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Post by J.D. Cooper on May 12, 2008 22:39:19 GMT -5
Location: Washington/Oregon Border. Approx. 30,000 ft. above sea-level. A video opens on an airplane, a Boeing 727 to be exact. A man is sitting alone in the back of a crowded cabin. The camera, positioned at the front of the cabin, slowly zooms towards this man. He is in his late 30's or early 40's. He is weraing a black suit, white dress shirt, a skinny black tie, a mother-of-pearl tie-clip, and sunglasses. He has short dark black hair that is parted to the left. His hairline is high. In a few years, he will probably be bald. He is attractive. Not handsome, but above-average in looks. A young, sexy flight attendant walks by with a beverage cart. She stops, and prepares to ask him if he wants anything. Man: Before you ask, no, I do not want anything to drink right now. Perhaps later. Flight Attendant: Sir, this is a very short flight. We will be landing in less than half an hour. Man: If you say so...then no. I will not have anything. But will you take this? He reaches into an interior jacket pocket and pulls out a small note, folded over once. The flight attendant takes it, looks flattered, and slips it down her cleavage. She pushes the beverage cart into the back of the cabin.After a moment, the man pushes the "call" button. The same flight attendant comes back.Man: I'm sorry ma'am, there seems to have been a misunderstanding. I'm not trying to make a pass at you. Go back to the attendants' quarters, and read what I wrote. You will know what to do from there. The attendant, now upset, goes back to the attendants' quarters. After a moment, she briskly walks towards the cockpit dropping the note along the way. The camera focuses in on the note, and now it can be read. It is written in small, neat, blank ink. It says.You Are Being Hijacked. I Have a Bomb in my Briefcase. Go tell the pilot. Once you complete this come back to me. I have another note. On that note are my commands. No one needs to get hurt. Have a nice day.The sceen fades to black, and the following is comes across the screen:J.D. Cooper Coming Soon to EWT
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Post by hardcorehensley on May 13, 2008 11:37:20 GMT -5
We go to the parking lot where Poe Moe Foe is shown sitting on top of a random car. It's difficult to make out what he's doing. Sum Guy appears, but before he can try to question Foe, Hardcore Hensley rushes into view. He smears Foe, and opens up on him with stiff shots. Foe covers up, and the instance Hensley lays off, comes back with a painful straight right. The champ falls off, dazed for a moment. Foe takes the upper hand, mounting him, and letting loose with rights and lefts of his own. Hensley never blocks any, but manages to kick Foe backwards. He crawls over him, and pours in some heavy MMA-style elbows. The cut from last night on Hensley's face has been reopened, and several have been constructed on Foe's now, from the bows. Sum Guy could be heard screaming throughout all this, crying out for help. At last, security arrives. A trio of men yank Hensley back. He fights ruthlessly to escape, but more come in on him. Foe, meanwhile, is swarmed by a dozen of his own. They pin him on the ground. The rivals continue trading smack, also attempting to fend off the men in black. The EWT Management Representative now comes into play. He barks orders, pointing fingers towards both men.
"I TOLD YOU, THERE WON'T BE A HENSLEY/FOE!"
6.1.08
EWT Crosses the Border with...
Crap-A-Mania Cinco
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MrBRulzOK
Wade Wilson
Mr No-Pants Heathen
Something Witty Here.
Posts: 26,719
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Post by MrBRulzOK on May 13, 2008 13:23:02 GMT -5
We cut to the backstage area, as we see the newest member of the EWT staff, the sort of familiar face, Jumbo "The Planet" Mass, who is wearing a blue and green suit that looks WAY TOO SMALL for him, practically bursting at the seams.
Jumbo: *With surprising charisma* Greetings all... I'm Jumbo "The Planet" Mass! Recently hired by Toomi in agreement that I wouldn't sue the company after what happened, I now have a job here for life! Yeah... take that unemployed people!!!
Mass gives a cocky grin, seemingly proud of his new position, as a few people pass by, not seeming to care at the beyond obese man's accomplishment.
Jumbo: Alright then... and now for my first interview, I am here with... the former EWT Champion and leader of the Platinum Association, the one and only... Chance Confidence!
Chance: ... You smell like rotten sewage.
Jumbo: HEY!
Chance: Hey, I'm just being honest. Tell me, how many scales have you broken?
Jumbo: ... None of your damn business punk! Now let's get this over with... your ruining my debut baby!
Chance: *glaring* DON'T call me baby...
Jumbo: Alright Chance... as we all saw at the PITAR, you came in and did pretty well for yourself, until... well, you got eliminated accidentally by one of your subordinates. Jack Jupiter I think right?
Chance: Well... for such a lump of useless weight, you're pretty competent... which is more than I can say for most of our idiotic interviewers. Yes, that's right... but you know what? I'm not mad, because you see, it was simply an unfortunate accident, just like you said. Jack obviously didn't know what he's doing. I mean, he usually doesn't anyway, but that day must've been one of those days where he just completely shut down that brain of his...
Jumbo: Yeah... there ya go...
Chance: *angrily* Silence! I wasn't finished speaking...
The former champion quickly clears his throat.
Chance: I have no problems with the actions of my... associate. His heart was in the right place, which is the preservation of my glorious title reign, which was cut short... just like all of my title reigns it seems. However, that's absolutely fine with me, because this week, I have a chance to remedy this situation, by beating a man that I'm no stranger to, one David Dave Davies. A man that I have beaten before, as many of these peons will recall. In fact, it was soon after my debut I believe. He was the first of the EWT roster to fall to my glorious skill... and now that I've matured and become even more of a threat than I was back then... ol Davy won't stand a bloody chance.
Jumbo: Bold words there...
Chance: Not as bold as that ridiculous outfit you're wearing, you gelatinous glob.
Jumbo: HEY!
Chance: So I have some words of advice for you, Davester... I want you to take that belt, admire the splendor of it, bask in it's glory, hell... you can even molest it like that giant bird did with his, or better yet, use it to whip some sense into that clueless companion of your's... because you won that thing by mere FLUKE! Flukes only happen once dear boy... and I'm going to make sure it doesn't happen again, because you are not facing a mere wrestler... you are facing a wrestling deity and by my divine hand, I will STRIKE YOU DOWN AND TAKE BACK WHAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGS AROUND MY WAIST! In the end... you, Davies, will be left... JUST JEALOUS!
Chance gives a very serious look, before turning around, looking one more time at Jumbo Mass, who simply stands there, before turning around and walking off screen. The rather massive interviewer turns his head back.
Jumbo: Well there you have it... Chance is determined to dethrone the new champ before his reign even begins! Can the former EWT, Tristate, and even Toolshed Champion accomplish this task... or will Dave Davies be able to make his first successful title defense?! I guess we'll have to wait and see...
Jumbo wipes some sweat off his forehead, as he waddles away as well, as we cut to a video package for Poe Foe Moe.
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Tiffany
Mike the Goon
Don't ask me. I'm just a girl... aheheh, aheheh...
Posts: 39
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Post by Tiffany on May 13, 2008 14:32:52 GMT -5
"It's Tiffany, Bitch..."Toni "T.G." Garcya: Ladies & gentlemen, please welcome at this time... TIFFANY!!! *The music of Tiffany, which hasn't been heard in EWT in MONTHS, plays & the bimbo struts out, trying her very best to look seductive. She draws the cheers & cat-calls of the males eager to see her in the nip in an upcoming Playboy. She stumbles as she walks down the ramp. Smiling to hide her embarassment. She steps into the ring, tripping over the bottom rope. She asks "T.G." for a mic & her music fades out.* Tiffany: Thanks, Tommy. What's up EWT?! *The crowd mostly boos her.* Tiffany: Thanks, it's great to be back! You guys may have heard... I'll be appearing in a little magazine called, Playboy... *Wolf-whistles & cheers from horny males; some boos from the rest of the crowd.* Tiffany: I think with everyone's support we can make this the best selling issue EVER! Don't let me down guys. Now, onto the subject of Crap-A-Mania Stinko, down in Mexico, I'm up for a shot at the GND Title [she pronounces GND as one word; like gonad without the vowels]. The other girls are the current champ & full-time ugly broad, Synthy Harris, my good pal Jasmyne &... uhhh... some other girls I forget, but the fact is that they've never been in Playboy... they prolly never WILL be. With the support of all my loyal fans I know I can give everyone a GND champion they can admire. For too long, we've had to endure that unsightly girl as champ. I can help restore pesteege to the title. Make it into something that women will be proud of. I'm a role model. And if women don't want to aspire to be like the best female wrestler in the world, then we as a company are not doing our job in promoting the best. When I lift that title at Crap-A-Mania Stinko, you'll finally know what it's like to have a female champion you can all finally be proud of. *"Gimme More" starts playing again. Tiff beams a smile & blows a kiss to the audience before she exits up the ramp. She stops just under the Toomitron, turns around to face the crowd again & points upwards. A giant banner unfurls above her.* *It's Tiff's Playboy cover. The desperate single males whoop yet again. Tiffany blows another kiss & heads on to the back.* *A video package hyping Crap-A-Mania Cinco plays.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 14, 2008 23:31:05 GMT -5
*We see a car driving down the highway & zoom in. Inside the car is Ogre with Sum Guy driving alongside him.*
Hey Rog, are we there yet?
Sum Guy: Ogre, please. I told you it's Sum & no, we are not.
Ogre: Ok Rog. Hey Rog, look....a hot chick. Think I can score with her?
Sum: Geeze Ogre...I may be stupid, but not even I talk like that.
Ogre: Just pick her up Rog or I will kick your ass again.
Sum: Ok, ok...calm down. Geeze...why the hell do I have to help you find A-Bomb anyways?
Ogre: Because...you just do!
*They pull over & pick up the female hitchiker. Sum takes a double look at her as Ogre shoves his head away & climbs into the backseat.*
Ogre: So, aahh, what are you doing hitchiking?
Hitchiker: Living easy, living free Season ticket on a one-way ride Asking nothing, leave me be Taking everything in my stride Don't need reason, don't need rhyme Ain't nothing I would rather do Going down, party time My friends are gonna be there too I'm on the highway to hell
Ogre: Um...Ok. Wanna have sex?
*Cut to Sum in the front seat with a look of disgust when suddenly, a shirt flies onto his face & we cut to commercial.*
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The Line
Patti Mayonnaise
Real Name: Bumkiss. Stanley Bumkiss.
Peanut Butter & JAAAAAMMMM!
Posts: 36,698
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Post by The Line on May 15, 2008 0:08:34 GMT -5
We are taken outside Andy Duke's locker room. The door is ajar, and the camera see's him. He is sitting down in his locker. He is dialing a number on his cell phone. He sighs.
Duke: Hey 'Lexa....was hoping to get something other than voicemail. You should know I'm not very good at this. So, you probably know I have a title shot at Crap-a-Mania V. Its in Mexico City before. I've only been to Mexico one other time, and it was with you....they gave me a skybox at the arena, and since I don't really have much in the way of family, I was thinking you should use it. And if you've talked to Jonathan at all, invite him as well. I haven't talked to him since...well, you know. It would be nice to have a familiar face in the crowd is all. Well 'Lexa, I love y-.....good bye.
Duke hangs up. He is upset. Not angry. But still a little flustered. He spots the camera, and gets up and closes the door. Fade to black.
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Post by xombiehiphop on May 15, 2008 8:27:43 GMT -5
Announcer: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall..making his way to the ring..weighing in at 235 pounds..Ghost Face!"
"You Lied" begins to play as Ghost Face heads for the ring, strands of his white dreadlocks hanging in front of his face, which carries an emotionless stare. Upon entering the ring, he climbs to the middle rope and strikes his pose, soon sitting upon the top rope, awaiting the arrival of his opponent..
Mick Foley: "Well, here's the gentleman that, unfortunately, drew the number one spot in the Rumble the last time we saw him."
Michael Cole: "And he's about to meet the individual that he last faced, just before being eliminated!"
"Trik's Of The Trade" is heard as Trik Turner heads for the ring, pausing to stare at his opponent who hasn't budged an inch since perching upon the top rope. Trik slips inside via the middle rope..
Cole: "As we know, Trik Turner will be facing Spaz at Crap-a-Mania and there will be no love loss in that one. But I have to wonder if Turner is looking past Ghost Face here."
Foley: "Well, that would be a very foolish move because, as unstable as he is, Ghost Face is a very dangerous competitor. He said that he has a lot of respect for Ghost Face, so I don't think he'll be taking him lightly.."
The bell sounds and Ghost Face seems to "come to life", leaping off and surprising Trik with a Missile Dropkick, nailing him directly in the chest. Ghost Face tosses off his jacket and kneels beside Trik, pummeling him with right hands to the skull. Trik stumbles to his feet, still stunned, and Ghost Face backs him into a corner with kicks to the stomach and right hands. Trik is pulled out of the corner and whipped into the ropes, taken by a Clothesline. Ghost Face quickly goes for a cover, hoping his surprise attack will pay off in a quick victory..
One..
Two..
..Kick out!
Foley: "A lot of aggression here from Ghost Face in the early going. Perhaps he holds Trik responsible for his elimination in the Rumble. He was so focused upon him that he didn't notice Spaz sneak in from behind until it was too late."
Ghost Face starts to choke Turner until the ref ceases the illegal tactic with the usual count. Ghost Face gives Trik a few boots to the head before backing up and running the ropes. However, Trik surprises him with a Spear that knocks him through the middle rope, to the outside of the ring. Ghost Face gets to his feet, using the guard rail, but as he gets close enough to the apron, Trik knocks him back down with a baseball slide. Trik then climbs up on the ring apron, sprints forward, and leaps towards Ghost Face who is able to narrowly shift away, leaving Trik to crash into the guardrail. Ghost Face takes a moment to shake the cobwebs before pulling Trik back to his feet. He proceeds to slam Trik against the guardrail with a sweeping STO, arching his back along the structure!
Cole:"Oh! I don't think I've ever seen that before!"
Foley: "Me either but I can tell you one thing. That HAD to hurt."
Ghost Face rolls Trik back into the ring and climbs onto the apron. He spring boards upwards and dives forward, but Trik is able to catch him with a Body Slam in mid-air!
Cole: "And an excellent counter by Trik!"
Trik slowly gets back to his feet, holding his back. He lays a few stomps down onto Ghost Face as he rolls away. As Ghost Face is able to return to his feet, Trik shoves him into the corner with a Shoulder Thrust, before unloading upon his adversary with left and rights, similar to the situation he was in earlier. Trik goes to whip Ghost Face to the opposite corner, but the dreadlocked fiend reverses the momentum and pulls Turner into a Drop-Toe-Hold. With Trik on his stomach, Ghost Face climbs onto his back and begins to pummel him with forearm shots to the back of the head. Ghost Face allows Trik some breathing room, only to knock him off his feet with a Knee Lift, the sound of his kneecap crashing into his jaw causing a loud "SMACK" noise. Trik crawls back to his feet and Ghost Face once again goes for a Knee Lift, only for Trik to step aside and catch him with a Full Nelson Slam. Turner goes for a cover..
..One..
..Two..
..A shoulder up!
Cole: "Back and forth action here, neither man letting up an inch."
After the kick out, Ghost Face gets to his feet as Trik chooses the exact same moment to drop him with a Running Flying Clothesline. Ghost Face starts to get back to his feet, but Turner continues with a second, and even a third similar clothesline. Pulling Ghost Face up by his hair, Trik plants him with an X-Factor. Trik Turner continues his rampage with a T-bone suplex before dropping for the pin and cover..
..One..
..Two..
..Another kick out!
Trik shoves Ghost Face into a corner, edges back a few paces, and comes rushing in with a Stinger Splash. However, Ghost Face is able dodge the move, causing Turner to smack right into a turnbuckle. Ghost Face quickly uses this to his advantage by dropping turner with a Falling Reverse DDT. A cover follows..
..One..
..Two..
..Not enough!
Ghost Face throws Trik into the ropes and as he rebounds, spikes him with a Michinoku Driver, directly on the top of his head, in one fluid motion. Ghost Face snatches a leg, holding it tight for a cover.
..One..
..Two..
..Yet another kick out!
Foley: "Some very high impact moves from both men here but not enough to keep the other down!"
Ghost Face proceeds to lock in a Reverse Dragon Sleeper which Trik refuses to submit from. The crowd isn't sure who to root for but a portion of the masses is willing Trik on. After being locked in the hold for some time, Trik arises to his feet, breaking the hold with a few elbows to the ribs. Trik goes for a Backbody Drop, but Ghost lands upon his feet. He boots Trik in the gut and positions him for a DDT, motioning to the crowd, but Trik squirms free and returns with a boot to the mid-section of his own. Trik sets Ghost Face up into a Piledriver position, but Ghost Face powers out, flipping him over, which Trik manages to land unharmed by landing on the sole of his boots. Both men instantly spin around to face one another and seem to have the same idea in mind. They both attempt to an Enziguri and both men nail the other in the side of the head. The combatants both crumble to the mat, gripping their necks in the process..
Suddenly, Spaz's music hits as he makes his way to the ring. Spaz comes to ringside but joins Cole & Foley at the announcer's table..
Spaz: "I hope you gentlemen don't mind me joining you."
Foley: "Not at all. It's always a pleasure to have a former World Champion out here with us."
Spaz: "That's right, a World Champion. Something Turner here will never get unless he wises up. You see, he claims I do not respect him nor the fans, yet little does he know is that I actually volunteered to wrestle twice at Crap-a-mania."
Cole: "Really?"
Spaz: "Yes sir, sure did. But management did not feel it be a wise move."
Back in the ring, Trik gets to his feet & starts yelling at Spaz.
Trik: "Just what the hell are you doing here? You have no right to be here!!"
Spaz: What this young man needs to do is focus more on his match & less on me.
Ghostface comes up behind Trik & hits him with a German Suplex. Ghostface starts kicking at Trik. Ghostface scoops up Trik & throws him into the ropes, but Trik ducks a chop. Trik bounces back off the ropes & nails a dropkick on him. Trik grabs Ghostface & sets him up for a Trik Turner, but yells some more at Spaz.
Trik: "Watch this!! This will be you June 1st!!!"
Ghostface manages a back bodydrop on Trik.
Spaz: "Yep, that will be me reversing the move. This young fella had trouble with a fine competitor like HitmanMark & we all know how great a career HitmanMark had here in EWT.."
Ghostface grabs Trik & hits him with the Death Trap, locking in the Guillotine Choke tightly. Trik holds on for as long as he can before being forced to tap ..
Announcer: "Here is your winner....Ghost Face!!!"
Ghostface releases the hold and has the referee raise his hand in victory. Ghost Face then shoves the referee away and begins stomping away at the downed Turner. Spaz quickly slides into the ring & stares down Ghostface. Ghostface glares back at Spaz before deciding to slither out of the ring, still staring at the interloper with an expression of hate. Spaz steps over to Trik & helps him up, brushing him off. Spaz then turns his back & leaves the ring as Trik stands there with a glossy look on his face, unsure of what to make of this..
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Post by hardcorehensley on May 15, 2008 14:53:04 GMT -5
EWT Management's Representative is shown in his office. He's doodling on a pad when Hardcore Hensley bursts through the entrance. He shoves a pair of security men away before jerking the man across his own desk.
"LOOK, YOU LITTLE PREPPY B****! I don't give a damn what you, or management thinks! I want that motherf***er, and you're gonna give em to me!"
The men go to grab the champ, but the Representative waves them off. He asks for his release, and Hensley obliges. As he's dusting himself off though, Poe Moe Foe emerges onto the scene. He clubs Hensley from behind, sending him over the desk, nearly taking out the Representative. Foe climbs after him, and the two start wailing away. Tens of men pour into the room, trying desperately to separate the rivals. They manage to at least get them an arm's width apart. Just then, the Representative steps back in.
"I AM GETTING SO TIRED OF THIS NONSENSE! YOU WANT HIM?!"
He glares at Hensley while pointing towards Foe. "The Hardcore One" immediately nods, still attempting to break free.
"YOU WANT HIM?!"
He repeats himself, except this time he's staring down Foe while pointing at Hensley. Foe does exactly as Hensley did.
"Very well, I'll make a formal decision next week concerning both of you, and Crap-A-Mania Cinco. In the meantime, if either one of you so much as looks at the other, I'll have you both suspended indefinitely without pay."
He walks out of view as Hensley and Foe both cease and desist. A final shot sees them growling and snarling at one another, appearing ready to foam at the mouth even.
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default
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Blames Everything On Snitsky. Yes, Even THAT.
Posts: 17,056
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Post by default on May 16, 2008 13:16:37 GMT -5
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5_YmU3_Z1k"Ain't That A Kick In The Head" by Westlife picks up on the speakers as Sammy Stardust heads to the ring in a black tuxedo. He has purpose in his step, as he power walks down the entrance ramp with a cold look in his eyes. He stops by a crew member ducked down at ringside and begins motioning with a slit across his throat to cut the music. He points to the back and motions again as the crew member seems confused and motions that he doesn't do that. Stardust shakes his head and slides into the ring quickly storming across the ring and asking for a mic.Stardust: Cut the music. Cut the music now. Stardust lowers the mic and stares up at the entrance until the music stops.Stardust: Thank you. Stardust tucks the mic between his shoulder and tilts his head to hold it in place as he rubs a hand through his golden brown hair. Stardust then snatches the microphone and holds it up by his chin and begins to speak.Stardust: Now the past few weeks I've had here have been somewhat of a wakeup call to me, I guess. And I don't mean just the last two losses I've suffered. With the amount of sheer talent and various variables involved in The Royal Pain in the Ass Rumble... I lost my killer instinct. Somewhere along the line of training and living and breathing strategy, outcomes and everything else orbiting around that match, I accepted the loss. I said to myself as long as I had a good showing, that would be enough. I let myself down. I set myself up for failure. Hindsight is twenty/twenty is the expression and I see now I was eliminated long before my entry. That's not me. Now Bullz-I. I have nothing but respect for you after that match. I respect you for doing whatever it takes for a victory. Anyway it comes. Anything you have to do. If you have to lie, if you have to cheat, if you have to bend or break every rule in the book. I can respect that. Stardust lowers the mic and glances around the quiet crowd before raising the mic.Now that's not to say this is some lovefest. I don't see us trading Christmas cards or hanging out on weekends playing with our Wiis. The truth is, I know that deep down... Stardust takes the mic and slaps it against his chest near his heart twice. He looks up and then back down and taps it again twice against his guts. He looks up once more and then back down yet again and taps the mic off the crotch of his tuxedo pants twice. Stardust raises the mic back up and continues to talk.Stardust: I know that deep down, I've got what it takes to beat you. Even with one arm. Stardust again pauses. He paces around the ring and stops, taking a deep breath before continuing his speech.Stardust: Which brings me to my next point. I've had some time to soul search. A chance to take a look around from a different point of view. I see some see me as some sort of fun-loving freak show rather than a future feature attraction. The truth? Maybe I am. Obviously, I don't see myself as such. A 13-3 amateur boxing background should count for something. But then again, I'm far from a salesman. I'm not known for keeping my ear to teh streets so I'm not big on marketing. And hey, maybe there's still some resentment. This career wasn't exactly my first choice. I mean, I'm here doing what I'm doing because I can't do what I did do. I mean, I'm well aware there are a lot of guys out that dying to be in the position I'm in, doing what I'm doing. And I can't lie. If I could get cleared to box again in straight fights, and not sideshow circus spars, I wouldn't look back. If that makes me a bad guy... Stardust trails off as he turns his attention to the stage, as a man in a suit points to his watch and motions for him to head to the back.Stardust: Oops. I guess I'm in trouble... or, else I'm just out of time. Makes sense. I'm sure there are a lot of people more deserving of mic time than me. You know, guys with matches to hype for Crap-a-mania. Oh, and before I go... no music, please. And with that, Stardust drops the mic and heads to the back.
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Post by Bobby Heenan & Gorilla Monsoon on May 16, 2008 16:34:48 GMT -5
The screen goes black and "O Fortuna Remix" by Therion( youtube.com/watch?v=yzAe_xWpJgM ) starts to play. As the music plays little messages start to appear followed by glimpses of a soon to debut wrestler. [glow=red,2,300]He is coming.[/glow] (A black and white video pops up and Jason Raid is doing push ups but we can't see his face.) [glow=red,2,300]He is powerful.[/glow] (Another black and white video pops up and Jason Raid is lifting up a huge weight over his head while the camera looks to his back still not seeing his face. He drops it as it crashes to the ground with what looks to be great impact even though we can't hear it.) [glow=red,2,300]He will conquer all.[/glow] (Black and white video pops up and Jason Raid is jousting with someone. They are using pugil-sticks and Jason knocks the other smaller guy off easy. He has a helmet on so we still can't see his face.) [glow=red,2,300]He has the greatest manager ever. [/glow] (Black and white video of Mick Badamle is shown cheering on Jason as he is doing chin ups at a very fast pace.) [glow=red,2,300]At Crap-a-mania Cinco he will begin his RAID upon EWT!!![/glow] (Black and white video comes up and we now see Jason's serious face looking straight into the camera as he wears his Roman style helmet.) [glow=red,2,300]He is "The Mightiest Gladiator" Jason Raid!!![/glow]
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The White Boys
Mike the Goon
Rammer Jammer, Yellowhammer, give 'em hell, Alabama!
Posts: 7
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Post by The White Boys on May 17, 2008 21:22:04 GMT -5
*We open on a stand-up comedy club somewhere in the South. It is filled with people. On stage is Larry the Cable Guy. Everyone is laughing at his jokes.* Larry the Cable Guy: My sister is covered in moles. We used to just call her "Ole Moley". Then she went down to the church and got saved, now we call her "Holy Moley". And she married a Mexican feller, now we call her "Guaca-Moley"! *The audience laughs, but when they die down, there is one person still laughing. It is very loud and sounds sarcastic. As it dies down, Larry just ignores it and moves on.* Larry the Cable Guy: Anyway, my sister was getting married, and she's a big ol' sumbitch. Her friends were about as fat as she is and she bought them all matching brown dresses they looked like a bunch of UPS trucks parked in the middle of parking lot. *The audience laughs, and once again that one person still laughs after the audience stops. Larry looks around, but it dies down; and Larry moves on.* Larry the Cable Guy: Okay. Anyway, on the day of her wedding, she needed to fix her hair. Well, she walks in while I was taking a crap once and says "I gotta get my hairspray." All of sudden, she says "Uh smells like crap in here." What do you think's coming out of my butt, Twizzlers? *The audience laughs, but the man with his sarcastic laugh drowns them out. Some people look around, annoyed at this guy, but he keeps on laughing.* Larry the Cable Guy: I’m sorry folks, but we got us some kind of broken robot in the audience. Laughing man: A ha ha ha! Did you hear that Justin? He called me a robot! Isn’t a that just hi-larious!? Justin: *softly strumming a guitar with a Confederate flag design* Whatever you say, Jason? Larry the Cable Guy: Now, I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed; but I know that daggum sarcasm whens I hear it. And, that right there is sarcasm. Jason: Did you hear that, Justin? He knows the meanin’ of the word sarcasm! Well, I never imagined that he would ever know such a word. Isn’t that amazin’, Justin? Justin: Yeah, amazin’. Larry the Cable Guy: Do we have a problem here? Jason: *standing up* Yes, we do a problem here! *He starts walking towards the stages. Justin gets up and follows him.* Jason: You see, Southerners are usually portrayed dumb country bumpkins, blabberin’ idiots that backwards in their ways, people who are obsessed with NASCAR and football and believe that professional wrestling are real, and racists bigots. *Justin and Jason walk up on stage.* Jason: And, you are one the reasons why. Larry the Cable Guy: Hey, it ain’t my daggum fault. Jason: I didn’t say that is was, stupid! I said that you are part of the problem, not the problem itself. Clean the earwax from you ears and LISTEN! Larry the Cable Guy: Hey, I did that with my car keys before I came on stage, because I want to impress the ladies! *Larry does some fake muscle poses as the audiences laughs. Jason just looks disgusted.* Justin: I told ya he’d be this way. Jason: Shut-up! *grabs Larry* Look here! My problem with is that you reinforce every single negative stereotype that has been put onto the Southern people, that you have become rich off of it, and that you aren’t really from the South. You’re from Nebraska! Hell, your name isn’t even “Larry!” It’s Dan Whitney! And, that accent is faker than the orgasm of porn star! Larry the Cable Guy: Yeah, so what!? If you don’t like, then you and boyfriend can get the hell out!!!! *The audience cheers and claps loudly. Jason suddenly grabs Justin’s guitars blasts Larry the Cable Guy in the head. The audience stares in stunned silence. Suddenly, Jeff Foxworthy comes out. He bends over Larry.* Jeff Foxworthy: Oh my God! What the hell is wrong with you guys!? Jason: Hey! Jeff Foxworthy! I got a redneck joke for ya! *impersonating Jeff Foxworthy* If you create a genre of comedy that makes fun of rednecks and become rich doing it, then you might be an asshole. *Jason kicks Jeff Foxworthy in the throat. He jumps on Foxworthy and punches him in the head several dozen times. Suddenly, some men in the audience rush the stage, but Justin jumps off and lands on them with a shooting star press. Then, he punches and kicks a few people he didn’t take down. Then, Ron White comes out.* Ron White: Hey, hey, hey! What are you doin’ to my friends!? Jason: YOU WANT SOME THIS, RON!? Ron White: Uh…we’re not that close. *takes a sip of scotch* *Jason gets up and grabs the microphone as Justin gets back on stage.* Jason: Listen up, people! Y’all may hate us for what we have done here, but that doesn’t matter to us. Because, we want to destroy those negative stereotypes the Northern media has place upon us. We will fight, scratch, and claw to our very last breath to see the day that everyone treats Southern people with the utmost respect. However, because of the bias against Southern people, the only place we could find that would allow us is professional wrestling. That does not matter to me and my brother Justin for we love wrestling with a passion. So, we want all of y’all to pay close attention to EWT for we about to hit that place like a hurricane. The South will rise again, and the White Boys will see to it! *Jason throws down the microphone, and he and Justin walk out.*
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Post by The Caribbean Crew on May 18, 2008 21:06:11 GMT -5
*We open up on a bar/restaurant somewhere in Miami. Smoke fills the air like a fog in London, despite the fact that there are no smoking signs around. It blends with the smell of Cuban food being cooked in the restaurant. It is quite hot, with the only things to cool the place being cheap air conditioning, oscillating fans, and beer from the bar. The place is also quite loud with salsa music playing from a radio. It’s pretty empty, except for the staff and one man eating ropa vieja at a table far away from the door. Four white American college kids, two boys and two girls walk into the place and sit down at the bar.* Guy #1: Bartender. Four beers, por fay-vor. *The bartender rolls his eyes and walks over to the college kids.* Bartender: What kind would ju like? Guy #1: Well, since we are in Miami, let’s go Spanish. Some Coronas, please. Bartender: Fine. *The bartender pulls out four Coronas from a long fridge behind the bar. He places them on the bar in front of the college kids and opens them with a bottle opener. The college kids take them.* Guy #2: A toast to the fine city of Miami—the city that never sleeps! *They all toast and drink their Coronas. Guy #1 then looks around. He sees the man eating at the far end of the restaurant. He looks at him very carefully and notices he looks familiar. He gets up and walks over to the man. Then, his eyes go wide.* Guy #1: Excuse me. *The man looks at him for a second and goes back to eating.* Guy #1: I hate to be rude, but are you… Man eating: No, mang. I’m no Al Pacino. I just look like him, a lot. Guy #1: You DO look like him. The resemblance is uncanny. *to his friend* Hey dude! Come check this out! This guy looks like Al Pacino! Guy #2: Really!? *walks over to his friend and the guy eating* OH MY GOD! He does. *notices the scar* In fact, you like him in… Man eating: “Scarface.” Yeah, mang. Ju not the first to notice, an’ ju sure as hell ain’t gonna be last, mang. Guy #1: So, you get that all the time. Man eating: Yeah, mang. I look like Tony Montana. I sound like Tony Montana. Hell, my name is Tony… Guy #2: *interrupting him* Montana!? Tony: No, Colón. Guy #1: Dude, that would have been so cool if your name was Tony Montana! Tony: Not really. *scoops up some rice and eats it* Guy #1: What do you mean? Guy #2: Yeah, that movie rocked. Tony: *drinks some coffee from a cup next to the plate* Ju gringos may like that movie, but Cubanos no like it at all, mang. Guy #2: How could Cubans not like “Scarface”? Tony: They find it racists to Cubanos, because it portrays us as criminals and thugs. And, it had gringos playing Cubanos. Guy #1: And, you don’t like that movie because of it’s racists. Tony: Well, that there is a reason, but I no like it mainly because that damn movie got my ass kicked all my life. Everyone kept callin’ me “Tony Montana” and “Scarface” and sayin’ “Where’s your little friend, Tony!? Where’s your little friend!?” That shit got real annoyin’ real quick, amigo. ****in’ Al Pacino, Brian De Palma, and Oliver Stone made my life a livin’ hell. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #2: Dude! You can’t be that way. You gotta embrace that shit, man! Guy #1: Yeah, you gotta go with the joke! Tony: Go with da joke? *eats some more food* Guy #1: Yeah, you gotta embrace it. Hey! I got an idea—say “Say hello to my little friend.” Tony: *drinks some more coffee* I don’t think so, mang. Guy #1: Come on, say it! Tony: No. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #2: Say it, dude! Tony: No. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #1: Dude, just say it! Tony: No. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #2: What are you, a cockroach!? Say it! Guy #1: Yeah, don’t be a ****in’ cockroach! Say it! Tony: No. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #1: Say it, man! Guy #2: Yeah, we can make you say it! Tony: No. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #2: SAY IT! Guy #1: *holds up his fist* JUST ****ING SAY IT!!!! Tony: No. *eats some more food and drinks some more coffee* Guy #1: DAMMIT!!!! *He tries to punch Tony, but the other guy catches his fist.* Guy #2: Forget. He’s never gonna say it. *Tony just ignores them and eats his food.* Guy #1: Yeah, he’s just a f***ing cockroach! *They walk off. Tony finishes his meal and his coffee. Then, he wipes his hands, stands up, and grabs his plate.* Tony: HEY! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!! Both guys: YEAH! *As they turn around, Tony throws the plate. It hits the first guy in the nose, who bends over in pain.* Guy #1: SON OF A BITCH! Guy #2: YOU ASSHOLE!!!! *Tony quickly runs towards them. He kicks the first in the nose. This causes him to fly up and hits the other guy in the nose with his head. Tony hits the second guy in the face, knocking him out. Then, he punches the first guy in the stomach and hits him with a DDT, knocking him out as well. Tony stands up and brushes himself off. Then, he walks to the bar, pulls out his wallet, and hands the bartender some money.* Tony: Here’s for the meal and the plate, amigo. Bartender: Gracias. *takes the money* *Tony puts his wallet back in his back pocket. As he’s about to walk out, he sees to the two girls that came in with the guys.* Tony: Sorry about what I did to ju boyfriends, but they were cockroaches. Girl #1: That’s okay. They aren’t even our boyfriends. Girl #2: Yeah, we were just hanging out with them because they bought us drinks. Tony: Really? Girl #1: Yes, really. Tony: Well, I can buy ju ladies drinks. Girl #2: Really? Tony: Jeah, I’m ‘bout to go to Parkwest. Girl #1: OH MY GOD!!!! We’ve been trying to get into that club for days! Tony: Well, I can get ju ladies in there. I know the owner. Girl #2: Really!? Girl #1: We have to stop by our hotel to change into better clothes. Tony: No problemo. Just point da way. *The girls get off their barstools. Tony walks over to them and places an arm around each of their shoulders. They walk out of the bar/restaurant and walks over to a beautiful red Mustang. Tony opens the doors for the ladies, and they both get in the car. Then, Tony walks over to the driver side and gets in. Then, they drive off.*
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on May 20, 2008 4:12:03 GMT -5
*We come back from commercials and we can see Candy girl in front of the camera, proudly showing her best smile. Behind her are the Darkness in the Light, Mysth, and John “The Lion” Valentine.*
Candy Girl: Hey! I’m Candy Girl and my jean is too tight. I'm here with the Darkness in the Light, Mysth, and John "The Lion" Valentine. As of late, these two men have had... let's say... differences with the Toolshed Champion, Sigma, and "Rebellious" Derren Matthews. My first question is for John. Tell me, why exactly did you rescue Mysth during the latest assault he suffered from Sigma and Matthews?
JLV: No offense, Candy Girl, but I can't believe you're asking. I mean, ever since he won the Toolshed championship, Sigma has been a disgrace to not only the division he's representing, but also the entire EWT roster. I am ashamed that we have a champion like him, who can only get the job done by backstabbing people, and cannot display an ounce of athletic ability. And what he did to Mysth lately was the straw that broke the Camel's back! What kind of champion neeeds to hire someone to get rid of an opponent, just because they can't get over the fact they lost a match clean, then assault him two on one? So Candy Girl, I just couldn't stay like that while a man was getting mauled just to... please Sigma's ridiculously huge ego. That's why I decided to show that some people here still have a sense of solidarity and I helped Mysth.
*Mysth smiles as Candy Girl restarts talking.*
Candy Girl: Well THAT was pretty heartfelt and direct, John. I guess your message will be well heard. Now Mysth, both you and The Lion have accepted Sigma's challenge for a tag-team match. I guess that with the latest events, we can expect a very brutal match, so much actually that i wonder how you guys will prevent this match from going out of control!
*Mysth smiles again, but this time it is more of a cocky grin.*
Mysth: Candy... let's be honest... the fans out there WANT this match to get out of control and to be honest, I wouldn't mind to see it happen.
Candy Girl: Wait a second... are you implying you are ready to break the rules to beat up Sigma and Matthews?
Mysth: Not at all but... ya know, Matthews has been sneak attacking me several times lately, Sigma is the one who hired him, they both assaulted me after my last match and if escesses take place, well what must happen will happen.
JLV: But don't worry, Candy Girl. No one wants blood to be shed uselessly, right? So to make sure Sigma and Matthews kindly behave, Veronica De Marco will be at ringside.
Mysth: Exactly, John. But you know, there's someone else who'd like to be part of the party.
JLV: Really? Who could that be?
Mysth: Why, none other than the sexiest woman in the World. Yes Candy Girl, yes John, yes ladies and gentlemen, "Sexually Suggestive" Ivy Rosepine is back!
*Ivy Rosepine walks in, wearing her backstage attire. Her hair now reaches her shoulders and is back to its natural color: nuts brown.*
Ivy: Hey guys! What's up?
JLV: Welcome Back, Ivy! *He hand Rosepine shake hands.*
Candy Girl: So... if I understand, miss Rosepine, you and De Marco will manage Mysth and John Valentine during their match?
Ivy: Exactly! Veronica knows John better than I do, and I know Mysth better than Amnestria does, so that'll be the most efficient way to lead the boys to victory.
Candy Girl: And tell me... does that mean you're also back to active competition?
Ivy: Yup. You know, I wasn't on vacation while I was away. My problems with Terina made me think that I wasn't physically ready for the big time yet, so I decided to take some time off to train. Now I feel I'm ready to come back and kick some ass. The best just got better!
Mysth: hey girl, by the way, did you hear what Sigma said about the two of us?
Ivy: Yeah and that really pissed me off. I feel offended. Offended to be attacked with such horrible insults. I mean seriously, AGAIN these old cliché jokes? The Frenchman who does cuisine and the girl who happens to, gasp! NOT be ashamed of her libido, being a whore? Really that's the best the Toolshed champ can come up with? Oh well. *she shrugs* You know hon, I'd love to teach him a lesson, but you saw him first, so I guess I'll let you and Valentine handle the ass-kicking formalities this time.
Candy Girl: Well I guess that pretty much shows the state of mind we will have during the tag match. I’m Candy Girl and my jean didn’t get less tight during this interview.
*Cut to next segment.*
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Post by teamireland on May 20, 2008 14:15:25 GMT -5
*"Beer" by Reel Big Fish plays from the Toomitron, the crowd cheers as Corral and Michaels enter from behind the curtain.*
Toni "The Garc" Garcya: The following Tag-Team contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time-limit, introducing first at a combined weight of 475lbs, "Suicidal" Chad Michaels & "The Prophecy" Mike Corral... RATED X!!!
*They pose on the stage, before jogging down the ramp, high fiving fans. They circle the ring, again high fiving the crowd. The two enter the ring & climb a turnbuckle each posing for the fans before dismounting & awaiting the arrival of their opponents.* *The sinister opening strains of "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" begin playing in the EWT Arena & the crowd immediately start booing. At the upbeat of the song, Coach O'Hare walks out from behind the curtain, waving his Hurley as always. O'Hare is followed closely by Sean McCann. Sean drops to one knee & points backwards over his shoulders with his thumbs as his partner, Shane Malone emerges. Malone stands behind Sean with his arms held over his head, his fists clenched.*
"T.G.": Introducing the opponents, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare at a total combined weight of 492lbs, "The Celtic Giant" Shane Malone & "The Don Juan of Donegal" Sean McCann... TEEEEEEAAAAAM IRRRRREELAAAANNND!!!
*Team Ireland's Green, White & Gold pyro explodes at the top of the ramp as O'Hare raises the Hurley high. After the pyro explosion, Sean springs to a standing position again & turns around to face Shane. The two men bash fists together & Sean slaps Shane on the chest. Sean walks on down to the ring slightly ahead of the others. O'Hare carries the Hurley slung over his shoulder & Malone walks alongside him. Sean reaches the ring & quickly clambers up the steps, pausing at the top step to look out at the audience & give a smirk. Sean removes his silver waistcoat & tosses it to the crowd. Sean holds the top rope & springs into the ring landing on his feet. Shane gets to the ring & steps in over the top rope. O'Hare follows in, entering between the middle & top ropes. Sean runs to a ringpost & spreads his arms out in a Randy Orton-esque fashion. Shane rips off his Team Ireland shirt & tosses the shreds to the audience. The Coach continues to wave the Hurley around as he stands in the middle of the ring. The music dies down & the competitors retreat to their corners.* DING-DING!
*Shane Malone starts off the match against Chad Michaels. Malone lunges at Michaels aiming for a shoulder tackle. Michaels manages to evade the attack of "The Celtic Giant". Malone aims a clothesline at Michaels, Michaels ducks it & dropkicks Malone in the back. Shane hits the ropes. Chad takes Shane down with a Chop Block. He tries to wrap Shane's legs up in a Texas Cloverleaf. Chad ties Shane up in the hold, but before he has it on too long, Sean McCann runs into the ring & hits Chad with a dropkick. Chad releases the hold. Shane hits Michaels with a low blow as the referee tries to get Sean out of the ring. Mike Corral is yelling at the referee to pay more attention to Team Ireland's cheating. As he does so, O'Hare leaps onto the apron to choke Michaels out with his Hurley. Corral pleads with the ref all the more, but this just causes the ref to admonish Corral further & miss Team Ireland's continued infringement of the rules. O'Hare releases Michaels scant moments before the referee stops talking to Corral.* [Insert Commentary] *Shane ties Michaels up in the ropes & takes a few cheap-shots at his helpless opponent. Shane is winding up to blast Michaels with a running Big Boot when Corral enters the ring. Corral attacks Shane with a Bulldog, helps Chad out of the ropes & quickly gets out of the ring before the ref can complain to him. Michaels runs at Malone & catches him off-guard with a Step-Up Enzuguiri. Malone falls & Chad springs off the ropes aiming for a Springboard Leg Drop. Malone rolls out of the way & finally hits Chad with a clothesline. Malone quickly picks Chad back up & sets him up for an "Irish Car Bomb". Chad wriggles out & manages to slide down Malone's back. He rolls Shane up with a School Boy...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *Shane isn't ready to stay down just yet. He whips Michaels towards a corner & charges right after him for a Stinger Splash. Michaels manages to evade the attack & Malone hits the turnbuckles chest first. Michaels climbs to the top rope of that same ring-post & flies off with a Cross-Body onto Malone. He has Shane down again...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *O'Hare is going ballistic at ringside that one of his lads is getting shown up so much. Malone gets back to his feet & whips Michaels to the Team Ireland corner. Shane makes a tag to Sean. The two Irishmen try to double team Chad, but Michaels fights them off & rolls back to the Rated X corner to tag in Mike Corral. Corral ducks a double clothesline attempt from Shane & Sean & hits both Team Ireland members with a split-legged dropkick. The referee is busy getting Shane to leave the ring while Mike takes on Sean. Sean dodges a clothesline by Corral & manages to nab him from behind, grabbing a hold of his pants for a roll-up...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *Corral is pointing out to the ref that Sean was grabbing his pants to try & secure a pinfall. As Mike yaps to the ref Sean attacks from behind, dropkicking Mike into the ref. The ref gets knocked down & O'Hare tosses his Hurley into Sean. Sean swings at Corral. Mike ducks the blow & taks Sean over with a Release German Suplex. Sean rolls right back to his feet, but is completely dazed. Corral nails Sean with the G2W & segues right into a cover. Realizing that the ref is still down, Corral goes to revive him before Shane attacks with a mighty looking Spear! Micheals is about to run into the ring to attack "The Celtic Giant" but O'Hare yanks Chad off the apron before he can make a move. Michaels lands on his feet on the floor. He gives chase to O'Hare around the ring. O'Hare slides into the ring & Michaels gets caught by Malone. Shane places Chad into a Powerbomb position & pounds him on the back a few times to stop his struggling. Malone lifts Chad up onto his shoulders in a Canadian Backbreaker position. Sean heads to the top rope. Before the two men can execute the "Emerald Isle Crusher", Corral clips Shane's leg, causing him to drop Michaels, then he shakes the ropes causing Sean to lose his balance & crotch himself on the ring-post. Malone gets back to his feet, but before he can attack Rated X Chad & Mike hit him with "Plastic Surgery". Corral moves into a cover as Chad revives the ref...*
1...
2...
SEAN BREAKS IT UP!
*Sean McCann flies off the top rope, splashing onto Corral's back & interrupting the ref's count. Sean quickly scoots out of the ring & back to his own corner before either Mike or the referee can get their hands on him. Shane grabs Mike & knees him viciously in the gut. Shane sets Mike up for a Suplex. He heaves Mike up & holds him in place, showing little sign of strain. Shane continues to hold Mike up, letting the blood run to Corral's head. Mike's face is turning beetroot red. After about 45 seconds, Shane swings Mike around & Powerslams him to the mat. Shane makes a cover...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Corral isn't finished just yet. Shane makes the tag to Sean. Sean dashes into the ring & immediately springs off the ropes catching Corral with a Flying Headscissors. Corral is sent right across the ring. Sean runs to the corner nearest where Corral landed & leaps off with a Moonsault. Corral rolls out of the way & Sean lands flat on the canvas. Sean clutches at his ribs in pain. Corral picks Sean up for a Lungblower. Sean manages to counter before Mike can do the move. Sean reaches back & grabs a hold of Mike's head over his shoulder & hits "The Donegal Drop". It's all Sean can do to place an arm on Mike's chest. The refree starts counting...*
1...
2...
FOOT ON THE ROPE!
*Corral manages to get a foot to the rope. The referee informs Sean. All Sean can do is roll off his opponent. Sean is trying to crawl back to his corner, his ribs still aching. Sean is clearly experiencing alot of pain from his missed Moonsault. Corral is clutching the ropes, using them to drag himself back to the Rated X corner. Sean is making a slightly faster move toward the Team Ireland corner, but he has a greater distance to cover. Sean makes one last effort & scrambles to his corner, tagging in Shane. Shane steps in over the top rope. He's just in the ring when Corral makes the tag to Michaels. Chad steps in & aims a "Lariat from Heaven" right at Shane. Malone avoids the attack & grabs Michaels from behind for a "Dragon Slayer". Michaels manages to escape before Shane can properly lock in the Full Nelson & slips behind Shane taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep. Michaels hits the ropes & nails Shane with "There It Is"...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Malone throws Michaels off him & follows up by hitting his opponent with a "Gal-A-Way Slam"...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Michaels aims a Superkick at Shane. Shane blocks it, catching Chad's foot. Keeping a grasp of Chad's right leg, Shane clamps his right hand around Chad's throat. He lifts the Rated X-er high in the air & Chokeslams him. Shane opts not to go for a cover & grabs both of Chad's legs to set him up for a Giant Swing. Shane spins around & around with Chad before letting him go spinning off, crashing into a corner. Shane heads back to his own corner & tags in Sean. Sean runs right at the fallen Chad & lands a standing Shooting Star press on him...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
*Sean lands a quick Mushroom Stomp on Chad & heads to the top indicating that he's going for the "Dublin Stomp". Before he can hit the move, Corral knocks him off the rope & follows up by hitting a Swanton Bomb onto Sean. Shane Malone enters the ring & Spears Corral right through the ropes. Together, Shane & Sean set Chad up for "Whiskey in the Jar". Shane gets Chad on his shoulders & Sean jumps up to hit the Neckbreaker. Sean & Shane high-five. They look up to see Mike Corral. Corral jumps into the ring from the top rope hitting a Double Flying Clothesline on both men. Sean gets right back up & Corral floors him again with a forearm shot. Shane is back on his feet. Corral hits him with a rapid series of punches forcing Shane back to the ropes. Mike tries to whip Shane off to the opposite side, Shane resists & manages to reverse the Irish Whip. He catches Corral on the rebound with a massive Spinebuster. Shane stands again, but is caught by Chad who tries to lift Shane up for "Kiss Your Rated X Goodbye". The over 50lbs weight difference is just too much for Chad. He can't manage to lift Shane up. Shane staggers Chad with a big right hand & sets him on his shoulders, stooping slightly. Sean runs in & grabs a hold of Chad's head as he dashes up the turnbuckles. Team Ireland hit "The Electric Bread Slicer" on Chad. Sean hits a Baseball Slide, knocking Corral outside as Shane makes the cover on Chad...*
1...
2...
3!!!
DING-DING-DING!
*The music of Dropkick Murphys starts playing again.*
"T.G.": Here are your winners... TEAM IRELAND!!!
*O'Hare joins Malone & McCann celebrating in the ring. They drape the Tricolour over the prone form of Chad Michaels before heading back up the ramp to the back.*
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Post by invaderdave on May 20, 2008 17:56:38 GMT -5
Bobby Cruise stands in the middle of the ring, microphone in hand, as the crowd rumbled in anticipation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation Heavyweight Championship!"
The crowd roars in reverence to the oncoming championship match, but quickly melts into booing once "Sweetest Perfection" by Depeche Mode hits. Chance Confidence, in all his handsome, swaggering, and, er, confident glory, saunters out from the backstage area, arms outstretched in mock adoration for his "fans." Chance makes a slow walk down the ramp, his robe swaying with each step, as every fan he passes on the way down to the ring scream every possible obscenity in the book in his direction. Chance smirks, paying it absolutely no heed. Chance softshoes up the ring steps, stopping on the apron to gesture once more to the crowd at ringside, and steps in through the ropes, basking in the glow of the arena lights.
Chance's music fades away, and is suddenly replaced by a blues-rock power chord. The Black Crowes’s “Remedy” hits the arena, and Dave Davies, the EWT Title belt slung over his shoulder, emerges from the back, stopping at the top of the ramp to peer out over the crowd and out to the ring, before walking down the rampway without any trepidation or hesitation whatsoever. Once at ringside, Dave slides the belt in under the bottom rope, rolling inside himself. Slinging the belt over his shoulder once more, Dave finds the nearest corner, and holds up the belt proudly, as the crowd cheers out in appreciation.
Dave climbs down from his perch, and hands the belt to referee Bryce Remsburg, before returning to the corner. Chance stands in the corner opposite from his, smirking a confident smirk, as Bobby Cruise takes the microphone once again.
"Introducing now, the challenger. He hails from London, England, and weighs in two-hundred and nineteen pounds! He is the former EWT Heavyweight Champion (Chance's smirk fades slightly)...he is CHANCE CONFIDENCE!"
Chance quickly relieves himself of his robe, before striding into the middle of the ring, once again smugly stretching out his hands to bask in the glow of fan adoration, and maybe even catch a streamer or two. After a short while, he returns to his corner, and Bobby Cruise puts mic to mouth again.
"Introducing his opponent...weighing in at two-hundred and seventy pounds, and hailing from Steven's Point, Wisconsin....he is YOUR current, reigning, and defending EWT Heavyweight Champion, DAVID DAVIES!"
Dave runs to the middle of the ring, gets down on one knee, and holds his arm up as a small blizzard of streamers flies into the rings, covering and stringing themselves all over the champion. Remsburg scatters around the ring, sweeping the celebratory devices off the mat and to the outside, as Dave brushes himself off and returns to his corner. Both Dave and Chance are called to middle of the ring by Bryce, whom holds the belt between the two, explaining the rules of the match. Neither listen to the diminuitive Remsburg, eyes locked on eachother. After finishing, Bryce gives his familiar call...
"RING THE BELL!"
And we have a match underway!
Dave and Chance circle eachother briefly, Chance making a couple of swipes at Dave’s legs to throw him off balance, before Chance fully thrusts himself forward to try a double leg takedown. Dave immediately drops down on top of Chance, canceling out the takedown, and trapping his head between his knees. Dave stands himself up, and grabs down at Chance, attempting to pull him into a Cradle Piledriver. Chance wriggles for all he’s worth, and manages to slip out of the piledriver attempt. Chance flings himself forward into Dave’s midsection, doubling the champ over. Chance capitalizes by trapping Dave’s head between his legs, and throwing up his hands to signal for the Confidence Breaker.
Chance suddenly feels himself being lifted up, as Dave stands himself up, back body dropping Chance at the same time. Dave turns back to face Chance, and dives on him, laying several wild punches to the former champ’s dome. Trapping his opponent in a headlock, Dave begins raising himself and Chance to their feet. Once both are erect, Dave forcefully Irish whips Chance to the ropes, and slips off his elbow pad, ready for an unprotected lariat. Chance catches himself in the ropes, stopping himself, and avoiding the lariat. Chance breathes a sigh of relief, while Dave slips his elbow pad back on, nodding in a bit of reverence to Chance’s ring awareness.
The two opponents approach eachother warily once more, and Chance begins goading Dave into hitting him, throwing faint slaps at the champion. Dave rears back to fire off a straight left, only for Chance to dodge it, and twist Dave into a tight hammerlock. While Chance has the lock on, he uses his free hand to give Dave a couple of sharp paintbrush slaps to the back of his head. Dave begins wriggling free, and once Chance’s grip loosens, Chance lets go and traps Dave in a headlock now, carelessly pounding on the top of Dave’s head. Chance finishes off by jumping into the air, and landing Dave with a high-impact bulldog.
Chance has the champ reeling, and demonstrates his new dominance by trapping Dave in a rough rear-chinlock, twisting and pulling away at Dave’s head, as if he were trying to pop it off. Chance leaves Dave on the mat, backs into the ropes, and lands on top of Dave’s head with a leg drop. Chance gets back up, backs into the ropes again, and this time lands on Dave’s noggin with a kneedrop. Chance keeps his knee on Dave’s head, and reaches back to hook Dave’s leg for a pin. Remsburg leaps into action, but only reaches a two count when Dave forces Chance to roll off of him. Chance leaps back on a recovering Dave, again trying for a headlock, but Dave is having none of it. As Dave rises to his feet, Chance tries for all he’s worth to force Dave back down into his headlock. Dave counters by pushing Chance off, into the ropes. Chance bounces back, ducking another lariat attempt by Dave, and travels to the other set of ropes. Only Dave is following him.
When Chance turns around to bounce back at Dave, Dave is already there, with a knee right in Chance’s mid-section. Chance reels back into the ropes, grabbing at his stomach to try and quiet the pain, rolling outside to get his bearings. Dave doesn’t feel particularly empathetic though, as he backs up, dashes back to the ropes, and takes flight between the second and top rope, crash landing onto Chance with a ferocious tope, and almost destroying the crowd barrier as well. The dive clearly took a lot out of both men, but Chance manages to make it to his feet before Dave does, and tries for all he’s worth to escape any further damage through the crowd. Davies climbs over the barrier, and follows his challenger, and throws his hands in front of his face to block a chair that was rocketing at his face, courtesy of Chance. The thrown chair still knocked Dave back off his feet, and Chance capitalized by grabbing another chair, absolutely bombing Dave’s skull as he attempted to get back to his feet. Dave fell to the floor again, this time a trickle of blood tracing his forehead. Chance throws the chair down on Dave’s prone body for emphasis, and goes to work dragging Dave back over the barrier, and into the ring.
Chance pulls Dave to the nearest corner, slamming his forehead onto the top turnbuckle, before snap suplexing Dave back down to the mat. Chance pulls Dave into the right position, and hops onto the ropes, landing on top of Dave with the Confidence Booster. Dave’s hand is too close to the corner’s ropes however, and a three count is denied. Chance begins to grow more than a bit annoyed, and pulls Dave up, this time landing a gordbuster in front of the corner. Chance grandstands for the crowd a bit, before jumping onto the ropes for yet another Confidence Booster. Dave rolls out of the way, and Chance hits nothing but mat.
The trickle of blood has turned into a stream, and was currently dripping down into Dave’s eyes, which hardened with anger in Chance’s general direction. Grabbing the challenger off the mat, Dave pulls Chance into position for a powerbomb, bombing Chance back (and almost head) first into the corner, eliciting a huge groan of shock, and even a bit of pity for Chance from the crowd. Dave doesn’t allow Chance time to recover, instead pulling him from the corner, landing a fierce back drop driver in the middle of the mat. Dave piles on top of Chance, waiting for the three count, clearly upset over getting only two. Dave holds up three fingers for Bryce to see, only for Bryce to correct him by holding up two fingers.
Dave turns his attention back to a prone Chance, holding up two fingers. He begins slapping Chance with the two fingered hand, taking time between each slap to show him the two fingers.
“Hear that, Chance? Two. I got two. It should have been three, you little bitch.”
Dave gives up the slapping as Chance begins rolling away to escape Dave’s wrath. Dave pounces on him, keeping Chance trapped on his stomach. Pressing his knee down onto Chance’s head, Dave reaches for Chance’s leg, and pulls it back, in something of a half crab, leaning all of his weight into the knee of Chance’s head. The crowd rumbles as they realize someone is running down the aisle, immediately expressing disapproval when they figure out that it’s Jack Jupiter. Bryce turns his attention from Dave clenching down on his hold to further Chance’s pain, and immediately attempts to shoo Jack away from ringside. Dave himself half-assedly lets down Chance’s leg, and slowly pulls his knee off of Chance’s head to go meet Jack.
Jack leaps onto the apron, and both he and Davies get into a shouting match, giving Chance time to recover, and slip behind Dave. Chance suddenly grabs Dave around his waist, and pulls him into a German Suplex, bridging for a pin. Davies manages to force himself out of the pin JUST before Bryce’s hand hits the mat a third time, and rolls over to the corner to recover. Chance, on the other hand, isn’t happy with Jack’s interference at all, tells him so. Not appreciative in the slightest, Chance points to the back, telling Jack just where he can go. After a little bit of prodding, Jack finally gets the message, and hops off the apron to walk to the back.
Chance turns around to meet a monstrous spinning back fist to the face from Dave, nearly knocking his head off his shoulders. As Chance staggers to regain his composure, Dave doesn’t have time to wait, and pulls him down between his legs, signaling for a piledriver. However, instead of cradling him, Dave underhooks not just Chance’s arms, but his legs as well, and pulls him into what is effectively a Package Piledriver, dropping him right on his head. Dave rolls Chance onto his back, and presses down on his shoulders. A count to three later, and Dave has made his first successful title defense!
Bobby Cruise is already on the PA system, announcing Dave’s victory, as the bleeding and exhausted champion grabs his belt from Bryce, and makes a slow stagger up the ramp, to the backstage area, as we throw to commercial.
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on May 21, 2008 2:11:39 GMT -5
*The camera pans up the body of a figure. Camera pans out to reveal A-Bomb and Stevie wearing DDD shirts. A-Bomb tosses his cigarette to the ground.* *crowd cheers loudly* A-Bomb:*laughs*You see....A-Bomb always takes care of those nearest to him. I didn't just comeback for the fans and I sure as hell didn't comeback for a title shot. I have all the fame and fortune one could ask for. No, I came back to take care of my family. You see....A-Bomb makes sure that everyone he is affiliated with gets a piece of the pie. I've been by David Davies since day one. When he first learned how to apply his first headlock. I knew from that day on.....that he would grow to be a champ. Now many of you are asking why did I come to the ring and eliminate Toom? Because I can't stand to sit and watch a selfish jerk put himself in a position where he doesn't belong. There are guys out there busting their a** for these fans and you're just undermind their hardwork and dedication to these fans that watch our shows, buy our merchandise, and support your company...all because of your own selfish greed. NOBODY and I mean NOBODY wants to see you make a mockery of this very company by cheating your way to the gold. Toom, I gladly accept your challenge at Crap-A-Mania. While I was gone I've learned a few things from some of my indie friends and a few of my MMA buddies...so be warned. Remember....A-Bomb never sleeps. NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT F****AAAAAAAAAH!!!
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on May 22, 2008 11:03:33 GMT -5
*Cut to the arena*
Announcer: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall!
*"Confrontation" picks up as the Zephyrs step out to absolutely no reaction, wearing horn-rimmed glasses and sunhats much to the confusion of the onlooking crowd.*
Announcer: Introducing first, from San Francisco, California, at a total combined weight of 398 pounds, the ZEPHYR Brothers!
*The pair advance to the ring and once inside, grab microphones. Their music slowly fades out as they stare at the silent crowd.*
Mike: YO!
Mark: What is UP in this plizzace?
Mike: We don't allow fat dudes and Jim Powers in the Chateau of Stuff! Uh...ZEPHYR!
*silence*
Mark: Za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-za-ZEPHYR!
Mike: Look around up in the town! Tell me what you see-- --don't frown! Hold up high and lick them low! Highland Diamonds are less than Mark and me-- --they blow!
Mark: Uh-huh, uh-huh, oh yeeeeeh.
Mike: A-HAW! Now Pow-Wow, the Indian Boy, loved all the animals in the West!
Mark: TUSK!
*The pair bow at their most pointless and pathetic rap thus far, but the fans, as before, don't really seem to care. They throw off their "Poser gear" and take positions at the nearest corner.*
Announcer: And introducing second, at a combined weight of 482 lbs, Angus MacAngus and the Emerald Warrior, they are the Highland Diamonds!
*Emerald Sword by Rhapsody cues up as The Dimonds walk onto the stage. Angus wastes no time, ripping his kilt off at the top of the ramp and charging into the ring. Emerald Warrior however, goes through the motions, swaggering and faking picking fights with the fans. Angus runs head first at the Zephyrs and the referee hurriedly calls for the bell!*
DING DING DING!
Cole: Here we go, and Angus MacAngus is in a hurry here John ! JBL: The Zephyr Brothers are gonna die, Michael. Angus is angry, and last time people got hurt. I have a feeling it’s gonna be the same all over again.
*Angus clotheslines down both the Zephyrs, then starts hammering at Mark Zepyr with closed fists. The referee forces Anus off and Angus momentarily looks as if he’s about to attack the ref, before now turning to Mike Zephyr and choking him! Again, the referee makes him break his grip, and Angus again stares down the ref. He then picks up Mike and hits a few knees, before going for an Irish whip. Mike reverses and sends Angus to mark, who takes Angus down with a drop toehold. Angus gets up, fuming, and swings for Mark, but Mark ducks and Angus gets hit with a dropkick from Mike! Angus rolls away, getting even more enraged, and catches Mark running in, tossing him overhead with a belly to belly suplex, before steaming on and grabbing Mike, sending him flying with a T-Bone suplex! Emerald Warrior finally gets on to his team’s apron as Angus goes to isolate Mike Zephyr.*
Cole: Angus almost got outwitted by the Zephyrs there JBL! JBL: And that’s just sad. Still, the Highland Horror’s calmed down and got in control. I doubt this will last long.
* Angus grabs Mike and hits a swinging neckbreaker. He then kicks at Mike’s back, before performing a standing Scot Stomp to Mike. He hauls Mike up by his hair, then sets him up for a vertical suplex, but instead drops him on the top rope stomach first! Angus then grabs Mike and performs a big hip toss, launching him back into the ring! Angus runs and hits another kick to Mike’s back, and makes a cover!
1…………
2…………
Kick out!
Angus just carries on with punishment, again punching away at Mike until the referee makes him let up. Angus grabs Mike and hits a forearm, then spins him round and hits a vicious German suplex, folding Mike up. But Angus keeps hold and rolls back to his feet, and lets Emerald Warrior blind-tag him. Angus picks Mike up , and Warrior assist, as they pulverise Mike Zephyr with the Post-Concussion Syndrome! Mike rolls away, almost out of it. Warrior pulls Mike up, leaving him on rubbery legs, then runs at him, grabs him by the head and charges at a corner. Warrior vaults the corner onto the apron, driving Mike’s head into the top turnbuckle! Mike falls back into the ring, and Warrior hits a springboard elbow drop! He makes a cover...*
1……
2……
*Mark breaks it up!*
JBL: What did I tell you Michael, this one’s gone back in the Highland Diamonds’ favour.
Cole: There’s still time yet JBL, Mark Zephyr has yet to really get involved in this match.
* Mark hits some right hands on Warrior, but is quickly blocked and dropped with a DDT. Warrior laughs and kicks Mark back out of the ring, then grabs Mike again. Warrior snapmares Mike, then dropkicks him in the back, before applying a chinlock. Mike starts to clap, trying to rally the fans behind him, and he fights to his feet. He elbows once, twice, three times and gets out! But as he goes to the ropes, Warrior just stops him and hits a vicious backdrop suplex, again punishing the marginally heavier Zephyr Brother. Emerald Warrior picks Mike up and tags out to Angus. Warrior scoops Mike up then slams him, as Angus heads up top and connects with the Scot Stomp!! Angus makes a cover!*
1……
2……
*Angus pulls Mike up! He shakes his head at the referee and tosses Mike away like a ragdoll. Angus drags Mike by his hair and walks over to the Zephyr Brothers’ corner and stares down Mark, pointing at Mike while trash talking, but Mark pops Angus in the face! Angus gives Mark a death glare and throws Mike into Mark, forcing a tag before pulling mark into the ring! Angus lays into Mark with repeated stomps and haymakers, screaming all the time! The referee tries to intervene but Angus just bulldozes on, ignoring him. He pulls Mark to his feet then sets and blasts him with a hard boxing hook to the side of the face, dropping Mark instantly. Angus again starts kicking at mark but the referee yet again forces Angus back. Angus calms down briefly and waits for Mark to get up near a corner, then runs at him with an attempted jumping knee lift, but Mark Zephyr dodges! Angus goes knee first into the corner, and as he staggers back Mark hits a running knee lift of his own! Angus goes down but is back up, only to be caught with an enzugiri!! He covers!*
1...
*Angus kicks out emphatically, and clubs Mark over the neck.*
Cole: Oh my! The Zephyrs aren’t going down without a fight! They’re going to capitalise on every mistake the Highland Diamonds make, and in the state Angus is in, one mistake could make the difference!
JBL: I’m amazed that the Diamonds haven’t polished this one of yet Michael.
*Angus tags out to Emerald Warrior and waits for him to come in. Angus throws Mark for a Northern Lights Suplex, and floats through as if for the Flower of Scotland. But instead, he performs a Giant Swing, tossing Mark to the waiting Emerald Warrior, who hits another low dropkick to Mark’s head! Warrior makes a cover.*
1……
2……
Kick out!
*Warrior shrugs, not as testy as his teammate, and just picks Mark up lazily. He readies him for a Gem Driller, but Mark slips out. Warrior turns round and takes a headbutt to the gut, and then another! Mark fights at Emerald Warrior with everything he’s got, going for an Irish Whip but Warrior reverses. Mike, who is groggy on 5he apron, makes a blind tag as Mark rebounds, and mark sidesteps the Emerald Gleam! He picks Warrior up while he is struggling as Mike climbs the corner, and incredibly they hit the Doomsday Zephyr!!!!! Mike makes the cover.*
1……
2……
3-no! Angus broke it up!
Cole: The Zephyrs nearly stole it! They nearly nicked a win past the Highland Diamonds!
JBL: I can’t believe what I’m witnessing Michael. The Highland Diamonds are not on the ball tonight at all.
*Angus goes after Mark, tossing him out of the ring and following with a form of a Plancha, scrappily landing on Mark Zephyr and continuing the brawl. Warrior, meanwhile, is up and looking surprised. Mike runs at him for a clothesline, but Warrior easily sidesteps and snaps off a short range Emerald Gleam. He acts as though he’s going to make the cover, but decides not to and instead looks to make a statement. He picks Mike up, signalling for the Emerald Fusion, but Mike blocks ity and gets a jawbreaker! He grabs Warrior, and hits a screwdriver!!! The fans are in disbelief as Mike makes the cover!*
1………
2………
…3???
*No! Angus somehow broke it up with a split second to go!!!!!! Angus is fuming, and nearly kills Mike with a lariat. He drags Warrior to the corner, grabs the tag rope, tags himself in on the dazed Emerald Warrior, and hauls Mike up. He sets up, and connects with the Saltire!!!!!!*
1……
2……
3!
*Rhapsody’s Emerald Sword starts playing again*
Announcer: Here are your winners, the Highland Diamonds!
Cole: the Diamonds may have got the win, but they almost blew it! They took it too easy and nearly let the Zephyrs get the best of them!
JBL: The Highland Diamonds are a quality team though, Michael. They may have slipped up, but it didn’t cost them.
Cole: And they don’t look to be finished! Aw come on!!!
*Angus has picked Mike back up, and again targets his head, levelling Mike with the Sweet Bagpipe Music! Angus then rolls out of the ring, leaving his partner to stir and follow. Angus grabs Mark o the floor, then whips him as hard as he can into the steps. Angus then storms up the ramp, stopping only to retrieve his kilt. Emerald Warrior follows, slower and more swaggering, surveying the downed Zephyrs. The Zephyrs lay out of it for a little while, before dragging themselves up and walking off to apathy from the crowd.*
*Cut to adverts*
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Post by hardcorehensley on May 22, 2008 17:03:04 GMT -5
The EWT Management's Representative comes down to the ring without any introduction. Microphone in hand, he's booed heavily. He climbs into the ring then waits a moment for silence."Now, the EWT has recognized all of yours poor reception to it's recent decisions. I've been summoned here tonight to tell you about the EWT Ox Division Championship, Hardcore Hensley, and Poe Moe Foe." Dramatic pause."On June 1st, 2008, in Mexico City...there will be a title match. It shall include both Hensley and Foe." The fans erupt with anticipation, but are quickly quieted by the Representative."HOWEVER, their meeting will not be one of no rules! Oh no, ALL regulations will apply! It's gonna be just like an ordinary wrestling match, no stipulations whatsoever-" Before the jeers can begin, "Hit Em High, Hit Em Low" strikes the loudspeakers. "The Hardcore One" rushes down the aisle, his belt in his grasp. He slides in, and gets right in the man's face, snatching his mic away."WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Saliva flies from his mouth as he barks. The Representative shakes it off then receives another mic from the timekeeper's table."Hensley, if I recall, you're direct request from me was a one on one affair with Foe. I don't remember anything being mentioned about the actual match type." Huffing and puffing, and close to foaming from the mouth now, Hensley raises his tone."YOU LITTLE PRICK, YOU KNEW EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED!" "Well, you know, I could just have each of you sit at home instead of competing. How's that sound?" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I'M NOT NO B****! You wanna play this game though, that's cool. I'll tell you right now though, come Crap-A-Mania Cinco, I'm not gonna give a damn about law. I'm not gonna give a s*** about my title, and I damn sure ain't gonna give a rat's ass about YOU!" He throws his mic at the man's feet, sending him a chill stare. He holds his belt up high for a moment then rolls out, and starts up the ramp. As he reaches the stage though, the man comes back."Very well, Champ, but be warned that you and Foe aren't allowed physical contact until the Post-Per-View still. Also, screw my previous punishment, if either of you get involved before that bell rings...I've got two pink slips handy." Hensley nods, his chill stare still there then flips a pair of middle fingers. He walks off to the back, the Representative simply shaking his head.
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Post by Tea & Crumpets on May 23, 2008 13:16:47 GMT -5
*Cut to the ring*
*Liverdance by The Kilted Generation plays, and Angus MacAngus walks down to the ring silent and stoic, bringing his own microphone. Emerald Warrior is conspicuous by his absence. Angus grabs a folding chair, throws it in the ring, sets it up and sits down, with the lights semi-dimmed* Angus*Controlled anger*: Noo, a expect yah all wondering why I’m oot here on mah own. Well, tha truth is, there’s been something’ botherin’ me fah quite some time now. Somethin small, some little parasite nibblin’ away at tha back o’ mah brain. An noo, it’s come tah this……. Tha truth is, I’ve grown disillusioned wih’ this place. I’ve been through hell ta get here. Ah’ve worked fah next ta no money in Scotland. Ah’ve torn tha house down in Japan, fah just 400 people ta see, an ta make aboot 5 quid. Ah’ve been thrown off scaffolds, into barbed wire, bin’ concussed, had ribs broken, all ta get tha big, grand EWT. An noo, ah see it was-nae worth it. Since ah came inta EWT, ah’ve not had 1 high profile match. Ah’ve had 2 matches wih Rated X, a pair o’ washups, matches wih’ nonames and never will be’s like Deuce N Domino or Tha Highlanders, or wih guys like…..Tha Zephyr Brothers. An all this time, Ah’ve been watchin’ other teams just get handed title shots willy nilly, from Tha Guardinals ta Abha an’ O’Neill, 2 guys who weren’t even a team tha’ long ago! An ah’ve just been stuck on tha undercard, jerkin tha curtain. Noo, ya might be sayin, “ye’ve got a title match wih’ TJT at EWT’s biggest show, yah should be grateful”! *Tone turns cold* But ah’m not. Ah’m not grateful. In 4 months, we’ve made requests, challenges, every possible attempt ta get a title match….fah naught. Not even, a singles match wih’ one o’ TJT. But tha issue isn’t just Crap-A-Mania, it’s everythin….. Ye may be wonderin’ while Emerald Warrior isn’t oot here, stakin his grievances. Well truth is, he’s got few grievances ta air. *Turns angry* He’s not tha one, who got tossed oot tha Royal Pain In Tha Ass Rumble in 1 second, and ridiculed fah tha world ta see!!!! He didn’t have his momentum killed! He didn’t have his credibility, all but flushed doon tha bog! He’s got hiself another tag win tonight, thanks ta me. He’s got the title match at Mania wih’ me. He’s smug as a bloody Cheshire cat…..That bastard’s always smug…… *Turns cold again* But like I said, it’s not aboot his grievances. It’s about mine. It’s aboot me gettin back, at tha bookers, fah givin me nothing fah 4 months! It’s about redeemin’ mahself, fah getting embarrassed at mah first EWT PPV. Toom E goddamn Dangerously lasted longer than me in tha Rumble, an he’s not even a bloody wrestler!!! An it’s things like that, that have made me grow disenchanted wih tha business. I left it a few years ago, an ah’m frighteningly close ta leavin it again. *Crowd starts a “Please Just Go!” chant, which Angus ignores* I don’t want ta leave this business. Mah father is part of it, mah grandfather was part of it. Ah’m still aimin’ ta do them, ta do all o’ Scotland, proud. But recently, ah’ve been a disgrace. Ah’ve been getting humiliated, an ah’ve not had the calibre o’ opponents ta redeem mahself. Ah’ve brought shame ta mahself, but it can’t happen any more. Ah’ve got nothin’ left ta hang on to right now, but tha promise o’ tha tag titles. An TJT this isn’t anything personal at all! It’s not aboot you! Ah have no quarrel wih ye, no grudge ta settle! But at Crap-A-Mania, in tha Scaffold Tables match, an environment ah made mah trademark 2 years ago, ya will be takin’ tha plunge. No offence I’ve nothing against you, but if ah have ta hurt ya, cripple ya, kill ya, by throwin one o’ both of ye off tha scaffold, ta win tha titles, ah will. This sport has left me soulless, and left me uncarin’. Ah’ve not got tha motivation here ta care anymore, aboot vendettas, o’ scores. *Tone grows even softer* It’s aboot pride. TJT, I’ll get back mah pride at Crap A Mania. I don’t care if Emerald Warrior doesn’t show up, if he gets thrown off, if he does nothin’ ta help! Ah don’t care aboot winnin tha belts fah him, fah us, anymore. I care aboot it fah me. I want mah self respect back. I want….mah dignity, back. An if ah have ta hurt ye, Thunder, ye, Jupiter, or even ye, Terina, ta do that, I won’t even pause. I’m sorry it has ta be this way, cause I’ve nothing personal wih ye, but that’s the way it is. This business is unfair, it is a cruel mistress. Ah’ve had a raw hand dealt ta me lately, but no more. Ah’m takin tha deck fah myself, ah’m dealin tha cards, ah’m callin tha shots fah mah own future. Scotland bloody forever. *Angus drops the microphone and leaves, Liverdance cuing up again as he exits* *Cut to a Crap A Mania vignette*
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Sigma: Current SRW Champ!
Dennis Stamp
Writes about wrestling, does videos about game shows, helps transpeople, loves baseball etc.
Posts: 4,524
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Post by Sigma: Current SRW Champ! on May 23, 2008 14:04:18 GMT -5
Tony Schiavone: Ladies and gentlemen, we have an interesting tag battle tonight. Sigma and Darren Matthews will be taking on the Tandem of John “The Lion” Valentine and Mysth. Now, this all came about a couple of weeks ago when Matthews revealed that he was bought off by Sigma, who then in turn went berserk on Mysth. It looked bleak until John Valentine came out and started bludgeoning Matthews, who went away, and Sigma got put through a table by Mysth and Valentine. Jesse, it comes to a head tonight. Jesse Ventura: Tony, it’s what drives these athletes to be great. They know what they want and will go after it. What Valentine and Mysth want is Sigma’s Toolshed Title. Matthews wants money, and Sigma wants to just crush his opposition. Tony Schiavone: Speaking of Mysth wanting the Toolshed title, he will get that shot at Crap-A-Mania Cinco. It was announced that Sigma will take on Mysth for the title in a return match from 2 weeks ago, when Mysth countered Sigma’s patented Sigma Suplex for the 3 count. Jesse Ventura: And Sigma is looking for revenge and so far he’s been getting it, but he was robbed of the EWT World Heavyweight title when Mysth pulled him under the ring, and subsequently chased him in the ring and eliminated him. Tony Schiavone: Bad blood is brewing, let’s not waste anymore time and get to the ring and Gary Capetta. GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, up next is a tag team match scheduled for one fall. (“Otherworld” by Bill Muir hits, crowd jumps to their feet) From Strasbourg, France, being led to the ring by “Sexually Suggestive” Ivy Rosepine, he weighs in at 216 pounds….”The Darkness in the Light” Mysth! Tony Schiavone: Mysth is led to the ring by Ivy Rosepine and looks ravishing tonight. Jesse Ventura: She’s quite a peach and really a good wrestler. (“I’m the King of My World” by Saliva hits, crowd still cheers) GMC: His tag team partner, from Oak Harbor, Washington. He is led to the ring by Veronica DeMarco. Weighing in at 226 pounds, John “The Lion” Valentine. Tony Schiavone: Another lucky man with a lovely woman to escort him to the ring. Jesse Ventura: Sigma and Matthews don’t need lovely ladies to bring them to the ring to be successful. (“Babyshambles” by Killamangiro plays, crowd boos) GMC: From Cambridge, England. He weighs in tonight at 224 pounds….”Rebellious” Darren Matthews. Tony Schiavone: Out comes Darren Matthews, which the look of money in his mind. Jesse Ventura: Well, Sigma is paying him and in British money, so that’s a dangerous mix right there. (“Princes of the Universe” by Queen Hits, Crowd gets unruly) GMC: From Tacoma, Washington. Representing Minipax, he is the EWT Toolshed champion. He weighs in at 265 pounds….SIGMA! Tony Schiavone: Sigma is slowly going to the ring. What could he be thinking? Jesse Ventura: He looks like he has a plan. When Sigma walks that slow, he’s got a brilliant plan. This could spell doom for Valentine and Mysth. Tony Schiavone: If he does have a plan, it could be disastrous. (Bell Rings) Tony Schiavone: And there’s the bell. We’re off with some high energy action tonight. Jesse Ventura: Looks like Matthews and Valentine are going to start off this match. Tony Schiavone: Should be some exciting back and forth action as they tie up and Valentine gets the early advantage with the headlock. Matthews backs up and flings him into the ropes, Valentine goes for the clothesline, Matthews ducks and Valentine stops and nails him with the dropkick. Jesse Ventura: That shocked Matthews; he thought he would go for another one. Tony Schiavone: Matthews gets up and is nailed by another dropkick by Valentine and another dropkick by Valentine and he scurries to Sigma and tags him in. Jesse Ventura: Matthews got frustrated and decided to take a breather. Tony Schiavone: So, Sigma casually steps in and sizes up Valentine. Valentine should be worried about Sigma, shouldn’t he be, Jess. Jesse Ventura: Well, a few weeks ago, Sigma decimated Valentine in a matter of seconds. Valentine hasn’t forgotten that. Tony Schiavone: Well they hook up and Sigma just shoves Valentine down. Valentine gets back up and shoves Sigma down. Sigma gets up and just wailed on Valentine and sends him down to the mat. Jesse Ventura: Sigma’s strength and force does that to anyone. Tony Schiavone: Sigma picks up Valentine and slams him hard on the mat. Sigma is going for the cover. Ref: 1….2kickout. Jesse Ventura: Sigma gets a 2-count, because it’s too early. Valentine is still fresh, so no dice. Tony Schiavone: Sigma picks up Valentine, whips him into the turnbuckle, Sigma goes for the avalanche and Valentine gets out of the way and tags in Mysth. Jesse Ventura: This is the bout the people came to see. Tony Schiavone: Mysth comes charging in with a dropkick to Sigma’s back and falls down. Mysth picks up Sigma and gives him an Irish whip to the ropes, Sigma ducks the clothesline, but Mysth gives him a drop toe hold and he’s hung up on the ropes. Jesse Ventura: Sigma is in a precarious position now, and Mysth is charging and just lands on Sigma’s back. What’s Ivy doing? Tony Schiavone: There’s Ivy blowing Mysth a kiss, and just smacks the taste out of Sigma’s mouth. She gets some measure of revenge against those remarks that Sigma made. Jesse Ventura: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Tony Schiavone: Mysth now pulling on Sigma’s legs and Sigma just slams into the mat. Mysth is going for the pin right now. Ref: 1….No, kick out. Jesse Ventura: Sigma showing resiliency right now after that kick out and Mysth is heading to the top. Tony Schiavone: He could be trying to go for a big time maneuver. Mysth going for a cross body press, But Sigma caught him. Jesse Ventura: This is bad news for Mysth. Sigma just throws him to the other side of the ring, right near his partner, Valentine. Tony Schiavone: Sigma wasn’t watching where he was throwing to as Mysth tags in Valentine; Valentine trying for a dropkick, but Sigma turns around and swats it away. Jesse Ventura: Sigma seems to have his bearings back as he gives a huge Irish Whip to Valentine, into Sigma’s corner. Tony Schiavone: Darren Matthews gets tagged in and starts throwing rights and lefts into Valentine’s Midsection. Jesse Ventura: He’s softening Valentine up. Valentine is the weakest of the four combatants in the ring, so it shouldn’t be that hard to do. Tony Schiavone: Well, he does have the lesser Win-Loss record. But nevertheless as Matthews gives Valentine an Irish whip to the ropes and hits him with a back elbow. Jesse Ventura: Valentine just dropped after getting that elbow. He looks jarred and Matthews is going for the pin. Ref: 1…….2…Kick out. Tony Schiavone: And he’s up at two. Valentine showing some resiliency here against Matthews and Sigma. Jesse Ventura: Well, you have to be resilient in this business and vicious as Matthews is lifting up Valentine and hits a German Suplex with a bridge. Ref: 1……..2…Kick out. Tony Schiavone: Quite the maneuver, but came up a bit short, and Matthews looks a bit frustrated. Jesse Ventura: He hit him with one of his biggest moves, but he’s signaling for Breaking Boundaries. Tony Schiavone: That could affectively end the match right there. Matthews has him up, but Valentine countered with a back body drop. And both men are down. Jesse Ventura: Yeah, they expended a lot of energy in that short burst of action. Matthews mainly with those rights and lefts, and Valentine from taking all of that abuse at the hands of Matthews. Tony Schiavone: Matthews slowly crawling to Sigma, but Valentine is nearing Mysth. He’s almost there. Jesse Ventura: Matthews tags in Sigma, but Valentine tagged in Mysth. And here come the haymakers. Tony Schiavone: Mysth and Sigma are battling it out back and forth, back and forth and Sigma staggers to the ropes. Mysth gives him an Irish Whip, Sigma reverses, and Mysth ducks the clothesline, and hits him with a cross body block. Ref: 1…Matthews, Get out! Tony Schiavone: Mysth almost had him there, but Matthews made the save and we have a classic Pier 6 Brawl in the ring. Jesse Ventura: All 4 men in the ring ducking it out. Mysth still going at it with Sigma, and Valentine and Matthews has just clotheslined each other out of the ring and they’re fighting like crazy. Tony Schiavone: Well, Mysth is going after Sigma still, bouncing off the ropes with a dropkick to the knee. I think this may be it for Sigma. Jesse Ventura: You may be right, Tony. He’s got him locked. Tony Schiavone: And Mysth is going for it……HE HITS THE HEAVY BREAKER! He’s got him hooked, but the Ref is busy with Valentine and Matthews. C’mon Ref, get over there and make the count. Jesse Ventura: What an unlucky break for Mysth. With Mysth concerned about pinning Sigma, and the ref distracted with Matthews and Valentine, nobody is seeing who is sneaking up on Ivy Rosepine. Tony Schiavone: Wha...wha.what is going on with Ivy Rosepine. Someone is sneaking up behind her. Jesse Ventura: I don’t know who this masked person is. Could this be another one of Sigma’s allies? Tony Schiavone: Possibly, this masked person just grabbed Ivy and just dropped her with a reverse DDT. Jesse Ventura: That got the attention of Mysth. He unhooked Sigma and is going over to this masked person who is attacking Ivy. Tony Schiavone: This is disaster for Ivy. She just came back and is already laid out by this mysterious person. And Mysth is there ready to confront this person, who’s showing no remorse or even caring about Mysth over there. Jesse Ventura: Mysth should be more worried about Sigma than this mystery person. He had Sigma beat, but look at this Tony. Tony Schiavone: Oh no, the giant’s up. Sigma is up and has Mysth in his grasp. Jesse Ventura: This has to be a plan of Sigma. Turns out, it was brilliantly executed. And Sigma has Mysth up and nails his Suplex. Tony Schiavone: Matthews and Valentine have disappeared into the back, and the Ref is charging to the ring and instead of Mysth pinning Sigma, Sigma has Mysth covered after the Sigma Suplex. Ref: 1……..2………3! (Bell Rings, crowd boos) Tony Schiavone: This was a setup by Sigma, pure and simple. GMC: Ladies and Gentlemen, Your winners, “Rebellious” Darren Matthews and Sigma! Jesse Ventura: It was, Tony, but it all worked out in the end and this mystery person is dragging Ivy into the ring. Maybe for more punishment to deliver to Ivy. Tony Schiavone: Now, Sigma has the microphone from Capetta and he’s ready to talk. Sigma: Mysth! I knew you’d bring your *bleep*tease of a girlfriend to the ring, so I figured it was time to bring a very good acquaintance of mine to EWT. Actually, I’ll let HER tell you about herself. *smacks Mysth* : My name…is VILE! Tony Schiavone: OH no, Sigma has brought in Vile to take care of Ivy, and maybe more. Vile: I’m here for 3 things. The first is to rid the EWT of people who don’t belong here, like you, Jasmyne, and other sluts that don’t deserve to be living on this earth, let alone a wrestling ring *smacks Ivy*. The second thing is of course, money. *crowd just boos Sigma and Vile* The third one, will be revealed at another time. But, since you are an ungrateful harlot, it’s time for you to feel the pain that I’ve suffered throughout my life. Tony Schiavone: What does she mean by pain? Jesse Ventura: Well, Vile has Ivy up and turns her inside out, and WOAH! Tombstone Piledriver from Vile to Ivy. Ivy isn’t moving at all. Sigma: Now you see what you’re dealing with, Mysth? You will rue the day that you made a fool out of the Toolshed Champion, and now, you’re girlfriend is feeling the pain. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the end. And You NEVER! Mess with me. Otherwise, *Vile grabs Ivy’s lifeless body* that happens. And at Crap-a-Mania Cinco, I will keep my toolshed title. And you will just be another victim. May god have mercy on your soul, because I won’t have any mercy for you. (Princes of the Universe by Queen Hits, Crowd boos) Tony Schiavone: Well, we have a new GND in Vile, but she is just as mean and ruthless as Sigma. This could spell disaster for the girls. Jesse Ventura: Well, it does. You mix athleticism and Sigma’s ruthlessness, you have one Vile combination. It’s sad to see the beautiful Ivy get hurt, but she was in the wrong place at the worst time possible. Tony Schiavone: And we’ll be back after this.
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