bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Mar 19, 2008 13:09:53 GMT -5
HAHA! Found it! (Alongside the very special Spice World review) SPICE WORLDI just want to get one thing out of the way before I actually give this movie some compliments. This movie is bad. It's pure marketing, the story is trash, and there's really no redeeming cinematic qualities at all. The endless subplots and pointless breaks in the "action" make this a schizophrenic mess. The thing is, the movie is completely campy and it's embraced to the fullest extent. Nothing is taken seriously and the girls actively poke fun at themselves and the idea of the Spice Girls. There was one part featuring Bob Hoskins and the fictional "Spice Force Five" that actually made me laugh though (Seen HERE at roughly the 45 second mark). That being said, there really is no reason for anybody who's not a fan of the Spice Girls to ever see this movie, unless you're me. Oh, and the girls (Specifically Victoria) were all hot throughout the movie, so that's a plus. 1/2 out of ***** (Half point given due to girls' hotness) Next up, Battlefield Earth, but after a short break to clear my head... The fighter jet scene near the end will make no smurfing sense when you think back to the whole '9 minute' thing. Earth's combined military defeated in 9 minutes, but a couple of cavemen with a couple of jets (with ZERO avatian experience) are able to basically beat a few alien guys piloting their aircraft too. To top off this nonsense, the chase lasted several minutes. You're telling me these nobends can do this for several minutes? But the actual combined military of the world was utterly destroyed in 9 minutes? Bullcrap. But still, the greatest movie of all time. EXACTLY! We got guys who have to take multitudes of classes over years before allowed to pilot fighter jets, but give these savages a flight simulator (That they somehow knew how to use and was powered by mysterious electricity) and one week and they all know exactly what they're doing. And this is only in f***ing Denver! What happened to the rest of the world? Surely there are other Psychlo camps in the world? What happened to those guys? And now, for something official... BATTLEFIELD EARTHEarlier, I said that Spice World has no redeeming cinematic qualities at all. Well, this movie topped that in it's uselessness to the whole world. There is no redeeming quality, cinematic or otherwise, to be had from this movie. Story, acting, cinematography, special effects, makeup, wardrobe, etc... None of it will be useful to anybody... Except as a tool to teach students how not to make a movie. This is positively the worst movie I have ever had the displeasure of watching. I know, I know, there are tons of movies with crappier scripts and special effects but I'd venture to say that those movies knew what level of filth they were. This movie takes itself so seriously, it's message of hope for mankind, and yet nobody seemed to care that they took a $44,000,000 budget and proceeded to wipe their ass with every single dollar bill. There's no unifying vision or talent on screen... It's stupid people making stupid decisions that helped make a supremely stupid movie... Everybody involved should be ashamed of themselves. At least movies like Spice World, Soul Plane, Meet The Spartans, Crossroads (w/Britney Spears), and From Justin To Kelly understand what they are... Empty shells of stories designed to sell a product. This movie can't even be honest with itself. You know what the worst part is? In so many generally bad movies, you can at least laugh at it... I couldn't even chuckle with this movie, but maybe that's because I considered all the talent involved. 0 stars out of ***** (I would give it a negative number, but it's not even worth it)
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Mar 19, 2008 16:42:10 GMT -5
The Lost Boys
Still a classic movie in my eyes and one of the best vampire flicks period (After "Fright Night). It's got a great cast and great funny moments (The Frog Brothers).
Although i feel the ending is slightly rushed it doesn't detract from the movie
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Post by Maidpool w/ Cleaning Action on Mar 19, 2008 21:49:37 GMT -5
And Devour, that I gave a * out of *****
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HoagieWithPastrami
Dennis Stamp
Enroll now in the Ben Roethlisberger motorcycle safety course!!!
Posts: 3,665
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Post by HoagieWithPastrami on Mar 19, 2008 23:29:05 GMT -5
Saw "The Bank Job".
Thought it was going to to be a cliche Jason Statham action flick.
Was pleasantly surprised that it was actually a very smart, and sometimes funny, heist flick instead of a mindless shoot 'em up (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Reminded me of something like "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels", except not quite as wacky.
Also, based on a very interesting true story.
8.0/10
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Mar 20, 2008 13:37:11 GMT -5
FUNNY GAMESI still don't know how to feel about this movie. It almost makes you numb. The movie is a remake of a 1997 Austrian movie. The catch? It's the same exact director and it's a shot-for-shot recreation of the original. According to the director, he just really wanted American audiences to see the movie. Ann, George, and Georgie (Played by Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, and Devon Gearhart, respectively) are a typical upper crust family who are going to their lakefront property for a few weeks of golf, sailing, and relaxation. They listen to classical music, their property has a gate on it, and they are, essentially, the perfect picture of an American family. When they arrive, they ask a nearby neighbor for help with docking their boat, but the neighbor acts a bit strange. When the neighbor arrives, he has a man named Paul (Michael Pitt), a good looking, polite, and well manicured man who is a family friend staying with the neighbors. A short while later, Peter (Brady Corbet, who is like the spitting image of Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame) arrives and, while a little more disheveled looking than Paul, asks for 4 eggs. After a few mishaps with the eggs, Ann tells both Peter and Paul to leave her property. When they refuse to leave, she yells at her husband to take care of them. George tries to get the men to leave but, after Paul says something about Ann, George slaps him. Peter then quickly takes a golf club and shatters George's kneecap with it, hobbling him. With the family huddled and scared, Paul explains that they're going to play a little game. He wants to make a bet with the family. He and Peter bet that, before the next 12 hours are up, the whole family will be dead. This is when Paul looks to the audience and says "You're on their side so who will you bet with?". It's with this wink and a nudge that we're thrust into Paul's world. Make no mistake about it, while there are two of them, Paul is the ringmaster in this circus. The two boys proceed to spend the rest of the movie making the family play little games to stay alive, all the while being as ridiculously polite as they can be (Almost everything is asked with a "Please" or "May I", etc.). Pitt and Corbet are two men who, while I've never seen them before, I will never forget them again. Their performances were haunting, funny, and satirical all at the same time. When George asks why the two are doing what they do, Paul proceeds to tell various versions of Peter's upbringing (Ranging from an over-obsessive mother who turned him gay to an overwhelming drug habit to just being a bored high society young male that is jaded with the world). This style of humor make Paul's character that much more ominous as you are almost as much of a victim as the family is in this movie. Naomi Watts (Who was excellent in Eastern Promises) brings anther noteworthy role to her resume as she acts her ass off for the almost 2 hours running time. While I really enjoyed these performances, so many other parts of the movie were lackluster. The writer/director Michael Haneke is obviously very proud of his work (Why else would he remake his own movie that he made 10 years ago and only do it as a shot-for-shot recreation?) but it's the little things that bother me. The man loves to just plant the camera in one spot and let the actors do their thing. Far too often in this movie, though, it provides too much of a disconnect between the viewer and the family, as the shot is stuck in some weird part (Like looking strictly at the house while they talk inside or a far view of the greenhouse while Ann is inside for like a solid minute). The movie also never directly shows any gore. I assumed this would be a "torture porn" type movie, but they kept the violence off-screen, focusing on the most random of things (a NASCAR race or Paul making a sandwich). Also, in the middle of the movie, Paul and Peter depart for a little bit and the movie slows down to a complete crawl. While the next scene is a 10+ minute shot done in one continuous take is an accomplishment, it also seemed unnecessary and a little over-the-top. The whole 2nd act just felt completely out of place in the movie. The movie also has no score, other than a Marilyn Manson song that plays 3 times total throughout the movie. While this was done to set the mood a little more, problem was they were showing Cloverfield (Or 10,000 B.C. I don't know for sure) in the theater next door. So, while there will be a quiet scene featuring Tim Roth weeping and the shot centered directly on his face, you'd suddenly hear the roar of some monster, a few explosions, etc. It ruined a lot of the longer shots but actually entertained me a little on the inside. This movie just felt long... and I mean lllloooooonnnnngggggg. Remember the first 15 minutes of There Will Be Blood? The parts with no music, very little sound, and absolutely no dialog? Well, replace the very little sound with weeping and that's what this movie felt like, but for a hell of a lot longer than 15 minutes. Again, I really have to praise both Pitt with his version of Paul, as he's so unsettling yet so charming all at the same time. Paul and Peter are both really interesting characters that I wish could be fleshed out (They alluded that both men have been doing what they did to this family for awhile) but I know it never will. I don't really want to recommend this movie but at the same time I do. Check out the trailer (Linked below) and keep in mind what I wrote, though, but just watch Pitt and Corbet do their thing. *1/2 out of ***** Simply for Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet - **** out of ***** Funny Games trailer
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Millie D
El Dandy
Something VERY special.
I Love Glee!
Posts: 8,923
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Post by Millie D on Mar 20, 2008 14:56:22 GMT -5
HORTON HEARS A WHO
SPOILER AHEAD....
Horton ( voiced by Jim Carrey) tries his damndest to keep a little speck called Whoville which landed on a flower safe from devastation and no one believes that he heard voices coming from the speck and when he decides to make contact the mayor of Whoville( voiced by steve carrell) he tells him about his journey to keep them all safe..when the mayor tries to tell the council and people thet need to cancel the Wholabration they all think he is crazy ..in the meantime while trying to keep Whoville safe, the jungle is run by an evil angry kangaroo( voiced by carol burnett) and she doesn't want the baby animals using their imagination because she wants the jungle to be pure so she hires an evil bird( voiced by will arnett) to find and destroy the flower...in which he believes he does but Horton finds it in time and tries to get it to the safe place( the name i forgot) and then all the creatures of the jungle hunt horton down and want to destroy the speck and while all the chaos outside is occuring the people of whoville make as much noise as possible to prove they exist and in the nick of time they finally do....
I really loved this movie..its kinda philosophical and deep to me but also light and fun..i recommend it HIGHLY
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Post by lucaspunkari on Mar 20, 2008 21:49:51 GMT -5
2001: A Space Odyssey
I don't really know what the heck I just watched.
It's good, really good, but the feeling I had when it ended of "What did I just watch" is still with me an hour after viewing, and probably won't leave for a long while.
4 out of 5 (for now)
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Mar 21, 2008 21:50:34 GMT -5
I Am Legend
I've never read the book so I don't know how good of an adaptation it is, but I thought it was very good. I'm pretty tired right now so I don't have time for a full review, but I give it 7/10.
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Post by REDUNBECK~! on Mar 22, 2008 21:23:03 GMT -5
Once
I don't think I can fully put the experience of seeing Once into words. It's one of the most purely emotional movies I've ever seen. It's a movie about feeling, not plot. It's the simplest story of two musicians - a guy and a girl - who meet and decide to spend a few days making music together, and how beautiful the music is. He falls in love with Her and finds it to be unrequited, but this isn't like any romantic movie you've ever seen before. There isn't the big plot to win the girl, or even the big weep session over losing her. There is only the bittersweet resignation to the inevitable, and the ecstasy of expressing one's self through song.
And, my God, it's wonderful. I smiled, I cried, I recognized the absolute truth in every longing glance He gave Her. Once dug it's way into my soul and it's going to stay there for, I imagine, a long long time. It never falters; it's spell remaining unbroken as it brings you, finally, to one of the most agonizingly beautiful final shots there has ever been. In that one moment there is all the tragedy of heartbreak, and all the joy of being alive to feel that heartbreak. So simple, so perfect.
It's a masterpiece
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Post by Big DSR Energy on Mar 23, 2008 0:34:36 GMT -5
The last three movies I've seen are Dragon Wars, 10,000 BC, and...Dragon Wars, again. Ugh, Dragon Wars was big stupid fun, and the main actress sucks at her job, but is very cute. The effects were mostly cheesy, but in a funny way. 10,000 BC had Camilla Belle (who I love, though not as an actress ), but was completely boring. I wished I was Dave Chappelle, so I could whip out a "Wrap It Up" box and get this movie over with already. Dragon Wars - 2 stars out of 4 10,000 BC - 1/2 a star out of 4 (which, that half star goes entirely to Belle. Mmmmmm)
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Post by The Vitamin Z on Mar 23, 2008 0:52:56 GMT -5
I just watched the Warriors on Blu-Ray.
It looks amazing!
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Post by Bob Schlapowitz on Mar 23, 2008 19:01:53 GMT -5
Monty Python's Life of Brian
very, very funny sendup of religion from the Python fellows. 8/10.
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Jiren
Patti Mayonnaise
Hearts Bayformers
Posts: 35,163
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Post by Jiren on Mar 23, 2008 19:02:47 GMT -5
The gameplan
Not bad, not bad at all
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Post by "The Natural" Bustin Loads on Mar 24, 2008 0:18:19 GMT -5
I was crusing my bro's Starz channels on his cable hookup and came across the following film, which REALLY surprised me. Alpha Dog Man, what a really well done film. I was originally only watching it in the meantime while my brother went to go get food, but the more I saw the more interesting and fluid it got. To be honest, barring some of the classics, this is has some of the most realistic inter-character dialogues ever. I was ready to rag on it when I saw Timberlake, but the dude actually put on a hell of a performance, and due to knowing how some gangsters (white or other) speak and act, these guys had the mannerisms dead on. Anton Yelchin was pretty damn awesome too. I expected nothing but came away watching a nice, hidden gem based on a true story. Either the film exceutives got the marketing on this one all wrong, or the reviewers don't watch films and go by trailers, but I'm surprised I hadn't heard about this one. Actually reminds me of Running Scared in terms of being damn good but zoomed by the radar. Look into it. Alpha Dog: 8.5/10
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El Pollo Guerrera
Grimlock
His name has chicken in it, and he is good at makin' .gifs, so that's cool.
Status: Runner
Posts: 14,894
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Post by El Pollo Guerrera on Mar 24, 2008 1:35:07 GMT -5
Black SundayI've been reading about this movie for years. Mario Bava's work on this film (his first as full-time director) inspired a generation of movie makers. Tim Burton's "Sleepy Hollow" homaged some of the imagery from this. So, when I found a box set of Bava movies on sale, I had to try it. Story.I liked it, but I didn't love it. I'm not saying it was bad, it was quite good... the actors hit all the right notes (no over-acting), the story was interesting, the sets were beautifully done, it was very creepy and atmospheric. I'm just saying that I don't quite get why it's so revered. Maybe if I watched it through the eyes of a film student or cinematographer I'd get it. (If your opinion is different, please feel free to explain... I'd like to hear other's interpretations about this one.) So, for me, it's a good ol' horror film. Recommended if you like good ol' horror films, like the original "Dracula" or "Frankenstein".
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Post by "The Natural" Bustin Loads on Mar 24, 2008 2:08:32 GMT -5
My Super Ex-GirlfriendA pretty okay concept, dude dates a superhero who ends up being crazy and goes apecrap on him when he breaks up with her. In all honesty it's not a bad film and got numerous laughs out of me on occasion. Not a movie worth owning per se, but definetly enjoyable. Rainn Wilson (Dwight from The Office) is the highlight as Luke's friend and is pretty damn amusing as his bumbling self-prescribed woman master. That, and seeing Uma Thurman as a brunette (even if it's a wig) and Anna Faris occupy the same screen time is too hot for my TV to handle. Dispensible. My Super Ex-Girlfriend: 6.5/10
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4real
Wade Wilson
Posts: 28,701
Member is Online
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Post by 4real on Mar 24, 2008 3:48:08 GMT -5
My friends wanted to see Meet The Spartans last night.....luckily they ended up getting too drunk and we played pool all night instead. Phew!
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Mar 24, 2008 15:06:56 GMT -5
Okay, I am currently watching DOA. Yes, I know, I'm a dumbass. Anyhow, the fight scenes are so so, and it isn't even the good, cheesy fun that Mortal Kombat was. But Jamie Pressley doesn't wear much for clothes and Devon Aoki is cute. And when I saw who was playing the part of the evil genius in charge of the plot ... I just had to start laughing (Eric Smurfing Roberts? Give me a break). There is a bunch of unintentional humor in this movie, but it's not good enough to recommend.
It's not the worst movie based on a video game that I've seen, but it's not the best either. But if you like scantily clad women, a horrible plot, appearances by Kevin Nash and Eric Roberts, So so fight choreography, and of course a bikini volleyball scene, than this movie is your thing. Did I mention that Jamie Pressley doesn't wear much for clothes in this one?
I suppose if I had to rate it, I'd give it 2.5 out of 5 stars. If there were ratings to compare it to, I'd give Mortal Kombat a 3.5 out of 5 and Drive a 4.5 out of 5.
If you haven't seen the movie Drive (and you like B movies), I recommend it. It's got Mark Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison. How can you go wrong there? Plus it may have the least annoying appearance by Brittany Murphy in a movie since ...Well Hell, probably Clueless.
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bigHEADinc
El Dandy
Wanted Conway Twitty as a special title.
lest we forget...
Posts: 7,711
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Post by bigHEADinc on Mar 24, 2008 15:38:52 GMT -5
Okay, I am currently watching DOA. Yes, I know, I'm a dumbass. Anyhow, the fight scenes are so so, and it isn't even the good, cheesy fun that Mortal Kombat was. But Jamie Pressley doesn't wear much for clothes and Devon Aoki is cute. And when I saw who was playing the part of the evil genius in charge of the plot ... I just had to start laughing (Eric Smurfing Roberts? Give me a break). There is a bunch of unintentional humor in this movie, but it's not good enough to recommend. It's not the worst movie based on a video game that I've seen, but it's not the best either. But if you like scantily clad women, a horrible plot, appearances by Kevin Nash and Eric Roberts, So so fight choreography, and of course a bikini volleyball scene, than this movie is your thing. Did I mention that Jamie Pressley doesn't wear much for clothes in this one? I suppose if I had to rate it, I'd give it 2.5 out of 5 stars. If there were ratings to compare it to, I'd give Mortal Kombat a 3.5 out of 5 and Drive a 4.5 out of 5. If you haven't seen the movie Drive (and you like B movies), I recommend it. It's got Mark Dacascos and Kadeem Hardison. How can you go wrong there? Plus it may have the least annoying appearance by Brittany Murphy in a movie since ...Well Hell, probably Clueless. Some of the best scenes in this movie are Bass and Tina (Kevin Nash and Jaime Pressley) interacting... I actually had a genuine laugh a few times (Especially when he busts into the bedroom). It was definitely the closest to anybody trying to make a fighting game into a movie since the original Mortal Kombat. At least they gave the fighting in random areas plausible reasoning (To anybody who doesn't know, all the fighters were invited to the island for a tournament. Throughout the day, fights are announced and both competitors have like the next 24 hours or something to finally meet up and fight on the island, leading to lots of impromptu fights). HORTON HEARS A WHO]/b]
So I like going to see movies by myself. That frequently involves "smoking" because it just makes mostly every movie that much more enjoyable. At the same time, my head, neck, and back hurt and all I had were these prescription pain pills that have never done anything for me so I took two of those. Also, with my addiction to caffeine, I tend to get headaches and really sleepy if I don't go out of my way to have some on the weekends.
What does all of this have to do with the movie? Well, I walked out, and I just wanted to try and explain why. During the course of the movie, due to the random mix of stuff (and lack of stuff) in my body, I would just nod out at any remotely slow part. After getting a text from my friend, i decided it'd be best to just leave instead of possibly snoring and ruining the movie for other people.
But I liked it! For the hour or so that I watched I legitimately enjoyed the movie. The animation, the voice acting, the story, etc. were all superb and drew you in to their world. I also liked that, on top of everything else, there were several concurrent messages that would fly right over a kid's head. Supporting freedom of religion (Not supporting religion, per se, but against religious bigotry, from all religions including Atheism), supporting kids' rights to use their imaginations (Something that seems to be dwindling among parents nowadays), and, above all else, never discounting a life, no matter how small it may be.
But yeah, I'm definitely gonna try and catch this again when I'm not so tired because I really want to see how it all goes down.
Pre-Emptive Rating: **** out of *****
For Comparison: Ratatouille - ***** out of ***** The Incredibles - **** out of ***** Monsters Inc. - ****1/2 out of ***** Ice Age - ***1/2 out of ***** Ice Age 2 - **** out of *****
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Grendel
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
But ... why is all the rum gone?
Posts: 17,593
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Post by Grendel on Mar 25, 2008 12:10:19 GMT -5
Okay, I'm an hour into the movie Eragon, and I have to say that for a hero, this Eragon is rates fairly high on the choad level. Not since watching Peter MacNicol in Dragonslayer those many, many years ago have I just hated the hero in one of these movies. I know he's supposed to be young and brash, but he's so annoying that I was hoping for the bad guys to kill him in the first 45 minutes or so.
The story is fairly basic, and I get that it's source material is a book made for children. But there are many other movies based off of children's books that have been entertaining. I mean, how can you smurf up a movie that has a dragon in it (and yes, I was one of the few people who enjoyed Reign of Fire) this badly?
I figured that I'd give the movie a chance, and I've done so. But now I can see why this bombed at the box office. I think I got more entertainment out of DOA yesterday than this one.
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