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Post by 'Foretold' Joker on Feb 26, 2007 7:42:05 GMT -5
Like the guy said above, I think you are on your own with you opinion there Deus. It was a good who dunnit film with plenty of action with decent acting.
The raid on the slum area with the crazy surveillance spiders was certainly memorable.
The only minor problem I saw with it was the excess of advertising in it. (But it's a minor quibble.)
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Feb 26, 2007 7:56:50 GMT -5
Am I the only one who actually saw Minority Report? It's the worst movie I've ever seen. It's one of my favorite movies. What bad about it? oh and BTW I DISAGREE! It's an incoherent mess with no internal logic, repeated Deus Ex Machinas to mend whatever corner they painted themselves into, pointless plot twists and, worst of all, a general condescendcion and insulting attitude to the intelligence of the audience. Tell me: - Why do a barrage of police officers repel down to a lawn to stand motionless and watch as Tom Cruise figures out where the murder will happen, charge off, discard his protective helmet, and overpower the killer himself, before then making the scene (or, more likely, a second set of cops, as they too repel from flying vehicles)? If they don't care about people's rights (as arresting them for murders they haven't comitted would strongly imply) why don't they storm every house? No time? They seem to have plenty of time to stand around looking puzzled. - Why can a man wearing protective body armor not move after crashing through a wall, when Tom Cruise, wearing a protective fashionable leather jacket, can brush it all away and go on his merry way? - The car being assembled as Colin Farrell and Cruise duke it out is just stupid and moronic, but begs the question: are these cars (which the magnetic and flying vehicles should rightfully have made obsolete) built with fuel in their tank and the keys in the ignition? Apparently so as Cruise can start it up as it quite literally rolls off the assembly line and make his getaway. - Is there anything worse or more cliecheed than an old wiseman that spout off vital info in riddle form? Oh, how very clever. They made the old wise man and wise woman. - Wauw, the doctor has a grudge againts Tom Cruise. Where does that go? Absolutely nowhere, so why include it in a movie that's already 2½ hours too long. - Why, oh why, do the small robot thingies travel together (and communicate by making sounds and gestures at each other) when the cops make a specific point out of saying they are releasing 4 - ONE FOR EACH FLOOR.? - Oh, look, Tom Cruise has a flashback sequence that handily unveils a skill he has use for in the next scene. That's daft writing, that is. Very CONVINIENT. - Okay, let me get the straight: If you drop eyeballs, they roll like marbles, and the optical nerve on the back can disappear and reappear in time for you to catch the now soft and squishy eye? And if you are wanted for murder wouldn't your access to POLICE HEADQUARTERS be suspended? Guess not, eh. - Great, we spend the movie looking for the Minority Report only to find out it doesn't exist and has no meaning. It's all about dreams of the psychics. Which has no meaning either. - Ah, the final straw: The villain has set up an extremely complicated and intricated plot only to blurt out a revealing mistake and expose the whole thing. How very Columbo of him. What a rotten turd of a movie. I vowed to never watch a Steven Spielberg or Tom Cruise film ever again and to this day, I haven't.
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Post by Banned Member on Feb 26, 2007 8:29:08 GMT -5
Am I the only one who actually saw Minority Report? It's the worst movie I've ever seen. Does taking the dvd out 15 mins after watching count?
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Desi
Dennis Stamp
Do Not Approve
Posts: 4,520
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Post by Desi on Feb 26, 2007 8:29:42 GMT -5
I only watched it to fangirl for Hugh Jackman.
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Feb 26, 2007 8:31:01 GMT -5
Am I the only one who actually saw Minority Report? It's the worst movie I've ever seen. Does taking the dvd out 15 mins after watching count? You have been soiled by Minority Report, no matter how long you were watching. Pray for those of us that had to sit through it all.
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Post by Banned Member on Feb 26, 2007 8:34:03 GMT -5
Does taking the dvd out 15 mins after watching count? You have been soiled by Minority Report, no matter how long you were watching. Pray for those of us that had to sit through it all. Ok, and thast flim reminded why I hated Tom Cruises acting. *Wooooooooooooo Stunt Granny!!!!!
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Post by amsiraK on Feb 26, 2007 9:02:06 GMT -5
It's one of those movies I consider "stupid but fun" - I know it's a complete turd, but I will still watch it given the chance, much like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, DEBs or the Marine. Yeah, I'd rank it there, too. Not exactly Citizen Kane, but I'll watch it if nothing is on. I like Hugh "Best Unintentional Porn Name Ever" Jackman. And ROFL at D's list. I made a similar list for Red Dawn.
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Feb 26, 2007 9:35:04 GMT -5
It's one of those movies I consider "stupid but fun" - I know it's a complete turd, but I will still watch it given the chance, much like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, DEBs or the Marine. Yeah, I'd rank it there, too. Not exactly Citizen Kane, but I'll watch it if nothing is on. I like Hugh "Best Unintentional Porn Name Ever" Jackman. And ROFL at D's list. I made a similar list for Red Dawn. I'm unfamiliar with this "Red Dawn" of which you speak. I did, however, post a similar list on DareDevil when Slim claimed it was a decent flick. The audacity!
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Feb 26, 2007 9:48:53 GMT -5
"- Oh, look, Tom Cruise has a flashback sequence that handily unveils a skill he has use for in the next scene. That's daft writing, that is. Very CONVINIENT."
So, when he's hurt in the movie, does Tom smash an oil drum apart, only to find a tasty, fully cooked turkey inside that completely replenishes his health meter?
(In case you don't catch the sarcasm, I'm mocking Minority Report by calling that 'video game logic')
As far as Van Helsing goes, I dont know. I only saw it once, in the theater the night it came out, but I remember enjoying it. Possibly because I saw it for free. To the haters, why did you dislike it specifically? If you feel like it, Deus, I'd love to read your 'treatment' for it along the lines of what you just wrote for Minority Report (Which I never saw, but, didn't ever want to either)
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Post by amsiraK on Feb 26, 2007 9:50:39 GMT -5
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Feb 26, 2007 10:16:49 GMT -5
"- Oh, look, Tom Cruise has a flashback sequence that handily unveils a skill he has use for in the next scene. That's daft writing, that is. Very CONVINIENT." So, when he's hurt in the movie, does Tom smash an oil drum apart, only to find a tasty, fully cooked turkey inside that completely replenishes his health meter? (In case you don't catch the sarcasm, I'm mocking Minority Report by calling that 'video game logic') As far as Van Helsing goes, I dont know. I only saw it once, in the theater the night it came out, but I remember enjoying it. Possibly because I saw it for free. To the haters, why did you dislike it specifically? If you feel like it, Deus, I'd love to read your 'treatment' for it along the lines of what you just wrote for Minority Report (Which I never saw, but, didn't ever want to either) I'll give it a quick whirl, though I don't remember it too vividly. - Van Helsing takes on Mr.Hyde, who is behind the Murders In The Rue Morgue. This was obviously stolen from League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. And why would the Catholic Church even care about that? He also wields a bunch of weapons that never appear again and seem to only serve the purpose of adding accessories to a possible action figure. - He arrives in a small village that is plagued by various monsters, such as Vampires (who can freely move around in broad daylight as long it's cloudy), werewolves and Frankenstein's monster, yet noone seems to have the common sense to move away. - When transforming into a werewolf, a character is seen ripping off his skin to reveal fur underneath, a slow and painful process. Yet changeing back (which is done by ripping off the fur) is apparently a super quick process, just as changing is when it happens off screen. - Werewolves can walk on walls. - Frankenstein's monster, when confronted, has learned to speak a refined english from reading the Bible, but consistency is not among the words he learned it would seem. He claims he just want to live, yet say that Van Helsing should kill him seconds later. What's the deal, big guy? - I'm no getaway artist, but when I make a decoy stagecoach, I would think it was a bad idea to have the real stagecoach on THE ROAD RIGHT NEXT TO THE ROAD WITH THE DECOY! Luckily the villains are so stupid they don't seem to notice. - Hey, look! A Fearless Vampire Hunters rip off. Why do vampires (who cast no reflection) always dance in front of large ceiling-to-floor mirrors? - Dracula has a Fortress Of Solitude? - So what? Van Helsing is the archangel Gabriel and the brother of Abraham Van Helsing, but can easily be infected by lycanthrophy? - Wow, the sadistic henchman Igor gets his comeuppance in a stupid and implausible way. How very stupid. - Why do heroes always bring along bumbling, idiot sidekicks? Maybe because they always inadvertently stumble onto the correct answer to riddles that people dedicating their entire lives to can't figure out. - Between Roxburgh's ridiculous overacting, Kate's horrible accent and Jackman's stonefaced underacting this movie is an acting coaches nightmare. - Woohoo, the status quo is restored. Let's never make a sequel to this garbage.
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Post by amsiraK on Feb 26, 2007 10:20:41 GMT -5
Even really good horror movies make me wonder about this. "Don't go there! That castle, which our village surrounds, is Dracula's! He's terrible and evil and comes down here to eat us periodically!"
Hero: "and you're STILL here? SHEESH! You guys are dumbasses. You deserve to get periodically eaten." *leaves*
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Johnny Danger (Godz)
Wade Wilson
loves him some cavity searches
Lord Xeen's going to kill you.
Posts: 27,736
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Post by Johnny Danger (Godz) on Feb 26, 2007 10:26:44 GMT -5
Not bad Deus, but as for your point of "why don't people move away", I've gotta respond with..... Why the f*** would anyone live in Japan, especially after Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, Ghidora, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, and dozens others all destroy a major city seemingly every year or two for the past 50 years? The rest of the world's giant monster quotent seems to sit around...well....the zero range.
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Feb 26, 2007 10:33:24 GMT -5
Van Helsing was "watchable if nothing else is on" for me
Compared to "The Monster Squad" it's Manos BAD
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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Feb 26, 2007 10:35:49 GMT -5
Not bad Deus, but as for your point of "why don't people move away", I've gotta respond with..... Why the f*** would anyone live in Japan, especially after Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, Ghidora, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, and dozens others all destroy a major city seemingly every year or two for the past 50 years? The rest of the world's giant monster quotent seems to sit around...well....the zero range. The insurance companies have probably gone bust over there thanks to Godzilla and his crew. The only thing I liked about Van Helsing was David Wenham's character. (can't remember his name). But he added humor to the role, and he got to score with a decently hot village girl. Everything else......if there's nothing else on, I'll watch. Possibly.
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Post by amsiraK on Feb 26, 2007 10:43:17 GMT -5
Van Helsing was "watchable if nothing else is on" for me Compared to "The Monster Squad" it's Manos BAD Oh, Monster Squad kicks all kinds of Van Helsing ass.
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Post by Doctor Tull-eus S. Venture on Feb 26, 2007 10:43:54 GMT -5
Van Helsing was "watchable if nothing else is on" for me Compared to "The Monster Squad" it's Manos BAD Oh, Monster Squad kicks all kinds of Van Helsing ass. Indeed. Wolf man's got NARDS.
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Post by amsiraK on Feb 26, 2007 10:47:49 GMT -5
*to friends* WOLFMAN'S GOT NARDS!
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Post by King Fox -1017 Bricksquad on Feb 26, 2007 11:17:14 GMT -5
Van Helsing=Good
Minority Report=Really Bad
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Post by Deus Ex Machina on Feb 26, 2007 11:31:49 GMT -5
Not bad Deus, but as for your point of "why don't people move away", I've gotta respond with..... Why the f*** would anyone live in Japan, especially after Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra, Ghidora, MechaGodzilla, Gigan, Hedorah, and dozens others all destroy a major city seemingly every year or two for the past 50 years? The rest of the world's giant monster quotent seems to sit around...well....the zero range. Well, I see Godzilla and his crew more like natural disasters. Like earthquakes and such. People live in other places that get hit by such calamities. Living in a small remote village somewhere is eastern Europe where a bloodsucking fiend appear to nibble on you and your neighbours every full moon seems a little moronic when he apparently doesn't terrorize the village just up the road. Another thing about Van Helsing: - The villagers had no problem with Dracula and his ladies using them as a weekend buffet table, but when Doctor Frankenstein experiments to create life, bah GAWD, it's time to break out the picthforks and torches and go kill some monsters. WTF?
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