Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Nov 12, 2005 3:38:45 GMT -5
LILLIAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere, and it is for the EWT Girl Next Door Championship!
*”Sexy Guy” plays as Rosa and HBH head to the ring.*
LILLIAN: Entering first is the challenger, being accompanied to the ring by Bret Michaels…ROSA!
*As Rosa gets into the ring, “If You Close Your Eyes” plays as Linda enters the arena, carrying a cart of Hardcore items down to the ring. Rosa sees this and runs at Linda, who’s still going down the ramp. Linda sees this and pushes the cart into Rosa, knocking her to the ground. Linda grabs the cart to make it stop going down the ramp, and sets it down by the ramp. Linda searches through the cart, and grabs a trash can. Linda heads back up the ramp to Rosa, and prepares to place it over her, but Rosa slams a trash can lid she grabbed before she was knocked down into Linda. Linda stumbles over to the ground, and Rosa drops the lid, and searches through the cart for a new weapon. Rosa finally takes her hand out, and grabs onto a bowling pin. Linda is getting up close to the ring, and Rosa is reday to strike. Linda ducks, Rosa misses, and Linda hits a DDT onto Rosa. Linda goes to pin Rosa.*
1!2!
*Rosa kicks out. Linda picks Rosa up and throws her into the ring post. Rosa is down on thr ground, her forehead opened up from hitting the pole. Linda goes back to the cart, and pulls out a traffic sign. She heads back to Rosa, who’s getting off the floor, and slaps it into Rosa’s back. As Rosa falls back to the floor, Linda hits the sign into her repeatedly until the sign begins to bend. Linda goes to pin Rosa again.*
1!2!
*HBH hurries over and picks Linda up off of Rosa. HBH takes Linda’s head and slams it into the barrier. He grabs Linda again and whips her into the side of the ring. Linda grabs at her back in pain. HBH goes to Rosa, helps her up, and hands her a chair. Rosa walks slowly to Linda, blood dripping down her face, and slams the chair right into Linda’s face! Linda falls down, her forehead slowly trickling with blood. Rosa falls on Linda for the pin.*
1!2!
*Linda gets an elbow up. Rosa picks Linda up and rolls her into the ring. Rosa is outside on the apron, shouting for HBH. HBH gets into the ring, goes to the nearest corner, and stomps his foot down. He stomps down several times until Linda gets up, and hits the SWEET CHIN MUZAK! Rosa gets into the ring, and goes to pin.*
1!2!
*Just then, the count is interrupted by the blaring tones of Gasoline’s theme. HBH, Rosa, and the ref look at the Titantron, and see Gasoline heading down to the ring. Once he enter the ring, HBH and Rosa stare at him in shock. After a few seconds, HBH charges at him, but is met with a boot to the face, knocking HBH to the canvas. Gasoline looks over at Rosa, backing into acorner, but Gasoline grabs her, and hits the Jacknife Powerbomb on Rosa. Gasoline exits the ring, and walks to the top of the ramp, watching in mockery as Linda crawls on top of Rosa, and goes for the pin.
1!2!3!
*The bell rings, and Linda rolls off of Rosa to the outside of the ring. The ref hands her her GND title, and Mike and Joe come down and help their sister into the back. HBH gets up, and looks at Gasoline in anger. Gasoline just laughs it off, his arms crossed, as we fade to commercial.*
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Post by girlnextdoor on Nov 12, 2005 9:43:46 GMT -5
*Back to the darkness, a voice can be heard singing.*
Hi-ho the me-ri-o I'm as happy as can be I want the world to know Nothing ever worries me
I've got no strings So I have fun I'm not tied up to anyone They've got strings But you can see There are no strings on me
*The singing stops as the voice begins to speak.*
You know, I have sat here day after day after day after day after day. Thinking about my past. About what you did to me.
But soon, soon...I will come get you. Do you know why?
BECAUSE YOU HURT ME MANY TIMES!!!
Ever had a cigarette burn? THAT'S WHAT MY PAIN IS LIKE!!
Sure, you didn't smoke. Smoking is bad. Tobacco...tumor causing, teeth staining, puking, smelly habit. Teehee. Teehee. Teehee. Teehee.
I know what you're thinking. I know you because we were friends so long ago. You think I'm lying. YOU THINK I'M LYING!!!!
Well, I am not lying. I am sitting up. Lying is wrong. You lied alot. You lied to me. You lied about the truth.
YOU STOLE FROM ME!!! YOU MOCKED ME!!! YOU WOULDN'T LET ME EAT!!! YOU TREATED ME LIKE A PUPPET!!! YOU HURT ME!!!
YOU HURT ME!!!
You hurt me.
You hurt me.
But I am not hiding anymore. I will make you pay. Because I am coming. I am coming home. And I am going to make you suffer.
I'm coming home.................
*The voice breaks out in song again.*
I live my life in the gutter And this gutter is who I am Take me back home to my gutter And I swear I won't ever leave again!
Hey, I'm coming home Home to the criminals and crooks Home to the gangbangers shooting dirty looks Home to the killer cops beating on my ass Home to my '72 Velarick, praying it will last Pass by the rich b****es trying to play me out Dawging on my neighborhood, don't know what it's about So now I'm clockin dunkets, never hang out with the rich I'd rather hang out with the crooked at the party store, pregnant dog Give me codey, dawg, with a little smog Cuz it tastes better than the poisonous fog Seeping from the sewers in my slummy neighborhood But the ghetto got love and the love is all good So I don't give a f*** about your mansion by the lake You can suck my dingaling until your neck breaks Cuz all I wanna do is hang with the zombie In the zone, break out with the Faygo, I'm coming home
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
B****, I'm coming home and I'm not alone Jokers and freaks, and their dead body bones Every single thing that you never wanna see Add it all together and you got me I know nobody gives a f*** about your punk ass rules Keystone coppers and your hypocrite schools I'd much rather lay around the streets of the gutter And make dirty phone calls to your rich mother Caught her passed midnight and I'm waking up the dead Then we playin kickball with somebody's head We got skinny dipping in the barrels of toxic waste After that I pour myself a little taste So tell your daughter that she's nothing but a fat b**** And all my homies don't care if the hoes rich Somebody out here, please, let me know where there's a phone I need to call my mother and tell her I'm coming home
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
And I'm coming home, chicken chicken bones Sugar prom bushes, and ice cream cones All these fake people sayin hi to one another Then they sit around and talk s*** about each other Watering they grass, digging in they ass Trying to make sure they didn't lose any cash Working hard, all your life, and now you're finally rich But look at you, you're just another whack b***
Crawl in the slum that's where I'm from Murderers and slaughterers, so that's what I've become Spare a little change cuz I just ran out of gas Reach for your quarter and I'll stick your f***in ass
Nobody wants to be around the ghetto breed But the ghetto got each other and that's all we really need So what the f*** am I doing down here, I gotta land of my own Eh yo, dawg, f*** it, huh, we going home
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
Home to the creatures, home to the crooks Home to the fools readin witchcraft books Home to the monsters roaming the land I wanna come home but ya don't understand
*The singing stops as the figure finally walks out of the shadows. The person resembles a woman wearing tattered clothes & a mask similar to Mankind's mask. Long hair streams out from under the mask.*
I'm home now. I'm home. And I am going to make you suffer like I did all those years ago.
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Nov 12, 2005 13:20:24 GMT -5
*Cut to backstage*
Sum Guy: Hi. I'm Sum Guy, and I'd make a better world champion than David Arquette. Joining me now are the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels and Rosa. Bret, we all saw what happened in Rosa's match with Linda Ragnal, and now I'd like to get your reaction.
HBH: Let me tell you something. Gasoline is nothing but a bitter and jealous man. He knows that he can never be a bigger star than me, so he's trying drag me down to his level to save face.
Rosa: I had Linda beat right in the middle of that ring. If it wasn't for that big oaf, I would be the new Girl Next Door Champion right now. But no, I was screwed out of that title AGAIN! Believe me, there will be hell to pay.
HBH: Damn right. Nobody messes with the Heartbreak Hitman and gets away with it.
*Gasoline walks into the picture smiling*
HBH: What the hell do you want?
Gas: You see Bret, that was just the beginning. I told you, the Gas-powered monster has been awaken, and he's headed straight for you. So if I were you, I'd be on my best guard. *looks at Rosa* What's the matter, Rosa? Upset because you couldn't get the job done in your match? Don't worry. There's still one thing you're very good at: laying flat on your back.
*This makes Rosa very angry. She goes to slap him, but Gas blocks it*
Gas: Uh uh. I wouldn't do that if I were you. You wouldn't like it very much when the monster gets even more angry. And remember, no matter what you do, no matter where you go, the monster is coming. Have a nice day.
*Gasoline walks off. Frustrated, HBH punches a wall and walks off with Rosa*
SG: Whoa. I guess that concludes the interview. Until next time, I'm Sum Guy, and I'm more desperate than those skanky housewives.
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B.A.
Grimlock
Posts: 13,335
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Post by B.A. on Nov 12, 2005 13:48:52 GMT -5
Lillian: The following contest is the best out of five series..for the OX Division championship!!
*Party starter plays*
Lillian:On the way to the ring...the challenger.. SPAZ!!! spaz walks to the ring, and gets in and then raises his arms to the crowd. The crowd cheers wildly.
Spazs music shuts off and remedy plays Crowd:boooo
Lillain: And now on the way to the ring...the OX Division champion..Eddie Omega!!!
Eddie is wearing his sunglasses and walks down to the ring with tape on his wrists. Hes determined tonight. He walks into the ring and spaz is looking at him and when eddie has his back turned to give his title over spaz attacks him.
*Crowd cheers*
Spaz is just hammering eddie in the corner. He clubs him over and over, and Eddie is getting brutalized. The ref gets in between the both and spaz, true to his name is hyped up. Eddie tries to recover from the beating. He gets up but spaz goes back over to him and kicks him in the stomach. It looks like indeed hes going to go for the three amigos. He gets the first suplex off, and the second but eddie counters this time and does an european uppercut to spaz. He irish whips spaz into the corner and begins to punch him.
Ref:1....2....3.....4......
Eddie backs off and then rushed spaz with a high knee. The crowd knows what time it is and the boo, when eddie looks to them. Eddie backs up and then rushes him again in the corner. He then begins the pi kappa slappa and sets him up on the turnbuckle. Hes climbs to the top rope but spaz knocks him off.
Spaz looks to the audience and does a shooting star press onto eddie.
The announcers that are covering it think its over, but eddie puts his foot on the bottom rope. Spaz then picks eddie up, does an irish whip and back body drops him. He goes for another pin but eddie kicks out. Eddie rolls out the ring and grabs his title and wants to leave the arena. But spaz follows eddie and turns him around to punch him. He grabs eddies hair and begins to run with him to slam it on the steel steps but eddie counters by putting his foot up and slamming spazs head. They both get into the ring while spaz is hurt. Eddie looks over and runs into the ropes and drops an elbow. Quick cover
ref:1.....2.....
Spaz kicks out and eddie is mad, he throws spaz into the turnbuckle, and then goes outside the ring again. While the ref is checking on spaz, eddie grabs a chair and brings inside the ring. The ref turns around in time to see the chair and tries to take it away from eddie. In the melee, spaz goes to the top rope and dropkicks eddie from behind but the ref holding the chair goes sailing. S
Spaz looks around and see the steel chair. He picks it up and does the unbelievable. He cracks eddie over the head with it and the ref sees this and calls for the bell. The shot was incredible and for that reason eddie omega is out cold and not even moving. Spaz throws the chair down and gets on the mic.
Spaz: Hey eddie!!! Believe the Hype now!
Trainers and emts come down to check on eddie, and try to get him awake while eddie is declared the winner by dq. Spaz then goes through the ropes and now that it is 2-2, the next match will be at the ppv to determine the winner.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Nov 12, 2005 14:50:50 GMT -5
(Backstage Sum Guy is doing another one of his five star interviews with Paul Podanski.)
Sum Guy: "Hello everybody! I'm Sum Guy and I wear rubber boots to bed. I'm here with current Toolbelt Champion Paul Podanski who recently got his title back from Ultimo Chocula. Paul, do you think Ultimo is still a threat?"
Paul: "Hell no! That guy is just a skinny punk who doesn't know when to stay out of my business! If he tries to.....what the?"
(Two guys carrying a pane of glass walk by.)
Glass Guy 1: "Excuse us! We're just carrying this pane of glass!"
Glass Guy 2: "Pane of glass coming through!"
Paul: "Yeah. Sure. Anyway, this Toolbelt championship is all about being hardcore! Something Chocu-face wouldn't know the first thing about!"
Sum Guy: "Good point. But you know about his desire to be a champion. He'll stop at nothing to get gold in........um.....what?"
(The two guys carrying a pane of glass come back into the scene.)
GG1: "Sorry! Sorry! We just got to get this pane of glass where it's going!"
GG2: "Yep! Don't worry about us! We'll get this pane of glass where it's supposed to be!"
Sum Guy: "That was random. But back to UC. Since he's so desperate for a title and the Toolbelt Championship is defended 24/7, what makes you think he won't try again?"
Paul: "He can try, but as I said before he's not a threat. If he shows his needle nose around here he's going to get another..........oh man. Not again."
(Back once again are those two guys carrying a pane of glass.)
GG1: "Excuse us! Pane of glass! Make some room!"
GG2: "We got a pane of glass here! One side!"
Paul: "Hey! Do you guys think you can knock that off! I'm trying to do an interview here!"
GG1: "Ok, ok. We'll just put the pane of glass down right here. We won't bug you again."
GG2: "We could use the rest anyway. This big ol' pane of glass sure is heavy."
(The two guys put the glass down and hold it upright. Paul continues.)
Paul: "Thanks guys. Where was I?"
Sum Guy: "Chocula's a wimp."
Paul: "Right. If he tries to take this belt away from me again I'll put my fist so far into his skull that he'll...."
From off screen: "JUMANJI!"
(Suddenly UC pops into view with a dropkick right to the back of Paul's head and he goes down. Sum Guy and the two men carrying the pane of glass scatter. Paul is back up and now he's trading punches with UC. UC knees Paul in the stomach and he doubles over. UC finds a Castle Greyskull playset and screams "I have the power!" before bringing it down over Paul's head. UC picks up Paul by the neck and he throws him directly into..........................
The brick wall that was right beside the pane of glass! Paul's head bounces off the wall and UC rolls him up. A referee appears and makes the three count then disappears just as quickly. UC grabs the Toolbelt championship and a graphic appears in the lower lefthand corner of the screen.)
Two! *ding!*
(UC takes off as the new champion. Paul staggers up and takes off after him. The two men come back into view and survey the scene.)
GG1: "Wow! That sure was something. I'm glad nothing happened to this pane of glass!"
GG2: "Me too! If this pane of glass got broken we'd be in big trouble!"
GG1: "No doubt! Let's get this pane of glass out of here before something else happens!"
(They lift up the pane of glass but the second guy accidentally drops his end and a two inch crack appears on the corner.)
GG1: "Way to go, numbnuts."
Sum Guy: "Well, there you have it. UC is the new Toolshed champion, Paul is mad again, and some glass got broken. I'm Sum Guy and I used to live in an empty septic tank."
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jzbadblood
Unicron
Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Posts: 3,052
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Post by jzbadblood on Nov 12, 2005 19:56:12 GMT -5
All of the sudden the lights in the arena go out, they flicker back on and Jz is standing in the middle of the ring with the ring announcer in powerbomb position, slamming him to the mat. The lights go back out and come back on. Now we are left with the ring announcer laying in an akward position dead center in the middle of the ring, and everyone at ringside calling for help.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Nov 12, 2005 20:31:42 GMT -5
*As all rush to ringside to aid the ring announcer, they stop dead in their tracks at the famaliar music of Toomi Bischoff. Bischoff walks past all & heads into the ring, where he grabs the microphone up from the ground & begins to speak.* Well, well, well....I leave here for a little over a month to go on vacation & what happens? Some little s*** comes in, proclaiming himself as the boss & wasting my money. MY MONEY!!! You all forget who built EWT up from the ground. It wasn't the idiots in the back. It wasn't you moron fans. IT WAS ME!!! IT WAS ME!!!! Toom E Dangerously And now I am back. Back to take what is rightfully mine. For starters, what the hell are we doing in Alaska? This frozen wasteland doesn't deserve wrestling at all. NOT AT ALL!!! And dorf as champion? dorf is unfitting to even tie my damn shoe, let alone strap a championship around his waist. Things are going to change around here. And there going to change for the better. The better of my pocket. As EWT returns to it's roots. The roots that I created. The roots that made this industry what it is today. Not some two bit circus run by a f***ing midget. I'm back. And there is one thing for you all in the back to realize. You're either with me or your unemployed. What's it going to be ladies & gentlemen? Now, I must go look at some contracts & get rid of the garbage around here. This show is over. Back to the Bingo Hall. *Toom E dangerously drops the microphone & decides to kick the announcer while he's down. Dangerously leaves the ring & doesn't bother to acknowledge the fans as he walks by them.*
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