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Post by Oceanic on Jan 7, 2006 16:32:04 GMT -5
Bertha Faye and Harvey Whippleman come out from the back to a mixed reaction of indifference and jeers. They get into the ring as they are introduced trying to get some heat but failing.
The lights go down and "Maritime" plays over the PA. Oceanic comes out to a major pop. She slaps five with a few fans as she walks slowly to the ring. She gets into the ring and stands on the second turnbuckles and looks out over the crowd smiling. After her introduction the lights come back up and she hops off to face Bertha for the third time.
Before the bell can ring "She's Got Issues" blasts through the arena to everyone's surprise. The crowd pops huge again as Carla comes out from the back with the GND belt draped over her shoulder and she sets up a chair at the top of the ramp. Oceanic turns to Carla and points up to her and Carla points back. The bell rings and Oceanic turns back to Bertha, who's not too pleased about being considered a wide load jobber. Bertha charges Oceanic with a running forearm but Oceanic ducks and throws a big reverse kick right into Bertha's back. Oceanic jumps up on Bertha's shoulders and rolls her forward into a pinning position.
1...........
Bertha kicks out easily. Oceanic springs up first and waits for Bertha to stand up. Once she's up Oceanic unloads with a series of elbow and knee strikes knocking Bertha for a loop, the last elbow strike lands right on Bertha's nose busting it open. Oceanic hits the ropes and nails Bertha with a flying knee strike to the chest that knocks her flat on her back. Oceanic leaps off the second ropes with a Lionsault and jumps back up with a double leg drop across Bertha's stomach. Oceanic stands up and faces Carla and holds her arms out as if to say "What do you think of that?" Carla smiles and responds by jokingly shaking her hand in that "Eh" motion. Oceanic laughs and goes back to work on Bertha. Oceanic picks Bertha up and gives her a sit down Pedegree, hold on to the arms and moves herself onto Berthas' back, repositions her arms, and locks in a full nelson/camel clutch combo. Bertha is paying as Oceanic cranks on it and shifts so Bertha can't get any leverage. A minute later Oceanic repositions her arms again and bridges over for a Cattle Mutilation. Bertha is struggling but can't break the hold. Oceanic keeps it in for another minute then swings herself around to the side and locks in a Crippler Crossface/Rings Of Saturn combination. Bertha is basically done right now but she won't give up. Oceanic breaks the hold but holds onto the arm and immediately applies These Arms Are Snakes to Bertha and cranks back even harder than usual. Bertha struggles but can't do much of anything. It looks as if Bertha is about to tap but suddenly Harvey jumps into the ring to interfere but Oceanic breaks the hold and moves out of the way as Harvey jumps up for what looks like it was supposed to be an elbow drop. Harvey crashes onto Bertha and scrambles up to his feet. He turns and Oceanic doubles him over with a heavy front kick to the gut followed by a DDT. Oceanic gets back up and looks at Harvey for a second, then appears to be thinking. She then shrugs her shoulders and says, "Why not? Worth a try." Oceanic picks Harvey up and manages to get him in a gorilla press position. She walks over to the ropes and unceremoniously dumps him out onto the concrete.
The crowd goes bonkers for this as well as Carla who is now standing and applauding. Meanwhile Bertha has managed to get up and is sneaking up behind Oceanic. Oceanic though can hear her coming and gives her another reverse kick to the stomach. Bertha doubles over and Oceanic jumps on top of her and locks in a rear naked choke. Bertha slumps down to the mat and after a few seconds she's out like a light.
Carla heads down to the ring as Oceanic is declared the winner. Carla enters the ring and she slaps five with Oceanic as the crowd is changing "GND! GND! GND! GND!" The two ladies acknowledge the crowd as the camera goes to the next segment.
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Jan 7, 2006 22:38:42 GMT -5
*The camera fades into a press confrence studio. Many sports writers are in the audience along with many rabid EWT fans.*
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen. Deamon Cohln.
*camera flashes start arising and a few fans in the back start chanting names of the various superstars in the OX Title Guantlet. ICP's Halls of Illusion hits and Deamon and Jacola both walk to a table and sit in chairs. Deamon has a mic in front of him.*
Announcer: Deamon will read a statement then the floor will be open for questions from repoters.
Deamon: When I was on ESPN's Cold Pizza, I was there to represent the entire EWT. My actions on the 1st & 10 segment were not accepta....*he reads to rest of the card. He turns to Jacola.* What the f*** are you making me read! I can't say this. *Jacola covers the mic and whispers somethin into Deamon's ear.* That b**** had it coming! I'm not apologizing for this! Look, when I went on there I thought my opinions would be respected, but I was blatently profiled for being a pro wrestler. I was not respected, appreciated, or all-in-all liked. Hell, they treated me like they would treat some local celebrity living out his 15 min of fame. I think that's bulls***. So when Woody pushed me over the edge, I defended myself. His words hurt a hell of a lot less then my fists he learned. As for Jacola attacking the cameraman. That never happened. There are conflicting repots of what really happened so I belive there is not enough evidence to make a true judgement. Now any of you have any questions?
Cowhead: Yeah Deamon, would you comp...
Deamon: Wait, aren't you that radio guy Cowhead?
Cowhead: Yes I am.
*Deamon says something to Jacola. Jacola gets up and moves away.*
Deamon: Anyone else?
Jay Mariotti: Deamon, what would you do if Woody Paige does in fact file charges against you?
Deamon: Find him, beat his ass again. Hell, I've seen Around the Horn. You've wanted to beat the hell out of him too.
Jay: Yeah... *A crash and Cowhead screams can be heard as Jacola proceeds to beat the hell out of him.*
Deamon: Atta' boy, anyway I belive this press confrence has drawn to a...
Mitch Album: Deamon one more question. Do you really think you can win the OX Title this sunday? I mean you have to go against 5 other men.
Deamon: Ah, Mitch. You still suck after all these years. Of course I can win. I'm Deamon f***ing Cohln. I can win any match, anywhere, anytime. I know that the "Master of the DDT" here will not fail and that big boy over there, *Deamon looks at Jacola still beating the hell out of Cowhead* Let him have some blood left Jacola, will be there for me. And gentlemen THAT'S The GODDAMN TRUTH! Come on Jacola.
*Jacola walks away from Cowhead, but gets one more good kick in before he leaves. Deamon and Jacola walk out. Sum Guy walks in late.*
Sum Guy: DAMN. I'm glad I was late...
*The camera fades away.*
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Jan 8, 2006 0:06:49 GMT -5
-=Scene=- “Happy Together” by the Turtles begins to play as we look upon an open field on a nice, sunny day. The gorgeous scene is aesthetically mutilated by the appearance of “Delicious” Dick Slater and Paul Podanski’s mother skipping past with a picnic basket around her arm. We cut to them set up on a blanket and Dick pulls out a hotdog from the basket. Mrs. Podanski rams her fist into the basket and pulls out a two foot long sausage. She dips it in a small jar of mayonnaise and begins to deep throat it to the shock of “Delicious” Dick. Cut again to Dick sitting on his stomach while Mrs. P lubes up his back and middle aged rear end with Hormel chili. She sneaks in a quick lick that catches Dick by surprise. Another cut to Mrs. P wearing Dick’s chef’s hat with a bra made out of hamburger buns and granny panties made out of squeezed together melted moonpies. Dick begins to cut his stomach and lick his lips to the point of nausea. He removes a bottle of barbecue sauce from his apron, flips it into the air, catches it, and begins to approach Mrs. P as we cut to live at ringside for Senor Splash and “Delicious” Dick’s match. The Fink is in the middle of the ring muttering something. The mic is not by his face but you can make out something about him being reluctant to announce Dick and Splash. Someone mutters something to him about free dinner at the Ponderosa and he perks up and lifts the microphone to his face. The New Age Outlaws make their way to the ring and Fink gives them a proper introduction. They do their usual DX signals and get a large Samoan man to flash the crowd. Their music calms down and the camera closes in on Finkel.
-=Howard Finkel=- Ladies and gentleman, weighing in at a combined weight of four full kegs and a bottle of cocoa butter body grease…
-=Scene=- “Sex Machine” by the US Bombs begins to play.
-=Howard Finkel=- Senor Splash and “Delicious” Dick Slater…”Bend Over and Say AHHHHHH!”
-=Scene=- With the announcement of their new name, Dick and Splash emerge in their usual attire. Dick gets a little too excited by the crowd begins grinding on Splash, who shoves him off in his usual drunken stupor. Senor stumbles to the ring and Dick caresses his way down the ramp way, making pit stops to get on the ground and dry hump it. Splash looks at him in a disgusted matter and rolls into the ring, but stops suddenly on his back. Dick gets in the ring and starts dancing seductively towards the New Age Outlaws. Senor Splash is apparently sleeping in the ring. The bell rings and Dick and the Road Dog get ready to lock up. This goes on while Splash is still sleeping, by the way James kicks Dick in the stomach and irish whips him to the ropes. Dick bounces of and Road Dogg’s fist connects with his face. Jesse wastes now time in doing his old punch “Shake, Rattle, and Roll” combo. He lands the last strike and Dick falls to the mat. James stomps his chest a few times and goes for the cover.
-=Ref=- 1…2...
-=Scene=- Dick kicks out. James angrily hops to his feet and picks up Dick. He goes to lock up again but Dick reverses and slides behind James. He goes to give him a pump handle slam but Road Dogg quickly dives forward screaming “He just rubbed my sack!” The ref scolds Dick who tries to defend himself mentioning something about Road Dogg “presenting himself”. While this is going on Dogg tags in Badass Billy Gunn. Both men charge Dick with clubbing fists to the back. Dick falls to his knees as the ref tries to push of Billy Gunn claiming he never saw the tag. Road Dogg is still working on Slater, but Dick grabs Road Dogg by the groin and begins to twist and turn. The crowd groans in disgust and begins to leave as Dick shouts “Ha! More like Road Puppy!” He pushes Jesse away slightly, but then clocks him in the chin with a big ole Texas boot to the face! Badass Billy is forced outside back to his corner. Dick puts Jesse in his patented sleeper hold called the “Roofie”. The ref lifts Jesse’s arm….
-=Ref=- 1...2...
-=Scene=- Jesse keeps his arm up to avoid the three. He fights his way back to his feet and elbows Dick several times. He runs to the ropes, bounces off, and hits Dick with a clothesline, knocking him down. Road Dogg goes over and tags in Billy Gunn that the ref sees this time. Billy starts trash talking Dick and brings him to his feet. He locks Dick up for a belly to belly suplex, but Slater starts grinding and Billy gets skeeved. He jumps back and complains to the referee “That’s not my gimmick anymore!”. Dick charges at him with his dreaded forearm of doom and Billy falls back. Dick kicks him once in the stomach causing Billy to bend over. Dick mounts him for a piledriver, but pauses a minute to feel Billy in between his legs. Gunn immediately panics and begins screaming like a girl. Dick picks him up with intent to do a piledriver, but screaming, victimized Billy wiggles out of it. Dick falls back and takes Billy with him. Gunn somehow is catapulted into the top of the ringpost and gets knocked out! Dick lands with his hands out, one of them accidentally slaps Splash’s hand, who angrily twitches on the apron. He rolls over to the unconscious Gunn, believes him to be a female, and starts snuggling him. His arm is over Gunn, so the ref falls to the ground and begins the count.
-=Ref=- 1...2...3!!!!!
-=Scene=- The ref signals for the bell to ring as Jesse James is almost immediately in his face. Fink announces “Bend Over and Say AHHHHH!” as the winners, although Dick is knocked out and Splash is spooning with Gunn on the ground. By this time the arena is half empty since everyone was too grossed out to watch the entire mask. The camera fades to a commercial for the upcoming EWT PPV.
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 8, 2006 0:15:12 GMT -5
*Mike Ragnal is standing on hilltop for the first time since whenever watching a storm pass by. Mike turns around to the camera, holding his title belt over his shoulder.*
MIKE: Tomorrow, I take on the hardest challenge of my life. The Survival Cage. Five other men. For the EWT Heavyweight title. And my first...and maybe only opponent in this match...is Moxie. Our EWT Heavyweight champion. But Moxie, you can gaurantee that I won't back down at all in this match. I will do everything possible to destroy you...and win...or help crown a new champion. But it will be an honor facing you, just as it has been an honor to be involved in such a match.
And THAT'S the Shocking Truth!
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Jan 8, 2006 1:00:26 GMT -5
*The camera goes into the locker room after Deamon’s press confrence. Jacola is layed out on the floor blood running from his forehead. Deamon gets up and pushes the camera guy back and looks down the hallway. An man with short black hair and a “Cohln’s Star” on the back of his shirt is running away with a hockey stick in his hand.*
Deamon: What the hell?! Why does everyone come screw with me here in EWT! You little prick! Get back here! *Deamon looks to the camera guy* Get some help for him. I got some business to do. *Deamon runs off down the hallway. He picks up a board as he runs down the hallway.*
Jacola: *still bleeding* Sev..Sev..Se… *Jacola passes out*
*The camera fades out on Jacola’s battered body.*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Jan 8, 2006 2:29:03 GMT -5
<Moxie sits in his locker room, the belt sitting on his lap, a dark towel over his head>
Moxie: The time for the Survival Cage is here. The 5 Cages, 5 Challenges. Throughout the week, I've been training... studying... sweating. It's been forever, but finally. My time is now, and the Survival Cage is just another stepping stone in my championship reign, another link in my championship belt.
<Moxie pauses and breathes out slowly>
Moxie: I'm fully aware that I may never make it out alive. I know my first match is with Mike Ragnal. A Tag-Team Champion, and a hell of a wrestler. But Mike... I see it in your eyes, you're scared. You should be. Nothing personal, but I'll break you.
<Moxie folds his hands together>
Moxie: Billy, and singing... HBH and his Muzak. HMark's Prophecy could be Reborn tomorrow night. Limey's hard work could pay off. I don't need any catchphrases, I don't need to prove myself to anyone anymore. I'm at the top of my game. I'll be damned if any one of you takes my championship.
<Moxie holds the belt in his hands>
Moxie: It may be the last time I hold it, but I don't care what anyone else thinks. This belt, is my life.
<fade out>
Moxie: I don't need a song... I don't need a catchphrase.
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 8, 2006 3:35:01 GMT -5
Hoss: Folks we got a special treat for you right now. As you all Know Outlaw Chris James has denounced all claims to The Mercenary background, but earlier today the video we are about to show highlights both Merc,and the Outlaw!!!! Lets take a look!
*The video show clips of Mercs,and Outlaws matches, and loves.*
Blaze Of Glory J. Bon Jovi
I wake up in the morning And I raise my weary head I've got an old coat for a pillow And the earth was last night's bed I don't know where I'm going Only God knows where I've been I'm a devil on the run A six gun lover A candle in the wind
When you're brought into this world They say you're born in sin Well at least they gave me something I didn't have to steal or have to win Well they tell me that I'm wanted Yeah, I'm a wanted man I'm a colt in your stable I'm what Cain was to Abel Mister catch me if you can
I'm going out in a blaze of glory Take me now but know the truth I'm going out in a blaze of glory Lord I never drew first But I drew first blood I'm no one's son Call me young gun
You ask about my conscience And I offer you my soul You ask if I'll grow to be a wise man Well I ask if I'll grow old You ask me if I've known love And what it's like to sing songs in the rain Well, I've seen love come And I've seen it shot down I've seen it die in vain
Shot down in a blaze of glory Take me now but know the truth 'Cause I'm going down in a blaze of glory Lord I never drew first But I drew first blood I'm the devil's son Call me young gun
Solo
Each night I go to bed I pray the Lord my soul to keep No I ain't looking for forgiveness But before I'm six foot deep Lord, I got to ask a favor And hope you'll understand 'Cause I've lived life to the fullest Let this boy die like a man Staring down a bullet Let me make my final stand
Shot down in a blaze of glory Take me now but know the truth I'm going out in a blaze of glory Lord I never drew first But I drew first blood And I'm no one's son Call me young gun I'm a young gun
*At the end of the video Outlaw Chris James appears shortly after on the screen wearing a cowboy hat,and a long leather brown trench coat. Outlaw is standing right outside an old saloon.*
OL: Flex,and Maelstrom I'm coming for that Tri State Title! I don't care who is wearing it! Just remember one thing though boys. I'll Make You Famous!
*Outlaw than draws a pistol,and shoots out the TV camera leaving nothing,but black on the tron.*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 8, 2006 4:06:57 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage with Carl Guerrero.*
CG: How are you feeling going into the gauntlet match at Toom E's House Party II?
S: Well Carl I know that all 5 men in the match will be tough opponents. But I am confident that I can overcome them & keep this title around my waist. I didn't go out & design a new damn belt to give it up a month later!
CG: Obviously coming in later in the match would ba an advantage, is that critical to your plan.
S: Well yes & no, the later I come in the fewer guys I would have to go through but if I walk in last & the other guy has been there since the start he will already be warmed up & ready where it might take me a little while to get going. It will be difficult either way.
CG: Comments from Spaz in the lead up to Toom E's House Party II. If you haven't already purchased it time is running out. Go do it now, you won't miss anthing interesting I will just be reading this grown up's newspaper.
*Carl pulls out a Horse Racing Form Guide & opens it up.*
CG: Go Now!
*Carl starts to read it as we fade to commercial.*
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jan 8, 2006 10:41:56 GMT -5
*HBH walks out to the ring amdist a sea of boos*
HBH: Tonight will be a very special night. You all will have the chance to witness history in the making. Now, I'm sure you guys think I'm talking about the much-anticipated return of HitmanMark...
*Crowd cheers loudly and chants "HITMANMARK! HITMANMARK!"
HBH: ...but then you'd be wrong. What I'm talking about is, tonight you will see a new EWT Heavyweight Champion be crowned. Could it be Mike Ragnal?
*Crowd cheers*
HBH: Sorry, it ain't him.
*Crowd boos*
HBH: Could it be Billy Ubermark?
*Crowd boos*
HBH: Not a bad choice, but it ain't him either. How about the one they call Limey?
*Crowd cheers loudly*
HBH: Ha! Not a chance.
*Crowd boos*
HBH: Or how about the returning HitmanMark?
*Crowd cheers very loudly*
HBH: Well I hate to break it to you people, but it won't be him either.
*Crowd boos loudly*
HBH: HitmanMark, I know you're back there watching, so I want you to listen up. If you think for one second that I'm simply going to allow you to advance to the next round, you have another thing coming. The Heartbreak Hitman lays down for NOBODY. And HitmanMark, you'll be no different. It doesn't matter to me if you're an EWT Hall of Famer or just another guy making a comeback because he has nothing better to do with his life. When the match is over, the person staring up at the lights won't be me. It'll be you, courtesy of some Sweet Chin Muzak. And anybody else who I have to go through to get to the title will feel the same effect. One by one, they will all fall at the feet of The Showstoppa, The Icon, The Main Event! And you will see a NEW EWT Heavyweight Champion being crowned: yours truly, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels.
*HBH then leaves the ring and heads up the ramp, again gesturing that he will be winning the title. Fans boo and heckle him mercilessly*
*Cut to a promo advertising the return of Gasoline*
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Post by paulpodanski on Jan 8, 2006 13:23:40 GMT -5
The old heel Mankind theme starts up and he walks out in the old school brown outfit he wears. The crowd gives him a nice pop.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. And it is for the EWT Toolshed Championship!!! From Long Island New York, weighing in at 297 pounds, Mankind!!!
Mankind hobbles out to the ring and slides inside. He looks around menacingly awaiting his opponent.
Soon after though, Let the Bodies Hit the Floor starts up and Paul charges out to the ring, belt around neck, trash bag over shoulder. He salutes the crowd and charges down the ramp.
Announcer: And from Birmingham Alabama, weighing in at 312 pounds, he is the Drunken Demon and the Current Toolshed Division Champion... Paul Podanski!!!
Paul steps into the ring, looks at Mankind and reaches into his trashbag, pulling out a microphone?
Paul: Okay... what is this? Beat up Mick Foley Month for Podanski? First... it was Jack Foley... then last week Cactus Jack... and now Mankind?! Whose next... Dude Love?!
Mankind: Oh... so you don't think I'm a worthy challenger for your title... well that makes me angry! So angry I could...
Paul: Whoa whoa whoa... nutcase. I never said you weren't worthy... Paul Podanski welcomes ALL Challenges. Even if they are from psychos like you... or PARASLICE.
Mankind quickly charges forward, but Paul cuts him off with a microphone to the face, then tosses it away. He starts punching away, sending Mankind reeling backwards a bit, then grabbing and whipping him off the ropes and into a Flapjack to the mat. The crowd pops. Paul grins and runs back, bouncing off the ropes for a Senton... and it connects! He goes for the quick cover. 1...2...
Mankind kicks out. Paul gets back up off and starts to stomp away to soften him up a bit. Mankind groans, slowly rising to his feet after a bit... only to get lifted up for a suplex to the mat. Paul gets back to his feet... walking over to the trashbag and pulling out... a bag of popcorn?
Mankind slowly rises up, Paul ramming the bag right into his masked mug, Mankind selling it like a gunshot! Paul then opens up the bag and decides to eat some of it. He then walks over and dumps out the rest all over Mankind's body. The crowd laughs visibly as Paul tosses the bag away, then leaps up for a leg drop, Mankind rolls out of the way. Paul groans and slowly rises up, only to get clotheslined back down by Mankind.
Mankind walks over to Paul's bag, fishes around inside and ironically... pulls out a fishing rod. He swings it around a bit... then smacks Paul right in the back with it. Paul yelps out in Pain as Mankind hits him again... and again. Paul tries to struggle back to his feet after the abusive shots, but Mankind stops it with another shot to his groin. Paul acks, holding himself and falling to the mat. He desperately rolls out of the ring.
Mankind looks over and grabs Paul's toys... slinging it over his own shoulder... and dumping it out of the ring. He climbs out as well. Paul is back up again... Mankind grabbing him and whipping him into the barricade. Paul hit's it hard, the crowd taking time to touch Paul like the obsessed fans they are. Mankind meanwhile goes back to the bag... grabbing a CROWBAR?!
Paul slowly stagger from against the Barricade, as Mankind goes for a swing and connects... right on Paul's chest. He hunches over, getting another smack against his back. The crowd boos as Mankind drops the Crowbar, having done enough damage. He picks up a beaten Paul and hoist him up for a suplex, right into the barrier!!! Paul gasps out in agony, almost being bent over it. He groans and rolls off the barricade, the crowd chanting " Holy S***!!! Holy S***!!! Holy S***!!! "
Mankind picks Paul back up and carries him over to the steel rampway, then gives him a malicious DDT atop of the thing. Paul hits the steel hard, now busted open. Mankind goes for a cover. 1...2....
No! Paul somehow kicks out. Mankind can't believe it! He stomps angrily at Paul a bit, aiming at his sore torso. He then picks up Paul again and starts punching him, sending him stumbling back, up the ramp. He keeps laying into him with fists... until finally, they reach the top. Mankind then grabs Paul for a double arm DDT... probably aiming for off the ramp!
But Paul counters... being the resilient one he is and back body drops him right off the ramp into a table below, which he crashes through! Paul then leaps off the ram pas well... with an Appualachian Mountain Splash attempt!!! He connects and goes for another cover. 1...2.....
NO! NO! NO! Mankind barely gets the shoulder up! Paul looks surprised now... well that and hurt. The splash took more out of him than it did Mankind. He slowly rolls off of him. The two lay there motionless... and since this is Toolshed Division, there are no count outs. Slowly, Mankind and Paul both get to their feet.
Mankind tries to give Paul another punch, but it's caught! Paul starts laying into Mankind with stiff painful punches of his own, Mankind reeling back with each one. They start to fight back to the ring area. Mankind is now busted wide open because of the punches. Paul eventually reaches the ring again and rolls Mankind inside. He looks down into his trash bag and pulls out... Two Pool Cues...
The crowd pops and starts chanting Paul!!! Paul!!! Paul!!! Paul quickly slides into the ring with them both, barley able to stand though, but still managing to. He now looms over Mankind once again, who after being rolled inside, manages to rise to his feet. As he does, Paul SLAMS the two cues right against his sides. Mankind gasps in pain, back to his knees.
Paul places one of the cue in Mankinds conveniently placed arms... right against his face. He then backs up... bouncing off the ropes and charges forward for a knee to his face... but Mankind slumps over out of luck... Paul missing him and slamming right into the turnbuckle, which Mankind apparently unpadded earlier. He is also busted wide open now. Mankind sees his opportunity... grabbing Paul, him dropping his cue stick as he's locked in the sock-less Mandible Claw!!!
Paul flails around in desperation, trying to escape the lock... but Mankind not letting him do so. He gets him down to the floor, Paul now laying almost motionlessly... soon he stops moving. The referee walks over and lifts up his arm... 1....... no movement. 2..... still no movement. One last time....
Paul keeps it from going down! Again Mankind is shocked... he applies more and more pressure... Paul however reaching over and grabbing the fallen cue stick next to him and smashing Mankind right across the back with it... sending it into pieces!!! Mankind acks and loosens the hold now... as Paul rises up to his feet again. Mankind tries to lock it again, but Paul counters with another Cue Stick smack to his hand. Mankind yelps and holds his possibly broken hand.
Paul then lifts him up for a huge Manhattan drop... which causes Mankind to land on the Pool Cue... berries first. He yelps out in Pain as the crowd knows what is coming next. Paul backs up off the ropes and bounces off with one final Pool Cue smash to his face, breaking the stick in half!!!
Paul tosses the useless stick away and signals for the end... hoisting Mankind up and spinning 1...2...3...4..5.... not able to get as much spinning as usual but enough he thinks as he slams him down for the Paulerbomb!!! Into the cover... 1.....2.....
3!!!! And this one is over.
Announcer: Here is your winner.... and still the EWT Toolshed Champion... Paul Podanski!!!
The crowd pops massively as Paul slowly raises up off the fallen Mankind, wraps the belt around his neck, grabs his bag and rolls out of the ring, stumbling back up the ramp.
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Post by paulpodanski on Jan 8, 2006 13:32:49 GMT -5
Paul slwoly heads back to his locker-room backstage, with his belt. He wipes some blood off his face.
Paul: Hey Momma... did you see what I did to... Momma?
Paul Podanski's Mom is nowhere to be found. He looks around the room, trying to spot her... but to no avail.
Paul: Ahhhh guess we went to get plastered. I could use a few drinks myself... considering it'll make me forget about how much pain I'm in right now...
Paul is about to walk out... when she notices his Momma forgot her barf bag... which she always takes when she goes drinking. Don't aks me why she does.
Paul: Wait a minute... she never leaves thta behind when she goes... DAMN IT!!! Whoever took my Momma is gonna regret it!!!
He charges out the locker-room and on a rampage searching for her.
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Post by Ultimo Chocula on Jan 8, 2006 15:35:44 GMT -5
(Backstage Ultimo and Terri are sitting on the couch. Well, Ultimo is slouching on the couch. Terri has nice posture. We catch 'em in mid conversation.)
UC: "Ok, yeah. Billy is probably going to win the big Survival Cage cockamamie. He's practically a sure thing. But why the hell did they not even tell me about it? I have just as much chance of winning that thing as he does! I don't know where Moniqua gets off telling me I'm not ready yet."
Terri: "I don't know. You've never had a match like this, and you've never faced any of the other five guys before. It would be a pretty tall order for you to come out on top."
UC: "So now you're bagging on me too? Fantastic. Why don't you just kick me in the ghoulies while you're at it. Or better yet why don't you go hang out with Billy since you like him so much better. Go ahead. I'll just sit here in the dark all by myself. I'll be fine. Go have your fun. See if I care."
Terri: "Will you stop that?! I don't like Billy more than you. You know that we've been tight ever since you showed up here. I've been your biggest supporter from the beginning. Out of everyone here I know you the best, and that includes Billy and Moniqua. I'm just saying that you haven't quite gotten to the level that Billy has. You're good, yes, but you're not THAT good yet. You will be that good soon, just not now. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"
UC: "Yeah, you think I'm the second coming of Tom Stone."
Terri: (visibly pissed) "AAARRGG! If you say that one more time I swear I will claw your eyes out! I've got nails too, *BEEP!* I'll use 'em!"
(UC looks at Terri shocked what he just heard come out of her mouth.)
UC: "You have quite the filthy *BEEP!*ing mouth. I'm telling your mother what you just said."
Terri: "Oh knock it off. You swear all the time. I'm allowed one obscenity every so often."
(Billy and Moniqua (w/ Fru Fru in tow) walk through the door discussing their game plan for the Survival Cage and the ensuing press junket. They see UC and stop talking. Billy looks a little uncomfortable.)
UC: "Well well! If it isn't old Eggs Benedict Arnold himself and his wife.......(can't come up with snappy comment)........Mrs. Eggs. Planning on how to sell me out again, are we?"
Billy: "Oh for the luvva.....you're not still mad about his are you?"
UC: "Who me? Of course not! Water under the bridge! I'm happy for you! Really! Oh! By the way, I found that knife you've been looking for! Here!"
(UC stands up and turns around so his back is to Billy.)
UC: "There you go! Be sure to tug good and hard! It's in there up to the hilt!"
Moniqua: "That is enough! Signore Chocula, you've been acting like a spoiled child! Why do you choose to behave in this reprehensible manner?"
UC: "Isn't that how you taught me to behave?"
Moniqua: "To photographers! To catering! To hired help! Not to me!"
Billy: "We've been over this a million times, Ultimo! I have experience with these types of matches. I've faced Moxie, HBH, and Mike Ragnal before. I know how to beat those guys. I held the Tri State title longer than anyone. I have the skills to pull this off. I'm the odds on favorite to win the whole thing. Even you said yourself that I was going to win, right?"
UC: "Well, theoretically yes but..."
Billy: "Right! And when I win the World Title it will be the start of the Handsome Boy Modeling School era. When I'm the World Champ I'll have the leverage to get a shot at the tag team titles. You and me! Tag champs! Then once you have the gold, you can use that to get yourself a shot at the OX Division title, or the Tri State title, you're pick! Heck, you can even get Terri a shot for the GND title if you wanted to!"
Terri: "Leave me out of this!"
Billy: "Or not! You see what I'm getting at? We can clean house! We can hold all the titles! We'll have a monopoly! Nobody will be able to stop us!"
Moniqua: "Si, William. And with you handsome boys holding all of the titles it will give me all the power to shape the EWT the way I see fit. No more big, ugly, uncouth heathens with nasty unwashed beards or flashing this horrible 'metal' sign. They will all be no more. I will send these disgusting ape men back to the packing plants from where they came and I will bring in more of my handsome boys to make the EWT the sexiest promotion ever!"
Billy: "We may even bring in a Canine Division for Fru Fru."
Fru Fru: "Yip!"
Billy: "And you know what the best part is? When I take the World Title, it will bring all the ladies around the world to be with me. Every woman on the planet is going to want to be the one who devirginizes the champ! Do you see what I'm saying? There's going to be hundreds, thousands, of women all wanting to be with the virgin champ! My gawd, it will be beautiful."
(UC, still sulking through all of this, suddenly perks an eyebrow, then straightens up and smiles. He looks at Billy and places his hand on his shoulder.)
UC: "You know something, you're right. It's so obvious now. I should have seen it your way before. I'm sorry for behaving like this all week."
Billy: "It's ok. You were entitled to be a little steamed."
Moniqua: "That is more like it, Signore Chocula. That is how a handsome boy behaves."
UC: "Yes, yes. You're right. I'll tell you what, Billy. Let me make it up to you. After the match, when you take the belt, I will personally take you to the club and I will show you how to score. I'll teach you everything I know. You'll be learning from the master. With my expertise you will be swimming in so much *BEEP!* people will think you're running a cat shelter."
Billy: "Really? You'll do that?"
UC: "Is Big Show worthless?"
Billy: "Yes! Finally! I'm going to get some action! Ultimo, you're the best! You and me man! We're going to rule this place! Come on, Moniqua! We got some planning to do!"
(Billy and Moniqua leave the room, Billy bouncing with joy the whole way. Terri walks up beside Ultimo looking amazed at what just happened.)
Terri: "Wow, I can't believe you just did that. I'm not crazy about it but if you can get Billy a woman it would do wonders for him. You did a very nice thing just now."
UC: "Didn't I?"
(UC turns to Terri sporting a major fecal eating grin. Terri's mood changes instantly to concern as she's seen this face before.)
Terri: "What are you going to do?"
UC: "You'll see."
Terri: "Seriously, what are you going to do? You make me nervous when you smile like that."
UC: "Heh heh heh heh..............."
Terri: "Oh lord. Whatever it is just make sure I'm far away when it happens cuz I don't want any of whatever you got in that crazy head of yours."
(The camera fades out as UC keeps laughing to himself.)
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 8, 2006 16:14:33 GMT -5
<HMark now stands in the back, taping up his fists and wrists, dressed in his trunks, boots, and pads. His hair is still down in his face, his eyes lined>
Short and sweet: magic number four tonight. Bank on it.
<looks up>
As far as I'm concerned, I hold an advantage here. For years, I've been a student of the game. I've studied tapes, watched live matches like a ravenous hawk, and put into practice everything I've ever taken in.
But things are different now. I'm not sure how well some of you can comprehend this, but I know how good I am. See, no one else in this match has the experience I do, and the width and depth of knowledge I've amassed in the process.
Remember, gentlemen; you don't know me. When I step foot in the ring, I'll make sure you wrestle MY match. Deal with it, my friends; the master has returned, and you will be playing by the master's rules. The belt comes back home tonight; back home, to the arms that made it famous, that made it mean something to be EWT World Champion...
...that's enough. All will be made clear by tonight.
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Jan 8, 2006 21:13:13 GMT -5
*The camera is running backstage. You can hear the cameraman brething heavy and the camera is shaking. He gets to an open locker room door and runs in. Jacola is knocked out and Deamon is in a locker bashing it.*
Deamon: WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO F***ING GO WRONG TODAY!*He pokes his head out the door* I'M GOING TO FIND YOU YOU SON OF A B****. *Deamon sees the camera and walks to it. He grabs it by the lens and you can see the entire scene shake* Look Toomi. I hope had a hell of a birthday, because this has been the s***yist day of my life. Hope you have some EMT's left cause someone's gonna get the s*** kicked out of him. AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
*Deamon runs down the hallway. The camera fades out to a commercial for a replay of a replay of Toomi's House Party II.*
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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 8, 2006 21:22:40 GMT -5
<backstage cameras show doctors dabbing HMark's sweaty forehead, and making sure he's conscious. The Icon seems worse for wear>
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 8, 2006 21:58:00 GMT -5
*Mike is backstage, the EMTs looking on him. Linda, Joe, and Tanya are also hovering over him.*
JOE: Ya did great, bro. You may not have won, but you did good.
MIKE: Actually, Joe, I'm proud I didn't win. Could you imagine? I mean, God, I coulda became Cena for all I know.
*They all laugh, but eventuallythe mood turns serious.*
MIKE: But guys, it's time we got back to focusing on other things. Namely, Chrysta and her 'family'. We need to take them out before any more damage happens to you guys...after the bruatl attacks to Linda and Tanya, to the beating CHang gave Joe.
LINDA: Yeah, definitely not cool.
TANYA: Just like earlier. Who's damn idea was it to make us go out like that?
JOE: Same guy who let Hillary Clitton keep the GND belt despite there being actual talent.
T&L: Oh yeah.
MIKE: But like I said, the Connection has been making our lives a living hell ever since Chrysta joined them. It's time we take them up...and BRING. THEM. DOWN!
ALL: And THAT'S the Shocking Truth!
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Jan 9, 2006 4:18:21 GMT -5
*We are backstage. Sum Guy is waiting patiently for Limey to arrive back from the ring.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and tonight, we saw a NEW World Heavyweight Champion crowned! I've just had word that...wait...here he is!!!
*Limey walks on-screen, breathless, bruised and bloody, but triumphant.*
SG: Limey...after what you went through tonight...I gotta ask you...how do you feel?
*Limey pants, looks at Sum Guy, and then laughs victoriously, the EWT World Heavyweight Championship draped over his shoulder.*
Limey: How do I feel? HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK I FEEL, SUM? After all my time in EWT, all the obstacles I've overcome, all the time I've come so far and been the butt of everyone's jokes...that I was the weaker half of the tag champs...that I'm the biggest "fruit" in EWT, that I'm nothing but some British street punk with no hope of making it here in EWT...ALL THAT...means squat, and YOU KNOW IT, SUM!!! The EWT world heavyweight championship...it's now mine.
Carla: (Off-screen) LIMEY!!
*Carla O Woe runs on-screen, and she and Limey embrace. Carla then turns to Sum Guy, close to tears.*
Carla: Everything finally worked out...it's just as he said..and it happened.
Limey: Carla, I know now how you felt when you beat Linda Ragnal for the GND championship...this feeling...it's just too hard to explain! I feel on top of the world!! For months now, I tried, and I tried, but I couldn't get a win over any EWT superstar, but I came back...I came back, I trained to be better than I could ever be!!! This belt...it's in honour of all of the fans that never doubted me, that never once turned away from me when I was lying in a pool of my own blood, watching the other guy's hand raised in victory. If anyone thinks that my victory was a fluke, all I have to say is BRING IT...and LIFE will GIVE...YOU...LIMES!!!
SG: So...do you have any plans as new EWT world Champion?
Limey: Sum, I first want to say one thing...Moxie...
*The crowd cheers at the mention of Moxie's name.*
Limey: Moxie...you ever want a rematch...I'm your man.
SG: ...That all?
Limey: Sum, Moxie knows damn well my thoughts on him, and if I know Moxie, he must pine over the loss of the title. The least I can do is show a little honour, the same honour he showed when he won it at Season's Beatings.
Carla: You know, Sum, after that disgusting charade that Toom E made me and the GND Division go through, this was the best news I have heard today. The GND Divsion is sacred ground, and our code is about WRESTLING. WRESTLING is how I won the title, and that's how I intend to keep it. What Toom E has in store for us...I'll just have to see. But Sum, I have a feeling I'm NOT going to enjoy it.
SG: Well then...
Limey: Sum, the interview is over.
SG: But don't you want to hear my House Party wrap-up song?
*Limey and Carla look at each other, bemused, before looking back at Sum.*
Both: NO!!!
*Limey and Carla walk off, post-haste. Sum turns to the camera.*
Sum: Oh...well...I'm Sum Guy...and Toomi let me keep some of the cake that exploded onto him! The gunpowder made it taste extra spicy!!! Mmmmm...
*Fade to commercial.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 9, 2006 5:27:18 GMT -5
We return to find Mean Gene standing by in the backstage Interview room
MEAN GENE: Welcome back everyone, now in his first exclusive interview since his loss at Toomi's House Party II ... I give you Curly Long! ...
Curly Long walks into view and is clearly in a bad mood after his PPV loss in the gauntlet, as he gives Mean Gene the finger and then walks straight out of the interview ..
MEAN GENE: Hey wait ... the home audience needs to know your thoughts on your loss in the gauntlet ..
Mr. Big walks into view ...he stops in front of Mean Gene
MR. BIG: .. you want the boss's thoughts on that match? ... he's angry with the draw, he's pissed with the ref's incompetence and the fact that I didn't help even though he told me not to hasn't improved his mood ... but don't worry Gene ... he'll be back on form soon ... just watch this space! ...Now if you don't mind get out of my way!
Mr. Big palms Mean Gene to the floor with one of his large hands before walking off after his boss ...
MEAN GENE: ..back to you at ringside ..
Mean Gene wipes his forehead with a towel as he gets back to his feet
(fade out)
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Jan 9, 2006 5:48:50 GMT -5
*We go backstage and Deamon is pacing back and forth in the locker room. Sum Guy comes in and begins a interview with Deamon.*
Sum Guy: Hello I’m Sum Guy and right now saying something stupid would get my ass kicked. Deamon what do you think about ecent events?
Deamon: You know what? I don’t know. Jacola is in the hospital for massive blood loss, I just lost my shot at the belt, and I still am being stalked by the past! I don’t know anymore! WHY DOES THIS S*** HAVE TO GO DOWN NOW! *Sum takes a step back in fear of Deamon.* Sum, right now, you are the least of my worries, I have to find out who attacked Jacola, who has been stalking me, and take that abomination of a title off of the Australian asshole. This is Deamon’s time to shine people.
Sum Guy: Speaking of that, what do you think of your losing the guantlet?
Deamon: I’m going to admit it, Spaz, you’re one tough SOB. I tried everything and even Jacola tried to put you down. Your tough, but now I’m motivated. Now I can do anything. So I want a rematch. No Gauntlet, no stipulations, just a match. I want to show you I can win. I won’t even bring Jacola. He’s hurt anyway. So at the next PPV, I want it to be jut you and me, for that Title. And that’s the goddamn truth.
*Deamon grabs his bag an leaves. Sum guy is left in the locker room.*
Sum Guy: Well, I guess I’m off the hook.
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Lily-Rose
Mike the Goon
Rockin' All Night.
Posts: 42
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Post by Lily-Rose on Jan 9, 2006 8:24:56 GMT -5
LILLIAN: THe following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring first...ROSA!
*It's My Time plays as Rosa enters the arena and heads down to the ring to a mix of xheers and boos.*
LILLIAN: And her opponent...Tanya FLAIRE!
*Spit plays as Tanya enters and heads down to the ring to a good response of cheers. As Tanya enters the ring, the bell rings, and the two women lock up in the center of the ring. Tanya wins and shoves Rosa into a turnbuckle. Tanya charges at Rosa, but Rosa elbows her in the face, and Tanya staggers back. Rosa gets on the turnbuckle for a crossbody and connects, but Tanya rolls over for a packaged pin.*
1!2!
*Rosa kicks out. Tanya and Rosa get up and lock up once again. Rosa kicks Tanya in the gut and hits a DDT on her. Rosa picks Tanya up and whips her into a corner, and connects the Molly GO Round. Tanya falls out of the corner then, and Rosa pins her.*
1!2!
*Kickout by Tanya. Rosa grabs Tanya's head while she's still on the ground and knocks a few punches into her face. She picks Tanya up off the ground and whips her into the ropes, and goes to hit a dropkick on her, but Tanya grabs the ropes before she can bounce off, causing Rosa to eat canvas. Rosa grabs her back in pain, and Tanya picks her up and connects a brainbuster. She goes to pin Rosa.*
1!2!
*Rosa kicks out. Tanya picks her up and whips her to the corner, but Rosa counters the whip and sends her into the opposite corner, where Tanya stops just before she hits. Rosa charges at her, and Tanya reverse leapfrogs over Rosa, causing her to hit the turnbuckles. She staggers backwards into Tanya, who hits her with a full Nielsen into a handlebar DDT. Tanya pins again.*
1!2!
*Rosa kicks out again. Tanya runs to the ropes and looks for the Napalm Death, but Rosa rolls out of the way causing Tanya to hit the canvas. Rosa gets on top of Tanya and puts her in an STF position. Rosa holds onto Tanya every second she can, but Tanya makes her way over to the ropes and grabs them, and the ref starts to count, Rosa letting go at three. Rosa picks Tanya up, knees her in the gut for good measure, and hits the Northern Lights Driver. Rosa pins Tanya.*
1!2!
*A kickout by Tanya. Rosa picks Tanya up and sets her into position for a protobomb, but Tanya flips over and hits the Burning Wheel Drop. Tanya goes for the pin.*
1!2!3!
*THe bell rings, and Tanya is declared the winner. Rosa gets up, and she and Tanya have a stare down. Rosa extends her hand out to Tanya, who looks puzzled, but accepts the handshake anyway. Tanya rolls out of the ring as Spit plays and heads to the back.*
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