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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:37:51 GMT -5
* Season’s Beatings opens with soldiers lined up at the entryway, guns aimed in the air. A 21 Gun Salute is fired off for the EWT superstars, as well as a flyover from Blackhawk choppers. As the flyover finishes, an explosion could be heard in the distance that gets a loud cheer from troops all around. Fireworks light the Iraqi sky for a change. Lillian Garcia enters the ring, as all soldiers salute her. Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner as silence fills the makeshift arena. Lillian leaves in tears as the crowd starts a chant, handing the reigns over to the ring announcer for a few.*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is a Tables Finisher Match. The only way to win the match is to put your opponent through a table by using your finisher.
*“Sexy Guy” hits*
RA: Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Rosa, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*The troops boo and heckle the couple. HBH mouths off back at them. He gets in the ring and does a little posing. Then “Gas Power” hits*
RA: And his opponent, weighing in at 323 lbs., “Big Daddy” Gasoline!
*The troops roar as Gasoline heads to the ring. He high fives a few of them at ringside. He gets into the ring and stares down HBH*
The bell rings to start the match. HBH and Gas circle the ring. They lock up. HBH gets in an arm wrench. Gas reverses it and breaks out an arm wrench of his own. He then whips HBH to the ropes. HBH goes for a shoulder takedown, but Gas doesn’t budge. Gas yells out “Come on!” to HBH. HBH runs to the ropes again and attempts another shoulder block. Gas still doesn’t move. HBH runs to the ropes again and is hit with a hard clothesline by Gas. The crowd pops. Gas keeps the momentum going with another clothesline. Then he gives HBH a press slam. Next he clotheslines HBH out of the ring. Gas raises a fist and lets out a yell, and the crowd cheers. Next he runs to the ropes and dives between the ropes to HBH outside. The crowd goes bananas. Gas whips HBH into the steel steps. He bangs his head on the steps a few times. Then he rolls HBH back in. He grabs a table from under the ring and is about to slide it in, but Rosa hits him in the back. This barely affects Gas. He turns around with a mean stare, and she backs off. He tries to slide the table into the ring again, but by this time, HBH is back up, and he hits a baseball slide to the table, which hits Gas and knocks him backward. HBH gets out of the ring and quickly goes on the offensive. He lands some punches and chops, then whips him into the outside rail. He hits a few more punches and then rolls him back into the ring.
HBH starts to beat on him some more, but Gas gets up and rams HBH into the corner. He hits a few shoulder thrusts and then pummels him. Gas whips HBH to the opposite corner. HBH blocks Gas’s charge with a boot. He runs at him, but is met with a powerslam. Gas picks up HBH and performs a delayed vertical suplex. He runs to the ropes and hits a leg drop. Then he lifts up HBH and gives him a gorilla press slam. He gets out of the ring, grabs the table, and slides it in. Then he gets back in the ring to set it up. He motions that he’s going to put HBH through a table and the crowd roars. He sets up for the Jackknife Powerbomb, but before he can pull it off, HBH hits a low blow and then a swinging neckbreaker. He moves the table out of the way and goes to work on Gas. He punches Gas while he’s on the mat. Next he picks up Gas and bangs his head onto the turnbuckle. HBH stomps a mud hole in him. Then he runs at him and hits a dropkick. The crowd boos while he does some posing in the ring. HBH continues working on Gas by hitting a knee drop to the head. He picks up Gas and hits a backbreaker. He climbs to the second rope and hits a diving elbow.
HBH performs a snapmare on Gas, followed by a pullover neckbreaker. He holds Gas’s legs and gets in a kick to the groin. Then he does a wishbone leg splitter. He does some more posing and gets booed for it. Then he picks Gas up and hits some punches, kicks and chops. He whips Gas to the ropes. Gas ducks an attempted clothesline and hits HBH with a flying shoulder block. Both men get back to their feet and exchange punches. Gas gets the upper hand and whips HBH to the ropes, hitting a back body drop. He follows that up with an inverted atomic drop and then a Samoan drop. HBH gets to a corner and gets to his feet. Gas runs at him, hitting a splash. HBH stumbles forward, allowing Gas to hit a spinebuster. He signals for the end of the match as the crowd cheers him on. He moves the table to the middle of the ring. Then he sets HBH up for the Jackknife Powerbomb. He pulls it off...
but HBH doesn’t go through the table, because Rosa moved it out of the way!
The crowd boos loudly at this. Gas gives a mean stare and chases Rosa around the ring. He finally catches up to her and grabs her by the throat. Suddenly, he’s hit with a low blow by HBH. HBH then capitalizes with a DDT. HBH then rolls him and Rosa out of the ring and grabs a sledgehammer from under the apron. He slides back into the ring and hits Gas in the mid-section with the sledgehammer. Then he hits Gas over the head with it. Next he places Gas on the table and hits a few punches. By this point Gas’s face is bleeding. HBH climbs the ropes and connects with an elbow drop, sending Gas through a table. The crowd lets out a collective “OHHHH!” HBH climbs back to his feet, rolls out of the ring, and grabs another table from under the apron. Rosa helps him slide it into the ring and set it up in the corner. HBH takes Gas and places him on top of it, landing some punches. He steps back to go for some Sweet Chin Muzak and mouths off “I got this one in the bag!” However, Gas moves out of the way at the last minute. Gas then spears HBH through the table! The crowd goes nuts and chants “GAS-O-LINE! GAS-O-LINE!”
Gas uses the ropes to get back to his feet. He picks up HBH and hits a pumphandle slam. HBH rolls out of the ring. Rosa hands him a chair. Gas gets to his feet and grabs HBH, who then hits Gas with the chair. HBH gets back in the ring and waits for Gas to get up. He takes a swing, but Gas knocks the chair into his face with a big boot. Gas then grabs the chair and whacks HBH over the head with it, busting him open. He repeatedly hits HBH across the back with the chair. Gas rolls out of the ring and grabs yet another table and slides it into the ring. He sets it up and then sets up HBH for the Jackknife Powerbomb again. But then Rosa hits Gas across the back with a chair. Gas looks at her and says “You b****!” Gas runs her out of the ring. HBH climbs back to his feet and clotheslines himself and Gas over the top rope. HBH stomps him a few times and gets him back on his feet. He tries to bang Gas’s head on the apron, but Gas blocks it and bangs HBH’s head on the apron. He then rams HBH into the side of the ring a few times. Gas rolls HBH into the and starts to go back in, but Rosa again distracts him. HBH then grabs Gas by the head and brings him onto the apron. He attempts to suplex Gas, but Gas blocks it and knocks him down with a punch. Gas now tries to get back in the ring, but Rosa grabs his left leg. Gas tries to shake her off and eventually does. But Rosa goes right back and hits Gas with a low blow. HBH takes advantage and hits Gas with Sweet Chin Muzak, sending him off the apron and through the table that was set up outside. The bell rings.
RA: Here is your winner, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*After the match, Rosa gets in the ring to celebrate with HBH. They do some posing in the ring with the crowd booing and heckling them. They start to leave, but then HBH gets in Gas’s face and talks trash. Suddenly Gas grabs HBH by the throat. The crowd pops huge. Gas picks HBH up and throws him into the ring. He goes berserk, pummeling HBH in the corner and then running at him with a knee to the head. Rosa jumps on Gas’s back to try and choke him out, but Gas throws her off. He the grabs her by the throat and gives her a chokeslam! Next he turns his attention back to HBH. He motions that he’s going to put him through a table as the crowd cheers. Gas sets up for the Jackknife Powerbomb and sends HBH crashing down through the table in the ring! He raises his fist and lets out a yell. The crowd chants “GAS-O-LINE! GAS-O-LINE!” Gas exits the ring and gives some of the troops at ringside high fives. He turns around as his bloodied face looks back at HBH and Rosa still lying on the mat and the wreckage he caused in the ring*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:38:27 GMT -5
* We cut backstage as Toom E Dangerously is talking with the returning David Adams.*
TED: First off, let me welcome you back to the EWT. I have really been looking forward to your match tonight against dorf but I am afraid I have bad news.
DA: What’s that?
TED: dorf missed the flight to Iraq. He won’t be here tonight. In fact, he & Diva-dorf seemed to be AWOL from EWT. I haven’t seen them in days. And that does NOT play well with me. So, I have decided to give you the night off…with dorf’s pay as well as your pay. Which means, sit back, relax, enjoy the show…because you are making double, my friend.
* Camera cuts back to ringside.*
Announcer: The following contest is a EWT Rule Toolshed Division Rule IRONMAN Match! The rules are as follows. The match will go on without Pinfalls or Submissions counting for exactly 30 MINUTES! Afterwards, the two competitors will be allowed pins or submissions! The match MUST continue for at least 30 Minutes... no matter what!!!
Poor and Weird starts up and the troops go nuts with booing. Ultimo Walks out with a microphone.
Announcer: Introducing first, from Portland Oregon, weighing in at 240 pounds, The Current EWT Toolshed Champion, Ultimo Chocula!!!
Ultimo: "Ten hut, jerks!"
Troops: Boooooooooooooooo!!!
Ultimo: "Don't you mean Booo-rah? Whatever. I want every one of you to pay close attention tonight, cuz I'm going to show you how a real patriot takes care of bid-ness! So sit back, snack on a couple of those packs of C rations you seem to love so much, and take notes! I'm going to turn that lumpy drunk Pow into hummus!"
Ultimo drops the microphone and walks out towards the ring, sliding inside.
Suddenly Let The Bodies Hit the Floor starts up and Paul walks out to the ring, huge bag full of toys slung over his shoulders. The crowd pops massively as Paul drops the bag and salutes, then looks at Chocula and shakes his head slowly.
Announcer: And from Birmingham Alabama, weighing in at 312 pounds, Paul Podanski!!!
Paul grabs his bag and charges forward, only to get cut off at the pass with a Cannonball Run! He goes down hard, dropping his weapon sack and landing flat on his back. Ultimo grins wide and goes for a pin. But the referee just stares at him and shakes his head. Ultimo looks up and smacks his own, just remembering the rules. A small clock appears at the bottom of the screen, starting to count down from 30:00.
Chocula picks up Paul and starts hitting some stiff chops on him, Paul groaning, still a bit dazed as the two slowly fight their way up the ramp, soon they start to head to the EWT Backstage area, where lots of various EWT wrestlers can be seen, watching the ensuing match.
Chocula continues with the shops, but soon Paul manages to counter, catching one and retaliating with some nice stiff punches right back to Chocula. Chocula groans and they both continue brawling, until they reach the women's restrooms. Paul grabs Ultimo's head and rams it hard into the wooden door, causing it to bounce off. He groans, then gets grabbed once again, for another slam! Paul grabs him one more time and bangs his melon so hard, it makes a hole in the door!
Ultimo peeks inside, where you can see Nicole Bass, who eyes Ultimo and gives him a big boot, knocking him loose and to the ground next to Paul. Podanski smirks and picks Ultimo up, taking him by the throat and slamming him right into a water fountain! Ultimo groans, as Paul gives him a little drink by spraying water all over his dazed head. Ultimo groans a bit more, gargling a bit for no real reason, then gets lifted up and smacks Paul right in his face with his fist.
Paul grunts and leans back a bit, Ultimo rushing forward and nailing a running STO right on Paul! His head bounces off the hard floor as he goes down. Ultimo grins and stomps away at the neck of Podanski, who lies there groaning an rolling around in pain. Ultimo quickly lifts him to his feet and starts punching him some more... soon the two starting to fight right out of the EWT building and right into the desert. Paul groans as Ultimo grabs his head and shoves it right into the sand, stomping at it a few times. The clock has gone down to 25:00
Paul looks up with a sour look on his face, spitting out sand. Ultimo laughs mockingly and leaps up with a double stomp right onto Paul's neck, causing him to groan even more, gripping it again and trying to protect himself. He doesn't want another nearly broken neck.. or worse!
Ultimo lifts him up once again and whips him right into a conviently parked Jeep, Paul countering though and sending Chocula stumbling forward, flopping right into the seat of the jeep! Paul walks over and hops into the jeep as well, grabbing Ultimo's head and slamming it right into the jeep horn, making some rather loud jeep horn noises and making Ultimo's head even sorer. He eventually nails an elbow and lifts Paul up, lifting him up for a suplex right out of the jeep and back onto the sand!!!
Paul goes down hard, head bouncing right off the ground, as he groans a bit more, slowly trying to rise up, but Ultimo not letting that happen, leaping off and nailing a leg drop... again to Paul's neck. He starts thrashing about in pain that obviously didn't feel good. Ultimo smirks and picks Paul back up, tossing him right onto the front of the jeep's hood and smacking him a few times. He grins and climbs up onto the front seat of the jeep and leaps off with a crazy lookin double moonsault right to where Paul is...
Paul rolls off and Ultimo gets a face full of vehicle! He groans and rolls off as well, with a face full of sand. Paul slowly gets to his feet as well, lifting Ultimo up and hoisting him up for an old favorite... the Appauler!!! He holds Ultimo up for a few seconds and then drops him on his back, right onto the jeep, causing to hood to pop up and the car alarm to go off. Paul drags Ultimo's writhing body off the hood and drags him back inside the building.
21:00
Paul reaches the Interviewer's Break room and drags Ultimo inside, whipping him into the refrigerator, causing him to bounce off hard! He grunts and falls on his back as Paul walks over and gives him a good stomping on, some random EWT employee watching. Paul keeps stomping, until Ultimo starts to rise up again, he goes for a clothesline suddenly and catches Paul off guard, sending him down to the floor this time. Ultimo reaches inside the fridge and pulls out a six pack of Diet Mountain Dew... a pretty weird drink choice. Ultimo then pops all six tops and starts giving Paul a Diet Mountain Dew shower, pouring it all over his body, making his clothes sticky and smelling of soda. Paul groans and sits up, only to get a toaster right to his skull from Chocula. He groans, falling back to the ground, now busted open as well.
Ultimo leaps up, toaster still in hand and nails a modified leg drop right to Paul's neck, using the toaster to make him hurt even more. Podanski grunts in agony, rolling around as Ultimo tosses the toaster away, looking for more weapons.
But Paul desperately rises to his feet and lifts Ultimo up for the Manhattan Drop!!! Ultimo grunts and starts bouncing up and down, holding his junk as Paul takes him down with a stiff lariat, sending him flipping and to the ground. He walks over, grabbing a full cup of hot chocolate. He forcefully opens his opponent’s mouth and pours it right down his throat. Too bad it's HOT chocolate, as Ultimo yelps and forcefully swallows, rubbing his now brunt tongue a bit. Paul hoists him up and carries him out of the break room
16:00
Paul takes Ultimo to the Men's Locker Room this time, dragging him inside and whipping him hard right into an conviently opened locker door. Ultimo just happens to get his head stuck inside this same locker. Podanski smirks, walking over and slamming the locker door over and over against the side of his opponent's skull, Ultimo grunting and trying to escape, but to no avail. Soon, out of desperation, Ultimo kicks Paul blindly, right in the berries!
Podanski groans and falls over, Ultimo sliding his head out and lifting Paul's own up and giving his a taste of his own medicine, slamming harder and harder until soon the locker door falls off completely! Paul groans in pain as Ultimo picks up the locker door, grips the handle, then slams it into Paul's face as he slides his head out, like a small metal boxing glove. This of course busts Paul open even further!
Paul holds his bleeding head in Pain as Ultimo continues to pummel him, but soon Paul ducks underneath one of his shots and nails a Big Boot, locker to hand to Ultimo's face! They both go down to the floor... both bleeding, both sore, both wanting that championship.
11:00
Soon, after a half minute or so, they both rise up slowly, then exit the locker room, soon fighting their way all the way back to the ring which is outside. The troops cheer as they see the two head back that way, Paul grabbing Ultimo and whipping him full speed, sending him back into the ring, as Paul slowly picks up his toy bag and heads to the ring as well. But before he can enter, Ultimo runs forward and nails the baseball slide, his foot pushing the bag right into Paul's face. He groans a bit more as Ultimo hops back out of the ring, then digs around Paul's bag, throwing out a stuffed Reindeer, a box of candy canes, a few breakable ornaments, a dreidal... for some reason, finally he finds a fire extinguisher!
He waits for Paul to rise up, then gives it a spray, covering Paul in confetti. Ultimo looks a bit confused, glancing at the label. It's a novelty fire extinguisher. You can verbally see Ultimo mouth the words " Ah Damn it!!! " He shrugs and bashes Paul in the head with the thing anyway, sending him down to the floor. He tosses the useless thing away and digs around for more toys, he finds a ceramic Santa Statue and smashes it right over Paul's head as he rises up again, sending it all over the ground in pieces, and Paul back down to the floor.
Ultimo grins and grabs Paul, rolling him back into the ring, then lifting him up and going for the Sugar Fix, but Paul counters, punching Ultimo's side and lifting him up for a brainbuster to the mat. The crowd pops and starts chanting " Podanski!!! Podanski!!! Podanski!!! "
5:00
Ultimo groans, slowly rising up, only to get some powerful fists to the face, sending reeling into the turnbuckle. Paul goes for the wind-up, then pitches out a punch at Ultimo and...
IT CONNECTS!!! It actually connects this time! Ultimo falls down against the turnbuckle, Paul smirking, then gives Ultimo a low blow kick for pay back, since he gave him one earlier. He then slides out of the ring... getting out his favorite weapons, the pool cue and the billiard balls. He lines them all up and starts smacking them expertly, watching them all bounce right off of Chocula, and his resulting yelps of pain as each one hits.
As soon as the last Pool ball is smacked, Paul hops back into the ring and waits for Ultimo to rise back up to his feet, then as soon as he does, gives him a pool stick smack right in the ribs!!! Ultimo hunches over, clutching his now sore stomach. He then gets one to the back, sending him down the mat. Paul backs up a bit, then runs forward, using it like a pole vault and dropping right on top of Chocula, causing him to hurt even more!
2:00
Ultimo groans and gets lifted to his feet, then lifted back up into the air as Paul goes for a suplex, but Ultimo drops down from behind and out of desperation, hits the Squid Face on Paul! He groans and falls hard to the mat, his head bouncing off, and then himself rolling over onto his stomach. Ultimo smirks then signals for the Earth Clutch, stomping around like a maniac, then climbing up to the top turnbuckle and leaping off, landing it and quickly going to lock it in.
Paul groans and yelps out in pain, struggling not to tap out as the clock gets closer and closer to the end of the thirty-minute no pin stipulation.
0:30
The crowd starts chanting again. " Podanski!!! Podanski!!! Podanski!!! " but Ultimo keeps the Camel clutch locked in, trying to get Paul to tap out just in time for the timer to go off. But Paul is just fighting it more and more... he can't break up the count in this kind of rule match Ultimo continues to apply more and more and even MORE pressure!!!
0:10
The crowd starts to countdown to the end... as Ultimo continues to keep the hold locked in, desperate for the victory.
9...8....7.....6.....5.....4......3.....2.......1......
Paul gets up and starts to lift Ultimo right onto his back!!! Chocula looks pretty much surprised and shocked as he keeps trying to keep the hold locked in, but Paul's determined not to submit. Soon, Paul grabs Ultimo from behind off his back and slams his forward, neck first to the mat!
Ultimo groans and bounces up a bit as Paul hoists him up and starts spinning! 1...2...3.....4...5....6...7...8...9...10!!! Then slams him down with a thunderous boom. He groans a bit, about to go for the cover, but instead, pointing to the turnbuckle!!!
Paul quickly walks over, hoisting himself up, but not going for the splash, no he's going for a MOONSAULT!!! The troops go nuts as Paul leaps off and somehow hits the picture perfect moonsault and slams right into Ultimo, into the cover.
1.....2......3!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner... and the NEW EWT Toolshed Champion, Paul Podanski!!!
Paul takes the title from the referee and holds it up for all to see, then looks down at Ultimo's nearly lifeless body... then looking back at the crowd. Podanski grabs his bag... wraps the belt around his neck and salutes the crowd again and heads backstage, with the belt he rightfully deserves.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:38:59 GMT -5
TONY CHIMEL: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is the 'Truth or Dare' match. If Linda Ragnal wins this match, Chrysta will not be allowed to wrestle in EWT ever again. However, if Chrysta wins, she will be allowed to tell Linda her secret.
*Just Close Your Eyes plays as the light turn blue and Linda makes her way to the ring.*
TONY: Making her way to the ring first, from Scranton, PA...she is the Ocean's Beauty, Linda RAGNAL!
*Senzafine plays as Linda slides into the ring. Chrysta enters, and stands at the top of the ToomiTron for a few seconds, Ms. White following from behind. Chrysta walks into the ring, and hands her fur coat to Ms. White, standing in her corner. The bell rings, and Linda charges at Chrysta. Chrysta gets back up, and Linda clotheslines her back down again. Chrysta gets up again, and Linda goes to clothesline her back down, Chrysta ducks under the clothesline. Linda bounces off the opposite ropes, and goes to cross body Chrysta, but Chrysta grabs her, and hits a sidewalk slam on Linda. Chrysta gets up, bounces off the ropes, and lands a leg drop on Linda. Chrysta goes to pin Linda.*
1!2!
*Linda gets a shoulder up. Chrysta picks Linda up and whips her into a corner. Chrysta charges at her and clotheslines Linda while she’s still in the corner. Linda walks out of the corner, grabbing her chest in pain as Chrysta climbs the turnbuckle. Linda regains her breathe and turns around, only to be met by a flying clothesline from Chrysta. Chrysta goes and pins Linda.*
1!2!
*Linda kicks out. Chrysta picks Linda up again, and whips her into the ropes, and bands down to ready for a back drop, but Linda stops after bouncing off the ropes right at Chrysta, and kicks her in the face. Chrysta staggers backwards, and Linda runs at her and delivers a spinning heel kick to Chrysta. Linda runs to the ropes, jumps off the second rope, and connects a Lionsault on Chrysta. She stays on top for the pin.*
1!2!
*Chrysta gets a shoulder up. Linda grabs Chrysta by the hair and picks her up, kneeing her in the gut twice. Linda picks her up for a vertical suplex, but Chrysta slides behind Linda and hits a protobomb on Linda. Chrysta drops a few elbows on Linda, and then picks Linda up and into a headlock. The crowd chants for Linda to break the hold, and Linda slowly elbows Chrysta a few times until she finally breaks the headlock. Linda runs to the ropes, bounces off them, and lands a running cross body onto Chrysta. They land down to the ground, Linda on Chrysta, but they tumble further and Chrysta lands on top of Linda for the pin and hooks the leg.*
1!2!
*Linda kicks out. Chrysta kicks at Linda’s stomach a few times, runs and bounces off the ropes, hoping to land a legdrop, but Linda rolls out of the way, and Chrysta hits the canvas. Linda gets herself up, bounces off the ropes, and hits an Enziguri on Chrysta as she gets onto her knees. Linda pins Chrysta.*
1!2!
*Chrysta kicks out. Linda grabs Chrysta’s legs looking for a Boston Crab, but Chrysta kicks at Linda before she can put the move in. Linda staggers back, and Chrysta quickly gets to her feet, runs at Linda, and hits a tornado DDT. Chrysta pins Linda.*
1!2!
*Linda kicks out. Chrysta chokes her neck, and lets go before the ref can count to five. Chrysta goes down and chokes Linda again, and lets go before the ref can count to five. The ref warns her not to do it again. Chrysta picks Linda up, and drags her over to a turnbuckle, and slams her head into the top turnbuckle several times. Chrysta finally tosses Linda into the corner, backs up into the center of the ring, and spears Linda in the gut. Linda falls out of the corner, grabbing onto her stomach where Chrysta speared her. Chrysta kicks at Linda’s legs, and lands another elbow drop on Linda. Chrysta covers Linda to pin.*
1!2!
*Linda kicks out. Chrysta finally signals for the end ala Undertaker and weakly climbs to the top rope. She goes for the Falling Icicle, but Linda gets her legs up, countering the move. Both women are now down on the ground. The ref begins to make the count.*
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
*Both women are to their feet. They grab each other’s hair and trade punches back and forth until Linda punches Chrysta further to a corner. Linda climbs to the second rope and punches Chrysta in the face. The crowd counts along.*
1!2!3!4!5!6!7!8!9!10!
Linda gets off the ropes, And Chrysta plops down to the ground, and turns onto her back. Linda picks her up and delivers a Hurri-Chokeslam to Chrysta. Linda turns to the audience and yells to them “You will NOT have to put up with her! EVER!” She turns around to Chrysta and sees that she is SITTING BACK UP! Linda looks at her in shock as she gets herself back up to her feet. Linda runs at her, looking to clothesline, but Chrysta ducks under, and puts Linda into the Frostbite! Linda struggles to go for the ropes, but just as she’s within an inch of grabbing it, Chrysta kicks at Linda’s knee, knocking her to the ground. Linda tries to break out of the hold, but it works to no avail. Finally, after a minute or so of struggle, Linda finally stops struggling, and looks unconscious.
The ref raises her hand once.
…
Nothing.
The ref raises it again.
…
Still nothing.
The ref raises it one last time.
…
…
…Nothing…
With no other choice, the ref signals for the bell, and it becomes clear to the audience who won as they boo Chrysta with much anger.*
*After the bell rings, Chrysta's hand is raised in victory. The other Ragnals run out to help Linda up. As they ask if she's alright, they can see tears running down her cheeks. Chrysta then goes out of the ring and grabs a microphone.*
CHRYSTA: Well, well, dear Linda...so now I guess the cat is finally out of the bag. How does it feel to know that you lost to me....your SISTER!
*Mike and Joe look at Chrysta in shock, as Linda gets on her knees and cries.*
CHRYSTA: That's right, boys. Your sister was born from MY mother! Not yours! And now Linda, our little secret is out, and there's nothing you can do about it! And if you think I've made your lives hell, think again. Because really soon, HELL! Will FREEZE! OVER!
*With that, Chrysta drops the mic and leaves the ring. Mike and Joe yell to Chrysta while still in the ring, mouthing anger at her. As Linda stops crying, she looks up in anger at Chrysta as she looks back with a smile before going behind the curtain.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:39:29 GMT -5
* We cut backstage as Mystery is kneeling in a corner. As she’s rocking back & forth, somebody trips over Mystery’s foot.*
oceanic: HEY!!! Why don’t you watch where you put those things. I could have broken my neck.
Mystery:…..
Oceanic: Look, I am talking to you Mystery. Why don’t you watch your feet next time?
Mystery: Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? You must be talking to me cause I’m the only one here.
Oceanic: Oh, for crying out loud. You know, just because you were part of the match that won Best Match at the Scammy Awards doesn’t make you some big girl around here. You weaseled your way into a match that you had no business being a part of. And yet, you manage to get a second straight pay per view match while the real talent is visiting the troops. I bet you haven’t even spoken to one member of the military.
* Mystery gets to her feet.*
Mystery: You think you know me You are lost And scared You know what I allow you to know You know, you know, you know, you know what I allow you to know (you don't know) You're just a puppet You think you know me
* oceanic gets a strange look on her face & mumbles:*
oceanic: Why must they allow freaks into the EWT?
* oceanic starts walking away as Mystery attacks her from behind with an elbow. The 2 women start throwing punches as security runs in to break them up. Just then, Toom E Dangerously rushes in as well.*
TED: You ladies got a problem? FINE!!! Both you ladies want to fight so badly, then you both don’t get the night off anymore. Since Diva-dorf missed the flight, you take her place tonight oceanic against Mystery in the ring.
* Dangerously walks away as Mystery & oceanic just look at each other in disgust. Oceanic walks away as Mystery gets a big smile on her face & sings:*
Mystery: 1,2 Mystery’s coming for you 3,4 better lock the door 5,6 get those broken bones fixed 7,8 better stay up late 9,10 Mystery’s gonna hurt again
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:42:06 GMT -5
We return to ringside as Lillian Garcia has the microphone, the baking desert heat beats down on her and the fans.
LILLIAN GARCIA: The following match is the .. ‘Hell in a Cell’ … for the EWT Tri-State Championship!! …
The troops roar with approval as the Cell is lowered by an Army crane. As the cell is lowered and attached we catch up with some of the troops thoughts on who might win this match with special interviewer ... from ‘Back to the Future’ fame .. Dr. Emmet Brown .. we pan across to him standing next to some of the fans in the sandy wilderness of the arena floor, he is wearing a radiation suit
DOC BROWN: Great Scott!!, this could be a true timeless classic, but what are your thoughts?
the Doc shoves the mike into a bunch of the troops
FAN 1#: Its gotta be Maelstrom, he’s tough and hardened to every condition just like us! .. Right guys?
General cheer from the troops
FAN 2#: Yeah Maelstrom is gonna drown that Chance guy, he won’t be confident no more…
FAN 3#: No way, you guys have it all wrong. Chance is gonna get the victory he’s got the skills and the manpower.
FAN 1#: You take that back son, Maelstrom’s the only true champion in this match up!
A bit of ruckus breaks out between some of the troops as Doc Brown takes back the mike. The Cell is now surrounding the ring
DOC BROWN: Well by my calculations, when that music hits in about 30 seconds …
Dramatic Pause
DOC BROWN: We’re going to see some serious poopy!
On that ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ starts up and out walks Chance Confidence, as Lillian takes a deep breath before speaking
LILLIAN GARCIA: Firstly .. he is the EWT Tri-State Champion, he is accompanied to the ring by Principal Pain and the Canceler … he weighs in at around 240 pounds .. he is … CHANCE CONFIDENCE!!
Chance wanders around the cell staring up at its ominous steel walls, a couple of Troops heckle him, but the imposing presence of the Canceler soon shuts them up … Chance eventually enters the cell and the ring. He hands the title to the Referee and then taunts the crowd from the second rope … as he does this a cloud of blue smoke rises from the far corner of the ring .. the smoke is too thick to see through …
LILLIAN GARCIA: .. his opponent from the depths of the Aquarium! .. he is … MAELSTROM!
Some fireworks go off from the smokey turnbuckle as ‘Apocalypse Please’ blares from the speakers… the smoke then suddenly rises and there is MAELSTROM! … he’s already in the ring and the P.T.A don’t even know it .. they are too busy heckling the troops on the other side of the ring by the ramp way … Maelstrom crunches his knuckles as the crowd begins to chant Maelstrom .. he walks up behind the Canceler … Maelstrom spins him around and clotheslines him over the top rope to the outside … Pain and Chance quickly realizing that Maelstrom is here attempt to double team but Maelstrom shrugs the pair off .. Chance ducks out of the ring and heads toward the other side of the ring and begins to look for something under the apron. Meanwhile Pain continues to attack Maelstrom, until Maelstrom is leaning against the ropes .. Pain backs off and then comes charging with an attempt at a shoulder block, but Maelstrom ducks sending Pain to the floor … a huge ‘Maelstrom chant starts up again and the match hasn’t even started! .. Officials come out and force Pain and Canceler to go the back …Maelstrom watches them go … the officials then lock the Cell door.
Bell Rings
Chance is back inside the ring, he’s got a chair already! .. but Maelstrom turns in time to see the attack and dodges the swing, he then swats the chair out of Chance’s hands and sends it spinning to the outside sandy floor. Maelstrom points at Chance telling him there’s nowhere to go! … Chance deciding attack is the best defense rushes the big man, but gets a boot to the face for his trouble. Knocked loopy by the kick Chance staggers around the ring …Maelstrom grabs Chance and lifts him up for a suplex, Chance’s legs nearly hitting the roof of the cell. However Chance reverses it and slips out of the hold and bounces of the ropes with a running forearm followed by a few shorter forearm blows. Maelstrom reels slightly, Chance tries to Irish Whip Maelstrom but gets reversed, he dodges Maelstrom’s clothesline on the return and comes back off the ropes with a cross body … but no! .. Maelstrom caught Chance! Sidewalk Slam to Chance! .. Maelstrom follow this up with a big leg drop and goes for a cover ..
1,2 …
Chance kicks out and tires to beg off Maelstrom … Maelstrom shakes his head as Chance on his knees backs off his hands up in true ‘Ric Flair’ style … Maelstrom is having none of it and grabs Chance by the hair … Low Blow by Chance … Maelstrom stumbles back but doesn’t go down .. Chance follows with a Dropkick, which knocks Maelstrom into the ropes .. Chance turns to the crowd with a rude gesture, before turning and giving Maelstrom a sharp Superkick to the chin sending him over the top rope. Maelstrom however lands on his feet. Chance to busy congratulating himself fails to notice until he gets grabbed by Maelstrom and dragged to the floor outside the ring! .. Maelstrom takes Chance’s head and rubs it across the wire mesh …
A nice ‘oooooh’ sound comes from the troops
After some more cheese grater action involving human flesh, Maelstrom takes Chance’s now bloody face and flings him head first into the side of the cell. Chance bounces off like a rag doll. Maelstrom follows this with a bodyslam. Chance is in trouble as Maelstrom prepares to fling him into the cell wall again … but wait Chance is holding onto the cell … Chance is climbing the inside of the cell wall! … Maelstrom tries to grab him, but gets a foot to the face … he steps back as Chance lets out a loud roar … Moonsault from the side of the cell!! .. both men go down …Chance crawls towards the cell door but it is firmly locked, Chance’s frustration is growing but seeing the chair he picks it up, and then staggers back to the downed Maelstrom. A resound crack is heard as Chance busts Maelstrom wide open with a vicious chair shot! … Chance not wasting time, but certainly losing blood tries to roll Maelstrom into the ring … after much effort he goes for the cover …
1,2,3 …
Maelstrom kicks out … Chance can’t believe it, he goes to complain to the referee … Maelstrom begins to stir as the crowd chants his name … Chance eventually goes to the top rope … he signals for the Confidence Breaker! … he leaps, but misses as Maelstrom rolls out of the way at the last minute … the ref begins a ten count …
1,2,3,4,5,6,7 …
At the eighth count both men are just about up … Chance is the quicker and catches Maelstrom with a swift knee to the head, he then bounces off the ropes to go for a hurricanarama … but Maelstrom caught him! .. Whirlpool!! …
1,2,3 ….
Chance kicks out! … Maelstrom rolls to the ropes in disbelief .. He gets up and goes back to Chance who gives him a poke in the eye. Chance springs up and using the ropes again goes to use some sort of flying forearm … but Maelstrom isn’t as beaten as Chance thinks and he catches him in a gorilla press type position and then throws him like a dart at the cell door! .. The Door crashes open upon impact and Chance rolls outside of the cell!
A ‘HolyS***! chant starts up from the crowd
Maelstrom gets up and then follows Chance out of the cell boundary, he soon reaches him and they begin to trade blows outside the cell … Maelstrom begins to get the upper hand with a knockdown punch on Chance who is now bleeding very badly, followed by a harsh looking rib-breaker ...
A large ‘Booing’ starts up, the reason for this is Principal Pain and the Canceler have returned and start to attack Maelstrom
The two P.T.A members lay a beating on Maelstrom knocking him to his knees, they then pick him up and put his head between Canceller’s legs .. Chance is now standing again and begins to grin at what he is about to see … Canceler impressively lifts Maelstrom up for a vast Powerbomb, whilst Pain grabs a kendo stick from under the ring … but wait Maelstrom is fighting it with a some headbutts .. the unorthodox attack clearly puts off Canceler who can’t stop Maelstrom putting him in a headlock and then driving Canceler down with a hard DDT! … Chance panics at the sight of the over 500lbs man being taken out and begins to climb the cell! … Maelstrom gets back up to find Pain waiting to hit him with a Kendo Stick, Pain lashes out but Maelstrom just ignores the pain of the shot and clobbers Pain with a sledgehammer of a blow. Maelstrom turns to see Chance is already at the top of the cell …
The crowd firmly behind Maelstrom once again, he begins to climb after Chance
Chance backs off from the side of the roof as Maelstrom reaches the top, Maelstrom is now on the roof too, his weight making the wire rooftop sag a little, as blood drips down from his matted hair .. Maelstrom stalks Chance to the center of the roof. Chance throws a punch but Maelstrom blocks the blow and grabs him by the throat … the crowd sensing a potential ‘Mick Foley’ moment gets to its feet. Suddenly two ropes drop form the crane and the two black ninjas that helped Chance originally are here again … they slide down the ropes and lay into Maelstrom with some savage sidekicks. Maelstrom relinquishes his hold on Chance. Chance backs off and tries to regain his composure as karate kick after kick bashes Maelstrom. However Maelstrom is having none of it and cracks the two ninja’s skulls together. Maelstrom having stunned the two Ninjas goes back after Chance who backs off to the side of the cell roof. The Ninjas come back … but Maelstrom has them scouted and nails one with a boot and then grabs the other by the neck … OH MY GOD!! .. Maelstrom has just thrown one of the Ninjas of the side of the cell and onto the Japanese announce table! …
The crowd is on its feet and another chant of ‘HolyS***!’ starts up
Maelstrom turns back to Chance and smacks him across the cell roof with a hard punch. The other Ninja is back up and attacks Maelstrom from behind and attempts to back drop him … Maelstrom blocks the move and rotates it into a suplex! .. The cage roof sags a little on impact … Maelstrom signals to the crowd grabs the Ninja by the throat … CHOKESLAM! … Through the roof!! .. the Ninja is down and out in the ring as officials, Principal Pain and the Canceler go to check on him. Maelstrom looks down at the carnage and grins. Chance is back up though and rushes Maelstrom nailing a neckbreaker! … Chance gets Maelstrom back to his feet, right by the hole in the roof … Chance mockingly waves at Maelstrom .. Dropkick! .. OH NO!! .. Maelstrom falls back through the hole in the roof, and lands on top of the officials, Canceler and Pain. Maelstrom writhes in agony on the ring floor while Chance raises his hands in victory on top of the cage.
A combined ‘HolyS***’ and ‘Chance sucks’ chant can be heard
Chance seeing his chance looks down at the defeated Maelstrom .. Chance’s arrogance at an all time high .. he signals to the crowd .. and then not waiting for their response he leaps off the cell roof with a 450-degree splash! … GOOD GOD!! … Maelstrom raised his size 16 foot and caught Chance on the jaw after the second revolution! … Chance is out cold ..along with just about everyone else in the ring … Maelstrom manages to roll over and place an arm on Chance …
1,2,3.
Bell Rings
LILLIAN GARCIA: The winner of this match … and … A new EWT Tri-State Champion … MAELSTROM!!
’Apocalypse Please’ plays out around the arena, the crowd are on the feet giving a standing ovation to both men for this epic encounter. Maelstrom after some effort gets to his feet, clearly limping he takes the tile and holds it above his bloody head … as the crowd roars ..He then slowly heads to he back …After some time Chance is helped to his feet by Canceler and concerned officials … using there arms to support him they head to the back as well .. Chance is a bloody mess … but still despite his arrogance and attitude he also gets a standing ovation!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:42:43 GMT -5
We are backstage with Mean Gene awaiting Flex Magnificent & “The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier.
Mean Gene Okerlund: Ladies & Gentlemen, it’s been much speculated about in the back & we’re coming to it soon...The Lord Mount-Evans Rules Match. A lot of EWT fans that enjoy the traditional style of wrestling will find this to be a treat, but maybe not the case for my next guest.
*Flex Magnificent & Dr. Delavier enter the picture as Mean Gene continues on.
MG: Gentlemen tonight you may have it in over your head because tonight you will be facing Spaz for the EWT OX Division title in a Lord Mount-Evans Rules match. A match that requires actual skill & prowess in the sport of professional wrestling.
Flex Magnificent: Listen politely Mean Gene. I will be brief because dis match is very impordant do my career und I yam in de zone und I must stay in de zone do compete at my peak magkneeficence. But Spaz....You dought dat you could swerve me with your measely Lord of de Mountain match. Well guess wut....I doo huv a trick or dwo up my sleeve und I was allowed do pick my very own special referee fo dis match as you huv chosen de rules. Und Spaz....Be prepared because like de best German sausage....Wit de best....COMES DE WURST!!!
*Flex & Delavier exit as Mean Gene is surprised by those comments.
MG: Guys let’s take it back to you!
The troops are still reeling from that last match & are ready for some more action. We can hear “Party Starter”’s sound waves reverberating through the air as Spaz makes his way through the curtain with the OX Division title glimmering in the sun & Baggy procured on his hand.. As he makes his way down the aisle he speaks inaudibly to the camera while pointing to Baggy & putting it into the camera. As he continues on we can hear the voices of Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse “The Body” Ventura taking control of what is about to commence.
Gorilla Monsoon: Here he comes the OX Division Champion, Spaz. I must say Jess Spaz looks in prime form for this combat.
Jesse “The Body” Ventura: As he should be, Monsoon. He is going into a title defense against not just a man, not just a superman, but also a GENETIC SUPERMAN! And he better have that belt shined up nice & neat & get all that dry Iraq sand from out all of the nooks & crannies because I am sure when he straps that belt around Flex Magnificent’s waist as his magnificence has predicted he will make sure it is to his liking or else Spaz will end up on the shelf collecting dust just like Psycho Ape Guy.
Spaz finally makes it to ringside after putting as much attention as he can to passing soldiers. He rolls inside & climbs the second turnbuckle posing for the crowd. It is much appreciated as Spaz awaits his opponent.
JV: Here he comes. Your NEXT EWT OX Division Champion, Monsoon, FLEX MAGNIFICENT!!!
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:43:18 GMT -5
Flex’s full choir makes it out to the entrance as they begin the opening bars to “Hallelujah!” As soon as they begin to kick in six Flexettes come out each holding a Scammy award in their hands. One girl for each Scammy Flex has won throughout his short career here in the EWT. After all six have filed out they each part to the side as Flex Magnificent & “The Doctor of Muscletology” Dr. Frederick Delavier walk & roll out of the entrance curtain. Flex admires the crowd as he stops & does a pose down featuring his signature pose (One bicep flexing while the other hand presents it & the same for the other arm & hand). As Flex finishes up the girls beginning walking in front of him as he & Delavier make their way down the aisle.
As they approach the ring each girl makes their way inside & all one by one walk in front of Spaz ,who is now Baggy-less, showing off Flex’s latest achievements. Spaz has a rather aggressive look on his face as each girl walks by. Once they have all made their rounds Flex confronts Spaz face-to-face & begins to make the belt around the waist motion with his hands all the while nodding his head yes. In response Spaz looks grimly at Flex shaking his head “No” while pointing to where the belt is presently....around HIS waist. Each man gets settled before the match. Flex calmly takes off their entrance attire & unstraps his belt. Currently there is no referee inside the ring to accept Spaz’s belt. Just both men in the ring staring down each other with the Fink now in center ring for the announcements.
The bell rings for the opening announcements.
Howard Finkel: This match is scheduled for one fall & IT IS FOR THE EWT OX DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!........It will be contested under Lord Mount-Evans Rules. There will be five 5-minute rounds under which will be 1-minute interludes between each round. The rules are simple. Points will be gained for each hold & reversal successfully secured which will be tallied by our panelist of judges. *The judges’ table is shown on camera but the judges themselves are all wearing camouflage gear & protective masks & helmets to shield them from the hot sun beaming down on them.* In case of a draw the judges will tally all of their decisions for each round where a winner will be determined. Amongst the holds not allowed are chokes, punches, kicks, as well as other brawling techniques. Use of the ropes & turnbuckles for attacking, running, or high-risk maneuvers are forbidden. THIS IS PURE WRESTLING AND MAY THE BEST ATHLETE WIN!...........And now the contestants......
First....accompanied by his creator, The Doctor of Muscletology .....DR. FREDERICK DELAVIER from Nuremberg, Germany. He comes in weighing in at 330 lbs. of pure magnificence with arms in length of 30 inches round, waist 38 , legs 24 & at a height of 6'7......He is the Genetic Superman.........The SIX time Scammy Award winning................FLEX..................MAAAAAAAAAAGNIIIIIIIIIIFICEEEEEEEEEEENT!!!!!
The crowd boos fervently at Flex who ignores their jeers & raises his hands in victory all the while keeping eye contact with Spaz who stands emotionless as Flex poses in front of him to add to his on-going mind games. Their standing face-to-face really shows the immense size difference of Flex & Spaz. Spaz looks almost like a midget compared to Flex.
The Fink: And his opponent........*the crowd roars in approval* HE is the CURRENT EWT OX DIVISION CHAMPION......From Sydney, Australia.....SPAAAAAAZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spaz erupts from his emotionless state & feeds off the energy from the people in the crowd while whipping off his OX Division Title & brandishing it in front of Flex Magnificent’s face as now Flex plays the role of the pissed off statue to Spaz. But the Fink interrupts this moment as he has another announcement.
The Fink: And now....The Special Guest referee for this match.......
There is a hush upon the crowd as they anticipate who could be the referee for this match.
All of a sudden......
The NWO THEME hits! IT’S EVIL NWO REFEREE NICK PATRICK WITH THE SKI MASK ON!!!!
The Fink: NIIIIIIIICK PAAAAAAATRIIIIIICK!!!!!
GM: What in the green hell!? This has got to be a joke. This match is suppose to be right down the middle & they have this joker the nWo’s Nick Patrick coming out to ref this match. Just look at him! He’s wearing that ridiculous ski mask in Iraq! I’d hate to tell ya Nick but you’re far away from the bunny slopes!
JV: How dare you say such hateful things about a long-standing veteran of the three count, Nick Patrick. This man has refed some of the greatest battles ever in the sport of the professional wrestling for instance the first WCW World Title match on RAW between Booker T & Buff Bagwell. A classic by anyone’s standards.
GM: Oh brother. Yeah, Nick Patrick as referee for this match is about as good as a hole in the head.
JV: Actually, that is not a bad idea. I think it would do you a world of good. Plus it would take attention away from that bald spot of yours.
GM: Would you please stop.
Spaz is very outraged by this decision, but sees that there is no one to complain about this to. So he ops to swallow it down & get on with his job.
Nick Patrick calls for the bell initiating Round 1. The 5-minute clock shows on the bottom right hand side of the screen as both men beginning circling around each other. Flex stops with a big smile on his face while Spaz yells out, “WELL GET ON WITH IT!”
Spaz initiates a collar & elbow tie-up, but Flex has some trouble & Spaz pulls off as Flex is fumbling around with it & can’t get himself locked in. Spaz backs away & gives Flex a funny look. Flex’s face looks a bit red as he gives a mighty yell as they both again try for a simple collar & elbow tie-up & once again Flex fumbles with the lock-up again as they once again break it up. Spaz has a rather perplexed look on his face & makes his way to a corner & calls for the mic. He gets one & begins to speak.
Spaz: Now I know I haven’t much time here, but I’m gonna say this....If you CAN’T even do a simple collar & elbow tie-up I seriously think you should reconsider being in THIS ring for THIS match....FLEX!
The troops begin cracking up as Spaz holds the mic up in the air for a good number of them to chant “HE CAN’T WRESTLE! *clap clap clap clap clap*
Flex is infuriated & charges at Spaz who drops the mic & hits Flex with a TEXTBOOK Ricky Steamboat arm drag. He connects letting Flex & himself soar in the air. Flex immediately gets back up & charges at Spaz once again. Spaz connects again & this time keeps it locked. The troops in attendance applauded Spaz for his great show of timing & presence.
Flex begins to sit up as surprisingly he REVERSES it into a Hammerlock. The troops “Oooooo” at this as Spaz has a shocked look on his face. But quickly smiles & reverses it into a Hammerlock of his own. Flex’s face which was a smile a moment ago chances to shock as Spaz has it synched in. Spaz then releases it & pushes Flex from behind to mock him as the troops begin to laugh and cheer at Flex’s embarrassing moment.
Nick Patrick goes to reprimand Spaz for the push as it is slightly bending the rules. He also distracts Spaz as Flex comes charging again. Spaz is once again aware & moves out of harm’s way & hits Flex with a hip toss & capitalizes with a knee to Flex’s spine & stretches out both of his arms. Flex screams out in pain as Nick Patrick reluctantly goes to check on him. The troops applaud as Spaz shakes his head “yes” as he then continues to apply pressure by ramming the knee a few times into the spine. Flex reacts to the assault while Spaz changes it up by putting his head to the spine of Flex Magnificent & laying him flat on his stomach. He flips over & synchs in the Cattle Mutilation.
He doesn’t keep it on long as Flex gets to his knees and gets himself & Spaz up. Spaz begins to let go of the hold as he loses his momentum. Seeing this Flex pushes him from behind & as a result both men get into each other’s faces. Nick Patrick surprisingly does his job & gets between both men & separates them.
Both men are now in the middle of the ring as we are winding down to almost less than a minute. Flex goes for a grab but Spaz ducks it & does a go around for a roll up. Nick Patrick drops down for a
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Flex goes to sit up, but Spaz connects with a Snap Mare & drops for a cover.
1!
2!
POWER KICKOUT.
Despite being pressed into mid air Spaz continues on the assault & hits a La Magistra Cradle for another 2 count. Flex kicks out & Spaz locks in a leg scissors to hold the big man down. Flex attempts to roll out of it as Spaz goes with the motion & as Flex goes to lift him up Spaz thwarts his attempts & swings the motion into a pin attempt with the leg scissors still applied & holding onto Flex’s legs. Patrick drops down for the count as the last few seconds of the round come to a close.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!!!
Flex & Spaz separate & stare down each other as the bell rings to signify the end of the first round. The troops in attendance all clap for a heck of a first round dominated by Spaz. Flex looks on & is shakes his head “No” & holds his head to his ears as the troops begin a “HE CAN’T WRESTLE” chant again. Both men go to their respective corners to cool down for a minute before the next round. With that the camera shifts to Jess & the Gorilla.
GM: Whoah! What a first round from Spaz. There is no doubt he’ll get the duke on that one from the judges. And if I may say so myself he really showed Flex Magnificent what it’s like to be in the ring with a professional wrestler in the truest sense of the word. But I will give credit where it is due...Flex Magnificent managed to pull off ONE counter this entire first 5 minutes.
JV: Do you expect me to swallow that crap, Monsoon. So what? The man pulled off a few good wrestling holds & a few good pins, but he didn’t get the job done. And it’s going to take a lot more than some fancy smancy rest holds to put down a man like Flex Magnificent! And right now Flex is playing mind games with Spaz...that botching of the collar & elbow & that one reversal is all mind games to throw off Spaz.
GM: Oh give me a break. Just look at the face of Flex Magnificent when the fans & Spaz personally called him out on that.
JV: He’s also a spectacular actor. I taught him all I know.
GM: Yeah, whatever. Anyway you are right on the money about one thing, Jess. It’s going to take a lot more submission holds in this contest to wear down the big man. And we are not experiencing the most pleasant of weathers as we are in the deserts experiencing record highs here. Yet another factor to help wear down your opponent.
JV: You’re right, Monsoon. These may be short rounds, but that sun will wear you down more than the best submission hold you can think of. But to combine a good submission such as a sleeper cutting off that air supply to the lungs while under that hot Iraqi sun will certainly take its toll on the best of the best.
GM: We’re just about ready for the next round so let’s go to the ring!
The bell rings as both men slowly walk towards one another as the clock starts back up at the 5-minute mark. They disperse from one another a bit but begin to walk towards one another. Spaz has a smile on his face & approaches Flex for another Collar & Elbow Tie-Up. This time Flex ducks & goes around with a Go Behind & waist locks Spaz & throws him down to the mat. He grabs Spaz’s arm in a wristlock & applies pressure to Spaz’s back by putting both his knees to Spaz’s neck. Spaz is now getting a taste of his own punishment & screams out in pain. Nick Patrick is getting antsy to ring the bell, but Spaz is putting in no effort to quit just yet.
Flex continues the punishment by wrenching on the arm. All of a sudden Dr. Delavier begins yelling at Nick Patrick. Patrick gets distracted & begins to walk over to Delavier to see what is the matter. As soon as his back is turned Flex lets go of the hold & stomps Spaz right on the back of his neck. The troops jeer very loudly at Flex’s cowardly act while he goes back to putting on the arm to the back of his head & knees to the neck. Patrick then turns around like nothing happened & checks with Spaz if he wants to submit. Spaz yells, “NO!” & the match continues.
GM: Oh though Nick Patrick OBVIOUSLY walked away from the match. I am sure the judges will take Mr. Magnificent’s action into consideration in the case of a draw!
Flex seeing that the hold isn’t that effective lets off & lifts up Spaz by the wrist. He begins show some sight of wrestling brain activity & wrenches the arm around & puts pressure on the Trapezius muscle with his free arm. With his immense strength he pulls Spaz closer to the mat & in doing so applies pressure now with his knee. As soon as Flex gets him close enough to the mat he lets go with his knee, measures him, & drops the knee hard into his Deltoid region. Spaz moans in pain as Flex goes for it again. He lets go of Spaz & begins to walk away to pose to the crowd to show off that he does know SOME wrestling.
As Flex continues to pose Spaz begins to get up. Seeing a window of opportunity he rushes behind Flex & pulls his legs from out underneath him & sets him up for a Sydney Clover Leaf. He has it locked & Flex is feeling the pain. But unfortunate for Spaz Flex uses those powerful calves of his & powers out of the move. Spaz flies to the middle of the ring as Flex begins to get up. Flex goes for him & Spaz trips him up by locking onto Flex’s ankle with his feet. Flex drops to the mat as Spaz quickly slaps on an STF. It’s applied & Spaz has got Flex in a good position, but Flex turns it around. Spaz still has it locked but his shoulders are down on the mat. Patricks counts...
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:44:11 GMT -5
1!
2!
KICKOUT
Spaz lets go & kicks out in time. The pin was close to ropes & the kick out leaves Flex in the ropes. Nick Patrick pushes Spaz away to let Flex get back to a vertical base & to avoid any kind of use of the ropes.
Flex is back up & looks furious he starts yelling at Spaz & begins to walk up to him. He goes for an illegal kick, but Spaz catches it. He shakes his finger & uses his leg to trip Flex down. He still has a hold of one leg & spins around for a Figure Four leg-lock as the seconds count down to the end of the 2nd round. Flex wrives in pain as the bell rings for the end of the round.
Nick Patrick separates both men. Spaz being the good sport he is let’s go immediately knowing he hasn’t won by submission yet still raises his arm in acceptance to the troops’ loyalty to him. Flex on the other hand holds onto his leg & slowly gets up & limps to his corner to relax in-between rounds. We now go to Gorilla & Jesse for some thoughts on the 2nd round.
GM: An incredible show by both men this time around. Once again I must go with Spaz, but I will contest that Flex Magnificent showed us he at least knows a couple more holds. Still in my opinion not enough to put down a wrestling dictionary like Spaz.
JV: I will admit Spaz has outsmarted the big man here & there, but Flex Magnificent will not let this stand for longer. As he saying goes “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” So far Spaz is up to shaming Flex twice & in my humble opinion as a broadcast journalist Spaz’s false ambitions will come crashing down in the third round.
GM: What from an illegal kick to the head or testicles?
JV: Are you insinuating that Flex Magnificent was trying to break the rules during this match.
GM: I’m not trying to insinuate because he did!
JV: We must’ve been watching two different matches because I saw Flex Magnificent teach Spaz a thing or two with WRESTLING HOLDS.
GM: If you say so....Anyway, it’s just about time for the 3rd round. Let’s go back to the ring for more action.
The bell rings for the third round. Both men make their way out of the corners as evil nWo referee Nick Patrick motions for both men to wrestle. Flex holds out his hand to motion for Spaz to stop. He indeed does as Flex motions with his hand now for a test of strength. Spaz looks a bit bewildered as Flex looks better endowed for such a test. But the fans cheer on Spaz who gets caught in the moment & tries his luck. His unsuccessful & is immediately feeling the effects of his decision. Flex applies the pressure by ramming his chest into Spaz’s. Spaz’s knees buckle & he begins to fall to his knees. Flex continues to apply more & more pressure as Spaz sinks lower & lower. Eventually Flex gets Spaz’s shoulders to the mat. Nick Patrick initiates the count.
1!
2!
Shoulder up!
Flex jumps up & drives his knees into Spaz’s stomach. Spaz Oooooo’s in pain as the count is back on.
1!
2!
SHOULDER UP!
Flex looks a bit worried & with the knuckles still locked leaps up to drop the knees again. This time Spaz gets his feet up & Monkey Flips Flex with their knuckles still locked. Spaz tries to kip up onto Flex for a pin & does so. Nick Patrick slowly goes down for the count. Kick out at 1 & the knuckles are still locked. Flex rolls back up & tries to press Spaz’s arms down for a pin, but Spaz puts his feet on Flex’s thighs & leaps back up. The knuckles are still locked, but Spaz motions out of it & goes for a Hurricanarama, but Flex turns it into a Power Bomb & throws Spaz down to the mat hard.
Spaz holds onto his head due to the impact as Flex catches Nick Patrick’s attention by pointing somewhere randomly. Patrick goes to check it out & seems to be acting like he really believes there is something. In the meantime Flex drops down & lifts Spaz’s head up by the hair & throws his head down to the mat rear first. While Patrick is still looking Flex is no dummy & surprisingly focuses on the back of Spaz & locks him in an Abdominal Stretch. But grabs onto the rope for added leverage. Nick Patrick turns around & sees Flex with the Stretch applied AND holding onto the rope, but quickly ignores it & asks Spaz if he is ready to call it quits. Spaz yells “No” & in doing so earns himself added pressure as Flex struts jiggling the ropes madly as Spaz screams in more & more pain.
Despite all the commotion with the ropes vibrating all over Nick Patrick’s gaze is not thwarted as he is sharply focused on Spaz’s facial expressions in case he murmurs an “I Quit!”
Flex continues with the pressure until Spaz begins to shake hard & with a lot of emotion. Nick Patrick adjusts his position as this could be it, but instead it’s the testosterone flowing through Spaz’s veins as he musters the strength to somehow flip over Flex Magnificent to reverse the hold. But with Patrick being up in Spaz’s grill he throws Flex directly onto Nick Patrick who is now knocked out from the 330 lb frame of Flex Magnificent collapsing onto Patrick’s back.
All three men lie on the floor sucking wind, but this time Flex Magnificent gets back up & immediately grabs for Spaz. He throws him shoulder first through the ropes into the ring post. Spaz feels the pain as Flex grabs him by the tights and lifts him up for The Body Breaker.
With evil nWo referee Nick Patrick’s untimely demise in this match Referee Lee sprints into the ring to see if Spaz will submit. The timer is coming to its closing seconds. The bell sounds to signify the end of round 3. Flex drops Spaz & begins jumping around & celebrating, but the referee is quick to throw down Flex’s arms to let him know that it’s just the end of the round. Flex gets a bit defensive & gets in Referee Lee’s face, but Lee lets him know that if he even dares to touch him that he’ll award the match to Spaz. Flex backs off & goes to his corner as Spaz sucks wind in his corner by sitting down on the mat. In the meantime we hear from Gorilla & Jesse.
JV: Hey Monsoon! Did you see it? He used my old move the Body Breaker. What an athlete.
GM: Are you kidding me? He & that no-good Nick Patrick pulled out every dirty trick in the book to get the win & it didn’t! If this match goes to a draw Flex Magnificent will have a tough time justifying to the judges why he should be the new OX Division Champion.
JV: Monsoon, as I said you must be watching a different match, because I am seeing a man who is technically sound & dancing circles around that ring like it’s nobody’s business. Monsoon, Flex Magnificent is so technically sound that he even could put a 10 star match against yourself & maybe even that hack Dorf. Just look at what he did to Limey. He made him look so good that he got a World Title shot out of it. And in my opinion he made him look too good!
GM: Whatever, Jess. In the meantime the rest period is just about coming to a close as both men have started to put on the pressure with that last round. And this hot Iraqi sun is being of no help in the matter. WHOAH FLEX MAGNIFICENT HAS JUST JUMPED THE GUN AS WE START OUR FOURTH ROUND!!!
Flex Magnificent indeed jumps the bell and grabs Spaz, who is still winded from the last round’s tole, by the arm pulling him off the mat & to his feet & actually delivers a Sloopy Snap Mare. The bell rings as Flex again surprises us with a Buffalo Sleeper complete with knee to the Vertebra Thoracica of Spaz. Spaz is really feeling the pain now & is struggling to hold on. Referee Lee checks on Spaz who appears to be going to sleep. He lifts up his arm...
1!
2!
IT’S UP!!!
Spaz keeps the arm up & is doing his best to motion his way out. Flex sees he could lose his momentum & locks in a Full Nelson. Spaz has a look of surprise as Flex lifts him up. With such a contrast in size between the two men Flex lifts him up off his feet & actually begins to swing Spaz around in circles. The crowd counts along.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7! 8!
Flex let’s go & ends up throwing Spaz out of the ring as he himself collapses from the dizziness. Spaz looks completely out as he took a nasty spill outside to the unforgiving ground. He doesn’t move & just lays there.
Since there are essentially no count outs Referee Lee himself goes to the outside & helps Spaz back in after spending at least 10 seconds outside on the floor. He literally pushes an exhausted Spaz back in. Flex being no dummy grabs Spaz by the hair & drags him in. He grabs Spaz by the arms when the referee begins looking & lifts him up on his shoulder again & this time delivers a running Shoulder Drop on the shoulder that was damaged earlier from the ring post. Spaz clutches it & writhes in pain.
Flex again capitalizes and grapevines the arm & applies pressure to that shoulder area again with his knee. Spaz is grabbing onto his hair in an attempt to not submit. Flex continues on & goes back to an earlier attack of his by stretching Spaz’s arm to the back of his head & continuously ramming his knee into the Trapezius of Spaz. Spaz bellows out in pain, but will not give up.
Since Spaz won’t give up Flex continues & begins to lift him up in mid air by that arm & literally walking around with it held in that position. Spaz is crying out incoherently. Flex lifts him up even higher & drops him down arm first. Spaz holds onto his arm & rolls around to safety by the ropes.
Referee Lee holds Flex back as Spaz attempts to use the ropes to get back up. Spaz slowly crawls back up the ropes, but Flex makes his way through the referee & once again puts Spaz’s arm behind his back in a Hammerlock position & moves him mid-ring & lifts him up for what could be an Atomic Drop, but instead it’s a Botched Back Drop dropping Spaz with his arm behind his back while Flex still stands. Flex absorbs none of the punishment & flexes as little as Spaz is on the floor trying to get back up. Flex finishes his poses & goes for a pin.
1!
2!
Spaz BARELY kicks out due to a semi-nonchalant cover by Flex with no hook of the leg.
The countdown is set for the remaining 20 seconds of the round as Flex takes Spaz by the arm & just throws him to the floor resulting Spaz taking a slight flight like a hip toss but he flips as a result of a wristlock & push combo leading him to slide across the mat like a Slip & Slide & fall side first into the ring post on the mat. Since Flex didn’t deliberately throw Spaz into the ropes Referee Lee doesn’t reprimand him.
The bell rings as the end of the round draws to a close. The camera again goes back to Grilla & The Body as Flex casually walks back to his corner while Spaz is in his corner as a result of Flex kinda of throwing/Spaz sliding on the mat to the post.
JV: Haha did you see that Monsoon? An entire round DOMINATED by Flex Magnificent without a single added leverage, interference, or cheat as you have been fragrantly throwing around. You know Monsoon if you were in court you’d be libelous for such false commentary!
GM: Well I can’t argue with that one, Jess. Flex Magnificent indeed do all that you just said, but I in fact still stand by my observations from earlier.
JV: Observations? Those Coke bottle glasses of yours that you have been wearing for years Monsoon has made you blind to what’s really been going on in the ring for many moons now. I couldn’t trust your judgment even if I liked you!
GM: Oh would you give me a break. I saw what I saw & I am standing by it.
JV: What are you Tweety Bird with that “I taw I taw a putty tat!” Monsoon, this is no time for your favorite cartoon show. This is the match of the century. We are seeing Maniflex Destiny unfold right before our eyes.
GM: Well we have one more round to go & frankly it seems Spaz already has this match won as he has already won the first three rounds!
JV: Are you kidding me? Since when did you become one of the judges for this match? I don’t see you sitting with the other three judges at ringside. What gives you the right?!
GM: Well I may not be a judge, but I know when I see a man has a blatant advantage over another. Speaking of which we are about ready to have our final round. Who will take home the gold! We’ll find out in 5 or less than 5 minutes folks. Let’s go back to the ring.
The bell rings as Flex is looking pretty good for withstanding this Iraqi heat but Spaz on the other hand is not looking too good after that last round. He’s standing up, but having a bit of trouble walking. He’s holding onto his ribs now as he begins to approach Flex Magnificent.
Delavier is cheering Flex on from his wheelchair while Flex begins to talk to Spaz who is now face-to-face with him. Spaz has a look of determination. Spaz is getting riled up, but goes for a punch. Flex moves out of the way & turns it into a Power Slam. He pins him down.
1!
2!
Kick out! Spaz gets some energy from the move & begins to roll away. Flex tries to keep up, but misses with some elbow drops. He continues until Spaz catches him after a missed elbow drop & locks in a Small Package. Flex reverses it.
1!
2!
Reversal!
1!
2!
Reversal!
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Flex gets up first & palms Spaz’s head. Spaz’s crawls underneath as Flex looks under. Spaz traps Flex by pulling his head underneath his legs & pins him.
1!
2!
Kick out!
Spaz continues the motion and hits Flex with a Flying Leg Scissor takedown. Flex hits the mat & rolls & gets back up. He heads toward Spaz who rolls him into a Small Package.
1!
2!
KICKOUT!
Flex jumps on Spaz’s back laying him flat on the mat. He crosses Spaz’s arms across his throat & yanks back for a variation of the Camel Clutch. Spaz looks as if he is about to give it in. Flex keeps it locked. Spaz is feeling that pain run through his body to the point of screaming to the top of his lungs. He’s shaking his head violently now with the pressure put on areas of his body that have been seriously worked on throughout especially last month’s injuries not fully healing.
Spaz’s body is shaking. He’s sweating profusely!
He.....
Somehow tucks in reversing Flex’s momentum knocking him out of the ring.
Flex gets back up & goes back into the ring. Spaz is walking on wobbly legs, but is gaining the power to comeback & again gets Flex into a small package upon entering the ring. Flex kicks out immediately.
They’re both up & Spaz is still on an adrenaline rush & hits a Swinging Neckbreaker on Flex. He covers him for a 2 count! Spaz is up picks up Flex & goes behind for his patented Triple Suplex.
He hits one! He hits two! He hits THREE! The crowd is going nuts. Spaz feels a bit ambitious & calls for a FOURTH ONE! He goes for it, but Flex is standing his ground. The more Spaz tries the more Flex doesn’t budge. Flex goes underneath & pulls one of Spaz’s legs out from under him & falls posterior first on Spaz’s chest. Referee Lee counts.
1!
2!
Shoulder up barely!
Both men are feeling very weary now from that hot sun beaming down on ‘em. Flex begins to stand on wobbly legs as the countdown is starting to come down. Spaz seeing his moment of opportunity gets up & jumps from behind Flex Magnificent hooking his legs underneath his armpits & rolling him for a pin. He’s sitting down on Flex nice & tight......
1!
2!
POWER KICKOUT! SPAZ FLIES HEADFIRST INTO THE POST AND FALLS BACK FIRST IN A THUD!!!
Flex locks on the Flex Capacitor to full power! After a few seconds the bell begins to ring.
Flex is elated & lifts Spaz up & throws him right over the top rope onto the floor. The crowd is booing immensely as Flex celebrates in the ring. The referee is now speaking with Howard Finkel at the timekeeper’s table. Flex interrupts their conversation & grabs the OX Division Title & secures it around his waist. While parading around in the ring with his new belt. After talking a bit with The Fink Referee Lee & Fink enter the ring while Flex Magnificent is on the second turnbuckle taunting the troops. Spaz is up on his feet now & is conscious of what he sees in the ring. The Fink begins to speak.
The Fink: Ladies & Gentlemen....
WE HAVE A TIE!!!
The audience begins booing as Flex is none too happy about what he has just heard. He confronts the referee who assures him there will be a definite winner. The referee retrieves the belt & hands it to the Fink. He beckons both men to get into the ring for a decision of an official winner based on judges’ rule.
Spaz slowly makes it back into the ring & regains his senses & makes it over to Ref Lee. The referee orders both men to be at each of his side. Each man complies & he begins to hold each man’s hand as the Fink begins to speak.
The Fink: As was agreed upon by both men the decision in case of a draw would be selected by a panel of 3 judges reselected by EWT officials prior to the event. One by one we will find out the judges’ decision for each round. The man with the most votes will be the new OX Division Champion......Right now the judges will render their decision for who won the first round.
The center judge lifts up a sign that says, “Flex Magnificent.” The crowd boos as the referee raises Flex Magnificent’s hand for victory of the first round.
The Fink: And now their decision for the 2nd round. *again the center judge raises a card....This time it says “Flex Magnificent.” The crowd boos as the referee again raises Flex’s hand.* And now their decision for the 3rd round. *The center judge pulls out another card & flips it over revealing......”Flex Magnificent.”
GM: This is preposterous! How did Flex Magnificent manage to win all of those falls?!
The center judge lifts up the cards for 4 & 5 to save any concern & they both say “Flex Magnificent.” Spaz clasps his head in his hands as he leans on the ropes as the bell rings & Flex Magnificent is handed the OX Division Title belt.
The Fink: The winner of this match by unanimous decision and NEEEEEW OX DIVISION CHAMPIOOOOON.....FLEX! MAGNIFICEEEEEENT!!!!!
Spaz is now becoming irate & arguing with the referee as Flex plays hero with the OX Division Title going from corner to corner holding it up for all to see. While he does this Spaz continues to talk to the referee & seems to be making sense to the referee. The heavily clothed judges are shown clapping for Flex as Spaz rolls out & grabs the mic. He speaks.
Spaz: HOLD ON A SECOND!!! Now I KNOW FOR SURE that there is NO WAY FLEX MAGNIFICENT OF ALL PEOPLE won all those rounds fair & square! In fact....I think he had a little help. Gentlemen hold back those judges!
Several soldiers behind the judges grab them from behind as Spaz casually walks to them. Flex is becoming irate & calling out to Spaz to stop. Dr. Delavier is even wheeling himself over to Spaz to beg him to stop. For his troubles Spaz side swipes him knocking him backwards in his wheelchair. He then continues on to the held captive judges. Spaz has a few words with them & one by one rips off their helmets & protective face gear from the sand flying around to reveal it’s Flex’s old WBF buddies “The Flexing Dutchman” Berry De Mey, Jackie “21" Gun Salute” Wilson, & “The Mighty” Jim Quinn!
All three men are struggling as the referee takes notice that these are NOT the men who were scheduled to be judging. Flex looks perplexed & begins to hightail it to the back with the title & Dr. Delavier until this announcement is made....
The Fink: Due to the circumstances of unassigned judges making the decision the referee has order this match to RESTART! And if Flex Magnificent does not return to the ring by the count of ten SPAZ WILL REMAIN OX DIVISION CHAMPION!!!
The crowd cheers as Flex hastily returns to the ring. As soon as he gets in he begins arguing with the ref immediately the bell sounds. Spaz rolls him up from behind. Spaz is sitting down on him.
1!
2!
POWER KICKOUT!!!!!!!
Flex pushes off so hard that Spaz is pushed into the ropes, bounces & falls back onto Flex Magnificent who is still on the floor with his feet up. Spaz falls back into the same position, but this time with a Backlund Bridge.
1!
2!
3!
Flex kicks out again, but it’s too late! The bell sounds & the Fink announces it.
The Fink: The winner of this match & STIIIIIL OX Division Champioooon....SPAAAAAZ!!!!!!!!!!
The crowd goes nuts as Spaz is handed back the title. He raises it for all to see!
UNTIL Flex fires back from behind with a tough elbow shot. Spaz takes the fall & drops his title. Spaz tries to stand & is met with a kick right to his throat. He’s rolling across the ring! Flex immediately grabs him back up & lifts him up for a STACKED SUPER SLAM!!! He deposits Spaz right on the turnbuckles back first. Spaz lies on the mat jumping here & there, but not for long as Flex picks him back up & lifts him high above his head for a REVERSE Stacked Super Slam. He has him up & DROPS HIM BACK FIRST ONTO HIS KNEE. Spaz is grabbing onto his back as he meets the floor. He begins to curl up in a ball as Flex rolls outside the ring. Flex’s friends break loose ,after the troops were in a false sense of security of Spaz’s win, & jump in the ring to take care of Spaz with various kicks & stomps as the bell continues to ring. Dr. Delavier hands Flex Spaz’s paper bag pal Baggy to Flex. The WBF Bodystars hold onto Spaz while Flex gets back into the ring with Baggy. As they hold onto Spaz Flex puts baggy over Spaz’s head & tells his boys to let Spaz go. They do & Flex begins to rant at Spaz with the bag on his head. After he’s through he throws him back to the WBF Bodystars & proceeds to walk over to each corner & rips off each top turnbuckle pad. He goes back to Spaz & rants a little more. He then proceeds to ram Spaz HEADFIRST into the exposed top turnbuckle pad. Blood is beginning to form from the looks of his bag head. He then takes Spaz to another corner & does the same. Spaz flies back & more blood flows from the bag. Flex picks him up & does it again to another corner. The bag is now ripped open as we can see part of Spaz’s face. The blood is flowing as Flex does it one last time on the remaining turnbuckle. Spaz lies motionless. Flex then grabs a mic & begins to speak.
Flex Magnificent: Listen politely ut wut I huv do say. SPAZ! You buddy...Gave me a run fo my money, but you didn’t do de job. You may huv yo crappy little belt, but IF YOU MUST CHEAT UND BEG DE EWT OFFICIALS DO HELP YOU KEEP It den I say....LET DE BABY HUV IT’S BOTTLE!!!! Spaz you couldn’t beat me on my wurst day let alone doday aftuh all yo schenanarie......Und because of dat Spaz....YOU LOSE YO CONTENTION WIT ME!!! YOU GO DOWN IN DE RANKS!!! GO BACK DO DE DRAWER’S BOARD, YOU SECOND RATE BRIT!!! Dis is MY reign. Dis is MY time. Und no one can stop de path of Maniflex Destiny. NO ONE! Not even uh SPAZ!!!
Flex drops the mic, grabs Spaz’s belt & throws it on the floor where a side plate falls off. They all make their way back to the exit.
GM: The nerve of this man! He says that Spaz has been lowered in the ranks? He beat him fair & square unlike Flex with his rigged referee & rigged jury. Unbelievable.
JV: Monsoon, this is only a beginning. He may not have won the OX Division title, but he has realized that he has overcome it. He has blossomed into a new man with new interests. Especially for such a corrupt division as the OX Division who can you trust?
GM: Simply unbelievable.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:44:54 GMT -5
*The bell rings. Several ladders are noted to be present at ringside. The GND title is suspended high above the ring, with the aid of a large crane. Chimel gets on the mic as the troops pop with anticipation.*
Chimel: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a LADDER MATCH, and it is for the GND Division…CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
*The crowd pops madly. “It’s My Time” hits, and Rosa, missing HBH, is out. She receives a huge amount of boos, and some of the troops chant “SKANK!” at her. She responds by glaring at the troops, intimidating them.*
Chimel: Introducing first, the challenger. She is the self-taught technical genius of the GND Division, and the master of the Northern Lights Driver! Ladies and gentlemen…ROSA!!!!
*Rosa then rolls into the ring, looks up at the championship, and then looks down at the troops, and indicates to her waist. She wants the title, and the look in her eyes has reached levels beyond psychopathic. She leans back at the ropes, and waits…patiently.*
*“She’s Got Issues” hits and the crowd get to their feet, giving Carla O Woe a huge pop. Carla runs out, throws up the horns, and then shakes the hands of the many troops at ringside.*
Chimel: Aaaaand her opponent, from Rochester, New Hampshire…she is the CURRENT…REIGNING…and DEFENDING GND Division Champion…CARLA O WOE!!!
*The crowd pops as Carla throws up the horns one last time, and then runs into the ring, sliding in and going straight for Rosa. Rosa and Carla duke it out with furious punches, with Carla punching Rosa back towards the turnbuckle. Carla then initiates an Irish Whip, which Rosa counters, sending Carla into the opposite turnbuckle. Rosa runs at Carla, but Carla counters with an elbow to the jaw! As Rosa holds her jaw, stunned, Carla hops to the second rope, and leaps off with a sunset flip! Rosa counters by holding onto the ropes, and then falling down with a hip drop onto Carla!
The bell rings as the match is officially underway. Rosa gets off of Carla and runs to the ropes, running back at Carla with a jumping senton. Carla rolls to her front, and attempts to lift herself up, but Rosa spares her no ground, and stomps down on Carla’s back, keeping her foot digging into Carla’s spine. Rosa leans down and taunts at Carla, slapping the back of her head as the crowd boo her mercilessly. Rosa then steps off, and then grabs Carla’s wrists, pulling her up for a Mexican Surfboard! Rosa screams triumphantly as Carla struggles to break the hold! Carla eventually gets one arm free, and then tries to fight at Rosa with a few furious backhands to the head! Rosa eventually loosens her grip, and drops Carla to her side! Carla lifts herself up by one hand, and falls quickly onto Rosa with a somersault leg drop! Carla then drags Rosa to the apron, and sticks her head through the ropes. Carla goes to the apron, and throws up the horns to a great pop, before leaping up with a leg drop! Rosa gets her head in at the last moment, however, and Carla falls to the outside! Carla quickly gets to her feet, and is met by Rosa, who flies outside onto Carla with a corkscrew plancha!!!
Rosa gets to her knees, and sighs, hands on her hips as Carla is down. Rosa makes her way around the ring to the ladders, and picks one up, sliding it into the ring. Rosa then decides to search under the ring whilst she’s there, and collects a steel chair! However, she is unaware that Carla has recovered, and is already in the ring! Carla then sees Rosa lift her head up, holding a chair in one hand, and she runs at the ladder, hitting it with a baseball slide! The ladder, propelled by the force, shoots directly into Rosa’s face!!!
*The troops begin the first “HOLY S***!!!” chant of the match as Rosa starts to bleed profusely from the nose!!!*
Carla goes over to the ropes to see Rosa, back turned to Carla, nursing her bleeding nose with pain (Although still holding the steel chair in one hand). Carla calls for an Asai moonsault, and the crowd give a huge pop!! Carla then swiftly moves out to the apron, and leaps out with an Asai moonsault…ROSA CATCHES CARLA IN THE STOMACH WITH THE CHAIR!!! Carla, stopped in mid-air by the chairs hot, falls to the ground, landing dangerously on her neck!!! Rosa, incensed by Carla’s actions, develops a psychotic look in her eye. She then proceeds to hit Carla again and again with the chair, each shot smashing into her back with such force that Carla screams in excruciating agony. Rosa then spits onto Carla, and stomps onto the back of her head! The crowd boos her mercilessly for this, and she responds by yelling at them to shut up, prompting another negative response! Rosa then picks up Carla by the hair, and pulls off a snapmare, locking in a chickenwing sleeper as Carla lands. Carla tries to fight back, and eventually gets to her feet! Carla tries to fight back with a few elbows, but Rosa hits a Russian leg sweep on Carla, sending her crashing back first onto the guardrail!! As Carla leans back onto the guardrail, reeling in pain, Rosa hops to the apron, and swiftly dives off with a missile dropkick onto Carla!!!
Carla falls down to her knees as Rosa grabs her by the throat. Rosa then lifts Carla up by the throat, and rolls her into the ring. Sliding herself in, Rosa walks mockingly over to Carla, and then grabs her ankles. Rosa laughs maniacally at Carla, trying desperately to fight back but failing, and Rosa eventually twists Carla’s leg around, going for a Figure Four leg lock…Carla reverses by kicking Rosa in the gut, making Rosa release her grip! Carla then headsprings up, catching Rosa and pulling off a laying hurricanarama!!! Rosa flips over and lands on her back as Carla crawls to the ropes and lifts herself up! Rosa scrambles to her feet as Carla stalks her from behind! Rosa eventually turns, and is caught by Carla in an STO position!! Rosa, however, strikes the side of Carla’s head with an elbow, and applies a front face lock to Carla. Rosa then drags Carla over to the grounded ladder, and places her above it!!! The crowd boos her as she looks around at the crowd, and develops a twisted grin, before hitting a DDT!!! DDT ONTO THE LADDER!!!! CARLA HAS BEEN BUSTED WIDE OPEN!!!
Rosa sits up, murderous glint in her eye, and kicks Carla over to her back. Rosa leans down over at Carla.
Rosa: “How does it feel Carla? Does it hurt? DOES IT HURT NOW??”
Rosa stomps down on Carla’s face, twisting her foot round on the open wound! Rosa finally stomps her foot down on Carla’s head, and then does the “it’s over” gesture. Rosa picks up the ladder, and sets it up. She then climbs the ladder, cautiously, and eventually gets near to the top. She reaches for the GND championship, but can’t reach...meanwhile, Carla, determined as ever, is crawling over to the ladder, and forcing herself to climb it, painstakingly! Rosa climbs another rung of the ladder, and again reaches for the belt, managing to touch it!! The crowd pops at the anticipation!! Carla eventually reaches the near top of the ladder, and she lunges at Rosa’s ribs!! Rosa is doubled up as Carla climbs further up the ladder, grabbing Rosa by the head, and pushing it down onto the top of the ladder! Carla grabs Rosa in a gut wrench, hoping to pull Rosa off the ladder…Rosa reverses…NORTHERN LIGHTS DRIVER!!! NORTHERN LIGHTS DRIVER FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER!!! The crowd goes nuts at the sight!
Both women are down, Carla devastated by the blow, Rosa exhausted. Rosa is first up to her feet, and she looks down at Carla, and delivers a single kick to her fallen body. Rosa then returns to the ladder, still erect, and climbs it. Carla is in no condition to climb the ladder, and can only crawl to the foot of the ladder as Rosa reaches the top! Rosa reaches for the belt…CARLA SHOVES THE LADDER DOWN!!! ROSA GOES FLYING AND LANDS THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCERS TABLE!!!!
Trainers, EMTs and referees come down to see the extent of the damage onto Rosa! Rosa, although in so much pain, is still conscious, but barely! Carla, still damaged from the Northern Lights Driver, lies on her front for a while, trying to recuperate as Rosa tries to do the same. Both women painfully rise to their feet, Carla being the first one up. The trainers back off as Rosa throws them off her, reassuring that she is “fine”. She is unaware that Carla is climbing the turnbuckle, and stalking her methodically…Carla eventually leaps off to the outside with a cross body…Rosa ducks out of the way, and a trainer is caught by Rosa instead!! Carla, cushioned by the trainer, looks down on the trainer, and apologizes, shocked. In her confusion, Carla quickly turns to Rosa to be hit with the SWEET CHIN MUZAK!!!!
Carla falls back onto the wreckage of the Spanish Announcers table as Rosa painfully gets up. Rosa then slides into the ring, and picks up the ladder, which is resting against the ropes. Rosa props it up, and sets it in the center of the ring, right underneath the belt. Rosa then climbs the ladder, and does so in haste, as Carla appears to be recovering! Rosa eventually reaches the top, and grasps at the belt…at the same time that Carla, summoning all of her strength, slides into the ring, once again shoving the ladder over…ROSA HANGS ONTO THE BELT!!! ROSA HANGS ONTO THE BELT!!! Rosa is suspended twenty feet in the air, being supported by wrapping her arms around the strap of the GND championship!! Carla looks up and can hardly believe this is happening!! Rosa eventually begins to try and unhook the belt from its position!! Carla, in desperation, runs to the turnbuckle, and leaps up to the top, RVD style! She then jumps off with a missile dropkick onto Rosa, forcing Rosa to let go of the belt and come crashing down to the mat!!! Rosa lands on her back, and observes the belt swaying to and fro…the belt looks like it could fall into her waiting arms at any moment…but it stays where it is.
As the crowd chant “THAT WAS AWESOME”, Rosa bellows in frustration. Both women are out, and they spend some time on the mat, trying to recover. They make it to opposite sides of the ring, and try to pull themselves up with the aid of the ropes. Both women then stare each other down, blood trickling down their faces. Carla and Rosa walk slowly over to each other, and they exchange punches, each one knocking the other back ever so slightly. Rosa eventually hits a rake to the eyes, sending Carla falling to one knee, clutching at her face. Rosa backs off, and then runs full force at Carla, hitting her with a Jimmy Rave kick to the chest! With Carla down, Rosa takes the ladder, and throws it down onto Carla’s body! Rosa then stomps down onto the ladder for good measure, and climbs the turnbuckle. The crowd jeers her, and she responds by looking back at them in disgust. This prompts Carla to swiftly push the ladder off her, and then run at Rosa, hitting her with a dropsault!! Rosa sways by the force, stunned. Carla grabs hold of the rope, catching her breath, and then runs at Rosa, hitting a hurricanarama to the outside!!!
Rosa falls to the ground outside, and Carla, by now almost completely exhausted, decides to finish the match, and she gets back into the ring, setting the ladder up! Slowly but surely, Carla climbs the ladder, reaching for the gold!! The crowd is on their feet as Rosa slides into the ring and crawls to the ladder, much like Carla did earlier on in the match!! As Carla reaches for the gold, Rosa shakes the ladder whilst still crawling on the mat!! Carla starts shaking on the ladder and desperately tries to keep her balance…without warning Carla leaps off with the EYE CANDY!!! EYE CANDY LANDING FROM THE TOP OF THE LADDER RIGHT ONTO ROSA’S BACK!!!!
Rosa looks shocked by the impact, arching back. She then falls down to the mat as Carla, still as fatigued as ever, grabs Rosa by her wrestling tights, and slides her under the bottom rope to the outside of the ring. Carla, in so much pain, proceeds to climb the ladder again, sluggishly but ever so surely…Carla gets to the top of the ladder, and reaches for the belt! Rosa can only watch from the outside, trying her best to get back in the ring!! Carla grabs hold of the championship as Rosa grasps at the ropes, trying to hoist herself back in the ring…CARLA UNHOOKS THE BELT!!! CARLA HAS TAKEN THE BELT!!!
Winner and STILL GND Division Champion: Carla O Woe.
*Carla takes the belt and then falls down to the mat, clutching the championship. Her face is a mask of crimson, but that doesn’t matter to her, as she has retained the title. The Referee takes her hand, and raises it high as the troops give Carla a standing ovation. Rosa eventually gets into the ring as Carla stumbles up. Rosa stares at Carla with an envious glare. She looks down at the title, and then at Carla herself. The crowd gives their props to both women in the ring. Carla eventually goes over to Rosa…and extends her hand. Rosa looks at Carla as though she is crazy, and starts to turn to leave. Carla then blurts out “for the troops…”, and Rosa stops. She lets her head drop, and then looks around at all the men and women in uniform. The crowd gives her a great pop as she reluctantly goes back to Carla, and shakes her hand ever so briefly before leaving the ring. Rosa walks to the back disappointed as Carla looks on, with a newfound respect for Rosa. It is clear that although both women despise each other, they do have a good level of respect for one another
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:45:44 GMT -5
* Cut backstage as Toom E Dangerously is walking & he bumps into Deamon Cohln.*
TED: Hey Deamon, got a question for you. Since dorf’s match is off tonight, I understand you got a somebody to confront for tonight. Would you like some ring time?
* Deamon doesn’t even answer, as he runs out to the ring.*
Deamon: Now for a couple days now I’ve been saying that someone was coming back and he was going to either have a problem with me or join me. To tell you the truth I really don’t know what’s going on. I’ve just been letting it all slide. I’ve been riding the wave letting everything just go by me. But that’s all gonna change now. I’m taking this situation my own way. Whoever the hell is here for me I want you to come down right now and say or do whatever you’ve got to... well... say or do!
*The next few seconds are just Deamon staring at the entrance ramp yelling “come on!”. Out of nowhere Slipknot-Wait and Bleed hits and out comes Jacola Cohln. The troops cheer as if to say Deamon deserves the beating he‘s about to get.*
Deamon: NO! No! I put you in the hospital! I ended your career! That can’t!
*Jacola slides into the ring and gets in Deamon’s face. Deamon goes to say something but Jacola rips the mic out of his hands.*
Jacola: Before you say anything brother, I want to show you something that I have set up with the production crew. Something that happened, just last month after our match. Yes I am aware you beat me and put me in the hospital but bones heal and blood cleans off. But words stay in your brain... Here! *He points to the Tron. A flashback to Rebirth is showing*
REBIRTH 2005
*The crowd is going insane as Deamon takes the sledgehammer and jumps on the middle rope and holds the hammer in the air. He gestures to a stagehand to give him a mic.*
Deamon: *breathing heavily holding his back* JACOLA! Hell of a fight bro! But I know what you talked to Toomi about. Saying you want me out of EWT! That's crap man. But you know what. I'm going to take the highroad. When you get back from the hospital, come talk to me. Some tag titles are waiting for us. *The crowd cheers and Deamon drops the mic and salutes the crowd before he exits the ring. The camera fades out*
*A EWT log flashes for a second and we return to the ring where both brothers are still standing there.*
Deamon: So what does that mean?
Jacola: That’s it, you see through my time at the hospital I saw you. I watch you assault Sum Guy, I saw you destroy fettster. I saw you be a complete change from when we last fought.
Deamon: SO! what’s that got to do with anything?
Jacola: I just want to say........... I’m proud of ya. *the troops boo loudly* I want to take you up on your offer.
*The brother hug and raise their hands like in a victory salute. Deamon grabs the mic and gets on the middle rope.*
Deamon: Now that that’s over, look out EWT. There is a new force in town! We will take over that Tag division! WE ARE THE COHLNS! And That’s the GODDAMN TRUTH!
Maria Kanellis: Okay everybody, here I am with Joel and Mike, the Nyrds! The Nyrds are about to take on reigning tag-team champions, the Ragnals. So Joel, Mike, I think the question on everybody's mind is, remembers when I was your valet for like a while?
Mike: ...Oh yeah, I remember that. Then we split up.
Joel: That was weird. But the thing now is, Joe, Mike, we've said it before and we'll say it again, there's a reason why you two are the tag team champions. You are technically sound, tremendous high-flyers, and good God, you're fantastic at Soul Calibur.
Mike: Whooped Joel nine times, Mike did.
Joel: But this is now. We're on the prowl, and we're hungry. It's the Nyrds time, now. Tonight, will go down in history, for the Nyrds, as they finally recapture the Tag-Team Titles! Tonight, is the night we've been waiting for. Tonight...tonight...tonight...
Mike: (singing) AWWW-OOOOOOH!!!
Joel: Look out Ragnals, the Nyrds are coming.
Joel starts to leave. Mike quickly throws up the Nyrd sign.
Mike: Nyrd Life, bay-bee!
Mike follows Joel off screen. ***
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:46:33 GMT -5
It's all about the Pentiums, baby...
Joel and Mike dance their way down to the ring extra hard for the troops, and the troops show their appreciation with a huge pop. Mike once again dances like Ron Killings, as Joel waves the flag around, doing a few pop-locks in between. Joel and Mike get in front of the camera, have a big laugh, and motion around their waists, signifying that they plan on winning the titles. Joel gives the flag to a fan in the front row, and they slide in. Joel gets in the middle of the ring, and throws up the Nyrd sign, as Mike, of course, performs the Windmill behind him, stopping to throw up the sign with Joel. "High Voltage" by Linkin Park soon replaces the Nyrds theme, and the crowd roars again, as Joe and Mike walk out, Joe himself with his own flag. The Ragnals make their way down to the ring in melody with their song, and Joe hands his flag to someone else at ringside, and they slide in. Joel and Mike meet up with Mike and Joe, and they all shake hands in the middle of the ring. The bell rings, and Joel and Mike (Ragnal) head to their respecting corners.
Mike runs at Joe, who ducks a clothesline. Mike hits the ropes, and comes off to hit a 540 spin kick, which Joe also ducks. Mike lands on the mat, and Joe backflips into a standing moonsault. Joe covers Mike, but only receives a two count. Joe and Mike roll up to their feet, and go into a Test of Strength. Joe begins to win the Test, but Mike puts his leg up onto Joe's shoulder, and uses it to flip himself backwards, twisting their arms up. Mike falls back, and monkeyflips Joe, and lets go of his hands. Mike pulls up Joe, and hits a sit-out Gordbuster. Mike rolls Joe over, and hooks his leg for a two count. Mike pulls Joe back up, but Joe breaks free, and quickly hits a snap suplex. Joe runs to the corner, leaps up to the top rope, and with an impressive air span, reaches Mike with a long flying elbow drop. Mike kicks out at two.
Joe gets up and tags in Mike Ragnal, and Mike leaps over to Joel to tag him in. Both run at eachother, but Joel zooms past Mike, reaches back, and whips him into the ropes. Joel runs to the ropes adjacent from him. As they both reach eachother in the middle of the ring, Joel jams himself into Mike to hit Da' POOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUNCE-Uh! Joel turns around to do Monty Brown's lion roar, earning himself a pop, not realizing that Mike is already back on his feet. Joel walks to the ropes, and nuzzles the top, Monty style, and turns around in time to be clotheslined over the top by Mike. As Joel gets up, Mike slingshots himself over the top, and hits a tornado plancha onto Joel. Mike pulls Joel up, and whips him into the guard rail, sending him flipping over into the front row. Mike backs up a ways, then breaks into a run. As Mike approaches the rail, Joel suddenly sommersaults over the rail, and hits a mini Tope Con Hilo onto Mike, sending them both crashing to the floor.
Meanwhile, after having battled it out for a while in the ring, Mike (Hodgson) and Joe Ragnal have taken a tumble over the ropes themselves, and are duking it out at ringside. Joe boots Mike in the stomach, and gordbusters him onto the rail. Mike stays in place, as Joe leaps up onto the apron, and backs off a bit. Joe then runs along the apron, jump-sommersaults, and then lands a leg drop on the back of Mike's head, flipping Mike off the rails. Joe rolls Mike into the ring, and at the same time, Joel rolls Mike Ragnal into the ring. Joe runs at Joel, but Joel ducks a spinning leg lariat, and spins Joe around, boots him in the stomach, and hits him with a running powerbomb into the turnbuckle. Joel helps Mike (H) up, and they both set Joe up into a tree of woe. Joel lifts Mike up powerbomb style, and lets him backflip from this position, and stomps his feet into Joe Ragnal's chest.
Joel and Mike walk over to Mike Ragnal, still on the ground, and they do a quick pop-lock routine, which ends with them clasping hands, and falling into a double elbow drop. However, M Ragnal slips out of the way, and he jumps up to roll up Joel in a mahistrol cradle, receiving a two count before Mike Hodgson breaks up the count. Mike picks Mike up, and lifts him up for a powerbomb, as Joel leaps up for the neckbreaker, and just before the Revenge of the Nyrds is hit, Joe Ragnal superkicks Mike, and he drops the powerbomb, and Mike Ragnal lands on his feet, still in neckbreaker mode. Mike reaches up and wraps his hands around Joel's neck, and they hit a neckbreaker on eachother at the same time. Joe tangles up with Mike Nelson. Joe pulls Mike up, backs him into the ropes, and hits a moonsault kick, sending Mike tumbling back over the ropes. Joe slingshots over the ropes, and lands a hurricanrana on a rising Mike. Mike Ragnal pulls himself over into this mix, and they both send Mike Hodgson over the rails, and follow him into the crowd.
The Ragnals both take turns with punching Mike, in a sort of juggling style, sending him back and forth between the two. Soon, they both tandem whip him again, this time into a row of empty chair, knocking them all over. Joe and Mike then make their way back to the rails, when suddenly, Joel clears the rail with a big leap, clotheslining them both to the floor. Joel valiantly battles with both of them, while they soon gain the number advantage, and double team drop him onto the rails. They take Joel further into the crowd, not realizing that Mike Hodgson is nowhere to be found, and double suplex him onto some fallen chairs. Joe and Mike pull Joel up, and they take him through the crowd, and reach the rail once again.
Mike launches himself from the turnbuckle nearest their position, and sommersaults through mid-air, RVD style, crashing into Joe, Mike, and even poor Joel! The troops start a huge "THIS IS F***ING AWESOME *clapclap*" chant. It's a long time before anyone moves again. But soon, Mike Ragnal is up on his feet, crawling over the rails and into the ring, followed by Joel Nelson. Both look at eachother for a long time, and then force themselves at eachother. Mike boots Joel in the stomach, and lifts him up across his back, and hits the Ragnalrok! The crowd pops for this development, and count along with the ref, ONE, TWO, NOOO JOEL KICKS OUT! Mike can't believe it!
Mike pulls Joel up, and Joel quickly boots Mike in the stomach, flips him over, and hits the Bravestarr Clash! The crowd counts along again, ONE, TWO, MIKE RAGNAL KICKS OUT AS WELL! Joel can't believe it either, as he rolls off of Mike. Joe suddenly dives out of no where off the top and hits the Cloudbreaker on Joel! ONE, TWO, JOEL KICKS OUT AGAIN! What the hell is this, Japan?!!? Joe jumps up, obviously not believing what's happening, and soon Mike Hodgson runs up from behind him, and hits the Life Force Code! ONE, TWO, JESUS H, MAN, JOE RAGNAL KICKS OUT! The crowd is losing their minds, as both Nyrds and both Ragnals are laid out all over the ring. Soon, Joel pulls himself up, and helps up Mike Hodg. Joel pulls up Mike Ragnal, and lifts him over his shoulder, as Mike climbs for the top.
Mike prepares for take-off to hit the Zero Guys Left, but then, yes just then, Joe Ragnal leaps up, runs up the ropes, and enziguris Mike right off his perch, sending him crashing and burning out to the outside! Mike Ragnal slips off of Joel's shoulder, and lifts him up for a back drop suplex, as Joe realigns himself up top. Joe then dives off the top, hitting an inverted DDT just as Mike hits the back drop suplex on Joel. Joe covers Joel, and the ref counts one...two...THREE! Mike tries to slip in and interfere, but it's all for naught, as the Ragnals are declared the victors! After a solid attempt to out-do each other, the Ragnals/Nyrds match comes to an end, as the Ragnals are declared the victors, and the crowd loves them all for it.
(The ref hands Joe & Mike Ragnal their tag team title belts. They walk over to the center of the ring, and the ref raises their hands in victory. Suddenly, ULTIMO CHOCULA comes barrelling down the entryway and slides into the ring. The crowd erupts with boos as Chocula grabs Joe Ragnal and starts to deliver a rapid series of punches to his face. Joe drops his tag-team title belt and is staggered by the suprise attack. Mike Ragnal quickly comes over to help his brother. Chocula starts firing punches at him, too, and starts alternating between who he's hitting. The Ragnals start to recover. Mike catches Chocula with a kick to the midsection, and then he and Joe back Chocula into a corner. The crowd cheers the Ragnals on as Chocula continues throwing wild punches, trying to hold his own.
Suddenly, one of the soldiers from the audience jumps the guardrail surrounding the ring and slides in under the bottom ropes. The troops go wild, until the soldier takes off his uniform. Its BILLY "THE VIRGIN" UBERMARK!!! Billy gets back on his feet in a hurry, and quickly comes in behind Mike Ragnal and hits him with a clothesline to the back of the head. Mike staggers forwards and Joe is caught off-guard. Chocula uses the moment of suprise to restart his ambush on Joe Ragnal by grabbing him from behind and connecting with the "Squid Face". He then takes Joe and begins kicking him in the rib cage.
Meanwhile, Billy takes Mike Ragnal and whips him into the far corner of the ring. He quickly follows up and connects with a monkey flip that sends Mike Ragnal flying and landing hard on his back. Mike struggles to get to his feet quickly, but Billy comes up behind him as he gets up. He grabs Mike from behind and connects with the "Virgin Sacrafice"! Mike is left lying in the middle of the ring, dazed by the move. Boos start to fill the air around the ring as Billy then begins laying the boots to the back of Mike's head.
By this time, Ultimo Chocula has gotten on top of Joe Ragnal and begun delivering a series of closed punches to his face. Joe is busted wide open, but Chocula continues to pound on him, relentlessly. Finally, he gets off of Joe, drags him to his feet, and pushes Joe Ragnal into a corner. Chocula grabs one of the tag-team title belts and positions in squarely on the mat behind him. He then takes Joe Ragnal from the corner and DDT's him onto the title belt. Ragnal leaves a bloody face print on the belt, which Ultimo Chocula then kicks out of the way. Chocula hollers something at Billy Ubermark, who is still kicking Mike Ragnal in the head. Billy gives Chocula a thumbs up and runs over to one of the turnbuckles, where he climbs up to the top rope. Chocula grabs Mike Ragnal by the feet so he can't get away, and Billy Ubermark launches himself off of the top rope and hits a Five-Star Frog Splash on the helpless Mike Ragnal.)
(Chocula looks at his hands, which are covered in blood, and smiles. He goes over to the ring post and wipes his hands off on the turnbuckle. He gestures to the ring announcer who hands him a microphone. Chocula bangs on the head of the mic to test it, and then begins talking over the boos of the fans)
CHOCULA: "You know what I'm sick of? Busting my hump for a company that doesn't give two *BEEP!*s about me! I'm the biggest thing to hit the EWT since the syphillis epidemic that hit England in 1741! I've been here a long damn time and I've put on 5 star classics one after the other! I'm one of the most charismatic, best looking, most exciting, most *BEEP!*ing loved athletes who's ever stepped into the ring! Seriously! Look at me! I'm a miracle of modern evolution! I'm the guy your old lady thinks of when she's enduring the hopeless task of screwing you! And check out the *BEEP!* print, ladies! That's 100%, all natural, Ultimo in these shorts!"
(Chocula poses provacativly as the fans continue to boo him. He continues on, though, as if he doesn't hear them. Beside him, Billy Ubermark pats Chocula on the back shows his support).
*CHOCULA*: "Die jealous, turkeys! So with my athletisism, my marketability, my god given good looks you'd think I'd be first in line for a title shot! But no! Instead I'm getting passed over for an endless parade of jokers, usurpers, charletons! I mean, didn't I beat this lump of goo right here? (Chocula pauses for a moment to kick Joe Ragnel in the ribs before continuing) Now he's one half of the tag champs? Then that filthy bum Pow steals the belt off of me! I should have won that match but the friggin' ref didn't call it! How is that fair? It ain't, Chester! Well I'm tired of waiting for my shot! I'm taking what I deserve! And what I deserve is some gold! I deserve some status! I deserve some damn respect! And I'm going to get it with the help of my new buddies here!"
(Chocula hands the mic to Billy Ubermark. Billy is greeted with another chorus of boos from the crowd as he takes the mic and starts in.)
*BU*: TWO MONTHS! For two month I've been away from this ring after having my bell rung by a guy who smells like a salmon factory and being carted out of this ring on a stretcher! I spent a week in a hospital, and a couple more weeks at home trying to get back to health! And in that time, I go from being one of the greatest Tri-State Champions of all time, to being practically forgotten about! And when someone finally DOES remember me, how do they go about showcasing me? I'll tell you how! They get some chump in a butt-ugly suit, have him break into my apartment while I'm sleeping, disrupt my life, and make smart ass comments about me being a VIRGIN! That's right! He didn't care about all the great things I've done for this company, or how I RAISED the status of the Tri-State Championship. Instead, all he cared about was that I was still a virgin! That's all anyone remembered!
(Chocula pats Billy on the back as Billy continues on with a scowl on his face.)
*BU*: How dare you?! How dare the E.W.T. and you fans forget about all the great things I've done in this fed?! Instead of remembering me, and wishing I'd come back, you dump me aside like a sack of garbage! Just because I'm a VIRGIN, you guys treat me like I'm insignificant! I gave you some of the best damned matches you'll ever see! I fought in cage matches, battle royals, no-holds-barred matches, and God only knows whatelse! I was the longest reigning Tri-State Champion of all time! To be pushed aside and damn-near forgotten after I was injured was BEYOND simply Virgin Discrimination! It was borderline CRIMINAL! I DESERVED BETTER! I deseved WAY BETTER than to be left in the dust and forgotten while second-rate punks like THIS get put in the spotlight!
(Billy points at Mike Ragnal who is still lying motionless in the ring. He pauses for a second the fans in the background chant "You're A Virgin" in a mocking tone. Billy, however, pays them no attention and just keeps on with his rant.)
You call this sad sack of trash lying in the ring a champion?! Bull-*BLEEP*! I am one of the greatest Tri-State Champions of all time! I KNOW what makes a champion, and this guy ain't it! Ultimo Chocula and I are the epitome of what the E.W.T. should showcase for talent! And like he said, all three of us are going to prove it!
(The crowd's boos are loud and heavy and the ring is filling with debris. UC and Billy grin at the fan's spite. Billy takes to the mic again.)
*BU* "What's this? Did I say the three of us? No, that's not a mistake! You see, Ultimo and I, we were approached by someone who also feels that we are being overlooked! This person sees that we are the two best wrestlers this business has ever seen! And this is the person who will lead us to the promised land! Ladies and jerks! Clap your undeserving hands for our new manager.......Moniqua Morricone!
(As Billy finishes, a very well dressed woman of Italian descent makes her way out from the back. She looks like she should be on a runway in Paris instead of a wrestling ring. She's holding a small Pomeranian dog and heads down to the ring. Both UC and Billy hold the ropes open for her and Billy gives her the mic.)
Moniqua: "As all of you can see by how attractive and sophisticated I am, I obviously know something about beautiful! AND I know something about talent! And I can tell you all, right now, that there is no more beautiful AND tallented combination than there the two men in the ring with me, right now! Isn't that right, Fru Fru?"
Fru Fru: "Yip!"
Moniqua: "That's right, sweetie! (looks around the ring at the fallen Ragnals) Oh my, this will never do. Darlings, could you please dispose of the ugliness that is dirtying up the ring?"
(She whispers something to Chocula who then motions to Billy. Chocula grabs Joe Ragnal and disposes of him over the top rope, landing him in a heap on the outside of the ring. Billy takes Mike and throws him between the middle and top ropes. As Mike lands, Billy hacks up a lunger and spits it at Mike. The two then go back to standing beside Moniqua.)
Moniqua: "There. That is so much better. As I was saying, there is no more beautiful AND talented combination than these two gorgeous men with me in the ring, right now. And we're going to show everyone that we mean business. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the NEWEST.... the HOTTEST... the MOST BEAUTIFUL... the MOST TALENTED... and the MOST DANGEROUS... and soon-to-be the NEXT E.W.T. TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS!.... Ultimo Chocula and Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark.... THE HANDSOME BOY MODELING SCHOOL!"
(With those words, Billy and Chocula move in close to Moniqua. They each turn sideways and strike model-like poses. Both have their backs up against Moniqua. Chocula flexes the muscles on his left arm and gives the audience a smirking smile as though posing for a camera. Billy puts one arm across his chest, and has another arm up with his hand running through his black hair. He puts a serious look on his face, and freezes in that pose also, as though waiting for someone to take his picture. Moniqua looks at each of them and smiles. Fru Fru wags his little tail and yips again.)
Moniqua: "Aren't they just delicious? And to all the homely, uncivilized teams in the E.W.T.'s tag-team division... including the so-called champs... take notice. We will show you how that being sexy and being successful go hand in hand!"
(With that, Billy and Ultimo Chocula break their poses. They start smiling and laughing arrogently as they follow Moniqua out of the ring and back up the asile. The cameras follow them up the ramp where Moniqua tells them to wait. She whistles sharply, and soon a long, burgundy limosine pulls up from out of the back. Moniqua goes and opens the door for them, and Ultimo Chocula and Billy Ubermark climb in back. Moniqua then follows them and slams the door shut. The scene fades to black as the Limo backs out of the entryway amidst the boos of the fans.)
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:47:17 GMT -5
* A video package is shown of some high flying action from the same person…a voice over can be heard.* Voiceover: The Trik is in the bag. The Triks are in the trade. The Triks are coming to EWT. Triks aren’t for kids anymore. Can you handle some Triks? * Big bold letters are shown, reading* Trik
Turner
Is
Coming [/b][/center]
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:47:49 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall & is the Farewell Match. Coming to the ring first is the man they call Merc. And his opponent, making his final EWT appearance…Dave Davies.
* The bell sounds as Merc & Davies lock up in the center of the ring. Davies manages a hiptoss to Merc & then lands a dropkick to the face. Davies runs the ropes & hits a baseball slide to Merc that sends Merc sliding outside the ring. Davies grabs the top rope as Merc gets to his feet. Davies catapaults himself over the top rope; crashing down on Merc. Davies gets to his feet & lifts up Merc. Merc manages a knee to the midsection & tosses Davies into the ring post. Merc grabs Davies & scoops him up, landing a fall away slam to the concrete. Merc gets to his feet & starts kicking at Davies. Merc lifts Davies up & throws him back into the ring. Merc slides into the ring & gets up, lifting Davies up. Merc sets up Davies & nails a German Suplex on him. Merc lifts Davies up & throws him hard enough into the turnbuckle, where he flips & lands in a Tree of Woe. Merc heads over & starts standing on the crotch area of Davies. Merc jumps down & grabs Davies head, ramming it into the turnbuckle upside down. Davies reaches with his hand & grabs Merc’s leg. Davies manages to get a leg free, & kicks Merc in the face. Davies quickly gets both legs around the head of Merc & spins into a standing Hurricanarama. Merc crashes into the ropes, as Davies gets back to his feet. Davies runs the ropes & lands a 619 to Merc, as Merc flies backwards with a flip. Davies goes for a cover.*
* Merc manages to get a shoulder up. Davies gets to his feet, pulling Merc up, & throws him into the ropes. Davies leaps into the air & connects with a Leg Lariat. Davies runs the ropes & hits a Lionsault. Merc manages to get a knee up, sending it into Davies gut. Merc gets to his feet & grabs Davies. Merc throws Davies outside the ring. Merc follows after him, where he grabs a steel chair. Merc brings the chair crashing down on Davies back. Merc smashes the chair on Davies back again. Merc tosses the chair aside & grabs the microphone from the ring announcer table:*
Merc: You are most definetly going to go out with a bang, b****.
* Merc smashes the microphone on Davies head multiple times, as Davies is busted open & the microphone breaks. Merc grabs Davies & tosses him on the Iraqi Announce Table. Merc climbed on top of the announce table, where he grabbed a bloody Davies. Merc lifted up Davies & set him up for a Payoff. Davies managed to wiggle his legs, which caused Merc to release the hold. Merc & Davies started throwing punches on the table. Merc low blowed Davies with a kick & grabbed Davies. Merc grabbed Davies head & placed it between his legs, pulling Davies up, & piledriving him through the Iraqi Announce Table. Merc got to his feet, where he grabbed a battered Davies & tossed him back in the ring. Merc climbed onto the apron & then climbed to the top rope. Merc looked around the arena at the troops & looked down at Davies, where he gave Davies the finger. Merc leaped off with a flying elbow as Davies just barely rolled out of the way. Davies rolled to the ropes, where he used the ropes to get to his feet. Davies touched his forehead & saw the blood from being busted open. Suddenly, it was like a whole new Davies. He was a man possessed. Davies ran at Merc as he got to his feet with such force, that he nailed a clothesline causing Merc to flip 360 degrees. Davies climbed on top of Merc & started punching away at him. Davies got to his feet & let out a scream. Davies then climbed out of the ring, where he grabbed the steel chair Merc used. Davies climbed back into the ring, where he ran at Merc on the ground, & dropkicked the chair into Merc’s face. Davies set up the chair in the center of the ring, lifting Merc up into a German Suplex, & then smashing Merc’s head into the chair as he came down. Davies grabbed Merc & slid him over to the corner. Davies hollered at the ring announcer, who came over. Davies then ran to the other corner & climbed to the top rope. Davies motioned to the ring announcer, who held the chair up. Davies leaped off the corner & landed a dropkick to the steel chair, sending it crashing into Merc’s face. This drove the troops in attendance crazy as they chanted:*
Troops: HOLY S***!! HOLY S***!! HOLY S***!!
* Davies got to his feet, beat his feet on his chest, & pointed to the troops. Davies then grabbed a bloody Merc & covered him for the 1-2-3. A bloody Davies got to his feet & dropped to his knees, tears in his eyes. Davies looked at the blood in his hands & got back to his feet. He grabbed the steel chair & walked over to an unconscious Merc, standing above him. Davies grabbed Merc’s hand without Merc realizing it & shook it, mouthing the words, “Thank you.” Davies released the hand of Merc as it slumped onto his unconscious chest & climbed out of the ring, leaping into the troops cheering for him, steel chair in hand. Davies handed the chair to a soldier & grabbed a pen, signing the chair. Davies climbed back in the ring as EMT’s checked on Davies. Davies thumped his chest again & pointed out to the troops. Davies eyes swelled with tears some more as the fans started chanting his name. Davies climbed out of the ring, shaking hands, high fiving, & hugging the troops at ringside, then heading back up the aisle way. Davies got to the back of the stage, where he did the sign for “I Love You” & disappeared behind the curtains one last time.*
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:48:21 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall per the authority of Toom E Dangerously. Making her way to the ring first is the woman known as oceanic. And her opponent at this time, here comes Mystery. * Mystery comes to the ring, steel chair in her hand. Oceanic runs & slides out of the ring, charging at Mystery. Mystery swings with the chair as oceanic ducks under the chair & gets behind Mystery; landing punches that cause Mystery to drop the chair. Oceanic then leaps up, getting her legs around Mystery’s head, & nailing a Hurricanarama to the outside. Oceanic grabs Mystery & goes to throw her into the ring apron, but Mystery reverses it, sending oceanic into the barricade. Mystery charges at oceanic, landing a clothesline that sends both over the barricade. Mystery grabs an MP’s baton & smashes it into the head of oceanic. Mystery climbs over the barricade again & grabs oceanic, ramming her head into the barricade. Mystery climbs onto the apron, where she runs the apron, & leaps off with a flying elbow. Oceanic gets out of the way, as Mystery crashes into the barricade. Oceanic climbs onto the barricade & leaps off, nailing a Hurricanarama off the barricade. Oceanic grabs the baton & looks down at Mystery. Oceanic decides to hand the baton back to the MP instead & grabs Mystery, throwing her into the ring. Oceanic grabs Mystery & throws her into the ropes. oceanic nails a takedown clothesline onto Mystery. Oceanic lifts up Mystery & throws her into the turnbuckle. Oceanic climbs the turnbuckles to the second rope, grabbing Mystery. Oceanic manages to get Mystery up while she is standing on the second rope. Oceanic leaps off the ropes into a 360 Samoan Drop. Oceanic goes for a cover, but Mystery gets her foot to the ropes.* * oceanic gets to her feet, where she grabs Mystery. Mystery manages the old thumb to the eye. Mystery gets to her feet & kicks oceanic. Mystery grabs oceanic & bodyslams her on the mat. Mystery drops an elbow on her. Mystery lifts up oceanic & throws her into the turnbuckle. Mystery charges at oceanic & nails a high knee to her. Mystery grabs oceanic & hits a double arm DDT on her. Mystery goes for a cover, but oceanic manages to get her shoulder up. Mystery gets mad at this & starts punching oceanic. Mystery then starts giving the boot to oceanic. Oceanic manages to grab the boot & gets Mystery off balance, falling. Oceanic runs the ropes & hits a baseball slide dropkick to Mystery. Oceanic lifts up oceanic, throwing her into the ropes. Oceanic hits a Lou Thesz Press. Oceanic, instead of throwing punches though, grabs Mystery’s legs as the referee counts 1-2-3. oceanic gets to her feet as the referee raises her hand in victory.* * Mystery gets to her feet while oceanic’s back is turned & nails a forearm to oceanic from behind. Oceanic flies out through the ropes. Mystery climbs outside, where she grabs a steel chair. As oceanic gets to her feet, Mystery nails her in the head with the chair, busting her open. Mystery hits oceanic again in anger. Mystery then grabs oceanic, helping her to her feet, & applies the mandible claw on her. The referee tries to break her off, as road agents run out from the back. They manage to pry Mystery off her, as Mystery stands above a bloody oceanic. Mystery raises her hand in victory as if she’s won, while yelling:* Mystery: RESPECT ME!! RESPECT ME!!! RESPECT ME!!! * Cut to a video package of Moxie’s road to the championship from his return to tonight. The package ends with:* Is Tonight His Night?
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Dec 18, 2005 22:49:29 GMT -5
<We fade back in, and prepare for the Main Event!>
<The lights go out, and a spotlight fades in on the Fink, who is dressed in a simple tuxedo, smiling>
Fink: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for your MAIN EVENT and is for the vacated World Heavyweight Championship!
<The lights go out and “RIP” by Gary Numan begins playing. The crowd erupts as bright green lights and flashes float throughout the arena. A “LIMEY!! LIMEY!!” chant starts up, and the crowd goes nuts when Limey makes his way out from underneath the Toomi-Tron>
Fink: Weighing in at “15 Stone”, hailing from Liverpool, England… LIMEY!!!
<Limey makes his way down to the ring, slapping hands with fans. He walks into the ring, slides in and makes his way to his corner turnbuckle. He stands on the corner and raises his hands, to an eruption>
Crowd: LIIII-MEEEEEYY… LIIII-MEEEEEYY!
<The lights go back out again, the crowd hushes. A flashbang goes off, and “high-pitched” guitar frets rip through the stands. Ill Nino’s “La Liberacion of Our Awakening” begins and the flashbangs erupt in front of the ToomiTron. A silhouette appears, and it reveals Moxie, standing there, his arms out and his head facing up. The music continues and Moxie walks down to the ring. Stern-faced and cold, he ignores the fans, and stares at Limey>
Fink: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 214 pounds, he is the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship… he is Moxie!!!
<The camera pans out and shows a man holding up a “Prophecy Reborn” shirt, with pictures of HitmanMark, Moxie and the silent woman>
<Moxie slides into the ring, and moves to his corner. He squats down in his corner and waits>
Jim Ross: Folks! Good ole JR here, along with the EWT’s own Carl Guerrero.
Carl Guerrero: What a night this has been! Title battles, Hell in a Cell and we aren’t finished yet!
JR: Yes Carl, and tonight we have a fire-fueled match up, Moxie vs. Limey for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship. Seems that everyone is into the match tonight, this crowd is about as sane as a pet coon!
CG: That’s for sure, JR! It all started when Moxie was brought out by Toom E. Dangerously, and told he was could be replaced… and with a surprise attack by Limey.
JR: It’s well known that Moxie isn’t well liked by Toom, or the boys in the back. Toom and Moxie’s past goes back to when Moxie disobeyed TooMcMahon and Moxie was stripped of any chance to be the OX division Champion.
CG: This could be the beginning of the end for Moxie, or a beginning of an era for Limey.
<The bell rings, and Moxie gets up from his squat, and stands in the middle. He stands straight up and he and Limey meet nose to nose.>
JR: The fire burns in both of these men! The need for the World Heavyweight Championship is insane!
CG: Yeah JR. When Moxie was feuding with Dorf, it knocked him a bit loopy… not to mention Limey’s agonizing and brutal feud with the 5-time Scammy Winner Flex Magnificent.
<The dueling crowd makes their appearance yet again…>
Crowd: LETS GO LI-MEY!! <clap clap clap clap clap>
Crowd: LETS GO MOX-IE!! <clap clap clap clap clap>
<Moxie and Limey are still nose-to-nose, sharing each other’s opinion, and just downright cursing and swearing>
<Moxie laughs, smirks then his face grows stern and he turns and slaps Limey across the face. Limey takes it, but then no-sells it just laughs in Moxie’s face. Moxie looks down and shakes his head, laughing. Limey puts his chin out and asks Moxie to hit him. Moxie turns around, and shakes his head no at Limey. Limey turns around and points and laughs, as the crowd joins in.>
-WHACK!-
<Moxie hits Limey from behind with an Axe Handle to the neck, and Limey drops to a knee. Moxie bounces off the adjacent ropes and hits a dropkick to the chest of Limey, and he falls back. Moxie lifts Limey back up, but Limey hits Moxie with a punch to the gut, and as Moxie keels over, it looks like Limey is going for a powerbomb!>
<Moxie reverses, pulling Limey up, and barrels backward into the turnbuckle. Limey’s back hits the turnbuckle, and his feet lock into a tree of woe. Moxie gets up from the floor of the ring, and kicks Limey a few times in the gut. He pulls himself up onto the 2nd ropes, places his boot onto Limey’s groin and starts shouting/singing “God save the King”>
JR: That’s just plain disrespectful.
<The ref pulls Moxie down and unties Limey, as Moxie smirks and stands in the opposite corner. Limey slowly gets up, as Moxie charges, Limey drops to the floor and Moxie nearly charges into the ref, who was standing in the corner. Limey turns Moxie around, and kicks him quickly in the gut, then hits a swinging neckbreaker. Moxie holds his neck as Limey gets right back up and locks in a Ground Figure-4 Necklock, but is forced to break it after a few second because Moxie’s foot is underneath the ropes>
<Limey kicks Moxie in the shoulder a few times then pulls him up. Moxie staggers a bit, and is only halfway up, when he’s met by a European Uppercut. Moxie drops to his back, and Limey hits a quick elbow drop. Limey pulls Moxie back up, and is met with a punch to the gut. Moxie bounces off the opposite rope and hits a forward roll neckbreaker. Moxie’s smile and smirk has withered away and is replaced by anger and frustration>
CG: That’s the Moxie that everyone knows…
<Limey is lying on his stomach, Moxie mounts him, sitting on his back and locks in Low Ki’s famous Dragon Clutch>
<The ref asks Limey if he wants to give up, and instead of holding the opposite arm of Limey, he hits a few punches and stiff shots to the chest of Limey. Moxie releases the hold, and stares at Limey, kicking him in the gut, sending him over towards the ropes. Moxie holds his hands up, and gets cheered>
JR: Moxie should be following up on this, and not showboating for the crowd!
CG: Exactly JR, if Moxie plans on winning this title, then he better get his head in the game!
<Moxie goes toward Limey, but Limey was playing possum and meets Moxie with 2 fingers to the eyes! Moxie stumbles away, giving Limey time to hit a spear! Multiple punches to the head, and Limey gets up, shouting and the crowd eats it up!>
Crowd: LET’S GO LI-MEY! LET’S GO LI-MEY!
<Limey pulls Moxie up, and hits a stiff clothesline, Limey pulls Moxie right back up, and launches him across the ring into the corner. He meets him with a big shoulder block to the gut in the corner. Moxie is crouched over, and Limey hits another European Uppercut, launching Moxie into the air against the corner. Limey falls away from Moxie and charges into the corner. He hits Moxie with a huge body splash, and Moxie drops to the bottom turnbuckle, lying there. Limey pulls Moxie up onto his feet. Limey hits a body slam to Moxie, and heads to the apron to attempt a Tope Atomico. Moxie, however, scrambles to his feet and hits a shoulder block to Limey, stunning him, but not making him fall. Moxie then applies a front facelock to Limey, and then turns him around, eventually flipping over him with a Whippersnapper to the outside.>
JR: Bah Gawd! How Heinous!
CG: Moxie with a Whippersnapper to the outside! Looks like both men are out cold!
<Limey is out on the outside, and Moxie is lying there as well. The ref starts the count>
1 2 3 4 5 6…
<Moxie is up, and pulls Limey up and back into the ring. The ref stops counting, and Moxie holds the head of Limey. Moxie pulls him up and hits a snap suplex. Moxie holds the move, and rotates, and hits another snap suplex. Moxie continues again, holding, this time, he grasps Limey’s leg and hits a fisherman’s suplex, completing the trifecta>
JR: The snap suplexes and Fisherman’s, a tribute to the late Eddie Guerrero.
1…2… and Limey is able to kickout.
<Moxie walks over to the corner, and Limey gets back up slowly. Moxie charges at Limey and hits a running chop, and Limey drops to his back. Moxie pulls Limey up again, and throws him into the corner turnbuckle. Moxie hits a fierce knife-edge chop, another, and then a big overhead chop, pulsing at the chest of Limey. Limey falls forward and lands on his face>
<Moxie walks over to the ropes, slides out of the ring and goes to the timekeeper>
<Moxie grabs a Microphone from beside the timekeeper>
Moxie: You see that? <breathing heavy>
<Moxie walks up the stairs and into the ring, standing next to Limey>
Moxie: Another chump up, another chump down.
<Moxie kicks the back of Limey, and sits on his back>
Moxie: The likes of you, Limey, you actually thought you had a chance? That’s almost as good as Billy getting laid… or Toom E with an original Idea. <Moxie slaps the back of the head of Limey, and rubs a forearm on the back of his head>
<Moxie then gets up and walks away from Limey…>
Crowd: SHUT THE F*** UP! SHUT THE F*** UP!
Moxie: ‘Cause there have been enough people coming around saying they’re the “real deal”… All these newcomers wanting gold, wanting to be champion. You’re looking at the living legend, youngest hall of famer in EWT history, and soon to be youngest World Champ! Limey, you’re just another belt hole in the legacy of MY World Heavyweight Championshi---
<Limey had enough, he’s gotten back up and charged Moxie, hitting a big German Suplex. Limey mounts Moxie, hits various lefts and rights, and then gets up, shouting.>
Crowd: LET’S GO LI-MEY!!! LET’S GO LI-MEY!!
JR: That Moxie… What a mouth on him!
CG: Most of the stuff he said was true though…
JR: And Limey is showing him what happens when you run your mouth!
<Limey drops and rolls to the outside, grabbing a chair>
<Limey rolls back in with the chair, and as Moxie staggers up, Limey swings!>
JR: Bah gawd!
<Limey misses! Moxie ducked the chairs hot! Limey fumbles a bit, drops the chair! Moxie goes for a standing sidekick, but his leg is caught by Limey, who throws that leg up in the air, and Moxie lands on his stomach. Limey kicks Moxie a bit, focusing on his shoulder. He drapes the chair over Moxie’s chest and shoulder. He hops over the ropes, stands on the apron and hits a Tope Atomico onto Moxie!>
CG: Holy!—
<The crowd erupts as Limey goes for a pin!>
1…..2…. and a near fall!
<Limey gets up, thinking he won, but is shocked and annoyed when he finds out he only got 2. He picks Moxie up again, kicks him in the gut and hits a shoulder breaker. Moxie is aching in pain, as he clenches the left shoulder of his, and Limey kicks him in the back a few times. Limey smirks and pulls Moxie up, and hit’s a Black Widow, but instead of pulling his head down, he wrenches his arm and shoulder, dropping him into a falling armbreaker>
<Moxie is hurting now, and Limey kicks his shoulder, then pulls him up once again. Limey hits a body slam, and locks in an arm lock. Moxie pulls at the hair of Limey, and then rakes his eyes with his open hand. Limey falls back and gives Moxie some time to recuperate. Limey meets Moxie with a dropkick, after Moxie charged. Moxie falls back a bit, but gets back up, running on pure adrenaline. Limey goes for a clothesline, and Moxie ducks, and immediately follows up with a monstrous standing sidekick. Limey stands there, stunned… then falls onto back. Moxie slowly stands there, regains his momentum, and grabs the chair, setting it up in the middle of the ring. Moxie pulls the dazed Limey up, and launches him into the ropes, and dropping him with a drop toe hold onto the chair!>
CG: Oh my! Showing signs of Raven!
JR: Somebody stop this! This is getting out of hand!
<Limey lays there, knocked out, bloody, with his upper body on the seat of the chair, hands draping over and his head barely on the seat.>
<Moxie runs to the parallel ropes, and jumps to the apron. He jumps up onto the top rope…>
CG: OH NO!
JR: BAH GAWD! SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH!
<Moxie lands a springboard leg drop to the body of Limey! Limey’s out, and Moxie is a bit discombobulated. As both lay there, the ref starts the count…
1 2 3 4 5 6 7…
<Moxie rolls over onto Limey, and goes for a pin>
1…2… JR: A nearfall by Moxie onto Limey! What a slobberknocker!
<Moxie slowly gets up and pulls Limey up, pushing him into the corner. Moxie is grappling Limey in the corner, and props him up to the turnbuckle. Moxie then tries a top-rope superplex, but is met with a right hand from Limey, who pushes Moxie backwards, and grabs hold of his ankles, stepping over Moxie's arms, and leaping off the turnbuckle with a top-rope Styles Clash. He then goes for the cover!>
1…2… and a near-fall for Limey!
CG: This is getting insane!
<Limey is in a state of disbelief, and falls back against the ropes as Moxie rises, slowly and painfully. Limey then approaches Moxie, and extends his hand. Moxie stares at Limey for a bit, not forgetting the beat down, and he eventually takes it, and the two pull away and circle each other>
JR: A collar and elbow tie-up… it just became civilized again…
<Moxie gains the upper hand, and locks in a headlock, then rolls around into a hammerlock, he puts his foot forward, pushing Limey down onto his stomach, and releases the arm, but locks in a front chancery>
<Moxie pulls up, and wrenches on the neck of Limey, he releases and locks in a headlock immediately after. Limey slips out, and stands up, as Moxie does the same>
<They lock up again, with Limey getting the upper hand this time. Limey grabs Moxie into a headlock of his own, and rolls forward into a takedown. Moxie grabs Limey’s head with his legs and locks in a Head-Leg-lock, and Limey kicks out of it. Limey and Moxie kip up at the same time, and Moxie hits the charging Limey with an Arm Drag. Moxie charges and is met with an Arm Drag by Limey, and Limey gets up immediately. Moxie lays on the ground, clutching his shoulder. Limey goes to check on Moxie, but Moxie with an inside cradle!>
1….2… and close!
<Limey gets up and stares at Moxie in disbelief, but he gets up, smirks and says “so close…”>
<Limey and Moxie circle a bit more, and as Limey moves in for a grapple, Moxie backs away, his hands in the air. Moxie slides to the outside, and looks underneath the ring for a weapon. Limey stands in the ring, slightly irritated at Moxie’s interest in getting something else, but Limey grabs the chair from inside the ring. Moxie finishes his scavenging and grabs a table, with a big gold $ on it.>
JR: Hmm, a table with a big dollar sign on it… signs of Moxie’s old gimmick, a member of the Million Dollar Corporation.
<Moxie points at the table, and shrugs at the camera. A fan yells at Moxie…>
Fan: Million-Dollar Table!
<Moxie shakes his head no, and fakes a backhand slap at the fan, and turns to face the camera…>
-WHACK!-
JR: Home Run!
CG: Payback’s a B****.
<Limey hits Moxie with the chair, dead on, and the table drops from Moxie’s hands as he falls to his back on the outside. Limey drops the chair and grabs the Million Dollar Table, and sets it up on the outside, between the ring posts. The fans cheer him on…>
Fans: F*** him up, Limez!
Fans: Yeah! F*** Him up!!
<Limey smiles and happily obliges, picking Moxie up, and setting him on his back on the table. He sets the blood stained chair over the body of Moxie, and hops onto the apron. He jumps to the second rope…>
CG: Limey with an Asai Moonsault to Moxie, with the chair on his chest!
JR: Through the table as well!
CG: Limey hurt Moxie, but at what cost?!
<Limey gets back up, slowly, and Moxie lays in the shattered remnants of the table. Limey climbs onto the barricade between the fans and the ring, and dives a headbutt onto Moxie>
<Limey pulls Moxie back up to the apron and rolls him in. He pulls Moxie up, and hits an Exploder Suplex Pin!>
1….2….3!! NO!! only 2, but so close!
<Limey is irate now, and pulls at his head and hair. He kicks Moxie’s shoulder more, and locks in a Fujiwara Armbar, Moxie screams in pain and Limey wrenches the arm up, except Moxie is able to get his hand on the rope> <Moxie lays there holding his arm, and Limey pulls him up again, and kicks him in the gut. Limey goes for a DDT, but is blocked, and Moxie reverses with a Northern Lights Suplex! Moxie rolls backward as well, and pulls Limey up again, and hits another Northern Lights! Moxie rolls backwards again, and hits ANOTHER Northern Lights!>
JR: Triple Northern Lights suplexes in an awkward set by Moxie!
<Moxie stands up and shakes his head, trying to regain his balance, as Limey is tired, and out in the ring. Moxie pulls Limey up, and as Limey goes for a quick clothesline, Moxie ducks and grabs Limey’s arm, hitting a straight-jacket sit-out bomb>
<Moxie pulls Limey up, and Limey kicks him in the gut. Limey puts Moxie into position for a suplex…>
JR: Limey could be going for that devastating Twist ’o Lime!
<Limey attempts a Suplex, but Moxie blocks with his leg. Moxie pulls Limey up and hits a Brainbuster!>
CG: A devastating brainbuster by Moxie, obviously working over the head of Limey for that devastating Super Fisherman’s DDT, The Oracle!
<Moxie rolls Limey over and goes for a pin>
1…2.. and a near-fall on Limey!
<Moxie doesn’t believe it, and pulls Limey up. He throws him into the corner and unleashes a barrage of fists and kicks. He pulls him up to the top rope>
JR: looks like he’s going to attempt a superplex!
<Moxie attempts a lift of Limey, but Limey hits Moxie in the head. Limey stands on the top turn buckle, lifts Moxie up in the air…>
JR: An ENORMOUS feat of strength and balance, both men are up in the vertical suplex position on the top turnbuckle!!
Crowd: PLEASE DON’T DIE!! PLEASE DON’T DIE!!
CG: Limey looks like… OH MY GOD!
<Limey hits Moxie with a Super Twist ‘o Lime!!!>
<The crowd is silent… then…>
Crowd: HOLY S***! HOLY S***!
<Moxie is out, and Limey is out as well, the exertion beat out of them. The ref starts the count again>
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8…
<Limey rolls over onto Moxie…>
1… 2… and a nearfall!
<Limey is bleeding, gushing, and angry. He climbs up to the top as Moxie slowly gets to his feet. Limey is perched up, and awaits Moxie, and Moxie realizes Limey is on top and charges, he hits the top rope and Limey hits his crotch on the turnbuckle. Moxie climbs up to the top of the turnbuckle, wraps Limey’s head under his arm, grabs his leg, and…>
JR: Moxie hit the Oracle! Moxie hit the Oracle!
<Moxie reaches over on Limey and goes for a pinfall…>
1… <Moxie hooks the leg> 2… <Limey is shaking> 3… <Limey nearly kicks out!>
JR: NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!
<Moxie rolls off Limey and raises his hands. Limey rolls out of the ring and is visibly angry. Limey goes to the time keeper and grabs the title belt>
JR: What is Limey doing?!
CG: Limey’s grabbed the title! Looks like he’s about to hit him with it!
<Limey sneaks up behind Moxie, and taps him on the shoulder. Moxie turns around and puts his fists up to defend himself, but Limey stands there, holding the belt up to him. The bloody Limey nods, as Moxie takes it. Moxie nods to Limey, and the two warriors shake hands. Limey drops and rolls out of the ring, as Moxie stands in the ring, your NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION>
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