Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2007 21:58:41 GMT -5
Why is G.I. Joe JBL's favorite toy line? Because they're REEEEEEEAL American Heroes! What fat, oily bird is a male stripper in WWE? Big Duck Johnson. How do you get Super Crazy, Rey Mysterio, Lillian Garcia, Chavo Guerrero and Melina out of the same Home Depot in five seconds? Get on the intercom and yell "iLA MIGRA!" Why did Christian Cage's plastic surgery career fail? Because he made his clients unprettier. Hmmm...not sure which one is the worst, but they're ALL dazzling candidates!
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 22, 2007 22:20:59 GMT -5
How do you get Super Crazy, Rey Mysterio, Lillian Garcia, Chavo Guerrero and Melina out of the same Home Depot in five seconds? Get on the intercom and yell "iLA MIGRA!" I know its just a joke, but that one doesn't really work, since Rey, Lillian and Chavo were all born inside the US and are all citizens. And even if they weren't, they'd all have work Visa's. Naw, just joshin'.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2007 22:25:53 GMT -5
How do you get Super Crazy, Rey Mysterio, Lillian Garcia, Chavo Guerrero and Melina out of the same Home Depot in five seconds? Get on the intercom and yell "iLA MIGRA!" I know its just a joke, but that one doesn't really work, since Rey, Lillian and Chavo were all born inside the US and are all citizens. And even if they weren't, they'd all have work Visa's. Add Melina in there too, but the entire point of the joke isn't IF they're actually from the U.S. or not. I betcha that 9 out of 10 marks think that most of them aren't from the U.S. (and that's part of why the joke does indeed work when I use it).
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Dec 22, 2007 22:26:42 GMT -5
I know its just a joke, but that one doesn't really work, since Rey, Lillian and Chavo were all born inside the US and are all citizens. And even if they weren't, they'd all have work Visa's. Add Melina in there too, but the entire point of the joke isn't IF they're actually from the U.S. or not. I betcha that 9 out of 10 marks think that most of them aren't from the U.S. (and that's part of why the joke does indeed work when I use it). Sadly, thats probably true.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2007 22:29:18 GMT -5
Add Melina in there too, but the entire point of the joke isn't IF they're actually from the U.S. or not. I betcha that 9 out of 10 marks think that most of them aren't from the U.S. (and that's part of why the joke does indeed work when I use it). Sadly, thats probably true. Yeah, but ignorance of the masses is one of the closest friends of a comedian. Do you know how many comedians would be out of careers if race-related jokes didn't exist?
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Post by viscera on Dec 22, 2007 23:02:44 GMT -5
Three man walk up to and find a magic lamp. They rub it and out pops a genie. He grants them each one wish. The first man looks up and says "Well, I'm unemployed, so I'd like a job in politics!" One second later, he's president. The next man walks up and says, he's also unemployed, he'd like a job in Science. Next minute, he's a rocket scientist. The last guy walks up and says " He too is unemployed and he'd like a job in Entertainment. Next minute, he's being Pedigreed.
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Post by ultimatekennedy on Dec 23, 2007 0:24:38 GMT -5
Who won the title from Triple H at WMXX? Well if you ask McMahon, it was nobody.
Why did the wrestlers name and hometown appear on the titantron for Lillian Garcia? Well, she would have written in on her hand but it was taken up by the Star Spangled Banner.
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Post by Lenny: Smooth like Keith Stone on Dec 23, 2007 0:37:24 GMT -5
Q: How many Lex Lugers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know!!!!
OK I can do better than that, let me try again:
Finlay, Bobby Lashley, and Mickie James were sitting together in the carriage of a train. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and since it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
There was a kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Mickie James and Finlay were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Lashley had his hand against his face since he had just been slapped there.
Lashley was thinking, "Finlay must have kissed Mickie and she tried to slap him. But she missed him and slapped me instead." Mickie was thinking, "Lashley must have tried to kiss me, but actually kissed Finlay and got slapped for it." And Finlay was thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap Lashley again!"
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Post by amsiraK on Dec 23, 2007 0:51:48 GMT -5
Q: How many Lex Lugers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know!!!! OK I can do better than that, let me try again: Finlay, Bobby Lashley, and Mickie James were sitting together in the carriage of a train. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and since it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. There was a kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Mickie James and Finlay were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Lashley had his hand against his face since he had just been slapped there. Lashley was thinking, "Finlay must have kissed Mickie and she tried to slap him. But she missed him and slapped me instead." Mickie was thinking, "Lashley must have tried to kiss me, but actually kissed Finlay and got slapped for it." And Finlay was thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap Lashley again!" ROFL!!!! Ok, that I like.
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Post by DeuceDominoMark on Dec 23, 2007 1:29:14 GMT -5
What did Tazz say when Brock was in a silo? Here comes the GRAIN! What did Carlito say when he grabbed a beer? This is Miller Lite! That's not Coors! Why does Triple H always get fired? He won't do the job. "LoL! Mule..."
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Post by Thank You Shawn on Dec 23, 2007 4:25:40 GMT -5
Q: How many Lita’s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, Lita will screw anything.
Why is it hard to find The Rock and Brock Lesnar action figures? A:Because they sold out
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Post by somedensefish on Dec 23, 2007 6:43:28 GMT -5
Not one of mine, it's actually Mick Foley's:
"What's the difference between me and Jack-In-the-Box?
-Jack-In-the-Box serves up a Jumbo Jack between two buns, I serve up Cactus Jack between Al Snow's buns."
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Dec 23, 2007 8:05:22 GMT -5
Q: Who did Rhino vote for in the 2000 election? A: GORE! GORE! GORE! I Lol'ed at that one. Nice.
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Evil Jan Otto
Don Corleone
Domo Arrigato, Evil Jan Otto
MWAHAHA!
Posts: 1,462
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Post by Evil Jan Otto on Dec 23, 2007 12:07:49 GMT -5
What's Scott Levy's favorite mint? Johnny Polos!
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Post by PTBartman on Dec 23, 2007 12:40:52 GMT -5
Why did Bret hate being married? Cos he kept getting screwed every night. THANK YOU I'M HERE ALL WEEK! What did Brett do while his wife was out of town? Brett screwed Brett.
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Post by PTBartman on Dec 23, 2007 12:48:43 GMT -5
Q: How many Lex Lugers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know!!!! OK I can do better than that, let me try again: Finlay, Bobby Lashley, and Mickie James were sitting together in the carriage of a train. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and since it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. There was a kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Mickie James and Finlay were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Lashley had his hand against his face since he had just been slapped there. Lashley was thinking, "Finlay must have kissed Mickie and she tried to slap him. But she missed him and slapped me instead." Mickie was thinking, "Lashley must have tried to kiss me, but actually kissed Finlay and got slapped for it." And Finlay was thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap Lashley again!"
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Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Dec 23, 2007 12:53:29 GMT -5
Q: How many Lex Lugers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know!!!! OK I can do better than that, let me try again: Finlay, Bobby Lashley, and Mickie James were sitting together in the carriage of a train. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and since it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. There was a kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Mickie James and Finlay were sitting as if nothing had happened, and Lashley had his hand against his face since he had just been slapped there. Lashley was thinking, "Finlay must have kissed Mickie and she tried to slap him. But she missed him and slapped me instead." Mickie was thinking, "Lashley must have tried to kiss me, but actually kissed Finlay and got slapped for it." And Finlay was thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap Lashley again!" And now Lenny's my hero for the day.
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Post by "Sweet & Sour" ImSoFudginGreat on Dec 23, 2007 15:32:00 GMT -5
Whats the difference between Edge and Micheal Jackson??
Edge is World Heavyweight Champion and Micheal Jackson touches kids.
OK, now that was bad, sorry.
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celtic8004
Mike the Goon
Here we go Celtics here we go (clap clap)
Posts: 46
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Post by celtic8004 on Dec 23, 2007 15:32:39 GMT -5
Here is one I heard a while back.
If Triple H is the game, then what does that make Steph? The box he came in.
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damna
Don Corleone
Sorry Anderson Silva, but Fedor is still number 1!
Posts: 1,819
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Post by damna on Dec 23, 2007 16:43:54 GMT -5
Math Problem: 7-UP minus Elijah Burke= A: 3-UP Q: Maria was driving to pick up Santino at the airport, she was on the freeway and right before she got there she made a sudden U-Turn, went home, and never picked up Santino. Why did she do that? A: She saw a sign that said "Airport Left" Try the veal......
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