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Post by Joe Neglia on Feb 17, 2019 16:49:15 GMT -5
Granted, my only knowledge of strip clubs is from tv/movies, but I thought they weren't allow to offer that kind of service? Happens all the time, and no, it's not legal.
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Post by DZ: WF Legacy on Feb 17, 2019 17:02:28 GMT -5
Good on you for telling her. Out of all the girls that cheated on me in my life, only one actually confessed without me having to do detective work. Most people don't care until they're caught, and they don't give two shits about the emotional damage they permanently scar their partner with. You actually seem to care, so I'd say there's some hope left. At the very least, it wasn't with a friend or someone actually relevant to your life, it was a meaningless nothing with nobody that matters to you personally. Just keep making things right whenever she gets the space she needs, and avoid situations like this like the plague in the future.
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Post by Fade is a CodyCryBaby on Feb 17, 2019 18:32:39 GMT -5
Granted, my only knowledge of strip clubs is from tv/movies, but I thought they weren't allow to offer that kind of service? They do.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 18:34:57 GMT -5
Your only hope now is to kiss so much ass that it would make Smithers look like Stone Cold and hope for the best.
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Dub H
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Post by Dub H on Feb 17, 2019 18:37:08 GMT -5
Granted, my only knowledge of strip clubs is from tv/movies, but I thought they weren't allow to offer that kind of service? By law they dont. its one of those cases where the stripper goes "oh,he paid for a dance, things got hot and we got into it,the money was for the dance,not for the sex" you cant really prove the money was for the sex
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adamclark52
El Dandy
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Post by adamclark52 on Feb 17, 2019 18:58:29 GMT -5
The exact same thing happened to me a few months ago, minus the oral sex. I felt guilty too so I told my wife and she had the same reaction. Time was all that could heal it.
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Post by romanstylesiii on Feb 17, 2019 19:03:32 GMT -5
People make mistakes man. You owned the mistake..
In any anonymous survey, a majority of people admit to cheating on a spouse at least one time in their lives.
I know little of this helps, but it is not like you consciously set out to hurt your wife
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 19:23:26 GMT -5
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I just wouldn't have said anything. Like, you know you f***ed up, you should have just kept it to yourself. Hate to be “that guy” cause you’ve already told the truth but I agree with this. You should have kept this to yourself and learned from it.
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Paul
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Post by Paul on Feb 17, 2019 19:25:22 GMT -5
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but I just wouldn't have said anything. Like, you know you f***ed up, you should have just kept it to yourself. Hate to be “that guy” cause you’ve already told the truth but I agree with this. You should have kept this to yourself and learned from it. This sets a bad precedent, though. If he isn't honest about this screw-up, he might withhold other things from her down the line because "Hey, it worked once...".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 19:31:23 GMT -5
Hate to be “that guy” cause you’ve already told the truth but I agree with this. You should have kept this to yourself and learned from it. This sets a bad precedent, though. If he isn't honest about this screw-up, he might withhold other things from her down the line because "Hey, it worked once...". Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I am a casual dater. I meet up with various girls, have a good time and usually nothing comes off it. I don’t know how to be a boyfriend so I’m not the best guy to be taking advice from. My initial reaction was “You know you love her, you know you f***ed up... so why tell her and risk losing her?”... I feel like sometimes being too honest can work against you. It might not be the right thing to do... but you gotta do what you gotta do to keep the things you want in your life. I’ve told plenty of lies to women and maybe it’s because I’ve never had an actual relationship and thus never had that “emotional connection” but I don’t lose a wink of sleep over it. Tell girls what they want to hear. In my experience, everyone is out for themselves anyway.
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Post by Pierre the Renaissance Man on Feb 17, 2019 19:50:34 GMT -5
The exact same thing happened to me a few months ago, minus the oral sex. I felt guilty too so I told my wife and she had the same reaction. Time was all that could heal it. Is everything all good now?
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Post by HMARK Center on Feb 17, 2019 21:37:10 GMT -5
After you screwed up you did the right thing: knew you did something wrong, owned it, fessed up. That takes some guts. It's not my place to say this is the case, but I wonder if there's anything to the other stuff that might make this harder on her than just the few seconds of someone attempting oral sex on you; you say that going to the strip club sometimes is something she's aware of, but it could also be a product of her not being happy that you were inebriated to a certain level, and feeling that her fears were borne out because you got messed up and it led to a case of poor judgment. I'm not making a judgment on you at all, there, as your tolerance levels and how you handle yourself when you're on stuff is something only you know, but it just feels that often situations like this can have more going on than just "he/she did something with somebody else." I also know I'm a weird person to talk about stuff like this: being casually "cheated" on is just something that doesn't really bug me (I'm more concerned by emotional cheating), but I've got tons of boring criticisms of the modern nuclear living arrangement and the parameters that are seemingly accepted as being intractable on that front that I won't bog the thread down with right now.
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Post by Doctor No on Feb 17, 2019 21:49:09 GMT -5
If you think she is the type that can’t 100% get over this at some point. End it. Having stuff like that happen and the page isn’t ever fully turned isn’t going to end well and can make for a bad tit for tat long term situation.
But hopefully things go well for you guys though.
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adamclark52
El Dandy
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Post by adamclark52 on Feb 17, 2019 22:30:37 GMT -5
The exact same thing happened to me a few months ago, minus the oral sex. I felt guilty too so I told my wife and she had the same reaction. Time was all that could heal it. Is everything all good now? She still hangs it over me but it’s better than it could be
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2019 22:34:50 GMT -5
My advice is to ask literally anyone else besides an internet message board.
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Post by Pierre the Renaissance Man on Feb 18, 2019 1:59:21 GMT -5
Is everything all good now? She still hangs it over me but it’s better than it could be I’d sign up for that.
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Post by Pierre the Renaissance Man on Feb 18, 2019 1:59:51 GMT -5
My advice is to ask literally anyone else besides an internet message board. I asked friends about it but I just needed to vent and get an outside unbiased perspective from people that don’t know us
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Post by "Gizzark" Mike Wronglevenay on Feb 18, 2019 3:58:37 GMT -5
First reply in the thread was correct.
You made the mistake. You told her, as you should have done. It's in her hands now.
But I also agree with the person who mentioned this shit doesn't happen for no reason. Cheating is a symptom not a problem in itself. Sounds like you already aren't happy in this marriage especially given how you describe your reasons for going to strip clubs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2019 6:38:13 GMT -5
Hate to be “that guy” cause you’ve already told the truth but I agree with this. You should have kept this to yourself and learned from it. This sets a bad precedent, though. If he isn't honest about this screw-up, he might withhold other things from her down the line because "Hey, it worked once...". That's a fair point. I meant he should have kept it to himself to spare his wife the heartbreak (since he won't do it again anyway it seems) but I can see how that would make someone say "Well now I can get away with whatever I want."
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Fauxnaki
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Post by Fauxnaki on Feb 18, 2019 7:44:53 GMT -5
Well at least you can spend more time at the strip club now
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