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Post by Baron Von Bullshit on Mar 4, 2005 23:55:51 GMT -5
The scene opens in the parking lot, where an old beat up station wagon is backfiring and putting along. The wooden panels are broken and splintered and the metal frame is rusting away. The station wagon comes to a stop and the driver door is opened. It immediately falls off however, as a man dressed in a linty limo driver suit-thing steps out. He opens the backdoor of the station wagon to a loud and very grinding creak. Out steps a man dressed in black track pants with holes all over, and a ripped t-shirt. He looks around, waving the greasy and grungy hair out of his eyes, his smile wide.
Da Crapper: "Home!"
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 5, 2005 0:22:00 GMT -5
I've received permission from Madison to give this thread a sticky so it stays on top, never to be searched for again.
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Post by Baron Von Bullshit on Mar 5, 2005 0:39:43 GMT -5
Da Crapper struts in to Toomi's house, walking up to his bed and pulling a megaphone out of his pants. He turns it on and shouts...Da Crapper: TOOMI! LONG TIME NO SEE! Toomi is startled and he leaps up and then falls on the floor. Toomi picks himself up and sees the grinning jobber.Toomiguci: THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! Da Crapper: I.. uh... Toomiguci: I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO FIRE YOU! Da Crapper: Well, I'm not hired! Toomiguci: well... you're hired! Da Crapper: Toomiguci: NOW you're fired! Da Crapper: Toomiguci: Toomiguci: Fine, you're hired. Da Crapper: ;D Toomiguci: Anyway, what'da want? Da Crapper: I want your job while you go to Disney land! **OOC: Sorry if this is rude or what not, I'm new to your guys version of wrestling rping, just correct me or something.**
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 5, 2005 0:42:33 GMT -5
Geeze Crapper....I'm not even leaving until June.
And it's only going to be 3 days, 4 nights.
When the time comes, I will have one hell of a major announcement!!!!
Now, get out of here & get some new clothes. Those old rags smell like shit.
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Post by Baron Von Bullshit on Mar 5, 2005 0:43:50 GMT -5
But Toomi, that's my fragrance.. its called... le poop.
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Post by THE Dinobot on Mar 5, 2005 0:50:51 GMT -5
BK: That was pretty funny, Crapper
BiK: Marcel: So, it's official, psychoapeguy advances and it's he and myself in the second round.
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Post by Toom E. Guci on Mar 5, 2005 0:54:41 GMT -5
*Toomi walks up to Marcel.*
I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth.
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Post by Baron Von Bullshit on Mar 5, 2005 0:56:31 GMT -5
*walks up to Toomi* Da Crapper: Toomiguci: *pokes Toomi* Toomiguci: Da Crapper: I want the World Title! Toomiguci: ... No. Da Crapper: Please? Toomiguci: ... no. Da Crapper:
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Post by hkk on Mar 5, 2005 0:56:38 GMT -5
Is the EWT a serious fed or a joke, because I need to know or else my promos will be very confusing.
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Post by THE Dinobot on Mar 5, 2005 0:59:56 GMT -5
*Marcel opens up a dictionary and points to the word 'Official'
Marcel: See this..official. Just like apeguy and myself for the second round. You dont like that, you might as well cancel your whole tournament, because this will be the best match to ever grace a EWT ring.
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Post by Baron Von Bullshit on Mar 5, 2005 1:01:09 GMT -5
*Da Crapper notices the camera*
Da Crapper: Hey! I think I'm gonna stand in the corner and pick my butt, don't want to get involved in this seriousness!
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Post by DSR on Mar 5, 2005 1:26:22 GMT -5
A little of both, actually. I generally do serious promos and stuff, but there are goofy folks on here, too.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 5, 2005 1:59:09 GMT -5
Ignore this post. I'm a turd burglar.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Mar 5, 2005 1:59:38 GMT -5
*Spaz is seen leaving the EWT Gym drinking some water when he bumps into Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark.*
BU: Sorry Sir.
S: Watch Out! Hey I saw your match before, you got potential kid, but you need alot of work.
BU: Thanks Sir.
S: Call me Spaz.
BU: Ok Spaz.
S: Tell you what, if you need any pointers on working out, cutting promos, getting laid or kicking ass in that ring come & find me I'll give you some pointers.
BU: Thanks Spaz but why do you wanna help me out?
S: Coz a while ago i was like you then a great man took me under his wing & look at me now, I'm the 2nd best Wrestler here. I would just like to help someone out like Jz helped me out.
*Spaz heads off in the direction of his locker room.*
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Post by DSR on Mar 5, 2005 2:08:39 GMT -5
*DSR bumps into Billy Ubermark.
Billy: "Oh geez, um, pardon me, I-"
DSR: "Hey, don't worry about it. I heard you talking to Spaz."
Billy: "Yeah, he seems like a cool guy."
DSR: "I'd watch out if I were you. You like girls, right?"
Billy: "Well...yeah...I thi-YES! I LIKE GIRLS!"
DSR: "Then you gotta steer clear of that guy. You heard what he said...'pointers'...'under his wing'? Ya see what I'm saying?"
Billy: "I...think...so."
DSR: "Yeah, Spaz sucks! Don't listen to that punk, he's just a lackey for a glorified backyarder!"
*Billy thinks for a minute.
DSR: "Hey, your a good kid. Decide for yourself. And maybe this s***hole isn't all bad."
*DSR smirks and walks away.
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Post by dorf on Mar 5, 2005 12:32:46 GMT -5
*Dorf comes down to the ring with new music entitiled, "The Dorf says," with breaks of "Know yer soul, and shut yer Trap!" Vince Russo then comes out to some hick music.*
*The two tangle right way and with Dorf's strengths, he immediatly DDT'd Russo and covers him, but only got a 2 count. After that, Dorf, put Russo into the Dorf BOTTOM! and Russo kicked out of that!*
Dorf: F***!
*Dorf made Russo stand up again and connects with the Dorf Bottom again! He covers Russo once more and still he kicks out.*
Dorf: Damnit Russo! You want to lose the hard way don't you?
*Dorf makes Russo stand up once more with feeling as he delievers the Commu-Driver to Russo so that he'll disapprear in the tournament. Dorf covers Russo and only gets a two count.*
*Dorf then delievered another Dorf Bottom to Russo, and still he kicked out. *
Dorf: Alright, Russo this botch is for you!
*Dorf delievered a botched Commu-Driver to Russo and his neck & Spine now look disfigured. Dorf goes to cover, and somehow, someway Russo still kicked out of the pinfall. Dorf was getting beligerant now.*
Dorf: If it worked for Goldberg, it's going to work for ya Vinnie Ru *Dorf has crazy look*
*He picks up a taser that was inside his left boot and makes Russo suffer with the taser of a lifetime and delievers another Botched Commu-Driver and finally gets the three count!*
Winner: By pinfall, Dorf
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Post by Baron Von Bullshit on Mar 5, 2005 12:58:50 GMT -5
*rips off Vince Russo mask*
IT WAS ME WOLMESDORF!!! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!!!!
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.
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Post by curtrok on Mar 5, 2005 13:01:27 GMT -5
::Botchberg is at a press conference after his first round win::
Reporter: How was it to be in the ring with Golberg?
BB: I was actually disapointed the match went as long as it did. Golberg is a trite character in an explosive era it was my pleasure to Botchhammer him into oblivion.
Repoter2: How can you call Goldberg trite when your gimmick is a blatant rip-off.
BB: I take offense to that. The Botchberg character is unique. It is based on really stiff in ring work, less than steallar promos a sub-par work rate, no-selling moves and squash matches.
Reporter2: But....that's...nevermind.
Repoter3: How's the shoulder?
BB: Never better, the treatment my trainers have me on is working wonders.
Reporter: Botchberg how do you respond to reports that you've been a little more short tempered as of late.
BB: WHAT THE f***. I mean I don't know how someone would get that impression. I'm just as level headed as ever.
Reporter4: Some peole seem to think that your recovery couldn't be natural.
BB: What do you mean.
Repoter4: There are whispers of performance enhancers. In the last weeks you've had a scaffold match in which to took a sick bump and a terrible shoulder injury. Yet you seem to be getting bigger and stronger. How do you respond?
BB: I respond by ripping out you neck you f***ing geek, nerd reporter!!! BLEARG! This f***ing conference is over. BLEARGGGGG!
:Botchberg destroys the set tossing the podium sixty feet to the back wall where it shatters to pieces. He then destroys several tables and chairs with his bare hands before leaving::
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Post by curtrok on Mar 5, 2005 17:59:29 GMT -5
Outside the arena Botch Steiner who was suspended indefinately some threads ago is seen protesting.
BS: You know all my freaks want to see my peaks. Its not fair to keep the booty dady away from all his faithful fans. But that's what Toomiguci and his hooc...
*Before another horrible rhyme could be completed Botchberg comes storming out, still irate after his press conference.*
BB: BLEARG! BLEARRRRRRRRRG BLEARRRRRRRRRRRRG! I can't believe those assholes are in there accusing me, me Botchberg the most exciting poster this side of well anyone of being a juice head. I ought to CRUSH EM!
BS: Well if you remember Big Poppa Pump did hook you up with the cream and the clear. *Flexes* And the gene therapy. Holla if you hear me.
BB: I HEAR YA BLEARGEEBLEARG! *Botchberg assults Botchsteiner with a barrage of rights and lefts. Steiner tries to evade the punches but is far too slow. He is then stomped into a pulp and left bleeding on the pavement.
Break.
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Post by HMARK Center on Mar 5, 2005 21:12:45 GMT -5
<The theme from "Psycho" hits, and Sid Vicious enters the arena. He stands on the ropes, playing to the crowd, informing them that he made sure NOT to take laxatives before the match. Thank God.>
<The lights suddenly go out, and "Dissposable Teens" starts playing, as first the nameless woman enters through the curtains, where she turns and awaits HMark's entrance. HMark once again dons his body length leather jacket with the Fallen Dragon logo, as well as his "priestly" tassles on each side of the chest. HMark hands his shades off to the woman, and gets ready to begin.>
<Sid immediately charges and attempts to use his size advantage to get a quick win, but HMark continuously sidesteps him. Sid eventually screams and charges again, but HMark slides down, takes his leg out from under him, ties his legs into an Indian Deathlock, and stands up, staring down at the big man. HMark looks to the crowd, and proceeds to lean backwards into a sick looking bridge, putting an insane amount of pressure on Sid's legs.>
<After HMark breaks the hold, he leaps back and decides to also work Sid's upper body. He drives his knee and shin into Sid's prone upper back on the mat, and goes for a Dragon Sleeper at the same time. Sid reaches the ropes, but when he does, HMark rolls over, grabs his leg, drags him away from the ropes, and proceeds to tear and stretch his legs in ways a leg shouldn't be stretched.>
<Sid's in a lot of pain, so HMark decides it's time to put him out of it. He gets Sid to his feet, promptly knees him in the gut, and manages to hit the Dragon's Wings, quite a feat considering their size difference. When Sid's on the groun, HMark puts a crossface on him, but also leans so that one of his legs wraps around Sid's arm, and his other one wraps around Sid's head. Sid attempts to power out of it, but when he's about to, HMark switches over to Cattle Mutilation. When Sid gets to the ropes for THAT, HMark looks to the crowd, yells out "should I?", and promptly locks the Sharpshooter on in the middle of the ring. The big man taps. HMark looks over him and addresses him.>
HMark: Ever see Game of Death? Bruce Lee movie?
Sid: Huh?
HMark: You know, the one he never finished...he fights Kareem Abdul Jabbar in that one. But the smaller man ends up killing the larger one. And you know why? Because of skill. Just as Lee outfought Jabbar, so I outwrestled you. One difference between you and Jabbar, though.
<HMark gets behind the sitting up Sid and delivers a STIFF kick to his back>
Jabbar didn't SUCK.
<HMark throws down the mic and walks off with the woman>
BK: Sorry it was a squash; I really don't have a ton of time right now to whip up a long one. You all know what I usually do, anyway, so whateva.
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