Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Sept 3, 2008 19:43:15 GMT -5
Mean Gene Okerlund: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is not for the faint of heart. The producers had to clear several channels of the FCC in order to get this match cleared for any type of broadcast. And now, the channels have been cleared and the match is available to air. This match took place on August 6th, 2008 and it featured Sigma in what would have appeared to be a 1 on 3 handicap match between “The Killionaire” Richard Clay, Christopher Indigo, and the leader of Minipax, Joe One. Here’s the tape in its entirety.
Tony Schiavone: Well, Jesse this is it. The match that everyone’s been waiting for: Sigma and his mystery partners taking on his former teammates in Minipax. Now we don’t know who Sigma’s partners are as of yet, but Minipax has decided to go out with Joe One, Christopher Indigo and Richard Clay. So, Minipax is all prepared, but what about Sigma and his not announcing of his tag partners?
Jesse Ventura: Well, Sigma is playing his mind games against One and they seem to be working. As we saw before the show, he was more concerned with Vile’s upcoming battle with D’Zee at the next PPV. Sigma is giving his protégé his time and devotion to win some gold.
Tony Schiavone: That’s understand….Wait. We have a big development backstage, let’s go to the back and see what’s going on.
*Cuts to the back to a busted locker room with Christopher Indigo all beaten down and battered*
Jesse Ventura: That’s Christopher Indigo and it looks like he’s badly hurt. Sigma must have gotten to Indigo before Minipax came and got him.
Tony Schiavone: Well, Minipax has found him and are trying to lift him up, but he just comes falling down. He’s in no condition to wrestle.
Richard Clay: DAMMIT! We’re now down to a 2 vs. 1 match, One. Indigo is too hurt to wrestle.
Joe One: Calm down, Mr. Clay. Mr. Williams won’t have anybody as his partners. He’s already told Vile to not partake in this match, yet that will be his undoing. Minipax is the Past, the Present and the future. He won’t stand a chance. Let’s go.
Richard Clay: Right, boss.
*Back to the announce position*
Tony Schiavone: Well, that evens things up for Sigma’s side. He’s now only got a 2 on 1 fight to deal with, provided that he doesn’t have partners.
Jesse Ventura: If I know Sigma, he’s got his partners somewhere.
Tony Schiavone: Well, with that in mind. It’s time for one of the biggest matches in EWT history. Let’s go down to the ring and Gary Michael Capetta.
*Bell Rings*
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is a 6-man Tag Team attraction, scheduled for one fall.
*”Shout” by Tears for Fears hits, crowd boos*
GMC: Introducing first, from Cash Mountain, Richard Clay and from Airstrip One, Joe One. They are known as Minipax.
Tony Schiavone: Minipax is walking out here with a purpose. They see Sigma as someone who needs to be put down and here they are.
Jesse Ventura: Right, but they are down 1 person. Indigo is still hurt and they are by themselves. Lord knows where Midnight Mystery is.
Tony Schiavone: I don’t know where he is either, and now One has the stick.
Joe One: Mr. Williams, the games end here. Taking out Christopher Indigo while he’s in the back is one thing. But now, you have to come and face your fate. That fate is your untimely demise from EWT. You will rue the day you had crossed Minipax.
*Sigma then comes out and the crowd is cheering a bit*
Sigma: Oh, wah, wah, wah. Enough with your monotonous, boring, and uninspiring words of wis-dumb, it’s time for us to settle this like men. You’re the one who proposed the six-man, so I accepted your challenge. Oh, and I had nothing to do with Indigo’s “accident”.
Clay: Yeah, Right. You beat him down so you wouldn’t have to face off against all 3 of us and you know it!
Sigma: Easy, there. I didn’t and neither did my partners. I think you remember them well. They are the most dominant team ever in EWT history.
One: I know you’re not talking about TJT. Aside from them, who else would you consider, dominant? Or should I say, stupid enough to take you on as a tag partner.
Sigma: Glad you asked. Also, once I utter the names, you’ll be so far gone you wouldn’t believe it. Ladies and gentlemen, my tag team partners…..ELITE PERFECTION!
*Gun by Gus Gus hits, crowd is stunned*
Tony Schiavone: Woah, it’s Elite Perfection. How did Sigma pull off this coo?
Jesse Ventura: I don’t know, but One is stunned and Clay is very upset. Now, the score is 3 vs. 2 in favor of Sigma.
Tony Schiavone: That could spell disaster as there they are and chance has the stick.
Chance: Hey Smallpox...you have messed with the wrong young man, for you see... he is now being backed personally by myself and Ratings here. Which means for you fools, that any chance you have of winning has been completely eradicated. If I were you Joseph, I'd adjust that jumpsuit of mine and runs for the hills, before you're forced to feel our unparalleled skill in the ring. Otherwise, I'm afraid that everyone here tonight will witness the final hour of your little social club's existance.
Ratings: Tonight, the world will bear witness to an event rarely seen in modern times. They will see the fall of an Empire; the demise of an establishment; the demise of Minipax. Joe One, you had power at one time, but your greed has led you to your own personal downfall. As time goes by, those who stand atop of the world are bound to trip under their own footing and throw themselves to the bottom of the ladder. Except for us; we... are the exception. Tonight, Minipax will perish and the age of Elite Perfection will begin.
*Elite Perfection & Sigma charge the ring*
Tony Schiavone: And there they go to the ring, and now we got a big old fashioned brawl on our hands.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma going after One and Elite Perfection going after Clay in a double team. One is being treated to rights and lefts by Sigma, while Ratings and Chance are kicking the tar out of Clay.
Tony Schiavone: Comeuppance is coming to the Minipax team as One is thrown to the other side of the ring and Sigma nails him with a hard clothesline to the outside.
Jesse Ventura: Elite Perfection doing the same thing to Clay as the both lift him and throw him on top of One.
Tony Schiavone: The crowd is electric to see Minipax being taken down.
(Bell Rings)
The bell rings, signaling the start of the match. Ratings and Joe One are left in the ring as Richard Clay, Sigma and Chance Confidence take their places on the ring aprons near their assigned ring corners. A focused Joe One glares at a somewhat confident Ratings who flashes a smirk at his opponent across the ring. The two size each other up as the approach the center. They prepare for a grapple, but as One lunges at Ratings, the Palm Springs Playboy ducks the attempt and chuckles at his opponent as he turns around. Joe remains converged on the match at hand as he and Ratings close in for another grapple. Much like the first time, Ratings uses his speed to dodge his opponent again and like before, taunts Joe One as he displays his light footwork to the fans who voice their distaste with jeers and boos. Chance applauds his associate’s ability, while Sigma and Joe share a brief glare before Joe returns his attention back to Ratings.
Tony Schiavone: Man, if looks can kill, both of them would be dead.
Jesse Ventura: This Rivalry has gone further than just destroying an office and a person. One wants Sigma gone in the worst possible way.
Tony Schiavone: Ratings jukes and jives, but One is very focused on Sigma.
Jesse Ventura: He’s planning something I know it.
For the third time in the opening moments of the match, Joe and Ratings go for a grapple. Ratings tries to dodge Joe’s grapple attempt for a third time, only this time however, Joe manages grabs Ratings by his blonde locks and drags him to the nearest ring corner. One shoves Ratings back first into the turnbuckles and begins to unleash some stiff rights to his self-proclaimed “flawlessly handsome” face of the recent EWT returnee. With Ratings knocked into a stupor, Joe One whips Ratings across the ring into the top right ring corner, the force of impact causes Ratings to ricochet off the turnbuckles and come out stumbling towards a charging Joe One who connects with a huge clothesline. With Ratings on the ground in a daze, One seizes the opportunity to add some payback against Sigma by charging at him and knocking him off the ring apron with a stiff forearm to the face. Sigma holds his mouth, blood trickling down his chin from his mouth; all the while Joe One connects with a back elbow to the jaw on Chance Confidence, dazing the British elitist. This surprise attack by Joe One however enabled Ratings to briefly recover and he is able attack Joe One from behind with a series of forearms.
Tony Schiavone: And there it is, Sigma gets hit hard by One. And he’s bleeding.
Jesse Ventura: Little measure of revenge and he got Chance with a nice elbow to the head dazing him.
Tony Schiavone: Yes, and Ratings is up and there he is from behind with a forearm, and another one, and another one.
After Ratings nails One with the forearms, One heads to a neutral corner and Ratings goes after One with hard punches to the face. Ratings goes for an Irish whip, but One reverses and Ratings goes to the opposite corner, giving One enough time to tag in Clay. Ratings responds by getting out of the way and tagging in Chance. Chance enters and him and “the Killionaire” hook up and Chance gets Clay into a front face lock. Clay pushes Chance to the ropes and Chance comes back with a dropkick. Clay rises up and gets another dropkick from Chance. Chance then goes for the pinfall.
Ref: 1…..One , OUT!
Tony Schiavone: And One comes in and breaks up the pin rather quickly.
Jesse Ventura: One doesn’t want to lose this match. Knowing that Sigma outwitted One would haunt him for days. Especially with Elite Perfection on his side.
Clay gets back up, and Chance slings him to the corner. Chance charges and hits him with a stiff clothesline. Chance then tags in Sigma. Sigma comes in and backs Clay to the corner and just lays some stiff kicks to the midsection. Afterwards, Clay stumbles off and Sigma picks him up and gives him a massive Vertical Suplex down to the mat below. Sigma lifts Clay back up but Clay rakes Sigma in the eyes and gives him a knee to the midsection and takes Sigma back to the opposite corner and tags in One. One eagerly comes in and starts punching away at Sigma’s face. The ref backs him away and Clay starts to choke out Sigma with the tag rope. Clay lets him go after awhile, and when Sigma gets out, One nails Sigma with a stiff clothesline and sends Sigma clear out to the outside. One follows suit and starts to pull up the padding from outside of the ring, exposing the concrete floor.
Tony Schiavone: One pulled up the mats on the outside and has that evil glint in his eye.
Jesse Ventura: He wants to take out Sigma for good. That’s what this exposing of the mat is for. Driving Sigma’s head to that concrete could put him out for good.
One has Sigma in position to deliver a Piledriver to the concrete below, but Sigma counters and sends One to the mats that he pulled up. Sigma pulls one back into the ring and takes him to his corner. Sigma tags in Chance Confidence and Chance lays into One with kicks, punches and chops. Chance flings One across the ring and One gets out of Chance’s attempted splash. One tags back in Clay. Clay gives Chance a bodyslam and goes up to the second rope and hits a knee-drop. Clay goes for the pin.
Ref: 1….2no, foot on the rope.
Tony Schiavone: Chance has his foot on the rope to break the pinning predictament.
Jesse Ventura: Good ring psychology by Chance. He knew where he was at and how to get out of that position quickly and keep himself fresh.
Tony Schiavone: Clay seems to be a bit perturbed, but goes after him again with some stomps to the sides and back.
Clay picks up Chance and delivers an Irish Whip to the ropes. Chance reverses and sends Clay to the outside, but lands on the ring apron. Clay decides to brag about it a bit, but then Chance comes flying off the ropes, jumps off of the bottom rope and catches Richard Clay off guard and hits what could be the best looking Confidence Breaker of all time onto the concrete below. Chance gets up, but Clay isn’t moving. 20 seconds pass and Clay isn’t moving a centimeter. The ref throws up the X sign.
Tony Schiavone: Clay to the outside, but manages to stay onto the apron. But here comes Chance in full force AND CONFIDENCE BREAKER TO THE OUTSIDE ONTO THE CONCRETE BELOW!!!
Jesse Ventura: That move may have just sealed this match.
Tony Schiavone: Clay isn’t moving. Clay is out cold. The ref throws up the sign for the EMT’s to arrive and here they come to the ring. The match has been halted for the time being.
Jesse Ventura: Let’s see what happened again. Richard Clay was on the apron and Chance Confidence hits him with his Confidence Breaker onto the concrete. Tony, if you can see closely, the top of Clay’s head as soon as it hits the concrete twitches a bit.
Tony Schiavone: So, we could be looking at a badly broken neck?
Jesse Ventura: Quite possibly so. Now we got a representative from EWT going to the ring to talk to the ref and Gary Capetta.
Tony Schiavone: I wonder what ruling will be taking place. The Ring Crew is putting the mat back together again, so who knows what will happen.
Jesse Ventura: Worst case scenario for both teams is for it to end like this. There’s not a solid conclusion and would make them hate each other more.
Tony Schiavone: That may be the case, but the official has talked to the ref and Gary Cappeta and Gary Capetta has the microphone.
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, by order of EWT president Toom E. Dangerously, the match has been ordered to continue as a 3 on 1 handicap match. There must be a clear decision in this contest.
Tony Schiavone: So, the match will continue, but One is all alone out there.
Jesse Ventura: This was his worst case scenario. One now has to take on Ratings, Chance Confidence and Sigma all by himself.
Chance slips back into the ring and flashes a huge smirk, motioning cockily back at One, who gives the closest thing he can to a look of anger, the confident Englishman walking back over to his corner of the ring and tagging in Sigma, who steps into the ring, giving a rather serious look himself, as he steps into the ring, cracking his knuckles and stomping forward. One steps forward, then charges in, tackling Sigma to the ground, now pounding away at his face with a series of fists, as Sigma grimaces slightly from this hail of punches, quickly guarding himself and both Chance and Ratings charge into the ring, stomping viciously away across the form of One, who immediately becomes much less fierce, the referee quickly shooing them back out of the ring, but that's all Sigma needs, as he shoves One off of him, quickly pulling him to his feet, grabbing him around the neck, and spiking him viciously into the mat with an Evenflow DDT! One practically lands in a headstand, before flopping back to the mat, as Sigma drops down, making a cover.
Ref: 1....2.....
Tony Schiavone: One gets back up at 2. He doesn’t want to lose this one.
Jesse Ventura: One is finally all by himself, which is what these three were planning the entire time. They knew they wanted to single out One to get back at him, and now it’s here.
As One manages to kick out, as Sigma looks down at him with annoyance, rising back up and delivering a vicious knee drop across the face, before quickly yanking him back up, then charging forward and driving him back against the turnbuckle in his corner of the ring, reaching over now to tag in Ratings, who vaults inside, then quickly begins to unload on One with a quick series of kicks, Sigma aiding him with some equally nasty chops, as Chance simply reaches around and grasps One by the neck, holding him still, the crowd booing angrily at this, as eventually Ratings tugs One back out of the corner, then pulling him into a knee to the gut, hunching him over, as he quickly bounces off the ropes, then coming back with an instant Noble Rush, dropping One back to the mat, grasping further at his neck, Ratings quickly getting back up and stomping down across the throat, cockily twisting his boot across, as One cringes in pain, before Ratings tags back out to Chance, who quickly vaults into the ring himself, Ratings yanking the Minipax leader back to his feet, only to get an elbow to the side of the head, sending him stumbling back, as he lunges at Chance, nailing him with a forearm to the face, sending him stumbling back into the turnbuckle, before turning around and swinging at Sigma, who quickly hops down off the apron, shaking his head with a smirk, as One looks out towards the outside, looking absolutely pissed, until Rating and Chance attack him from behind once again, delivering a series of vicious clubs across the back of the neck, turning him around, as the two men grab and hit him with a double snap suplex! He grasps at his back as they both then bounce off the ropes, catching him in a sandwich low dropkick, One rolling further along the mat in pain at this, as Chance yanks him back to his feet, before leaping up with a perfect dropsault, hitting one right between the eyes! He groans, stumbling back and falling to the mat, clutching at his face, as Chance rubs his hands together, then charges forward, springing atop the top turnbuckle, waiting for One to rise, then leaping off with a flying leg lariat, catching him right in the neck and driving him down to the mat again! The crowd boos, as Chance presses his forearm across the neck, making a cover himself.
Ref: 1.....2.......
Tony Schiavone: And once again, One doesn’t give up. He’s still in there, fighting.
Jesse Ventura: That’s all he can do now, hopefully survive this onslaught and catch one of these three napping. However, they seem to be all firing on all cylinders
But One gets the shoulder up. Chance simply pulls him back up, not too annoyed with this, as he grabs and whips One back into the turnbuckle, before backing up himself, rubbing his hands together, than charging forward with his Ridiculous, Stupendous, Quite Amazing Flipping Stringer Splash, only for One to get a boot up, catching him in mid move and sending him back down to the mat! One groans, stumbling forward and quickly crawling back towards his corner, perhaps out of instinct. Chance meanwhile rubs his head, getting back to his feet slowly, as One has almost made it to that corner of the ring. Chance however quickly charges after, stopping him in his tracks with a legdrop across the back of the neck! One gasps in pain, Chance harshly yanking him back off the mat, then pulling him forward by the head, battering him with a series of quick European Uppercuts, staggering him back against the ropes with ease, as he quickly whips him off, then charges after, catching him as he comes back with a spinning wheel kick to the face, sending him plummeting back to the mat! One rolls along the mat, grasping again at his face, as Chance quickly drags him back over towards his allies, tagging back to Ratings, who quickly ascends the top turnbuckle, Chance meanwhile pulling One to his feet, then back down across his knee for a backbreaker! Ratings the follows up, leaping off with a leg drop across the throat, as One gasps for air, Chance shoving him off, as Ratings quickly rolls him over, hooking the leg.
Ref: 1.....2.......3
Tony Schiavone: He…NO! One barely gets the rope in time. Oh man, was that close.
Jesse Ventura: That would have stopped any other match right there, but One seems determined not to let Sigma get the best of him. He knows that if Sigma beats him at his own game, then he might as well give up.
Ratings looks on with shock at this, as he angrily pounds the mat, Sigma and Chance not looking too pleased either, One seeming desperate to hold on in order to protect the name of Minipax. Ratings yanks him to his feet once again , shoving him back against the turnbuckle, as he rears back himself, then does a front flip, leaping forward and transitioning into a Shining Wizard, nailing One right in the face! He groans, slumping back down to the mat, as Ratings cockily scrapes his boot across the face of One, before bouncing off the ropes, coming back with a low dropkick to the face! One gasps in pain, Ratings reaching down and pulling him back out of the corner, before tagging back out to Sigma, who hoists One up to his feet, signaling for the end, quickly dragging him to the center, then setting him up for the Sigma Suplex! He hoists One up, but he manages to block it with a foot! Sigma looks on in anger, trying to pull him up again and again, but one refuses to budge, before suddenly, he manages to counter, taking Sigma into the First Lightning! Chance and Ratings both look on in shock as Sigma bounces off the mat, groaning in pain, as One pants slightly, now out of pure desperation crawling towards his ring corner. However, while he does so, Christopher Indigo starts running down towards the ring, the crowd cheering a bit for this! One moves his body along the mat as quickly as he can, Indigo hopping onto the apron and reaching out, as One lunges out and makes the tag!
Tony Schiavone: IT’S INDIGO! CHRISTOPHER INDIGO IS HERE!
Jesse Ventura: This could spell disaster for Sigma and Elite Perfection. The odds have evened out again. No telling what could happen.
Tony Schiavone: he’s running to the ring and up to the apron. He’s got the tag. He’s in the match.
Jesse Ventura: Let the fireworks begin.
Indigo quickly runs into the ring, as One slowly stands on the apron, Indigo charging right at a rising Sigma, aiming a big boot, as Sigma looks on in horror, only for Indigo to miss completely, bouncing back off the ropes and nailing One instead with this big boot, sending him crashing down to the outside! The crowd boos angrily, as Indigo rolls quickly to the outside, Sigma flashing a huge sneer now, as Ratings and Chance slip into the ring as well, Indigo quickly rolling One back into the ring, then following in after, grabbing and connecting with the Vision of Indigo! One crashes to the mat, as the referee has had enough.
Tony Schiavone: What the…
Jesse Ventura: Indigo just went after One instead of Sigma. It’s a double cross!
Tony Schiavone: The crowd is not happy at this result. They wanted a clean finish to this match, and they aren’t getting it. One is thrown back into the ring and given the Vision of Indigo.
Ref: That does it! Ring the bell!
Jesse Ventura: Referee calling for the bell here.
Tony Schiavone: It will be a disqualification on Sigma and Elite Perfection.
Indeed the bell sounds, as Indigo, Sigma, Chance, and Ratings all begin stomping viciously away at One on the mat, the crowd showering them with a plethora of heat from the sound of things, as One is completely helpless to do anything about it. The four men then pull him back to his feet, as Sigma pulls him forward, then sets him up, before dropping him with his own finisher, the 101! One crashes to the mat, now completely motionless, as Indigo bends down and smirks, poking One's prone body with a boot, before rising back up, just in time to get taken down with the Finale! The crowd boos again, as Ratings looks down at him with disgust, as Sigma, Chance, and he all start stomping across his body as well, the booing getting even louder, as Indigo soon becomes quite motionless himself. Sigma then quickly exits the ring, snatching a microphone away from the announcer and rolling back into the ring.
Tony Schiavone: After all of that beatdown, Sigma’s got the stick.
Sigma: Well, well, well. It’s just as I intended it to be. You pushed me into this corner, so I decided to get help, and look who eagerly stepped up. You see One, not everybody fears you and your little club of misfits. Let’s see here. One, Indigo, Clay is on his way to the retirement home, and now where’s that big oaf. *looks at Toomitron* Ah, there he is.
After these words, the Toomitron immediately lights up, as we see the masked duo of Vile and Platinum Punisher charge in from both sides, delivering a double big boot to the head of Midnight Mystery, sending him crashing down to the ground, as these two then begins viciously punching away at his own prone body, the heat now at nearly unfathomable proportions, the crowd absolutely pissed at everyone involved in this mass beat down. Sigma simply looks towards the Toomitron and folds his arms, as the screen shuts off once again.
Sigma: And that takes care of idiot number 4. Minipax is now officially dead. You people should be grateful. No longer will you have to hear that boring, insipid, malcontent deliver his god-awful promos and worry about his “Nine Orders”. By the way, One. You remember the Virus scenario. Yeah, where you thought he’d be the one to destroy Minipax internally? Well, you’re dead wrong. It was I that intended to destroy Minipax from the inside. With Minipax out of the way, nothing can stop us from getting back what is rightfully ours: All of the EWT Titles. We are the Present and the Future of EWT, for there is no force greater than Elite Perfection.
With that, Queen's Princes of the Universe starts up again, as Chance and Ratings both raise Sigma's arm, displaying this absolute victory, as the three of them bask in this monumental heat, before they exit the ring, leaving behind the nearly lifeless bodies of One and Indigo, as almost immediately, a group of EMTs pour out, slipping into the ring and checking on both these men's vital signs, as the new trio of Sigma, Ratings, and Chance all head to the back in triumph, arms raised high, with a quite a satisfied look on each of their faces.
We quickly face to commercial.
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Post by hardcorehensley on Sept 3, 2008 21:21:22 GMT -5
"Hit Em High, Hit Em Low" plays.
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome YOUR EWT Ox Division Champion...Hardcore Hensley!
Joey Styles: The champ is here, folks!
Hensley makes his way to the ring with his belt hanging from around his neck. He slides in, his fans cheering away, and accepts Lillian's microphone. He goes to speak, but halts, seemingly having become lost for words.
Styles: Cat gotcha tongue, Hardcore.
Hensley: Ah-
He cuts himself off, covering his mouth then glancing around the arena. His rabid followers get louder and louder.
Hensley: I-
Again, he pauses, lowering his head in what appears to be deep thought. The crowd is on their heels now.
Hensley: You know what, just...here.
He turns everybody's attention to the ToomiTron where a video begins. It highlights his recent title defense against Poe Moe Foe, concluding with Foe's fifty foot-plus fall from the top of the big screen. A small bit of Hensley celebrating is shown before returning to the ring. Hensley nods his head at the footage while a "You're Hardcore!" chant erupts. That brings a smirk across his face, and he lifts his head back up.
Styles: Gruesome, raw stuff right there for our viewers, just goes to show you what lengths these wrestlers are willing to endure at the price of victory.
Hensley: At No Rest For The Wicked, I did exactly what I said I was gonna do. Exactly what I said was gonna happen, happened. It was either gonna be me, or it was gonna be Foe, and obviously...it wasn't me.
His fans respond favorably, but he puts up a hand, unfinished.
Hensley: I killed him. Yeah, that's right. I did it, and I'd do it again too!
He starts pacing around, soaking everything in.
Hensley: Almost five months, for almost five months, I had to deal with that monkey on my back. That pissed off motherf***er! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe I said something not too long ago. I believe, it was along the lines of having something to do with the EWT Heavyweight Championship. Now, at the Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble, I won it. I don't give a damn what they say, until they told me I had to go one on one with Dave Davies, I was The Man! Of course, things didn't quite turn out my way. I had Foe to deal with, plus I already had a championship to carry. I guess you could say it was just wrong place, wrong time. Nevertheless, now is my time! My time concerns me, the EWT Heavyweight Championship, and anybody that's stupid enough to be in my way of it! Mark my words, quote em, Hardcore Hensley will be the next EWT Heavyweight Champion. That's not the bottom line, and it won't be because I said so...
He looks around at his audience, who have now fallen dead silent.
Hensley: It'll be because I am The Man. It'll be because I am the most gifted athlete in EWT. It'll be because I at the top of the ladder, the cage, the scaffold. There ain't anybody above me except for God himself, and I don't believe we have him under contract.
He stops for his slight jest, hanging his head again. He gazes into the air, letting out a big sigh then jerks a nearby cameraman over to him for a closeup.
Hensley: It'll be because I am The Man...
He throws the cameraman down with a sharp glare. "Hit Em High, Hit Em Low" replays as he drops his mic, and retires to the back.
Styles: There you have it. You've heard it here from Hardcore Hensley himself, he shall be the next EWT Heavyweight Champion, or...The Man.
A history of the EWT Heavyweight Championship promo runs next.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Sept 5, 2008 22:52:28 GMT -5
*The arena is empty. Toom E Dangerously is walking through the empty chairs. He is holding the EWT Toolshed Championship. He heads towards the rings, climbing over the barricade. As he's walking in the ringside area, he stops to whisper something to an EWT Employee. The employee runs off as Toom E Dangerously climbs into the ring. He lays the championship belt down in the center of the ring as the camera zooms in on his face.*
This past week, we were supposed to see this belt defended in the first ever Barbed Wire Ladder Match. That did not happen.
This past week, Sean McCann, Bullz-I, & Zeero missed their shot at their first EWT Title Reign. Because of the greed of one man. Sure, I could have allowed the 3 of them to go at it...but what for? There was really nothing to prove if the defending champion was not there.
So instead, I did was was right. What was right for you, the fans. And what was right for them, the wrestlers. You see, I have a much better way for a new EWT Toolshed Champion to be crowned.
How, you might ask? Let me show you something that happened back in 1985...a Chapter of Wrestling History, if you will.
You see that's what we call a Bunkhouse Stampede. And to win, you had to survive.
Well, here in EWT on September 28th, 2008...we bring that tradition to EWT live on pay per view. An event I like to call Massacre.
An open contract is set up as we speak. And those who sign that contract will vie for the EWT Toolshed Championship in a Bunkhouse Stampede. The last person standing will be the new EWT Toolshed Champion.
Bring any weapons you wish. Fans can bring weapons, as well.
*The camera zooms out from Toom E Dangerously as we see barbed wire wrapped around the ropes.*
Oh, did I forget to mention the barbed wire ropes?
*Cut to a graphic for Massacre.*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Sept 6, 2008 15:25:15 GMT -5
*Bell Rings*
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall.
*Super Eric’s Theme Plays, crowd cheers*
GMC: From the City Of Heroes, representing the Prince Justice Brotherhood, Super Eric.
Tony Schiavone: Super Eric is here and he is looking to save the day from Sigma, who’s seen quite a change in him recently.
Jesse Ventura: In his last match, he and Elite Perfection have dominated the entire stable of Minipax. Ever since the brutal beat down, no one has seen Joe One since.
Tony Schiavone: Super Eric wants to stop Sigma’s reign of terror.
*Queen’s Princes of the Universe hits, crowd boos*
GMC: And his opponent, from Tacoma, Washington. He weighs in at 271 pounds…SIGMA!
Tony Schiavone: Quite the reaction for Sigma after that brutal encounter with Joe One & Minipax. But he came up on top.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma was quite dangerous in that match. Plus, his game plan was played to perfection. Him, Ratings and Chance Confidence knew what they were doing and took full advantage of a situation.
Tony Schiavone: That’s right. It looks like One’s done and the match is starting.
*Bell Rings*
Tony Schiavone: And the action commences. Eric poses, but Sigma just lays him out with a big boot.
Jesse Ventura: Shows what posing in front of Sigma will do to you. Eric tries to get up, but Sigma brings him down again with an elbow drop.
Tony Schiavone: It’s kind of weird how Sigma usually finesses his way through matches but he’s just dominating people over the past few weeks. As he lifts up Super Eric and brings him down with a body slam.
Jesse Ventura: And a nice Elbow to the stomach of the superhero. Sigma calling for the end of the match right now.
Tony Schiavone: Wouldn’t surprise me. Sigma lifts Super Eric up, has it hooked and brings him down with the Sigma Suplex. But, he’s lifting him back up and twisting it and turns it into a Fisherman’s Suplex. The Ref has the count.
Ref: 1….2……….3!
Jesse Ventura: That’s it. The match is over and Sigma picks up another victory.
Tony Schiavone: Sigma keeps on rolling, but what’s this?
Jesse Ventura: Shark Boy and Curry Man are coming down and complaining to the ref that Sigma had the ropes. But it was clear to us that he had the leg hooked and wrapped. Notice on the replay that Sigma has the leg and neck hooked. Nowhere near a rope, thus the Prince Justice Brotherhood is blowing smoke. Sigma is your winner.
Tony Schiavone: They are still complaining, but Sigma has had enough and goes after both of them. Sigma flings Shark Boy to the ropes and throws him over the top rope. He’s got Curry Man in his grasp. Kicks him in the stomach, and gives him a big massive power bomb. The Prince Justice Brotherhood is demolished, and Sigma is standing tall.
Jesse Ventura: Uh, Tony. Is the Toomitron supposed to be snowy?
Tony Schiavone: Something is going on here fans.
*As the Toomitron snows, a picture comes through; Joe One is seen in a bright room. He sits in a chair straightly.*
One: Hello, Mr. Williams. It seems that the apprentice is trying to overtake the master. Let me make something clear: I am no ordinary master. I am THE master. I have spat in the face of God, laughed in the face of Death, and told the dark lord where to stick it. I am the Nirvana of Violence.
And now, you, Mr. Williams, think you can take my place? No person can. One has had to have seen the eternity of mankind with their own eyes before replacing me. One has to be able to do unspeakable things with clean thoughts.
You know this, but I will say it again: I have never lost a match. Never. Once. And you are sorely mistaken if you think you can beat me fairly. I know that you'd want to get your cohorts in EP. That's why I've requested Mr. Dangerously to have the match performed in a steel cage. That way, none of your rebellious brothers can stop me from getting you out of the EWT. Because, Mr. Williams, it is not only a steel cage match, but also a match where the loser, you, must leave the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation. It is only fitting that I was the man to give you power, and that I am the man to take it away from you. I shall see you in the ring.
*commercial break*
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Post by teamireland on Sept 7, 2008 17:40:37 GMT -5
*Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" begins playing & the crowd are readying themselves to hurl trash at the wrestlers about to enter. Coach O'Hare walks out first, proudly waving his Tricolour wrapped Hurley as he's closely followed by Aidan, Maeve, Shane & Sean. Aidan is still showing the effects of his match with Dave Davies as his head is stitched & has a large patch of gauze on it. O'Hare is dressed in his leather jacket, Team ireland shirt, flat-cap & jeans, the rest are dressed in Team Ireland shirts & jeans.* Toni "T.G." Garcya: Ladies & gentlemen, please welcome at this time, TEAM IRELAND!!! *The Green, White & Gold pyro explodes behind the five Team Ireland members as all raise their arms in the air. O'Hare stretches the Tricolour out as far as he can. The fivesome continue to make their way on down to the ring as the crowd continues to boo them vociferously. O'Hare sits on the ropes & holds them open for Maeve, Sean shoos him away & holds them open for her instead. She gives him a look of disgust & steps in anyway. The four wrestlers ascend the ringposts to pose for the crowd as O'Hare stands in the centre of the ring waving the Tricolour & the music fades out. O'Hare takes a mic from "T.G.".* O'Hare: Hell of a night, eh? We had the dramatic return of "The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone! *O'Hare points to Shane with the Hurley as Shane holds his arms in the air to more boos.* O'Hare: We had our Maeve getting a step closer to glory by becoming #1 contender for the EWT GND Championship! *Again, O'Hare points with the Hurley as Maeve stands with her hands on her hips with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.* O'Hare: We, unfortunately, had one match cancelled & Sean was robbed of the chance to get the Toolshed Title. *Sean shrugs & looks around for a bit of sympathy.* O'Hare: And another friggin' robbery when that man there, the Captain of Team Ireland, Aidan Donnelly was cheated out of the EWT World Heavyweight Championship by the blatant interference of Dave Davies' unscrupulous associates, The Nyrds! *The crowd cheers at the mention of Dave Davies & The Nyrds.* Nick Russ: I seem to remember that there was some other interference first, namely from Sean McCann & Maeve O'Hare! O'Hare: Sadly, it seems as though Dave Davies is too cowardly to defend his title fairly... or even to show up here tonight. But I digress, Sean has something to say there, don't ya, son? *O'Hare hands the mic to his Sean.* Sean: Aye, look, I've been waiting for an opportunity to get my hands on some EWT gold this ages & that arsehole Valentine didn't even have the dignity to show up to drop the title to me like a man (& there's no doubt I would have won it). That's why I'm officially announcing my entrance into the Barbed Wire Bunkhouse Stampede at Massacre. I'm going to get my chance to win the title that was denied me at No Rest For The Wicked & prove to everyone that if that match had gone ahead, you'd have a new EWT Toolshed Champion on your hands. One ready to defend the title & show it off to all the birds I could, so's I could get some action. *The crowd boos Sean's announcement. Sean tosses the mic back to O'Hare.* O'Hare: Excellent, son, excellent. But I say we stack things a wee bit more in Team Ireland's favour so, Shane... You're in there too. With a former Toolshed Champ on your side there, we're guaranteed a victory. Aidan: Hould on, what about me here? O'Hare: You have to keep concentrating on that title that Dave Davies has fastened around his expanding waistline. We find some way of getting rid of The Nyrds & then we can get that belt off him too. Now, our Maeve has something she'd like to say, don't ya, love? *O'Hare hands the mic to Maeve.* Maeve: Now poor wee Tiffany is gone, it seems that Liam will have some company up in that hospital as he waits to come back. But now, D'Zee needs to watch out. I am officially the #1 contender for that GND Championship. There's no woman in EWT that is as strong, fast or as technically sound as me. Just like the Warrior Queen for whom I was named, I'm ready to conquer this fed. Tiffany was a mild distraction to allow me to showcase what I'm capable of. D'Zee, if you were paying much attention to that match, you'll know what's coming your way soon. See, Liam & got it & Tiffany got it so... *Suddenly, a very familiar drum beat starts playing.* East: Oh, God! *The crowd explodes! Liam O'Neill comes racing down the ramp with a Kendo Stick in his hand!* Russ: He's back! Liam O'Neill is back in EWT! *Liam slides right into the ring & Team Ireland quickly bail out as he starts swinging his Kendo Stick left & right. The crowd is going nuts over Liam.* Liam: O'Hare! You're not rid of me just yet! You, that big bitch of a daughter of yours, that f***ing gorilla Shane, "I Are Serious Cat" Aidan & the walking STD have all got alot of punishment coming your way. Now, what I really want is to get my hands on you, but that's going to take a backseat as I deal with your cronies who I used to consider friends first. Now, I just heard your wee announcements there. Sean & Shane are entering into that Bunkhouse Stampede match for the Toolshed Title? Well, I'll be there too to give them the pasting they deserve. That's not everything folks, Aidan, Maeve, the two of you can also count on seeing alot more of Liam O'Neill before I'm through with ya's... BROTHER!!! *The strains of Rick Astley fill the EWT Arena again as Liam drops the mic & continues to goad Team Ireland with the Kendo Stick from inside the ring. O'Hare & co. back up the ramp while Liam's music continues to play.*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Sept 9, 2008 2:46:27 GMT -5
*We zoom in on a hospital bed. A doctor is leaning over the bed, obstructing our view of the patient.
Doctor:Sir, as much as we love having you here...we can't have you here anymore...medically speaking. While you did suffer significant electrocution, but after numerous tests, we can assure you there is nothing wrong with you.
*The Doctor backs up, revealing Andy Duke laying in a hospital bed.
Andy: I'll tell you whats wrong. I haven't had a sponge bath in 3 days. Who can you get to take care of that?
*The Doctor looks at his chart.
Doctor: It looks like nurse Ingrid is on shift right now.
Duke: No, No...No. Not nurse Ingrid. Nurse Ingrid is...ugly.
Doctor: Well, she's the only female nurse on duty.
Duke: What about that Asian male nurse. He is quite supple. I can see how in the right light...
*Duke notices the camera.
Duke: Oh hi! I'm Andy Duke. You might remember me from such matches as "Andy Duke vs. Jonathan Doe: The Cidal Squad Explodes!" and more recently, the Chamber of Hell match. Its been a little while since I've been very active here in EWT. Lately, I've been in and out. I've been in and out with some of the nurses here,too. Hiyo!
*Duke attempts to high-five the doctor, but is ignored. Duke stands up from his bed. He is wearing a hospital gown.
Duke: Anyway, I've now ready in both body and mind. The old Andy Duke is checking out, and the new is checking in.
*He walks out of his room by an elderly woman, who is holding a small paper cup full of pills. Duke takes them and chugs them.
Old Woman: Hey! Those where my colon pills!
Duke: Who needs a colon when you can have...an EXCLAMATION POINT!?!?!?
*Duke superkicks the old woman into a wheelchair. He continues walking until a young couple approaches him.
Man: Are you Andy Duke?
Duke: The one and only. Actually, scratch that. There's this other Andy Duke on the 15th floor. But he probably won't make it through the night. Gonorrhea.
Woman: We have a son, and he's a huge wrestling fan. Can you go see him.
Duke: Well, it looks like that sponge bath isn't happening, so yeah, I'll go see the little tyke.
*They walk into a room to see a young boy, probably 11 years old, laying in a hospital bed.
Man: Son, we have someone very special to see you.
Boy: John Stamos?
Duke: No! Its me, Andy Duke!
Boy: Oh Really! Thanks mom, thanks dad!
Duke: So there, little....?
Woman: Jeff.
Duke: I was thinking Steve. So there...Steve. I'm sure you'll beat this cancer. It'll be easy.
Jeff: I don't have cancer! I've having my tonsils removed.
Duke: Ooooh. My best wishes. I hope you make it through this. If not, can I have your stuff?
Man: I think you better leave.
Duke: Yeah, I gotta find that Mexican nurse. She owes me five bucks. Or a blow...(notices Jeff, and then his parents, who look upset.)...pop. Later Steve.
*Duke leaves the room, and walks out of the front doors of the hospital. The camera stays in the hospital doorway, and watches Duke leave, revealing his exposed buttocks through the back of his hospital gown.
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default
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on Sept 9, 2008 11:45:58 GMT -5
Sammy Stardust sits on a barstool, flashy lights behind him. He's dressed in his usual attire... tuxedo pants, tuxedo shirt and an undone bowtie. Still looking a little battered, "The One Armed Bandit" flashes a bit of a smile as he begins to speak.
Stardust: You know, I've never been one to really brag or boast. Frankly, I just don't have much a knack for it, so I leave it to those who do. You people know who I'm talking about... Chance Confidence, Ratings, the list goes on. But still, I can't help but smile when I think back to how I did what I said I was going to do if given half an opportunity. After all, you should know your limitations, just not when to quit.
I just hope my actions at No Rest For The Wicked put some degree of closure to the naysayers who have tried writing me off as just some second string sideshow attraction. I'm not here for a pity party. I'm not here to be the butt of jokes or to crack them. I'm here to fight... I'm here to wrestle.
Whoa, listen to me. I'm, I, me... I gotta take a moment to give props where props are do. That's to fellow teammates... Maelstrom, Emerald Warrior, Angus McAngus and Barry Bricktop. We may never see eye to eye and any or all of us could end up going eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, someday. But the bottom line was, we co-existed and got the job done and for that, they four have got respect in my book.
But man, what a win. What a feeling. It was euphoric. Everything leading up to that moment, every win, every loss, every ache, every pain, every bruise, every sweat drop I've had since getting into wrestling was worth it for that one moment. Andy Duke may have been the one on the flip side of the coin, but believe me... it was every bit as electric for me as well. Honestly, I haven't felt that good since boxing match.
Stardust pauses for a second, closing his eyes as expression grows blank... seemingly soaking it all in once again. When they open, his eyes suddenly become more serious, as tries to speak, but his voice breaks. He overcompsenates for the first syllable as he tries again, before lowering himself down to his normal low key voice.
AND now... now, I have a chance to go back even further. In all my years of training, sparring, boxing and then into wrestling... championships have eluded me. Now, coming off the biggest win of my wrestling career, I get a call and a contract shipped out to go one on one with Dave Davies for the EWT championship.
It's funny, when that contract arrived and I signed it and sent it back on its way... I couldn't help but think back. Whenever I felt the feintest feeling of fizzling out, the mere thought of a title, any title, was enough to fuel my fire. Dave Davies is a true champion, a true competitor in every sense of the word. But regardless, any fear of being bested... any inkling of a doubt in my abilities, has been burnt up by the very fuel and fire that's burning inside me.
And with that Stardust grows quiet as the image of him staring wide-eyed fades to black.
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on Sept 9, 2008 18:47:52 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Well Jesse, Sigma has shown us what he’s truly capable of, both physically and mentally in that ring. The true test will come at Massacre, where he will face off against Joe One in a Steel Cage where the loser will leave EWT.
Jesse Ventura: It will be a massacre no doubt. Sigma knows what he’s getting into. He knows what Joe knows, but Joe thinks he knows more. We’ll see at Massacre. Right now, Sigma has to contend with Lance Sterling.
Tony Schiavone: Lance Sterling having his problems with Bullz-I. Should be a good match as we turn to the ring and Gary Michael Capetta.
*Bell Rings*
GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next contest is scheduled for one fall.
*”Dixie” plays, and the crowd cheers a bit*
GMC: From Cotton Creek, Kentucky, he weighs in at 280 pounds, Lance Sterling.
Tony Schiavone: That’s a very big boy in Lance Sterling. Looks impressive.
Jesse Ventura: Looks aren’t everything, Tony. He needs to have a sound presence in that ring. Since he’s a beginner, he might not have that.
*”Princes of the Universe” plays, crowd boos*
GMC: And his opponent, from Tacoma, Washington. He weighs in tonight at 266 pounds….SIGMA!
Tony Schiavone: And there’s Sigma. Sigma has got that look in his eye. He’s ready to do some damage.
Jesse Ventura: Well, he sees someone in the ring that he doesn’t like, and he’s going to tear them limb from limb. Sigma is seeing Lance Sterling as a stepping stone.
Tony Schiavone: It may seem that way, but this could be an upset in the making.
*Bell Rings*
Jesse Ventura: Well, let’s see if you’re right or not.
Tony Schiavone: Ok, we shall as Lance and Sigma tie up, but Sigma already with that Crippling Knee to the stomach takes down Lance Sterling. I must preface to people that his knee is a legal move. It hits the stomach and nothing else, so it’s legal as Lance Sterling is hurt.
Jesse Ventura: Lance Sterling looked impressive, but apparently he doesn’t have the know-how or the stamina to stand up to one simple move of Sigma’s. That’s the difference between a champion and a chump.
Tony Schiavone: Right, Jesse and Sigma’s scaling the top rope and comes down hard with a guillotine leg drop. Lance is hurt and hurt bad.
Jesse Ventura: Sigma’s just making an example of Lance Sterling for Joe One. He’s showing how bad he’ll beat up Joe One at Massacre. Sigma just laying in the boots to Lance Sterling now and calls for the Suplex.
Tony Schiavone: He just lifts up Lance Sterling with ease, but he’s not going for the suplex. He’s lifting him up and delivers a massive power bomb. Now he gives the high sign.
Jesse Ventura: He is looking to end it right now. He’s perching Lance Sterling up on the top rope as he goes to the outside as well. This could be it.
Tony Schiavone: Yes, this could really be it as Sigma lifts him up and there it is, God’s Wrath to Lance Sterling. He is going for the pin right now.
Ref: 1……2…….3!
*Bell Rings, crowd boos*
Jesse Ventura: This was over before Sigma’s music hit. Lance Sterling doesn’t look like he could hang with the big boys, and this match proved just that.
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, SIGMA!
*”Princes of the Universe” hits*
Tony Schiavone: Sigma is the winner of this match and won it quite hadidly. As Sigma just nudges Lance Sterling out of the ring, he calls for a microphone. I think he has some words for One.
Sigma: You see what I did to that untalented pile of gunge, Joe One? You see the way he got in no offence, had no defense against my moves and all of that? That will be you come Sunday September 28th at Massacre. Now, you call yourself the Nirvana of Violence. Well, listen you pathetic Kurt Cobain wannabe. This cage match you want to do where the loser leaves EWT? Fine, but let’s prove how violent you can be. I’ve been to Japan, I’ve been all over the world and back, fighting some of the most brutal matches ever seen. The ropes will be Barbwire, the top of the cage, will be barbwire and because I can, the only way to win will to be either pin your opponent, or climb out of the cage and onto the floor. Trust me on this one. Your burial will be at massacre, and you will no longer be able to bore the people with your monotonous speeches and not to mention your sorry excuse for a group for all eternity. Minipax isn’t the past, present or future. I am the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, and come Massacre, your judge, jury and ultimately, your executioner. Welcome to your doom.
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Post by invaderdave on Sept 10, 2008 23:02:30 GMT -5
The scene opens with a camera shot of the EWT Heavyweight title, laying on a table. Dave Davies' voice can be heard off-screen.
"This...is the EWT Heavyweight Championship...correction; this is MY EWT Heavyweight Championship. The most important title in America. The most important title in the world. I hold this belt near and dear to my heart, to my soul, closer than anything, or anyone, in my life."
The camera pans up, showing Davies, standing above the table, as the Nyrds are doing something in the corner.
"Over the past few months, you've noticed that I've kept quite a hold on this title. I've been told so many times, by so many people, that I'm going to lose this belt. A lot of these people say that they're the one's that are going to take it from me. Thats fine. Its good to have dreams. Its good to have ambition. Unfortunately, all of these men have fallen before me. Unable to take my grasp off this belt. Unable to pin for for the all-important three seconds. Coach O'Hare tells me that I couldn't beat the Irish to defend this belt. Well guess what, Coach? I beat the Irish! I beat you!
And now you can't even accept the fact, can you? Can you, O'Hare? So you have to publicly make attacks on my character, try to make it sound like a fluke...try to tell everyone that I couldn't do it on my own...when its pretty damn obvious that your boy couldn't cut it on his own. I'll never beat the Irish? As of Sunday, you boys couldn't even beat a half-Irish."
Dave picks the title up, and slings it over his shoulder.
"So, the question is, who's up next? Sounds like this Sammy Stardust guy thinks he can cut it against me. Now, I have quite a bit of respect for a man like Sammy. He comes from a rough background, he's overcome a missing appendage, and has become a great wrestler in his own right. But Sammy, don't think you'll have it easy. No one has ever had it easy with me, and I certainly won't stop now, just because you have a disability..."
Joel and Mike walk over from the corner, and Mike closes his DS. Dave smiles a little bit, and puts a hand on each of their shoulders.
"But now, lets talk new business...Congrats, guys, you have a shot to win back those tag titles."
Joel cocks an eyebrow.
"Uh, Dave...I don't think we'd exactly "win them back"...we haven't held the belts in like three years..."
Dave sighs.
"Ah, right. I remember now. But thats neither here nor there. You guys have a shot, a shot to make us a Golden Trio! All three of us could be holding gold, all three of us could be the flag-bearers for this company. Now what do you think of that?"
Mike replies, getting fairly excited.
"I'm giddier than when I first pre-ordered my Wii!"
Dave groans, before leaving.
"Just...just don't screw it up, alright guys?"
Joel and Mike now have firm control of the camera, and stand together, ready for their promo. Joel addresses the camera directly.
"Highland Diamonds, you guys are Scottish to the bone! You're rough, you're tough, and you've got the belts. Guess what boys...we want those belts!"
Mike butts in.
"Yeah, and if we don't beat you guys, Dave'll probably kick our asses!"
"So, instead of being on the receiving end of a Scottish ass kicking, and then a Davies ass kicking, we're gonna bring the kicking of asses to you! We're not just the flippy video game players anymore. We went to Japan! We learned how to kick people! So Diamonds, get ready, we're coming for those belts. We're turning our team into a Golden Trio. Believe it!"
Joel walks off, leaving Mike onscreen.
"What, are you Naruto now? That was totally dumb..."
Mike follows Joel offscreen, and the segment fades out.
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on Sept 11, 2008 13:19:29 GMT -5
*Cut to the Highland Diamonds’ lockerroom. Both of them are casually sat down in the room, belts round their waists. Emerald Warrior has multiple bandages wrapped round his head from the severe wounds he suffered at No Rest For The Wicked.*
Sum Guy: Hello! I am Sum Guy, and I recently put a bet on the LHC ending the world! I am here with the Highland Dia-
*Angus cuts him off*
Angus: Ye what?
Sum: Uh, I put a bet on the-
Angus: I heard ye tha first time. If ya did somethin’ that stupid, ye don’t deserve bein’ in our lockerroom. Ah thought ye might have smartened up since we last met, but ye haven’t, so beat it!
*Sum Guy backs out perplexed and shuts the door behind him*
Angus: Well well well. Looks like our promise once again held true. Once again, we came out on top on PPV, and stole the show.
Warrior: Once again, I was the talk of the town that night, and well, every night since, cause simply seeing me is a life-changing experience, and seeing me wrestle is a truly unforgettable memory.
Angus: And now, we’re once again facin’ a coupla returnin hopefuls, a couple o’ scrubs. Elite Perfection, our match with ye may never have come aboot, but don’t worry, ye’ll get yah chance tah join the list of our retirement victims one day.
Warrior: But first, we’ve got Tool number 1 and Tool number 2, collectively known as The Tools, Joel and Mike Hodgson.
Angus: Actually mah friend, they’re called The Nyrds.
Warrior: The Nerds?
Angus: No, Nyrds, with a Y.
Warrior: Oh, of course, cause they know the secret of how to be cool and unique is to change a letter in your name. I bet they really get fans talking.
Angus: Most likely aboot what type of snacks ta buy at the concessions stand when the Nyrds’ match comes on, cause any sane person’d take a popcorn break fer them.
*The Diamonds by now are less facing the camera, and more just chatting between themselves*
Warrior: It’s almost sad that they’ve even bothered to come back. I mean, when’s the last successful return we saw? Nearly every big comeback’s just flopped worse than….well, I actually can’t think of any flops remotely as unsuccessful as the pathetic returns we’ve seen here.
*Angus now turns to face the camera again*
Angus: Now Joel, Mike, ye may think we ain’t takin’ our match with you seriously. Now, that’s not strictly true. We’re takin’ it seriously. We just ain’t takin it as a threat.
Warrior: Cause let’s face it, you, well, you really aren’t gonna beat us. Even if I am all cut up and busted from the PPV, I’m still more than ring-worthy. And, when you guys get bullied by a fat tramp whose surname is the same as his forename, you can’t exactly have much self respect, or indeed toughness. I’d just say beat it chubby, and superkick that vagrant of an EWT Champion’s arse back to the alleyway, but then, I’m me, and you’re you, and you aren’t even close to being me.
Angus: I’ll admit one thing though, ye can certainly catch me out with yah words. Half yer references ta videogames an’ Japanese cartoons go over mah head, an’ the other half go over that first half.
Warrior: Lucky thing is though, that all the anime in-jokes and Wii Fitness that you do isn’t going to cut the mustard. We’ll beat you quicker than that Colombian guy beat Amir Khan, tragic though that loss was.
Angus: I lost a lot of money on that, but the positive is that it’s made me consider a return ta boxin’, as I reckon I could take Khan now.
Warrior: But enough about geeks and Queensbury rules and what have you, there’s another issue I have.
*Warrior leans forward from his reclined position sat down.*
Warrior: Damien McKnight! You take it into your head, in the middle of a match that already involves electrocution, to swing a cleaver into my skull! 18 stitches! 18 stitches I had to have to close this wound up! It almost reopened itself when I pulled my mask on! So, you want to get all ultra-violent, you want to get hardcore and bloody with me, go ahead. Find a friend, if you aren’t such a sad little Hell’s Angel wannabe that your only friend is your bike. Find a team mate, get in the ring with us two. Hell, you don’t even need a team mate. Just face me, one on one. I don’t need butchers’ axes to cut you open, I’ll use my knuckles. You’ll be more messed up than you were when Angus turned the cleaver on you at NRFTW. So, grow some balls, get off your jazzed up tricycle, and turn round and look me eye to eye in the ring. I’ll happily return the favour for your actions last Sunday.
Angus: Scotland Forever!
*Angus finally stands up, just to throw his kilt over the camera lens*
*cut to adverts*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Sept 12, 2008 5:02:52 GMT -5
*Backstage and Sum Guy is hanging out with some work technicians, Maelstrom walks by and Sum Guy quickly darts into action*
SUM GUY: Hi everyone I'm Sum Guy and I haven't talked to Maelstrom in months!
*Maelstrom pauses and looks at Sum, shakes his head and continues walking*
SUM GUY: I'm so lonely
*As Sum cries, Maelstrom can be seen heading for the ring.*
(fade out)
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on Sept 13, 2008 13:56:52 GMT -5
*the camera pans across what appears to be a dark, filthy attic littered with various remains of creepy-looking dolls. as the camera maneuvers through the wreckage, the sound of children laughing and playing can be heard as they sing a song.*
children - riiiiiiiiing around the rooooooosie...........poooooooocket full of pooooooooosey......
*as the camera continues to make its way through the dark attic, it gets closer to a flickering light source. the voices of the children get louder.*
children - riiiiiiiiing around the rooooooosie...........poooooooocket full of pooooooooosey......
*the camera makes it way to the light source to find that it's a pile of the remains of some of the dolls scattered around that has been set on fire. next to the plastic corpse bonfire is the silhouette of a man sitting down cross-legged, rocking back and forth while he covers his ears.*
children - riiiiiiiiing around the rooooooosie...........poooooooocket full of pooooooooosey......
*the man begins to mumble 'shut up' to himself as he begins to punch himself in the head. after a few punches, his head suddenly shoots up. one of his eyes darts around the room while the other one, dark as the corners of the attic stays still. after a few seconds of searching, the man spots the camera....takes a deep breath...and begins to speak as the children continue to repeat the same words over and over again in the background.*
man - ...this fire isn't the same...plastic doesn't burn quite as well as tendons do.....hehe...and the victim doesn't quite make the same sounds, either....there's no screams of agony.....no.....satisfaction hehe...in burning these things....
children - riiiiiiiiing around the rooooooosie...........poooooooocket full of pooooooooosey......
man - ...but....but uncle toomi is giving me a chance to make things right....hehe...yes he is....hehe a bunkhouse stampede...there's no fire....no flames to ravage anyone's flesh....hehe at least unless i decide to create some...hehe....but there is barbed wire....my old, old friend....hehe....uncle toomi is getting me out of here....uncle toomi is giving me a chance to...help....them hehe...
children - riiiiiiiiing around the rooooooosie...........poooooooocket full of pooooooooosey......
man - hehe...massacre is a fitting name....it's....it's a fitting name....
*the man grabs a doll from the fire and punches the doll until the flames are out. you can see smoke coming from the charred flesh of his fist as he hurls the extinguished doll across the room.*
man - ...it's a fitting name...hehe...because with psychoapeguy in there with all those potential victims hehe....it may just be a massacre in there....hehe....i'm not back to win titles....hehe i'm back to do what i haven't done in far too long.....hehe.....make.....hehe....make people bleed....make them scream......make them beg for their lives....hehe ewt's resident psychopath is back, ladies and gentlemen....hehehe....and i promise....hehe...i promise....i promise to maim each and every one of you.....hehe i have to.....i have to...for the children....for the future....
children: aaaaaashes.....aaaaaashes.......we all fall down.....
*psychoapeguy slowly lowers his head again and begins rocking back and forth. the camera moves past ape and towards a window looking outside. as it reaches the window, it looks down and sees what appears to be a small group of children playing jump rope with a string of barbed wire. they begin singing their song again. ape quietly laughs in the background as the camera fades to black.*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on Sept 13, 2008 18:15:11 GMT -5
*We are taken to a suburban neighborhood. We spy Andy Duke, walking out of a quaint home. He is wearing a bathrobe and slippers. Andy: Hi there. I'm Andy Duke. You might remember me from such video vignettes as "Andy Duke's Journey to Hell" and "Andy Duke goes to the hospital: Hide the nurses!". You like my house? Maybe you should buy a home in this neighborhood. If you lived here, you'd be home by now. Ah yes, this life isn't meant for everyone. Oh, there is my neighbor. (Andy yells to someone off-camera)HI THERE, KEVIN! Man:( Off-Camera)MY NAME IS HANK, YOU JACKASS! Andy: Oh Kevin, what a joker. You should meet him someday. If I knew you were coming, I'd have dressed a little more appropriately. Some more clothes. Or, for some of you, some less clothes. *Andy walks out to his mailbox, opens it, and sees no mail. Andy: Damn. No mail yet. No worry, it'll be here soon. And if not, I've got a fist, and the mail man's got a face! *A female mail Currier walks on screen, and pulls a letter out of her satchel. Andy: Holy Suffrage! A female man! I mean, a mail woman! Where's Jim? F.M.C.:Jim? Oh, you mean Frank? He's sick today, so I took over his route. Well, here's your mail. Andy: Thank you. Maybe I should wish for Frank to be sick more often. F.M.C. obviously lying)Yeah..uh...me,too. Well, I've got to go deliver the mail... *She leaves. Andy watches her leave. Andy: I love a person in uniform. Well, anyway... *He looks at his letter. Andy: Oh Pu-shah! Its from work! Its a telegram! Well, you can't read it, so I'll read it out loud: Dear Mr.Duke STOP You have been added to the main event of the next EWT PPV STOP I hope you have better luck than your last couple main events STOP -Toom E. Dangerously Andy: Hrrm...this is quite an opportunity. I've had many a battle for the toolshed title in the past. All across the world. My first PPV match was for that belt. Kinda full circle, eh. Well, I better use my head, so I don't end up almost losing it, like last time. Maybe if I win, I'll get to use both heads that night. Well, I've got to go, have sex with A LOT of girls. *Andy goes back into his house.
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Post by williamo on Sept 14, 2008 15:13:38 GMT -5
BACKSTAGE- EWT ARENA
*Marisol Kaneshall is standing by with Liam O'Neill.*
Marisol: Leem, at EWT Massacre on September 28th you'll be in the Barbed-Wire Bunkhouse Stampede Battle Royal for the EWT Toolshed Championship. Do you really think it's wise for you to be getting into that environment given your condition, your past & who some of the other entrants are?
Liam: Wise? Nah, of course it's not wise, love, but that's the point. I'm not even sure I can win the Toolshed Title. Look at some of the other lads in there like The Bad Man & Maelstrom. There ya have not only the current EWT Tri-State Champion, but also a former EWT World Heavyweight Champion. Here, we also have the current EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Dave Davies in the match as well! Now, if those lads aren't tough competition, I don't know what is. Then we have Andy Duke, former Tag Champ, PsychoApeGuy, another former World Heavyweight Champion, Mysth, who gave me some of the toughest matches of my career & Pinkmist... who I don't really know much about, but he can probably take a pounding...
Marisol: And what about your former team-mates? Are you really in a fit state f mind to be facing them?
Liam: Well, now, I'm not sure. I think I am. I'm no longer runnin' around like a paranoid shizophrenic talkin' to a doll, I no longer think I'm Hulk Hogan. I think I'm over all that... BUT I'M NOT OVER WHAT THEY DID TO ME! Did ya see that f***ing brutal bitch kick me down the stairs while they made Tiffany watch? Did ya see her beat the hell out of Tiffany just 'cause she could? Did ya see the way Tiffany was cryin' on that PPV?! All just so these lads, my former FRIENDS... could send a message to me?! Makes me wish I'd never come here, but I'm going to climb in that ring & I'm going to take care of a former Toolshed Champion, Shane Malone, & my former best mate, that sneaky wee s***e, Sean McCann, in a way that can hurt O'Hare more than he'd care to mention! He's obsessed with driving those lads to win. When they don't, it kills him, believe me. If I can just get rid of them, or better yet, win the Toolshed Title, I can only imagine what it'll do to 'im! See, O'Hare & all the rest of them, they like to spout on about how "YOU WILL NEVER BEAT THE IRISH!" Well, in this case [Liam points to himself]... You're damn right ya never will!
*Liam walks off as Marisol looks on. She stares dumbly into the camera for a moment before we cut to the next thing.*
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Post by teamireland on Sept 15, 2008 16:48:06 GMT -5
"Alright Now! Boom, sha-lock lock, boom! Boom, sha-lock lock, boom! Boom, sha-lock lock, boom! Boom, sha-lock lock, boom!"Nick Russ: Good evening EWT fans. I'm Nick Russ, alongside me as always is Jerome "The Lord" East. Here to call the match between Team Ireland's Sean McCann & EWT newomer Pinkmist. Jerome "The Lord" East: Nick, from what little we know about Pinkmist, it seems as if he's the polar opposite of Sean McCann. This should make for a very intriguing match to say the least. *Sean McCann swaggers out onto the stage as Coach O'Hare follows him closely behind, brandishing his Tricolour-wrapped Hurley. The crowd greets Sean with jeers of contempt partially due to the fact he ruined the EWT World Heavyweight Championship match between Dave Davies & Aidan Donnelly & partially because he's a total prick.* Toni "T.G." Garcya: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit. Introducing first representing Team Ireland, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, weighing in at 182lbs, from Donegal, Ireland, he is "The Don Juan of Donegal"... SEAN... MC~CAAAAAAAAAAN! *The Green, White & Gold pyro explodes at the top of the stage as Sean stands with his arms outstretched & O'Hare holds the Hurley high in the air. Sean races on ahead to the ring & discards his shades. He takes off his vest & throws it into the audience who throw it right back at him. Sean climbs the turnbuckles & stands with his arms outstretched again as O'Hare enters waving the Hurley proudly. The crowd boos both men vociferously.* Russ: It seems the audience still aren't keen on accepting Sean McCann. East: I can't imagine why, after all the great matches he's given us & a record-breaking Tag-Team Title reign. Russ: Actually, TJT's was a month longer. East: I'm not really sure it should count seeing as they didn't actually show up to defend the belts for about a month. "There's things that you can guess and things that ya know! There's boys you trust and girls that you don't There's little things ya hide and little things that you show Sometimes you think you're gonna get it, but you don't and that's just the way it goes.
I said I won't tease you or tell you no lies. Don't need no bible, just look in my eyes. I've waited so long baby now that we're friends. A man's got his patience and his where mine ends.
I WANT YOUR SEX!"*Pinkmist immediately steps out from the back, as his rainbow of pyros quickly fire off, a foursome of familiar muscular men wearing bright pink sleeveless suits stomping after him, these each with a rather stern look on their face. The masked man gives a smile, as he walks toward the ring, clad in the same robe as last time. Sean just watches, mouth agape at the sight of this fellow.* Toni "T.G." Garcya: And his opponent, weighing in at 200 pounds, from the Temple of Bliss... he is known simply as "The Sex"... Pinkmist! *The man stops before the ring, clapping his hands quickly, as these three men flocking him all quickly bend down, forming a human staircase for him to climb, as he quickly leaps into the ring, stepping over toward the middle of the ring and beginning a slow seductive dance, giving his opponent a subtle wink, McCann looking a bit wide eyed back, as the man quickly rips off his robe, revealing the leather suit underneath, as his slow dancing continues, the crowd cheering this a bit for whatever reason, as he slowly reaches behind himself now, unzipping that suit and letting it drop, revealing his wrestling attire, as he flashes a huge grin at Sean, licking his lips rather lustfully.* Russ: Well... that certainly was... unusual. East: Not that there's anything wrong with that sort of thing... *Sean & Pinkmist start off circling eachother. Sean doesn't know quite what to make of the new comer. Sean lunges at Pinkmist. Pinkmist dodges to one side & gets behind Sean. Rather than attack, Pinkmist makes a point of admiring Sean's behind. Sean turns around & Pinkmist quickly snaps out of it. Sean just yells at him.* Sean: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING? Russ: I don't why Sean's suddenly so uptight. Isn't he, y'know, that way? East: Look he only did it with a guy once & that was a long time ago! Russ: Can you actually name me a woman he's been with? East:... ... ... Gimme a minute... *Pinkmist remains silent. Sean moves forward & makes to lock up with Pinkmist. The two men engage eachother in a collar & elbow tie-up. Sean seems to be getting the better out of this grappling exchange, but he hasn't noticed that Pinkmist's arms have slowly snaked around Sean's shoulders & down his back. Pinkmist grabs at Sean's ass & leans his head onto Sean's shoulder. Sean tries to disengage as quickly as possible, but Pinkmist's grip on his ass is firm. Sean slyly raises a knee into Pinkmist's groin. Pinkmist doubles over & finally drops to his knees. Sean takes a few steps back & blasts Pinkmist with a Dropkick.* *Sean revels in his slight victory & hits a Mushroom Stomp right on Pinkmist's chest. Pinkmist sits up immediately afterwards, coughing. Sean hits another Dropkick, this time to Pinkmist's back. Pinkmist reaches around his left arm to sooth his back & Sean immediately latches onto the arm & traps Pinkmist in a Hammerlock on the mat. Pinkmist uses his free right arm to roll over so that he's ontop of Sean. The ref begins to count...* 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! *The ref ceases his count when Sean lifts his right shoulder off the mat, but Pinkmist refuses to get off from on top of Sean. Sean quickly realizes why & releases Pinkmist's left arm from the Hammerlock before shoving The Sex away from him. As Sean scrambles away he notices that his body is now coated with some of the body paint & glitter from Pinkmist's back. He tries to wipe the glitter off his body. As such he isn't paying attention when Pinkmist clocks him with a Spinning Wheel Kick. Sean goes down & starts nursing his face a bit. Seconds later, Pinkmist is also over checking that Sean's face isn't damaged. "The Don Juan of Donegal" looks at the bizarre masked man with a quizzical look before shoving him away again.* Russ: Pinkmist seems a bit too concerned with messing up Sean's good looks. East: That type of stupid behaviour's gonna wind up costing him the match if he's not careful. *Pinkmist aims a Dropkick at Sean. Sean blocks it & charges right at Pinkmist catching him with a Tornado DDT. Sean points up to the top rope to show he's not finished yet. He slowly makes his way up top, but Pinkmist manages to get up & shake the ropes, causing Sean to lose his balance & crotch himself on the ringpost. Pinkmist puts his hands over his mouth & immediately runs over to check that Sean has not been too badly injured. Sean lies in the corner with his hands on his gonads as Pinkmist approaches. Sean gets both feet up & kicks Pinkmist away, still not sure exactly what the masked man's intentions are. Pinkmist is a little hurt that Sean has nothing but scorn for his good intentions. Before Sean can manage to stand up Pinkmist goes for "The Heartbreak Hammer". Sean gets the groin of Pinkmist repeatedly shoved in his face. Just as he turns his head to the side thinking it's over & to scream for Coach O'Hare, Pinkmist charges right at Sean crotch first. Sean looks as though he's about to vomit. He rolls out of the ring coughing & spluttering. He asks O'Hare for a water bottle & O'Hare complies. Sean throws the water over his face & some in his mouth before rinsing & spitting it out again.* Russ: Oh GOD! That was just vile! I don't blame Sean rinising & spitting. East: If I were him I think I would've used something stronger, like industrial strength bleach! *Sean climbs onto the ring apron & springs into the ring hitting a Seated Senton on Pinkmist. The referee begins to count...* 1... 2... SEAN STANDS UP! East: What the hell is he doing? Russ: Sean probably thinks Pinkmist might enjoy that particular pinning predicament a bit too much. *Sean suddenly realizes that pinning Pinkmist in such a way may not actually be the best strategy. He stands up & walks away, but Pinkmist lays in the same position on the mat, begging Sean to do the move again. Sean runs to the top & aims for the "Dublin Stomp", Pinkmist rolls aside & Sean lands on his feet. Pinkmist Dropkicks Sean in the back sending the Irishman into the turnbuckles face first. Pinkmist grabs a hold of Sean's waist from behind & makes a crude thrusting gesture before taking him over with a German Suplex. Sean goes sailing nearly across the ring. He rolls to the outside again to consult with O'Hare.* Sean: Do you see the things he's doin' ta me? *Before Sean's conversation with O'Hare goes much further, Pinkmist reaches out & grabs Sean's hair to drag him back into the ring. Sean manages to poke Pinkmist in the eyes while the ref isn't looking. Sean slides in under to bottom rope & hits a, still temporarily blinded, Pinkmist with a knee to the gut before trying to hit him with the "Donegal Drop". Before he can do so, Pinkmist shoves Sean off the the ropes & manages to catch him on the rebound with "The Irresistable Fanny Force". Sean is down. Pinkmist goes for the cover...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *Sean may be more freaked out than he's ever been in his career, but he's still wary enough to try & win the match. He whips Pinkmist into a corner & charges at him, driving a high knee into Pinkmist's face. Pinkmist collapses back into the corner. Sean grabs a hold of the top ropes & manages to hold himself straight up in the air for a moment before crashing down into Pinkmist with a Dropkick. Sean tries to drag Pinkmist back out to the middle of the ring for a cover, but Pinkmist manages to surprise Sean with a Small Package...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *Sean manages to escape from Pinkmist's pin, just barely. As soon as Sean turns to face Pinkmist again, Pinkmist plants a huge smacker on Sean's lips. Sean recoils in disgust & exits the ring again. He starts to walk backstage. O'Hare yells at Sean to finish the match & tries to force him back in the ring. The ref begins to count Sean out...* East: Looks like that was the final straw for Sean. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... *Pinkmist dashes outside the ring & grabs Sean as he's about halfway up the ramp. Pinkmist holds the waistband of Sean's pants & then runs back down the ramp with him, rolling Sean back into the ring.* Russ: But Pinkmist wants this match to continue as he throws Sean back in! *Sean grasps at his tights, looking quite annoyed, as he rises to his feet, Pinkmist quickly slipping back inside himself, grabbing around Sean's waist and... licking across the back of his head. Sean shudders at this feeling and rears his head back, knocking Pinkmist to his knees, as he quickly follows up with a low dropkick to the face! Pinkmist quickly goes rolling to the outside, clutching at his nose, as Sean quickly swings through the ropes, following with a second one! Pinkmist goes down in a heap, as Sean quickly reaches down, angrily throwing him back into the ring, then spring boarding especially high across the ropes, landing with a particularly vicious double footed stomp! Pinkmist grasps further at his face, as Sean quickly goes for a cover.* 1.... 2.... *Pinkmist gets his foot on the ropes.* East: Pinkmist may have managed to escape, but you can tell Sean McCann isn't messing about any more! *Sean realizes this, holding his head with frustration, as he slams the mat with a fist, before quickly pulling Pinkmist to his feet, only for the masked young man to counter with a lightning quick Enziguri, driving his foot right into the side of Sean's face! He crashes to the mat, as Pinkmist licks his lips slowly, clutching at his face, then quickly charging forward, wrapping his arms around Sean's waist from behind and proceeding to take a "Time Out"! Sean's eyes go wide in horror as he experiences this... unique offense! He tries to wriggle free, but to no avail, as Pinkmist is quite intent on keeping this up. The referee just looks at this and almost gags at the sight, quickly covering his eyes. Sean immediately crawling desperately toward the ropes, lunging out and grabbing right onto the bottom one! The referee instantly tells Pinkmist to break the hold, who reluctantly does so, as Sean immediately bolts outside of the ring, rubbing at his... ass it seems, as he immediately high tails it out of the arena. Pinkmist just pops back up to his feet, rubbing at his face slightly, then grinning and waving back at the fleeing Sean, as the referee sighs and begins the count.* East: Really, can ya blame him? 1... 2... 3... Russ: Wow, it really seems as if Sean has completely quit this match! 4... 5... East: That's not how Team Ireland do things! Coach, get him back here! 6... *Coach O'Hare just gazes up the ramp, expecting Sean to return.* 7... 8... Russ: Getting near the end now & no sign of McCann coming back! 9... East: Sean McCann has quit this match in disgust! 10! Russ: That's it! Time's up! It's over! *O'Hare's jaw drops at this, as the bell sounds. This one is done for.* Toni "T.G." Garcya: Here is your winner... by count out... Pinkmist! *The crowd cheers slightly, perhaps simply happy to see the hated Team Ireland be humiliated in anyway possible. O'Hare looks absolutely livid with the result, grabbing his Hurley and looking toward the ring, seeming ready to slip inside himself... only to wave it off and stomp after McCann.* Russ: Both representatives of Team Ireland just high-tailing it out of here. East: You could say they don't want any more of Pinkmist. I say, they're not the only ones! *Pinkmist meanwhile starts a rather seductive dance, using the referee as a human pole from the looks of the things, the crowd giving a slight pop, before he runs over, flipping out of the ring and landing into the arms of his so called "Delights." He lays back in their grip, blowing the audience a kiss, then points his men forward, as they quickly carry him back to the backstage area as well.* *We quickly cut to the next segment.*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Sept 16, 2008 9:36:52 GMT -5
*We are backstage and Maelstrom is in front of the camera, behind him is a typical EWT background.*
MAELSTROM: No rest for the Wicked is behind us, No Rest for the Wicked is over and now the waters have subsided we can see that my team of unlikley draftees came out winnners. Now with that victory under my belt I have decided to enter the Toolshed Title brawl and take the hardcore title for myself .... why you ask would a former EWT Heavyweight Champion challenge for such a belt ... I'll tell you ...
*Maelstrom pauses, listening to the crowd making noise for him*
MAELSTROM: Because I can. I am one of the most dominant and brutal men in the history of the EWT, and at Massacre there will be only carnage as I eliminate each and every other challenger including the Tri-State Champion Bad Man and the World Heavyweight Champion Dave Davies from the ring! Proving that I am the best and that I dominate the sea that is the EWT. From there I can ....
VOICE: -Ahem!-
*The camera zooms out and reveals the Darkness in the Light, Mysth, who apparently snuck behind Maelstrom without him noticing.*
MYSTH: I wouldn't want to tarnish your pride after the victory of your team at No Rest For The Wicked but... that domination you're talking about... it's quite hard to fully believe in it, considering I recently beat you and all. I mean, sure you're a tough guy... but you know, in this business, it's always unhealthy to proclaim you're dominating if... well, you're not. Know what I mean?
MAELSTROM: You're kidding right? You only just beat me and I had already faced an opponent that night!
MYSTH: True, true... but on the other hand, *I* was returning from an injury, so I was far from my full potential as well... not to mention you have the size advantage, so I guess we were even. And beside, a man who believes he can become the Toolshed champion should be able to face adversity regardless of the fatigue. Now Maelstrom, I have nothing but respect for you but I was thinking... maybe you actually aren't ready for a Barbed Wire Wrapped Ropes Battle Royale. Maybe it'd be better for you to rest and refocus.
MAELSTROM: And it is a man who injured himself while training who is saying this? Yet you think I should rest? Refocus? Have you been sidelined for that long? I have survived ninjas, hell in a cell, a great white shark attack, ladders, and numerous brutal bloody bouts including the Chamber of Horrors! I even came back from a broken spine and yet you say I should rest? ...
*Grins and shakes his head*
MAELSTROM: No there is no rest, not now, not ever ... there is only the Maelstr ...
MYSTH: Yeah yeah, I know the chorus. Turn the tide and all. But you see, not only did *I* also have my fair share of brutal fights. Steel cage matches, table matches, toolshed matches, beating ferhago crow and hell, being in the third Megadeth, ... I also defeated you, despite all your experience and all you overcame, I beat you clean. So I don't think my legitimacy needs more confirmation. But as far as YOU are concerned, I think you should be careful, because I've got a feeling that maybe the tide has already turned without you even knowing it.
*Maelstrom and Mysth stare each other down as we fade out*
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Post by hardcorehensley on Sept 18, 2008 23:19:38 GMT -5
"Hit Em High, Hit Em Low" starts up.
Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome YOUR EWT Ox Division Champion...Hardcore Hensley!
Jim Ross: Hardcore Hensley, folks!
Joey Styles: He doesn't look too happy, JR.
Hensley steps out onto the stage, his belt dangling from around his neck. He makes his way to the ring, slapping no hands, his face seemingly completely focused. He climbs into the ring, and snatches Garcia's microphone away abruptly.
Hensley: Lillian, I apologize, but I am in no mood!
His music cuts off, and the arena falls dead silent. Garcia nods her head with a small smile before exiting the ring. Hensley glares into a nearby camera.
Hensley: I was scheduled to defend my title against one, Darren Matthews. Needless to say, said match isn't gonna be taking place. You see, Matthews went through a change not too long ago. Now, Darren Matthews does whatever he wants, whenever he wants! Yeah, that's right. It doesn't look like challenging me for my title was anywhere on his wants list.
He sighs, shaking his head as the camera pans out.
Hensley: I could have simply ignored all this, I know. I could have just stayed back in my locker room, hung out, whatever. I think, over the last few months, I've defended the EWT Ox Division Championship well enough to miss just one defense. It wasn't like it was even my fault anyways. Still, that's not how I enjoy doing things. I love competing! I love coming out here and wrestling! I live by proving myself! I live to know that there's not one person questioning whether or not I'm gonna show up! I live by all that!
He sighs again, scanning the audience as the chatter begins to pickup.
Hensley: Therefore, Hardcore Hensley ain't gonna play this like some punk b****! Since Darren Matthews didn't WANT to challenge me, I'm gonna give whoever does the opportunity! If you wanna go one on one with the champ, if you wanna shot at the EWT Ox Division Champion then you get your ass out here!
He throws down his mic, and tosses his belt aside. His fans rile as he urges somebody to call him. There's no answer at first, but suddenly, Fatboy Slim's "The Rockafeller Skank" blares out from the loudspeakers.
JR: It looks like Hensley's not fooling around. He really means business-
Styles: Who the hell?
"High Energy" Charley Mac sprints down the aisle, and slides into the ring very energetically. Hensley nods at the youngster with a big grin, encouraging his arrival. Mac bounces around, measuring Hensley up. A referee hits the ring quickly, and calls for the bell.
JR: Well, what do you know! We gotta title match, folks!
Styles: Charley Mac here making one helluva debut!
"High Energy" goes for a quick handshake, and is immediately met with a stiff short arm clothesline and a flash elbow drop. Hensley goes for a quick pin, but it's only a one count, and Mac springs to his feet, only to hit a quick arm drag, return the elbow, and get a one count for his trouble. After a short stare down, they lock up, Hensley pushing Mac against the ropes and shooting him to the opposite ropes, and is hit with a high cross body, leading into an armbar by Mac.
JR: Good stuff from the newcomer here as we come out of the gates.
Styles: Not bad, not bad at all.
Hensley manages to work his way out of the armbar, and shoots Mac into the ropes, hitting him with a double knee shot to the chest. Mac slips down to the mat as Hensley crosses the ring for a hesitation dropkick, but Mac manages to grab hold of the top rope, and pull himself out of harm's way. Mac hits a wicked double stomp to Hensley's back as he stumbles to his feet.
JR: No cigar for "The Hardcore One"!
Styles: Yikes, nasty stuff from Mac.
Hensley recovers quickly, snapping off a dropkick that stuns Mac, falls back into the ropes, allowing Hensley a chance to strike with a spinning back kick square in Mac's chest. Mac hits the mat and is covered for a quick two count. Mac kicks out, springing up and hitting a standing enzugiri, and leading up to hit the Sugar Spike, but Hensley barely escapes, ducking out of the way, nailing a standing moonsault on a prone Mac for another two count.
JR: Mac isn't letting Hensley off easy.
Styles: No sir, he's got his game face on!
Mac struggles to his feet, dodging a spinning back kick and countering with a sweep kick. Hensley goes down, and Mac slowly ascends to the top rope. Hensley gets to his feet just in time to see Mac sailing off the top with the The Adrenaline Rush! It connects flush, and Mac quickly traps the legs in a cradle for the 1...2....3, and NO!
JR: Wow!
Styles: We almost had ourselves a new champion!
Mac rolls off into the corner as Hensley crawls up to his feet. Mac charges him, but a sloppy clothesline misses completely. Hensley pops him in his jaw when he turns about a few times then Irish whips him across the ring. He leapfrogs him on the rebound, and catches him with a swift kick to the midsection on his return. Mac stumbles over, and Hensley propels heads over to the ropes himself. He hops up onto the middle rope then springs backwards with a lionsault that plants Mac on his stomach.
JR: That's exactly what Hardcore Hensley is all about, innovation.
Styles: Nobody could say it better, JR, nice move.
Hensley doesn't try for a pin, instead quickly making it back up to his feet. He climbs up top, and preys on Mac, who slowly finds his way back up. When he turns, Hensley flies off with a cross body attack. Mac is unable to react, and gets flattened. Hensley doesn't budge, and the ref counts the fall.
1...
2...
No!
JR: No!
Styles: Close but Hensley didn't get it.
Mac's shoulder shoots up before the final slap. He tries to catch his breath, but Hensley stays on the offensive. He yanks Mac up, raising his chin before sticking him with a rough drop kick. Mac meets Hensley back up, but gets beat to the punch or kick so to speak as Hensley lays into him with stiff shots. Mac tightens up his abdomen, but he's forced to keel over soon. When he does, Hensley bounds off for the ropes again. He comes back with an axe kick that literally spikes Mac's head off of the mat. The sight of it is gruesome, and a loud "ooh" response from the crowd follows. Hensley rolls Mac over, but doesn't pin him. He scales the top another time, and measures Mac for a frog splash it would seem. He leaps, but Mac evades him at the last possible second. Hensley eats the canvas, and rolls over in agony. Mac scurries to the apron, huffing and puffing. He checks Hensley, who ends up on other side of the ring, using the ropes for leverage. Mac jumps up to the top rope, and springs off. He has his hands up, but Hensley turns out to be playing possum as he absolutely levels Mac with a superkick out of nowhere. Mac drops, and Hensley stands groggy for a moment before collapsing on top of Mac.
1...
2...
3!
NO!
JR: He kicked out, he kicked out!
Styles: Oh my god!
Mac's kick-out puts the arena in a frenzy. Both men lay quiet for a bit, their chests rising and dropping rapidly. They each crawl to opposite ends of the ring. A dueling chant starts up, encouraging both men to continue their battle. The combatants meet in the center of the ring, and slowly open up on one another. They trade big right hands, the pace picking up after each one. Surprisingly, Mac seems to gain an advantage in the exchange, and has Hensley against the ropes before he can realize it. Mac's punches cease, and he begins chopping away at Hensley's chest. A trey of Hensley shouting in his face. Mac whips Hensley across the ring. He leapfrogs him this time then gets him with a monkey flip on his return. The fans pop big time for such, and Hensley runs into Mac's fire now. Arm drag after arm drag come as Hensley is thrown around the ring by Mac.
JR: Hensley's getting tossed around like a rag doll!
Styles: Not by the Bad Man or any other giant either!
Hensley halts after a while, but Mac kicks his shin out from under him, and snaps off a pretty hurricanrana that has Hensley in a corner. Mac races after him, and splashes him huge. Hensley remains in the corner, so Mac backs up, and gives him another big splash. Still, Hensley stays, clearly dazed. A third splash from Mac is not so though as Hensley grabs him in midair. Mac's face makes the night as Hensley carries him across the ring, and rams him into the opposite corner. His grasp doesn't loosen though, and Hensley turns around, still holding Mac, and slams him with an ugly spinebuster. Hensley's fan cry out in joy, but Hensley's unable to make the cover as he breathes heavily on his back.
JR: These men will not quit!
Styles: What energy, can you feel it!
He's up, but Mac isn't down. Hensley waltzes over to Mac, and hoists him up by his throat. He mouths something to him then looks for his Pizza Cutta. Mac shoves him into the ropes though. Hensley's ready for Mac when he comes, but a back elbow misconnects, and when Hensley's done spinning, he greets Mac's Sugar Spike. The crowd obliges with the move, and Mac hooks Hensley's leg eagerly.
1...
2...
3!
JR: He did it! It's over!
Styles: Ball game! Ball game! New champion!
Garcia: Your winner and NEW EWT Ox Division Champion...Charley Mac!
JR: I don't believe what I just saw!
Styles: You've got to be kidding me!
"The Rockafeller Skank" replays as the crowd has fallen dead, it would seem, in shock as Mac sprints around the ring in disbelief. The ref hands him the belt, and Mac is bobbing up and down now. He leaps up the turnbuckle, and shows off his new title with a huge grin. Meanwhile, Hensley is now up to his feet, and simply staring at Mac with his jaw practically dragging the ring. As Mac drops down, still excited, he locks eyes with Hensley. They stare down each other with Mac ultimately approaching Hensley. Their eyes are fixed for another moment before Mac finally extends his hand. Hensley's focus turns to his hand, and after a moment, he accepts it. They shake, and trade smirks. Hensley reaches for Mac's belt, and the rookie eyes him carefully, but allows him to take it. Hensley gives the belt a final glance then places it over Mac's shoulder. He gives him a nod then backs off. He rolls out, and makes his way to the back. After a long pause, Mac resumes his frantic celebrating.
JR: Well, call me a stubborn mule.
Styles: You stubborn mule!
JR: Charley Mac makes his debut, rather energetically, for loss of better words!
Styles: Ha, what a night, Hardcore Hensley's reign has finished.
JR: Just after he, at last, disposed of Poe Moe Foe too.
Styles: Tough break for Hensley, but you can be assured he'll battle back.
JR: No question, we'll leave you to Mac though. Again, what a debut!
Styles: Just, oh my god!
A few more shots of Mac holding the gold comes then we fade out to a break.
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Square
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Official Ambassador
Grand Poobah of Scavenger Hunts 2011
Square-Because he looks good at all the right angles.
Posts: 18,700
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Post by Square on Sept 19, 2008 13:01:03 GMT -5
*Bang The Doldrums(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaJrXYVAEyA), by Fall Out Boy, hits and on the Tooitron appears 3 sentances "I Do What I Want, When I Want And However I want". The crowd starts booing as Rebelious Darren Matthews walks down to the ring wearing a black hoodie and jeans. Matthews jumps into the ring and grabs a mic*
Darren Matthews: I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! And dammit too hear this angelic sound of your boos warms this rebels heart. Now I got a little problem it seems with a mr Hardcore Hensley so Hack, because guess what your no wrestler your just some stupid American garbage wrestler, I guess I have to explain to you like your a teacher at school about why I was absent from kicking your bald ass and taking away your title. Now you see I've been in Britian for the past few months because well I just burnt out a little but now the fire is hotter than ever and Hack your gonna feel it. When you rang me up I was in the beautiful city of London training to come back to EWT and I told you flat out that I couldn't make it and then you had to go and open your gob calling me a bitch. So Hack I want to challange you, to a tag match, but not any tag match A BRITISH BRAWL TAG MATCH! Now Hack the rules are simple, fight. Just simple realy, you see a British Brawl comes out from the northen pubs were people are glassed, have stools smashed over there head, thrown head first into winds just for looking at someone oddly. Now I guess you will be thinking who will be the person that will team with me, a man who I share the fact that we were both screwed over by the same man, a man that I share the fact that we will do anything to get what we want, a man who shares the same nationality as me. The man behind Relegate Hunters, and if you couldn't figure out the anagrams I'll give you a little clue.
*Matthews climbs out of the ring and brings into the ring a black bag, he slowly opens the bag and shows a snooker cue*
Matthews: ANDY "THE EAGLE" DAVIDSON!
*Rooftops, by Lost Prophets, hits and Davidson appears on the ramp, carrying a snooker cue and wearing a Gaurdinals t-shirt, to a massive cheer from the crowd. Davidson stops halfway down the ramp, looks among the crowd, and rips off The Gaurdinals shirt showing his Eagle tattoo on his chest. Davidson climbs into the ring, hugs Matthews and takes the mic of him*
Andy Davidson: I guess you guys remember me. Cheers, now I guess I better explain myself why I've been away. Well you see like Darren mentioned when he was introducing me, we were both screwed over by the same guy. John Valentine. John me and you were doing awesome, we were so close to those tag titles it was unatural, but then you changed. You won the Tri State title and became some arrogant, pathetic little boy. Toomi was right to strip that title off you, because it was a WRESTLING title and not some stupid backyard crap. After the Escalator to Heaven match and THAT spear my back was screwed, and when I was in Preston Hospital after having surgery, not my former tag partner and "friend" but Darren. Darren came to me with a idea, help each other out. And I guess that was the birth of Team MAD, Matthews and Davidson. So Hensley if you have the balls to take us on you better PRAY that we have ring rust, because we are hungry for some compitition.
Matthews: And we do what we want, when we want and however we want
Davidson: And we don't make simple threats, we just make promises.
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Post by Spankymac is sick of the swiss on Sept 21, 2008 1:45:12 GMT -5
*Cut to Todd Grisham in the back*
Grish: We're waiting here for our first official interview with new Ox Division Champ, "High Energy" Charley Mac....
*Mac runs in, nearly sliding past Todd as he puts the breaks on, still ecstatic over his title win*
Mac: Let me tell ya...Tim? Tom? Tad? Todd? Todd? Cool, Todd. Let me tell ya, Todd, I'm HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPED to be here in EWT, and even more excited to debut by winning a belt, baby. I gotta say, it's great to be snatchin' belts off the big dogs my first day in, man. Hardcore Hensley, I respect you, you're a good dude, and I know you're onto bigger and better things, but anytime you want a rematch, or another go, you got it. That was a RUSH, bro. But onto the next step of the process.
Grish: And what's that?
Mac: Glad you asked, Tim. Well, you oughta know, I'm ALL ABOUT the adrenaline rush, so I'm issuing an open challenge. *Raps on the belt with a knuckle* You want this, boys and girls? Come and get it. I'm taking all comers. Big or small, short or tall, man or woman, I'll take 'em all. All you gotta do, is throw down the gauntlet, and it's ON! *Mac sprints off, laughing loudly*
Grish: And that's the word, from "High Energy".
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Post by hardcorehensley on Sept 23, 2008 21:20:31 GMT -5
Various shots of the EWT Arena transition through the screen.Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em! Hit em!Lillian Garcia: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...Hardcore Hensley! Jim Ross: Hardcore Hensley is in the building, folks! Joey Styles: "The Hardcore One" has arrived! Hensley steps out onto the stage dressed in slop. He stands for a moment, glancing around with an uncertain look on his face. He bows his head, and makes his way to the ring.JR: Hensley doesn't appear to be in the happiest of moods. Styles: Well, the last time he entered that ring, he did lose the EWT Ox Division Championship. He circles the ring area, peaking his head every now and again before climbing the steel steps. He enters the squared circle, and shows Garcia a small smirk. She returns him a smile, and reaches out with her microphone. Hensley accepts it with a nod then waits for her to exit. After another look throughout the arena, he brings the mic up to his pale lips.Hensley: I'm sure the majority of you expect me to take Charley Mac up on his offer. That's not why I'm out here though. You see, the EWT Ox Division Championship, I saw it as a path in my career. A path that lasted almost half of a year. That path's over now, however. Charley got me. He had the element of surprise, I'm sure he came somewhat prepared, and just right place, right time. Good for him. Charley, I don't even wanna rematch. At least, not at the moment. You just go out, and be sure to represent. I'll let you know when to keep a lookout for me. He lowers his mic to sigh.Hensley: Darren Matthews, no comment. He chuckles to himself as he lowers his mic again. He checks out the ringside audience members.Hensley: What now, where do you go from here, what's next. I know those are what some of you are thinking. My next move isn't simple because, to be honest, I don't really know what it is... His words trail off, and seems to go into a trance, staring deeply into the mat. Rambling from the crowd picks up. After a short while, he shakes his head, and raises his head.Hensley: I'm going now...goodbye... With that, Hensley releases his grasp, and his mic plummets to the canvas. He stares downward briefly again then rolls out of the ring. He marches up the ramp, never looking back, never even raising his head. He disappears into the back, the entire place left speechless...
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