EWT 1 Year Anniversary Special

[Toom E. Guci]

Good morning ladies & gentlemen & welcome to the 1 Year Anniversary Special for Extreme Wrestlecrap Threaderation.

Who would have thought this garbage would have lasted this long after I interupted a bingo game & took over a bingo hall. And now, look at where we have been. We spent 3 weeks doing shows from Disney Land, including a pay per view that changed the face of Disney & It's a Small World. We did a week of shows from an Atlantic City Casino. As well as historic matches in shopping malls, tornadoes, conveneince stores, on scaffolds, in cages, & a variety of other places.

But now, it is time for you all to join in the festivities & share your favorite EWT memory on this joyous day.

[Ultimo Chocula]

(Ultimo walks up to the podium.)

UC: "The EWT is many things to me. An easy pay check. My spring board into stardom. A place where I can beat up random pears and not get arrested. Yes, yes, the EWT is a wonderful organization.......ever since I merged this baby!" (Holds up the Gene Rayburn Memorial Belt) "Yup. This fed was running in place on empty until I brought over the single greatest title from the BFWWOTPNWAT. Now this is the place to be, thanks to me, glory be, whoopity dee. So here's to another year of the EWT! May my reign as champ be long and awesome! Down the hatch!"

(UC power chugs a Green River and belches before wandering off. One person claps weakly.)


BK: Seriously though, I'm really having fun with this. I'm enjoy reading what other people are doing with their characters. I've always liked creative writing and this is the perfect place for it. Thanks for letting me post here.

[Poker Joker]

(Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark steps up to the microphone. He is sunburnt from his time of being forced to hitchhike through Mexico. Before speaking, he sprays himself with some Solarcaine to treat his burn.)

*BU*: For years I've wanted to be a professional wrestlers! When I was young, I used to gaze up at my bedroom celing... all plastered with posters of hot, swimsuit models... and if I wasn't dreaming about getting one of them in the sack.... which WILL happen one day.... I hope.... I was dreaming about becoming a superstar in the EWT.

After leaving home and training in Mexico, where I was recently so uncerimoniously treated, I came here to EWT to get my chance to make a name for myself. And even though I've been met with a great deal of discrimination by people who think that I am not worthy of being here simply because I'm still a virgin, I've had a great time and savored the opportunity to prove to the world that even a virgin can be a wrestling superstar!.... even if the commissioner is one of the biggots who's holding him down because of his virginity.

Anyways, thank you very much. I look forward to performing for everyone in the future, and remember.... FIGHT VIRGIN DISCRIMINATION!

(Billy steps back from the mic. Commissioner ToomiBischoff walks up behind him and gives Billy a hard pat on his sunburnt back. Billy winces in pain, as he walks off stage.)

[random poster]

mprox: blurred version staggers upto the podium past billy ubermark, spilling sambucca on him which catches light from mprox's lit cigarette which mprox attempts to put out with a blue spray paint can only causing more flames on billy.

bv: damn sorry about that ubermark, well has it really been this long, since toomi and a rag tag bunch of misfit wrestlers, jobbed out so much by a now defunct fed, started up what would become the best damn fed in business today...... i really should have one last match but no, i'll leave it to the young and upcoming stars of tomorrow, so its a year, *pulls out a glass and fills it with jack daniels from a hip-flask* and here's to many more!.
mprox downs the shot of j.d. and staggers off to the bar.

[jzbadblood]

I've been a two time World Champion, and although I haven't really been over with the fans, it's still fun to beat the crap out of people.

[Limey]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I've only been with EWT a very short time, but I've gained a whole lot of memories. Nothing sticks out, though, like the $10,000 Battle Royal at Screaming Sausage'. To even participate in a match like that was an honour. To win it proved that metal is the way, metal is the light, and metal owns you all. To which I thank all of my idols growing up. And now if you don't mind, I'm going to kick back and listen to a random System of a Down song.

(Thanks to everyone, especially psychoapeguy for letting me win that match, and to Maelstrom for beating up Mark Jindrak some more. Everyone here rules.)

[Maelstrom]

*interval*

*We return with Maelstrom making his way to the podium*

M: well I havn't been here long at the EWT . . . but everyday I see someone here who changes the tide for the better. Its a great honour to know I can entertain the Fans here under the EWT banner. Props to Toomi Bishoff for making this all possible. Now if you don't mind I hear the bar calling.

*Maelstrom walks off to the bar . . . on his way he big boots Jindrak through the Fire Exit . . . giving an appreciative nod to Limey before ordering a few drinks for his table. . . . *

[obi]

*obi walks to the podium*

i got an arse!

*moons the crowd*

*leaves*

BK: its been uBer fun, heres to another year!

[THE Dinobot]

David Adams walks up to the podium, to a mix of cheers and jeers.

Adams: Thank you. It's a pleasure to be a part of the EWT. Dispite what I may say on screen, I respect every single one of these boys.
First of all, I must speak for my father. Now, as everyone is full aware of, the only reason I came here in the first place was because of the passing of my father, Marcel. *a light cheer goes to a hige ovation. David smiles* Thank you, he deseves that. My father loved wrestling, it's all he would ever talk about. When he was retired for 6 years, he would talk about it, would get calls to do various indy shows, but he stuck with his guns and stayed retired.....and that was until he came here. He would watch EWT on tv every single time it came on and when I was over at his house or was on the phone, he would talk about this place with such passion. And speaking of passion, it's hard to find anyone with as much passion for the wrestling business then my father, and I'm not just saying that.
I'd like to thank Toomi, ape, and above all, all of you wrestling fans, for it was you that make all of us who we become, you literally make or break us.

Now, as far as I go, it's simple, I love this place. Sure, it's the only place I've ever worked for, and I havn't been here very long, but thus far I'm undefeated, a championship holder, and above all, I'm the people's choice. And unlike others *fake cough *Addy* fake cough* I don't have to be the main event, the last match to be what the people remember.
So, here's to another year of me, doing what I do, and only as I can do it.
Thank you, and a-goodnight.

BK: Whooo-hoooo 1 year!!!

[garyhartsgoatee]

*Pza hits the stage*

Pza: This place is undoubtedly the greatest place i have ever worked... From the biggest "Stars" holding people like myself back... To the littlest boys in the back getting held back. Noone here is undeserving of their spot... I just wish some of them would give someone else a chance to get their spot... But that's not the point... The point is cheers to 1 year... and cheers to many more...
Oh, and I forgot to mention... Obi has an arse

*Obi then runs back to the podium and moons everyone again*


Bk: Seriously though... i've been reading since the beginning, and from interupting a bingo game... to allowing myself to stink up your thread with Destroyer, this has been tons of fun and i hope to be here when this whole thing gets booked into the ground

[The Lach is very tired]

*Spaz approaches the podium.*

S: Wow the EWT is one whole year old what a ride! The only problem with this company is that I'm not The Champ, I damn well should be I am the best in the EWT. But I digress, from Crap-a-mania to Rocky Starts to Mindless Self Indulgent Games the EWT is the place to be here's to another year of the EWT.

[dorf]

*DNN Music Plays*

*Dorf walks up to the podium, clinching his bandaged ribs*

Dorf: Welcome to a special edition of D...N...N.

*crowd boos*

Dorf: What is there to hate about me? I just came here to tell you how I feel right now and this one year anniversary special.

*crowd quiets down*

Dorf: Thank you. Before I'd like to begin, I just want to let you know that I am only 73% healed as I speak, so I may not be ready to return in exactly one month. Rehab sessions have been busy lately so that's why I haven't been frequenting. My ribs are getting a lot better, as is my other injuries.

I came here to do my special DNN episode to save my time and money; thanks to our general manager of EWT...Toomi Bishchoff. Ya see, I thought Bischoff was a kind and loving person, a person that would trust his employees...unlike the WCF where the wrestlers f***ed me in their shower. After that embarassing incident, I needed to leave WCF forever.

That's when I was called to see work done by Toomi Bischoff. My training was a little rusty, but I was the best wrestler ever...hailing from Filthadelphia. Sure, I struggled at first, but I made my way and continued to succeed in EWT. My first 'true' bitter fued was with David Davies. I still to this day hate David Davies. He beat me the last time around...and he will get his just do again.

And speaking of do...

*crowd yells DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

Marcel Adams. He was a great leader and respected man in the history of this sport. It was at a time EWT had a good roster and something was needed to take over the attention. Me and him came up with the Communist idea, since it was time to make EWT suffer. Heiden-Dorf my cousin always wanted an EWT career and I gave him a job for this Communist stable. Our 4th member would become a recent high-school graduate bully...Fuzzy Warble.

Together us 4 ruled the stable scene as we did whatever we want whenever we want...the communist way. It was fine until Davies had a stable of his own, making the Nation of Devastation. Of course, our stable was the better one.

Sadly, the Communist stable is dead now, due to my injuries suffered at MTWThFSSu hands. Fuzzy and newly acquired member Quad A are being trained at Marcel Adams School of Wrestling. They're training has improved, but they don't have current contracts at EWT right now.

One more thing about Marcel Adams. Yea, I saw the tribute move and all...and I got one problem. The Communists and me, Dorf were hardly mentioned. All I saw was of matches and run-ins with MTWThFSSu. There is one person that I can blame for this...and that my friend is you, David Adams. David, doing this to me is not a good start to our friendship...please do not ever forget that I, Dorf helped with Marcel's life and produced an excellent stable from the Communists. Let that be your warning, son.

I can say that EWT has had its ups, downs, and side-to-side motions for Dorf's tenure here for the past seven and a half months. Right now, I'm down...but when I do return, oh yes...the champ is going down. When I return, my shape is going to be in the best shape of my life and I can finally achieve my lifelong dream...becoming a World...Heavyweight...Champion.

*Dorf leaves to boos from the audience*

[curtrok]

*The lights go out*

JR: Oh what now?

*Curtrok appears in the bleechers in face paint with a baseball bat*

CR: It's been a great year. Take a look at the contributions Curtok has made to the thread industry.

*A clip plays of Curtrok destroying EWT WCW and NBO superstars.

Botchberg's streak and clips of the botchhammmer play.

Megatron v Megatron feud promo plays.

Camelot Extreme trailer plays.

The crowd is tired from cheering some of their favorite moments.

Break.*

[*"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot]

*A-Bomb approaches the podium along with Stevie Richards*

*Crowd Cheers*

A-Bomb:Thank you. When I started here in the EWT my job was to run this place out of business and to bring my tag team partner DSR back to the WCF. Well...when I set foot in here I felt something...I felt the freedom to express myself...the freedom to do anything I wanted. In the WCF I it all I had the money, women, the fame, but there was one thing missing, happiness. In the WCF I couldn't wow the crowd with exciting moves, I couldn't have hard fought matches. Then when I came here and was forced to wrestle I felt freedom....I felt true happiness. I even snuck back here under a mask and the name Mr Blacula just to wrestle, until I was traded here in the draft.

Before I came here I wasn't s***. I was a member of a legendary tag team and an nBo member.*crowd boos* It was an honor but besides that I was a joke. I was a big green hoss that was overlooked in the WCF. I made my name here, by shedding my blood and tears, by giving my all. I TRUELY became a star when I set foot in the EWT. I have experienced pain, sadness, joy, and even love....not just from my beautiful wife Stevie but from the boys in the back, and the fans. I love you guys and thank you. Here's to another year.*raises hand as the fans cheer*

[Redneck Woman]

*Miss RedneckWoman steps up to the podium in her tight dress that bearly covers*
While I have not yet had my first match in this federation, I know that this great organization has a rich history. I see a future for the EWT with the Women's World Order running things. And that means me as the Girl Next Door champion. So here's to another year of the EWT.

[barbwireharry]

* Barbwire Harry walks on stage with his barbwire bat*

BH:I can't say that I have been here at EWT long but I have watched for a while, and I really enjoy being here so heres to another year * Takes a shot of wiskey and walks off and beats Mark Jindrak senseless with the barbwire bat and walks of smiling heading to the bar*

[Banned Member]

*Merc walks up to the podium with Trish*

Merc: Well what can I say cept ***k you all!!!!!! All you guys hold me down!!!!!! Well that will change believe me it will!

[curtrok]

:: A video clip of Botchberg plays::

BB: Well its been such a whrilwind for me think about it. Wrestlecrap spoofs pro wrestling. Then they had a message board where these guys called the NBO spoofed Wrestlecrap. Then this guy made the EWT to spoof the NBO. So here we are a spoof of a spoof of a spoof and we are the hottest thing in wrestling entertainment today.

I only have one thing to say about all the workers that I used to work with and that's BLEARG!

[Millie D]

Mia Speaks Out

I came here not too long ago and I did pretty well.. I won the Girl Next Door Championship and was put out of action twice..I have to say that meeting Heiden-dorf was a wonderful memory and would have been an even better one if i was not fighting a sandwich for him BUT recently I have met a guy that will help me become a more better wrestler and he did so last weekend at the NRFTW PPV..he helped me seek revenge and I hope that he will help me win the title..so Thank you Merc for everything thus far and its only the beginning! So Cheers EWT and here is to many more MIA memories!

[whoopdeedoo]

[WDD steps up]

One year huh? I've only been around EWT for a couple of months, but already, I've seen why it's the biggest Threaderation in the world. I've been in a lot of promotions in my life, but EWT takes the cake. The backstage environment is amazing, as well as the booking. I gotta say that EWT has changed my life. Thanks EWT.

Oh yeah, death to Theo Rumm.