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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 5:03:40 GMT -5
Though we all loved the amazingly insane TNA tapings of a few weeks back, I couldn't help but wonder something. How would the cold, merciless EWR machine feel about these results? With this question in mind, I have decided to start putting these results in as word-for-word as possible to see where it gets me. Every single result will be fit in and the role of all wrestlers who cannot be put in will be played by Phillip F. Gunner. WEEK ONE~!: Not much notes to add other than Drew enjoys working with Bram, Kenny King and Aiden O'Shea f***ed everything, and the whole "the network's already pissed" thing. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK TWO~!: THE LOST EPISODE. Eli Drake appeared 4 times and lost twice, Khoya and Crazzy Steve had a terrible match, Mandrews and Manik had a terrible match, and the overall show rating was 60%. It's also worth noting that the main event consisted of Eric Young talking. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK THREE~!: Bram has returned and the audience is sick of him. Rockstar Spud has returned and the audience is sick of him. The long-awaited encounter between Lashley and Mr. Anderson has gone down to an amazing...69%, and the overall show rating was 62%. The network is also mad again. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK FOUR~!: With the loss of some...rather crucial superstars, Stand-In Gunner and Stand-In Kip have been given their time to shine. Eli Drake somehow gained overness, Jessie Godderz is the f***ing game, and Gunner continues to never let me down. All to a 67%! We live for another day. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK FIVE~!: After getting to the finals of the mysterious tournament of death, Eric Young has quit the company! Stand-In Kip Stern continues to rise through the ranks with Canadian Strong-Style, Kenny King goobers right in Khoya's face, and the first match for Genesis has been announced. All for a sad 65%! {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK SIX~!: James Storm is still in rehab and Gunner doesn't get to rest, Davey Richards is still on the street and Kip doesn't get to rest as well! Khoya's push continues on the zig-zagged road to Genesis and Jessie Godderz begins his ascent to the Snowman's temple. 66%, because DJ Z vs. Mandrews bleeds more money than we do. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK SE7EN~!: The dawn of The Adonis is upon us and The Dark Master himself, Mr. Al Snow, does not approve. The Reverse Elimination Death Match takes place to a something reception, Gunner gets to sleep for once, Khoya ruins everything, and we learn exactly what 1.1 feels like as we finish off at 66%! {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK EIGHT~!: Stagnant is we, praise be is not me. Madison and Brooke ruin everything, everyone still hates Eli Drake, Eric Young does more stuff after a shameful retirement, and Tigre Uno just won't leave! All for a stunning, in your face, 66%. Again. {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK NINE~!: The Japanese legend Kenny Muta has arrived in Impact Wrestling and he is not happy with Aiden O'Shea. Why? Don't ask that. We also have the return of Gunner, the exodus of the Khoya dance, and something that isn't 66%. SIXTY SEVEN PERCENT! {Spoiler}{Spoiler}{Spoiler} WEEK 10, TNA GENESIS~!: Due to the fact that July 26th was an off day, I decided to book the show that TNA couldn't. Jessie tests himself on the scaffold of doom, two Japanese legends debut, Madlibs loses 600 thousand dollars, Mahabobholly finds out if he is really hardcore, and A NEW STABLE FORMS! All for 65% {Spoiler}{Spoiler} Whether or not we get thrown off the air is an entirely different matter. Shout outs to the Pigman for allowing me to put this in this section.
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Post by Oh Cry Me a Screwball on Aug 14, 2015 5:16:52 GMT -5
Have you signed Bram yet?
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Emmet Russell
King Koopa
Quieter
The best wrestler on earth.
Posts: 12,526
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Post by Emmet Russell on Aug 14, 2015 6:01:30 GMT -5
Have you signed Bram yet? You release Bram and forward the game onto a new day. You go to your news folder and apparently you signed Bram again. You go in and release him again before moving days forward. You check your news the next day and apparently you've resigned Bram. Rinse. Repeat. "You're stuck with me and me 8 ball, mate"
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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 6:41:34 GMT -5
In an event truly fitting of this show, Week Two has been lost due to a crash, yet the emails referencing matches from it still remain. We're two shows in and already we have a lost card in which Eli Drake appeared 4 times.
We're going places here.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2015 6:43:58 GMT -5
In an event truly fitting of this show, Week Two has been lost due to a crash, yet the emails referencing matches from it still remain. We're two shows in and already we have a lost card in which Eli Drake appeared 4 times. We're going places here. I know things are looking bad but pick your chin up you still have to sign Bram two to multi year contracts today
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jagilki
Patti Mayonnaise
Nobody notices him; No, we noticed him
f*** Cancer
Posts: 33,594
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Post by jagilki on Aug 14, 2015 7:36:28 GMT -5
I've forgotten how ugly EWR looks.
Have fun though.
Wonder how this would work in TEW '13?
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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 7:41:22 GMT -5
In order to negate any possible problems in the event that our stand-in, Gunner, gets injured, we have signed NXT castaway Kip Stern to a 300 thousand dollar contract with creative control.
The chances of him getting used are approximately 0%
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Post by Alyce: Old Media Enthusiast on Aug 14, 2015 8:08:14 GMT -5
I still have the zip file for EWR on my comp, yet haven't been assed to install it. May need to
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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 14:15:00 GMT -5
I'm not suggesting that we fired him or anything, but I'm being informed that the role of The American Wolves will now be played by Gunner and Kip Stern.
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Sicho100
Hank Scorpio
Easily Confused.
Posts: 5,959
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Post by Sicho100 on Aug 14, 2015 15:06:34 GMT -5
I'm not suggesting that we fired him or anything, but I'm being informed that the role of The American Wolves will now be played by Gunner and Kip Stern. Since this is an experiment with TNA...doesn't that mean that he becomes the champion?
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Post by Alyce: Old Media Enthusiast on Aug 14, 2015 15:19:11 GMT -5
I'm not suggesting that we fired him or anything, but I'm being informed that the role of The American Wolves will now be played by Gunner and Kip Stern. When he started calling TNA "Uncle Wally's house of Pancakes" and put a shoe on his head, then things really got heated.
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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 15:19:40 GMT -5
I'm not suggesting that we fired him or anything, but I'm being informed that the role of The American Wolves will now be played by Gunner and Kip Stern. Since this is an experiment with TNA...doesn't that mean that he becomes the champion? No. But I know who does.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2015 17:16:09 GMT -5
This is glorious
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Brood Lone Wolf Funker
Ozymandius
Got fined anyway. Possibly a Moose
James Franco is the white Donald Glover
Posts: 61,209
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Post by Brood Lone Wolf Funker on Aug 14, 2015 17:25:52 GMT -5
I'm not suggesting that we fired him or anything, but I'm being informed that the role of The American Wolves will now be played by Gunner and Kip Stern. Too bad you can't blame it on lack of brain cells
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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 17:42:16 GMT -5
With the losses of Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards, and James Storm before this show, we have run in to some problems. That's what I would say if I didn't have my team of crackpot stand-ins that blend in seamlessly.
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Post by Magic knows Black Lives Matter on Aug 14, 2015 17:44:21 GMT -5
Not gonna lie, I get a real thrill when some dude without creative control complains about doing a job because then I can be like "nah, you good brah" and make them to do the job anyway.
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Post by Mondai Rogue on Aug 14, 2015 17:46:03 GMT -5
This is glorious.
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Post by Mama Rhodes Looking @ U Now on Aug 14, 2015 17:49:35 GMT -5
Not gonna lie, I get a real thrill when some dude without creative control complains about doing a job because then I can be like "nah, you good brah" and make them to do the job anyway. I don't think anyone's ever taken "You're putting over Eli Drake" very well.
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Post by Alyce: Old Media Enthusiast on Aug 14, 2015 18:22:55 GMT -5
Since this is an experiment with TNA...doesn't that mean that he becomes the champion? No. But I know who does. His damn luck. Sorry about it.
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Post by 2coldMack is even more baffled on Aug 14, 2015 18:22:45 GMT -5
Not gonna lie, I get a real thrill when some dude without creative control complains about doing a job because then I can be like "nah, you good brah" and make them to do the job anyway. I don't think anyone's ever taken "You're putting over Eli Drake" very well. It's second only to "You're putting over Micah" in most effective ways to tell a wrestler to go f*** himself.
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