Tapout
Hank Scorpio
WWE Creative(TM)
W.W.W.Y.K.I.
Posts: 6,919
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Post by Tapout on Dec 13, 2007 0:52:59 GMT -5
I really wanted this to be a thread about Hogan teasing a gorilla Don't give up hope on the dream just yet. Hogan does really need cash.
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bradyfan
ALF
Dance girl dance!!!
Posts: 1,093
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Post by bradyfan on Dec 13, 2007 1:13:15 GMT -5
Worst thread ever!!!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2007 1:21:39 GMT -5
But, why attack Hogan about it? Andre was slammed a couple of times in his career but all that flew out the window leading up to 'Mania 3. They both benefited from exaggeration.
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Scott
Dennis Stamp
Posts: 3,577
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Post by Scott on Dec 13, 2007 4:09:21 GMT -5
Hey, 40% of Andre is still about 250 pounds of dead weight.
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Post by Baixo Astral on Dec 13, 2007 4:51:36 GMT -5
By now everyone has seen Hogan's appearance on this weeks RAW. What I want to focus on this time is Hogan's repeated gestures to the fans signifying his intention to gorilla press The Great Khali. This has to be the most absurd, deluded thing Hogan has ever done to excite the crowd. Before you attack me, remember this is the man who to this day claims he 'Lifted Andre high in the air, over my head as the crowd went wild'. Or something to that effect. NANA NANA, don't think so. Just to be sure, I popped in that DVD and returned to a personal argument I have been having with myself for years. How much work did Hogan do to lift Andre? I still maintain he did 40% of the work, and Andre did 60%. And for Hogan to even suggest he 'lifted Andre over his head' is the most ludicrous statement he has ever made - kayfabe or not. So BAM, it's almost 2008, and Hogan comes out to save someone he knows nothing about, because he is the eternal good guy. Oops that he forgot to wear the Gold and Orange, instead of the nWo black he had on. Must be his age. Hogan comes out and saves Horns waggle, almost botching the block of Khali's 'BIG chop', and starts to throw punches UPWARD at least 25 degrees, which by the laws of physics means the energy behind the punches is reduced by a certain % by default, before the blow even lands. Khali sells this as if he is being hit with a brick, and goes down in 4 punches. Hmm. I seem to remember Cena having a much harder time knocking Khali down. Oh well. As Khali is on the mat, Hogan in his devious ways to milk the crowd, starts to show his intend to gorilla press Khali. At this moment, I am on my floor honestly laughing my ass off at Hogan, the entire this is so freaking pathetic. Pathetic to the point where it's funny! Sadly, even with the teasing gestures, we do not get to see Hogan gorilla press and life Khali right over his head to at least 10 feet high, like he did with Andre, god rest his soul. Did this current 'Cenaration' of fans really think Hogan could do this? Not even Cena could gorilla press Khali. Now a disclaimer. I understand that I am not supposed to recall every last detail about a wrestlers past when he is doing something current. I realize that I am supposed to not take it at face value, that I have to 'suspend my disbelief' in order to get in the mood to enjoy it. The problem is that I have thanks to the internet, and thanks to the terrible booking of the WWE for years now, I have become an angry, bitter man who is starting to find more enjoyment from nitpicking stuff like above instead of the actual shows and wrestlers. I am even sad to say and quite ashamed that I have even found myself to be wishing for wrestlers to injure themselves just to get them the hell off of TV since they sucks so much. John Cena was when this really started to get me going. Is this perverse? I think so, and I fear I have driven off a cliff that I cannot return to. I guess I am just a perverted sadist now. Have I always been? Is it wrong to enjoy moves that during a match look as if they really hurt someone when compared to moves that clearly are run of the mill? Am I the only one who enjoys when the wrestling gets out of hand, and into the realm of real violence? 8( Disclaimer #2. All of the above could be 100% who I am, with all of the views stated to go along with it. Or. It all could be a very clever work, a simple way for me to post yet hone my skills as a pseudo heel, who writes posts to try to evoke that response from people who cannot tell if it's real or fake? The world will never know... Chickie Singer? $300 Messageboard Pseudo-Heel? $100 Getting some fresh air? Essential.
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Post by Loki on Dec 13, 2007 5:22:17 GMT -5
omissis I am on my floor honestly laughing my ass off at Hogan, the entire this is so freaking pathetic. Pathetic to the point where it's funny! Personally I find more pathetic you felt the urge of writing a tiny essay about physics and logic in pro wrestling just to show how much you dislike Hogan. Logic, physics and pro wrestling aren't the best of buddies, just in case you didn't notice. What pleases the crowd is good. Regardless how "stupid" it may be. 99% of wrestling moves make ZERO SENSE from a logic/physic/common sense standpoint. Hogan wasn't gorilla-pressing guys left and right, not even in his heyday. I remember he did it to Earl Hebner, Jimmy Hart and maybe Virgil, but that's it. Fans "believe" what they want to believe. And I'll be in my cold cold grave the day Cena will press slam Khali. But that's not relevant anyway as long as the "illusion" works and sells. ... and if you're not down with that, I've got two words for you: STOP WATCHING!!! Just download some backyard garbage-wrestling federation, or even better, watch MMA. Or a snuff movie... that'll give you a violence fix... Gimmick poster get old rather quickly. And so do bitter fans who can't either stop watching or running their mouth about how much the product sucks. Either way, chill out.
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Post by thesunbeast on Dec 13, 2007 5:26:31 GMT -5
It's called exageration, you're suppossed to do that in pro wrestling. It's exagerated, not really the way it is. Hogan is old school, and while most fans today see Hogan's old (top) matches via dvd, anyone who actually watched wrestling in the late 80's knows that Hogan and everyone else that was an "entertainer" exagerated everything they said and did. When someone does it today, they look a little out of place because today's guys are so serious.
Hogan has always done the garilla press motion for a slam, it's called animation. Hogan is an animated charactor, what would a regular bodyslam motion look like? Hogan dosen't just do a quick motion either, he does it slowly with a grimace looking both ways. Animation.
Also, the thing about Hogan doin 40% of the work to slam Andre, yeah, wrestling is scrpted and predetermined. You work together. The following statement is going to be an extremely unpopular statement on the internet, considering what wrestlers have what fans, but I'm going to say it anyway because It's what I believe to be the truth about pro wrestling. See, the guy getting beat up is the one doing all of the work. Saying that Andre did all the work says nothing. The jobbers you see on TV taking the punishment, is doing all of the work. It's all an illusion, but there is a very real aspect, it's just stuff that goes over everyone's heads.
When Hogan talks about pressing someone high above, and they weigh 700 lbs, those are just animated exaggerations not unlike any form of great literature.
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Post by The Beast Disincarnate on Dec 13, 2007 7:02:27 GMT -5
I love your Anti-Hogan crusades Bro' It's time for somedy to tell the truth, at last.
Next time i'd like you to point the horrendous and heinous shot hogan made on Bret Hart during his promo...everybody thinks the "Never say never" thing was for Savage, but we know it was a shoot on Bret, because Hogan is jealous, Hogan hate Bret, and thinks Bret is like a child when he says that he will "never" appear again on WWE tv.
I hope we'll have a Wrestlemania showdown between Hogan and Bret so Bret could kick his ass big time!!
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Hiroshi Hase
Patti Mayonnaise
The Good Ol' Days
Posts: 30,755
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Post by Hiroshi Hase on Dec 13, 2007 7:22:50 GMT -5
Hogan's always done that, it doesn't mean he's going to actually press the guy over this head, just means he's going to pick him up and slam him.
And if fake wrestling actually gets you so upset to the point where you would wish harm upon someone, you probably do need to take a breather.
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Post by Asics Johnson on Dec 13, 2007 7:56:02 GMT -5
A simple problem with a simple solution.
.... Hulk Hogan >>>>>>> John Cena
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Post by Joker on Dec 13, 2007 8:10:30 GMT -5
He always does that when he fights a big guy. Check out the end of the 1991 Royal Rumble against Earthquake he does the gorilla press taunt and then bodyslams him.
When Hogan does that it means he's going to bodyslam the big opponent, nothing more.
I'm sure he could bodyslam the Great Khali, he managed to do it against the Big Show.
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Post by Mister Yummy on Dec 13, 2007 19:26:42 GMT -5
You can't complain about Hogan's punches having more effect than Cena's. In Kayfabe, hogan is much stronger than Cena, and he Punches much harder still. Moreover, he's taller, so the upward angle would have less negative effect on them. And if kayfabe doesn't count, the arguement is ridiculous anyway, as the punches were worked.
Also, that's Hogan's bodyslam signal, as many other have said, and not a signal for a Gorrilla Press Slam.
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Post by cuneo77 on Dec 13, 2007 23:24:03 GMT -5
god leave hulk alone ppl
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Post by RedSmile on Dec 14, 2007 0:30:38 GMT -5
I think spamming the boards with Anti-Hogan thread after Anti-Hogan thread is plenty absurd
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CosmicPool
Samurai Cop
May the power protect you
Posts: 2,381
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Post by CosmicPool on Dec 14, 2007 1:58:11 GMT -5
original poster, how dare you sir even imply that Hogan never lifted Andre over his head? He not only lifted him over his head but pressed him at least 10 times, spun him around, jumped up 5 feet and slammed him down shaking the entire arena. Andre's weight was slightly exaggerated, he was really only 9,500 pounds instead of 10,000 pounds, but you gotta exaggerate a little for story telling purposes.
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mysticalhamster
AC Slater
Hail to the king baby! Duke Nukem is back!!
Posts: 203
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Post by mysticalhamster on Dec 14, 2007 2:01:09 GMT -5
original poster, how dare you sir even imply that Hogan never lifted Andre over his head? He not only lifted him over his head but pressed him at least 10 times, spun him around, jumped up 5 feet and slammed him down shaking the entire arena. Andre's weight was slightly exaggerated, he was really only 9,500 pounds instead of 10,000 pounds, but you gotta exaggerate a little for story telling purposes. rofl! Now you are the first person to 'get' it! This is what I was aiming for! Eliaum, you win the first annual 'He got the joke' award! lol
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mysticalhamster
AC Slater
Hail to the king baby! Duke Nukem is back!!
Posts: 203
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Post by mysticalhamster on Dec 14, 2007 2:03:46 GMT -5
And for the record that gesture he makes, Hogan, IS calling for a Gorilla Press Slam. Hogan is just using it wrong, the official gesture for a big body slam involves a large 'scooping' gesture, not a flat 'pressing the sky' gesture. I have the official universal wrestling movement rule book right here. The gesture is for a gorilla press slam, but Hogan is using it for the wrong move.
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bradyfan
ALF
Dance girl dance!!!
Posts: 1,093
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Post by bradyfan on Dec 14, 2007 4:28:48 GMT -5
Did Hogan refuse to give you an autograph or something? Your trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill, and failing big time at it.
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Post by pathogen on Dec 14, 2007 9:37:18 GMT -5
Hogan is, quite simply, retarded!
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Post by Confused Mark Wahlberg on Dec 14, 2007 10:00:22 GMT -5
I really wanted this to be a thread about Hogan teasing a gorilla Don't give up hope on the dream just yet. Hogan does really need cash. "Hey, brother, who's the best poo flinger in the world? Your mama! HAHAHAHAHA"
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