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Post by Pierre the Renaissance Man on Feb 17, 2019 11:29:38 GMT -5
I don’t know where else to turn. Friday night I went to the strip club with one of my friends. I was drunk and stoned but I know that’s no excuse. One of the strippers gave me oral sex for a few seconds. It’s been killing me the last two days. Today I told my wife and she wants nothing to do with me. I don’t know what to do. Anyone been through something like this? I f***ed up and I don’t know where else to turn
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Feb 17, 2019 11:49:30 GMT -5
Well, you told her the truth which was the right thing to do. You can only apologize so many times. It's kind of up to her what happens next.
I assume there were issues in the marriage already and this is just an extension of those issues? Or was everything great between you two before this?
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Dub H
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Post by Dub H on Feb 17, 2019 13:17:21 GMT -5
She does need time to get forgive you , if she will but I don't think it's done and over. You have started with honesty now you can't give up on your marriage. Sometimes big romantic gestures can seen corny but work , but I don't k how your wife well to say what would work.
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Feb 17, 2019 13:25:36 GMT -5
Your first mistake was going to the strip club without her knowing about it ahead of time. I'm guessing she wouldn't have been cool with even just that regardless of what else happened. It sends a signal to your wife that she isn't good enough for you anymore.
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Post by Hit Girl on Feb 17, 2019 13:26:48 GMT -5
I don’t know where else to turn. Friday night I went to the strip club with one of my friends. I was drunk and stoned but I know that’s no excuse. One of the strippers gave me oral sex for a few seconds. It’s been killing me the last two days. Today I told my wife and she wants nothing to do with me. I don’t know what to do. Anyone been through something like this? I f***ed up and I don’t know where else to turn I agree with your wife.
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Post by MC Blowfish on Feb 17, 2019 13:53:30 GMT -5
First of all, give her space. Let her be angry and let her cool down. I would recommend looking into marriage counseling as well. Also if she wants to talk or yell, let her. Listen and empathize with her. You might also want lay off the drinking and pot.
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fw91
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Post by fw91 on Feb 17, 2019 13:59:21 GMT -5
give her time.
But did you do this willingly and consent? Because sometimes strippers kind of do their own thing. I received mock, "oral sex" during a lap dance once, and didn't make a play for it.
going to a strip club might be bad enough, but sometimes things just kinda happen without you really doing anything.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 14:05:38 GMT -5
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I just wouldn't have said anything. Like, you know you f***ed up, you should have just kept it to yourself.
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Feb 17, 2019 14:06:37 GMT -5
give her time. But did you do this willingly and consent? Because sometimes strippers kind of do their own thing. I received mock, "oral sex" during a lap dance once, and didn't make a play for it. going to a strip club might be bad enough, but sometimes things just kinda happen without you really doing anything. His first mistake was being in the strip club in the first place and letting himself be in this kind of environment. No good was going to come of it.
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67 more
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Post by 67 more on Feb 17, 2019 14:07:00 GMT -5
I know that if I was both drunk and stoned I'd have thrown up all over that stripper before it even came to that.
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67 more
King Koopa
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Post by 67 more on Feb 17, 2019 14:08:42 GMT -5
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I just wouldn't have said anything. Like, you know you f***ed up, you should have just kept it to yourself. It is better it comes from him not someone else.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 14:12:29 GMT -5
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I just wouldn't have said anything. Like, you know you f***ed up, you should have just kept it to yourself. Yes, it does. As for the OP. Now you wait. You f***ed up and f***ed up bad. You did the right thing by being honest. But now she has to make her mind up o his she’s gonna react. If she chooses to stay you thank whatever deity you pray to and work on yourself and the relationship. If she decides to leave, you have no right to be angry and you still work like hell on yourself. You have no excuse. You have no escape. Accept this and use it as a reason to be better. Because the only other option is to continue doing creepy as shit.
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fw91
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Post by fw91 on Feb 17, 2019 14:18:47 GMT -5
give her time. But did you do this willingly and consent? Because sometimes strippers kind of do their own thing. I received mock, "oral sex" during a lap dance once, and didn't make a play for it. going to a strip club might be bad enough, but sometimes things just kinda happen without you really doing anything. His first mistake was being in the strip club in the first place and letting himself be in this kind of environment. No good was going to come of it. yeah, but who knows all the circumstances that led him there. like if it was a bachelor party, are you going to be the guy that stays behind? That being said don't get a lap dance if you are taken. only leads to trouble.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 14:22:15 GMT -5
You f***ed up, but you did the right thing by telling her. It's pretty noble to come clean about something that you probably could've gotten away with.
Time and space man. That's it. Hopefully you have some stuff to do to keep your mind occupied. Good luck.
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Feb 17, 2019 14:43:16 GMT -5
You f***ed up, but you did the right thing by telling her. It's pretty noble to come clean about something that you probably could've gotten away with. Time and space man. That's it. Hopefully you have some stuff to do to keep your mind occupied. Good luck. Yeah, the OP did the right thing which is more than a lot of guys would do. Sometimes it's not the mistake that matters, but how you react to it and he did the right thing. Now the ball is in her court.
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SAJ Forth
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Post by SAJ Forth on Feb 17, 2019 14:53:10 GMT -5
Only thing I can say is whatever happens, you at least understood it was wrong to do & did the right thing by telling her.
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Post by Pierre the Renaissance Man on Feb 17, 2019 15:01:04 GMT -5
She knows that I go down to the strip in every once in a while so that’s not such a big deal. I like going there because all the focus is on me. Pretty stupid way to look at it. I didn’t ask the stripper to do it. I’ve had other dances were they’ve unbuttoned my pants but that’s been all. I’ve apologized constantly when I’ve talked with her and I’ve given her space since she asked me to. I know I messed up and I have no one to blame but myself. The hardest part for me is knowing how much I hurt her. I also scheduled an std test just to be on the safe side. No way I would be able to live with myself if I kept quiet and God forbid caught something. Thanks for hearing me out everyone. I appreciate it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 15:10:32 GMT -5
For what it's worth, you've made all the right moves since the incident. People make mistakes; it's what happens in the aftermath that says the most about a person.
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The Ichi
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Post by The Ichi on Feb 17, 2019 16:03:12 GMT -5
Granted, my only knowledge of strip clubs is from tv/movies, but I thought they weren't allow to offer that kind of service?
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Feb 17, 2019 16:08:29 GMT -5
Granted, my only knowledge of strip clubs is from tv/movies, but I thought they weren't allow to offer that kind of service? I didn't think so, either...
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