EWT SCREAMING SAUSAGE MAYHEM

[ape]

yes....the time has come....let the screaming sausage mayhem begin, kiddies....

[ape]

Some Sort of Title Match
Mystery Opponent (champion) vs. Obi

*obi walks to the ring and bounces off the ropes, warming up for his upcoming title match. after a few moments, on a the toomitron, the camera fades into toomi bischoff's office. it's a complete mess. words like pain, die, and bleed are carved into the walls...there are papers everywhere. the furnature is all turned over. in the middle of it all is psychoapeguy who begins to speak.*

ape - obi...i told you that you would have a title match tonight...and i kept my promise....obi....tonight, you will face.....me.

*psychoapeguy smiles and holds up his home-made version of the tag team titles that he carried around when teaming with jz*

ape - ....i don't like it when people ask for title shots....i do...however....like it when people....bleed hehe....

*ape laughs on the toomitron, and obi looks on with a look of concern. before the image of ape fades from the screen, psychoapeguy sneaks up from behind obi with a shard of broken glass and locks him in a headlock, grinding the glass into obi's skull. obi screams in pain and the ape squeals with joy as blood begins to quickly pour from obi's skull. after a minute, the ape lets go of obi and walks over to the corner. he sits down in the fetal position and rocks back and forth, carving away at his left arm with the shard of glass.

a bloody obi sees this as an opportunity and quickly runs to ape and hits a dropkick to ape's face, sending the back of his skull into the turnbuckle. obi quickly grabs ape and picks him up, planting him with a brainbuster. he goes for the cover. 1...2...kickout. obi runs off the ropes and hits a big elbow drop to ape, then lifts him up again and attempts a piledriver. ape blocks it and hits a big low blow on obi. obi drops to his knees, and ape grabs obi's bloody face and begins to bite at the open wound created from the glass. after he's done biting obi, ape looks up at the crowd, with blood pouring from his mouth and spits the blood at folks in the front row.

ape looks around like a madman and rolls out of the ring. the ape pulls up the apron and pulls something from underneath the ring. after a few seconds, ape re-appears with a screwdriver...the ape rolls back into the ring and grabs the head of a dazed obi. the ape lifts his arm into the air. the referee steps in and threatens to disqualify psychoapeguy if he does any more. the ape slowly puts his arm down, then quickly lifts it back up and drives the screwdriver down into the skull of obi. the referee calls for the bell, but psychoapeguy lifts his arm again. the referee tries to grab the screwdriver from psychoapeguy. the ape lets go of obi for a moment, kicks the referee in the gut and plants him down hard with a ddt. he then walks back over to obi and raises the arm with the screwdriver again, but before any more damage can be done, officials flood out from the back and drag obi out of the ring. they help a heavily bleeding obi walk to the backstage area...and psychoapeguy stands in the ring with the bloody screwdriver still raised above his head as if he were still ready to stab obi one more time. obi's blood still drips from his mouth as he begins laughing to himself with an evil look covering his face.*

Here is your winner via disqualification: Obi

[ape]

Spaz vs. Botchberg
Rules: All-Weapons Legal for Botchberg, If Spaz uses them, he's disqualified. Curtok banned from ringside.

as we come back from the promo, both competitors are in the ring. the ring is littered with weapons. botchberg walks around the ring trying to figure out which weapon he wants. as he goes to lift a chair, spaz runs from behind and plants botchberg with a rocker dropper, sending his skull into the steel. he quickly leaps onto botchberg hoping to get a quick win. 1....2...kickout. spaz quickly picks up botchberg and hits him with the down under ddt. another cover. 1...2...kickout again. spaz picks botchberg up again and irish whips him off the ropes. he leap frogs over botchberg. then botchberg bounces back towards spaz he's met with a back elbow, staggering the big man. spaz then propels himself off the ropes and attempts a big lariat. botchberg ducks and hits a big lariat of his own to the back of spaz's neck before spaz can turn around. botchberg shakes the cobwebs out of his head and again, goes to grab a weapon. he grabs a garbage can lid. as spaz gets up, the lid gets molded over spaz's skull.

botchberg poses and backs up, as he waits for spaz to get up, he grabs a garbage can. as spaz gets to his feet, botchberg tosses the garbage can at spaz, spaz takes it to the gut and catches it. botchberg charges and hits spaz with a BIG spear into the garbage can. spaz looks as if he's out, but the garbage can also took it's toll on botchberg, who's slow to get to his feet. botchberg stumbles over to spaz and makes the cover. 1...2...spaz barely kicks out. botchberg, still dazed, picks up spaz, but spaz quickly falls backwards onto his back and kicks both of his feet into botchberg's crotch, sending the big man down very quickly. spaz grabs botchberg and hits the shockwave. 1...2....barely a kickout. spaz looks at the referee in disbelief.

he clutches his ribs, probably still hurting from the spear and lifts botchberg up, throwing him to the turnbuckle. spaz nails a bunch of knife-edge chops on botchberg. after a few chops, botchberg begins to no-sell. spaz continues to throw chops, and bothberg only seems to grow angrier. spaz goes for one more knife-edge but botchberg ducks under it and grabs spaz, lifting him up botchberg takes a step forward and t-bone suplexes spaz into the turnbuckle. spaz is hurt, and botchberg screams and poses for the crowd. botchberg picks up spaz and hits a big jackhammer. 1....2....barely a kickout.

botchberg quickly get to his feet and lifts the referee up by the shirt, arguing with the count. after the referee begins to warn botchberg, botchberg lets go and the referee drops to the canvas. botchberg picks spaz up and places him on the top turnbuckle. botchberg climbs the ropes and signals for another jackhammer. he lifts spaz up, but spaz rakes botchberg in the eyes. spaz then stands on the top rope, pulling botchberg up. spaz hits a few forearms to the back of botchberg's skull then lifts him up and plants botchberg in the center of the ring with a HUGE super shockwave, causing all the weapons in the ring to bounce at least three feet into the air from the impact. after a few moments, spaz crawls over and covers botchberg, hooking both legs. 1....2.....3.

Here is your winner: Spaz

[ape]

EWT Tri-State championship
Heiden-Dorf (champion) vs. Moxie

*The music of Moxie plays as he struts down to the ramp no problem and enters the ring fine*

*The music of Heiden-Dorf plays as he struts down to the ramp no problem and enters the ring fine*

*The ref takes the EWT Tri-State title off of Heiden-Dorf and raises it to the crowd showing its the title on the line. After the ref raised the belt, the timekeeper rings the bell to start the match. They lock up. Heiden-Dorf pushes Moxie to one corner of the turnbuckles. Heiden-Dorf attempts to punch Moxie, but Moxie ducked and crawled underneath Heiden-Dorf. Moxie immediately gave right punches to Heiden-Dorf's back. Heiden-Dorf seemed to be not affect whatsoever. Heiden-Dorf turned around with a viscious, clubbing clothesline to Moxie. Heiden-Dorf attempts to pin Moxie and does, but Heiden-Dorf only got a 2 count. Heiden-Dorf then stood up and stopped into his trance state once more.*

Heiden-Dorf: CHEESE SANDWICH?! He is...the one? Yes, CHEESE SANDWICH...me will...dismantle Moxie.

*Heiden-Dorf's trance stopped and it looks like as if he turned into Snitsky gone mad. He's yelling and grunting at Moxie to get up as Heiden-Dorf is signaling the end of Moxie. He sets Moxie up into the inverted powerbomb and about half-way into the move, Moxie starts pounding Heiden-Dorf preventing the finish of the move. Moxie kept punching Heiden-Dorf's head, until he broke free, but Heiden-Dorf caught Moxie in mid-air. Heiden-Dorf shaked his head 'no' to Moxie. Heiden-Dorf then did a stiff inverted atomic drop to Moxie. After that, Heiden-Dorf signaled the end again of Moxie. Then, all of a sudden the lights go out.*

*10 seconds later a cheese sandwich is on the Toomitron hovering in front of Heiden-Dorf's little mind. 5 seconds later, the cheese sandwich stopped spinning and the lights came back on. When the lights turned back on Moxie was ready to finish Heiden-Dorf and delievers the Black Dragon DDT. Accidently, when Heiden-Dorf saw the cheese sandwich twirling on the Toomitron, he took out the ref. So another ref came running down the ring, to make the pin for the count.*

*The ref counted 1................2.............HEIDEN-DORF KICKS OUT!*

*Moxie is pissed. He knew he won the title that he onced loved. So, the next 'smart' thing Moxie did was the Texas Cloverleaf, that BAH GAWD horrible submission. Heiden-Dorf screams in pain as his hamstring and back hurt like hell. Heiden-Dorf crawled to the ropes pretty fast, due to his hoss-like weight and structure. Moxie is still pissed off. He has a fire in his eye that he wants to take out the ref right now.*

*Moxie lets Heiden-Dorf get up at the corner. Moxie then runs at Heiden-Dorf and delivers a Stinger Splash. Moxie is giving another try as he attempts to do the double underhook neckbreaker. Moxie tried and somehow Heiden-Dorf blocked the attempt with all his weight. Heiden-Dorf counters with a back body drop.*

*Heiden-Dorf then covers out of nowhere. 1........MOXIE KICKS OUT AND MAKES A LITTLE PIN...a tight package*

*1.......................2.............................3!*

Winner: And new EWT Tri-State Champion....Moxie!

*The ref that was knocked out somehow was out of daze and saw that Heiden-Dorf won the match with Moxie's shoulders down. The ref's continue to argue what just happened as well as Heiden-Dorf and Moxie. The arguments could not be settled, until Interim General Manager Ape's music blasted throughout the arena.*

Ape: ...I don't like you....And I don't like you....I don't want either one of you with the belt...So, neither of you get it. The title is vacant...Hehe...There shall be a tournament held for the title...The Sulfur Rush Tournament...Uncle Toomi can decide who he wants in it...But I'm hoping it's neither of you....Unless...The winner gets to face me...In which case...The winner....Will bleed....In which case....I want you guys in it....Hehe...Anyway, have a nice day...Friends.... *Ape leaves the ring with an evil smirk on his face*

*Moxie and Heiden-Dorf leave the ring (not at the same time) pissed. They worked hard for nothing. Cameras go somewhere else*
(credit for this match goes to dorf for typing it up.)

[ape]

$10,000 10-Man Old School Rules Battle Royal
Rules: Piledrivers, Jumping from the top rope, and Throwing your opponent over the top rope all result in a disqualification. Everything else is legal. Over the top eliminations DO count, though if someone throws their opponent over the top, they get eliminated as well. Pinfalls and submissions can also cause eliminations. The winner recieves $10,000.
Competitors in the Battle Royal: David Adams, Ultimo Chocula, Pza, Maelstrom, Cue Paul, Billy Ubermark, Limey, Bob, HBH, and Gasoline

all 10 men are in the ring and the match gets underway. pza immediately attacks ultimo chocula. he pummels chocla with some wicked right hands, then locks his arms around chocula's waist and delivers three locomotion german suplexes, releasing chocula during the third german. he then grabs chocula and tosses him over the top rope and to the outside. referees quickly jump into the ring and inform pza that he has been disqualified. ELIMINATION: Pza

an angry pza screams "it's a battle royal!" at the referees. he then slides to the outside and rams the back of chocula's skull into the steel guard rail, knocking him out cold. since he was thrown over the top rope, ultimo too, is eliminated. ELIMINATION: Ultimo Chocula

cue paul and bob battle it out in the corner. bob tries to out wrestle cue paul, and successfully does so. however, when bob walks away, cue paul grabs a pool stick he brought with him to ringside and cracks it upside bob's skull, sending him down to the mat. he quickly goes for a cover on bob. 1....2....3. ELIMINATION: Bob

hbh and gasoline double team maelstrom on the opposite side of the ring. david adams bounces off the opposite ropes and nails hbh in the back of the skull with a dropkick, sending him over the top to the floor. the referees deem hbh going over the top rope an accident, and adams is not disqualified. hbh, however, gets eliminated. ELIMINATION: HBH

david adams backs up as an angry gasoline knees adams to the gut repeatedly, forcing adams against the ropes. gasoline bounces off the opposite ropes and dives at adams, but adams ducks and gasoline lands on the top rope. the rope bounces gasoline up and over the top, causing gasoline to eliminate himself accidentally. ELIMINATION: Gasoline

billy ubermark is down from a brawl with limey. cue paul struts over with his pool stick, lays down on the mat and pretend's ubermark's face is a cueball, and tries to pocket ubermark's skull. seeing this, limey stomps paul's hands, grabs the pool stick and breaks it over cue paul's skull. he then poses for the audience and stomps both ubermark and paul. maelstrom and david adams are brawling on the other side of the ring. maelstrom overpowers adams and gorilla presses him over his head. he is about to eliminate adams, but remembers the over the top rope disqualification rule. he then backs up and drops adams throat first on the top rope, causing adams to bounce back into the ring. maelstrom gives the sign for the whirlpool and lifts adams put and sets him up for the spinning powerbomb, but when maelstrom lifts him, adams slides out of it into a sunset flip. adams locks his legs over maelstrom's arms and grabs the ropes as the referee counts. 1....2....kickout. Maelstrom gets up right away and hits Adams with a big chokeslam. Suddenly, the lights dim in the arena and a silhouette of a man is standing in the isleway. The man is wearing a ring, which is shining very brightly. The brightness seems to intensify more and more, blinding Maelstrom, who staggers backwards over the rope as he tries to shield his eyes from the light. as soon as maelstrom is eliminated, the lights go back to normal and the silhouette disappears. ELIMINATION: Maelstrom

as david adams tries to get to his feet, limey lifts up cue paul and hits the twist of lime on cue paul on the opposite part of the ring. he immediately goes for a cover. 1....2....3. ELIMINATION: Cue Paul

billy ubermark whips david adams off the ropes and attempts a clothesline, david adams ducks it and bounces off the opposite ropes. as ubermark waits for adams, limey sneaks up from behind and gets ready for a russian legsweep. as he executes the legsweep, adams leaps into the air and hits a big lariat on ubermark at the same time. limey goes for the cover. 1....2...adams pulls limey off and covers ubermark himself with a handful of tights. limey gets up with his hands on his hips and just stares at adams as the ref counts. 1.....2.....3. ELIMINATION: Billy Ubermark

david adams raises his hand in the air in a cocky fashion and turns around right into a yakuza kick from limey. limey proceeds to bludgeon adams with rapid right hands. he grabs a piece of cue paul's shattered pool stick and begins to choke david adams with it.he then lifts adams up and, with the pool stick piece on adams' neck, plants him down with a big sto and goes for the cover. 1...2..barely a kickout. limey looks over at the turnbuckle, then tosses adams into the buckle. he punches adams a few times, then lifts him up onto the top rope. limey gives a signal for a top-rope twist of lime. as he takes this time, adams hits a low blow out of desperation and hits his father's old finisher, the crowning achievement, a devastating piledriver from the top turnbuckle. officials rush into the ring to check on limey, who appears to be out cold. the bell rings and david adams stumbles to his feet, raising his arms with a big smile on his face. one of the referees walks over and throws adams' arms down and raises the arm of an unconscious limey. adams shoves the referee. a second referee goes over and explains what happened to the ring announcer, who tells the crowd that david adams has been disqualified for using a piledriver., thus, your winner of the match is limey. an angry adams, grabs his title belt and walks away with his arms in the air claiming that he was the real winner. ELIMINATION: David Adams

Here is your winner and $10,000 richer: Limey

[ape]

EWT Tag Team championship
JzBadblood & Ape Love (champions) vs. Joel and Mike - The Nyrds

The bell rings and Ape Love faces off against Mike. They go to lock up, but Ape dodges backwards and dances. Mike trys to tackle him and he moves, sending Mike head first into the turnbuckle. Ape watches him fall to the mat and he stomps him repeadedly, dancing in between each boot to the face. Mike grabs Ape's leg and trips him to the mat. He stands to his feet and leaps for an impressive looking elbow drop into his back. Ape screams in pain and Mike picks him up. He falls back into the ropes, but Mike hammers away at him. He finally lets off of Ape for one second, and in that time Ape jumps over to tag Jz. He gets into the ring slowly, and is met with a knee to the face halfway there. Jz falls off the apron and smashes against the floor. Mike takes this time to tag Joel. Ape Love is outside the ring, giving Jz a piece of turkey and helping him up. Jz slides into the ring and is yet again stopped by the Nyrds who stomp him. Ape Love jumps onto the apron and reaches into the ring, smashing both of their heads together Three Stooges style! Mike and Joel stumble back into the referee, who grabs Mike and sends him to the apron. Joel argues with the ref and while he's distracted Jz blasts him in the side of the head with a hard elbow. Joel takes the hit and falls back into the turnbuckle, where Jz proceeds to open a can or two with about 20 fast continous blows to the head. The referee pulls him away, threatening a disqualification. Jz mocks him and takes Joel by the head, tossing him into the turnbuckle near Ape Love. He then tags in his partner and they double team Joel until Mike comes from behind Jz and throws him outside of the ring. He then follows. As they fight outside, Ape continues to stomp Joel in the chest. He then picks him up from a sitting postion and delivers a suplex. He pins him.

1
2
Kickout!

A basic manuever like that won't get the job done, and Ape casually picks Joel back up and slams him back to the mat with a ddt!

1
2
Kickout again!

Ape Love grabs Joel by the head and stand him up. He punches him once, dances a little bit, sends another shot to the skull, and dances one final time before kicking Joel in the gut and smashing him in the face with his knee. Jz is thrown into the ring by Mike and Ape turns to help his partner up. The referee goes over to Mike who is trying to get into the ring, and Joel gives Ape Love a low blow! Ape crumbles to the mat and Jz tackles Joel. Mike finally walks back over to his corner as Jz punches Joel in the face. Ape strangly rolls out of the ring and the ref is trying to get Jz out of there. Ape walks over to the barricade and takes a chair from a fan. Jz and the ref are arguing and Joel slides over into the corner to get the hell away from the chair weilding Ape Love, who smashes the chair against Jz's back. The ref moves away in shock as Ape beats the hell out of Jz with the steel chair! Jz trys to get away, but Ape keeps hitting him in the head as blood sprays from his cranium. The Nyrds stand in their corner frightened and Ape Love goes over to his corner where he sits in fetal position. Joel watches Ape, abd walks over to the beaten Jz and pins him.

1
2
3!!
Here are your new EWT Tag Team Champions of the World....The Nyrds!!

They take their newly won titles and quickly exit the ring area. Ape pays no attention to any of this and he suddenly gets out of the fetal position. He jumps over to Jz and shakes him, trying to revive his tag team partner. Ape Love pulls out some turkey and feeds it to Jz, who sits up and looks at Ape in shock. He stands up and Ape Love gets up from his knees, trying to help Jz. He wants none of it, and pushes Ape back. As if he didn't know, Ape Love stares at Jz in complete shock as his tag team parnter picks up the steel chair. Ape walks over with the pack of turkey and gets a direct stiff shot to the cranium. Ape Love falls to his back and Jz picks him back up. Barely able to stand Ape wobbles on his feet and Jz pulls back with all his might, delvering the chair to Ape's skull yet again. The referee gets out of the ring, and EMTs start to come out, but Jz glares at them and they stop in the middle of the ramp in shock when he reaches under the ring for a table. Jz in a rage also digs under the ring for something else to hurt Ape with. He pulls out a bottle of something. Ape Love stares past the blood to see Jz setting up the table, and angrily pouring the liquid from the bottle onto the flammable surface. Ape Love sits up as Jz throws a match onto the table, and it catches fire. Even Jz is astounished, and he climbs into the ring. Ape Love gets to his knees and Jz throws him into the turnbuckle. He grabs the chair and tosses it at Ape, and it hits him in the face. Ape Love then falls down, but Jz picks him back up and forces him to the top turnbuckle. Jz climbs up with him. Barely able to balance Jz puts Apes head in between his legs and throws him from his shoulders all the way to the flaming table, which Ape spikes head first into. The EMTs rush down to Ape Love, who is now lying in a flaming heap of blood and broken table pieces. Jz jumped off of the turnbuckle when Ape hit, and he is now standing in the middle of the ring, half concious, with blood pouring down his face, holding the bloody steel chair over his head. The fans stare in awe.
(credit for this match goes to jz for typing it up)

[ape]

EWT World Heavyweight championship
Addy Bomb (champion) vs. Stevie Richards

*Stevie’s music hits the arena and he walks down to the ring with a serious look on his face. Stevie climbs into the ring and sits on the turnbuckle. Addy’s music hit the arena and the Beta Male walks out carrying the regular EWT Championship to both boos and cheers. A-Bomb climbs into the ring and walks around looking serious. The two stare each other down as the ref calls for the match to begin.

A-Bomb and Stevie face off and circle around the ring. Stevie quickly locks up with A-Bomb. Stevie pushes A-Bomb into the corner. A-Bomb pushes Stevie down onto the mat and then charges at Richards. Stevie trips A-Bomb with a drop toe hold and rolls it into a pin for a 1 count. A-Bomb gets up furious and charges at Stevie moves out the way and Addy stops at the corner of the ring. Addy hops on the top rope and back flips over Richards. Richards leaps off of the second turnbuckle with a crossbody splash onto A-Bomb. A-Bomb pushes Richards off of his chest. Stevie stalks the Beta Male as he is getting up and goes for a dropkick at A-Bomb leg. Addy steps over and picks up Richards as he is on the mat and drops him with a full nelson slam. Addy legdrops Richards and sits on him for a 1 ½ count. Addy grabs Richards by the hair and is hit with an elbow to the gut. Richards leaps up with a hurricurana causing A-Bomb to fly over the top rope onto the floor. Richards runs and dives over the ropes with a crossbody tope’. The Beta Male catches Richards and walks around carrying him.

Addy motions for the fans to move…A-Bomb tosses Richards into the crowd with a fallaway slam. The fans begin to chant*EWT*. A-Bomb climbs over the barricade and blocks a chairshot from Richards. A-Bomb snatches the chair and clocks Stevie over the head. The two walk through the crowd brawling back and forth. Stevie whips A-Bomb into the barricade and charges at him with a chair. The Beta Male flips Stevie over the rail and hits a moonsault off of the barricade onto the standing Richards. A-Bomb climbs onto the apron and springs off of the ropes. Stevie side steps and Addy eats rail. Richards follows up with a reverse Russian legs sweep onto the rail slamming Addy throat first. A fan hands Stevie a chair and he bust A-Bomb over the back with it. A dazed A-Bomb stumbles over to the ring steps. He turns around and punches Richards in the gut and suplexes him onto the floor. A-Bomb picks Stevie up and throws him into the ring. Addy hops over the ropes and springs off of the second rope with a moonsault onto Stevie for a 2 count.

A-Bomb picks Richards up and slams him down with a powerslam. A-Bomb slowly climbs the top rope. Stevie gets up and racks A-Bomb on the ropes. He climbs the top rope and superplexes Addy into the ring into a rollover pin getting a 2 count. The two lay on the mat and get up slowly. They both make it to their feet and begin trading punches. Stevie is getting the best of Addy when ducks a right hook and locks on a full nelson. Richards slowly fades away and the ref begins to count. The fans start to clap and Stevie is revived. Richards makes it to his feet and Addy forces him into a powerbomb position. Addy sets up and begins to run towards the center of the ring Stevie reverses it into a DDT spiking A-Bomb head first. Stevie picks A-Bomb up and hits a tiger driver. A-Bomb kicks out at 2 ½. Stevie goes outside of the ring and pulls a table, a ladder, and a kendo stick from under the apron. A-Bomb leans over the second rope and grabs Richards by the hair. Richards hits A-Bomb in the face with the kendo stick busting his forehead open. Richards sets up and table and grabs another from under the ring. A-Bomb baseball slides and knocks Stevie into the rail. A-Bomb hits a scissors kick on Richards. A-Bomb sets up the second table and pushes Stevie onto it. A-Bomb turns to set up the ladder. A-Bomb turns around and is hit with a superkick knocking him out. Stevie drags A-Bomb onto the table and climbs into the ring and up the top turnbuckle. Stevie dives off of the top rope with a Swanton Bomb onto Addy. The fans chant*holy s***! As the two lie motionless for a minute. A-Bomb is the first to get up surprisingly he climbs into the ring and rests against the ropes. Richards makes it to his feet and rolls into the ring. A-Bomb charges at Richards for a POOOOOOUNNNCE’UH…Steven side steps and Addy comes running back off of the ropes. Stevie hits a flatliner on A-Bomb face first into a steel chair. The ref counts 1…2…A-Bomb lifts his shoulder off of the canvas. Richards is shocked and furious, he begins to stalk A-Bomb…Richards sets up for a superkick the Beta Male ducked it. Stevie turns around and is slammed down hard with a tone bone suplex. A-Bomb climbs the top rope and nails a picture perfect splash onto Stevie for a 1…2…no he kicked out. A-Bomb grabs Stevie and tosses him out of the ring.

A-Bomb leaps off of the apron with a flip splash and is hit in the back with a kendo stick in mid air. Stevie motions for A-Bomb to get up and swings the stick. A-Bomb grabs it with his hand and busts Richards over the head causing him to bleed. A-Bomb grabs a table and sets it up in the ring. Stevie grabs another ladder. He climbs onto the apron and rams his shoulder into A-Bomb’s gut then pulls him out to the apron and drives him to the floor with a double arm DDT. Stevie sets up the ladder right outside of the ring and sits the other ladder in between the rungs of the standing ladder. He lays Addy on the second ladder and begins to climb to the top. Stevie is half way up the ladder….A-Bomb wakes up and begins to run up the ladder….Stevie is at the top. In one swift motion A-Bomb grabs Stevie neck first and dives off of the ladder with a Bomb Drop into the ring through the table. The fans begin to chant holy s*** and EWT at the carnage*. Addy covers Richards 1…2…3! Paramedics begin to rush to the ring, as both men lay motionless.

Announcer: And still the reigning EWT Champion…The Beta Male Addy Bomb!

*Both men begin to show signs of life, as they are rolled onto their stretchers. The fans give both men a stand ovation as they are rolled out of the arena side by side. *
(credit for this match goes to a-bomb for typing it up)

[Toom E. Guci]

*Toomi Bischoff arrives in a limosuine & gets out on crutches. He hobbles to the ring at the end of the pay per view as the fans are shocked & amazed to see his official return. Bischoff grabs the microphone.*

What the f*** is going on here? Today marks the 1 year anniversary of EWT & this is the kind of crap I see? Ape, ape...get yer ass out to this ring NOW!!!

*psychoapeguy makes his way to the ring & climbs in.*

pag: Uncle Toomi, I am so glad you're back....do you like what I did for you? Do you like how I showed everybody what I could do?

TB: You know what ape? Running a company is a hard job. And I know you can handle hard jobs & like hard jobs. Thing is ape, I had faith in you, which is why I chose you. And you know what?

pag: What Uncle Toomi?

TB: YOU LET ME DOWN!!!! Who the f*** do you think you are to give those Nyrds a title shot? And now, thanks to your incompetence, not only are they tag team champions, but now we don't have a Tri-State Champion. You no good, one eyed freak have ruined EVERYTHING in EWT. You broke up the best damn tag team to have a championship match for crying outloud.

pag: But, Uncle Toomi....

TB: Don't Uncle Toomi me because I am not your damn uncle. I would never be your uncle. If I was your uncle, I would have myself shot in the head then kill the sibling that created you & they would be rolling over in their grave at this mess you have made. As of now, Toomi Bischoff is back & in charge. You, psychoape, are stripped of your authority. In fact.....YOU'RE FIRED!!!

pag: But...but....but....

TB: Security, have this man escorted out of my arena.

*Security comes to the ring & escorts a saddened psychoapeguy, who leaves the ring with a tear in his good eye as if he's lost a puppy. Toomi Bischoff stands in the ring & pulls something out of his pocket. He looks at it & takes a great big bite out of it & starts to eat it. Bischoff drops the food on the apron & smashes the food, as the camera zooms in & sees it's a piece of cheese, the pay per view fades to black.*