Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2017 0:58:03 GMT -5
Yeah I wasn't expecting the movie to be good or anything. But I was kind of expecting an over the top unapologetic stupid trashy comedy that tries way to hard to be 21 Jump Street but without the cleverness, charm, or the heart to successfully pull it off but instead over indulges on the meta humour and raunchiness. I was expecting Dwayne Johnson to go all The Rock on Zac Efron like if he was Jonathan Coachman.
But Dear God this movie has a identity crisis of what it wants to be and it's just so boring. Everything feels so sterilized and soulless and the film doesn't know what it want's to be. This is a major disappointment. At least with Dirty Grandpa aka Zac Efron's comedic masterpiece you knew exactly what you were going to get with it so you weren't dissapointed by it whether you loved it or hated it. That movie had a clear direction. This doesn't.
God this film is so boring.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2017 7:21:02 GMT -5
*2 hour monologue from The Rock incoming...*
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Post by BorneAgain on Sept 3, 2017 9:05:49 GMT -5
And think about that for a moment. A modern film with a budget and A list actors and they managed to make Baywatch boring, something only previously achieved by certain episodes of Baywatch Nights.
That's like adapting H.R. Pufnstuf and making it too restrained and grounded in realism.
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salz4life
Grimlock
Prichard is a guy who gets that his job is to service his boss.
Posts: 13,937
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Post by salz4life on Sept 3, 2017 9:19:45 GMT -5
I liked it. Sorry.
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Post by OldDirtyBernie on Sept 3, 2017 9:30:33 GMT -5
I didn't think it was the worst movie ever, but I agree that it seemed confused. You'd get the comedy moment, followed by serious, then action, and then they'd circle back. I told my wife that it was quite possibly the stupidest movie I'd ever seen, but so stupid that I almost liked it.
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Post by Hit Girl on Sept 3, 2017 9:39:33 GMT -5
Let's face it, most of Rock's movies suck.
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agent817
Fry's dog Seymour
Doesn't Know Whose Ring It Is
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Post by agent817 on Sept 3, 2017 10:33:12 GMT -5
I was entertained enough, but I thought that it could have gone without too much of the sex jokes.
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Post by edgestar on Sept 3, 2017 10:44:13 GMT -5
I don't think it was in the theater for very long, but I could be wrong, and I've also never seen it lol.
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riseofsetian1981
King Koopa
"I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left."
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Post by riseofsetian1981 on Sept 3, 2017 10:48:01 GMT -5
Let's face it, most of Rock's movies suck. Gridiron Gang is his best movie in my opinion.
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Mozenrath
FANatic
Foppery and Whim
Speedy Speed Boy
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Post by Mozenrath on Sept 3, 2017 11:02:13 GMT -5
The movie did not need to be that long. It wouldn't be brilliant if shorter, but it'd be a shitload more tolerable.
Let me put this into perspective. In the entire film Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice himself is on screen for roughly like 18-19 minutes. A lot can and should happen in that amount of time on film. That is time spent wisely.
Baywatch is more than 2 hours long. Shaving even 15-20 minutes off would do it a world of good. Same goes for Sisters with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, which feels like it clocks in at just short of a decade.
Comedies RARELY need to be more than 90 minutes, and Baywatch was not one of them. Hire a goddamn editor, comedy directors.
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Sept 3, 2017 11:55:40 GMT -5
People remember Baywatch for the boobs, but even rated R there's not a bare boob in the bunch. What were they thinking?
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Post by The 1Watcher Experience on Sept 3, 2017 12:47:19 GMT -5
Let's face it, most of Rock's movies suck. Gridiron Gang is his best movie in my opinion. Empire State and Faster were pretty good too.
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Post by Kevin Hamilton on Sept 3, 2017 12:57:52 GMT -5
It's something that when it comes to Netflix I might put it on in the background, but that's about it.
Some trailers ya just go: "I'm never paying to see that, or making much of an effort, but I'll half-watch it while doing something else."
You're not likely to see that sort of tagline on the blu ray, but there are a lot of movies like that.
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wildojinx
Wade Wilson
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Post by wildojinx on Sept 3, 2017 12:58:54 GMT -5
Gridiron Gang is his best movie in my opinion. Empire State and Faster were pretty good too. I liked Walking Tall and the Fast and the Furious films he was in.
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Post by The 1Watcher Experience on Sept 3, 2017 13:04:25 GMT -5
Empire State and Faster were pretty good too. I liked Walking Tall and the Fast and the Furious films he was in. Walking Tall was good too. His performance wasn't bad in the Fast and the Furious movies but those movies are getting more ridiculous the more they go on with the series.
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Post by Fade is a CodyCryBaby on Sept 3, 2017 14:08:37 GMT -5
Haven't watched it. I'm sure I'll give it a watch on HBO down the line. Surprised it got received as such a dude, it seemed like a can't-miss prospect. Rock. Daddario. Efron. And just the the Baywatch property with a Rated R rating.
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Post by cabbageboy on Sept 3, 2017 17:00:04 GMT -5
People remember Baywatch for the boobs, but even rated R there's not a bare boob in the bunch. What were they thinking? See, I was about to come in here and discuss this very thing, having rented it at Redbox last night (with a 1.25 discount of course). If you ask anyone, and I mean anyone, what should be in an R rated Baywatch movie they would immediately say "I want boobs!" But what do we get? {Spoiler} The one dude's butt in the shower scene and the unfunny and disturbing morgue scene with Efron inspecting the dead councilman's penis. It seems like they wanted to distance themselves from the sorta sexist appeal of Baywatch, but that was kind of the point of the original. What does it say that I found Priyanka Chopra to be the hottest woman in this thing? Further, and this is more into cameo spoiler territory, {Spoiler} I can't for the life of me figure out what the deal was with the real Hasselhoff and Anderson showing up. It was like The Rock was Mitch Buchanan but then the real Buchanan shows up and I had no idea what they were going for. Then the real CJ shows up in the last scene. Obviously Rock and Hasselhoff aren't related here so what was the deal? What wasn't Rock just the guy who took over from Hasselhoff circa 2001 or so and was a totally different guy? Was the young CJ here a relative of the real CJ?
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Sept 3, 2017 18:35:13 GMT -5
It was a dumb idea to try and make a comedy out of a show that was a laughingstock to begin with
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Post by SHAKEMASTER TV9 is Don Knotts on Sept 3, 2017 18:57:30 GMT -5
People remember Baywatch for the boobs, but even rated R there's not a bare boob in the bunch. What were they thinking? See, I was about to come in here and discuss this very thing, having rented it at Redbox last night (with a 1.25 discount of course). If you ask anyone, and I mean anyone, what should be in an R rated Baywatch movie they would immediately say "I want boobs!" But what do we get? {Spoiler}{Spoiler} The one dude's butt in the shower scene and the unfunny and disturbing morgue scene with Efron inspecting the dead councilman's penis. It seems like they wanted to distance themselves from the sorta sexist appeal of Baywatch, but that was kind of the point of the original. What does it say that I found Priyanka Chopra to be the hottest woman in this thing? Further, and this is more into cameo spoiler territory, {Spoiler}{Spoiler} I can't for the life of me figure out what the deal was with the real Hasselhoff and Anderson showing up. It was like The Rock was Mitch Buchanan but then the real Buchanan shows up and I had no idea what they were going for. Then the real CJ shows up in the last scene. Obviously Rock and Hasselhoff aren't related here so what was the deal? What wasn't Rock just the guy who took over from Hasselhoff circa 2001 or so and was a totally different guy? Was the young CJ here a relative of the real CJ? Nope, it's perfectly acceptable to think Priyanka Chopra was the hottest woman. She's very hot. It's weird to bother trying to distance from it. It's the only thing that might get people interested in seeing Alexandra Daddario on a cinema screen. The nostalgia for the show is based entirely on the woman and making fun of David Hasselhoff's singing career. As far as the cameo though, {Spoiler}From what I read, Hasselhoff was supposed to be Mitch's mentor. Pamela Anderson didn't have any speaking lines, right? I didn't see it, but she's meant to be CJ's mom.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2017 19:05:21 GMT -5
I haven't figured out how the Rock is making so much money in Hollywood because his movies defy the laws of physics and suck and blow at the same time.
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