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Post by HMARK Center on Jan 11, 2006 2:07:14 GMT -5
<HMark is seen sitting backstage in street clothes, a bandage on his head, among other unseen injuries>
Allow me to give you all a brief history lesson.
As you all know, I've been a champion in this company, and the WCF, before. I've held more belts in both companies than my boy Kevin Smtih has directed movies.
But here's something some of you might not know: when I've come into a title match as a challenger, be it for the WCF Title, the Tag Titles, Tri-State, or the EWT World...I've never been defeated.
See, when HitmanMark challenges for a championship, he sees it through. Sure, there was the one time when DSR and I went to a draw, but, any other time my name's been placed in a number one contender's spot, the fans have always, ALWAYS been able to bank on me bringing some gold home to Jersey.
And this brings us to the present day. Trik Turner. Young up-and-comer. Punk ass b***h. Turner, by interjecting yourself where you didn't belong, you just threatened to put an asterik next to my record. Sure, I wasn't pinned, and I didn't submit; but the fact is, I failed to win the title. Whether or not that goes down as a loss for me in the EWT record books, I suppose that's up to Toom and EWT management. Regardless, Turner, your rash, idiotic decision has put my mark, something I take GREAT pride in, at risk.
So, <gets up> it's very simple: you put something I hold in high regard at risk, and I'll return the favor. Turner, I've heard what you had to say; I heard you babbling about wanting to make a name at a legend's expense. So, Turner, <smiles>, I guess that means YOUR deadly sin is pride. And if it's your pride you hold dear, little Trik, then I'll just have to put THAT at risk.
It's Gospel, little man.
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Post by paulpodanski on Jan 11, 2006 11:18:09 GMT -5
The camera goes to another part of the backstage, showing Paul Podanski storming around backstage, looking for Momma. Suddenly he bumps into... Hoss Matthews.
Paul: Hey... watch were your standing stick boy!
Hoss: Ow... oh sorry. Erm... Paul, since this week is apparently some kind of open challenge week match wise, do you have an opponent in mind?
Paul thinks a bit.
Paul: Well... being the kind of champion I am... I'm gonna go ahead and just issue an open challenge to any EWT Superstar in the back. Hey boys... if any of you are looking for a shot at my gold this week... it's your lucky day. My only condition is... it can't be anyone from that sick cult, the Psychadeli... or Ultimo Chocula... or a member of the P.T.A... because they all suck.
The crowd cheers visibly in the background.
Hoss: Well... whatever you say. So... basically anyone else in the back locker-room? Outlaw? Trik Turner? E.N. Bunk? Therob? That... furry guy...
Paul looks at Hoss and nods.
Paul: Exactly... so if you boys in the back want to start your little... trek towards the big time, first you gotta get past... the Drunken Demon. And Paul Podanski steps aside for NOBODY. Now if you'll excuse me... I'm going to keep looking for my Momma...
Paul heads back down the hall, shoving Hoss down to the ground as he leaves.
Hoss: Ouch...
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 12, 2006 4:17:15 GMT -5
*Party Starter hits & Spaz makes his way to the ring. He high fives fans on the way. He rolls into the ring & grabs a mic.*
S: This week we have been allowed to choose our own opponents. As soon as I found this out I put a call into someone I have always wanted to face. This won't be a standard OX Title match. Oh no.
*Spaz rolls out of the ring & Reaches under the apron he pulls out a trach can full of weapons & throws them into the ring.*
S: This will be a no DQ, Falls Count Anywhere match!
*The crowd pops as Spaz hands the Ring Anouncer a card with his opponents info.*
S: Play his music!
*Man In The Box plays as Tommy Dreamer appears at the top of the ramp. The crowd goes nuts & starts an ECW chant.*
RA: From Yonkers, NY, weighing in at 260 lbs he is a former ECW World Heavyweight Champion, The Innovator of Violence Tommy Dreamer!!
*Tommy starts walking to the ring with a shopping cart full of plunder. He parks it at the side of the ring & he rolls in the two men shake hands Referree Lee holds up the OX Title. The bell rings & Dreamer slaps Spaz. Spaz slaps Dreamer back & both men smile. They lock up & Dreamer takes Spaz down with an armdrag. Spaz is up & Dreamer levels him with a street sign from Spaz's Trash Can full of weapons. Spaz is up & ducks Dreamer's shot as Dreamer turns Spaz dropkicks the sign into Dreamer's face. Spaz tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Dreamer kicks out easily & rolls out of the ring he grabs a frying pan out of the cart & turns to see Spaz slide out holding a VCR. Spaz swings as does Dreamer. The frying pan smashes the VCR to bits & Dreamer levels Spaz with the frying pan. Spaz gets up slowly & Dreamer hits him with the Frying Pan again. It is bent out of shape & Dreamer tosses it away. He lifts Spaz up & whips him into the shopping cart. Weapons fly out & Spaz slumps down. Dreamer picks up a chair & stands over Spaz. As he is about to nail him Spaz grabs a singapore cane & catches Dreamer in the Grapefruits!*
Crowd: EWT! EWT! EWT!
*Spaz gets up & grabs a TV out of Dreamer's cart. He waits for Dreamer to stand & Spaz hits him in the gut. Spaz then Nails Dreamer with a Down Under DDT on the floor. Spaz tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Dreamer kicks out. Spaz gets up & climbs the apron, then the Turnbuckle. Chair in hand Spaz leaps off but Dreamer gets a boot up & kicks the chair into Spaz's face. Spaz's wound from Toom E's House Party is busted open again. Dreamer tries a cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz kicks out. Dreamer picks a Cheese Grater up off the floor & Starts to grate away at Spaz's head. Spaz is screaming in pain as Dreamer is ripping chunks of flesh off Spaz's head. Dreamer lifts Spaz up & rolls him back in the ring he is now a bloody mess. Spaz gets up & Dreamer charges. Spaz instinctively steps out of the way & as Dreamer comes back off the ropes. Spaz nails him with a Hubcap. Dreamer is bleeding now & there is blood & weapons all over the ring. Spaz slides out & pulls a ladder & a table out from under the ring. He slides them both in & he sets up the ladder. Dreamer is up & he grabs the table. Spaz turns & is nailed in the gut with the table. Spaz drops to his knees & Dreamer nails him in the head with a Sinagapore Cane. Dreamer sets up the table & lifts Spaz up he then whips Spaz off the ropes & tries to slam him through the table but Spaz counters it & he DDT's Dreamer through instead. He tries another cover.*
1 2 NO!
*Spaz kicks out at 2 & 3/4. Dreamer can't believe it. Both men are down & the crowd is giving them a standing ovation. Spaz rolls out of the ring & Sets up another table outside. He rolls back in & picks Dreamer up he takes him outside & lies him on the table. Spaz gets back in the ring & slowly climbs the ladder. Spaz doesn't see that Dreamer is up & back in the ring. Dreamer climbs up the other side of the ladder. Both men meet at the top & trade blows. Spaz nearly falls off but he saves himself. He then catches Dreamer with a good shot. Spaz has control now & he lifts Dreamer up & with a shout of E W F***ING T! He leaps off & nails Dreamer with The Shockwave from the top of the ladder through the table on the outside of the ring! As the crowd starts a HOLY S**T! Chant Spaz drapes the arm over for a cover.*
1 2 3!
RA: Your winner & Still EWT OX Division Champion Spaz!
*Both men are down & the crowd now has a Please Don't Die Chant going. Spaz is the first to stir & he gets to his feet to salute the crowd. Dreamer is able to stand with a little help from Spaz & the two stagger back up the ramp to a standing ovation rejecting help from the EMT's & as we fade to commercial the two man are standing arms raised at the top of the ramp.*
CUT TO COMMERCIAL
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Jan 12, 2006 5:29:10 GMT -5
*Backstage. Limey is standing by, EWT heavyweight championship draped over his shoulder. He gets approached by Sum Guy.*
SG: Mr. Limey, Mr. Limey!!
Limey: Something wrong, Sum?
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I want to know who your opponent is for tonight!
Limey: Well, Sum...I don't know. I don't know who my opponent is...and I don't really give a damn. Do you know why?
SG: I...don't.
Limey: Because Sum...if I pick someone I know I can beat, it'll mean that I don't care about the fans. If I pick someone I have my doubts over...it'll show I don't have confidence in myself. If I pick someone who I know can work a good match and connect with the fans, it'll show I can't connect on my own, SO DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO??
SG: Uh...
Limey: I'm going to prove myself to the fans, to Mister Dangerously, to Carla, and hell...even to you!! I'm going to leave the invitational up to anyone...anyone at all on EWT's roster!! For TOO long, I have been the butt of all jokes on the EWT circuit. I'm the weak link, my arse was carried in all my matches...I got annihalated in each and every one of my matches leading up to the house party, well, Sum, I'M SICK OF IT!!! THESE FANS KNOW IT...
*We hear chants of "limey!" throughout*
Limey: And you know it!! 2006 will be a new year for me. I don't care whether you're a legend, a superstar, an up-and-comer or hell..even Toomi himself! I want to prove myself to whomever doubts that I can carry this gold!!! I have earned my shot!! I have earned my title!! There's so many great atheletes...great performers in EWT, and I want to prove to them that although they may deserve a shot...this belt will remain around my waist!!! Anyone says otherwise...life will GIVE...THEM...LIMES!!!
SG: Strong words. So...have you seen Carla?
Limey: Carla's been...worried about her title as of late. She knows that the gauntlet will be a true test of strength and endurance for all of the GND Division, and with her as the champ, there will be a lot of women gunning for her. She...
*Carla walks in. She looks distressed, but maintains her cool.*
Carla: I checked the matchboard. Limey, somone's already placed their name down. It's...
Limey: No...don't tell me. I'd rather wait to find out....but thanks for checking. Are you feeling alright?
Carla: Yeah...I guess. Someone else has put down their name for a match against me...I guess they weren't too thrilled with the "disrespect" I showed them last week against Linda.
Limey: You mean...
Carla: Yeah...I'll be defending my title against The Connection's Holly Vaughn.
*The crowd boos at the mention of The Connection. Limey puts his head in his hands.*
Limey: Damn...look, I know how those bastards work. If you need me, I'll gladly watch over the ring to keep them out.
Carla: But what about your match?
Limey: Carla, I won't lie to you. My title means so much to me. I've worked me entire life for it, and I'll be damned if anyone wants to take it from me this early. But I can't let you lose your title...the title that means so much to you...on account of some Satan-worshipping freaks interfering for you.
Carla: (Glad.) Thank you...thank you, Limey.
Limey: (Pausing) Anytime.
*Limey and Carla walk off, leaving Sum Guy alone. He tries to speak to Limey, but Limey is gone before then.*
SG: Oh...well...I'm Sum Guy, and I think we made two subtle Luger references in that last interview.
*Fade to commercial.*
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Post by crauswell on Jan 12, 2006 12:33:38 GMT -5
Huge pyros go off as Broken Wings starts up once again and the crowd begins booing as Crauswell walks out to the stage and spreads his fake wings, then begins walking down the ramp once again.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fal! Approaching the ring... from parts unknown, weighing in at 272 pounds, Crauswell!!!
Crauswell quickly climbs into the ring and prepares for his opponent whoever he is.
Announcer: And the scheduled opponent...
School's Out for the Summer starts up and the crowd explodes into both cheers and boos, awaiting the expected opponent.
Announcer: From England, weighing in at 240 pounds... Chance Confidence!!!
The crowd simply keeps cheering for awhile... slowly dying down and then stopping completely as nobody comes out. The booing however continues. Crauswell simply stands there.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen... it appears that Chance Confidence has not made it down to the ring... therefore the winner by default... and still UNDEFEATED.... Chance Confi...
Just as if on cue Confidence emerges out on the stage. The crowd can't believe it. Confidence has a microphone.
Chance: Sorry I'm late... well actually considering my opponent belongs more in a mental home then an EWT ring, I can't say I am sorry.
The crowd cheers as Crauswell simply stands there seething.
Chance: First of all... you shouldn't be wearing a..... Eagle? Falcon? Vulture... whatever bird outfit you are wearing Koko...
Crauswell continues standing there, taking the abuse. Chance smirks to himself.
Chance: Because.. I think you would look SMASHING... in some kind of Cat-like outfit. Because right now you look like a PUSSY!!!
Crauswell runs towards the ropes and shakes them angrily. The crowd smirks and starts chanting. " You're a pussy!!! * clapclapclapclapclap * You're a pussy!!! * clapclapclapclapclap * Chance starts walking towards the ring, dropping the microphone and running forward and sliding into the ring.
Crauswell turns around, only to get laid right into with some stiff chops from Confidence to his chest. He reels back a bit, now against the ropes as Confidence backs up and charges forward for a flying clothesline. However Crauswell sees it coming and grabs his arm, tossing him right out of the ring! Chance goes sailing and SLAMS into the mat. The crowd boos as Crauswell then looks to the outside... and somehow VAULTS over the ropes, landing right on Chance.
Crauswell slowly rises back up as Chance groans, staying down. The Gryphon picks him up and tosses him back into the ring. He quickly follows back inside. Chance soon starts to get back up, only to get lifted up by Crauswell for a powerslam down to the mat into a cover. 1...2....
Chance kicks out. Crauswell looks down and stomps agrinly at Chance's chest... then leaps up for the headbutt right to the same place. Chance yelps and holds his chest in pain. Crauswell gets back to his feet, picking Confidence up as well, lifting him up for a suplex to the mat. Crauswell slowly rises back up...
Chance nips up to his feet! The crowd pops as he does so. Crauswell turns around, just to get hit with the Landing Dropsault to the face. He stumbles back a bit. Chance shrugs and gives him one more... this times it's enough to send the big bird down to the mat. The crowd cheers as Confidence runs forward and leaps up with the twisting splash! It connects and he goes for a cover of his own. 1......
CRAUSWELL POWERS OUT! Chance goes sailing... but somehow lands on his feet... just barely. He looks a bit shocked as Crauswell gets up to his feet once again... looking at Chance and charging forward, nailing him with the leg lariat! He crosses his throat after it connects and starts climbing onto the top of a turnbuckle... Confidence still downs.
He immediately leaps off with another flying headbutt right off the top, connecting with Chance. He groans in pain as Crauswell goes for yet another cover. 1....2.....
Again Chance gets the shoulder up! Crauswell gets back to his feet again and looks down, picking Confidence up to his feet and grabbing him for a chokeslam... He lifts him up high, perhaps going for the Beak Buster. However before he can grabs him for the powerbomb with the other hand, Confidence somehow counters into a tornado DDT!!!
But Crauswell grabs him in MIdair and lifts him up for an Alabama Slam... which he calls the Albatross Slam! Confidence hits the mat hard, bouncing about a foot in the air as he lands. He rolls around in pain as Crauswell goes down to the mat and immediately locks in the Crossface Gryphon Wing.
Chance acks and starts flailing around desperately... tryign to escape. Crauswell however keeps the hold locked in. HE groans, struggling towards the ropes, which aren't too far away. Crauswell however is keeping him from going anywhere.
The crowd cheers as Chance slowly icnhes voer closer and closer towards the ropes, Crauswell trying to stop him, but eventually Chance manages to grabs the ropes. 1...2....3....4....
Crauswell breaks the hold. He is suprisingly having alot of trouble putting Chance away... unlike his other opponents. He looms over Chance, waiting for him to rise, only to get a stiff kick from him in the face! Crauswell acks and stumbles back asn Chance starts nailing a few more kicks, to the legs, the body, and face... Crauswell still reeling backwards.
Chance eventually lets up and finishes it up with a Pele kick! This sends Crauswell down on his back once again. Confidence immediately nips up to his feet, Crauswell staying down too dazed to get up. Chance then signals for the end, charging forward and leaping onto a nearby turnbuckle... then off of it. Confidence Booster!!!
It connects and Chance goes for the cover. 1....2.....
NO!!! Crauswell jsut managed to get the shoulder up. Now Confidence can't believe it. He groans, slowly rising to his feet. This match has taken alot out of him. Crauswell firsts gets onto all fours... to rise up. Big Mistake as Chance leaps onto his back then back for a moonsault off the top, landing on him again! The crowd cheers again as Chance slowly rises back to his feet once again after the desperation move.
Crauswell also manages to get back up to his feet He looks at Chance and charges forward angrily, yet blindly. Confidence hits the drop toe hold, sending Crauswell face first into the padding. The gryphon groans a bit more as Confidence backs up... then waits for the gryphon to rise up, himself now against the turnbuckle. Immediately Chance charges forward for the... Chance Confidence patented Flipping Stinger Splash! Crauswell ducks out of the way, Chance lands on the turnbuckle, he grabs Crauswell from behind for the Diamond Dust... Crauswell catches him from behind, hoists him and Suplexes him right over the ropes! The crowd starts chanting " This is Awesome!!! *clapclapclapclapclap * This is awesome!!! *clapclapclapclapclap * "
Crauswell immediately rolls under the ropes to the outside. Chance is down on the outside, groaning in Pain. He seems almost knocked out right now. Crauswell lifts him to his feet and hoists him up high... looking for perhaps a Gorilla Press Slam! However... Chance continues resisting... somehow manuvering out of it and dropping behind, slowly hoisting Cruaswell up from behind into a HUGE German suplex! But Confidence goes down to the outside again as well, the move taking almost all he had left. Both men are down on the outside now. The two start to slowly rise up as the referee counts. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...
But before the ten count, THe two manage to get up and back into the ring. Chance groans as Crauswell goes for a punch... it's caught by Confidence who counters with a kick, thats caught... Chance tries for the Enziguri, Crauswell ducks... only for Chance to at the last second come back around with another Enziguri. This one takes them back down again.
Chance and Crauswell both slwoly rise up once again after the enziguri... Crauswell going for a standing lariat, but Confidence ducks underneath, going behind again, but Crauswell counters, going behind and throwing Chance for a German of his own... but Confidence flips in mid air, landing on his feet! Crauswell turns around and out of pure instinct, Hits one of the EWT's SICKEST CLOTHESLINES... turning Chance inside out.He groans holding his neck now as Crauswell starts to get annoyed...
He looms once again over Chance, who somehow nips up...facing Crauswell. Big mistake. Confidence gets hoisted up high with a chokeslam position... then grabbed for the Powerbomb... BEAK BUSTER!!! Chance goes down hard... head bouncing of the mat. Then just to be even more cruel than usual, Crauswell immediately locks in the Cross Face Gryphon Wing... Chance groans and taps out immediately. The crowd looks positively shocked.
Announcer: HEre is your winner... Crauswell!!!
Crauswell slowly gets to his feet...looking down at Chance laying there motionless... and then quickly exitting the ring.
Chance rises to his feet... getting a bit of a standing ovation from the crowd... he shrugs, walks over and vaults right out of the ring... walking up the ramp.
Fade to commercial.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,391
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jan 12, 2006 15:30:12 GMT -5
Cut to everyone's favorite announcer Sum Guy with Bolt Bacana.
SG: Hello, I'm Sum GUy, and I once watched Ready To Rumble 20 times in a row. With me now is the man who lost to Virus a while ago, Bolt Bacana. Bolt, after Scott Andrews interfered, what were your thoughts?
BB: Sum, when Andrews interfered, the first thing I thought of was EN Bunk. Yeah, we were friends for the longest, but now, I HATE HIS GUTS. You see, at Toomi's House Party II, I took EN Bunk out because I felt like it. So he decides to return the favor in my match with Spaz. I think it's a shame when that has to happen in a match, so Spaz, I'm issuing a rematch. That's right, me vs. you. No interference, no run-ins, just me and you. I'm out.
Sum Guy: Well, I'm Sum Guy, and the first kiss I got was from my mom.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Jan 12, 2006 19:20:26 GMT -5
Joel is fixated as Mike plays his Gameboy.
Joel: Keep going man...you're almost there!
Mike: So close...I'm going to be the first man to hit all 96 levels of Super Mario World Advance 96 different times!
A couple of random jobbers join in on the action, watching intently as Mike's masterfully thumbs the buttons in an artistic manner.
Mike: Almost there!
Joel and Jobbers: GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! G...
Mr. Big suddenly pushes his way through the crowd of nerds, knocking everyone over in the process, and sending Mike's Gameboy flying. Mike fixes his glasses, and crawls to his Gameboy. The batteries have fallen off.
Mike: I...I didn't save it...I DIDN'T SAVE IT! YOU SON OF A B****H!
Mike runs at Mr. Big, who looks back and smiles. Joel stops him before he can get to Mr. Big.
Joel: Are you crazy, he'll crush you!
Mike: How can I let such an injustice be done?
Joel: Relax, let me talk to him.
Joel hops up onto Mike's shoulder's, so that he almost reaches Mr. Big's height.
Joel: Now listen here, you...
Mr. Big pushes Mike and Joel over. Joel hops back onto Mike.
Joel: Hey, what's that all about?
Mr. Big once again pushes over Joel, and again Joel hops back onto Mike.
Joel: Now cut that out! Now, you can't just go around being a jerk to everyone, and...
Joel notices he's sinking. The camera pans down, revealing Curly Long, kicking Mike in the crotch. A lot. This is causing Mike to slump down, hence, Joel's sinkage.
Curly: You boys seem to be forgetting all the favors I did for you while I was in charge.
Joel: Yeah, like one contendership match.
Mike: My croooootch...
Curly: It's not my fault you guys blew it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go interview more women than you'll ever even dream of getting in bed with. Hell, I just met with a secretary, and that's already more women than you've gone to bed with in your life.
Curly laughs and begins to walk away, Mr. Big in tow.
Joel: Them's fightin' words, shorty.
Curly stops in his tracks, and turns around.
Curly: You're a dead man. BIG!
Mr. Big steps up, and grabs Mike and Joel by the scruffs of their necks.
Mike: Oh...
Joel: Crap.
Big tosses them like yesterday's trash, and they land on the craft service table.
Curly: And if you think you have anything more to say about it, I suggest you meet us in the ring tomorrow. Let's get outta here, Big.
Curly and Mr. Big leave Joel and Mike in their humiliation.
Joel: Mike...we'll not let this injustice stand...
Mike: I just wanted to play Super Mario!
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Post by dorf on Jan 12, 2006 19:41:09 GMT -5
*Camera pans to the back to see Dorf and Diva-Dorf back, but there was a problem...Dorf had most of his face covered by a towel* Dorf: DON'T LOOK AT ME ! Diva-Dorf: Don't worry Dorf...once you say your message the whole world will know what happened right before Iraq and hopefully, we can do something about it. Heiden-Dorf....Heiden-Dorf....damn where is he? HEIDEN-DORF! Heiden-Dorf: (grunts) ME...over here! What do you's...want? Diva-Dorf: YOU HERE! *whispers* so that Dorf doesn't get seen on camera. Heiden-Dorf: ....OH! *Heiden-Dorf moves over as Dorf is blocked. Camera fades to black for commerical*
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 13, 2006 4:55:10 GMT -5
JR: Folks we got a special Cowboy showdown fight for you tonight!
King: This is not what I think it means is it JR?
JR: Only one way to find out! Lets take it to Fink!
Fink: The following match is a Cowboy Showdown fight! there is no DQ! Now for contestants! First From New York City JBL!!!!!!
* JBL's music hits,and out comes the white Limo, and as it stops JBL steps out followed by Jillian Hall. JBL makes his way to the ring,and steps in it,and grabs the mic from fink.*
JBL: I don't know why I'm in this run down arena, and even why I am in this match! I am a business man,and a Wrestling God! Not some hick Cowboy like The Outlaw! And futhe......
*The Four horsemen theme starts up,and out rides the Outlaw to the usual chorus of boos from the fans. The Outlaw stops his horse next to JBLs limo,and gets off.*
JBL: Hey you can't park that filthy thing there! You hear me! I am a Wrestling God!
*Outlaw stops halfway down the aisle,and heads back up to his horse. Outlaw climbs back on his horse,and moves the horse over to the front of the limo,and has it climb on top of the limo. Smashing the wind shield with his hoofs.*
King: Did you see that JR!
JR: I sure did King JBL is not gonna be happy!
JBL: You son of a b****!
*JBL exits the ring,and starts walking toward Outlaw. JBL reaches Outlaw only to get punched in the face,and than clotheslines. As Jbl gets up Outlaw walks down to Jillian Hall,and tips his hat to her. Jillian looks scared at first,but than she gets this look of lust on her face,and Outlaw grabs her,and kisses her.*
King: Wow! That Outlaw has some way with the women! I wish I did!
Jr: King you do! Over the barley legal ones!
King: One more comment like that JR,and I'll show you legal!
*Outlaw turns away from from Jillian to get with a clothesline from hell. Which flips Outlaw over. JBL goes for the cover.*
King: 1-2 ----------
Jr: NO Outlaw got the shoulder up!
*JBL shocked that Outlaw got the shoulder up goes,and grabs a chair,and goes to hit Outlaw with it, but at the last sec Outlaw rolls out of the way,and quickly gets up. JbL goes after Outlaw with the chair, but Outlaw gets a big boot in the way knocking the chair back into Jbl's face busting him open.*
King: Jr JBL is bleeding the ref should stop the match!
JR: Why King? It's not a first blood match?
*Outlaw walks over to Jbl,and picks him up,and punches the open wound making it bleed more. Outlaw than body slams JBL on the cement outside of the ring,and follows up with several elbow drops. Outlaw picks JBL up into a fall away slam position,but runs JBL into the post instead.*
King: DQ him ref!
JR: Its no DQ King! I'm supposed to be the screwup remember!
*As Jbl gets to his feet Outlaw gets behind JBL,and hits him with a German suplex. Out than gets on the ring apron,and hits a jumping leg drop onto JBL. Outlaw than takes a look at the chair,and goes,and grabs it.*
King: He has the chair!
*Outlaw runs at JBL who has just gotten up,and smashes JBL over the head with it. Outlaw than reaches under the ring,and pulls out a table,and sets it up,and than grabs JBL,and throws him back in the ring.*
JR: I don't like the looks of this King.
King: Neither do I JR!
*Outlaw brings JBL over to the corner,and sets him up on the turnbuckle,and than leaps off with JBL hitting the Round up onto the table, but the table doesn't break,and the fans all go ooohhhh,and than a holey S*** chant breaks out, As Outlaw picks an out cold JBL up,and hits a brain buster though the table,and covers JBL.*
Jr: The pin,and the easy three count! Outlaw is a damn thug! Jbl was finished after that Roundup!
King: I know JR. I feel bad for Flex,and Maelstrom when they cross Outlaws path.
JR: Outlaw wants that Tri State title that he says he never lost. I sure hope Flex,and Maelstrom are watching cause Outlaw means business!
*Outlaw walks over to Jillian Hall,and picks her up,and carries her to his horse,and puts her on,and rides out of the arena to a chorus of boos. As the EMTs rush to help JBL.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 13, 2006 6:06:51 GMT -5
(we return to ringside ... the ring is bathed in a pink shade of lighting, and a podium with a block at its base stands to one side of the ring)
As the crowd takes this in some music begins to play ... its 'Moving on Up!' but with an upbeat tempo now. The crowd still chants 'VLB' though, as Curly comes out atop the giant Mr. Big's shoulders ... Curly is sporting a cream suit, and is carrying a black cane ... Mr. Big is in his usual attire. They enter the ring and Curly takes the microphone
CURLY LONG: Welcome to ... EWT is CURLY! ... thats right i'm here, the biggest EWT superstar of them all, to present one of the most celebrated events of the EWT year .. the Harlot Hunt 2006!
Despite knowing that wrestling and reality shows don't mix the crowd, gives a half hearted cheer, but is generally over whelmed by the much more vocal 'Curly sucks' chant
CURLY: .. Hey Big, they think I suck. Of course they shout out the same about Kurt Angle .. and he's a wrestling machine .. so they must love me ...
The Crowd splits into a two, one half chanting 'No we don't' the other half chanting 'yes we do'
CURLY: Anyway ... just before we get the Harlot Hunt under way I need to address the last match your immense superstar of the squared circle was in ... The Gauntlet ...
As Curly rolls his eyes at the mention of the name, the crowd cheers loudly
CURLY: .. You know what though, i'm not going to complain or say I was robbed ... I went in with just my pure wrestling skill .. and frankly ... it wasn't good enough ... mainly because its not how I play this game! ...I cheat, I get bigger guys to hurt my opponents, I distract and disgrace them with scandalous and crude comments! .. so next time .. things will be going my way .. the Long way!
The crowd throws abuse at Curly again
CURLY: ... I'm a scammy award winner!! .. . Damm you ungrateful heathans ... and seeing as I can't take my frustrations out on you imbeciles, i'll do the next best thing and beat it out of those Nyrds! ... but enough of this ...on with the show ...
Some upbeat pop music begins to play as the pink lights swirl around the arena
CURLY: Ladies & Gentlemen, the following will be a guideline of what beauty really can be like ... a montage of the female form as it were ... it is the HARLOT HUNT 2006!! ... the winner of which will become a full time EWT worker for a year ... and win a holiday for two to the beautiful island of St.Lucia ... so ...
A video begins to play on the Toomi-tron ... hundreds of hopefuls are lined up around the block from the arena. It shows the glitter & glamour of the Harlot Hunt potentials ... high heels, short skirts and heavy make-up line the streets, as some male onlookers stare in amazement. it ends with a glitsy image of a group of winners smiling at the camera yelling .... We're in the hunt!!
It cuts back to Curly in the ring. He is now standing behind the podium on a small step-ladder
CURLY: Now without further ado let me introduce the final 7 Harlot contenders! ...
Some gaudy dance music plays as all the scantliy clad hopefuls head to the ring ... as they enter the ring, the music from last year's tournament begins to play .. and here comes Momma with a mike! ..
MOMMA: Now hold on a minute there ... what would a Harlot Hunt be like without me! .. oh yeah! ..
CURLY (to Mr. BIG): Probably 500 pounds lighter ...
MOMMA: What did'yu say, Boy!
CURLY: ... Normally i'd come back with a witty remark for you ... but I have a show to host ...Big!!
Mr. Big grabs Momma and hauls her backstage, she protests loudly at her treatment!
CURLY: ... hopefully this year will be won on talent and beauty ... and not on being the sole survivor ... right ..
Curly turns to the Diva hopefulls
CURLY: OK ladies ... to start us off this week its time to introduce yourselves ...so come up to the podium and say your name and tell us why you should be in the EWT ... OK number 1 your first ..
The first girl walks up she looks to be fairly pretty, with brown pigtails and is wearing a ball dress, however she looks as if she is about 14 years old, Curly grins as she approaches
HARLOT #1: Hi, My name is Flora and I want to be an EWT DIva because I love to watch real women's wrestling like Carla and Linda Ragnal, there so great, this one time I was watching, and I got so excited, that I ....
CURLY (excited): You what .. you what?
FLORA: I made 75 Daisy Chains and then had some tea with Little Miss Cupcake ...
CURLY: Okay then, how old did you say you were?
FLORA (Nervously): i'm .. er .. 18 ..
CURLY (unconvinced): Well thats .. nice .. you can go back in the line now, next up Harlot #2 ..
Harlot two looks like a gymnast & dances her way to the centre Mr. Big returns, with a Big Box, which places in the corner of the ring, the second girl is ready
HARLOT #2: Hey there, I'm Judy and I'm a trained Dancer! ... and I want to be here because I can do this!
Judy instantly does the splits .. as she is impressing Curly the third Harlot has grabbed a baseball bat from under the ring .. she walks up and cracks it over Judy's head ... Judy collapses as Mr. Big takes the bat from ..
HARLOT #3: Listen up shorty! .. the name's Pauline & I'm here to win this thing .. Rhaaarrrggghhh!!!
Pauline looks like she's been working out a bit too much for this and as such looks like a cross between Nicole Bass and the Terminator, Curly smiles an insincere smile showing off the gap in his teeth, whilst the medics attend to Judy and then give the X signal, indicating she has a major injury
CURLY: Looks like we're down to 6 already .. ok c'mon who's next?
An oriental girl wearing slick leather trousers and a tank-top walks up carrying a jazzy looking violin .. she begins to play a brilliant piece of classical music ..
CURLY: .. a-hem, you are?
HARLOT #4: I am Uchida .. and I want to be in the EWT so I can bring some classic style to this dingy metal loving flea pit!
Crowd boos loudly
CURLY: .. Well you certainly have a way with the audience ... mind you when the Midget King is here! .. no one is more loved than me!
The crowd chants 'Die Curly, Die!
CURLY: Oh shut up! .. stupid dumb marks ...where are my smark fans ... yeah I use the internet, I know the terminology! ...
Curly looks across the audience, and fins a group of fans holding a sign ... it says .. IWC hates Curly!
CURLY: .. that's not funny! .. you internet fools are small-time!! ... not big-time like me!! .. ok who's next on this cattle market!
Next to walk up is a woman with blond hair, and an incredibly skimpy bikini ... she swings her hair back like in baywatch and she gives a wink to Curly
CURLY: ... Well I now know who I want to win ... heh
The crowd Boo's
CURLY: ... How can you boo a goddess liker her! you sex desperate muppets!
... The crowd breaks out into a 'She's a Wh***' chant CURLY: Well this is the HARLOT hunt! ... idiots .. your name sexy?
HARLOT #5: Nope its not Sexy its Cherry ... and I want to be in the EWT because I ..
THe sixth contender a pretty young black girl grabs the mike off Cherry
HARLOT #6: Yeah, yeah we already know why Cherry wants to be here ... don't we people!
A 'She's Easy!' chant starts up.
CURLY: ... and who might you be? ...
HARLOT #6: .. The names D'Zee ...and I want to be here in the EWT because I want to wrestle!
Crowd cheers loudly
CURLY: .. Well baby, maybe afterwards you can come back to my lockerroom, and I can show you a few new moves that will leave you dizzy!
Curly gives her a wink
D'Zee: Oh Really! ..
D'Zee walks up to the podium and slaps Curly across the face to a loud cheer from the crowd, she walks back to the line up as Curly holds his face. Cherry is standing in the centre of the ring
CURLY: Your loss lady ... Cherry you can go back in the line now ... right can we have the final contender please ...
A beautiful woman walks on stage, she wears a red dress and is showing some leg,her brown hair falling just below her shoulders
CURLY: and you are?
HARLOT #7: .. I'm Alicia .. and I want to be in the EWT because I ...
she walks up to Curly and Mr. Big
ALICIA: ... really love ...
CURLY: ..go on babe, say those magic words ..
ALICIA: ... Mr. Big!
She seductivly grabs Mr.Big's chest and rubs her hands up and down his leg, Mr. Big has a huge smile on his face .. whilst Curly looks like he just ate a lemon
CURLY: ... You want him over me! ...unbelievable!! ...well there you have it folks we are down to 6 already .. but who do you want to ..
Mr. Big although still enjoying ALicia's interest in him quickly whispers something in Curly's ear
CURLY: Oh yes the box! .. Ladies gather round the box ... now when I open it we'll see how you ladies deal with a terrifying situation ... like when I found out that the Ragnals don't consider myself and Mr. Big a threat! ... ok ready?
The lights dim, so only the spotlight is on the 6 harlot's and the box ... A drumrole plays, Curly releases the catch ... and out springs Deamon Cohln with a loud roar. All the harlots run away up the stage except for Pauline ... whilst Curly has run right to the top of Mr.Big's shoulders ...
CURLY: Well there is your winner ... Pauline! ..the female muscle machine! ... thank you Deamon for being a good sport ...
Mr.Big and Pauline walk up to the stage where the rest of the Harlots stand, with Curly on his shoulders. While Deamon disappears back inside the box
CURLY: So now its time to vote ... who will be eliminated next time? ...only you can decide! ..
The camera pans across the Harlots, as there names come up on screen .. Flora, Pauline, Uchida, Cherry, D'Zee, & Alicia. It comes back to Curly's ugly mug
CURLY: So Cherry fancy coming back to my room, I have some tips to get you one step a head in this profession that i'd like to show you! ...
Cherry takes Curly's hand and heads to the back. Mr. Big and the rest of the Harlots follow afterwards. Howard Finkel has entered the ring. He decides to look inside the box ... he opens it ..and gets pulled in head first!! .. It shuts with a loud click ...
(cut to commercial)
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Jan 13, 2006 8:13:46 GMT -5
*Backstage. Carla is walking alone with her belt.*
Carla: Dammit...how the hell can I defend my belt against so many competi...
*A random person bumps into Carla. Carla looks annoyed.*
Carla: Hey, watch where you're stepping!!!
*It turns out to be Cherry.*
Cherry: Stepping? I can step wherever I want to, ho! This is my show! I'm Cherry, and when I win the Harlot Hunt, my daddy is going to SUE YOU and take your title!!
Carla: Sue me? Take my title?? This is the GND title, honey! You don't go near it until you learn the code of respect!!
Cherry: "Code Of Respect"? Whatever. What I want, I get! And what you don't seem to understand...
*Cherry gets into Carla's face. Carla stares back, unimpressed. The crowd cheers madly as Carla looks to teach the upstart a lesson.*
Carla: Go ahead, b****. Make my day.
Cherry: Huh!! You aren't even worth my time!!
*Cherry storms off. Carla looks furious with her.*
Carla: Damn...personality of a rock.
*D'Zee walks onto screen. We hear a moderate pop for her.*
D'Zee: Tell me about it.
Carla: Hey, you're...uh...D'Zee, aren't you?
D'Zee: You got that right. And you're Carla O Woe, GND Champion. You've got a sweet style. I've been a fan of you, Oceanic...obviously Linda Ragnal and that Rosa girl. You're all talented ladies.
Carla: Well, maybe if you win, we can train you to be as good as I.
D'Zee: Well...we'll just have to see. I don't know if "wrestling" is what Curly and Toom E Dangerously look for in a wrestler.
Carla: Stop right there. I used to think that my only hope was in acting like a bimbo. Not anymore. Now I'm the GND Champion, and women like myself, Linda and Oceanic have shaped this Division up much better than Dr. Clitton ever did. You want to wrestle here? I'd be more than happy to welcome you.
D'Zee: You mean...
Carla: That's right. You've got my vote.
*The crowd cheers. D'Zee looks thrilled.*
D'Zee: Thanks, Carla. Can I call you Carla?
Carla: Sure thing. Good luck in the Hunt.
*Carla walks off. We cut back to D'Zee, proud of herself.*
D'Zee: I think I'm going to like it here...
*Fade to commercial.*
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Post by chanceconfidence on Jan 13, 2006 9:55:28 GMT -5
Chance is walking around backstage, when he bumps right into Principal Pain. The crowd boos immensely as Chance looks up at Pain, Pain looking down at Chance.
Pain: Well well well... glad to see you've returned Chance... well not really. But I'll admit, I thought you would be out more than two weeks.
Chance looks back at Pain.
Chance: That's the difference between you and me Pain... I have the will... what about you?
Pain: Hmmmm... will is fine and all, but it won't protect someone like yourself. Your a mere insect in my eyes...but once you showed promise. However... since you thought trying to go it alone would be a nice change of pace... it seems that you will have to pay for that... because I have already found... your replacement. And this week... I will introduce them...
Chance looks at Pain and nods slowly.
Chance: It won't matter... I was always the greatest P.T.A. member... even more then you Pain! It won't matter who you replace me with... because I just don't care anymore. The only thing I care abotu now... is championship gold.
Pain raises an eyebrow.
Pain: So you held the Tri-State Championship for two or three weeks... SO WHAT?! Anyone can hold a title for that long.
Chance: AT LEAST I HAVE HELD ONE!
Chance glares at Pain, who nods slowly.
Pain: True... touche my poor deluded pupil...
Chance: Oh and by the way Pain... I just spoke with Toom E Dangerously... and he's letting me pick yoru opponent this week... or should I say OPPONENTS?
Pain: What... what do you mean?
Chance smiles and walks off looking all innocent. Pain watches him walk away, looking very suspicious.
Pain: That smug little... he'll get his soon enough.
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Jan 13, 2006 11:33:27 GMT -5
*Deamon walks back from the stage laughing as he has scared the majority of the people out there. The figure that has been haunting him slips by.*
Deamon: Ok, omen number 1
*Deamon continues down the hallway. He stops in front of a poster hanging in the hallway of Spaz with his OX title.*
Deamon: Omen number 2
*Deamon runs into Pauline from the Harlot Hunt, she still has that bat.*
Pauline: Hello!
Deamon: Oh crap, omen number 3. God I hate Friday the thirteenth…
Pauline: What? Something wrong?
Deamon: Uhhh… No, I uh, gotta go. Find my brother, yeah, that’s it…
Pauline: You’re not afraid of me are you?
Deamon: No, it’s just… Hey look, that Judy chick is still alive!
Pauline: WHERE! *she runs off in the opposite direction*
Deamon: Thank god. At least nothing bad has happened to me ye….oh crap…
Kane: Hello Deamon…
Deamon: Sup big man, well I’d love to stay and talk but I’ve got a…
Kane:*In his slow demented voice* I know you don’t have anything to go to Deamon. That’s why I want to talk to you…
Deamon: Well, w-what do you need bro?
Kane: I need a match, and you seem to be open. Let’s see if you can go to hell and back.
Deamon: Yeah, o-okay, I guess we have a deal, I have to go now. *Deamon continues down the hall.*
Kane:*from down the hall as Deamon walks away fast* See you in the ring! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*Deamon walks down the hallway muttering to himself about Friday the thirteenth. He sees a trashcan shake down the corridor. He goes to investigate.*
Deamon: What the…
Boogeyman:*popping out of the can* I’M COMIN’ TO GETCHA!
Deamon:*As he runs down the hall*AHHHHH!! GODDAMNIT I HATE FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH! AND THAT’S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 13, 2006 12:06:09 GMT -5
*Joe Ragnal is walking backstage with his EWT Tag title around his shoulder, as he runs into FLora, the Harlot Hunt contestant.*
JOE: Oh, hi, you must be new here.
FLORA: Oh, God, you're Joe Ragnal!
JOE: Um, yeah, last I checked.
FLORA: OH, God, I loved you when youdo your Fun House matches. All those nifty gadgets that you bring out to the ring are just so nifty. Like that time you thre that pie into Ultimo Chocula's face as he got into the ring at Crapamania 2. Wow, that was just so funny.
JOE:Well, thanks, it's niceto know I have some kind of fanbase around here. So, um, what are you doing after the show?
FLORA: Oh, well, I need to head back to my hotel room and call my parents. They think I'm at cheerleading camp.
JOE: Um, cheerleading camp.
FLORA: Oh, yeah, I had tolie to get my way here. I just need to assure them that the girl they saw on TV wasn't me.
JOE: Um, huh. So...they have no clue you're here?
FLORA:Of course not, silly. They don't want me showing my skin at my age, but I just think, "Hell, I'm already planning to be a cheerleader for the Buffalo Bills, so why not?"
JOE: ...At your age?
FLORA: Sure. THey can be protective of a- um, eightee year old daughter.
*Joe just looks at her a little shaken, a little nervous.*
JOE: Riiiiight...um, tell you what, you do that, tell your parents you love them, and we'll see what we can do from there, kay? *Trying to speak before Flora can get a word in* Kay. Well, I have a match against X-Pac and Test, soooooo, I'll see you around later, kay? Kay.
*Joe fastwalks his way the hell out of there.*
FLORA: ...Wow, he must be in a hurry...
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Queen Rosa
Mike the Goon
All hail the queen!
Posts: 30
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Post by Queen Rosa on Jan 13, 2006 12:29:25 GMT -5
*Rosa is walking backstage when she sees Alicia*
Rosa: Hi. You must be Alicia. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Rosa. So, you want to be in the EWT, huh?
*Alicia nods*
Rosa: Well let me tell you right now, it's not going to be easy. All of us here put our bodies on the line night in and night out to put on a show for the fans. If you really want to make it here, you have to sacrifice everything else. Now are you willing to do that?
Alicia: Yes. I'll do anything to make it here.
Rosa: Good. I like that attitude. Now let me ask you something. Between you and me, do you REALLY like Mr. Big?
*Alicia whispers something in Rosa's ear*
Rosa: Ah, I see. Well good like in the Harlot Hunt.
Alicia: Thanks.
*Rosa walks off. Cut to next segment*
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Post by Koda, Master Crunchyroller on Jan 13, 2006 18:57:12 GMT -5
JR: Are you ready for this next match King? King: You know me JR, I am always ready for great matches, and this one is looking to be a great one.
Lillian is in the ring with Bakuhatsu waiting behind her.
*Stricken by Disturbed plays as Koda comes out to a crowd going wild as his pyro goes off in a blaze of glory*
Lillian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Koda Kazar!
The crowd goes wild as Koda gets into the ring.
Lillian: And his opponent, from Japan, Bakuhatsu!
The crowd boos the Japanese hoss.
The ref rings the bell as Koda and Bakuhatsu stare each other down while circling each other.
Bakuhatsu grabs Koda and whips him into a corner. Bakuhatsu rushes at Koda, but Koda kicks him in the face and goes to the top rope. Koda gives him a missle dropkick, but it doesn't phase the monster. Koda then bounces off the ropes and gives him a dropkick to the knee. Bakuhatsu still stands, so Koda bounces off of the ropes again and dropkicks him in the nose, finally making the hoss fall down. Koda then goes outside onto the apron and gives Bakuhatsu a slingshot senton splash. Koda then runs to the opposite ropes and goes outside onto the apron and gives Bakuhatsu a legdrop to the front of his head. Koda goes for a pin.
1! 2! Kickout!
JR: Oh, Bakuhatsu kicks out! Koda tried so hard to bring him down!
Bakuhatsu throws Koda off and gets up. Bakuhatsu gives Koda a power slam followed up with a standing splash. Bakuhatsu then picks Koda up and gives him a big Samoan Drop. Bakuhatsu signals for the end and lifts Koda up for an Iron Claw Slam( a Chokeslam-like move, but the user holds their opponent's head in an Iron Claw instead of holding their neck in a choke.). Bakuhatsu lifts Koda into the air, but Koda rolls his way into a C4 armbar. Koda keeps it locked in as Bakuhatsu tries to roll out of it. Koda eventually rolls him into the center of the ring and Bakuhatsu taps out.
Lillian: Here is your winner, Koda Kazar!
Koda refuses to let goe of the hold. The ref rings the bell for extra help, but Koda refuses to let go until a very load pop is heard. Koda lets go as Bakuhatsu's arm falls limp.
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Post by Joel, Mike, Currently...? on Jan 13, 2006 22:59:17 GMT -5
"Moving on Up" by the M People plays, as Mr. Big and Curly make their way down the ring. Curly is looking especially sure of himself, which he should be, what with having Mr. Big by his side. Big simply steps up onto the apron while Curly gets in the ring via the stairs. Curly calls for a microphone, and addresses the crowd.
Curly: Will the yokels in the crowd please shut up, the Scammy Award Winning Curly Long has something to say, and un-like most things in your life, including your life itself, it's very important (boos for Curly). Your booing only makes it more true. Now, you may have seen yesterday, when Mr. Big, the Nyrds, and myself had a little altercation. It was a disgusting display, and I'm sorry you all had to see it. But I'm a kind man...I'm willing to forgive and forget. So Joel and Mike, if you boys could just come down here and apologize for wasting our time yesterday, I think I'd be willing to forgive you!
The crowd throws massive boos toward Curly, as he smiles a vile little smile.
OH, OOOOOOOOOOOH...
The Nyrds' new theme of Anthrax's "I'm the Man" hits, only it skips to the rapping instead of beginning with the usual guitar version of "Hava Nagila", so it keeps with the Nyrds' hip-hop theme. So there.
Joel and Mike hip and hop down to their usual pop, and Mike does his Ron Killings dance down the ramp. They get up into the camera, and rap along with a few of the lyrics. Eventually, they both slide into the ring, and try to get face to face with their foes...but find it's impossible for both Curly and Big. Joel asks for the mic, and Curly hands it to him, expecting said apology.
Joel: I bet you think you're real good, don't you? In reality, you two should be apologizing to us. But since we're the nice nerds we are, I'd just like to say...we're sorry.
Curly's smile turns into a full on grin.
Joel: ...Sorry you're so short! (the crowd roars with laughter) I mean come on, what happened, buddy? Did you lose your shins in the war or something, and they sewed your feet to your knees?
Curly's grin turns into a sneer. Big reaches forward and grabs Joel by the neck, and lifts him up into a chokeslam, and the ref calls for the bell for the match to start. Mike suddenly sweep-kicks Big's feet out from under him, and Big falls, dropping Joel on top of him. The ref counts to two, but Big throws Joel off of him like a rag-doll, which is the best analogy I could find. Big and Joel are considered the legal men, so Big and Mike are sent to their respective corners. Joel and Big get to their feet, and Big soon towers over Joel. Joel zooms to the ropes, and comes off to hit a low-aimed drop kick to Big's shin. Big reaches down in pain, but soon gets over it. By that time, Joel is already coming off the ropes again, and once more hits a drop kick to Big's shin. This time, it takes a little longer to get over it.
Joel heads for the ropes yet again, and this time, Mike hops in to help out, and they hit a dual drop kick to Big's achey shin. Finally, Mr. Big tumbles over. Joel and Mike begin working over Big's leg, stomping on it and stretching it, and soon, Curly rushes in to help. Curly dropkicks Mike, who is on his knees, in the back of the head, knocking him over. Joel heads after Curly, but the ref begins to shoe Long back to his corner. Curly furiously kicks the ref in the gonads, and he falls to his knees, and begins to roll around the ring with Joel, and the ref calls for the bell. The match has been thrown out. But that doesn't stop the fighting, as all four men brawl for all, Mr. Big himself having a disctinct advantage, but soon held at bay when Joel and Mike kick his shins a lot. Soon, pink shirt security runs down and seperates the two teams, using a lot more men on Mr. Big, because, well, he's really big. The screen fades to commercial as more security floods the ring...
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 14, 2006 0:18:07 GMT -5
*Spaz is standing backstage with the OX Title over 1 shoulder. His head is bandaged after his match with Tommy Dreamer. SUn Guy is standing by.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy & I mark for Katie Vick. I am here with Spaz. Spaz not long ago in the very spot you are standing in now Bolt Bacana issued a challenge to you for the OX Title what do you have to say.
S: I heard Bolt's comments Guy & I kinda agree, he didn't get a fair shot. So I accept his challenge. At the next PPV it will be Spaz v Bolt Bacana for the OX Title. But be warned Bolt you saw my match with Dreamer, you saw my match with Omega. You have seen what I am willing to do to keep this title arpund my waist. You better be ready to put your career on the line coz that is no less then what I expect when you step into that ring with me. The Spazphiles expect that. So Bolt get ready for the fight of your life.
*Spaz walks off.*
SG: So at the next PPV it will be Spaz v Bolt! I'm Sum Guy & I was an extra in No Holds Barred!
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Post by Chrysta on Jan 14, 2006 1:14:44 GMT -5
*Ms. White and Chrysta are backstage in the Connection locker room, Chrysta pacing around with her emotrionless look.*
White: Chrysta, honey, does it really matter?
Chrysta: Ms White! I'm certain I've told you before not to question me.
White: I know, I know, I'm sorry, but it's just...so what if Holly's getting a title shot before you? After all, if she doesn't win, you can still win it next Wednesday, right? That's when the Girls Night Out Gauntlet is, right?
Chrysta: It is not the title I care for, Ms. White...it is the fact Ms. Vaughn believes herself to be such an 'emotionless' basket case, destroying her opponents as she damn well pleases. She seems to forget, however, that there is only one Ice Queen around here.
Holly: I agree.
*Ms. White and Chrysta turn around to see Holly Vaughn standing near the doorway. Ms. White looks shocked, while Chrysta looks with no emotions.*
Holly: And that would be me.
Chrysta: You believe yourself to be an emotionless being?
Holly: If you had experienced what I had the day my life changed, and the Connection came into play, you would be the same way.
Chrysta: So you say. However, my experiences are what made me truly cold. The day my mother died of pneumonia in the snow. If you had lost the only person in this world who would love you no matter what, you too would be as malicious as I.
Craig Kendo: Protoge. Disciple.
*Craig Kendo walks in on the arguing women.*
Kendo: It does not matter which of you is the more sadistic of the two. What matters is as each day steps by, our message shall grow stronger and stronger. And with one of you as the Girl Next Door champion, whether it is Carla vs. the Protoge, or the two of you in some Gauntlet, it shall be known throughout the lands what our message is! Now...is that clear?
*The two girls respond without taking their eyes off one another.*
Chrysta: Understod.
Holly: Yes, Lord Kendo.
Kendo: As I would hope. Now, Protoge...prepare for your match.
*Kendo walks off, leaving the two women to stare at each other.*
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Jan 14, 2006 1:24:47 GMT -5
-=Scene=- Senor Splash and “Delicious” Dick are backstage warming up for their match. By warming up, I mean Senor is taking a swig of the sauce and reading “Grande Gals” magazine while Dick is making out with a girl that’s probably one fourth of his age. Dick suddenly pushes the young broad off of him, adjusts his chef’s hat, and punches Splash on the shoulder.
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- Not quite Mrs. P…
-=Senor Splash=- Huh?
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- Oh…nothing…nothing….hey, did you get us opponents for tonight?
-=Senor Splash=- Sure did…
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- And?
-=Senor Splash=- An’ we’re gonna kick der ashshshshshses!
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- Good enough for me. Let’s make this quick, I got some ham to baste.
-=Senor Splash=- Lishhen Dick…I saw that broad you got…ain’t no ham…that’s effin JURASSIC MEAT you got!
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- Ehhhhh you’re just jealous. Come on, it’s time.
-=Scene=- Splash makes a face at Dick and pushes him away in a drunken stupor. We cut to the ring where Luisa Gagcia is standing. “Sex Machine” by the US Bombs starts to play as the two miscreants stumble out.
-=Luisa Gagcia=- Ladies and Gentleman, making their way to the ring, Bend Over and Say AHHHHH!
-=Scene=- Dick reaches into his apron and pulls out a container of gravy. He undoes his apron and starts lubing his saggy middle aged manboobs with the gravy and offers himself to the women at ringside…none take. Meanwhile Senor Splash is rubbing his mask and seems to be more annoyed by the loud music and obnoxious people than anything else. The two men get into the ring and seem to begin arguing over who their opponents are. As they are arguing the lights in the arena go completely out. The crowd noise elevates at the anticipation of who could be coming out. GWAR’s “Sick of You” begins to play. The lights return to reveal none other than GWAR in the ring! Oderus and Jizmak start pounding on Splash while Flattus and Balsac take down Dick. Beefcake is stomping around the ring and motioning to the crowd. Senor fights his way to his feet and head butts Oderus. Jizmak pushes Splash into Beefcake. He lifts him up and drops him in a Warrior-esque gorilla press slam. Oderus dives on top of Splash and the confused ref falls for the pin.
-=Ref=- 1..2..
-=Scene=- Slater boots Oderus off of Splash, but is quickly held back by Flattus and Balsac. Beefcake begins to pound on the held back Slater. He backs up and motions that he’s going to tackle Dick. Beefcake charges, but Slater rolls out of the way, leaving Beefcake to clothesline Flattus and Balsac. The sheer strength of the mighty Beefcake causes their obviously fake heads to fly off of their bodies and into the crowd. The two headless men now dance around as fake blood spurts from their gaping wounds. Beefcake tries to comfort the two, but behind him Slater is ready. Meanwhile Splash and Oderus have been duking it out on the other side of the ring. Jizmak goes to grab Splash from behind, but Slater pulls him off and takes him down with a quick clothesline. Splash and Slater then give the “You!” point to Oderus. Slater grabs Oderus by his use fake member and tears it clean off. Green liquid squirts from the wound onto the tag team as Slater gives Oderus the BIG OLE TEXAYS BOOT DE INCEST and knocks him clear out. Dick falls on Oderus and the ref, covered in red and green liquid, begins the count.
-=Ref=- 1...2...
-=Scene=- Beefcake dives on top of both men interrupting the count. Splash is about to grab Beefcake, but a huge prop axe comes from out of no where and chops off Splash’s arm. Splash looks down at the fake arm on the ground, checks out the wound that’s squirting pure tequila, and begins to scream like a girl. The ref calls for the bell as a confused Jizmak holding an axe cocks his head. Luisa Gagcia announces that due to disqualification, the winners are Bend Over and Say Ahhhhh! Slater gives Beefcake a lethal western lariat and destroys him. Splash and Dick both look at Jizmak and his damned axe. Senor orders Dick to attack. Rod Stewart’s “If You Think I’m Sexy” begins to play. Slater begins gyrating towards Jizmak and humping the axe much to the disgust of everyone. Jizmak jerks back, no pun intended, and stabs himself with the axe, causing more red liquid to squirt from him. We leave this disgustingly awful match with two victors and a whole lot of liquid spewing everywhere.
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