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Post by Citizen Snips on Dec 7, 2016 9:18:45 GMT -5
The Mallrats sequel went from a being movie to a ten-episode miniseries, but even that has gone from "It's definitely happening, you guys!" to "We're currently pitching it to Netflix, Amazon, Showtime, and Hulu." Clerks 3 was supposed to be shot before Mallbrats, and then got pushed back until afterwards. I'm not holding my breath that it'll ever happen one way or another. His Mallrats debacle made our local papers a year or two ago. There was a huge mall in my county called the Granite Run Mall that had been in walking dead mode for about 5 years; the Sears and Boscov's anchor stores were still functional but the mall itself had probably less than 12 open stores, never more than 30 people in it. They finally sell it and set a demolition date. Smith decides like two weeks after that to go see this mall, declares it perfect and says he wants to shoot there. The developers are like "If you can shoot the movie in a month, knock yourself out. It's coming down on December 15th." Smith tries to plead his case that this is the perfect mall, just keep it standing for him...developers counter that he's allowed to do whatever he wants while the mall's still open but he clearly has nothing in place to shoot a movie and he could have easily shot the movie during the 5 years the mall was collapsing without bothering anyone(I'm in suburban Philly, which still has a number of thriving malls that someone in New Jersey would be aware of, so it's not like this mall was tucked away in South Dakota or somewhere). Smith just says "Aw man..." when the mall is knocked down without him making any progress whatsoever.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 7, 2016 9:23:01 GMT -5
There was a day when "Kevin Smith as a bunch of Nazi goblins with turnip shaped heads or something" was a draw for me. That day has long passed. The Mallrats sequel went from a being movie to a ten-episode miniseries, but even that has gone from "It's definitely happening, you guys!" to "We're currently pitching it to Netflix, Amazon, Showtime, and Hulu." Clerks 3 was supposed to be shot before Mallbrats, and then got pushed back until afterwards. I'm not holding my breath that it'll ever happen one way or another. His Mallrats debacle made our local papers a year or two ago. There was a huge mall in my county called the Granite Run Mall that had been in walking dead mode for about 5 years; the Sears and Boscov's anchor stores were still functional but the mall itself had probably less than 12 open stores, never more than 30 people in it. They finally sell it and set a demolition date. Smith decides like two weeks after that to go see this mall, declares it perfect and says he wants to shoot there. The developers are like "If you can shoot the movie in a month, knock yourself out. It's coming down on December 15th." Smith tries to plead his case that this is the perfect mall, just keep it standing for him...developers counter that he's allowed to do whatever he wants while the mall's still open but he clearly has nothing in place to shoot a movie and he could have easily shot the movie during the 5 years the mall was collapsing without bothering anyone(I'm in suburban Philly, which still has a number of thriving malls that someone in New Jersey would be aware of, so it's not like this mall was tucked away in South Dakota or somewhere). Smith just says "Aw man..." when the mall is knocked down without him making any progress whatsoever. Oh whew. I actually had a feeling the story was going the "they're still keeping the mall open for him, despite local concerns and colossal loss of money that's risking putting the developer out of business." But it went the proper route of them doing what they said they were gonna do and putting that poor place out of its misery.
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Post by Surfer Sandman on Dec 7, 2016 10:45:37 GMT -5
Just f***ing make Clerks 3 already before O'Halloran and Anderson are too old for it. Yoga Hosers should have been Clerks 3. That is, it would have an actual coherent plot line and jokes and with Anderson, O'Halloran and even Mewes supporting, it would actually work. Maybe. Or not. I still want to see it. It couldn't possibly be THAT bad. I didn't realize Kevin had turned to mj. Hasn't he always been a casual stoner?
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Post by Mighty Attack Tribble on Dec 7, 2016 10:59:43 GMT -5
I didn't realize Kevin had turned to mj. Hasn't he always been a casual stoner? Despite making a career out of stoner jokes and playing one, until 2008 he had only smoked weed a handful of times. When working on Zack & Miri he saw how Seth Rogan used weed as a way to "be more creative" and took it up, giving up smoking tobacco in the process.
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Post by Hypnosis on Dec 7, 2016 11:12:10 GMT -5
Just f***ing make Clerks 3 already before O'Halloran and Anderson are too old for it. Dante in 30 years:"I'm supposed to be at a bingo hall today!"
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Post by Muskrat on Dec 7, 2016 11:26:56 GMT -5
I forgot to mention in my original post that the "Ralph Garman impression-palooza" scene may be one of the most cring-inducing, god awful things ever put to film. His friendship with Garman is also seriously hurting his movies. Garman is just not f***ing funny at all. I tried to listen to Hollywood Babble On when I was still hardcore into the SMODCO stuff, and made it about 5 minutes. He's just comedy cancer
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Dec 7, 2016 12:34:41 GMT -5
I loved Clerks 1 and 2, but I don't even really wanna see 3. That story is told.
And Randall in his forties being snarky to customers were go from funny to just kinda sad.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Dec 7, 2016 12:36:35 GMT -5
I will say Garman did do a good Adam West voice, and a couple of other voices were decent too; but man, you talk about shoehorning impressions in just cuz that's something that guy can do. It was just forced and awkward.
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Post by A Platypus Rave on Dec 7, 2016 12:51:22 GMT -5
I loved Clerks 1 and 2, but I don't even really wanna see 3. That story is told. And Randall in his forties being snarky to customers were go from funny to just kinda sad. Yeah, at teh end of Clerks 2 they aren't clerks anymore... they own the Quick Stop.
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Post by Surfer Sandman on Dec 7, 2016 13:37:28 GMT -5
I loved Clerks 1 and 2, but I don't even really wanna see 3. That story is told. And Randall in his forties being snarky to customers were go from funny to just kinda sad. Yeah, at teh end of Clerks 2 they aren't clerks anymore... they own the Quick Stop. I want to see what happens to Elias since they hired him at the end of that movie. I can see them working as Quik Stop MANAGERS that end up doing the most work due to the slackers they hired.
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Post by Feyrhausen on Dec 8, 2016 5:24:28 GMT -5
As long Clerks has tons of heart. The Clerks movies work because they are a personal time capsule for Kevin Smith. The first one was about his 20's. Second one is about his 30's. Third one should be about his 40's. I remember him proposing a mini series and that probably would not work. The Mallrats sequel went from a being movie to a ten-episode miniseries, but even that has gone from "It's definitely happening, you guys!" to "We're currently pitching it to Netflix, Amazon, Showtime, and Hulu." Clerks 3 was supposed to be shot before Mallbrats, and then got pushed back until afterwards. I'm not holding my breath that it'll ever happen one way or another. It's not like they're playing superheroes. And besides, they're only in their early 40's. Brian O'Halloran is always down for another, but Jeff Anderson makes no secret that he's not an actor and isn't rushing to take up the craft again, particularly as he gets older. Hell, even Trevor Fehrman hasn't acted since Clerks 2. From what Smith has said the Weinsteins screwed them all, claiming Clerks 2 made no money. So they all basically got paid nothing for it. And Anderson won't work with them again until they open the books and pay them what they earned.
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Post by Feyrhausen on Dec 8, 2016 5:26:49 GMT -5
But yeah, on Yoga Hosers. I know Smith has said he does not make movies for the critics, but even people who otherwise liked Tusk have said Johnny Depp ruined it. And then Smith goes and makes a movie full of him. No desire to see it.
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Post by HisRoyalGreeness on Dec 10, 2016 22:51:10 GMT -5
I'm in the process of watching this right now and holy shit is it bad. I'm really not sure which is worse between this and Tusk. Just really f***ing bad. Why would the Depps lend themselves to this?
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 12, 2016 17:25:10 GMT -5
I didn't go into Yoga Hosers with high hopes because I read the plot when it was released...the movie was weird as hell, for sure.
And I actually enjoyed it very much because I was open minded on the whole thing. It was like a stupid weird as hell & that's what made it good.
Plus, there were a couple of knods to Clerks in the film that made me laugh.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Dec 12, 2016 19:39:42 GMT -5
I wouldn't say me being open-minded or not determined my enjoyment; I'd say it being a bad movie did.
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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 12, 2016 22:25:31 GMT -5
I made a night of it and saw the flick premier in Smith's hometown area down in Red Bank, NJ; they did a Q and A session and then played the movie, made for a fun enough night.
Definitely a stupid movie, lots in it that didn't work right, but I have this weird thing where I just respect that he fully acknowledges that it isn't great and is more just something he wanted to do for fun and to do something with his kid. With that in mind, I just couldn't really hate it, just kind of took it for what it was, shortcomings and all.
Still, yeah, I miss the days of hearing about him getting ready to work on Clerks III and Hit Somebody.
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Post by stealthamo on Dec 12, 2016 22:59:55 GMT -5
I saw Yoga Hosers a few months ago in theaters when it was showing at a local second-run/Indie theater. It's definitely not good, but I don't have the vitriol towards it that everyone else does. I think I saw an interview with Smith before seeing the movie saying something to the effect that he wanted to do a movie with his kid and that it was meant more for teenagers than somebody my age (mid 20s). Not being a teenager at the moment, I can't say if teens liked it or not, but after hearing that, I think I went into it with the notion that it wasn't for me, and left thinking it was okay, but definitely the worst of the Smith movies I've seen (haven't seen Tusk, Jersey Girl, or Cop Out).
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Post by Citizen Snips on Dec 24, 2016 9:14:05 GMT -5
I lost a bet with a friend, so I had to watch this one last night. Truly just an awful movie. The girls gave it their best shot but they had absolutely nothing to work with.
It was made even worse by the fact that I saw the sublime Jackie earlier in the day. To go from an intricately directed and masterfully acted portrait to Kevin Smith throwing what makes him giggle when he's high on screen was a gigantic comedown.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2016 18:29:16 GMT -5
I'm in the process of watching this right now and holy shit is it bad. I'm really not sure which is worse between this and Tusk. Just really f***ing bad. Why would the Depps lend themselves to this? Friendship. Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp's daughters go to high school together and are best friends. Because of this, Kevin Smith and Johnny Depp have become friends. Friends in Hollywood like to do stuff together.
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