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Post by Beets by Schrute on May 6, 2016 18:53:02 GMT -5
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale
Where does a short person go to buy a hammer? Lowe's
How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
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jagilki
Patti Mayonnaise
Nobody notices him; No, we noticed him
f*** Cancer
Posts: 33,594
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Post by jagilki on May 6, 2016 18:54:44 GMT -5
Want to hear a dirty joke?
A pig rolled in the mud.
Want to hear the clean version?
Cornfed took a bath.
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Post by The Mark of Mark on May 6, 2016 19:19:21 GMT -5
A dwarf mystic escaped from prison. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on May 6, 2016 20:33:39 GMT -5
Two fish are swimming up a river one hits a wall and yells dam!
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Post by DASH 243✅ on May 6, 2016 20:45:51 GMT -5
Why are m&M's full of chocolate?
Because its illegal to fill them with shit
Neil hamburger ftw!
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Post by häšhtå.gdālėÿ on May 6, 2016 21:15:32 GMT -5
A man walked into a bar... Ouch
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ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,773
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Post by ERON on May 6, 2016 21:39:18 GMT -5
Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
To hide in cherry trees.
How did Tarzan die?
He was picking cherries and an elephant fell on him.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on May 6, 2016 23:00:32 GMT -5
Why did willy nelson get hit by a car?
He was playing on the road again
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Perd
Patti Mayonnaise
Leslie needs to butt out for fear of receiving The Bunghole Buster
Posts: 31,942
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Post by Perd on May 6, 2016 23:06:56 GMT -5
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean?
I've never had a garbonzo bean on my face.
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Post by Marksus on May 7, 2016 15:39:42 GMT -5
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyedeer What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eyedeer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs or genitals? Still no effing eye deer!
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Gecko
Grimlock
FAN Pyrite Member. Muahahaha
Posts: 13,244
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Post by Gecko on May 20, 2016 10:41:57 GMT -5
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? {Spoiler}One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.
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Post by taker1990 on May 20, 2016 11:05:15 GMT -5
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.
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ERON
Hank Scorpio
Posts: 6,773
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Post by ERON on May 20, 2016 14:56:42 GMT -5
Why do elephants wear tennis shoes?
Because elevennis shoes are too big for them.
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Post by DASH 243✅ on May 20, 2016 18:54:38 GMT -5
A women beat her husband to death with a guitar. Judge says first offender? She say no it was a Gibson.
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Post by FALLOUT Goldashausen #BLM on May 20, 2016 21:00:48 GMT -5
Friend sent me this today:
"5 years ago Randy Savage went to buy Elizabeth that 3 dollar hot dog in the sky."
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Post by DASH 243✅ on May 21, 2016 0:12:47 GMT -5
What's a priests weapon of choice? Nun chucks
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crash1984
Unicron
Scavenger Hunt All-Star
You don't need pants for the victory dance
Posts: 3,039
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Post by crash1984 on May 21, 2016 7:56:25 GMT -5
Want to hear the corn joke? {Spoiler}{Spoiler}Its kind of corny Want to hear the bread joke? {Spoiler}{Spoiler}Its kind of crummy Want to hear the mud joke? {Spoiler}{Spoiler}Its kind of dirty Want to hear the drug joke? {Spoiler}{Spoiler}Its kind of dopey Want to hear the muffin joke? {Spoiler}{Spoiler} Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says "it getting really hot in here." The other muffin says "Whoa a talking muffin"
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The Unconquered Sun
King Koopa
He has no pants! What a heathen!
Lord of Storms and Kittens!
Posts: 11,548
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Post by The Unconquered Sun on May 27, 2016 20:58:44 GMT -5
What did the perverted frog say? "rubbit"
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Post by DASH 243✅ on Jun 10, 2016 21:16:52 GMT -5
Why are fire trucks red?
If someone pulled your house you would be red too.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2016 21:40:18 GMT -5
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says to the horse "What are you doing here?" The horse says "I don't know" and suddenly disappears. The horse thus proved the famous theorem "I think therefore I am." I'd have mentioned that up front, but that'd be putting Descartes before the horse.
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