Let's Play the French version of Final Fantasy VIII ! FINALE

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Hello everybody! I've been wanting to do a Let's Play of Final Fantasy VIII for a while as this is my favourite game and I know a lot of secrets and trivia about it which I think is what makes Let's Plays worth following.

On top of that, I realized that what could make it even more interesting is that, well, I'm French and obviously I grew up with the French version of the game and since most people here are from English-speaking countries, it would be interesting to many people here to check a version they're probably not familiar with especially since, having played the English version recently, I can tell you there are quite a few differences.

Some of them are just bizarre little quirks like different naming conventions but some of it is bigger stuff. Most importantly, the characterization can be quite different and indeed, I feel part of the reason why this game is less popular in English-speaking countries is due to the translation that makes the characters more one-dimensional and really likes to give them obnoxious catchphrases (a feature of many English localizations from what I understand). I will of course not translate everything but I'll give a play-by-play of some of the more important parts in my opinion to give you an idea of how this translation works.

Of course, I would also like to take that opportunity to explain why I love this game so much and why I find it to be more complex than many people give it credit for and hopefully make people who aren't big fans of it at least understand why other people might be into it. And I would also like to show some of the parts I like a little bit less and how I think they could have been improved as while I think FFVIII is a game where there is little to genuinely complain about, I will admit there is a lot to nitpick.

Oh and before we begin, I should point out that I'm playing on an emulator with graphical enhancements so the screenshots will look a bit better than the original PSX game. Also, do not hesitate to ask questions, make remarks or suggestions as I would like this to be as interactive as possible.

And now, without any further ado...

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII! Part I: Back to school

So here's the opening cutscene. It's a bit weird as it serves as a prologue while also showing events that will occur later in the game (although mostly in the first CD so it's not spoileriffic) but I still think it's awesome and right off the bat we have a great example of stuff I love about the game and stuff I think could have been done better. It gives us a taste of the gorgeous music (seriously the soundtrack to this game is in my opinion Uematsu's best and most creative work and it always seems to fit the tone of the scene perfectly) as well as the graphics which were very impressive for the era... and honestly in my opinion still are. See, I never get why people say that PS1-era games looked bad. Just because they don't have hgih-res textures and ridiculously detailed models and fancy details like lens flares that glare in your eye doesn't mean it looks bad. I think the developers really managed to create a style that looks fantastic with this game, especially during combat.

That said, one thing I think could be better is Squall and Seifer scarring each-other right away. I find it a bit weak that it happens during a simple training/schoolyard fight, especially when I think there is a moment a bit later that would make it a lot more meaningful if it happened then, but more on that when we get to it.

And while we're at it, I might as well get one thing out of the way and adress Squall's weapon: the gunblade. It seems (like many things in FFVIII), it tends to be divisive with people thinking it's insanely badass and people thinking it's silly. Many people argue that it's ridiculously unrealistic because I guess in a franchise that gave use people using sketchbooks, musical instruments, loudspeakers and freaking teddy bears as weapons, a regular sword (not even oversized) with a fancy handle is where suspension of disbelief can no longer hold. For starters, pistol-swoards have been an actual thing for centuries (I think the oldest ones date back to the XVIth century), usually used to shoot at point blank after stabbing an enemy. Also, here's a Katara cutlass-pistol (from the mid-XIXth century):




And here's Squall's gunblade:




So yeah. I find it rather silly to mock a fictional weapon for being "unrealistic" when real counterparts have existed for about half a millenium. Alright, now that that's out of the way, back to the game, where Squall is sent to the infirmary after that slight bit of face-slicing. We meet Dr. Kadowaki, who I have to say is probably one of my favourite "inconsequential" NPCs in Final Fantasy. I don't know, she's just pleasant.




As you can see, we have a choice of answers. As you can probably guess if you've ever played a Final Fantasy game, sometimes this kind of choices affect the story and/or gameplay a bit but for the most part it's just different dialogue options. Still, I do like that the options are there, it at least give a little bit of variety. In case you're curious, I'll generally pick the friendlier options. She's asking Squall if he's alright and the choices are "yes, I'm okay" and "my forehead hurts". We then get to choose our name:




I'll be sticking with the default names through this LP, if only to show you the differences between the French and English ones. Kadowaki tells Squall not to overdo it and Squall tells her to say that to Seifer (the blonde twat who scarred him). Here's a bit of dialogue

Kadowaki: That Seifer, he doesn't listen to anyone. Why don't you just ignore him?"

Squall: It's a matter of honour.

Kadowaki: You're a prideful one, it looks like. Be careful it doesn't come back to hurt you.

While we wait for Squall's teacher to come pick him up, Squall is visited by a cute girl:



"Squall, we are reunited at last"


Squall doesn't seem to recognize her. This is a bit of foreshadowing that will become very relevant much later. We are then introduced to the famously hot Quistis, who is either not impressed with Squall or massively turned on:




She picks him up and we get the following dialogue as they walk:

Quistis: Hey, what's wrong?

Squall: Nothing, nothing.

Quistis: Nothing, really?

*They take a few steps*

Quistis: You're funny...

Squall: What's so funny?

Quistis: No, you don't get it. I'm just happy, that's all. I think i'm starting to understand my little student.

Squall: Hey! I'm more complex than you think...

Quistis: Complex? It's more like you're hung up!¹ Go on, tell me everything about you.

*They take a few more steps*

Squall: It's none of your...

Quistis: ... business! Yeah, yeah, I know. *chuckles*

I can't begin to tell you how much I love the interaction between Quistis and Squall. She is having non of his bullshit and often teases him about it and gives him a reality check when he's being overly up his own ass. And that seems appropriate for a teacher talking to her student (and as we'll see through the game, someone who considers herself something of a big sister to him). I also find it refreshing to have a male and female characters in a video game (or really, a work of fiction in general) who are close without being love interests.




This is also why I actually really like Squall. Yeah, he's angsty and can be a bit of a dick at times but not only does he develop nicely through the game, the other characters do tell him to get over himself and rib him for his attitude. Compare that to the other Final Fantasy games where the characters' angst is always glorified (granted, it is sometimes justified but sometimes it does feel masturbatory), it's nice to see one where the other characters tell him to quit being such a sour-puss. It's almost like Squaresoft is making fun of its own character and writing archetypes.

Yeah, Squall does act like an angsty teenager but... that's kind of the point. He IS an angsty teenager and growing up and becoming more mature is what his story is all about. And I love that we have characters like Quistis to contrast his attitude and help him become a better person. Sure it's cool to have characters like Solid Snake or Duke Nukem who are badasses right off the bad and make for a cathartic power fantasy but I think following a character who starts off bad and improves over time is much more interesting. It also helps that while Squall IS angsty, that's not his entire personality and he does have some fun moments even early on. I'll just come out and say it: Squall is probably the most interesting, most layered character in the Final Fantasy franchise. At least as far as main characters go.

After that, we get a nice introduction to these characters' home, the Balamb Garden University, or BGU for short. And again, I really, really love the way it looks. It's a mixture of realistic and fantastic that I really fancy. And of course, the music is amazing. It's very simple yet very pleasing and it's a great example of video game soundtrack done right as you can listen to it forever and never get bored of it (good thing too as we'll be spending a lot of time here). It's just so peaceful an nostalgic, it immediately makes you feel at home no matter where you are which of course is very appropriate for what literally is the place where these characters live.




Next scene, we're in a classroom and Quistis reminds students that the field test for the SeeD exam is today, the SeeD being a faction of eite mercenaries trained by the BGU. Yeah, it may be all cute a pleasant but they're training warriors there. Also, one bizarre thing is that some of the NPCs are actual 3D models whereas others are pictures of the 3D models superimposed on the pre-rendered background. It happens a few times through the game and I'm not sure why. It's especially weird since in some cases, you can interact with them. It's not really noticeable on an actual PlayStation but with the enhancements from the emulator, it's blatant. Quistis also tells Seifer to please stop slashing people's faces open, which makes him mad.

This gives us an opportunity to check the computers in this room, something you can do pretty much any time you're in the BGU, with some stuff changing through the game, some of it being pretty funny like a forum full of people being rude because even back in 1998 when this game was being developped, people's ability to be assholes on the Internet was already infamous. For the most part it's just kind of fluff meat to add to the "university" feel of the game while I do like fluff, I won't spend too much time showing it in this playthrough.

However, in this case, you really want to check it, at least the "tutorial" part. Why? Well because this is where you can get your first two Guardian Forces a.k.a. G-Forces. What are those? Why, only this game's summons! So yeah, don't skip this or for a while here, will be going with your dick and your knife as we say in France. These two G-Forces are the classic ice goddess Shiva and the first appearance of the thunder creature...




... Golgotha?!

Yeah, in the English version, it's called Quezacotl, a shortened version of "Quetzalcoatl", a reference to the Mesoamerican feathered snake of the same name. That reference seemed more appropriate as the creature does look like a cross between a bird and some kind of reptile and has a colour scheme similar to the one associated with the real diety. I guess they wanted to change the name to avid the awkward shortening but I have no idea how the translators got "oh yeah! The hill where the Romans crucified people!" from a thunder bird monster. The best I can guess is that when summoned, it is in a vaguely crucifix-like pose. And yeah, that name is exclusive to the French translation as the Spanish and Italian versions, which as you're probably aware, are languages close to French, simply call it "Quetzal".

After that, Quistis tells me to go to the Sulfur Mines to collect “an important element” for the SeeD exam and says she’ll meet me at the main entrance. I leave the classroom and bump right into a girl. Well, more accurately, she bumps into us.




While she doesn't give us her name right away, this is Selphie Tilmitt, who will soon join the ranks of the plyable characters. She explains that she is a new student who transferred from another university and she got lost in the BGU. She asks if we would mind giving her a tour. You can refuse if you want and skip ahead.




Either way, you should also talk to this NPC while on your way to the main entrance as he will give you seven Triple Triad cards. This mini-game is very fun (and can actualy get you so really good stuff if you play your cards right, no pun intended) and even people who don't like the game tend to like it. However, I won't go into detail right now and I think I'll make a separate post to showcase it.

If you accept Selphie's request, Squall will just take her to a screen that shows the various quarters of the place and can be used as a sort of fast-travel thing. Frankly I don't really see the use for it. For starters, the BGU isn't so big that moving around takes that long, second, since that screen is only in one place, getting there often takes longer than just going straight to the location you want to go and third, this screen becomes unusable about halfway through the game anyway. But anyway, how about I give you a quick tour while we're at it?

The locations you can visit are placed in a circle. To the bottom left is the infirmary, which we have already seen. To the left is the campus, where they are trying to organize an end-of-school-year party. Selphie immediately joins the comity to organize it and in fact, if you go to the campus, she'll bug you to join. To the top left is the cafeteria. Interestingly, if you go there right now, you can meet not only Seifer, but also his two sidekicks, Fujin and Raijin. And here's something that'll come as a shock to people who've played the English version:




"Seifer, wanna have a drink?"


Fujin can actually use her grown-up words in this version! I really don't understand what possessed the English translators to give her that gimmick where she only speaks in screamed single-word sentences. with her having only one good eye (the other is covered with an eyepatch), it make her look like a Dalek. It's a damn shame too because Fujin is one of my favourite characters in this game and to lose so much of her personality for the sake of a stupid and pointless gimmick is just... urgh. Oddly, even though she and Seifer are pretty much always confrontational towards Squall, Raijin is much friendlier despite being Seifer's lackey. If you go to the top right of the screen, you can get to another screen with more students, including Quistis fans with some pretty fun tidbits.

To the top is the dormitory. Nothing much to say about that one. You can rest there and use it basically as a free inn so that's nice. Also, on the way there, you can usually find three girls chatting and listen to their conversations. These conversations actually change through the game and basically tell a little story. I always like little touches like that. It's tiny details but I think it's what really builds the game's world.

To the top right is the parking lot/garage. You can take cars to travel on the overworld. It's utterly pointless. It's supposed to help avoid monsters but it only works on roads, it's awkward to drive, you need fuel for it (which is actually quite expensive)... just don't bother. Either go by foot and deal with the random encounters or take a chocobo when you can. Oh and eventually you can unlock a skill that allows you to either reduce random encounter rates or remove them entirely, making cars even more pointless.

To the right is the "combat greenhouse". This is actually very interesting as it allows you to fight monsters while inside the BGU. Obviously, it's mostly for grinding (not that grinding is really necessary in this game we'll see later) but you can also use it to farm items and there's a magic draw point. Be warned though, while the monsters are almost always some plant enemies that are fairly easy to dispatch, every once in a while, if the RNG gods hate your guts, you can find a T-Rex who will destroy you if you don't have a very strong team.

And finally, to the bottom right is the library. Not much to do there for now but there are a few interesting details. First, at the entrance is a Templar. Those guys don't do much at first other than scold you for not getting your ass to various places faster but later on will become pretty important. Second, you can find a magazine called "Occult Fan I".




As implied by the number, there are several of those you can find and read, talking about mysterious goings-on. They may seem like they're just for fun but actually they are part of a side-quest and you HAVE to read them to complete said quest. And third, if you go to the left of the bookshelves, you will find a magic draw point that'll get you some "Esuna" spells. If you're familiar with Final Fantasy, you'll know this is very good as it cures any negative status. Keep in mind you character MUST have the "draw" ability to draw magic.

This gives me an opportunity to mention what is probably the most controversial element of Final Fantasy VIII: the draw and junction system. Fans of the game love it, people who dislike the game point to it as the main reason why. People often criticize it as being overly confusing and I really don't get that. But let's start from the beginning.

The junction system is very similar to FFVI's magic system in that you have to associate a summon to a character, which in turn grants said character various skills. So open the menu go to the Junction screen, then go to "GF" and select whatever G-Forces you want to junction to this specific character. Easy-peasy.




As long as a character has at least one G-Force junctioned, they can use more actions in battle than just "attack". by default, they all allow to use "Magic", "G-Force", "Draw" (or "Steal" as the French version says) and "Item" and you can pick which actions the character can use. I really like this mechanic as it really allows to build the characters the way you want them rather than just use pre-built ones.




Note that whereas "G-Force" seems like an ability you'd always want, I actually tend to avoid it as I actually find that other abilities quickly become much more effective than just spamming G-Forces, so I'll go with "Magic", "Draw". In the same screen, you can also junction magic to your stats to boost them. Simply go to "magic", then pick a stat to boost an a spell. Voilà! Stat boosted!




So as you can see, it's not rocket science. I really don't see what's so confusing to some people. It's basically the same concept as equipment, only with magic. In fact, if you're confused about anything here, I'd really like you to point out what confuses you so I can try and understand it and perhaps explain it better.

As you can see from the screenshots, for now we don't have many abilities to use but as we play through the game, every time a character gains experience, the G-Forces junctioned to them gain some as well and can learn new abilities, some of which make the G-Forces stronger, some of which can be used by characters and some of which can be used outside of battle.



For example. Right now, I'm having both Shiva and Golgotha learn "Turbo". What this does is that when you summon a G-Force, you can press select to activate a mechanic that allows you to boost the attack by mashing the square button. Be careful though as if you keep mashing when the icon is crossed, you can lose the boost.

I make my way towards the entrance to meet Quistis. She gives a tutorial on G-Forces that's much longer than what I gave. Thankfully, you can skip it by pressing triangle (something that I am ashamed to admit took me about a decade to figure out). Afterwards, she tells us to go to the Sulfur Mines and we're on our way! But I think I'll keep that for next time as this post is already long enough as it is. I will try and keep it shorter in the future but I wanted to get all that out of the way first so it doesn't distract in future parts. Hope you enjoyed it and see you soon for a part that will be more focused on combat!




¹ In the original text, there is a pun as the French word for "hung-up" is "complexé".

[Deleted]

It still bothers me that Square-Enix didn't put in the PS1 music for the Steam version like they did with FF7.

Also, I don't ever recall the Garden being called a University. Did they change that in the translations?

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Jan 10, 2016 13:58:00 GMT -5 @vyse said:

Also, I don't ever recall the Garden being called a University. Did they change that in the translations?

Huh. I could have sworn I remembered it being referred to as such in the English version as well but you're right. Even the English page at the Final Fantasy Wiki doesn't say anything about it being a university, yet the French version does refer to it as "Balamb Garden University" and usually refers to it as "BGU":

fr.finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Balamb_Garden_University

So I guess that's another oddity of the different translations. It's especially weird since the French version uses the English word "University".

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII! Part 2: Time for some action!

Now that Quistis has joined the party, I junctioned Golgotha to her and gave her the abilities "Draw", "Magic" and "Items". I actually gave Squall the "G-Force" ability as it will become useful in the mines. Note that the more time a G-Force stays junctioned with a character, the more afinity they gain with them, making the time to summon them shorter. Anyway, time to see some fightin'!




These things are called Elmidea ("Bite Bug" in English. Not sure what the French name comes from). Note that if you press L1, you can see a list of enemies which in my opinion maks it easier to pick a specific target. When Squall uses his basic attack, pressing R1 at the right time automatically causes a critical.

This is also a good time to illustrate how the draw system works in battle. Simply pick a target, and then the spell you want to draw. You can then choose to either stock the spells for later use (in which case you draw a random number of spells, up to 9 if I'm not mistaken) or cast it immediately. A spell you never came across before will be listed as "?". Also, if you can draw spells for something that's junctioned to your stats, a little "A" symbol will be next to it. The way I'm working right now is that I'm having Squall attack while Quistis stocks spells.

You see, the great thing about the magic system in this game is that from the menu, you can have the characters share or swap spells, so you can have one character on "drawing" duty while the rest handle the fighting. Note that you can have up to 99 of each spell. Elmideas have "Brasier" ("Fira") and "Scan".

At the end of the fight, you of course get experience points. You start off needing 500 to level up and you never need more than 1000. This makes you gain levels fairly easily... but don't go assuming this makes the game easy. Because you see, this game has a mechanic I really like where the enemies' level depends on the average of your group's level. So the stronger your group, the stronger the enemies. This is why I said grinding isn't really necessary in this game, as not only do you gain levels without much trouble but being at a high level can also make things more difficult for you. Also, the loot you get from the same enemy can differ depending on its level.




The second enemy I encounter is Larva (Caterchipillar). It's a great source of "Soin" ("Cura") spells so you might want to look around the forest to stock up on those before heading towards the mines. A lucky drop got me the item "U-Boat" right away. This is EXTREMELY useful as it allows Quistis to learn the technique "Ultra Wave" (and yeah, it's in English even in the French version) for her Limit Break as she learns new attacks from items, mostly ones dropped by enemies (she also knows "Laser Eyes" by default). And no, I don't know what the link between a U-Boat and that attack is supposed to be, especially when the English name of the item is "Spider Web", which seems more sensible for something dropped by a bug.

Now that my G-Forces have learned Turbo, it's time to actually head for the mines. This has reminded me of the other reason why I don't use G-Forces a lot in combat: I actually find it far more useful to have them learn support abilities that allow you to junction magic to more stats and stuff like that. As a result, I don't improve their attacks a lot and they end up staying not so strong while the characters themselves become far more efficient.




At the mines, we meet two of those templars I mentioned earlier. They ask me to pick a time limit and you have 4 options: 10, 20, 30 or 40 minutes. You may be wondering why you'd pick anything the biggest limit. Well, at the end of the SeeD exam, you are given a rank and that rank determines your pay (as in this game, you get a regular wage rather than pull coins from the bloated entrails or your slaughtered enemies who all follow a strict gil-based diet).

This rank is determined using a points system: the higher the points, the higher the rank. To be fair, the rank you get after the exam isn't a big deal as there are ways to raise it afterwards but if you can start higher, you might as well. And in this case, you get more points the closer you are to the end of the timer as it shows that you can plan ahead perfectly and know exactly how much time you need to fulfill a mission (the maximum number of points being awarded for finishing the quest with less than 8 seconds left). Besides, this quest isn't very difficult or long so really, you should be able to make it less than 10 minutes even without much effort.

As we run through the mines (which, by the way, are called "Fire Cave" in the English version), Quistis makes some comments. I find it kind of funny that after Quistis says that she makes some students nervous, making them fail, she ponders if it's because or competences or authrity, while Squall thinks to himself that it may be because of her good looks.

There's a magic source of Fira in the mines but I'm going to skip it for now due to the time limit. I come across some Nocturnus ("Red Bat" in English), possibly the weakest enemies in the game as even with low-level characters, they almost always go down in one hit. For comparison, the Elmideas earlier could take a good three or four hits.



I also encounter a group with two Succubes (Bomb). They can be very nasty as they grow, becoming stronger, and then explode, dealing a lot of damage. So they, they carry on the legacy of the bombs in all Final Fantasy games they appear in. We eventually reach the end of the mines and...




... here we go!! This is Ifrit, the tradition fire summon and the first boss in the game. Being a boss, he is the kind of enemy against who using summons actually is useful. Especially this one, because as you may remember, we have a certain lady on our side...




Yup! Spamming Shiva is the best option here as Ifrit is weak to ice, which... doesn't make a whole lot of sense when you think about it as fire melts ice. You'd think he'd be strong against ice and weak to water, but whatever. Then again, at this point you can't use water-elemental attacks so I maybe the developers gave Ifrit that weakness just so he'd have one. What's neat is that he gives a special reaction to summoning her and even has a unique quote if he is defeated by her. After defeating him, you get to keep him as a G-Force And keep in mind that even though it's not on screen, the timer keeps going down until Ifrit has been named. Seems like an oversight on the developers' part especially since it's a brilliant way to cheat. You see, after you've defeat Ifrit, even if the timer goes down to zero, you can't get a game over. This means that you can just stay on the naming screen until the timer runs out for maximum points.

Ifrit is a VERY good G-Force to have. Right off the bat, he knows a skill that allows you to junction magic to the Strength stat, making physical attacks more powerful and one that allows you to give an elemental quality to your physical attacks by junctioning magic to it. This will make your attacks more powerful against certain enemies and weaker against others so it's a good idea to change it up depending on the area you're in. Of course, the more of the spell junctioned to elemental physical attacks you have, the bigger the bonus/penalty is.



He can also learn skills that give you a bonus to strength, to junction magic to your HP (raising the character's max health) and many other good things. Now that you're no longer on a timer, you can relax and I'd suggest going to draw that magic. On the wait out, I faced a Schizoïd (Buel). Much like the Nocturnus, they're very weak and will usually go down in one hit. They're good for drawing Thunder and at higher levels can actually become quite a threat as they cast Ankou (Death) upon dying.

After returning to the BGU, Quistis gives a tutorial on G-Forces then tells me to put on my uniform and meet her in the hall. So make sure to check this thread next time, when we will go on the SeeD exam!

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII! Part 3: The SeeD exam

Alright so before we get into this part proper, there's a few things I'd like to mention as I've been faffing around a bit, partly to build a decent deck for when I want to show off the Triple Triad, partly for my own amusement and partly to check I hadn't forgotten anything.

In general, I can only recommend that when you're not following the main story, go explore and look around, not only to find hidden stuff but also because there are a lot of interesting and funny details, especially NPCs. For example, if you go to the library, you'll find a girl with a ponytail (who is in fact referred to as that through the whole game) and another one who wishes they had "naughty" books. But more importantly, there are two NPCs who are involved in minor side quests. First up, this lady in the cafeteria:





If you talk to her and keep selecting the "listen politely" option, she'll tell you the story of her son who she hasn't seen in ages and... nothing happens. For now anyway as you can actually find her son later and tell him that she'd like to see him again. As I've mentioned before, this kind of little details is really what separates good games from great ones to me as it really makes you feel like it's a real living world with people who have their own life and stories independently from you (also if I remember correctly they do give you stuff if you reunite them). Another funny details is Squall breaking the fourth wall here by saying "She's still talking? I'm not gonna spend the rest of the game here!".

Then in the hall, you can find this guy:




He will inform you about the Cards Club (CC for short). As you probably guessed, they are Triple Triad players who possess some very strong cards. They reveal themselves one after the other after you beat the previous one. In fact, this NPC is the first of their member you can face, but he will only challenge you after you've reached a certain level of skills in Triple Triad.

And now, back to the main quest. First thing first, we've got to dress for the occasion. To do that, simply go to the dormitory and when interacting with Squall's bed, you'll get the option to change into the uniform.



Lookin' dapper.


After leaving the dormitory, we are immediately taken to the hall for a cutscene where bizarrely, Squall joins Quistis from the entrance rather than the dorm. Ha haa! Minor continuity errors! Quistis introduces Squall to his partner...



... Zell Dincht, sporting a hairstyle and face tattoo that I'm sure are all sorts of welcome in the military. He also can't seem to stay in place for more than two seconds and oddly enough, whereas this type of character usually annoys me, with Zell, there's actually something endearing to him. Probably his constantly upbeat and enthusiastic attitude. he very much has a "Brucie Kibbutz" thing going on.

Zell seems very happy to be teamed up with Squall, who doesn't seem as thrilled as he snubs Zell's offer of a handshake. Rude. Besides, Squall, you should consider yourself lucky Zell's around because guess who's your squad leader?



"(With Fujin and Raijin, it's like being at the disciplinary committee)"


Yep, Seifer himself and that thought box is referring to the fact that these three are indeed the BGU's disciplinary committee. I was very confused by that back in the days as I didn't understand why students would be put in charge of watching the other students (especially since it seems like a recipe for jealousy) but apparently that's a thing in Japan so I guess that wouldn't be weird to the developers.

What still does seem weird is that after Seifer tells Quistis to keep the "good luck" wishes for loser students and she then wishes him good luck, he has Raijin and Fujin add her to "the list". So... the students have the power to penalize teachers? That seems a little backwards, especially in a military school where the teachers are also higher ranking officers. Also, I guess squad leaders are exempt from wearing a uniform?

Anyway, Cid makes his first appearance.




He comes to give a motivational speech which is slightly undermined by the fact that he mentions that we will be "replaced" if we fail (i.e., are killed). Oh and don't be fooled by Cid's jolly Robin Williams-like appearance; dude's an ass. You'll see later. Oh and I would also like to point out the attention to detail in the localization as if you look at the screen in the pre-rendered background, even though it's blurry, you can tell that even in that shot that everything has been translated to French.

Alright, the exam has now officially started. Remember how I told you that your initial SeeD rank is determined by a certain number of points? Well through the duration of the exam, you can't ever speak to any NPC, even BGU personnel and even if given the option as members of SeeD who are on duty are apparently only allowed to speak when it's relevant to the mission. You should also obey any order given and never flee from battle (except for one exception where it's the only option).

Zell is clearly failing the "no talking part of the exam as while in the car taking them to the town of Balamb, he immediately asks Squall to show him his gunblade, which sounds like a euphemism but isn't. He then starts doing katas inside the car. As an aside, in the English version, Seifer famously calls Zell a "chicken-wuss", which has gone on to join "Son of a submariner!" and "You spoony bard!" in the pantheon of Squaresoft/Square-Enix insults. The French version of that is "Tête de hérisson!", which translates to "Hedgehog-head!". I'll let you decide which one is better.

Squall then asks Quistis who the girl at the infirmary was but she says she hasn't seen anyone which, now that I think of it, shouldn't be that much of a surprise considering she was already gone when Quistis arrived. Maybe Seifer slashed Squall deeper than we thought.

This also serves as the proper introduction to driving cars. I'll refer you to part 1 of this LP to tell you what I think of that. You can just leave it and go to Balamb by foot, however, I'll stay in as I'm not sure if leaving it makes you lose points or not. Also, if you go by car there is then a cutscene that takes you straight the harbour which in turn will take you to the field exam.

When in the boat, we are briefed by a woman named Shu, who explains that the kingdom of Dollet has hired the SeeD to help their army kick the invading Galbadian army out of there. Man, the SeeD ain't f'n around. The graduation exam is liberating a freaking city! And again, be careful as there are prompts allowing you to speak to people or question orders, so don't do it and just be a good boy. Besides, once you accept, you get to see this awesome cutscene:




Alright! We have arrived and the boats are spilling their SeeDs all over the town. Our squad's mission is to secure the town centre. Before we go, I should probably change junctions because, well, having all three G-Forces junctioned to Squall with the other two guys being stuck with just physical attacks won't get us very far. I gave Zell Ifrit and Seifer Golgotha.




Unsurprisingly, the main enemies are Galbadian soldiers. They go down very easily (about two hits). They drop potions and MT-Psy (the bizarre French name for the Phoenix Down in this game. Don't quote me on that but I think MT is supposed to stand for Medical iTem) AND you can draw Cura and the three basic elemental spells (Fira, Ice and Thunder) from them so it's actually a rather good thing to encounter them. Bizarrely, they can also drop ammunition (which will become useful later) despite only using swords. And yes, pressing R1 to score criticals also works with Seifer but the timing is different so it might take you a few tries before you really pinpoint it.

You can also encounter the red elite soldiers who are sturdier, actually do use ranged weapons and can heal the regular soldiers, although bizarrely you can't draw Cura from them but you can draw Scan instead.

Seifer is being a freaking psychopath, provoking Galbadian soldiers in the hope of making them attack. Even Zell thinks the dude is acting like an idiot. We quickly secure the centre and only have to wait for the order to evacuate. However, we end up spotting a grup of Galbadians making way towards some sort of tower and Seifer, being Seifer, decides it would be a grand idea to disobey orders and follow the soldiers. There's an exchange I really like between Squall and Seifer:

Squall: Orders are orders, Seifer.

Seifer: Oh, so you're chickening out too? Yet, you want to fight, don't you?

Squall: You're right, Seifer. And maybe I should start by testing my techniques on you. It's probably better to start with a disloyal and obnoxious opponent like you.

Damn, Seifer, you just got Squall'd. Anyway, Seifer still insists that they got towards the radio tower. As they rush there, they find a dying Dollet soldier who warns them as not only are Galbadians there but flying monsters are also around. And apparently they're not alone because he gets grabbed by...



... This giant freakin' snake is called Archonada (Anacondaur) and at this point in the game can actually be a fairly big threat as they can poison the characters. As far as drawable magic, they have Fira and Cura so again, you have an opportunity to stock up on healing magic before proceeding further. Seifer explains that the person who deals the killing blow gets the most experience and orders to leave it to him because much like Squall, he has fourth-wall breaking powers and is apparently one of those asshole RPG players who thinks the rest of the party is only here to support him. F'n Seifer. I hope you become a recurring boss so I get to kick your ass multiple times, but what are the odds of that ever happening?

Anyway, disobeying orders makes you lose points so it's best to have him deal the killing blow. Simply have Zell and Squall draw Cura and let Seifer handle the damage-dealing and that shouldn't be an issue.




This is also the first time in this playthrough that I'm getting the opportunity to use a Limit Break so I'll go ahead and explain how it works. It's quite simple: when a character's HP gets low (about a quarter of the max HP), there is a chance that a little arrow appears next to the "attack" option and a little jingle plays signifying that you can activate it. To do so, simply press the right button on the D-pad and press the cross button. Some of the Limit Breaks require special input but in Seifer's case, it's all automatic and it's a simple powerful physical attack. It also happens to finish the Archonada so there, you got your extra experience, Seifer.

After another random encounter, Shiva learned Vgr-A, which is the skill I mentioned earlier that allows the the user to junction magic to strength, making their physical attacks stronger that Ifrit knows by default. Hurray! I am now going to have learn Créa-Mgi-Gla, which is used outside of battles and is actually very useful as it allows to turn objects into ice magic so you don't have to rely solely on drawing.

The party arrives at the tower and spy on the Galbadians, only learning that they are trying to reactivate it for some reason. Seifer then goes on about how much he loves to fight and then tries to get Squall to tell him about his dreams. Now, I don't very much like Seifer as I find him to not be a very credible threat for the most part and kind of a weenie but even I've got to admit I really like this little bit here as it shows that they while they may dislike each-other, there is still respect between Squall and Seifer and it give them a bit of a "we could have been friends" story.

Seifer goes ahead and right after that, Selphie shows up again! And she falls flat on her ass again!




This is actually the moment when she gives her name. She's here because she has an important message to give to Seifer and I always get a good laugh out of Selphie asking Squall where their squad leader is and he just silently points out to Seifer running around like a jackass in the distance. Oh and at this point in the English version, Seifer infamously tells Squall that one day, he'll tell him all about his "romantic dreams". Don't worry, the French version doesn't go for such silliness. No, in the French version, he says he's going to tell Squall about his intimate dreams!

...

Seifer, is your eagerness to swordfight with Squall symbolic?

Anyway, Selphie proceeds to try and catch up to him by jumping off a cliff. You can choose to follow her that way but that would result in a loss of points so you'd better just take the slightly longer road and walk down.

Oh and on the way I came across a Bogomile (Geezard) which really surprised me as I don't remember ever seeing them in this area before so... there you go. Even 15 years after buying the game, I still discover new things about it. And yeah, these guys are in a competition with the Nocturnus for weakest enemy in the game.

I have now joined Selphie and before you go any further, make sure to check your junctions as Seifer has left the party and has been replaced by Selphie. So give her the G-Force who was junctioned to Seifer. I also gave her and Squall the "G-Force" ability because as you can probably guess by now, there's a boss fight coming.

Selphie's a lucky girl too because right after junctioning Golgotha to her, a random encounter made it learn the ability that allows its user to junction magic to HP. As you can imagine, it's very, VERY useful and it can be the difference maker in a fight.

Next we meet Wedge and Biggs, the best comedy duo in the World! Seriously, these two can be pretty amazing. And here they are trying to fix the radio tower. And they've succeeded, leading to the most badass introduction an antenna has ever had (trigger warning: crappy PC port music)!

Squall asks Biggs what the Hell is going on, causing him to order Wedge to attack... only to realize that Wedge left a while ago. Awkwaaarrrrrrrd.

As Biggs is trying to leave, Seifer shows up, stops him and... decides not to fight and let the rest of the team to take care of him. What a prince. Biggs actually is a boss battle and he's basically a stronger version of the Elite soldiers and he has Esuna instead of Scan. After a few turns, Wedge actually does show up, only to be told his wage will be withheld for his tardiness. Like Biggs, he's essentially a stronger version of a regular soldier and in fact, he has some pretty powerful spells for this early in the game. Still, they're not that big a deal. I'm basically having Zell draw Esuna for later use and Selphie & Squall spam their G-Forces.

After a few turns of that, Wedge and Biggs are literally blown away and this f'n thing replaces them:



This is Sulfura (Elvoret), probably the first real challenge in the game as it has some very powerful attacks, especially "Haleine Putride" ("Storm breath" in English), which damages the whole team. First things first, make sure to use "Draw" on it and pick "Ondine" (or "Siren" in the English verson). You'll notice you can only stock it; the reason for that is that this is not a spell but a freaking G-Force! That's right, enemies can have G-Forces! Thankfully they never use them but that does mean you can easily miss several of them like that because no, Sulfura is not the only one who's packing.

You can also draw the spells Thunder, Double (which allows you to cast two spells for the price of one) and Cura. Again, I'm having Zell draw while Squall and Selphie spam. Another good strategy is to cast Double on one of the characters so they can cast two Curas in one turn when the going gets rough.

Oh boy. Yeah, I'll confirm my previous statement that this is the first real challenge in the game as this is the first time one of my characters got KO'd as Sulfura cast Fira after a round of Haleine Putride.

Well, the fight is going SO well that I'm actually gonna have to show off Squall's Limit Break: the Renzokuken. This is one of the interactive ones as you have to press R1 at the right time to inflict extra damage. Normally the number of potential hits is randomized¹ but in some fights such as this one, Squall uses a unique combo that always strikes the same amount of times. In this case, it's six. In every case, after the combo is done, there is a chance that Squall hits a finishing move (it does look to me like the more criticals you hit the better your odds of getting a finisher). Since I still have the basic weapon, Squall only knows the basic finisher "Lamineur" (Rough Divide). As we upgrade to better weapons, he'll be able to use different ones and again which one is used is random.

... aaaand even that isn't enough to finish it and with an unlucky critical in Sulfura's favour, my party is slain... I'll get back to you once I've defeated it.

On my second attempt, I ended up using Selphie's Limit Break so I'm gonna go ahead and explain that one as well. It's called Jackpot ("Slots" in the English version) and its gimmick is that before activating it, you get to choose a spell that Selphie will cast. The twist being that you choose by picking either "cast" or "change" and each time you choose change, you are offered a new spell to cast and it can be cast multiple times in the same turn, although some of them are unique spells that can only be used through this Limit Break and can only be cast once per turn.

This is a fantastic Limit Break as not only does it allow you to multicast spells for free, it allows you to use powerful spells you won't be able to get legit for a while and some of the unique attacks are absurdly powerful, such as "The End" which just straights up kills all enemies and even works on some of the bosses! Anyway, I ended up picking Joobu, a unique spell that heals the whole team almost fully. Normally I wouldn't use that one but I really don't want to repeat the previous debacle.

After a few more Golgothas to the face, Sulfura finally dies. Play me out, JR! Sulfura drops an item called "Sel Marin" (translates to "marine salt", as in salt found in the sea, not one that belongs to members of the Navy, and is called "G-Returner" in English. Again, not sure what motivated the bizarre name change in the French version), the March issue of F.F.F., which stands for "Fanzine des Fanas de Flingues" (translates to "Gun Fans Fanzine" and is called "Weapons Mon" in English) and is used to unlock recipes for new weapons... but since this issue only covers base weapons it's basically useless. You CAN unlock the recipes without them as long as you have all the ingredients but these magazines give you lists of the needed ingredients and also make said lists appear in weapons shops so you know what to look for and how much you need. Also Ifrit learned Turbo.

As mentioned earlier, I picked up the G-Force Ondine. She's not super useful in battle, dealing a fairly small amount of damage but her attack causes "mute" on all enemies (as long as they're not immune to it, of course), so it does have its use, and she can learn some very useful abilities, some of which, if I'm not mistaken, she is the only one who can learn them and by default she already knows one that allows, through magic junction to add a chance to inflict a status with physical attacks (for example, I had Squall junction "Morphée" (sleep) to it and he now has a 6% chance of inflicting Sleep with physical attacks), the more of the spell you have, the better the chance. Also, she's stark-naked. Seriously, I'm amazed that got past the censors. Sure, she has a strategically placed harp and feathers hiding her chest but the "feathers" covering her crotch still totally look like pubes.

Phew. Sure glad that’s over. That went on for way longer than I anticipated and that embarrassing Game Over didn’t help. Oh well, at least that thing is dead and we can quietly go back home because now that this thing is dead it’s not like anything else crazy can happen like a giant mechanical spider going after us. HA HA HA, good thing that’s not a thing that’s ever going to happen so I will now confidently call this a wrap for today with zero expectation of being chased by a giant mechanical spider and I’ll be seeing you in part 4!




¹ Well, sort of. It actually depends on a hidden stat that uses a complex algorithm that I won't bother describing here as I don't even understand it very well myself though it does seem like the major factor is how close to death Squall is. So it FEELS random but actually isn't.

[J is Justice]

It's a damn shame too because Fujin is one of my favourite characters in this game and to lose so much of her personality for the sake of a stupid and pointless gimmick is just... urgh.

I liked that gimmick. RAGE!

Jan 10, 2016 16:42:22 GMT -5 SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman said:

"Fire Cave"

Cavern.

Anyway, I like some of the French names. Haleine Putride sounds badass.

[Deleted]

If I ever replay FF8 (unlikely), I'm gonna defeat that damn spider once and for all.

BTW, I found out that Fujins gimmick is close to her gimmick in Japan, where every sentence of hers is just a single kanji.

[Deleted]

I never had an issue with the gun blade. I do think they did it better in FF13 (Yes I know)

It was Clouds Buster Sword that I cant get past. It looks stupid and its bigger than he is. He wouldn't even be able to lift it.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Jan 11, 2016 20:08:38 GMT -5 J is Justice said:

It's a damn shame too because Fujin is one of my favourite characters in this game and to lose so much of her personality for the sake of a stupid and pointless gimmick is just... urgh.

I liked that gimmick. RAGE!

It can be funny every once in a while but it got very old very quick to me. It becomes especially silly when she does give a long speech and suddenly acts nothing like she did up to that point, which further drives home the point that she really was talking like that just to stick to a gimmick.

Jan 11, 2016 21:11:12 GMT -5 @vyse said:

BTW, I found out that Fujins gimmick is close to her gimmick in Japan, where every sentence of hers is just a single kanji.

Fair enough but I don't think screamed single-word sentences is the best way to convey that. It's not like she's very talkative in the French version, but it feels more like she's a woman of few words rather than sticking to a gimmick just 'cause. It doesn't help that I don't really like "verbal tic" running gags in general.

Also, I'm no expert on kanji but I do believe a single kanji can make a full sentence, even if it's a very simple one so basically, short sentences seems more appropriate than Dalek speech.

[J is Justice]

Does Raijin end every sentence in 'ya know' in this version?

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII! Part 4: I’m being chased by a giant mechanical spider.

SON OF A BITCH


Okay! Backing up a bit, Selphie finally got to deliver her message to Seifer, which is an order to evacuate and it turns out there are only 30 minutes left to make it to the beach where we landed. So of course, Seifer did the noble thing and ran ahead, leaving the rest of the group behind. That’s when Biggs pushed some buttons on a remote control thingy and unleashed A GIANT MECHANICAL SPIDER.

On top of that, we are actually being scored on how fast we can make it to the beach and get this: in order to get the maximum score, you have to do it with at least 25 minutes remaining out of 30. To give you an idea of how tough that is, I have less than 29 left by the time I reach the nearest save point due to the cutscene where Biggs does his thing (to be fair, I also took the time to junction Ondine and pick a skill for her to learn but still, that took about twenty seconds tops).

Back to the giant mechanical spider. This is probably the biggest name difference between the French and English version yet as it is called Goliath when in English, it is known by the catchy name X-ATM092. Interesting how the English name sounds more like a serial number and the French name more like a codename. Different ways to approach the same concept.

This thing will chase you all the way to the beach, at least in theory. There are different ways to go about it. The first battle cannot be avoided and you MUST run away when it's down (by holding R2 and L2 at the same time). Don't bother trying to defeat it for now as it will keep getting back up.

Every fight against it after that can be avoided. To do so, you must first rush through the first screen before it has time to catch you, then on the following one (on a flight of stairs), you actually must walk rather than run (as the ground is shaking and running will make the party lose balance and give Goliath a chance to attack), then you'll be on a bridge running from Goliath; it will jump to block your way, at which point you should run in the opposite direction. It will then jump again, and then you can run back in your original direction again, and now you will have time to escape. From the next screen on, just keep running and you're good.

You can also try to destroy Goliath. As I mentioned earlier, you can't do so during the first battle, but later on, if you don't flee when it collapses, it will repair itself and you can keep fighting. After five repairs, you can finally destroy it for good. Obviously, Golgotha and thunder magic are the most efficient way of dealing with this boss. Defeating it is actually pretty worth it as it gets you 50 AP (the equivalent of experience points for G-Forces), a random G-Force ability item and most importantly, you'll gain an extra 100 points on your exam score, giving you an extra rank. So even though trying this basically means giving up on the max score from the time limit thing, I'd say overall it's worth it.

Whichever way you choose, in the screen after the bridge, remember to make the dog run away as if you don't do that, you will lose points. You can also hide from Goliath at that point by entering a pub but I advise against it as that too will make you lose points and quite a lot too.

Right, I'm gonna go for the destruction because I'm mental. If you do too, I advise you to wait until the last screen (the dog one) and evade every other fight. There are two reasons for that: first, you'll be closer to the beach and therefore take less time to reach it and second, after Goliath is defeated, Galbadian soldiers will become a random encounter again, which can make you lose time and possibly even get game over.

A good thing to know is that Goliath has "Carapace" (Protect)¹, a spell that reduces damage from physical attacks. Since Goliath uses a lot of physical attacks, it's of course helpful to draw that spell and cast it on your teammates. The Double spells from earlier can also come in handy to cast two thunder-elemental spells per turn. Goliath's attacks aren't the most powerful, but due to the amount of damage it can take it remains a serious threat as it can still hurt you pretty bad over several turns. Watch out for its "Shockwave" attack (known as "Ray Bomb" in English) as it does a fair amount of damage to the whole team. So even though it's not as dangerous as f'n Sulfura, it's still wise to have one of your characters be the appointed healer (And again, this is why Carapace is very useful). Also, don't bother attacking Goliath while it's repairing as it won't actually do anything. Use that time to heal your team or prepare your attacks for when it gets back up instead.

During the fight, Zell's Limit Break activated so I'll explain that one as well. First of all, it's called "Ring Master" in the French version. That's right, the French version of it is in English whereas the English version is called "Duel", a French word. Becomes sometimes things make too much sense. The way it works is that Zell will start using a combo attack, meanwhile, a list of commands appear on screen and you can enter one as the next attack. There are also special attacks that end the combo and cast a devastating finishing move. Zell can learn new moves from magazines. Keep in mind you're on a timer so make sure to anticipate when to hit those special attacks to maximize the damage.

You can also set the Limit Break to "auto" mode from the menu in which case you won't have to enter commands and attacks will be chosen randomly but I think it's much better to do it manually, especially since the AI takes its sweet time to pick attacks, making you lose potential damage. Unfortunately, this is my least favourite Limit Break as unless you have carefully built Zell for it, it doesn't do that much damage compared to other Limit Breaks. It does get better as you unlock new moves but in general, I'd rather keep Zell healthy and have him be a support character.




I win that first battle without much trouble and right after healing Zell too so that should make the next fight easier. It comes earlier than expected as I pathetically fail to avoid its next attack, even though I just explained how to do it... *sigh* I'll blame the Let's Play curse. As I mentioned earlier, running away outside of the previous battle makes you lose points so I'm gonna try and finish it right now. It goes fairly smoothly for the most part but then it KO'd Golgotha (as G-Forces have their own HP and take damage instead of the characters before being summoned) which is a rather unfortunate turn of events. The good news is Selphie and Zell are better spellcasters than I thought and actually do a decent amount of damage, especially with Double on. Goliath goes down for the fifth time, which is the last. I still have to take out all his HP, but he won't repair any more and I can finally get rid of it once and for all. After a couple more Limit Breaks, it is finally destroyed! HURRAY!! Except... I only have 9 seconds left.


...



Lanipator, I'm gonna need your help on that one.

Here we go again...

There. I did it on the second try. And it wasn't even that difficult. I even have a whopping seven minutes left to make it to the beach. I think the problem on the first try was that I had squall spam Shiva and the thing is, even though her attack is powerful, it also takes a long time to play out. Also, considering Golgotha's attack is powerful enough to make Goliath collapse in almost just one hit (at least when boosted with Turbo), it was pointless to use such a powerful attack when less powerful but much faster ones worked just as well. So basically, I lost because I acted like an idiot. Go me.

On the upside, with Goliath gone, the dog is automatically saved so there's no need to worry about that. And of course, there's all the good stuff, the extra points, plus not losing any points from fleeing. If you don't destroy Goliath, there is a cutscene at the end that I actually feel kind of bad for skipping because it is absurdly awesome, especially the way it ends, so I'm gonna go ahead and link you to it. With slightly over one minute on the clock, I finally make it to the boat and we hightail it out of there.

Back in Balamb, Seifer of course immediately leaves with Fujin and Raijin while whining about how the team that did all the work was getting in his way. He even takes the car we came with and leaves us to walk back. F'n ass. I take a moment to check my junctions as my G-Forces learned some skills that I didn't really take the time to check before due to that whole "giant mechanical spider" thing and there's something I really want to show you. You see, Ondine learned a skill that allows its user to junction magic to protect them from status changes. As you can imagine, this is extremely useful. Normally, you can only pick one spell and have your character become increasingly resilient to it... but here's what happens when you pick Esuna:




That's right! It protects you from almost every status! So yeah, might want to hang on to those.

Now that the exam is over, we can finally talk to NPCs and look around, so let’s visit Balamb, shall we? This is Zell's hometown and there can be unique NPC interactions when he's in the party and it actually become a gameplay mechanic later on. First, let's get in the mood with the music. I really cannot praise this game's soundtrack enough and much like the BGU theme, this music just immediately puts you in a good mood, doesn't it? It's just so relaxing and makes you feel right at home. You just want to lie down and feel the cool wind of the ocean against your face. It's just lovely. After the exam, you arrive at the harbour but there isn't much interest there for now.




Next we see the town's hotel. Considering how beat up my characters and G-Forces are, I think I'll go pay it a visit. In fact, even if you don't want to rest, you might want to check as in the bedroom is an issue of Timber Maniacs. Again, it's one of those things that will become relevant later. To the left is a road with a draw point containing Thunder, a weapons shop and two houses that can be entered. Not much point in me visiting the shop right now as I can't unlock any new weapon yet.




The house nearest from the screen is actually Zell's home! You can meet his mom there for some cutesy mother-son talk. Trying to go inside Zell's room is a fruitless effort as he doesn't allow you to do so. Not much else in here but you can challenge his mom to a game of Triple Triad and she actually has a card of her son. It's a very good one so you might want to do it. Keep in mind that Zell MUST be in your party for her to play it and it may take a while until she plays it.

To the left of the road with the draw point is an area just outside Balamb Station. There's an item shop (although I'd wait for now before buying anything since we're gonna start getting a wage soon anyway and we don't really need anything so no point in getting broke) and this person:




This is Ishtar, the Queen of Cards and oddly enough, the French version is apparently the only one where she gets an actual name. In every other version, she's only referred to as "Queen of Cards". She has the power to make a region adopt certain sets of rules for Triple Triad as yes, rules can change and there are regional variants. Although she is pricey as she will ask for 30 000 gils to do so. Interestingly, unlike most NPCs, she is constantly moving as she will go to a different location after either losing or winning a rare card against you. She is part of a sidequest that involves intentionally losing rare cards to her (don't worry, you can win them back later) that I never actually did and you know what? I'm in the mood to try it out. So there you go, Ishtar, enjoy your MiniMog card (which you can win from a little boy in a blue shirt who keeps running around in the BGU who is most often in the main hall. Can't miss him).

Back to the road, going north leads to the town's gate with a garage. where you can rent a car (don't bother) and a couple NPCs. And now that I've seen everything I wanted, it's back to the BGU, where Zell and Selphie go on their own while waiting for the exam results. When you make it to the hall, you find Shu, Quistis and Cid talking about the mission. They explain that they found out that the radio station was Galbadia's real target and they have accepted to leave Dollet as long as the tower is repaired and reactivated. Hm... radio tower... what's going on with that radio tower? I also love that Shu laments the fact that had the Galbadian army stuck around, the BGU could have made more money. Oh you, Shu! But seriously, I always like when games give even minor NPCs little quirks like that.

Talking to Shu simply has her congratulate Squall on doing well during the mission. Quistis even says that he's her best student... but that he's not very talkative. What's more interesting, at least when it comes to comparing translations is when you talk to Cid. He asks Squall how it felt being in an actual battle. In the English version, the third option is "whatever" which, even if you've never played FF8, your probably know, at least from memes, that this is Squall's catchphrase in the English version. In the French version though, every instance of it has been replaced with different sentences depending on context. In fact, the same goes for pretty much every catchphrase or speech gimmick found in the English version.

Again, I find it to be a good choice. I actually think the "whatever" thing is part of the reason why Squall is so unpopular in the US as it does tend to make him come off as a whiny teen trying to act too cool for school like nothing really matters to him and nothing affects him. Here he actually acts like an actual human being and comes off as much more likeable. Or at least he doesn't sound like a pretentious douchebag. And stuff like that is actually part of the reason I why I dislike speech tics as it feels forced and tends to diminish the character's personality by makng them stick to a gimmick rather than actually have them act like a person.



"I was relaxed"/"panicked to death"/"nothing special"


And come to think of it, Cid also comes off better here as when you select that option in the English version, he has a bizarre freak out or something and just goes "Whatever? That's great! Whatever!" but in the French version, Squall first says "as usual" to which Cid replies "My God! What must your daily life be like?!". Well Cid, I started my day by having some blonde bitch slash my forehead with a sword that's also a gun so you tell me.

Conveniently, the kid in a blue shirt I just mentioned is also around and not running for once so if you want to get that MiniMog card for Ishtar's quest, now's a good time to do so. In fact, the boy and another NPC are blocking the way, so the only place we can go is to the right, where Seifer is hanging out. Talking to him triggers a cutscene where he whines about not getting to be a hero because of the order to evacuate, despite the fact that he did nothing and was the first to bravely run away away when the order to evacuate was given. Quite satisfyingly, Quistis calls him out, but then Seifer drops the bomb that Quistis has been future endeavoured, at least as a teacher (she remains a SeeD). Shu basically replies that he still sucks and is never going to be a SeeD, then Cid comes up to basically confirm that Seifer's actions during the mission pretty much blew any chance he had of ever becoming a SeeD. After that, an announcement is made over the PR that the students who took part in the exam must go to the 1st floor.

A bunch of students are waiting, including Fujin and Raijin, which is weird considering they didn't take the exam. A templar comes up and announces that Zell Dincht passed and... that's it! I actually did so bad during the exam that I failed, my save is erased and I have to start the whole game over. That's right, the game actually has a mechanic tha- okay no, that doesn't happen. Got you going for a second there though, didn't I? No? Okay. Yeah, of course Squall passes as well and now Cid is going to give us our diploma!

Turns out a whopping 4 students passed and one of the other two is Selphie! Good for her, and I'll let you take a moment to recover from the shock that the other playable character also passed. Cid starts giving a speech about SeeD's purpose, about how it's not just about fighting and I love how a Templar then cuts him off and just tells him to please keep it short and then finishes the speech for him, especially with Cid's "What the Hell, man?" reaction. Another thing I find funny is that every student is standing perfectly still, doing a salute... except Zell, who tries but is all jittery. They then rejoin with the students who failed, where Seifer... kicks off a round of applause! Even Squall is looking a little bit touched.




Afterwards, I am given the breakdown of how I did during the Dollet mission and awarded my initial SeeD rank. Turns out I did really well as my initial rank is 8 (out of a possible 10)! That's the highest initial rank I ever got and it would have been higher if I hadn't been so slow when evacuating. This means that my salary is currently 6000 gils. The salary is awarded after a certain number of steps and increases with the rank. Indeed, the rank can be raised for playing well or lowered if you're just f'n around. The rank can also be increased by taking written tests (accessible from the menu) or during specific events through the game. After a fade to black, Selphie comes to find me. She is wearing her SeeD uniform and is telling me to put mine on to go to the celebration ball! And this is what's waiting for us in Part 5!





¹ Bizarrely, the French name translates to "Shell" despite the fact that in the English version, "Shell" is the name of the spell that reduces magical damage, which is called "Blindage" in French (literally "plating" or "padding"). I actually think the French version makes a bit more sense as in real life, protection from damage is what shells are for.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII! Part 5: Prom night! Everything is alright!

Alright, I'm warning you right away, this one will be light on gameplay and heavy on story as we have quite a lot of cutscenes in a row. Hey, this IS a Final Fantasy game, after all. We start with another costume change as Squall puts on his SeeD uniform.



Lookin' dapperer.


After talking to Selphie, we fade to he actual ball, where Squall is of course brooding, because... Squall. Zell comes to try and make small talk, which Squall of course ignores. After he leaves, it's Selphie's turn to come and try to defrost our Ice King. She asks if you want to become part of the organisation committee for the end-of-year party that I mentioned in Part 1 and you actually have the choice to accept or refuse. As far as I can't tell it doesn't affect anything either way but it's nice. And you know what? I'm going to say yes just because I get my kicks from imagining party animal Squall trying to set this thing up.



"If it makes you happy" / "Hum, I don't feel like it"


But seriously, I actually really like Squall's response if you choose that option as he says "It looks like you're working hard for it". I like the idea that even if he's not that much into it himself, Squall respects people who put effort into their own goals and is willing to support them. It gives him more personality than just the "urgh, whatever, everything is meaningless" archetype he's often caricatured as. Of course, Selphie is ecstatic upon hearing that.

Squall then notices a cute girl because brooding or no brooding, the main reason 17-year-old boys go to parties is to check out the chicks.



"Waiter! I'll have one hot boy, please!"


The girl comes to flirt and asks if he'll dance with her and Squall refuses, and normally I'd call him out on it and say he's an idiot for refusing an invitation from a cute girl who likes him and he's clearly attracted to as well just to keep his dark and angsty façade... but I love how rather than just brushing her off, he awkwardly makes up the excuse that he's a bad dancer. It makes it come off less like he's being an angsty prick and more like he's being awkward when a girl he likes actually talks to him... which I think anyone who's gone through puberty can relate to. Another nice thing about this scene is that it shows that whereas Squall has no problem being rude to everyone else, when it's her, suddenly he's a lot nicer, almost despite himself. The girl insists that he'll be great and freaking drags him to the dancefloor! And now ladies and gentlemen, I give you what is probably the most famous scene in the entire game...




Needless to say, I love this cutscene. It could have been just an asinine flirtatious moment but there are actually quite a few details that makes it great in my opinion. For starters, Squall starting off awkward and standoffish but progressively becoming more confident and actually enjoying the dance not only makes the scene more interesting, but it's a good symbol of the entire story and his personal character arc. The fact that his usually cool under pressure demeanour completely shatters when this girl is around is also kind of cute but I think my favourite part is the small smile he has at the end, with a peaceful expression that shows that this is the moment when he starts to realize that yeah, maybe opening up to people CAN be nice. You can really tell through the scene that as the dance goes on, he starts forgetting about his own preconceived notions about life and discovers that having fun can be... well, fun.

Another interesting thing about this scene - and a little bit of trivia for you guys - is that it was remade as a tech demo for the PS2. This footage even lead to a rumour back in the days that FF8 was being remade for the PS2 when people in the West assume this was footage for a game being developed. Don't be silly guys, we can't remake FF8 when we clearly need about five hundred sequels nobody asked for to Final Fantasy 7, 10 and 13 beforehand!

Unfortunately, as you can see in the video, she eventually leaves and Squall goes to experience another staple of any teenage boy's life: the "dammit I can't believe I blew my one opportunity" moment. Quistis come to interrupt and finds it rather odd that Squall barely speaks to her yet dances with a complete stranger. Most importantly though, she tells him that the two of them are to go to the "secret zone", which is an area where students sneak out too after the curfew (and I guess they must want to sneak out real bad considering it's inside the combat greenhouse). Squall jokes that he doesn't really want to go scold students for breaking the curfew, which does give Quistis a good chuckle.

Before that, we must change clothes again (last time, promise!) and Squall is back in his regular clothes. After that, it's off the the combat greenhouse. No point in trying to go anywhere else as Templars are blocking every other area due to the curfew. Guess the greenhouse remains open because... you never know when you might want a midnight fight? Once there, Quistis gives a tutorial on giving your physical attacks status through junction, which I already showed earlier. She also gives a trick to beating the T-Rex easily: cast "Morphée" (sleep) on him, which is of course why junctionning it to your attacks is very useful here and conveniently, it was that exact spell that I junctioned.

The main enemies in the greenhouse are plant monsters called Orchida (Grat). They can be dangerous early on if you're not careful, at least when there's more than one, especially since one of their attacks can poison you and another one can make you sleep but overall they're fairly manageable and obviously fire and ice attacks do extra damage against them. Oh and it knows Morphée and Aphasie (Silence) so they're a good for farming these spells as well.

As I mentioned earlier, there are also T-Rexes (or "T-Rexaurs" as the English version calls them). I talked a bit about them and yeah, they're very dangerous, especially this early in the game, not to mention they have a shit-ton of HP. The tips Quistis gave is pretty useful and you can also blind it. Interestingly, Ankou (Doom) also has a high success rate on them so if you're lucky enough to find those spells, they'll come in very handy here. They are also very weak to ice and for a bit of spoiler, if you use an ability that'll come later in the hame called "Kannibal" ("Devour") and it works, the user will have their strength stat raised by one. But yeah, for now, unless you're doing it as a self-imposed challenge, it's probably best to just run away if you meet it.

If you want, there's a save point just before the entrance to the "secret zone" and a "Glacier" draw point containing a bit further. Entering the secret zone triggers a cutscene. There are two couples cuddling here as well and as cute as it is, I love to imagine these kids trying to convince their loved one to join them for a romantic evening of slashing killer plants and gazing at the stars. Maybe those plants emit pheromones too? More seriously, Quistis says it's been a while since she's been there, implying that even the straight-laced teacher used to like to sneak out as a student. Quistis tells Squall that indeed, she is no longer a teacher and will now be a full-time SeeD and actually seems rather happy at the thought of potentially working with Squall.




Still, it does get to her that she was told she isn't made to lead and she wonders where she went wrong considering how well she did up to that point, becoming a SeeD at age 15 and an instructor at age 17 and she had only been one for a year by that point. Squall isn't exactly uplifting:

Quistis: Are you listening to me?

Squall: Are you done? What do you expect me to say about your disappointments and your fears?

Quistis: I'm not expecting you to say anything! I just want you to listen to me!

Squall: But I can't do anything to comfort you.

Quistis: That's okay. Listening already helps a lot.

Squall: Talking, listening, all of that is useless. Each one of us is all alone in the world. I don't want to carry any more load but my own. *he leaves*

Quistis: Not made to lead... maybe they're right...

This... is one of the few moments I really don't like about this game. Now for the theme of Squall becoming more mature and realizing the importance of friendship and that opening up isn't a sign of weakness or gullibility, I understand making him dismissive, but the thing is, in this scene... it's not even fitting his character. He's just being rudely dismissive for the sake of being rudely dismissive. And he's really being kind of whiny. And I've said it before and I'll say it again: contrary to what he's made out to be by some people, Squall is NOT whiny. He's not an insensitive asshole. Sure, he's not exactly mister sunshine but he does what he's gotta do even if he doesn't like it and doesn't complain about having to do it.

This is one of the scenes I really hope they change if they do ever remake the game. again, Squall SHOULD be dismissive in this scene, but not be a dick about it and certainly not go "waaaah! I don't wanna hear about YOUR problems! MY life is so much harder than yours! Boo hoo!" like he does as it currently is. Dude, YOU just graduated, getting the job you worked for years to get while your friend, the woman who made it possible for you to get where you are, just lost her job for bullshit reasons. Don't go crying about how much load you have to carry when you're in a much better position than she is. It's especially jarring considering it comes right after several scenes that show that he is a layered character and there is more to him than brooding, and that up to that point, his interactions with Quistis were rather positive with him being fairly nice to her.

Ideally, I think the way it should have gone would have been to start more or less the same, but don't have Squall just go "urgh, you pouring your heart out to me is so annoying" and actually have him listen. Then, have him give a "life's hard, wear a helmet" speech without being rude about it, telling her that she shouldn't expect the world to be fair to her, that it's not other people's job to improve her life and that it would be pointless for him to tell her that it would have been awesome if she could have done something that just isn't going to happen.

You still get the same point across and you still have Squall be harsh without him coming off like an insensitive prick who wants the World to pity him. Hell, he could even tell her that as his instructor, she's the one who made him understand that you only get what you earn through hard work. And then, maybe as he leaves, have him say something like "You can't be a teacher any more? Then make sure you become the best damn SeeD ever. Stop crying about what didn't work and focus on what you CAN do".

Well, now that I'm done rewriting the weaker parts of the story (hey, just because it's my favourite game doesn't mean it's perfect), back to the game. The two of them leave and we once again see why this place is such a romantic spot as someone screams for help.




Recognize her? Yup, it's the girl from the infirmary and it looks like she knows Squall and Quistis. Hm... shenanigans are afoot. Also, you might have noticed the giant bug attacking her.




This is Lygus (Granaldo), assisted by three Cujos (Raldos) and this is technically a boss battle. I say technically because it's probably the weakest boss in the entire game, especially after the stuff we've seen in Dollet. Seriously, many regular enemies even this early in the game are a bigger threat. in fact, it later gets demoted to a regular enemy and it's still not much of a threat. It's not very powerful, it doesn't have a lot of HP, it's not very resilient. Honestly you shouldn't even need G-Forces to beat that guy. Physical attacks and MAYBE magic if you want to speed it along should be more than enough.

I guess you can draw some spells from them but even those aren't particularly interesting. Lygus uses the Cujos as weapons by throwing and dropping them on you, doing very little damage. Kill the Cujos (one or two regular attacks should do the trick for each one of them) and Lygus will basically be defenceless except for some really weak physical attacks. Shameful. Bah. You go to your room and think about you've done, Lygus. You're an embarassment to Bosskind. it does give you a lot of AP so I guess it IS useful for something.

After Lygus and the Cujos die from being useless, the girl collapses and some weird guys in white uniforms come to pick her up. I'd call them out for not helping sooner but honestly they probably felt embarrassed for the monsters at this point. Quistis and Squall leave the greenhouse and then separate. Back to the dorm, Zell informs me that my room has been upgraded to a SeeD room, which is a bit roomier than the previous one. It's one again one of these little touches that aren't really necessary but I really like as it helps make this universe feel more real, showing the status difference between cadets and SeeD members. Squall goes to bed and after a fade to black, he's woken up by Selphie for their first mission, which we'll begin next time, for part 6.

[aka Cthulhu]

Reading through this made me realize how much I don't remember about this game, especially during the start. Like I wasn't really interested in RPGs back then... and I was pretty bad at it (for example, I was playing FF7 some months before FF8, and what I did was give Cloud all the summon materia, making his HP a measly 1k at the end of the game). That said, the longer I played this game the more I got better at playing RPGs.

Anyway... yeah, this looks like a great opportunity to refresh my mind of this game, since aside from a few points, I know next to nothing anymore about FF8. I really should replay the game, but for now I'll keep watch of this thread instead.

Things I do recall at this point in the game;

-Barely used draw at this point. Never got Siren due to that, and basically didn't understand that it'd benefit the characters if I got a ton of magic to increase their stats until much, much later.
-It really took a long time for me to upgrade weapons... like, at the end of the game only two characters had their final weapons.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII! Part 6: First day on the job

After waking up, you'll immediately notice that there is a magazine on the desk in Squall's room. Pick it up as it is one of those weapons magazines and this one actually shows updates for some of the weapons. Now's a good time to look around the BGU some more so go ahead and do that if you want, especially since we'll be away from here for a while. For example, remember the Quistis fans in the cafeteria I mentioned earlier? Well, the dark-skinned one who's madly in love with her has her Triple Triad card so if you're collecting them, make sure to challenge him.

Oh and you can now access Cid's office in the second floor. There isn't much to do there but it's interesting. If you go to the first floor, be careful as one of the NPCs will ask to see your gunblade and if you accept to show it, a teacher will scold you and you will lose a SeeD rank.

Here are some random fun little things. If you go in the classroom, you'll find a girl there who is a Quistis fan and keeps track of the number of enemies killed by Quistis and Squall and another one who keeps track of how many times they've been KO'd. Still in the classroom, if you look at the computer and check the page for the yearly party, you will find that it has now become Selphie's web page! It gets updated through the game and while it's just fluff, I'm sure at least some of you will find it fun. Finally, one really strange thing to me is that I saw an unnamed NPCs in a SeeD outfit just walking around. I don't remember that ever happening as the generic NPCs in the BGU are normally in cadet outfits, so that's weird.

Before I go on with the plot, I'm going to go to the combat greenhouse for a little bit just so my SeeD rank doesn't drop. For indeed, if you stay too long without fighting and are just messing around, your rank will lower and so will your salary. On the other hand, if you defeat enough enemies without using G-Forces between pays, you can gain a rank. Make your way to the BGU entrance and you'll eventually meet up with Selphie, Cid and a Templar. Zell make his entrance on a freaking hoverboard, for which he gets scolded by the Templar. He argues it would be useful in mission. The Templar doesn't agree and confiscates it, which is a real damn shame because holy shit how awesome would that thing have been in battle?!




Oh well. Cid states that Squall, Selphie and Zell are to go to the city of Timber to support a resistance group and the Templar gives us a password that will help us identify ourselves. Zell understandably finds it strange that only the three of them are sent and the Templar explains that they accepted the mission for an unusually low price, which they would not have usually accepted. Cid names Squall the team leader. After that, you can move and talking to Cid again makes him give you a cursed object called "Aladore" ("Magic Lamp" in the English version) that Cid claims can be a very powerful weapon.

Time to go! I junctioned Ifrit to Zell and Golgotha to Selphie (with Squall still having Shiva and Ondine) and I make my way to Balamb as we need to use the train to get to Timber. But before that, feel free to actually browse the shop since you now actually make money. Make sure to keep at least 3000 gils on the side though as that's what a train ticket costs. Inside the train, Zell goes to check out the car reserved to SeeDs while Selphie stays in the corridor to look out the window. Zell is very happy the car and hands Squall a magazine called "l'ami des bêtes" ("Pet Pals" in the English version, which is pretty much a direct translation). It will become useful very soon.

Zell offers to give you a short history of Timber (as it turns out Zell is a bit of a nerd as you'll be able to see through the game). If you accept, he'll tell you that it was invaded 18 years ago by Galbadia and that many resistance groups exist but they are not united. Selphie comes in, saying that she doesn't feel right. Squall actually looks worried and Zell also starts to feel weird, and then the two of them just straight-up collapse! Squall himself starts to feel drowsy and hears a high-pitched noise before passing out.



This mission is off to a grand start.


After a fade to black, the scene is changed to a group of three Galbadian soldiers in a forrest while the regular group comments in transparent text boxes:



"Laguna, are you sure this is the right way?" "(What the Hell is this?)"


I am in control of that group, who appears to have replaced the usual guys for now. Even their battle music is different, and it is so awesome that even people who don't like the game tend to praise it. And because I'm feeling generous, here's the Smooth McGroove version! And here's the Black Mages version while we're at it! Yeah, this music is just a bit popular. So we have the leaders name, Laguna, and the other two are Ward (the fat guy) and Kiros (the Black guy). You'll notice that Laguna has the same junctions as Squall, Ward has Selphie's and Kiros has Zell's. There are draw points in the way which you can't miss. One of them is for H2O (Water), a useful and fairly rare spell so make sure you don't ignore it.

Ward and Kiros wonder why they're fighting monsters rather than the Trabian army and it turns out Laguna simply got lost, which is not unusual for him if the other two's reactions are anything to go by. In fact, Laguna pretty much says "heh, screw it, let's just go home". And so they do. They take a personal carrier vehicle and make it to a city that I'm going to tell you right away is called Deling City. Laguna parks right in the middle of the road and offers his teammates a drink. Yeah, as you can probably already tell, Laguna is pretty much the polar opposite of Squall: outgoing and friendly but incompetent in terms of military skills (although he IS a very strong fighter). In fact, there is a pretty noticeable contrast between the two groups in general, with Laguna being a goofball with two more serious teammates whereas Squall is a serious leader with two goofball teammates.

Now, here's a bit that still confuses me to this day: Ward and Kiros' reaction to the offer, while always positive, is different from playthrough to playthrough. In some cases, they says "you know, we never say 'no' to getting hammered" and Laguna pretty much replies with "What are you talking about? This is a gentlemanly affair between friends!" but in some cases such as this time, they say this:

Kiros: You don't drink, Laguna!¹ No need to make up excuses to rush to the bar.

Ward: Yeah, just order a strawberry smoothie and go drool in front of your pianist...

Laguna: But... wha... what pianist? Forget it, I'm not going!

I don't know what triggers either dialogue. For all I know, it could just be random and I find it weird that it's even there in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I like that, especially as it makes multiple playthroughs less repetitive, but it is undeniably weird.

Anyway, Laguna is a filthy liar as he does go to the bar! Well actually, I am back in control and I can now visit the city, which seems heavily inspired by Paris, complete with its own version of the Arc de Triomphe. Then again, most of it is blocked off for now but still, it does give you a taste of a place that will be majorly important in not too long. If you speak to the various Galbadian soldiers in town, it seems that Laguna is pretty famous as all of them seem to know him (and his crush for the bar's pianist). One of them even refers to him as "sir", implying that he must be a fairly important officer (which might explain why he can get away with just pissing off from the battlefield like that).

So I make it to the bar and a waitress informs me that the usual table is ready. You then get three options: "I'll go take a walk first", "very well, I'm coming" and "What? Sorry?", that last one being the regular group being confused. If you pick the third one, Laguna will just act confused. You can talk to the waitress again and get similar but slightly changed options and if you pick the third one again, Kiros and Ward will admit that their heads have been buzzing too, though Ward shrugs it off as just them being tired.

Of course, to continue the story, you have to pick the second option, at which point Laguna & Co sit down while the other group keeps commenting. Guys, seriously, I'm the one doing the Let's Play, thank you very much. I do love that amidst the confusion, Selphie comments that Laguna is hot. At least I assume it's Selphie saying that as the text boxes do not specify which character is speaking. The pianist they mentioned earlier arrives, the lovely Julia, and Kiros and Ward egg Laguna on to go make his move, but he's getting nervous. I also like that Ward says "Oh go on, we know damn well that you'll do it". It shows that these guys may like to rib one-another but they do have one-another's back as well.

At this point, I am back in control of Laguna and I can approach Julia. And so I do. In a cutscene, Laguna works up the nerve to talk to her, walks up to her and... immediately bends over as his leg cramps up. He pathetically staggers back to his friends while the other group mock him. By the way, I love how at this point, Squall, Zell and Selphie have pretty much stopped asking questions and have just become the two old men from the Muppet Show.



"(It's pitiful...)"


Ward and Kiros do congratulate him on at least making the effort, but they do point out that he wasn't exactly a shining example of virility. Suddenly, Kiros and Ward take off, saying that the drinks are on them and telling Laguna to keep cool. Hm... I wonder why.




Yup, Julia was apparently very impressed with Laguna's cramping abilities and is coming for a talk. Laguna is doing his best but is incredibly stressed out, with Squall (I think) saying that he is beyond saving. Oh yeah, Squall, we've all seen what a smooth-talker YOU are with the ladies. Things do go well. Very well, in fact as Julia is inviting him in her room. To talk, get your head out of the gutter. The Squall group keeps cheerleading as Laguna ponders the situation.



"Well, it's time to use my manly charm to help Julia)" [I'm including this screenshot because I have no clue why the specific word "charm" is apparently said by both Laguna and the Squall team]


Laguna gets to Julia's room or some hot, steamy talking. Now to be honest, it is a very cute scene, especially with Laguna being so incredibly nervous. Laguna finds out that Julia has noticed him before, so I guess it wasn't his cramping that really seduced her. Damn, and I was going to use that pickup technique next time, too. Julia decides to calm him down by offering him some wine. Later, Laguna explains that while he doesn't really like fighting, he enjoys travelling around the world and that he'd like to leave the army to become a journalist. I guess Kiros was right about Laguna not drinking as the wine made him fall asleep. When he wakes up, he is of course sorry but Julia finds it adorable. Laguna asks Julia to tell him about herself, he asks whet her dream is.

She says she wants to be a singer but that she lacks the inspiration to write lyrics. However, she thinks that he could very well become her inspiration. She says she wants to sing about the stories he's told her, all the good moments and the hard ones. Needless to say Laguna is ecstatic... but just when it looks like things are about to go further between them Kiros calls Laguna as they have received orders to go to the president's palace. Julia asks if they'll meet again and Laguna says of course! So he can hear her sing!

Oh if you poor naive loveable fools only knew...




Squall's team wakes up just as an announcement is made that the train is arriving at Timber. Zell wonders if they were hit with sleeping gas, which isn't that far-fetched considering they're mercenaries on their way to provide support for freedom fighters. However... that theory goes out the window when they realize they all dreamt the same thing. In the English version, Squall famously says the he dreamt he was a moron. In the French version, he says he dreamt he was a clown and I've got to say, while the two versions are fairly close, I actually like the English one better this time. I don't know, it's just funnier to me.

Squall suggests that they don't think about it too much and says that he'll talk about it with Cid once they go back to the BGU and the other two agree. I would like to mention that I really like how Squall seems genuinely intrigued when the other two mention they dreamt the same thing and he doesn't just shrug it off, even considering important enough to mention to the headmaster. Again, it shows that he doesn't just dismiss this kind of stuff and even though he won't admit it yet, how the people around him feel does affect him. And it also shows that he can keep his team focused on the important stuff. And with that, we make it to Timber and I'll see you later for part 7, where we will meet the Timber Owls. No, it's not a sports team.




¹ I find that hard to believe.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Jan 12, 2016 8:27:59 GMT -5 J is Justice said:

Does Raijin end every sentence in 'ya know' in this version?

Sorry it took me so long to reply. No, Raijin doesn't say that here. In fact, pretty much every verbal tic like that was replaced with different phrases, depending on context (or in Raijin's case, removed entirely).

Jan 14, 2016 18:31:36 GMT -5 aka Cthulhu said:

Reading through this made me realize how much I don't remember about this game, especially during the start. Like I wasn't really interested in RPGs back then... and I was pretty bad at it (for example, I was playing FF7 some months before FF8, and what I did was give Cloud all the summon materia, making his HP a measly 1k at the end of the game). That said, the longer I played this game the more I got better at playing RPGs.

Anyway... yeah, this looks like a great opportunity to refresh my mind of this game, since aside from a few points, I know next to nothing anymore about FF8. I really should replay the game, but for now I'll keep watch of this thread instead.

Things I do recall at this point in the game;

-Barely used draw at this point. Never got Siren due to that, and basically didn't understand that it'd benefit the characters if I got a ton of magic to increase their stats until much, much later.
-It really took a long time for me to upgrade weapons... like, at the end of the game only two characters had their final weapons.

If that's any consolation, I was very much the same during my first run (which I didn't actually complete as I got stuck before the final battle, loaded an older save I kept around out of boredom and then accidentally saved over my main file). Basically, my first playthrough was a long string of me going "Oooooh... I'm an idiot!" as I realized I missed obvious details. For starters, it took me until after the Sulfur Mines/Fire Cavern to realize that I had to junction G-Forces to characters to get them to use various abilities (SOMEHOW I actually did beat Ifrit with just physical attacks) despite reading about it in the manual AND the multiple tutorials about it and even after that, I had a bad tendency to forget to re-adjust the junctions when switching teams despite the game reminding you to do so.

I did use "draw" but not very efficiently and yeah, took me a while to upgrade the weapons as well. I somehow made it to the final boss without the Lion Heart, but then I kept getting destroyed by said boss. Seriously, people say this game is too easy and the mechanics can easily be exploited (which... to be fair, isn't an entirely unwarranted accusation) but man, trying to go through the 4th CD let alone beat the final boss without the Lion Heart is near impossible.

[aka Cthulhu]

Jan 15, 2016 5:23:35 GMT -5 SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman said:

Jan 12, 2016 8:27:59 GMT -5 J is Justice said:

If that's any consolation, I was very much the same during my first run (which I didn't actually complete as I got stuck before the final battle, loaded an older save I kept around out of boredom and then accidentally saved over my main file). Basically, my first playthrough was a long string of me going "Oooooh... I'm an idiot!" as I realized I missed obvious details. For starters, it took me until after the Sulfur Mines/Fire Cavern to realize that I had to junction G-Forces to characters to get them to use various abilities (SOMEHOW I actually did beat Ifrit with just physical attacks) despite reading about it in the manual AND the multiple tutorials about it and even after that, I had a bad tendency to forget to re-adjust the junctions when switching teams despite the game reminding you to do so.

I did use "draw" but not very efficiently and yeah, took me a while to upgrade the weapons as well. I somehow made it to the final boss without the Lion Heart, but then I kept getting destroyed by said boss. Seriously, people say this game is too easy and the mechanics can easily be exploited (which... to be fair, isn't an entirely unwarranted accusation) but man, trying to go through the 4th CD let alone beat the final boss without the Lion Heart is near impossible.

Never got Lion Heart, but by that point I figured out some things. Namely, drawing a certain magic from a boss, finding a certain card which I turned into items, and pretty much spamming AP ammo until the very end of the game.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Let's Play (the French) Final Fantasy VIII: Triple Triad Special!

Alright, you're getting a double dose of FF8 today as while I'm working on the next "official" part, what I was waiting for finally happened: someone is playing Triple Triad with more than the basic rules, so it's finally time to showcase the mini-game. But first, let's get in the mood with the Triple Triad music: Shuffle Or Boogie!



The basic premise is very simple: there's a 3x3 board and you can place a card on any unoccupied square. Each player picks 5 cards from their deck, one player is blue, one is red and the goal is to turn most of the cards to your colour.



Each card has four numbers printed on it, whose value goes from 1 to A (A being 10). When cards are placed next to each other the numbers corresponding to their position are compared (So, say you place a card to the left of another, then the number to the right on your card will be compared to the number to the left on the opponent's card) and if the number on the card that has just been placed has a higher value, it turns the other card to its colour. If not, they both stay to their colour. Note that it is possible to turn multiple cards at the same time by placing a card next to several of the opposing colour.



There are however other rules that can spice things up. In this example, we are using:

"Open", meaning that the player must keep their hand visible for the duration of the game, allowing for more forward planning.

"Identique", meaning that if a card is placed next to multiple cards of the opposing colour and all numbers are equal, the player gets to turn the opposing cards.

There is also always a trade rule as the cards are not only the tools to play but also the wager. The default rule is "One", meaning you pick one card to take but here, we are using "Change" (called "Difference" in English and it's weird that the French translation doesn't use the same word as it is also used in French and is actually more appropriate), which means that the winner can pick a number of cards equal to the points difference at the end of the game. So if the score is, say 6-4, the winner gets to pick 2 cards.

Here's a brief explanation of the other rules:


Playing rules:

"Même Mur" ("Same Wall") - the French name is really stupid on that one as it's a direct translation of the English name despite the fact that's it's an extension of the "Identique" rule so it would make sense for it to be called "Mur Identique". Here the board's edges count as cards with an A value, allowing you apply the "Same" rule even if you only have one match.

"Plus" - if a card is placed next to multiple cards of the opposing colour and adding up the value of each comparison gives the same number, the player gets to turn the opposing cards even if their card's numbers are lower. For example, let's say you place a card between two opposing cards and in one "battle", your number is 2 and the opponent's is 5 and in the other battle, your number is 4 and the opponent's is 3, they both equal 7 and so you get to turn them both.

"Combo" - If cards are turned through "Identique" or "Same" (and therefore "Même Mur" as well), they will also turn adjacent cards with a lower value.

"Aléatoire" ("Random") - F*** THIS RULE. F*** IT FOREVER. It makes you pick random cards for your hand rather than allowing you to choose them. Needless to say, this tends to screw you over by giving you one rare card with four shitty cards. There's a reason everybody hates that rule.

"Elémentales" - Symbols related to a magical element are placed on the board. Some cards have a similar symbol (for example, on the Shiva card above, you can see an "ice" symbol). If the symbol matches, the card gets a +1 bonus to every value. If it doesn't, the card gets a -1 penalty. Keep in mind that this does NOT affect the "Identique" and "Plus" rules.

"Mort Subite" ("Sudden Death") - If the game ends in a draw, it is restarted until a winner is decided. Not that when the game is restarted, each uses the card that were turned to their colour rather than their original hand.

Trade rules:

"Directe" - The winner takes every card that is turned to their colour at the end of the game.

"Totale" ("All") - Winner takes all.


The most obvious way you can get new cards is by winning Triple Triad games, but enemies also sometimes drop them (with some bosses always dropping their card), an ability Golgotha can learn allows you to turn a weakened opponent into a card and some scripted events can get you some as well.

While cards are mostly a fun distraction, they can also serve a great purpose gameplay-wise as Golgotha can also learn an ability that allows you to turn cards into objects. Some of them are very, very good and it is a convenient way to collect the ingredients for weapons, especially high-tier ones.

And I think that's pretty much it. If I've forgotten anything, I'll specify it in later parts but in the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this little side-note as much as I enjoy playing Triple Triad and stick around as I'll be posting part 7 very soon.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Part 7: Are you a bad enough dude to kidnap the president?

As soon as leave the train, we meet the resistance contact and I give the password. He tells me to follow him but before we do that, there's already something interesting as if you interact with the souvenirs shop (on the upper right in the above screenshot), you get to check multiple things. They're really not that important and you can't actually buy anything, but there's something that still makes me giggle because deep down, I'm the same mental age as I was when I first played this game: you can ask to buy naughty books (they are magazines in the English version). You can't actually buy any either as the store owner says that you're too young to be allowed to buy them, which is pretty sad considering we're apparently old enough to become professional soldiers and risk our lives on the battlefield, so I guess porn is considered more harmful than violence. How sad is it that this is one of the most realistic aspects of the game?

The translators apparently had some fun here too because in the English version, one magazine (that you can actually collect as an item) is mentioned by name and called "Girl Next Door" and the flavour text simply states that it's a naughty magazine but in the French version, they decided for some reason to change it to "Comtesse Cochonou", which roughly translates to "Countess Piggy" (note that in French, something being "cochon" or "pig" means it's naughty), and the description says that it's an "erotico-historical novel". I have no idea why the French translators decided to add so much to a silly joke item but I applaud them for it.

The vendor also informs us that a guy named Zone is a good client, which is a clue to a minor side quest. That's weird, I would have imagined a dude named Zone to be into animated porn rather than magazines.

The contact leads us a platform where we take another train, this one housing the resistance group. Fun fact: if you give him an incorrect password, he will run off and get hit by the train and once it leaves, Watts will be left behind to run after it. By the way, I screwed up last time; they're called the Forest Owls, not Timber Owls. Aaaand it turns out that Zone guy is their leader. He and Squall introduce their respective groups an as usual, when offered a handshake, Squall ignores it... but then again, I can't blame Squall for not wanting to touch Zone's hands. Selphie on the other hand (no pun intended), is adorably naive and accepts one, and when Zell goes for one, he's the one getting ignored by Zone.

Turns out the contact is named Watts and Zone also wants to introduce us to their group's "princess"... and Watts says that she's taking a nap. Zone asks Squall to go wake her up. Yyyyeeeaaah, to call that group ragtag doesn't even begin to cover it; it's a wonder that the BGU ever took them seriously enough to send them support, even if it's just three green kids. When asked to go wake up a sleeping princess, Squall breaks the fourth wall again by saying "This is a video game, not a fairy tale, mister Owl!". Thaaaat's our Squall! Despite his protests though, you've got to do it. I must once again point out the awesome soundtrack. This one is definitely more on the zany side but it's still awesome, the kind of stuff I could listen to on a loop for hours while I do something else. We get to the Princess' very pink room and we find out she is...



*GLOMP*


... the girl from the ball! And she's REALLY happy to learn that the SeeD is going to help her group. Apparently, she is familiar with Seifer as she explains that he's the one who introduced her to Cid. She also gives us her name, which is Linoa. Yes, Linoa. Yeah, the French version went for the other option for the R/L thing when translating Japanese stuff. This seems to confirm that the French translation is based off the original Japanese script, unlike the French version of FF7, which was a bad translation of the already infamously bad English translation of the game. Once again, I must side with the French translation here. "Rinoa" just doesn't sound right to me. I think it's because a name that sounds so close to "rhino" isn't very feminine. Also, with a Japanese accent, you'd pronounce it "Linoa" anyway so you might as well spell it the way it was intended to be pronounced.

Oh! Oh! And check this out:




Squall actually accepts her handshake! Much like at the ball, Squall is unconsciously being nicer and letting his guard down when interacting with Linoa. Again, the little details say so much in such a subtle way and this game is full of those. I love it!

Linoa teases him by saying SeeD members are excellent dancers. Squall claims that it's all part of training: approach the target without their knowledge and finish them on the dancefloor. Yeah, you're not fooling anyone, Squall. Of course, the mood HAS to be ruined by some bitch interrupting the conversation. Literally, because Linoa's dog walks in, and it's a female. More naming shenanigans can be noted as in the English version, it's called Angelo but in the French version, it's Angel. I'm a bit confused as to why the English version added a O as it implies masculinity when, again, it's a bitch, not a hound. Seems "Angela" would make more sense. Oh well.

Much like Linoa herself, Angel isn't here just to be cute as it is actually helpful in battle, mostly as part of Linoa's Limit Break. Speaking of the Limit Break, remember that pet-themed magazine? This is what it's for as reading them unlocks new attacks. Note that you can't use them right away though as you have to learn them. To do so, you've got to go in Linoa's status menu and select a move to learn and then you will slowly fill up a bar by simply walking and when it fills up, the move is learned. You will even hear a little music clue when it happens.

Something to keep in mind is that the move used in Linoa's Limit Break is random, so it's actually a good idea to intentional avoid learning some of the moves so that the better ones are more likely to come out, especially because some of them are incredibly good to the point of almost being broken. In fact, the one you can learn from the magazine Zell gives you is one I skip as it only damages one enemy and it's not very powerful.

Finally, Angel can also learn abilities that work outside of Limit Breaks, such as one that has it search the ground for some items, which is very useful as it can sometimes find rare and very good stuff, one where it randomly heals a character which is actually not so good as in this game, you really want to be able to decide when you want to heal characters so you can use Limit Breaks at your leisure, one where she randomly attacks after Linoa is hit with a physical attack; not very powerful but still good and a nice call back to FF6 (with which FF8 has surprisingly a lot in common, come to think of it) and finally, one where it revives a character who was just KO'd, which has saved my hide on sooooo many occasions. So yeah, that's a good bitch. Ha ha, that joke sure is gonna get old fast.

While I'm at it, I'd like to take a moment to talk about Linoa. Specifically, the way she is perceived as she is getting both a lot of love and a lot of hate. In the US especially, a lot of people tend to find her annoying and accuse her of being a damsel in distress. In Japan though, she is massively popular and has in fact become something of a feminist icon as she doesn't take crap from the men and does not hesitate to speak her mind, completely at odds with the traditional gender expectations of the "good woman" who obeys the men around her no matter what.

Me, I really like her. I don't have any problem with her attitude and I honestly don't see her as a damsel in distress. Sure, she can act a little bit spoiled but I don't think it ever gets annoying. If anything I think it makes her quirky. And yeah, she does get rescued a couple times, but it's not due to incompetence, it's not all she does and she can hold her own in battle (and considering other characters, including males, also need to be rescued at times, it's not like she's the only one who end sup in this kind of situation). Plus I like someone who doesn't just say that things need to change but actually takes risks to make it happen.

And the main reason why I like her is because she completes Squall. They are the ultimate "battle couple". You see, Squall is a very talented warrior but he isn't exactly a diplomat. Meanwhile, Linoa is very social and skilled at convincing people to side with her (as evidenced by her convincing Cid to send them a few SeeDs when the BGU normally wouldn't do that for such a small operation, and by her getting Squall to forget himself) but she is not as skilled a fighter (at least at first) and she lacks the discipline her ambitions require.

Another thing I noticed is that they both represent different aspects of teenage misconceptions, with Squall representing teen angst, thinking that being overly harsh and cold makes him more mature and that happiness is a delusion or that having fun is childish, while Linoa represents teenagers' genuine but delusional passion, thinking that just because they think something is the right thing to do means it is without really thinking it through or taking the necessary precautions to make it work.

Alright, let's close that interlude and get back to the game. After Squall introduces Linoa to the rest of the gang, everyone goes to the briefing room. The mission's objective: kidnap Vinzer Deling, the "president" of Galbadia, in the sense that people get to vote between him and being executed, while he's on a VIP train. Oh is that all? In order to carry out this mission, Selphie suggests blowing the train up with a rocket launcher, because she is half-woman, half cocaine. The Owls think that's a bit much and would rather keep the president in one piece as it's difficult to get a mangled corpse to listen to your demands, so they offer a more subtle approach. I won't bore you with the details, but basically, they want to detach the VIP car Deling is in from the rest of his train and then reattach it to their own train. Crazy? Probably. Efficient? Certainly! This briefing also serves as training for a gameplay mechanic that will be used when detaching the cars.

After that, Linoa wants to make the teams, prompting Watts to volunteer for communication (but most importantly, for not jumping on speeding trains) and Zone gets stomach cramps. Yeah, some rebel groups are more glamorous than others. So without surprise Squall, Selphie and Zell are on their own, although Linoa will assist them. Good thing there's at least ONE rebel who can be arsed to actually do something. Oh and before you go on the mission, make sure to challenge Watts if you collect cards as he has the Angel card.

You only have 5 minutes to pull off the kidnapping so don't lollygag! Linoa mentions that the soldiers in the train have sensors and says that blue soldiers will spot you if you move and the red ones will spot you if you don't but as far as I can tell, this has no actual effect on the gameplay, which makes me wonder if it's referring to stuff that's been dummied out. You have to enter codes in a row to detach the wagons. Linoa is the one giving you the codes and if you enter them wrong, they will be changed. For that reason, be extra careful when entering the codes and make sure to wait until the sound cue to make sure you don't enter a number too fast. On top of that, soldiers will be patrolling and if they catch you, the mission fails. Thankfully, Zell and Selphie will warn you in advance.




The first car only requires three codes so it shouldn't be too hard as long as you enter the codes right. The second one is more difficult as not only does it require five codes but Zell and Selphie are busy detaching the car from the other side and cannot help (though you can check where they are by pressing R1; but you won't be able to enter the codes at the same time). If you don't make mistakes with the codes, you should be able to enter three before needing to get back up. Get back down when the soldiers are out of sight and enter the remaining two codes. Should you get caught, you WILL be allowed to retry, but if you do it on the first try, you will be awarded an extra SeeD rank. If you use too many retries, you will lose one. Of course, you could always reset the game and redo the mission from the beginning so you get the rank even if it's not really on the first try.

We're back inside the Owls' train and I would advise you to save. If you want, you can also go back to Linoa's room and pick up "L'ami des bêtes vol.2" though it gets you another skill I skip, the random healing one. When you're ready, talk to Linoa to begin the "negotiations" with dear old Dictator Deling. There's only one problem... it's not the real Deling! It's a fake and he attacks!



"yoU waNtEd tO GiVe mE a SpaNking?!!"


So yeah. There's a boss battle against a president's double and he acts marginally stranger than an actual politician as he lunges at the characters to bite them. Of course, it's still a middle-aged out of shape guy so obviously he's not much of a threat and easily goes down after a few rounds of physical attacks. Well that was weird. Sure glad that's ov-...





...


WHAT THE F***.


...



WHAT THE ACTUAL F***.

That's right! He turned into a zombie! President Zombie! Someone call Leon Kennedy. This guy is "Ecorché" ("GeroGero"). His French name is probably a reference to the term used for anatomic models in schools as the organs are visible on those, but I do wonder if it isn't a reference to Hellraiser as the second movie is subtitled "Les Ecorchés" in French and this guy does look rather Cenobite-like. Oh and here's another fun fact: in the Japanese version, the blue parts of its body are actually red. It was changed to look less gruesome but I argue it makes it look even worse because now it just looks rotten. Anyway, it's undead so toss an MT-Psy on its ass and it'll die instantly. Yes, really. Good news: Shiva learned an ability that allows the user to junction magic to defence and Ondine learned one that shows hidden save and draw points.

Right, it's past 2 AM here and I'm way too sleep deprived for anything past President Zombie so I'll see you next time for part 8 where I'm almost certain that there won't be any zombie presidents.

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Part 8: As seen on TV

After that zombie-based debacle, we're back in the Owls' train and Watts brings up some news: the reason Deling is going to Timber is to broadcast a televised message. Selphie theorizes that it may have something to do with the radio tower incident in Dollet. Zone explains that with the Dollet tower, Deling would be able to broadcast his message World-wide. It's a pretty huge deal as radio transmissions have been abandoned 17 years earlier (hence why the tower was abandoned, presumably). Linoa thinks it would be neat if the first transmission in 17 years could be the declaration of independence of Timber and the rest of the Owls like that idea. Well either way, it'll have to happen without us because wev'e already fulfilled our part of the contract.


Right?


Wrong! Squall asks to see the contract the Forest Owls have with the BGU and lo and behold, it says that' Squall's team are to assist the Owls "until Timber is independent"... so I hope Squall, Zell and Selphie enjoy their company because it looks like they'll be staying together for a while. Linoa is now a playable character and the group splits into two teams. This serves as an introduction to the team creation system since as you must have noticed by now, you can only have up to three characters at the same time. So from this screen, you can switch team members, although Squall cannot be removed. Not that you'd really want to considering he's the strongest character. What's really good about that screen is that you can also switch "powers", which basically means that you cut and paste junctions from one character to another, that way you don't have to do the whole thing manually every time you switch characters. Very, very useful. You can switch powers at any time but switching partners can only happen on the overworld and even then not always.




Right now, Linoa cannot be removed either so it's basically just choosing between Zell and Selphie as the third character. I'm going with Selphie as her Limit Break is far better. For the record, my favourite team is Squall/Linoa/Quistis as they have in my opinion the best Limit Breaks. Back in Timber, Watts gives us some pointers and is promptly left behind when the Owls' train leaves and he has to run after them. Oh Watts, you are such a butt monkey.

Now that I have a bit of time to talk about G-Force abilities, I'd like to mention an ability that Shiva learned a little while back but I haven't used yet, which allows to turn some items into spells. Similar abilities exist for pretty much every type of spell. I used this togive my characters the spell "GlacierX", which is the strongest version of the ice spell. This is also a great example of how useful the junction system can be as junctionning GlacierX to HP, made Linoa's max health go from 653 to 1003! And that's with only 25 of them. So yeah, it's worth keeping an eye on your junctions and crafting spells from objects. Crafting is also a much faster way to fill up your spells than drawing.

In town, you will occasionally have to fight Galbadian soldiers but who cares about that?! Let's visit the town! You can check the pet shop by going up if you want. There you can buy various items for the Guardian Forces as well as two issues of "L'ami des bêtes"; I highly recommend buying those as they allow you to learn two very useful abilities, one which has Angel resuscitate a character who's just been KO'd and one that turns the whole team invincible! As you can imagine, those are insanely good to have.

The TV station is to the right of the platform we arrived and since it's where we're supposed to go, let's not go there. Going down, you'll activate a short cutscene explaining that trains aren't running at the moment (presumably due to the whole "attempte kidnapping of the president" thing). This is basically to tell you that later on, you'll be able to use trains to go from location to loction, although frankly I don't find it to be the most efficient method of going around (most of the time, going by foot is just fine, especially since it allows you to find secrets and side-quests).

Going further, you'll find a weapons shop and a hotel, although you can't use the hotel right now due to the Galbadian patrols (don't worry, you'll still get to replenish your health in other ways). Going further still, you'll find two city guards being harassed by Galbadian soldiers. If you interact with them, the soldiers will threaten to kill the guards, but of course your team is here to save the day! You can't leave town for now so let's go back to the train station and go right.

You'll end up on a plaza with the Timber Maniacs building and a civilian house you can enter. I advise you to check out the Timber Maniacs building as there is some good stuff in there such as a hidden GlacierX draw point, an issue of Timber Maniacs and the "Comtesse Cochonou" novel I told you about. There isn't much to see for now in the house but you always give it a look. The only thing really worth mentionning is that there's a teenage girl who comments that her parents love each-other despite the fact that they're always fighting. In the English version, she then says that she can't wait to find a great guy to scream at and exchange blows with and Selphie then makes the inane comment that "maybe she likes screaming and punching". In the French version, not only does the girl only mention yelling at one-another rather than getting inexplicably excited about straight-up domestic violence, but Selphie makes a lot more sense as she says that that girl ain't right in the head. If you go right, you'll find a path with two ways. One goes down a flight a steps and the other leads to another station. I'm going there.

Going right, you'll find a path with a slight of stairs going down that I'm going to ignore for now as this is where we need to go but there's still a little bit of stuff I want to show. Instead, go right and you'll find another station.




If you enter the house you can see on that screenshot, you'll be able to drink some Owl Tears, which refill your health and cure status ailments. You can also steal the people who live there's money, which will make them mad at you but won't otherwise make them do anything to you. Hey, it's still more than in most JRPGs. After several random encounters, Ondine learned an out-of-battle ability that allows me to create useful items from other items. Yay!

There's nothing else to see in this area so I'm going to go back and go down the stairs, which lead to a shop and a pub that two Galbadian soldiers apparently just robbed and they attack you on sight. After defeating them, you'll be awarded a playing card. There's also a Soin (Cura) draw point. Get in the pub and you'll find a drunk guy in the way. I always get a chuckle out of the drunk referring to Squall as a "fur-wearing playboy" especially since in French, the term "playboy" tends to refer to a handsome young man, so I like to think this guy is coming onto Squall. Tell him about the card you found and he'll tell you to keep it and will even give you one more. He will then ask the pub's owner to help him move out of the way and you can now access the passage to the TV station. If you leave and come back, the owner can challenge you to a game of Triple Triad. He doesn't have any special card for now but he will have the Doomtrain card at the end of the Ishtar side-quest.




In the passage is a draw point for some Scan. We eventually come across a screen displaying nothing but gibberish¹. Linoa asks what it is and Squall explains that it is an interference which affects pretty much all radio transmission, which is why radio signals have been abandoned. I find it very strange that Linoa is the one being surprised by it and Squall having to explain. Linoa is the one who lives here, wouldn't it make more sense for her to know it and Squall to be the one surprised by it?

Anyway, Watts arrives and says that Deling is inside the studio but there are too many guards for an attack to be a viable option. Linoa then suggests sending their own message one Deling and his guards are gone even though it will probably give it less impact. She asks Selphie and Squall if they think it'll work and they reply that it's her call and that whatever she does, they'll back her up. I like how Squall even says that he'll do it because he gave her his word. See, this right there is one of the main reasons I like Squall so much: his strong sense of responsibilities. When he makes a commitment, he goes through with it and sticks to his word. Compare that to Seifer's puerile nature and his desire for glory without having to take responsibility for anything he does.

Linoa starts stressing out though:

Linoa: What if I'm wrong? What if my plan is bad? You guys have it easy, you simply follow orders!

Squall: You're the one who has it easy. You start something without knowing where you're going or how you're going to get there! I think it's better to take no initiative than a bad initiative.

Linoa: What?! You're accusing me of messing things up?

[at this point you get a choice between "exactly" and "forget it". I'm going with "exactly" although that option is a very inaccurate clue as to what's about to be said.]

Squall: No, your cause is serious. You're the ones who aren't. You sway around like 3 idiots coming up with poorly thought-out plans. And you can't do anything if someone isn't holding your hand. Do you think we enjoy working with amateurs?

Selphie: You're being a bit harsh, Squall. [That's not a cool thing to say / Let's forget about all that. I'm going with the first option]

Squall: I apologize, Linoa. I got a bit carried away...

Linoa: No, you're right. I was the one in the wrong. When the SeeD arrived, I thought everything would work out. But it's not that easy... we are "amateurs" and you are mercenaries... I say we cancel the mission, and we split up for now... we have no chance if we go for a full frontal attack, right? I wanted to ask you... do you think we're just playing war? We are serious, though... It's very important, you know? So important it hurts.

Maybe it's weird but I really like this exchange because while Squall is harsh... he really does have a point. Again, it highlights the fact that while Linoa's motivation is genuine, she lacks the focus to carry out her actions and tends to just kind of assume that things will turn out just fine without really thinking things through. And to be fair to her, eventually she does realize that and takes the best decision rather than insisting to charge ahead with little to no preparation.

It also further sows that while Squall is rough, he isn't a dick (well, okay, maybe a little), he's fair and he too can admit when he's being wrong. Now that's not to say he couldn't be more tactful but then again, he's only just started his journey of self-improvement. Finally, even though they argued here, it does show some strong respect between the two as they wouldn't be so honest towards one-another if they didn't care and sometimes, this kind of things need to be said.

Linoa leaves and Zell joins the group just as the transmission begins. First is a presenter who is very excited about being live for the first time in 17 years (a bit of dialogue explains that shows have been online in the intervening years). He then introduces Winzer Deling (the real one this time, not a zombie). He claims to be working towards peace, which is probably why he invaded all those countries and had opponents either executed or sent to jail. He then declares that he wishes to introduce his ambassador, who is a sorceress. And then, this happens:



Yep. Seifer, in his infinite wisdom, has decided to launch a one-man attack on Deling. You know, say what you will about Linoa's plan but at least she realized it would have been a bad idea (also she didn't actually decide to do something as stupid as attack live on camera with a bunch of armed guards around). Thankfully, Quistis is here to defuse the situation. Squall tells the others not to interfere as their mission only consists of helping the Forest Owls, but Quistis calls them for help via the transmission, telling them that their orders have changed. Zell has now replaced Linoa in the party so don't forget to switch powers before going to the studios.

Seifer has his gunblade to Deling’s throat. Quistis managed to have the guards leave the area to make sure they don’t make Seifer execute him. Squall basically goes “What the Hell, dude?” and eventually puts it together that he’s trying to impress Linoa. After Quistis explains that Seifer wounded several people while escaping the disciplinary area, Zell gets mad and accidentally spills the beans that they are from the BGU, realizing his mistake too late.

Deling threatens to have the BGU annihilated should anything happen to him and Seifer leaves, taking Deling with him. But then, a rather intimidating person makes her appearance.



My poor little boy.


Quistis tries to interfere but is immediately stopped by a spell from the strange woman. She taunts Seifer, saying that he is hesitant, between his childish side wanting to know more and his adult side wanting to escape the obvious threat. Saying he is paralyse by his inability to make a choice. She offers to help him start anew, all the while talking to him as if to a child, which angers Seifer.

Seifer: I'm not a child any more!

Woman: You WANT to stop being a child

Seifer: I am a man!²

Woman: Leave the paradise of childhood and discover the hell of adulthood!

Squall's team arrives but they can't do anything as the woman disappears with Seifer. If it wasn't clear enough, I think this scene really shows the difference of personality between Squall and Seifer. Whereas Squall matures and act like an adult by accepting responsibility for his actions and thinking carefully before acting, Seifer keeps acting on instinct without ever thinking about the consequences of his actions. He wants to be treated like an adult yet he keeps refusing to act the part. He wants to be rewarded, but not to actually work for it. And somehow I am having a hard time believing he will be anything but a pawn for this woman.

The woman's magic dissipates, allowing Quistis to move again. Linoa arrives, worried about Seifer and hoping that nothing bad happens to him. After the gang leaves the studio, Linoa tells them that the Owls' base has been destroyed by Galadian forces but thankfully the members managed to escape. Obviously, the group won't be able to stay in Timber and need to find a way out of town. Linoa reminds Squall of his word as she asks him to take her out of there, basically making it an official mission for him to find a way out and, while not thrilled about it, he accepts.

Fortunately, the woman living in the house I mentioned earlier (the one with the daughter who ain't right in the head) tells Linoa that they can stay at her home. Once there, Linoa explains that the woman is the leader of the Forest Foxes, another resistance group who occasionally work with the Owls. According to Linoa, almost everyone in Timber is part of a resistance group but the Owls are the only truly active one. Selphie still doesn't get why Seifer did that and Linoa confirms that yeah, it was probably because she told him about the Owls' goal back when she first met him. She also tells the group not to judge him too harshly. Nah, sorry Linoa but he's an idiot. AND he just caused a major diplomatic incident which could result in hundreds of deaths. Seriously, what does she see in the manchild?

A Galbadian soldier comes knocking and everyone goes to hide upstairs. Quistis confirms that Seifer threw a bitch fit upon learning that only 3 novice SeeDs had been sent to help Linoa's group (hey Seifer, guess what? at least THEY are SeeDs). She wonders what could have happened to Seifer when the woman took him and Squall says that he may be already dead. Linoa tells him to not be so cold and that she pities Seifer. Interestingly, Squall thinks to himself that Seifer would be furious to hear that, which... yeah, is probably true. Selphie asks Squall if he's serious and he answers that if he was dumb enough to attack a sorceress, it's unlikely that she let him get away with it. Linoa says that she still hopes he survived, and Squall replies that deluding yourself is the best way to be disappointed.

This I think pretty much sums up Squall, at least early in the story. He is so afraid that something could go wrong that he'd rather expect the worst to begin with and considers optimism to be self-deceit. With that said, in this case he's not wrong, and I like the fact that in this dialogue, he's putting it respectfully, although Linoa still thinks he's being cruel. I also like that the fact that she thinks so does seem to affect him as it shows that he doesn't want to be an asshole to other people.

The leaders of the Forest Foxes arrives and tells the group that now would be a good time to skip town. Squall asks Quistis if she has a suggestion on what to do next and she reminds him of BGU policy: if returning is not an option, go to the nearest university. That would be Galbadia University. The group is split again and I'm taking Linoa and Quistis with me. When you leave the house, you will see a Galbadian soldier arrive. Your first instinct is probably to run the opposite way but actually, go talk to him.




It's Watts! He came here undercover to tell us that there is one last train headed for the East Academy station before the Galbadian government has that railway closed as well. Going to the station, we meet Zone, undercover as well, who tells us he managed to get that last few tickets available, but only enough for our team, meaning he and the Owls will have to stay in Timber, at risk of being caught. Linoa gives him a warm goodbye and tells him that they'll meet again to celebrate Timber's independence.

Everyone gets aboard the train and Squall tries to keep the team's spirits up by saying "We can do this!"... unfortunately it's somewhat diminished by Selphie enthusiastically asking him to use the tickets to open the door to the cars. It's the thought that counts, Squall. He does do it though, thinking that hey, if it makes her happy. Aw, looks like Squall really is starting to warm up to his companions. Zell isn't looking too good though. It's pretty clear he is blaming himself for any potential retaliation against the BGU.

Squall looks relieved that they managed to make it out of Timber and Quistis says that they have Zone to thank, to which Linoa replies that he likes dirty magazines (so the shop owner wasn't just saying that). This apparently gives Quistis an idea of what gift to get him. Ah, truly nothing is more heart-warming than the gift of pornography. What's a bit weird is that in order to advance the story, you have to go the corridor (where Selphie is) then come back. Not sure why the developers did it that way.

You can then talk to Zell, who says he is unforgivable and you have a choice between leaving him alone and staying here. Staying just means you get to keep talking to the other team members and leaving him alone cuts to the train arriving. We are now on the overworld and I'll end this part here. Next time we will NOT head towards Galbadia University. DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN!! You see, this is a great opportunity to go on some side quests and this is what Part 9 will be dedicated to!





¹ Or is it? Look carefully.

² *punch*

[SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman]

Part 9: Faffing around

Haaa! I’ve been waiting for this! Finally a part where I get to just faff around with side-quests. Seriously though, aren’t those the best part of any RPG, be it Japanese or Western? Hopefully this will also be a good opportunity to get items we need to upgrade weapons.

First up, we are actually close to Dollet so let's see how it's been doing since the mission. Right away, Ifrit learns a skill that allows me to create Fire spells from items. When you get to Dollet by foot you enter through a gate. There's a Rent-a-Car there and by now you should know what I think of that. Moving on, we arrive to this place with a guy in a wheelchair and his sister:




They're not particularly important but they're a bit weird as the sister claims that the brother is a swimming champion, which... I'm having difficulties believing for some reason, and the brother casually name-drops Corto Maltese. Gotta say, wasn't expecting semi-obscure Italian comic book references in a Japanese video game that has f***-all to do with it. I'm going to assume it's the translator having fun (as Corto Maltese IS fairly famous in France). Going further, we arrive at the beach where we landed during the mission. It's empty in my playthrough but if you don't destroy Goliath yourself, its remains will be on the beach. There is also a sad-looking girl asking where her mommy is... well that's just depressing.

Next screen, you'll see a little boy enter a house. Follow him and you'll see a scene inside an art gallery where his grandfather is getting angry because the boy added a little bone on his near-finished painting, which is something he apparently frequently does. The grandpa then leaves to go to the beach. Once you get out, Squall will note that a dog who was there just before is now gone. Going further still, there's a bar you can enter. Not much of interest on the ground floor, except for a fairly amusing female NPC who tries to hit on Squall, asking what he thinks of her. You have two choices: telling her that she's very attractive or asking her if she really is a woman.

If you tell her she's attractive, she'll say that only perverts seem to like her. If you ask if she really is a woman, she'll get offended... and then thinks to herself that Squall must have a sixth sense, implying that yeah, it's a dude in drags. In fact, it's even explicitly stated in the English version.

Going up, you will find more interesting stuff. there are two NPCs, the one in the foreground being the pub owner and possesses the Ondine card. Beating him at Triple Triad will allow you to enter hi secret room where you can get some good stuff. Due to the mixing of rules, I'll be challenging him in a game using the following rules: Open, Identical, Elemental and... Random, F***!! Don't worry if you lose good cards to him, there's a save point in the room so you can just reset the game and try again if it goes too bad.




If you talk to him while in his secret room, he'll give you 5 Bogomile cards, 4 Nocturnus cards, 3 Schizoïd cards, 2 Arconada cards, 1 Pampa (Cactuar) card. By repchecking the pile of magazines in the centre, you can also find some useful items like antidotes, potyions and MT-Psys and Occult Fan II. Finding Occult Fan II can take a while and if you keep getting a "nothing interesting here" message, simply exit then come back and you'll find more items and get another chance to find the magazine. You might have to do this several times.

Leaving the bar and going further is a shop called Nautilus which serves as both an items shop and a weapons shop. Next is the town centre, which is were we SHOULD have stayed during the mission until Seifer went and f'ed it all up. With the Clairvoyance ability, you can find a draw point for some Aphasie (Mute). Oh and the dog is here! If you interact with it, you can get a free potion. There is also a hotel you can check. If you take a room, you'll find an issue of Timber Maniacs there. If you try going back to the radio tower, a guard will stop you and inform you that only Galbadian soldiers are allowed there. Trying again however will make him have a convenient cramp, allowing you to get there. If you decide to do so, you will find Galbadian soldiers as random encounters.

Since Quistis' Limit Break activated, I'm gonna explain it and it's very simple: you've got a list of moves, just pick one. Simple as that. You do get some with different effects so depending on the enemy, you might to pick different skills. As I mentioned earlier, Quistis learns new techniques by using specific items, mostly ones dropped by enemies.

One you make it back to the part with the stairs, you will find a Galbadian soldier who tells you to go away. If you reply aggressively, he will send a replica of Goliath after you!! But it will fall of the nearby cliff and crash. And then the soldier will send another one!! And it will land on its back and be useless. It will however block the way to the tower so no, no matter how hard you try, you can't go back there.



After a random encounter, Golgotha learned Card. I mentioned it in passing before and it's very useful. This ability can be used in battle and will turn an enemy into a card, defeating them instantly, but without granting you any experience. They usually tuen into their own card obviously but some have a small chance of turning into a boss card. Technically the ability can work at any time but the lower the enemy's health, the better the success chance. But the main thing is that now that Golgotha learned this skill, it can learn an ability that allows you to turn cards into items, some of which are extremely useful. That alone justifies spending some time playing triple Triad in my opinion.

Only one thing left to do, it's to go back to the town centre and go through the only path we haven't checked yet... which just sends us back to the entrance gate. So I've done pretty much everything I wanted to do here. Although... I kind of want to check on that painter guy. I don't actually find him at the beach so I go back to his gallery/workshop, where a different painting now has a bone on it. Like the first one, it's showing a part of town where I'll be able to find the dog. This time, the dog has an MT-Psy I can take. Doing that again nets me a Défijuer ("Soft", to cure the Stone status effect), marking the end of that little side-quest.

Nothing more to do around here so let's leave. Shiva learned Defense + 20%. As the name implies, this is a passive skill which, when activated, raises the defense stat by 20%. Ondine also learned an ability that allows me to craft healing spells from items. Another thing I forgot to mention before (not that I really had the opportunity) is that on the Overworld, you should often try to interact with stuff as it is full of hidden draw points (even with Clairvoyance).

Anyway, I am now going to go to the forests around Timber, for two reasons: 1. There is an enemy there called Wendigo which drops an item which is necessary upgrade Squall's gunblade and I already have the other one, so that will obviously be very helpful and 2. there is another side quest we can start at Obel Lake, which is next to Timber. During a random encounter, I defeated a Gallus (Cockatrice), which dropped an Etoile (Coral Fragment in the English version), an item that teaches Quistis Firmament (Electrocute). Oh! Oh! And there's something I HAVE to show you: Linoa's basic attack for her Limit Break.



Bitches love cannons.


That's right! She's carrying her dog with her spindly little forearm and then throwing her like a cannonball, causing a massive explosion on all enemies! That is the kind of insane bullshit I can get behind. Ifrit learns an ability that gives the user + 20% to Strength, Ondine learns one that allows to create healing items from other items. I finally find a Wendigo and if you meet one, be careful as while they don't have much health, they are very fast and have some powerful attacks. Best to have someone on healing duty even if you want to use your Limit Breaks. Caving in and using G-Forces could also be worth it. I get the item? called Samâdhi ("Steel pipe" in English, and the French name seems kind of random since as far as I'm aware, Samâdhi is something related to yoga and Hindu philosophy in general).

By the way, you can actually go back to Timber, so if you're doing like me at trying to collect that item, you don't have to go all the way back to Dollet to upgrade your weapon. Plus you can now use the hotel so you can heal too (and they also have a Timber Maniacs issue). And now, the Obel Lake side quest!




It's very close to Timber, behind a forest. Go there and press X and you'll get a choice between skipping rocks and humming a tune. Try humming a tune and a shadow will appear! Keep humming and it'll say it likes your song. Press X again and the shadow will ask a favour: finding where its friend Ryo L'idiot has gone to (the English name is "Mr. Monkey"). If you keep talking to the shadow, it'll give you hints as to where Ryo might be. I'll just tell you: he's in a forest near Dollet, so off we go again!

Ifrit learns an ability that allows me to craft bullets from items. You will soon learn why that's useful. Golgotha learns Mode Carte. I highly recommend using that capacity as much as possible as it can get you some really good stuff, including items necessary to upgrade weapons, items for Quistis to learn new Limit Break attacks and even crazy shit like items that make a character or your entire team invincible for several turns. So yeah, really good ability and one that gives your lower level cards a legitimate use (it's also useful if you're stick with the Random rule and want to get rid of your weaker cards).




Here's the forest where Ryo is. Look around it and you will eventually get a prompt telling you that you find him. you can chose to either throw a rock at him or sing. It doesn't matter which you choose. What you need to do now is go back to Obel lake and tell the shadow that you found Ryo. From now on, the shadow will give you hints to locations to visit for draw points and other interesting stuff, but we can't visit them yet. However, there is still one more thing we can do.

Now, pick the stone skipping option until you get a message saying it bounced many times with six dots before it. Go back to the forest with Ryo, find Ryo again, throw a rock at him twice and then he'll send a rock at you engraved with four letters. This will come in handy later but for now, that's all we can do in the Obel Lake quest so it's time to finally go to that forest we have to cross to get to Galbadia Garden. While on my way there, Golgotha learned an ability allowing me to craft lightning spells using items.

Well, I'm about to enter the forest so I guess it's time to call it a wrap a for me to-... actually, I never did check that item Cid gave me before going to Timber, did I? Hm... the description says "save before use!" but I'm sure it's just being overly drama-




WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, CID?!!

So... after selling us as slaves to the Timber Owls, Cid decided to trick us into becoming human sacrifices to the devil... this is Nosferatu (Diablos in English) and yeah, he's pretty tough. However, there is a simple technique to beating him. Draw and cast Quartz (Demi). There's also some bizarre mechanic where he will cast Soin Max (Curaga) on a character who casts Quartz from their spell stock rather than draw-casting. I guess that's supposed to imply he's testing you and rewarding you for your abilities? It should be noted that while Quartz always causes damage equal to 25% of the victim's health left if cast from the spell stock, the percentage varies if draw-cast.

It has a spell called Gravija which reduces the entire team to 1/4 of it's remaining HP. It's a fairly tough battle but it's worth it as after defeating it, you get to keep him as a G-Force and not only is he very powerful but he can learn many incredibly good abilities. Phew, well that certainly happened. Well, now that I've done everything I wanted to do before going to Galbadia Garden, I'll be seeing for part 10.