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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 23, 2005 19:58:33 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoof walks about, checking out the new surroundings. A big smile grows on his face as he checks out the Match Board for the week: EWT Heavyweight Championship Addy Bomb versus Diamond Dallas Page
EWT Tri-State Championship Heiden-dorf versus Gene Snitsky
EWT Ox Division Championship David Adams versus Shark Boy
EWT Tag Team Championship jzbadblood & psychoapeguy?? versus the Fabulous Freebirds
The Nyrds versus The Bushwackers
HBH, Gasoline, & Rosa versus Rico, Charlie Haas, & Miss Jackie
Dave Davies versus Sandman
Pza versus Hollywood Hulk Hogan
Ultimo Chocula versus George "the Animal" Steele
Moxie versus Raven
Spaz versus Chris Benoit
Billy Ubermark versus Tajiri
fettster versus Doink the Clown
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Post by Toom E. Guci on May 24, 2005 10:17:00 GMT -5
*Toomi Bischoff is walking backstage, where he sees El Unorigino alone. Bischoff walks up to him.*
TB: El Unorigino, good to see you.
EU: que?
TB: I made a mistake the other day & didn't give you a match. Look, I'm sorry. You forgive me?
EU: que?
TB: Good, good. I'm glad. Listen, I brought this new guy in & I want ya to try him out in a match. Ok?
EU: que?
TB: His name is Rey Mysterio, Jr. I would truly appreciate it. Thanks
*Bischoff walks away as El Unorigino looks at him funny.*
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Post by obi on May 24, 2005 10:26:48 GMT -5
*the camera is focused on a dark room, where all is black except for a single hand, with a burn on the back*
Mysterious voice: Toomi. California 1986.
*toomi enters and switches the light on*
Toomi: what?
*there is nobody there. he switches the light off and walks back out. the hand appears again*
I was a champion once...once upon a time. How quickly they forget. How quickly...they stay away from you. You see, just because im missing doesnt mean im dead, it just means IM IN PAIN, I NEED HELP TOOMI! YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY ARE YOU?
Listen up Toomi, and the rest of you in the locker room. Obi is far from dead. Tomorrow, i will make my professional Return, and Toomi, i dont care if you dont believe im real or not, i want you to give me a match. If not...well, your wrestlers may start suffering mysterious injuries.
This scar...is my symbol toomi. And soon enough, the whole world will know the name.
O...B...I
*hand fades out*
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on May 24, 2005 11:40:27 GMT -5
'In the arena the lights go out and Sinster Music begins to play. The Big Screen flickers on . . . and a video showing swirling water and spinning discs of energy begins to play . . . a voice then echoes around the arena, "The Tide Will Turn!"
. . . . . . . .
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jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
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Post by jzbadblood on May 24, 2005 11:42:08 GMT -5
[Wrote by Ape]
*we go to the ring. jz is in the ring, holding the tag team titles. he's by himself in his corner. in the other corner are michael hayes and terry gordy, two members of the freebirds. regardless of not having a partner, jz doesn't hesitate and quickly begins trash talking the freebirds telling them he's ready to go. michael hayes starts thing off against jz.
they lock up and jz hits hayes with a snap mare takedown. immediately after, gordy storms into the ring and levels jz with a big forearm smash from behind. they them double-team jz and throw him off the ropes, hitting him with a double clothesline. the referee gets gordy out of the ring, and hayes goes to pick up jz. jz hits a fist to the mid section, sending hayes back a few steps. he hits another one, sending hayes back again. jz hits a third big punch, that sends hayes back to the ropes. hayes bounces off and into a hiptoss by jz. hayes gets up and walks right into a bodyslam. jz hits hayes with a clothesline then runs over and hits gordy with a big forearm smash, rocking the big man.
gordy tries to enter the ring, but the referee rushes over to prevent him. with the referee distracted, jz picks hayes up and rams his skull into the turnbuckle, then grabs the tag rope and begins choking hayes with it. when it looks as if the ref is about to turn around, jz lets go of the choke and pulls hayes into the center of the ring for a big piledriver. he goes for the cover. 1....2...kickout.
jz picks up hayes and tries to irish whips him off the ropes, but hayes holds on and manages to reverse it into a big russian leg sweep. hayes quickly crawls over and tags in terry gordy. gordy runs in and tries to drop an elbow but jz rolls out of the way. a dazed gordy gets up and tries to hit a double axehandle on jz, but jz kicks him in the gut and plants him with a ddt and goes for the cover. 1....2...kickout.
jz tries to pick gordy up, but hayes comes in and nails jz with a big kick to the ribs. the referee warns hayes, but buddy roberts, the 3rd freebird appears seemingly from nowhere and clocks the referee from behind, knocking him out cold. the three freebirds then begin to viciously attack jz.
suddenly...the lights go out. they slowly dim back to cover the arena in a blue hue. up on the toomitron, a video begins airing. the freebirds stop their beating for the moment to try and figure out what's going on.
a familiar figure appears on the toomi tron.*
psychoapeguy - jz....hehe i told you your new tag partner would be here soon...i told uncle toomi that i wouldn't let him down....hehe in fact....here he is now....
*the ape walks out of view. after a few moments, the ape walks back into the shot, wearing sunglasses, a bandana, and a tye-dye t-shirt.*
psychoapeguy - jz....baby....psychoapeguy told me you needed a tag team partner....well, daddio, you just got yourself the hippest cat in the land....jz....baby, it's me ape love! ooooooooooowwwwwwww eat turkay!!!
*the screen cuts to a black background with multi-colored flowers floating around. some bad 60's hippy music plays and the freebirds quickly get ready for an attack as they look on and see ape love walk out into the isleway. ape love walks up to the ring, where buddy roberts is waiting for him. ape love gives him the peace sign, then pokes him in the eyes and hits a double-arm ddt on the concrete.
ape love then slides into the ring and gordy and hayes begin stomping away on him. they irish whip him off the ropes and go for a double clothesline, but the ape ducks underneath. when gordy and hayes turn around, they're met with a double clothesline from jz, who has just gotten back to his feet.
jz looks at the ape in disbelief. ape love smiles at jz and pats him on the back, he then charges michael hayes and hits a big clothesline that sends both hayes and himself out over the top rope. jz, not quite sure what to make of the situation gets caught off guard by gordy, as he's hit with a big right hand. gordy hits two more punches and whips him off the ropes, going for a back bodydrop. jz sees it coming and kicks gordy in the chin and proceeds to plant him down hard with a burning hammer. jz goes for the cover. 1....2.....3.
after the match, ape love grabs the belts and rolls into the ring. he gives jz a hug and hands him a belt.*
ape love - WE DID IT, BUDDY!!
*jz fakes a smile and nod, then leaves the ring without saying a word. meanwhile, ape love dances in the ring for the fans as the bad 60's music hits again.*[glow=red,2,300]TEXT[/glow]
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Post by Poker Joker on May 24, 2005 11:46:13 GMT -5
(The scene opens in an airport. Three men are sitting in the terminal, awaiting a flight. The men on each side are I.N.S. agents, each wearing suits and trying to look official. The one on the left reads a newspaper, while the one on the right simply gazes off into the distance. The man in the middle, wearing handcuffs and his wrestling tights, is none other than Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. Billy sits quietly with a forelorn look on his face and his head in his hands. After a couple seconds, he starts to speak.)
*BU*: You guys are making a HUGE mistake!
*AGENT 1*: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
*BU*: But I'm telling you, I'm an American Citizen! I'm from Minnesota!
*AGENT 2:* Yep. And if you tell us that wolverines make good house pets, are we supposed to believe that, too?
*BU*: (sighs) Why don't you guys just check my medical records, my government records, my criminal records....
*AGENT 2*: WHOA! You've got a criminal record, too?! So you're not just an illegal immigrant, you're also a convict?!
*AGENT 1*: Doesn't suprise me one bit, Frank. You know how these guys are.
*AGENT 2*: That I do, Lloyd.
*BU*: I DO NOT have a criminal record!
*AGENT 1*: Then why are you telling us to check your criminal record?
*BU*: I just meant that you should have records that prove I'm an American! Just look at them!
*AGENT 1*: Heh! We don't need to do that. We know our job.
*AGENT 2*: Why don't you just tell us what's on you're criminal record.
*BU*: I DON'T have a criminal record! If anything, I'm a victim of a crime!
*AGENT 2*: And what crime would that be?
*BU*: Discrimination!
*AGENT 2*: What? Because you're an illegal immigrant or because you're Mexican?
*BU*: NEITHER! I'm neither of those things!
*AGENT 1*: Then why are people discriminating against you?
*BU*: Because I'm a virgin.
(The two agents stop and look at one another in puzzled disbelief. Agent 1 then goes back to his newspaper, while the other agent goes back to watching people walk by.)
*AGENT 2*: You're kidding, right?
*BU*: That I'm a virgin? No. Personally, I find it hard to believe, too. I mean, its not like I haven't tried to....
*AGENT 2* (cutting Billy off): No, no. I mean that people discriminate against you just because you're a virgin.
*BU*: Hell, no! It happens all the time!
*AGENT 2*: Uh-huh.
*BU*: IT DOES!
*AGENT 2*: If you say so.
*BU*: Well, why else would this be happening to me?
*AGENT 1*: Maybe because you're an illegal alien living in the United States under false pretenses.
*BU*: BUT I'M NOT AN ILLEGAL ALIEN!!
*AGENT 2*: You crossed the border, but never crossed back. You have no papers to say you're living here legally, so you're ILLEGAL.
*BU*: But I'm NOT from Mexico! Look at me! Do I look like I'm Mexican?
(The two agents look at Billy for a second.)
*AGENT 2*: You know, Lloyd, now that the guy mentions it. He doesn't look very Mexican. He's kind of pale.
*AGENT 1*: He's probably just sick from not drinking the water back home.
*AGENT 2*: You think so?
*AGENT 1* (turning back to his newspaper): Of course! You know what THEIR water does to us, right? Well, its probably the same thing for them when they drink OUR water. Don't let him mess with your head, Frank. Trust your instincts.
*AGENT 2*: Yeah. That makes sense to me.
*BU*: WHAT?! What the hell kind of logic is that?
*AGENT 1*: Its government logic! The best kind available! Now quit this nonsense, and get deported like a good alien!
*BU*: (whining) You've gotta be kidding me! I'm NOT FROM MEXICO!
*AGENT 1*: I've had enough of this! I'm done listening to you.
*AGENT 2*: Me too!
(Billy gets a disappointed look on his face, and goes back to sulking with his head in his hands. There is a brief silence between the three of them.)
*AGENT 2*: Say, its almost noon. Time for lunch.
*AGENT 1*: Yeah. Don't forget we have to feed this guy, too.
*AGENT 2*: I know. Hey fella. You want something for lunch.
*BU* (still sulking): Oh.... just get me a taco.
*AGENT 1* (looking over from his paper): See, Frank! He wants a taco. That proves he's a Mexican!
*AGENT 2*: (getting up from his seat) That's enough proof for me. I'll get him his taco for lunch, and then we can take him back home to Mexico!
(Billy lets out an exasperated groan, and buries his face in his chest with his hands over his head.)
*BU*: Moxie, I'll get you for this if its the last thing I do!
*AGENT 2*: What was that?
*BU*: Just shut up..... and make sure they use mild hot sauce on my taco.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on May 24, 2005 22:54:54 GMT -5
("Poor And Weird" plays as Ultimo Chocula comes bounding out from behind backstage wearing a throwback Mo Cheeks 76ers jersey instead of that beat up sweatshirt thing he likes. Lilian announces him in a half assed tone and holds the mic out knowing he's just going to take it anyway, which he does. Promo time.) UC: "Before I beat up that cro magnon cave man who looks like he's been doing Jello shots all day who I'm scheduled to face, I got a couple things to say to PiZzA. Number one: This...(holds up the belt)...is the GENE RAYBURN MEMORIAL TITLE! Ok?! If your going to run your mouth about my belt, get it right! Man, it really irratates me when people screw up proper names! Number two: you are. Number three: If you think I'm impressed because you managed to beat some geriatric old fart, you're dead wrong! Try beating someone who's not on Medicare, ya stooge! All right! Let's shoot this &*%$er!" ("Animal" by Def Leppard plays as George "The Animal" Steele comes out with Mine in tow. The crowd lets out a nostalgia pop as Lilian give him a much nicer intro. Steele acknowledges the crowd in his special way as UC looks around befuddled why people would cheer for this guy. The bell rings and both men tie up, but Steele throws UC to the ground hard. UC pops back up and tries again but just gets thrown back on his tuchus. He tries again but this time goes for a go behind waistlock. UC has the hold on a few seconds until he realizes he's rubbing himself deeply into Steele's back hair, which causes him to let go and get the heebie jeebies.) UC: "Ewwwwww!! Gaaaaa! Weellcchhhhh!!! Blech! Ick! Poo! Thtptpt!" (As UC is freaking out Steele takes the opportunity to level him with a forearm smash. He body slams UC a couple times then nails a clothesline. UC stammers to his feet but is greeted with a knee lift. Steele goes for a pin but only gets a one count. Steele keeps on UC and applies a bear hug. UC struggles but counters with a thumb to the eye that breaks the hold. Steele reels back as UC comes off the ropes with a flying forearm (thank you Tito Santana). Steele is shaky but doesn't go down. UC kicks away at his gut a few times and hits the ropes again as Steele tries to counter with a clothesline. UC ducks it, hits the opposite ropes, and nails Steele solid with a running dropkick that knocks him through the ropes to the outside. UC then hits the ropes again and blasts Steele with the Cannonball Run plancha to the outside. UC pops back up and starts taunting the crowd.) UC: "Oh, you gotta love that!" Random fan: "Up yours!" UC: "Ah, yer sister drives a pickle wagon!" (UC throws Steele back into the ring, gets onto the apron, twists as he leaps to the top of the ropes, and nails Steele with a springboard moonsault. He tries for a pin but only gets two. UC gives Steele a neck breaker, two elbow drops, and a running quick leg drop. Two count again. UC goes to the second rope and waits for Steele to get up. When he does UC leaps off and hits Steele with a hurricanrana (sp?) into a pin, but that only gets a two as well. UC tries to wear Steele down a bit more with a Boston Crab. After a few minutes of struggling Steele starts to rally back. UC can't hold his tree trunk legs anymore as Steele powers out and makes UC flip into the ropes. UC tries to regain his balance but right as he does Steele greets him with a soup bone right in the kisser. New paragraph.) (Steele gets his second wind and begins to hammer on UC. The crowd cheers him on as he send UC into the ropes and gives him a back body drop. UC gets up but Steele hits him with a gut buster. Steele picks up UC and gives him an airplane spin. When UC gets put down he stumbles around a bit dizzy, almost vomits, then gets leveled with a head butt. Steele motions the crowd as they go nuts for him. Steele then heads for the ring post, talks to Mine for a second, and proceeds to rip the turnbuckle apart, stuffing and fabric flying everywhere... The fans are loving it but as Steele goes over to finish off UC, UC low blows him knocking him to his knees. UC gets his bearings and tries to leap to the top turnbuckle, but since it's been torn apart he slips and falls face first to the mat. UC gets back up with his back to the post as Steele sees him and closes in for the kill. As Steele charges, UC reaches back, grabs Mine, and throws it in Steele's face causing him to stop and check on Mine's well being. UC uses the opportunity to lock in a full nelson, sweep the leg, and Squid Face's Steele directly into the exposed metal turnbuckle, breaking him open and knocking him out. UC hooks the leg and pins him.) Garcia: "Here is your winner.....Ultimo Chocula!" (UC celebrates with his crappy belt for a moment then goes for something under the ring and comes out with an electric shaver he put under there before the broadcast, why not? He then rolls Steele onto his stomach and begins to start shaving portions of his back. When he's done he motions for the camera man to get a shot of the words "Ultimo Is Great" shaved in Steele's back hair.) (cuts to next scene)
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on May 25, 2005 0:03:18 GMT -5
Self High Five hits the arena as the fans go crazy. Addy's music hits. Addy and Stevie come out holding hands. Addy wipes his head on the ropes and holds up his pink EWT strap.
Addy and Page lock up immediately.Page gets Addy in a side headlock.Addy pushes Page to the ropes.Page trys to shoulderblock Addy but is no sold.Page attempts another one and is met with a big boot. Addy picks up Page and tosses him into the corner.Addy begins kneeing Page repeatedly. Page fights his way out with elbows. The Beta Male is dazed. Page dropkicks Bomb in the knee causing him to fall. Page drops an elbow and slaps on a chokehold. Addy powers his way out with Page still on his shoulder. Addy gets page in position for the Beta Bomb. Addy tosses Page up and for the powerbomb. Page reverses mid air with a Diamond Cutter. Page turns around and plays to the crowd by putting up the Self High Five sign. The crowd pops loudly. Page turns around and is met with the POOOOOOOOOOUNNCE'UH! Exclamation Mark! 1-2-3
Addy and Stevie make out and walk off to the backstage area.
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Post by viscera on May 25, 2005 1:43:35 GMT -5
Suddenly Paul Poo's theme hits again as the crowd falls dead again... Paul drives out to the ring in a toilet shaped car and climbs out, walking into the rign with a microphone again. He has a smug look on his face.
P.P: Hello everyone... guess who? It's Paul... Poo! I'm here to tell you... what you should do... to learn to love poo...
Silence
P.P.: You should be nice to your poo... always flush twice, not once. Don't forget to feed your toilets with that cleaning stuff... it makes them happy!
more silence
P.P.: And finally... I Paul Poo... am challenging any of you... backstage in your underroos... next week to fight Paul Poo! Because... I challenge... ANY of you... as long as you hate poo...
Paul Poo leaves the ring, to the delgiht of everyone, glad to see him leave.
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El Unorigino
AC Slater
iTotally NOT an alt!
RIP, Huracan Ramirez
Posts: 144
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Post by El Unorigino on May 25, 2005 7:34:11 GMT -5
Over the PA: OLEEEEE! OLE OLE OLEEEE!!!!! OLLLEEEEEEE!!! O-OLEEEEE!!!!!!
*The Bouncing Souls blare over the loudspeaker, as Unorigino comes charging out, much to the delight of the fans who have missed him. He's beaming with pride as his Sexy Translator comes out. Unorigino is wearing all four Stable Title belts, two of them crisscrossing over his chest. The audience yells out the OLE! along with the music.
Some pyro goes off as Rey Rey comes flying out from under the entryway. Rey comes out to a respectable pop and slaps hands with the fans before rolling into the ring. The bell rings to signify the start of the match.
About half the crowd: Let's go, Rey Rey! Other half: Let's go, Unorig...in...o. First half: Let's go, Rey Rey! Other half: Let's go, Uno(?) First half: Let's go, Rey Rey! Unorigino: O-LE! O-LE!
*Finally, proper dueling chants to start the match. Rey and Unorigino lock up. Unorigino backs Rey into the corner and breaks the hold. Another lock up, this time Rey gets a side headlock. Unorigino launches Rey into the ropes, attempts a hiptoss, Rey lands on his feet and runs the opposite ropes. Rey slides between Unorigino's legs, Unorigino turns around. Rey grabs Unorigino's head, jumps up, and delivers a flying headscissors. Unorigino rolls to the outside. Rey runs the ropes, looking to fly, but Unorigino sidesteps, so Rey just does that 619 deal he usually does. Unorigino slides into the ring and locks up with Rey again. Rey breaks the lock up and chops Unorigino in the chest. The crowd whoo's as Rey chops. Unorigino just kinda stands there for a minute, Rey's not sure what to do. Unorigino yells out a mighty OLE! and thumbs Rey in the eye. Rey rubs his eye and walks around a bit, allowing Unorigino to roll him up in a schoolboy for a 2 count. Rey gets up, and Unorigino goes for a small package, gets another 2. Rey gets up again, Unorigino runs the ropes and gets a sunset flip for 2 again. Before Rey could get up this time, Unorigino goes for a magistral cradle for another two. This time Rey rolls out of the ring.
Unorigino runs the ropes and flies with a TOPAY! onto Rey. Unorigino lands on his feet, all proud, and lets out an OLE! The audience follows suit. Unorigino rolls Rey in and gets a 2 on the pin. Rey staggers to his feet, Unorigino charges in with a clothesline, Rey hits a drop toe hold, and Unorigino lands on the middle rope. Rey gives off his usual signals, runs the opposite ropes, runs back towards Unorigino and CONNECTS with a 619! Rey goes out onto the apron, flies with a West Coast Pop, but Unorigino counters into a sit out powerbomb! Unorigino gets up and climbs the ropes. He yells out one more huge OLE! and FLIES with a 450!!!!! Unorigino lands and the ref counts the pin, 1-2-3!
The winner of the match, Unorigino!
Unorigino beams with pride as he takes his four belts. He and his Sexy Translator take hug and celebrate, slapping hands with fans before walking up the ramp and going backstage. End Scene.
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on May 25, 2005 8:55:33 GMT -5
*A vignette. Sinister music plays throughout. There is a dark room, with only one swinging light-bulb in the centre of the room. A shadowy figure walks into the centre and grabs the bulb. It is Limey. He stares at the audience, looking angry, but keeping cool. Suddenly, he smashes the bulb with his fist, and the screen goes black. The green word "Limey" appears on the screen, and then the sequence ends.*
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ape
Unicron
Aunt Blabby Tells All.
bea wants all you sweathogs to take a look at what a REAL man is supposed to look like
Posts: 3,223
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Post by ape on May 25, 2005 9:37:09 GMT -5
(pasted from the last thread, so it can be read by the new folks without them having to look back....)
*mean gene walks up to interview psychoapeguy, still in ape love attire, backstage. ape is sitting in a bean bag chair watching a lava lamp.*
mean gene - psychoapeguy, can i have a word with you?
ape love - mean-o gene-o! daddy! i think you're confused, psychoapeguy left this place, man. he thought it was too square with his uncle toomi and jz getting so close, dadio!
mean gene - you mean...you're not psychoapeguy?
ape love - gene-o, baby...psychoapeguy is a good friend of mine, we've been....well, let's just say, we've traveled the same road. that man is a crazy cat, oooooooowwwwwwww!
mean gene - ....okay...umm....ape love....if you're "a friend" of psychoapeguy, then why did you help out jz?
ape love - maaaaaan, mean-o gene-o...i'm a man of peace and love, baby...i have nothing against jz...i think he's a cool cat, daddy. he and psychoapeguy might not have gotten along, but ape love says peace, love, and deli-cut turkaaaaay!
*ape love pulls out a package of deli-cut turkey slices and begins to eat away.*
mean gene - well...umm....thanks for your time, ape love...
*ape love stops eating momentarily. he has pieces of turkey all over his face. he gives mean gene a peace sign.*
ape love - ooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww! eat turkay!!!
*ape love turns back at the lava lamp and continues to eat his turkey as we cut to commercial.*
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Post by garyhartsgoatee on May 25, 2005 9:58:44 GMT -5
*Pza is backstage with Lord ALFred (Gordon) Shumway*
ALF: Pza... We all heard what Chocula had to say about you, what is your response?
Pza: Chocula... You come out to the ring flaunting your Jean Grayburn title and you think people are going to take you seriously? Hell, your title is named after a membr of the X-Men! Ya see, I came to the EWT because it is a company with CLASS! A company that knows how to treat their fans... Toomi B. gives the fans what they want to see! And while this place would be alot better if Toomi would give some other talent a chance to get over... This place is still one of the greatest companies in the world! And Chocula, your actions from the day you walked into those doors have sone nothing but sullie the name of this great company! AND I MUST PUT A STOP TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING! I AM GOING TO DO IT FOR MYSELF... FOR THE REPUTATION OF THE EWT... BUT MOST OF ALL...... FOR..........THE..........FANS.
ALF: Well, there you have it. This cat is seriou..... Did I just say cat? Damn i'm hungry...
*Goes to commercial*
Voice Over: Are you sick of your current ringtone? Then get one of these great EWT ringtones on your phone now! You can choose from
Adam Bomb: the POOOOOOOOOUUUUNCE exclimation point
Billy Ubermark: STOP VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION!
and El Unorigino: OLEEEE! OLE OLE OLEEEEE!
Or get these great wallpapers:
SPAZ=WORKRATE Adam *hearts* Setvie nBo- Even your phone will do the job R.I.P Obi and M. Adams
VO: Just call 1800-EWT-TONE or visit http://www.If***inghateJamster.com
*End Commercial*
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Post by obi on May 25, 2005 11:59:42 GMT -5
*commercial ends*
Joey styles: remember everyone, obi will return tonight, and explain his mysterious abscence from the world of professional wrestling...in 3 hours time!
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Post by obi on May 25, 2005 15:38:45 GMT -5
*confessions from slipknot starts up. Obi walks out*
Obi: hello EWT! *cheers* Now, a lot of you have wondered about my whereabouts, but after a lot of soul searching, i decided that my career wasnt in farming, but in wrestling. So after 2 weeks on the farm, i am back in EWT, about to kick ass! can i intruduce...sara!
* a hot piece of eye candy walks out*
This is my new...valet, and she will lead me to victory.
Sara: you know why they call him the miracle kid? because when he reads his ten commandments...we all gotta follow!
Obi: you heard it here first - obi is back from retirement and in the EWT rings - toomi, book me a match whenever ya feel like it, boy!
*obi and sara pose to the crowd. a young boy is taken towards the two, wanting an autograph. Obi grabs the pen, and throws it into the back and laughs. The kids dad comes up and pushes obi, who retaliates by grabbing the dad in a full nelson while sara kicks him in the crotch, and obi delivers a full nelson slam. as sara rolls the dad to the ring, obi grabs the stick*
Obi: you all think its funny dont you? obi, the mysteriously vanished farmboy, the one everyone wondered about, well let me get this straight - this is a shoot. Now, theres a man in the back called Rince Vusso, and he wants me to say i was on a farm. he was SUPPOSED to write good TV and have a weird comeback, but he couldnt manage it.
What you all have to realise is obi is back, there is no gimmick, there is nothing. i left because i was sick of toomi, i was sick of el unorigino, i was sick of Vusso, i was sick of the crowd!
*boos*
But now im back, and ive got one thing in mind, i want some credit, for the work i f**king do! Now, you can either f**king boo me or f**king cheer me i dont give a s**t, just make sure you dont f**king get in my way!
Joey styles: i apologise for this tirade, obi has gone insane, shooting on everyone!
Obi: now i will leave with these words: i am a miracle, and sooner or later everyone in the crowd will realise i am the man, i am the top promo cutter, i am the best allround wrestler, i am the most gifted athlete. With sara at my side, i will let nothing stop in my way...starting with this fat b**tard.
*obi runs to the ring and whips the dad into the ropes, hitting him with a tiltawhirl face crusher. He signals he is going up top, and hits the guy with a legdrop. Finally, he picks him up and turns him round, delivering a killer dropkick to the back of the head. Sara comes in and hits the guy with a DDT and a springboard moonsault. The two celebrate to a chorus of boos and leave*
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Post by dorf on May 25, 2005 19:27:22 GMT -5
*After Obi's tirade, EWT went into a commercial* *Back from commercial, JR and Keeng are rambling for the EWT's video game, "Can You Dig It, F***a!" After their jibber-jabber a new song blasted throughout the EWT arena.* "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DORF IS GOOKIN'?" "The Dorf says, The Dorf says....KNOW YER SOUL. The Dorf says, The Dorf says...KNOW YER SOUL, AND SHUT YER TRAP! The Dorf says, The Dorf says...KNOW YER SOUL. The Dorf says, The Dorf says...SHUT YER DAMN TRAP! REPEAT. *Halfway through the song, Dorf came out. The Dorf makes his presence with a little limp down the ramp. He got to the ring no problem as the chorus of boos correlate throughout the arena. As soon as Dorf entered the ring, an "a-hole" chant erupts throughout the EWT arena. Dorf grabs a mic from the timekeeper.* Dorf: Ah, yes. *"a-hole" chant is continued with the chorus of boo's in the background* Now if I can talk, maybe some progress can occur. *"a-hole" chant stop, but the boo's continue on* SHUT UP! *boo's get loud and then finally ten seconds later, the crowd gets quiet enough for Dorf to talk.* Now let's get to business; first thing is I am changing...my name. Y'all know me as Dorf...but I am now changing it to "The Dorf" as indicated by song. Secondly, the finisher as you all know the Commu-Driver is no more. It is now called...The Dorf-plex. Thirdly, The Dorf will be, and I SAID WILL BE EWT WORLD....HEAVYWEIGHT...CHAMPION once I am 100% able to compete. And finally, the only problem in my way is Toomi Bischoff, but tonight, I am going to give my apology to him. The only way I am going to apologize to our EWT general manager is that he apologizes to me first. Now BISCHOFF, I don't have all night...so get your ass down to the ring right NOWWWWWWW! *Bischoff's music plays as cheers echo throughout the arena. Bischoff does the McMahon strut down the aisle and enters the ring just fine* TB: Dorf.. Dorf: Get it right, "The Dorf" TB: No, Dorf. Dorf: "The Dorf," Bischoff *annoyed* TB: If you tell me what to do one more time, YOUUUUUREEEEEEEEE FIREEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!!! *Dorf hesitates* I'll call ya "The Dorf" whenever I feel like it, remember Dorf, I'm Toomi Bischoff, general manager and owner of EWT. I made you and I can break you. Dorf: Ok, fine. The Dorf says let's get this apology over with so that we can be fine and dandy even. TB: Alright, are you ready to apologize Dorf? Dorf: Whoa! The deal was that you apologize first Toomi Bischoff. TB: Oh yeah! *laughing* I will apologize first, Dorf...that's if you do one thing for me. It's not that hard. Dorf: Really? The Dorf likes this, Tooms. What do you want me to do? Do a sit-up? *performs sit-up in the ring, as Toomi Bischoff shakes his head no* Kiss the ring? *kisses ring * TB: It involves kissing, but not the ring. Dorf: NO! The Dorf will not kiss yer ass like 'WWE' did five years ago with Vince and Regal. TB: Dorf, I'm not that stupid. I'm Toomi Bischoff, EWT general manager and owner. Besides, working for me is a kiss-ass job to begin with. Dorf: Okay, I'm willing to kiss whatever you say. TB: Get ready to kiss...*crowd cheers*...my ring! Dorf: A ring? Ya got to be kidding me. TB: No Dorf, I am not kidding you. That is all you have to do. Dorf: Know what? I'm gonna do it now. *kisses Toomi Bischoff's ring quickly * TB: I am terribly sorry for what I have had treated you all this time Dorf and we are now considered even, if you apologize back. Dorf: Ok Bischoff, I apologize for what I have done. *pauses* UGH! What is that smell? Toomi Bischoff: *laughing* Dorf....say hello to Stink Palm! *Bischoff lunges his stink palm to Dorf's face and makes Dorf pass out from it.* TB: We're even Dorf...there's nothing you can do about it. So when you come back in 2 months, they may be a title shot in your corner, but only if you don't bother me. *Bischoff leaves as the crowd cheers are unheard of*
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Post by invaderdave on May 25, 2005 19:56:07 GMT -5
Silence. And then, the chords begin play. A very familiar riff blares over the PA system. The crowd stands up and screams. "Enter Sandman" is playing. Instead of coming out right away, the wrestler waits until the drums kick in. Sandman has entered the arena. Following him is Woman, carrying his Singapore cane. Sandman already has a cigarette in his mouth, smoke puffing from the tip. A beer in hand, he walks down to the bottom of the ramp. Instead of stepping into the ring, he cracks open the can, guzzles it down, and crushes it into his head multiple times, drawing a small trickle of blood. Sandman steps into the ring. "Epic" by Faith No More hits. David, not having quite an impressive entrance as Sandman, just walks down to the ring, slides in, stands on top of a turnbuckle, and salutes the crowd.
Both Sandman and Davies stare at eachother, not moving an inch. Ten minute pass. Another ten minutes. The crowd doesn't stop rumbling for the full twenty minutes. Finally, Sandman moves. He takes a pack of cigarettes out, lights one, and puffs on it. He offers Dave a cigarette, which he declines. Sandman walks back over to his corner, and the staredown continues. Ten minutes later, neither have moved. Dave finally moves, and walks over to Sandman. Dave points at his chin. Sandman nods, and fires his best punch at Dave, and he goes stumbling. Dave grabs onto the rope, and gains his bearings. Sandman steps over to Dave, and points at his own chin. Dave nods, and hits him the best he can himself, and Sandman staggers around as well. After Sandman stops, they nod, and both trade punches. After ten or so quick punches to eachother, Dave hits a spinning roaring elbow to Sandman's head, and Sandman stumbles back into the ropes. Dave hits the ropes opposite, and hits a Cactus style clothesline to Sandman to the outside. Once outside, the brawl continues. Dave whips Sandman toward the rails, but Sandman reverses it and Dave takes the crash into the barrier. Woman hands Sandman his Singapore cane, and he lines it up. He jabs the butt end of the cane into Dave's chest, doubling him over. Sandman then raises the cane above his head and whips it down on Dave's back, over and over again. The cane soon actually breaks, and Sandman grinds the broken end into Dave's forehead.
Dave begins fighting back from underneath, punching Sandman in the stomach. Finally, when Dave has Sandman reeling, Dave hits an overhead belly 2 bells, sending Sandman over the barrier. Dave's lands on the barrier back first, and Dave's in pain. Dave manages to get up and bear it, and climb over the barrier. Sandman pops up and hits him in the head with a pan. Dave falls back over the barrier, and Sandman follows. Dave rolls back into the ring, and Sandman slides in as well. Sandman stomps on the downed Dave, and hits a quick falling elbow drop. Sandman stands, and hits another one. Sandman stands, and tries for yet another one, but Dave rolls out of the way. Dave gets to his feet, and hits Sandman with a quick DDT, and rolls outside. Dave goes into the crowd and grabs a chair, and gets back into the ring, chair in hand. Dave raises it above his head, but Sandman boots him in the stomach, and Dave drops the chair. Sandman positions himself correctly, and piledrives Dave on top of the chair. Sandman goes for a cover, but only gets a two count. Sandman rolls Dave over and begins to choke him blatant. Dave climbs to his feet, as Sandman hangs off his neck. Dave then jumps backwards and lands on top of Sandman, sandwhiching him between himself and the mat. Dave gets up, grabs the chair, and hits a standing moonsault, putting the chair between himself and Sandman.
Dave rolls off Sandman, and lays in the ring for a while. The ref begins his ten count however, and Dave stands up, as does Sandman. Dave grabs Sandman and shoots him to the ropes. Dave bends down, looking for a back body drop, but Sandman quickly hits a DDT. Sandman gets up, and looks around for a few weapons of miniscule destruction. Sandman rolls Dave out of the ring, and goes out himself. Sandman begins asking crowd members for weapons, whilst Dave comes up from behind him. Dave tosses Sandman over the barrier, and follows him into the crowd. Dave and Sandman brawl through the crowd, and reach a raised platform. Dave plans on suplexing Sandman onto the platform, but Sandman drives him into the raised part of the platform, and begins jamming his shoulder into Dave. Dave stops it by underhooking Sandman's arms, and hitting a Butterfly Suplex onto the platform. Dave gets onto the platform, picks up Sandman, and Dragon Suplex's him on the platform, bridging for a pin. The ref runs through the crowd, and counts to two, as Sandman kicks out. Sandman gets up and pushes Dave off the platform. Sandman follows him, and brawls with him, Sandman handing out most of the shots. Sandman and Dave battle their way to a door, and disappear through the door. Soon, they reappear at the top of the ten foot balcony;
Fan 1: Hey, if they have a new budget and everything, why do they have a ten foot balcony?
Fan 2: *shrugs*
Sandman backs Dave up against the edge of the balcony, and plans on knocking him over and down to the floor. Sandman winds up for the grand finale, but Dave ducks the shot, and hooks his arm, grabbing his other arm and hooking it as well, putting Sandman in a full chicken wing hold. Dave maneuvers so that his back is to the edge, and pulls back, hitting a Tiger Suplex. Instead of going down himself, Dave hooks his legs onto the edge and lets Sandman fall to the floor, going through a stack of tables that just happened to be there at the time. Sandman doesn't break through the last table though, and lays precariously on top of it. Dave stands tippy toe on the very edge of the balcony, and puts his hand together in a prayer. He then speads his arms, and swan falls off the balcony, crashing through Sandman and table with his upper chest and head. The crowd roars. Dave slowly covers Sandman, and the ref counts to three. Dave's music hits, and Dave begins to walk to the back, but goes back to Sandman and helps him up. Woman hands Sandman two beers, and offers Dave one. Dave takes it, they both crack open their brews, and swill to their heart's content.
Go to commercial...
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on May 25, 2005 23:29:09 GMT -5
*Addy and Stevie are sitting in the lockerroom talking* Addy:You think I should? Stevie: Definetly, go for it. Addy:I think it's a good idea....just not sure though. Stevie: Trust me....it is. Jim Hoss:What was that about? *commercial break* Wanna find out about your favorite superstars? Wanna hear some interesting storys about you favorite EWT superstars on the road? Well, EWT:Are we there yet? is coming to a bookstore near you. Buy it at EWT Shopzone now. Who wants a shot at this?
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Post by Poker Joker on May 26, 2005 8:42:02 GMT -5
(LOCATION: Mexico! Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark is wandering around Mexico City. His ring attire has been confiscated by Mexican officials, and he is now wearing old tennis shoes, a pair of ragged blue jeans and a t-shirt that reads "I Recently Got Deported, And All I Got To Keep Was This Lousy T-Shirt". He approaches a small, street bench and sits down as the Mexican citizens wander past him, going about their daily business.)
*BU*: Oh, man! I'm stuck in Mexico! I lost my wrestling tights! I lost my boots! And the newest copy of Playboy comes out, THIS WEEK, and I can't.... get it.... because I'm DON'T.... HAVE.... ANY... MONEY!!! Dear God, this SUCKS! Ohhh, Moxie, you are gonna pay for this! You are gonna pay, DEARLY!
(A little Mexican kid walks up to Billy.)
*BU*: What do you want?
*Little Kid*: (Says nothing but stands there and smiles.)
*BU*: Get away from me! Quit staring at me!
*Little Kid*: (Just stands there, smiling.)
*BU*: Oh, I get it. You're just doing this because you know I'm still a virgin, aren't you! Even down here, there's virgin discrimination! Crimmany! Boy, I'll bet you've never seen a virgin, either.... considering the "family structure" here in Mexico. Hell, you're probably not even a virgin yourself.
*Little Kid*: (The kid stands silent, smiling at Billy for a few more seconds. Then he finally points at him and says something) Tu es Don Flamingo!!!
*BU*: What did you say?
(The child's mother finally walks up and takes the child by the hand. She scolds him in Spanish for running away.)
*Little Kid*: (pointing at Billy as he's led off) Mama! Es Don Flamingo!!
(Billy takes this in for a few moments, and then realizes what the child said.)
*BU*: That's right! When I was wrestling down here at the school, I went under the name of Don Flamingo! How the hell could I forget that?!
(Billy takes a look around him)
*BU*: Oh, yeah. Because I that was in Mexico... along the border towns, no less. That's why I forgot about it. Geez, talk about memories that need to be repressed. Still, this is a great opportunity for me! If that little kid remembers me, then other people will, too.... because I was a SUPERSTAR in the border towns! My fans will help me get back to the United States!
(Billy thinks for a few minutes with a big grin on his face.)
*BU*: I wonder if my Spanish is still any good.
(Billy stops a lady on the street and asks her for the time in his best spanish, though he stammers a little bit. The lady gives him the time.)
*BU*: YES! I still remember it!
(Billy then asks the same lady if she'd like to have sex with him. She hauls off and slaps him across the side of the face.)
*BU*: UGH! Yep.... I know Spanish. That was the same result I got when I was training down here. Oh well. Now maybe I can get myself back home! And when I do.... Moxie, you'd better watch your ass!!
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on May 26, 2005 9:31:44 GMT -5
*back at the Arena* The Fink: Ladies & Gentlemen the following match is scheduled for one-fall . . . In the ring currently . . . Weighing 240lbs . . . Barry Waterhouse (jobber) . . . and his Opponent . . . *On that word the Lights go out and he swirling Vortex appears on the screen . . . the music of Neptune begins . . . A cloud of Blue Gas swirls from the stage . . . . as the heavy rock music now kicks in the Gas is blown skyward and Maelstrom has appeared . . . he walks to the ring . . .* The Fink: . . . from the village of Darkwater . . . . .weighing in at 284lbs . . . . MAELSTROM !! . . Maelstrom enters the ring . . . . while Barry scarpers to the outside . . . after being reassured by the ref Barry re-enters the ring. *there goes the Bell and this match is under way * Barry and Maelstrom lock up, but Barry is just pushed away by Maelstrom's strength, Barry tries again and goes for an irish whip, Maelstom reverses and hits Barry with a vicious clothesline. . . barry gets up . . . unsure of his opponent he comes off the ropes and goes for a cross body . . . Maelstrom catches him though . . . he walks around the ring with barry in his grasp . . and theres a powerslam and a beauty by Maelstrom . . . Maelstrom is shaking his head . . . Barry doesn't know what's going on . . . looks like Maelstrom is going for the 'Whirlpool' . . . . with authority . . . 1,2,3. The Fink: Your winner . . . MAELSTROM! . . . *Maelstrom grabs the mic from the Fink. . . Finkel heads for row 38 . . . Barry remains on the ring floor * Maelstorm: This is just the beginning of my Domination of the EWT! and No Matter who gets in my way . . .be they big or small, wrestler or member of staff. . . I will become the EWT Champion . . .because . . . *Barry is trying to get up . . . Maelstrom picks Barry from off the floor and sets him up for a suplex . . . he lifts him with one hand and stalls . . . the other hand still holding the mic . . * Maelstrom: I will not rest until I have achieved my Goal . . . (in a loud booming voice) . . . THE TIDE WILL TURN! * and on that Maelstrom hits The Vortex on poor Barry . . . Maelstrom's music plays as he leaves the ring*
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