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Post by The Booty Disciple on Jun 4, 2007 22:11:10 GMT -5
You can't control emotions, especially female attraction, she was going to do this probably no matter what you did. The thing is to realize when you're in the last moments and take advantage of this moment. You have to realize that this has nothing to do with you and not to take it personally. Relationships especially at your age (I'm assuming you're in the 18-20 range) are acts more of faith than emotional attachment and usually end in flames. Just take what you learned from this, accept the emotional pain and use it to make you stronger, appreciate the experience, and get revenge on the pup. Yeah, I pretty much have to accept that ish happens especially in young relationships (I'm 19 about to be 20) and she is in college with a bunch of new and different guys. I guess I'll have fond memories of the 4 years, but like you said doesn't make it any easier. How do I go about confronting her, do I accuse her of cheating, or do I just ask her what the hell is up in general? I'd advise you to be the patient one. Going in throwing accusations around is only going to put her on the defensive and escalate the situation, and that makes getting positive progress (for her, you, or the relationship in general) a lot more difficult. Asking her what's motivating her feelings would likely work out far better. That leaves the door open for her, and puts the responsibility of honesty and trust on her. I would also strongly advise against asking if there's another guy in any capacity, because, again, it might put her on the defensive, whether or not that's the case. Keep in mind, man, the first relationships away from home can be the most difficult ones. Hell, I got locked into 2 really craptacular relationships with girls that were...well, to put it midly, psycho hose beasts. 6 months on the first, 18 on the second. It's all a time of growing and changing as an individual. It may turn out that there's not another guy at all, and that she's just wondering what's out there or something. Don't go in with the attitude that it's already over...defeating yourself before you go in is as bad as going in with a chip on your shoulder.
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Post by kickassforumguyme on Jun 4, 2007 22:23:03 GMT -5
Stick a fork in you
You're done.
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Jun 4, 2007 22:25:00 GMT -5
Yes...because we need yet another remark on how this situation is going to be bad without giving any constructive or positive feedback to his remarks.
The guy's asking for a bit of advice...not everyone needs smarmy remarks when they're feeling down and out.
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Post by Munkie91087 on Jun 4, 2007 22:26:12 GMT -5
Yeah, I pretty much have to accept that ish happens especially in young relationships (I'm 19 about to be 20) and she is in college with a bunch of new and different guys. I guess I'll have fond memories of the 4 years, but like you said doesn't make it any easier. How do I go about confronting her, do I accuse her of cheating, or do I just ask her what the hell is up in general? I'd advise you to be the patient one. Going in throwing accusations around is only going to put her on the defensive and escalate the situation, and that makes getting positive progress (for her, you, or the relationship in general) a lot more difficult. Asking her what's motivating her feelings would likely work out far better. That leaves the door open for her, and puts the responsibility of honesty and trust on her. I would also strongly advise against asking if there's another guy in any capacity, because, again, it might put her on the defensive, whether or not that's the case. Keep in mind, man, the first relationships away from home can be the most difficult ones. Hell, I got locked into 2 really craptacular relationships with girls that were...well, to put it midly, psycho hose beasts. 6 months on the first, 18 on the second. It's all a time of growing and changing as an individual. It may turn out that there's not another guy at all, and that she's just wondering what's out there or something. Don't go in with the attitude that it's already over...defeating yourself before you go in is as bad as going in with a chip on your shoulder. Yeah, I guess expecting the worst probably isn't a good idea, I'm just going to wait till I can talk to oher (damn her and her job). I'll see where she stands on the whole situation. Lets see if she thinks the relationship is worth fighting for.
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Jun 4, 2007 22:33:35 GMT -5
I'd advise you to be the patient one. Going in throwing accusations around is only going to put her on the defensive and escalate the situation, and that makes getting positive progress (for her, you, or the relationship in general) a lot more difficult. Asking her what's motivating her feelings would likely work out far better. That leaves the door open for her, and puts the responsibility of honesty and trust on her. I would also strongly advise against asking if there's another guy in any capacity, because, again, it might put her on the defensive, whether or not that's the case. Keep in mind, man, the first relationships away from home can be the most difficult ones. Hell, I got locked into 2 really craptacular relationships with girls that were...well, to put it midly, psycho hose beasts. 6 months on the first, 18 on the second. It's all a time of growing and changing as an individual. It may turn out that there's not another guy at all, and that she's just wondering what's out there or something. Don't go in with the attitude that it's already over...defeating yourself before you go in is as bad as going in with a chip on your shoulder. Yeah, I guess expecting the worst probably isn't a good idea, I'm just going to wait till I can talk to oher (damn her and her job). I'll see where she stands on the whole situation. Lets see if she thinks the relationship is worth fighting for. That being said, if things go poorly, I'd advise you to start drinking heavily. You don't drink? Okay...get a couple bottles of sparkling wine, wrap them in brown paper bags, and ACT like you're becoming a broken down wino because of this. If nothing else, it'll take your mind off it, and sometimes acting drunk is a helluva lot more fun than actually being drunk (this coming from the guy who every year convinces the new crop of freshman girls that I just chugged a pint of Jim Beam...amazing what apple juice and a little yellow dye will do. They think I'M HARDCORE! I'M HARDCORE!)
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Post by Munkie91087 on Jun 4, 2007 22:40:02 GMT -5
Yeah, I guess expecting the worst probably isn't a good idea, I'm just going to wait till I can talk to oher (damn her and her job). I'll see where she stands on the whole situation. Lets see if she thinks the relationship is worth fighting for. That being said, if things go poorly, I'd advise you to start drinking heavily. You don't drink? Okay...get a couple bottles of sparkling wine, wrap them in brown paper bags, and ACT like you're becoming a broken down wino because of this. If nothing else, it'll take your mind off it, and sometimes acting drunk is a helluva lot more fun than actually being drunk (this coming from the guy who every year convinces the new crop of freshman girls that I just chugged a pint of Jim Beam...amazing what apple juice and a little yellow dye will do. They think I'M HARDCORE! I'M HARDCORE!) You sir are my hero for the last part of that comment. I'm going to pretend I am a drunk homeless man who dances outside the local movie theater. How could that not cheer someone up?
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Post by balmudo on Jun 4, 2007 22:43:13 GMT -5
Has your girlfriend/boyfriend ever said to you, that they don't know how they feel about you anymore? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds to me that she doesn't love me anymore. I'm asking my fellow crappers for advice and what should I do? It's easy: *Kick, Stunner*
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Post by Munkie91087 on Jun 4, 2007 22:57:43 GMT -5
Has your girlfriend/boyfriend ever said to you, that they don't know how they feel about you anymore? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds to me that she doesn't love me anymore. I'm asking my fellow crappers for advice and what should I do? It's easy: *Kick, Stunner* Won't that put me in jail for 6months-year? Because I don't have Stonecold Money to get out of a situation like that.
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Post by Brother Photino on Jun 4, 2007 23:01:11 GMT -5
Has your girlfriend/boyfriend ever said to you, that they don't know how they feel about you anymore? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds to me that she doesn't love me anymore. I'm asking my fellow crappers for advice and what should I do? It's easy: *Kick, Stunner* If it wasn't for the damn MAN getting in the way, I'd go for his idea! Realistically, this relationship is on thin ice. If she was happy, sho wouldn't say something like this. Since she's young and you're young, don't take it personally, as women at that age don't know what they want. College does destroy relationships like this (it did to mine) and there isn't much you can do about it, as she's just awestruck by the number of interesting guys she meets there. As for what to do? Sit her down and get her to explain exactly what she meant. She most likely will try to sugar coat everything in order to spare your feelings, don't let her. Don't get upset or lose your emotional control, as this will lead her to think she made the right decision. In all likelihood, this relationship is over,. Use this as a learning experience and keep your distance when it's all over.
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Post by The Booty Disciple on Jun 4, 2007 23:01:37 GMT -5
Um...unlikely. You'd get popped with simple battery, but assuming you have first time offender status, I doubt you'd do jail time, though you'd likely be required by the court to get some sort of counseling and spend at least a year on probation.
Besides, violence begets violence. When my ex popped me in the head one night, I was the one talking everyone down...
*shakes head* Kee-rist.
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Joekishi
Fry's dog Seymour
Posts: 20,490
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Post by Joekishi on Jun 5, 2007 1:38:21 GMT -5
My thing is how does one fall out of love? I've been with this girl for 4 years, and everything seemed to be going pretty well. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, doesn't college kill almost all relationships? Though we survived the first year and we only go to school 45 minutes from eachother. Too bad I don't drink, because this would probably be a good time to start huh? Don't question a good thing, seriously though girls and guys tend to fall out of love at random and it's not because of anything they just get bored.
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Post by G✇JI☈A on Jun 5, 2007 1:47:00 GMT -5
I have had that question before. But it was soon forgotten about. It was in 2002 my GF wanted me to go to a BBQ her family was hosting but it fell on the day of the Big Day Out and I already had tickets and me and my friends had been planning for months. And my GF gets upset because I would not go to the BBQ that seemed to be planned just the week before. She said it will help me get to know her family better. I said there would be other times and I told her I was not not give up going to a festival that I already paid for ($90 BTW) to go and eat some cheap meat with her family. And the BDO was headlined by New Order, The Prodigy, System Of A Down and Garbage that year it was an argument she could not possibly win. She was pissed at me for months but she got over it.
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Post by ThereIsNoAbsurdistOnlyZuul on Jun 5, 2007 1:54:00 GMT -5
I was with you until the last five words. Revenge makes you look like a turd, therefore, nobody else will have you once word gets out. The best revenge is to have a better life than hers. Works every time. I didn't mean revenge as in putting a axe through her door or something like that... just little things that will get to her. However a girl who pulls this crap isn't worth the thought or effort afterwards, I'm talking about dropping psychological bombs on her that will make her think and really smurf with her head. Also, to the original poster. Break-ups take three weeks to come back from as long as you don't drink yourself into a stupidity or act emo about it. A healthy male always takes about three weeks to come back from a relationship where the word "love" was dropped. So then I was unhealthy due to your gross, baseless, and inaccurate generalization? Same with guys who go through divorces and the like? Not trying to pick at you, I just think the "three weeks" bit is... well false.
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megaman2184
Don Corleone
Megaman doesn't change facial expressions!!!
Posts: 1,670
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Post by megaman2184 on Jun 5, 2007 3:00:33 GMT -5
I guess this was posted yesterday but ill give my 2 cents anyway.
One thing you must not do is show your emotions towards here. Just take it day by day and act like you don't care. And if she wants to break up, then it's her lose. Treat it as a learning experience and keep your head up.
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megaman2184
Don Corleone
Megaman doesn't change facial expressions!!!
Posts: 1,670
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Post by megaman2184 on Jun 5, 2007 4:00:32 GMT -5
or recored a porno with her and send it to all your friends AND hers. You will be a star and you will feel good......better yet GREAT! Make her feel like the hoe or you can blast her in the face like a Jackson Pollock. Nice!
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