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Post by DASH 243✅ on Apr 19, 2019 18:00:56 GMT -5
Easter joke. Farmer wanted to play a joke on his kids show switched all the eggs in the chicken coupe to colored ones. Rooster walks in sees the colored eggs and beats the Shit out of peacock.
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Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,196
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Post by Spider2024 on Apr 19, 2019 18:28:34 GMT -5
Easter joke. Farmer wanted to play a joke on his kids show switched all the eggs in the chicken coupe to colored ones. Rooster walks in sees the colored eggs and beats the Shit out of peacock. Reminds me of what that one Raven did one time.
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Post by bibboid on Apr 26, 2019 0:39:42 GMT -5
Why did they stop giving the animals tests at the zoo?
Because there were too many cheetahs.
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Post by bitteroldman on Apr 26, 2019 15:59:50 GMT -5
How do u tell if a ants a girl or boy? Poor water on it and if it floots its boyant! I thought all ants were females, else they'd be uncles
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Apr 26, 2019 17:47:47 GMT -5
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day
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Post by bibboid on Jul 12, 2019 23:46:14 GMT -5
Four friends (an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German) were walking down the street when they came upon a street performer. There was a big crowd and they moved all around trying to get a better view. The performer noticed this and hopped up on a wall to make himself more visible. "Can everybody see me now?" He called out.
The friends yelled back, "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jul 12, 2019 23:53:44 GMT -5
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on Jul 26, 2019 8:56:59 GMT -5
I got on the bus the other day carrying a huge, huge stack of pornography. the bus driver asked me "where do you get off?"
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Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,196
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Post by Spider2024 on Jul 29, 2019 12:15:57 GMT -5
Pinstripe is one of those puzzle-solving adventure games recently released for digital download, and is currently on sale for 50% off on Steam & GOG. And, based on the official logo for the game, is a favorite amongst 7-foot tall pro wrestlers with big asses:
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jul 29, 2019 12:30:29 GMT -5
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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Spider2024
Patti Mayonnaise
Dedicated 6,666th post to Irontyger
I believe in Joe Hendry.
Posts: 39,196
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Post by Spider2024 on Jul 31, 2019 17:14:13 GMT -5
Lately, John Cena's been a little more active on the online dating scene. Nowadays you can call him "Big Match.com John".
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jul 31, 2019 18:03:11 GMT -5
What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.
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Post by bibboid on Aug 2, 2019 22:28:35 GMT -5
One day a man went out and bought a lie detecting robot. At dinner that night, he asked his son what he did that afternoon. “I studied all afternoon,” said the boy. The robot rolled over and slapped the boy. “I mean I watched movies in my room,” he corrected himself. The robot rolled over and slapped him again. The boy looked embarrassed and admitted “I was watching porn.” The father looked at him sternly and declared, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was.” The robot rolled over and slapped the father. The mother laughed and said, “It is so obvious that he is your son.”
And the robot rolled over and slapped the mother.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Aug 2, 2019 22:46:36 GMT -5
Q. Why do birds always sing in the morning? A. Because they don’t have to go to f***ing work!
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Post by devilfish on Aug 3, 2019 14:19:33 GMT -5
(Was busy in vacation yesterday)
So this guy walks into a bar and sits down an orders a beer. He begins to hear a tiny little voice say “nice hat”. A few minutes later the same voice says “have you lost weight?”. And a few minutes later he hears the same voice say “I love your shoes”.
Finally the man, thoroughly freaked out says to the bartender “do you hear that?”
The bartender smiles and says “don’t be alarmed, that’s just the peanuts...they’re complimentary.”
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Post by bibboid on Aug 30, 2019 23:31:43 GMT -5
In the United Arab Emirates, Dubai don’t like The Flintstones....
...but Abu Dhabi do.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Aug 30, 2019 23:43:33 GMT -5
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I don't think I am." POOF! The horse disappears.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
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Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 31,943
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Post by Perd on Aug 30, 2019 23:48:58 GMT -5
What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What do you call a ghost turkey?
A tryptophantom.
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Post by devilfish on Sept 6, 2019 9:31:06 GMT -5
“I stand corrected,” said the man in his new orthopedic shoes .
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Post by bibboid on Sept 6, 2019 11:37:50 GMT -5
A joke from the neighbor’s eight year old son:
What is the Big Bad Wolf’s favorite magazine?
Pork Illustrated
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