no idea. I think Bob Ryder’s moving some blue crystal meth for Mama Dixie but that’s just me. Either way, the company’s still far from it’s peak and can only be considered a Cult promotion at this point. Oh and they aren’t even on TV right now, lolololololol. - ROH, PWG, and EVOLVE can be considered National promotions. Yes, PWG finally started running shows somewhere other than Reseda and once they did, business exploded. In a wonderful “f*** you, TNA” moment, ROH managed to snag a time slot on Spike TV for their TV show. Granted, it’s in the graveyard spot but it’s still the most exposure they’ve ever had. The three companies are embroiled in a “not-so-friendly” competition as they joust for the spot of the #2 promotion in America. Really, the main thing stopping any company from leap-frogging over the others is that they rely on a lot of the same talent. It’s a great time to be a big name on the indie scene since you can make BANK working shows for all three companies in addition to whatever other bookings you get. You would think that ROH has the best chance of coming out on top since they are the only ones with a TV presence but I’m telling ya, if somebody can get the money to lock up these freelancers that bounce from show to show, the other two companies are gonna be hurting big time. - South of the border, AAA is the place to be in Mexico. Being more than a bit bothered by Myzteziz jumping ship to TNA, AAA decided to clap back by signing former TNA star Austin Aries to a written deal. In addition to that, they’ve brought in a number of international talent like Kyle O’ Riley, Low-Ki, and Prince Devitt (who was released by WWE due to major budget cuts a year or so ago. I didn’t even know until I googled it) to be regulars on their shows. CMLL is a distant second in the country but are taking full advantage of their working relationship with NJPW to bring in guys like Kushida and Kenny Omega for their bigger shows. - If you’re a fan of SHIMMER/SHINE, I’ve got some bad news for you. The company apparently got tired of being a niche product focused solely on women’s wrestling and has since opened their doors to male competitors. To their credit, they’ve brought in some big names like Adam Cole and Colt Cabana but the soul of the company is kinda lost, from what I understand. Women’s wrestling is still a key focus of the product but it’s taken a backseat to the male performers. They are doing solid business but have also alienated a lot of long time fans in the process. - Oddly enough, Ohio Valley Wrestling went through a bit of boom period as they were touring nationally at one point but they have since cooled off considerably. In fact, business is trending downwards so much that the owner of the company went “I’m straight brah” and stepped down. Right now, the company is chugging along as a Cult promotion but they are gonna be in a holding period until they can find a new owner that hopefully rights the ship before it goes too far off-course. - Finally, in a bit of shocking news, we are NOT the smallest company in the world right now!!! There’s a company called " Wrestling is Life” that operates out of St. Louis that started up a few months ago. Apparently, the shows are pretty decent and there’s one cat in particular that I spotted while checking out Youtube clips of their shows that I want to bring to the Nati at some point. If he’s working for these guys, he must work for cheap. I think that about covers it. The game’s changed in a lot of ways, no doubt about it. Nasty Nati’s got a lot of ground to cover but I know that we can not just survive but thrive in this new environment. To quote one of the greatest storytellers of our generation, Shawn Carter, “the industry is shady, it needs to be taken over.” Oh and Earl Huffington told me that he’s devoted himself to being a religious person now. Yeah and I got some Tru Religion jeans, brah. Don’t see me bragging about it. All I know is your religion better let you act like a rich snob on our shows or you’ll be back to cosplaying as Bobby Hill.
Views From The Nati’ Date: October 30th, 2016 Location: Great Miami Event Center When: Bell Time @ 8 PM Description: NNW presents the second annual “3-Way Spectacular Royal Super Duper Skyline Invitational~~~~!!!” This year’s winner will not only receive a free 3-Way from Skyline Chili but will also receive a NNW Championship match at next month’s show! For those that forget how this works since holy shit, it’s been nearly a year since I posted that show, there will be three 3-way qualifiers. The winner of each 3-way will go onto an elimination 3-way match. Whoever wins that match wins the whole she-bang bang! In addition to that, Chris Cryptic will take on Scar’s best buddy, Slash, in non-tournament action. Jay Knox and Michael Diablo will face off in what can only be described as a grudge match. Finally, in the main event, Michael Hart will defend the NNW Championship against Adam Page!
FULL CARD BELOW:
NNW Championship Adam Page vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
3-Way Qualifier Match “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles vs. “The Apex of Agility” Andrew Everett vs. Tenryu Inokii
3-Way Qualifier Match “The Angel of Hate” Scar vs. Earl Huffington III vs. Hypnosis
3-Way Qualifier Match “Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Mista Steal Yo Girl” Marty Scrull vs. the debuting Christian Slater
3-Way Elimination Match 3-Way Spectacular Royal Super Duper Skyline Invitational Finals Competitors TBD by the winners of the qualifying matches
Third Time’s The Charm? “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo
Slash vs. “Cool” Chris Cryptic
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jun 17, 2016 22:49:30 GMT -5
Views From The Nati’ [57%] October 30th, 2016
Since the 3-Way tournament went pretty well last year, I’d figure it’d be a good idea to bring the tournament back this year. Last year’s tournament served as a launching point for Scar as he was built into one of our top heels. The stakes are even higher this year and 43 folks turned out to see who would come out on top. Ash can rest easy this year since we can actually afford our own trophy. - Before the action gets started, Nikki Alderton (sans Jimmy Moore) walks out to the ring. The thirst buckets in the crowd are going crazy as she’s in an incredibly skimpy outfit. Like, no joke. I think she’s wearing the least amount of clothes that you are legally required to wear while in public. Knowing that she’s looking fine as wine tonight, Nikki does a quick twirl for the crowd before letting them know that she’s gonna be the guest ring announcer for this show. She will also present the trophy to this year’s winner. Yay for titties! NIkki’s a good talker and I genuinely think she’ll do a good job tonight but her being hotter than hell certainly doesn’t hurt. After all, it’s not like you can teach that. [47%]Match #1 3-Way Qualifier Match “The Angel of Hate” Scar vs. Earl Huffington III vs. Hypnosis
What better way to start off this year’s tournament than with the winner of last year's tournament? Scar was in control of most of this one as he basically dominated both guys with his violent, explosive offense. Huffington got in a few cool dives here and there but Hypnosis was essentially a punching bag in this match, taking tons of punishment while being on the offensive for only a few brief moments. Eventually, Scar went for a Suicide Dive onto Huffington but the rich snob moved out of the way, causing Scar to go crashing into the guardrail. Instead of tossing Scar back into the ring for a pin attempt, Huffington decided to flex for the gram for a bit before going for his own dive onto Scar. He was cut off at the pass by Hypnosis who jumped up and hooked him with a Hurricarana. The dime store Luchadore held onto the hold for a pin and got the three count! f***ING WHAT!? Yes, Hypnosis is going to the finals~! Huffington was in disbelief after the pin and insisted to the ref that he kicked out at 2. Meanwhile, Scar was furious on the outside, kicking the guardrail and even shoving a particularly fat fan down to the ground before stomping his way to the back. [50%]
Match #2 3-Way Qualifier “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles vs. “The Apex of Agility” Andrew Everett vs. Tenryu Inokii
In sharp contrast to the opener, which featured three NNW originals, this opener featured three relative newcomers. This winds up being a bit better than the opener as Everett and Eagles carried most of the load and allowed Tenryu to hide some of his (very obvious) weaknesses. Lacking experience, Tenryu relied on his size and strength to muscle his smaller opponents around, impressing the crowd by holding Eagles in the air for nearly 20 seconds with a Stalling Suplex. He also caused Everett to take a cool looking flip bump after drilling him with a LARIATOOO~! Eagles, on the other hand, used his striking ability to his advantage as he rattled both of his opponents with stiff slaps. He nearly dislocated Tenryu’s jaw with a nasty Knee strike when as the rookie was trying to hit a Powerbomb. In the end, however, it was Everett’s agility that ended up being the deciding factor as he took Tenryu out of commission with a Reverse Hurricarana. He and Eagles battled for a bit before he springboarded off the ropes and blasted the Aussie with a kick to the head. Wasting no time, Everett quickly went to the top rope and hit a 630 Splash! You could barely even hear the ensuing three count as the fans were losing their shit at one of the flippiest flippy-doos they’d ever seen. Everett has punched his ticket to the finals! [52%]Match #3 3-Way Qualifier “Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Mista Steal Yo Girl” Marty Scrull vs. Christian Slater
Slater’s gimmick appears to be that of a flag-waving, “USA Rah-Rah”, patriot. The fans gave him a positive response when he came out but quickly changed their tune when he hopped on the mic and buried the fans for representing everything wrong with America wrong right now. He called today’s generation of “SJW” Americans soft and weak, saying that he was taking it upon himself to remind everyone what it really means to be an American. So yeah, basically a “Make America Great Again” gimmick without him actually saying that slogan. This easily winds up being the best match of the night as the fans hated Slater for his promo and Stylez for...well, being Stylez. This left Scrull as the beloved babyface, feeding off the fans’ energy as he ran wild on both heels. In a bit of a shocker, however, it was actually the debuting wrestler that picked up the win here as Slater hit Scrull with a Cradle Piledriver. [56%]- Before his NNW Championship match later tonight, Adam Page is out to talk some shit to the fans. He puts himself over as “the biggest star in the entire city” and says that he’s gonna make the NNW championship famous tonight when he wins it from that “nobody” Michael Hart. “You’re a good wrestler, Hart. I’ll give you that much. But you squaring off against me is like putting a college kid against Steph Curry. I’m just on a different level than you.” This brings out the champ himself. Hart says that he respects what Page has accomplished in his career. “You’ve faced some of the best that the American wrestling scene has to offer. But you’ve never faced anybody quite like me.” Hart says that he thinks it’s about time someone taught Page a lesson in humility and he’d be more than happy to take his ass to school tonight! Both men have a brief staredown before Pages backs off, telling Hart that he’ll let him hold onto his title for another hour or so before taking it. [60%] Match #4 “Drunken Fox” Jay Knox vs. “Suplex Artist” Michael Diablo
The last two times these two have faced off, Diablo has been the one to come out on top. Receiving more boos than cheers during his entrance for the first time since coming to the Nati, Knox was clearly looking to make sure Diablo didn’t pull off the hat trick as he aggressively went after his opponent. Diablo, while initially caught off-guard, didn’t back down an inch and the match quickly devolved into a brawl with very little in the way of actual wrestling done. Ref Ash, partially because he knew he wouldn’t be able to separate the two even if he tried, just shrugged his shoulders and decided to give both guys some leeway with the rules. Eventually, the action spilled to the outside. Diablo charged at Knox but Knox yanked Nikki Alderton out of her chair at ringside and held her in front of him as a human shield! Talk about ho shit. Diablo stopped dead in his tracks out of fear of hitting the woman but Knox took it a step further and shoved Alderton towards him. Diablo caught her and quickly moved her out of harm’s way before taking a Superkick from Knox. With the momentum shifting in his favor, Knox tossed Diablo back in the ring before hitting a Tornado DDT followed by a Swanton Bomb. The Drunken Fox has finally defeated Diablo! Consider this Knox’s official heel turn because man, the fans are not happy with him after that massive bitch move he pulled. [61%]Match #5 “Cool” Chris Cryptic vs. Slash
Chris Cryptic has spent the past few months feuding with Scar ever since the two went to a draw in the Nati’ Classic. This month, he takes on Scar’s partner, Slash. This match winds up being pretty good by our standards but it doesn’t have a decisive ending. After Cryptic gained the upper hand and was putting Slash in position for the GTS, Scar hit the ring and jumped Cryptic from behind for the instant DQ! In a flash, Scar snatched a chair from a fan at ringside and damn near destroyed it by smashing it over Cryptic’s back repeatedly. The beating went on for so long that even Slash looked a bit uneasy and tried to tell his friend that he’d made his point. “I’LL SAY WHEN I’VE MADE MY POINT!!!!”, screamed Scar before going back to work on Cryptic. Scar capped off the beatdown by smashing the chair onto Cryptic’s head with such force that it caused the chair to be wrapped around his neck! I told Scar to bring the hate with this attack and he did so in spades. My goodness. [55%]Match #6 3-Way Invitational Finals Elimination Match Hypnosis vs. “The Apex of Agility” Andrew Everett vs. Christian Slater
It’s time for the finals of the 3-Way Blah Blah Blah Skyline Invitational! Once again, the big story in this match was Everett’s agility as he had the fans going nuts with his high-flying arsenal, including a Springboard Shooting Star Press to the outside onto both guys. I’m sure most fans were expecting Hypnosis to get eliminated fairly quick...and those fans were right as Everett pinned him with a Split Legged Moonsault. You must be on some other shit if you seriously thought Hypnosis was getting a title shot. Anyway, after the trash had been taken out, Everett and Slater had a decent battle. I was hoping for something better but this turned out to be a bit of a styles clash as Slater is more of a brawler than anything although he did his best to keep up with Everett’s lightening quick pace. The end came when Slater went for the Cradle Piledriver that had gotten him the win earlier but Everett back-dropped his way out of it. As Slater tried to get back to his feet, Everett snapped off a Hurricarana while Slater was on his knees that caused the Patriot to spike head-first into the mat! Everett pointed to the top rope and the fans knew what was coming next. 630 Splash! The Apex of Agility is the winner of the 2016 Skyline Invitational! [53%]Match #7 NNW Championship Adam Page vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart(c)
The fans were hot for this one after the confrontation they had earlier in the show. Seemingly trying to prove that he could outwrestle Hart, Page wrestled a squeaky clean match for the first few minutes. After coming out on the losing end of several exchanges, however, he decided to go back to his rudo roots and suckered Hart in with a lock-up attempt only to cheap-shot him with an elbow to the face. Page took control of the match, working over Hart’s legs with submissions in an attempt to wear him down. After moving out of the way of a Stinger Splash attempt in the corner, Hart began mounting a comeback but his legs gave out on him and allowed Page to regain control. As Hart was laying on the mat, Page decided to he wanted to send a message that he was truly better than Hart by beating him with his own Sharpshooter submission. It looks like the Canadian was playing possum, however, as he tripped Page up while he tried to apply the move. Nobody’s gonna beat him with his own move, damn it! He decided to show Page how it was done by slapping on the Sharpshooter for real. Page scratched and clawed his way towards the ropes but right before he could reach them, Hart dragged him back to the center of the ring. Page taps! As soon as the bell rung, Hart collapsed to the mat due to the pain in his legs. That pain soon became a distant memory when the ref handed him his title and he slapped hands with fans at ringside as the show came to a close. No joke, this was probably the best match in company history. Having Hart as champion has really paid off so far. [65%]
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Jun 19, 2016 10:21:30 GMT -5
November 2016
I was pretty surprised when I got a call from Chris Cryptic early on a Sunday morning. I was trying to get my precious beauty sleep, what the hell did he want? Chris: Hey boss. So, uh, I don’t know how to say this but...I’m in jail right now. Magic: Huh? What did you do? Dude, I told you to be careful with that mama-juana. Chris: No, no, it’s nothing to do with that. I was driving home from the bar last night after hanging with some friends. A cop pulled me over, made me do some goofy walking test, and then slapped me with a DUI charge. Magic: He must have made you do a breathalyzer test too. What did you blow? Chris: …*mumbles something* Magic: What was that? Chris: I said I blew a .20, alright? Damnnn Daniel. That’s more than twice the legal limit! Chris: Look, I wouldn’t be calling you if I had literally anybody else I could go to but I don’t. Would you mind stopping by the station and posting bond for me? Goddamn it, Chris. I rolled over to tell bae that I had to go get my friend out of jail. I quickly remembered that I don’t have a bae and that I slept alone like I always do. After having a good cry for a few minutes, I headed over to the station and bailed Chris out. On the drive home, he explained to me how he’s been drinking every single day for months now and that he thinks he might have a problem. Magic: It’s all good, brah. We can put you in a team with Jay Knox. Chris: No, dude. You don’t get it. I think I need to go to...rehab or something. As Chris continued to speak, I nodded my head in understanding but internally, I was screaming. He was supposed to main event this month’s show in a Last Man Standing match against Scar! If he went to rehab, who knows how long he’d be gone for? At the same time...that’d be pretty f***ed up of me to ignore his personal problems just for my own gain. I’d even go as far as to say that’s some shit TNA would do. *shudders* No way I’m acting like those goofballs. Right then and there, I drove Chris over to a rehabilitation center and got him checked in. *sigh* There goes another main event plan ruined. Losing Cryptic for a few months is gonna leave a pretty big gap in the roster. Man, this booking stuff is hard sometimes. The show must go on, I suppose so I guess I better post up the revised card for this month’s show. Hey, I’ll call bae and ask her to post it for me! ...Oh, that’s right. *sheds one single tear*
The Impossible Nati’
Date: November 27th, 2016 Location: Great Miami Event Center When: Bell Time @ 8 PM Description: Guess who’s back? Back again. NNW's back. Tell a friend. No seriously, tell a friend because we need to move some tickets. This month’s show is headlined by a NNW Championship match between fan favorites Andrew Everett & Michael Hart. Also, this show will feature the NNW debut of Chase Owens as he takes on Adam Page.
NNW Championship “The Apex of Agility” Andrew Everett vs. “Calgary Made” Michael Hart
Another Month, Another Debut Adam Page vs. Chase Owens
Marshe Rockett (w/ Acid Jaz) vs. “The Aussie Assassin” Ryan Eagles
“Stylish” Shawn Stylez vs. “Mista Steal Yo Girl” Marty Scrull
“Sweetness” Jimmy Moore (w/ Nikki Alderton) vs. Christian Slater
Earl Huffington III & Scyther vs. Hypnosis & Tenryu Inokii
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