Post by angryfan on May 27, 2007 23:09:28 GMT -5
Bit of a short one, but haven't done one in a while, so here ya go guys. Hope it's ok.
(scene opens with HHH and Flair pacing in Steph’s office, with Steph and Sledgie sitting behind the desk)
HHH: This is complete crap and you know it!
Steph: I don’t see why you’re so upset, nothing’s happened yet.
HHH: But it could, and that’s the point!
Steph: So you two are going to sit here and get upset over what could happen?
HHH: Can’t you fix this?
Steph: How would that be fair?
HHH: Well, it just would. Look, you know how you always want me to pay more attention to weeding the lawn? Well, I will, if you promise me that I don’t have to be in the draft.
Steph: First of all, it’s not my call, it’s Daddy’s call, and second, you always wind up paying Van Dam to weed the yard.
HHH: Is it my fault that it’s funny when he tries to smoke the clippings?
Flair: Woooo!
HHH: Yeah, don’t distract me.
Steph: I’m not distracting you, dear, you’re doing fine at that yourself. Besides, you’re the only person that’s upset about this.
(Scene changes to Edge and Orton standing in a janitor’s closet
Edge: Look, how in the hell could I possibly owe you anything?
Orton: Well, let’s see. You make me wear a dress, get me stalked by Myspace Matt, and then cheat me out of candy. I’d say that’s how.
Edge: That’s in the past though.
Orton: Well, yeah, but…hey! Stop trying to distract me. Man, I can’t go back to Smackdown, I just can’t. Hell, I’m not even ON the show, and Teddy Long keeps trying to make me face the Undertaker again!
Edge: So you’re afraid of Teddy Long?
Orton: Quiet! Don’t be so loud, he might hear you!
(outside the room, Teddy Long is dancing through the hallway)
Long: Holla holla holla, Undatakah, holla, holla!
Taker: (stepping out of the vending area, carrying a jumbo sized Zebra Cake) You need something, Teddy?
Teddy: (pointing at the snack cake) That Little Debbie’s gonna go one on one with…The Undatakaaaaahhhh! You feelin’ me, playa?
Taker: Uh, sure thing Teddy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go snack…in…peeeeeeeace.
(Taker departs as Teddy continues dancing down the hallway)
(back in the janitor’s closet)
Orton: Look, all I’m saying is, between Teddy and Hardy, I can’t afford to go there, so will you help me, or not?
Edge: I’ll think about it.
(scene changes to a conference room, where Lashley is talking to Arn and Finlay)
Arn: (speaking slowly, as if to a small child) Look, kid, maybe a change of brands will do you good, right? You could be on RAW, you could go back to Smackdown, and there would be all sorts of opportunities for you. Now doesn’t that sound like fun?
Lashley: NO!
Arn: Bobby, let’s be reasonable now.
Lashley: I don’t WANT to go anywhere else, and you can’t make me!
Finlay: Should I get the net?
Arn: Try the leprechaun.
(Hornswoggle runs in)
Hornswoggle: If ya come to Smackdown, you could have some of me Lucky Charms!
Lashley: (stomping his foot) I don’t WANT Lucky Charms!
Hornswoggle: (staring at Finlay) See, I told you it wouldn’t work.
Finlay: (kicking Hornswoggle) Shut up!
Hornswoggle: Listen, I’m not even Irish, I’m from Missouri! You’re on your own, man, if you need me, I’ll be at the bar.
(Hornswoggle departs)
Arn: (still speaking slowly) Well, how about RAW, then?
Bobby: I don’t want to change brands! I’m ECW, darn it! I’m hardcore! (he begins jumping up and down, waving his arms like Joel Gertner having an epileptic seizure) I’M HARDCORE!
Arn: (sighing) Yeah, you’re hardcore, I know. But, you could still be hardcore on another brand, right?
Bobby: I’m not gonna change brands, and YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, you’re just a mean old bathturd! (he storms off)
Arn: Well, what do we do now?
Finlay: Go beat up the midget?
Arn: Best idea I’ve heard all day, let’s go.
(scene changes to Punk and Burke standing outside the building)
Burke: What are we gonna do, man? This whole draft thing, it could break up my new breed!
Punk: How is that my problem exactly?
Burke: Well, it just is! Look, these guys need me, and I need them. Even if you and I have had our problems, you need us, too, and we need you!
Punk: That doesn’t make any sense.
Burke: Sure it does. They’re my new breed, man, that’s something to be proud of!
Punk: You do realize that it’s you and two other guys, right? And that one of them is Matt Striker?
Burke: Yeah, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Putting our differences aside, how about I give you Striker’s services?
Punk: Thanks, but no thanks. Bad enough I’ve got Steph text messaging me, wanting to know when I’m going to prefect the James Earl Jones impression she wants me to use.
Burke: But come on, you’re straight edge, he’s probably used one at some point, it’s natural.
Punk: Like I said, no.
Burke: What the hell am I gonna do, man?
(London and Kendrick come tumbling past in the giant Atlasphere ball from American Gladiators)
Striker: (running up and standing in front of the ball) Hey, hey, no running!
Kendrick: Who’s running?
Striker: There is to be no running!
London: We’re rolling, not running.
Striker: Same thing.
London: Is not!
Kendrick: Yeah!
Striker: Is too! If you two keep this up, I’ll tell them you two need to be split up in the draft!
Kendrick: You WOULDN”T!
Striker: I would.
London: (fear entering his voice) What are we gonna do?
Kendrick: I know, Steph likes us, so we need to go show her how much we’ve improved!
(London and Kendrick depart for Steph’s office)
(scene changes back to HHH and Flair, still talking to Steph)
HHH: You really won’t take my name out of the draft?
Steph: Look, you two are the only ones that are giving me this much trouble. (she points to Sledgie, who is now wearing his own beanie) He hasn’t given me one problem about this.
(Sledige, as always, says nothing, but the beanie slides forward)
HHH: (glaring at Sledgie) Shut up, just shut up! You’ve done nothing but kiss ass and politic, and now I might have to pay for it!
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Damn right woooo!
(Sledgie still says nothing)
(the door bursts open and Londrick enter, still in the Atlasphere)
Londrick: Hey Steph!
Steph: Hey guys, what do you need?
London: Striker says that if we don’t stop running, we get split up. You’re not gonna split us up, right?
Steph: Well, it’s always a possibility with the draft, but I don’t think you two have anything to worry about.
Kendrick: Really?
Steph: Really.
London: Really really? Pinky swear?
Steph: Yep.
Kendrick: Well that’s a relief. (yelling into the hallway) Up yours, Striker! Steph says we’re fine!
HHH: Wait a damn minute, they get a pass, but I don’t? But I’m The Game, I’m that damn good, and I’m –
Steph: (cutting him off) still in the draft.
HHH: Damn it!
(scene opens with HHH and Flair pacing in Steph’s office, with Steph and Sledgie sitting behind the desk)
HHH: This is complete crap and you know it!
Steph: I don’t see why you’re so upset, nothing’s happened yet.
HHH: But it could, and that’s the point!
Steph: So you two are going to sit here and get upset over what could happen?
HHH: Can’t you fix this?
Steph: How would that be fair?
HHH: Well, it just would. Look, you know how you always want me to pay more attention to weeding the lawn? Well, I will, if you promise me that I don’t have to be in the draft.
Steph: First of all, it’s not my call, it’s Daddy’s call, and second, you always wind up paying Van Dam to weed the yard.
HHH: Is it my fault that it’s funny when he tries to smoke the clippings?
Flair: Woooo!
HHH: Yeah, don’t distract me.
Steph: I’m not distracting you, dear, you’re doing fine at that yourself. Besides, you’re the only person that’s upset about this.
(Scene changes to Edge and Orton standing in a janitor’s closet
Edge: Look, how in the hell could I possibly owe you anything?
Orton: Well, let’s see. You make me wear a dress, get me stalked by Myspace Matt, and then cheat me out of candy. I’d say that’s how.
Edge: That’s in the past though.
Orton: Well, yeah, but…hey! Stop trying to distract me. Man, I can’t go back to Smackdown, I just can’t. Hell, I’m not even ON the show, and Teddy Long keeps trying to make me face the Undertaker again!
Edge: So you’re afraid of Teddy Long?
Orton: Quiet! Don’t be so loud, he might hear you!
(outside the room, Teddy Long is dancing through the hallway)
Long: Holla holla holla, Undatakah, holla, holla!
Taker: (stepping out of the vending area, carrying a jumbo sized Zebra Cake) You need something, Teddy?
Teddy: (pointing at the snack cake) That Little Debbie’s gonna go one on one with…The Undatakaaaaahhhh! You feelin’ me, playa?
Taker: Uh, sure thing Teddy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go snack…in…peeeeeeeace.
(Taker departs as Teddy continues dancing down the hallway)
(back in the janitor’s closet)
Orton: Look, all I’m saying is, between Teddy and Hardy, I can’t afford to go there, so will you help me, or not?
Edge: I’ll think about it.
(scene changes to a conference room, where Lashley is talking to Arn and Finlay)
Arn: (speaking slowly, as if to a small child) Look, kid, maybe a change of brands will do you good, right? You could be on RAW, you could go back to Smackdown, and there would be all sorts of opportunities for you. Now doesn’t that sound like fun?
Lashley: NO!
Arn: Bobby, let’s be reasonable now.
Lashley: I don’t WANT to go anywhere else, and you can’t make me!
Finlay: Should I get the net?
Arn: Try the leprechaun.
(Hornswoggle runs in)
Hornswoggle: If ya come to Smackdown, you could have some of me Lucky Charms!
Lashley: (stomping his foot) I don’t WANT Lucky Charms!
Hornswoggle: (staring at Finlay) See, I told you it wouldn’t work.
Finlay: (kicking Hornswoggle) Shut up!
Hornswoggle: Listen, I’m not even Irish, I’m from Missouri! You’re on your own, man, if you need me, I’ll be at the bar.
(Hornswoggle departs)
Arn: (still speaking slowly) Well, how about RAW, then?
Bobby: I don’t want to change brands! I’m ECW, darn it! I’m hardcore! (he begins jumping up and down, waving his arms like Joel Gertner having an epileptic seizure) I’M HARDCORE!
Arn: (sighing) Yeah, you’re hardcore, I know. But, you could still be hardcore on another brand, right?
Bobby: I’m not gonna change brands, and YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, you’re just a mean old bathturd! (he storms off)
Arn: Well, what do we do now?
Finlay: Go beat up the midget?
Arn: Best idea I’ve heard all day, let’s go.
(scene changes to Punk and Burke standing outside the building)
Burke: What are we gonna do, man? This whole draft thing, it could break up my new breed!
Punk: How is that my problem exactly?
Burke: Well, it just is! Look, these guys need me, and I need them. Even if you and I have had our problems, you need us, too, and we need you!
Punk: That doesn’t make any sense.
Burke: Sure it does. They’re my new breed, man, that’s something to be proud of!
Punk: You do realize that it’s you and two other guys, right? And that one of them is Matt Striker?
Burke: Yeah, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. Putting our differences aside, how about I give you Striker’s services?
Punk: Thanks, but no thanks. Bad enough I’ve got Steph text messaging me, wanting to know when I’m going to prefect the James Earl Jones impression she wants me to use.
Burke: But come on, you’re straight edge, he’s probably used one at some point, it’s natural.
Punk: Like I said, no.
Burke: What the hell am I gonna do, man?
(London and Kendrick come tumbling past in the giant Atlasphere ball from American Gladiators)
Striker: (running up and standing in front of the ball) Hey, hey, no running!
Kendrick: Who’s running?
Striker: There is to be no running!
London: We’re rolling, not running.
Striker: Same thing.
London: Is not!
Kendrick: Yeah!
Striker: Is too! If you two keep this up, I’ll tell them you two need to be split up in the draft!
Kendrick: You WOULDN”T!
Striker: I would.
London: (fear entering his voice) What are we gonna do?
Kendrick: I know, Steph likes us, so we need to go show her how much we’ve improved!
(London and Kendrick depart for Steph’s office)
(scene changes back to HHH and Flair, still talking to Steph)
HHH: You really won’t take my name out of the draft?
Steph: Look, you two are the only ones that are giving me this much trouble. (she points to Sledgie, who is now wearing his own beanie) He hasn’t given me one problem about this.
(Sledige, as always, says nothing, but the beanie slides forward)
HHH: (glaring at Sledgie) Shut up, just shut up! You’ve done nothing but kiss ass and politic, and now I might have to pay for it!
Flair: Wooooooooo!
HHH: Damn right woooo!
(Sledgie still says nothing)
(the door bursts open and Londrick enter, still in the Atlasphere)
Londrick: Hey Steph!
Steph: Hey guys, what do you need?
London: Striker says that if we don’t stop running, we get split up. You’re not gonna split us up, right?
Steph: Well, it’s always a possibility with the draft, but I don’t think you two have anything to worry about.
Kendrick: Really?
Steph: Really.
London: Really really? Pinky swear?
Steph: Yep.
Kendrick: Well that’s a relief. (yelling into the hallway) Up yours, Striker! Steph says we’re fine!
HHH: Wait a damn minute, they get a pass, but I don’t? But I’m The Game, I’m that damn good, and I’m –
Steph: (cutting him off) still in the draft.
HHH: Damn it!