Raw Captions: Babies and Puppies Edition

[The F'N Captain]

Vince- I...I had a speech prepared... oh my goodness I'm so embaressed. Heavens to Betsy....



Umaga- HASSSSAN CHOP!



Shelton- I REGRET NOTHING!



So please dear viewer, sit back and relax as William Regal shows you how to use NADS to remove Sandman's unwanted back hair...


Sadly, this is not a still photo. This is the actual speed of a Snitsky clothesline.



Everyone agreed Snitsky did a helluva impresion of the mutated Senator Kelly from X-men.



Rory: JESUS ROBBIE... you forgot to wear trunks under your kilt!




At this moment the ref knew what he had to do. Screw his dad, he WAS getting those breast implants!



Carlito: "Ok ok I take it back. The Marine didn't suck donkey balls... yeesh."



Carlito: "This... THIS... is the perfect size for a female's ass."

[

Regal: "Smeg off Lister!"



Randy slowly morphs into a new Dick Tracy character, "The Forehead"



Booker: "Did I forget to wear my trunks tonight?"



Booker: "You shut your whore mouth when men are talking!"



Booker: "I DID forget to wear my trunks!"



Even the Titantron is a Kennedy mark.....



Kennedy- "And hailing from Venice Beach California.... THE MAN CALLED.... STING!!!!!"



Just watching this segment at home made the Shockmaster burst into tears. He knew if he had a chance he could SO bust through that wall....



The New Machines. Hacksaw Machine, Damn Machine, and Mario Machine.



Santino: "Can-a I join tha Nation-a Domination?"



Coming soon to the WC forums-"The Umaga WTF?" pic.



Referee: "MY FINGER POINTS!"



Cena: APPPLESAUUUUUUUCE!!!!!



Orton was stopped in mid beatdown by a horrific sight. His hotel room had finally tracked him down... and it wanted revenge.....



Carlito: "Don't make me use a Jeff Hardy Fireball!"

[Dolph Zalgo]

I know this is wrong in many, many ways... but...



Wir müssen BABIES und PUPPIES ausrotten!

Edit: if this is TOO wrong and should be deleted I will.

[seano]

"AHHHHHHHH!!!! A BEE!!!!" "OMFG!!" "Get it off! Get it off!" "AHHH!! My shoe will kill it!" "AHHHHHHH!!!!" "AHHHHHHHH!!"



Jack Doan: AWESOME.

[Mozenrath]

Carlito: "Did you take out Umaga?"
Orton: "Put him away with the headkic- AW CRAP, He's Samoan!"

*Umaga gets right back up and cleans house*

[hassanchop]

Lawler: Is it me, or is Tank Abbot wearing a kilt?
JR: I don't know, but did Goldberg just shave his beard Keeng?

[Avalanche Alvarez]

What did the five Samoan fingers say to the Scottish face?!



SHELTON: "Weee!"
KENDRIK: "Stop smiling! You remember what happened to Paul, don't you?"
SHELTON: "I'm not worried! Ain't no stoppin me, nooooo!"
CARLITO: "....and people don't like me?"



REGAL: "Who drank my cup of Earl Grey?!!"
SANDMAN: "...uh oh."
REGAL: "Not so fast!"



RORIE: "It's called T...N...A. It's where Angle and Test went."
ROBBIE: "The one's with the six sided ring?"
RORIE: "That's them. I still have their number."
ROBBIE: "...might be time to set up a meeting."



From WWE records, Kenneth Kennedy brings you KENNEDYYYYYYYYYY'S LOVE SONGSSSSSSSS.......SONGSSSSS...



HACKSAW: (Thinking) "...what the hell am I doing?"
SIMMONS: (Thinking) "Damn? I went to Juliard! What is this?"
MORELLA: (Thinking) "Mama mia, that is one spicy...wait. Mama mia, I believe that meatball is...damn! I can do this! Mama mia! That's a spicy-a meat-a-ball! You are a genius, Mortimer!"



JR: "Looks like Umaga is in a "humbling" mood! Any takers? Carlito?"