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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jan 16, 2006 23:57:35 GMT -5
*Rosa is backstage in the locker room when HBH enters*
HBH: All right, I thought about what you said, and I apologize. If you don't want to get in the middle of this thing between Gasoline and myself, you don't have to.
Rosa: Thank you.
HBH: And that's why I'm going to MAKE you do it.
Rosa: What are you talking about? You can't make me do anything. I am my own person and--
HBH: I can make my own choices, blah blah blah. You should know by now that I always get what I want. So I decided to take matters into my own hands.
Rosa: What do you mean?
HBH: I mean next week, it's you against me. If you win, you're free to do whatever you please. But if I win, you have to do whatever I say.
Rosa: What the hell has gotten into you lately? All I've been hearing from you for days now is this thing with Gasoline. It's almost like you've become possessed.
HBH: You damn right I'm possessed. He screwed me out of winning the EWT title. I guarantee that's the last time he'll ever mess with me. And you are going to help, that is, if I beat you.
Rosa: Fine, you're on. But don't be surprised if the outcome isn't to your liking.
*Rosa walks off*
HBH: Ah, but it will. I'll make sure of it.
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Maelstrom
AC Slater
The Tide Will Turn!
Posts: 236
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Post by Maelstrom on Jan 17, 2006 6:15:02 GMT -5
*Back at Ringside, and Lillian is in the ring*
LILLIAN GARCIA: The following match is for one fall .. and is for the EWT Tri-State Title ...making his way to the ring, weighing in at 284 pounds . . MAELSTROM!!
*Maelstrom's Music hits, his Pyro goes off and Maelstrom heads out from the back ... he is looking severly pissed off and has a bandange wrapped around his head from Flex's viscious attack earlier. He walks slowly down to the ring a steady 'Maelstrom' echoing from the crowd, once inside he does a few stretches and removes some squashed octopus from his hair*
LILLIAN GARCIA: .. and his opponent, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, he weighs in at 212 pounds and is a former EWT World Champion ... Moxie!!
*Moxie's classic "La Liberacion of our Awakening" by Ill Nino can be heared as he comes out from the backstage area ... the crowd cheers even more as they know they are going to see a classic match up. Moxie heads to the ring, and shows his appreciation tot he crowd from two of the corner post, he then jumps down and heads to the centre of the ring. The two men face each other as the Ref holds up the Tri-State Title ... *
The Bell rings
Like jungle cats the two men circle each other, neither one wanting to make an early mistake, They tie up and after a breif struggle Moxie manages to twist Maelstrom's arm like a wrench, but Maelstrom reverses the move putting Moxie in serious pain. Moxie attempts to flip out of this and reverse the pressure, but Malestrom holds on and wrenches the arm some more! ... Moxie now straining against the pain tries another series of rolls and this time manages to flip his way out of the predicament and land next to the far right turnbuckle.
The crowd cheers and applauds
They tie up again and this time Maelstrom overpowers Moxie and throws him into the corner, he follows up with a series of lefts and rights. Moxie tries to cover up from the volley, but eventually Maelstrom stops and Moxie takes the opportunity to duck around Malestrom and try a quick roll up!
1,2 ...
Maelstrom kicks out ... Moxie not wanting to give Maelstrom a second's breath runs off the ropes and naills a low dropkick to the still kneeling Maelstrom. This is followed with a swiftly locked in leglock ... Maelstrom however kicks Moxie off and climbs back to his feet! ... Moxie unrelenting gives MAelstrom a quick jab, and then applies a headlock and puts maelstroms arm over his shoulder ... Moxie goes for the suplex but Maelstrom is too heavy and reverses and nails a clean suplex of his own! ... the tide is now swinging Maelstroms way, he picks up Moxie and lifts him into a piledriver position ... but falls face first! ... a Front Face Pancake type manouver! ... that uses all of Maelstrom's weight as Moxie writhes in pain. Maelstrom covers ...
1,2 ..
Moxie kicks out . . . Maelstrom locks in a headlock, they get up and Maelstrom Irish whips Moxie into the ropes, Moxie comes back ducks the Big Boot attempt, he bounces off the opposite ropes and nails a spinning head scissors on the big man! taking him down. Moxie locks in the Buffalo sleeper much to the dismay of Maelstrom who was trying to reach the ropes ... Moxie desperatley tries to keep Malestrom away from the ropes .. but his long legs eventually reach the ropes forcing Moxie to break the hold! .. Maelstrom gets up and turns straight into the 'Quick Fix' DDT!! .. cover ..
1,2,3 ....
Maelstrom kicks out, Moxie can't believe it! but he doesn't allow himself to be distracted and stomps Maelstrom keeping him on the mat. Moxie signals to the audience qand climbs to the top turnbuckle ... could this be Moxie's own Flying Elbow Drop? ... He Leaps! .. Maelstrom rolls out of the way!! .. Moxie holds his elbow in pain as he stumbles into a kick to the gut from Maelstrom ... Maelstrom grabs Moxie's arm and twists it into a Pump-Handle Slam! .. cover ...
1,2 ...
Moxie counters into a cradle pin ...
1,2 ...
Maelstrom shoves his way out of the pin and manages to rise before Moxie ... Maelstrom annoyed grabs Moxie by the throat! ChokeSlam!! .. cover ..
1,2,3 ....
Moxie barley kicks out. With moxie down Maelstrom signals for the whirlpool! ... standing by the ropes that face the entrance way Malestrom lifts Moxie into the Whirlpool position! ..
Some loud horse sounds suddenly can be heard from the speakers .. and here comes Outlaw riding a horse ... as he reaches the ring the Horse rears up and strikes Maelstrom in the back with its hooves! ... Maelstrom drops Moxie, who rolls to the outside. Somehow Maelstrom manages to turn around to be greeted by a flying forearm from the Outlaw, who has jumped from the horse's back and over the top rope!. Outlaw continues to pound away on Maelstrom! .. The Ref having seen enough calls for the bell!
bell rings
LILLIAN GARCIA: Your winner .............. by Disqualification! .... Maelstrom!! ...
*The crowd boo's as Outlaw continues to beat on Maelstrom! Outlaw removes his hat in fury and then hits a viscious looking Reverse STO!! ... Outlaw looking pleased with himself picks his hat up and waves to the crowd .... meanwhile Moxie grabs a chair and slides back into the ring .. Outlaw on seeing Moxie and the chair quickly bails and rides his horse to the top of the stgae area. Moxie checks on Maelstrom, who's bandaged wound is bleeding profusly once again. Whilst Outlaw watches from the main stage, gloating about how the Tri-State Tile will be his !!*
(cut to safety commercial)
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Post by #Classic Hi-Definition X on Jan 17, 2006 9:21:54 GMT -5
*Back from commercial. "Sexy Guy" hits*
Ring Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 232 lbs., the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*HBH walks out without Rosa and is completely booed by the fans. He has a crazed look as he enters the ring. He doesn't do his usual posing*
RA: And his opponent...
Turn it up!
RA: From Westbrook, ME, weighing in at 208 lbs., Scotty Too Hotty!
*The crowd pops as Scotty comes out and does his usual dancing routine. He is immediately attacked by HBH as soon as he enters the ring*
The bell rings to start the match. HBH is pounding away with a barrage of lefts and rights. He drags Scotty to the corner and pummels him some more. Then he runs at him with a knee to the head. He picks up Scotty and performs a delayed vertical suplex. HBH climbs to the second rope and hits a diving elbow. Then he picks him up, whips him to the ropes, and connects with a spinning heel kick. He follows up with a standing moonsault. HBH then sets up for some Sweet Chin Muzak. He hits it, then applies the Sharpshooter to add insult to injury. But by this point, Scotty is knocked out, so the ref calls for the bell.
RA: Here is your winner, the Heartbreak Hitman Bret Michaels!
*Then all of a sudden, "Gas Power" hits and Gasoline appears on the stage. The crowd goes wild*
Gas: Bravo,Bret. You've really outdone yourself this time. I mean, forcing Rosa to help you in our match? You've reached an all-time low. But speaking of our next match, how about we raise the stakes a little? You and me, one-on-one, in a Last Man Standing Match.
*Crowd pops*
HBH: A Last Man Standing Match? You're on! But just remember this. When the match is done, and I'm the last one standing, you're going to regret the day you ever f***ed with me!
Gas: We'll see about that.
*Gas raises a fist in the air and the crowd cheers. He walks to the back*
*Cut to next segment*
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Post by craigkendo on Jan 17, 2006 10:11:58 GMT -5
*"RIP" hits, and The Connection make their way out. Holly Vaughn and Chrysta do not acknowledge each other, leaving Tony Chang and Craig Kendo on either side of them.*
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall! Making their way to the ring, to be accompanied by Holly Vaughn, Miss White and the Ice Queen Chrysta Ragnal...from Newark, New Jersey and Seoul, Korea respectively, Craig Kendo..."The Viper", Tony Chang...THE CONNECTION!!!
*The Connection hold their arms out in prayer. Chang screams angrily at the booing fans, Kendo merely observes them. The Connection enter the ring. Kendo grabs the microphone.*
Kendo: As you HEATHENS will know, we, The Connection, have been given the honour of choosing our own opponent, as have EWT's roster and alumini. However...we feel that you are not worthy to witness a true test of strength. We need only to sate our bloodlust. Hence, we are to face...one opponent of our choosing.
*The crowd boo as it's revealed that they are simply wasting their time with a handicap match.*
Kendo: May our selected VICTIM make his way to the ring.
*There is a pause...then none other than Joel Gertner makes his way out. He is cautious about approaching The Connection, but the crowd pop for him anyway. Gertner approaches the ring and climbs to the apron…Holly Vaughn and Tony Chang double hip-toss Gertner in!!! The bell sounds, and this “match” is underway!*
*Gertner, hit by the double hip-toss, scrambles to his feet...and runs into Craig Kendo, who kicks him mercilessly in the gut, doubling him over. Kedno then lifts Gertner high as the rest of The Connection hold their arms out in prayer...Kendo hits the ENLIGHTENMENT!!! Chang then puts his foot over Gertner for the pin as the crowd boo this act of malice.*
1, 2, 3!!!
Winners: The Connection.
*As Tony Chang stomps away at Gertner, eventually standing on Gertner's back, stomping down, then performing a standing shooting star press onto Gertner, Kendo grabs the microphone.*
Kendo: This was but a taste of our power. We SHALL deliver our message, and with the brutality of our two deadly, cold-hearted assassins, Chrysta Ragnal...
*Chrysta nods in acknowledgement as the crowd chant "SHE'S NO RAGNAL!!!" Miss White shushes the crowd.*
Kendo:...and Holly Vaughn...
*Holly again nods in acknowledgement. Chrysta stares her down, and Holly stares back, both women displaying signs of conflicting interests.*
Kendo: ...the coveted championship held by the so-called "honorable one" shall be in our capable hands. And none of you HEATHENS will be able to stop it...for it is destiny!!
*Kendo throws down the microphone as "RIP" hits. The Connection leave the ring, except for Tony Chang, who waits patiently for Gertner to rise up...before nailing him with the VIPERBITE KICK!!!! Chang then holds his arms out, screaming, and then rushes out of the ring to join his bretheren.*
*Fade out...*
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Post by Poker Joker on Jan 17, 2006 10:14:37 GMT -5
(The scene opens up in a night club. The lights are down low, with the exception of the strobes coming off the dance floor. Techno music is booming in the background. The place is filled with coolies of all nationalities and lifestyles having a good time. The camera pans over to the door. In through it walks Ultimo Chocula, wearing his best pin striped suit and is checking out the action. Right behind him is Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. Billy looks a little more nervous than Chocula, and is dressed much differently. Billy has on a lime green Hawaiian shirt with purple surf boards on it. He also has on a pair of khaki pants and some blue cowboy boots. He stands beside Ultimo Chocula and gazes around with apprehension.)
*CHOCULA*: (makes a big exaggerated sniffing motion) You smell that, Billy? You smell it? It smells like.....................P....!
(Chocula gives Billy a nudge. Billy still seems nervous, though.)
*BU*: You're a class act, Ultimo. Say, are you SURE about this outfit?
*CHOCULA* (looking Billy over): What? Yes, I'm f****** sure. You look like a total stud! Women are going to drool over you!
*BU* (looking incredulously at Chocula): You're kidding me, right? A lime green Hawaiian shirt and a pair of cowboy boots?! I look like John Wayne at a Jimmy Buffet concert!
*CHOCULA*: Bull****! Its a great combination. Cowboy boots tell a woman that you're a worker and you mean business. You have a "Brokeback Mountain" thing going.
*BU*: Isn't that movie about......
*CHOCULA*: F... it! Who cares? The Hawaiian shirt, though, says you're cool and relaxed. Haven't you ever seen John Travolta in "Saturday Night Fever?"
*BU*: No, but I saw April Showers in "Saturday Night Beaver." That was a low-budget porn and THEY didn't even wear an outfit this tacky.
*CHOCULA*: Do they wear ANY kind of outfits in porn films? Trust me! You're a p... magnet.
*BU*: But the guy at the door actually asked me if I was gay, retarded, or both.
*CHOCULA*: Of course he did! He's fashion incompetent! Geez, why do you think they make him stand OUTSIDE the club? Now, relax, will ya. We're going to find you a babe.
*BU*: I'm not so sure about this.
*CHOCULA*: What? What's the problem? Are you doubting me?
*BU*: Well, yeah. Look around! These are the hottest women I've ever seen in one place in my life! No offense, but I think you're out of you're league. I've seen the types of women you hook up with at those punk rock shows you're always going to. Tattoos, piercings, neon pink mohawks, and god knows what else!
*CHOCULA* Oh really? Watch this, young padowan.
(Chocula walks up to a random woman and makes eye contact. He leans in and whispers something into her ear. The woman looks at him like she doesn't believe what he just said. Chocula looks back at her perking his eyebrows. Suddenly the woman sticks her hand down his pants and starts feeling around. Her eyes get big and grabs Chocula's arm, taking him into the coat check room. Chocula turns back to Billy and mouths "I'll be right back" before disappearing behind the door.)
(45 minutes later)
(The woman comes out grinning ear to ear, fixes her hair and walks away. Chocula comes out later straightening his tie and walks over to the table where Billy is sitting, who looks totally bored.)
*CHOCULA*: And that's how the game is played. So, do you believe me now?
*BU*: Ok, I admit. I was wrong to doubt you. You do know what you are doing. Do you think you can teach me that trick?
*CHOCULA*: Sorry, you're not quite ready for that trick, seeing as how you've never picked up a woman in your life and you're hung like half a pack of Certs.
*BU*: Hey!
*CHOCULA*: Now, let's get down to bidness. You ready to visit the land of milk and honey?
(Billy starts to ease up. He rolls his shoulders, cracks his knuckles, and starts looking around.)
*BU*: I'm totally ready. Alright, so where do we start? (Billy spots a young girl in a blue mini-skirt over by the bar. He quickly points at her) What about her, huh?
(Chocula slaps Billy's hand down.)
*CHOCULA*: DAMN IT! Don't do that! If you point at them, its like you're giving yourself away, ya knob! You wanna sneak up on them, like a wild lion on an unsuspecting gazelle!
*BU*: Ok! Yeah, yeah! I got it! Like a lion on a gazelle! *Grrrrrowllllll!*
*CHOCULA* (with a bizarre look on his face as he stares at Billy): Uh... yeah, man. Just like that. Now, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go over there and I want you to give her your best line.
*BU*: Got it!
*CHOCULA*: Now, what line are you going to use on her?
*BU*: Well, I've got one that Carl Guerrero told me to use, once.
*CHOCULA*: Lemme hear it.
*BU* (obviously trying to recite from memory): I'd buy you a drink, but I'd be jealous of the glass.
(Chocula ponders this line for a second and then shakes his head.)
*CHOCULA*: Crap! What kind of garbage is that? Here! What you do is walk over to her and say this....
(Chocula whispers something into Billy's ear. Billy listens and then starts looking at Chocula like he just stepped off a space ship)
*BU*: Are you SURE about that?
*CHOCULA*: Absolutely! Dames go gooey for that stuff.
*BU*: If you say so.
(Billy walks over to the girl. He leans up on the bar next to her, and flashes his best smile. She looks at him and smiles back, then takes a quick gander at his clothes. She gives a look of disgust, then looks back up at Billy, forcing a smile.)
*BU*: Hey.
*GIRL*: Uh... Hey.
*BU*: Wanna go halfsies on a bastard?
(The girl's expression turns to shock.)
*GIRL*: WHAT?!
*BU*: I said do you wanna go.....
(Billy doesn't even finish the sentence, again. The girl promptly tosses her drink in Billy's face, gets off the stool and walks off. Chocula suppresses his laughter and hurries over to Billy.)
*CHOCULA*: So? How'd it go, chief?
(Billy spits a stray ice cube out of his mouth.)
*BU* (disgusted): Well.... I found out that she likes Vodka Sours... after she threw one in my face.
*CHOCULA*: She DID that? Why?
*BU* (sarcastically): You don't think it was something I SAID, do you?
*CHOCULA*: What? No! No! Not a chance. (Chocula snaps his fingers) Hey! Did you put on any of that after shower spray you had back at the arena.
*BU*: Huh? No, you said not to.
*CHOCULA*: Well, I was wrong. Seriously. I don't know what I was thinking. Slop some of that stuff on yourself. Honestly! You can't use a quality line like that one I gave you and expect it to work if you ain't wearing that cologne.
*BU* (shaking his head): I dunno. I noticed in the shower area that Curly Long was carrying a bottle of the kind of stuff. Maybe you were right.
*CHOCULA*: Billy! I gave you a predator's line! Now you can't use a predator's line if you don't come across like a predator, and that includes the smell. Put some of it on.
(Billy sighs reluctantly and pulls the bottle out of his back pocket. He puts a dab of the after shower cologne on his hand a rubs it into his neck.)
*CHOCULA*: More.
(Billy gives Chocula a wide-eyed look, but then takes some more cologne and dabs it on himself again.)
*CHOCULA*: More, more more! Don't be a wuss!
(Billy gives Chocula another look, but obliges him. He takes a bunch of the scent and starts rubbing it all over himself. Chocula cringes at the oder as he does so, but fights to keep a straight face.)
*BU*: Is that enough?
*CHOCULA*: Perfect! Go get 'em tiger! Try that hot little tamale over by the stairs.
(Billy walks up to a brunette woman and her friend with bleach-blond hair. The two are talking about something as Billy walks up.)
*BU*: Hey!
(The two look at Billy with disapproving glances.)
*BLOND*: What do you want?
*BU*: Well, I was...
*BRUNETTE*: WHOA! What is that smell?
*BU*: That's my cologne. Do... do you like it?
*BRUNETTE*: It smells like you took a bath with a bottle of ammonia.
*BU*: I told my friend....
*BLOND*: And those clothes! What are you suppose to be? John Wayne at a Jimmy Buffet concert?
*BU* (shocked): That's what I told....
*BRUNETTE* (to her friend): C'mon. Let' get out of here before I suffocate.
*BLOND*: No kidding! Damn! Get away from us, mister!
(The two girls walk off. Billy just sits there staring at them as they leave, obviously disappointed. Chocula again walks over to Billy after suppressing his laughter.)
*CHOCULA*: So?
*BU*: What the hell...? Are you trying to help me get laid, or become the sequel to the "40-Year-Old Virgin"?
*CHOCULA* That's a good idea. That was a quality flick.
*BU* (slightly pissed): They said smelled like ammonia!
*CHOCULA*: Some girls are into that.
*BU*: They also said that I looked like John Wayne at a Jimmy Buffet concert.
*CHOCULA* (pondering): Hmm. Where have I heard that before?
*BU*: Damn it! Can you be serious? I mean, are you REALLY trying to get me a piece of ass here, or what's going on?
*CHOCULA* (putting his arm around Billy): Billy, I really don't know what's going on here! I've given you some of my BEST advice. So I tell you what. The first girl to come by here who is the LEAST bit attractive, I'm going to introduce her to you myself.
*BU* (stunned): You'll do that?
*CHOCULA*: I'll do that.
*BU*: For me?
*CHOCULA*: For you. You won't have to do any of the talking, and none of the work. I'll sweep her off her feet for you, myself, and then let you reap all the rewards.
*BU*: Really?
*CHOCULA*: I'll even let you use the backseat of the Ulti-Bus. And you know what I got in the back of that thing right?
*BU*: You mean the heart shaped bed with the make out lights?
*CHOCULA*: That's right.
*BU* (smiling): Damn! Thanks, Chocula. I'm sorry I doubted you.
*CHOCULA*: You should be. But hey, what are friends for?
(No sooner has Chocula said this than a young, Asian girl comes up beside them. She's got short, black hair, a round, charming face, and a knock-out body! The tops of perfectly-rounded breast can be seen easily in her tank-top-style shirt. She looks at Chocula.)
*GIRL*: Hey, stud.
(Billy becomes immediately excited as Chocula smiles and starts talking to her.)
*CHOCULA*: Hey, yourself, honey pot.
*GIRL*: I couldn't help but notice you from all the way across the bar.
*CHOCULA* And you're all I can notice, now.
*BU* (whispering in Chocula's ear): Introduce me! Introduce me!
*CHOCULA*: Do you come here often?
*GIRL*: Yeah.
*CHOCULA*: Now why would a sweet young thing like you need to come here?
*GIRL*: I dunno. To meet someone to hook up with, I guess.
*CHOCULA*: Oh come on. You must have 'em have guys lined up around the block.
*BU* (whispering in chocula's ear, again): SHE'S AN EASY ONE! I CAN GET HER! JUST INTRODUCE ME TO HER!
*CHOCULA*: Hmm. Tell ya what? Would you like to meet my little friend?
*GIRL* (nodding): Mm-hmm!
*BU* (whispering): YES! YES!
*CHOCULA*: Good! Let's go somewhere, and I'll show him to you.
*BU* (surprised): Huh? Don't you mean me?
*GIRL* (now running her finger down Chocula's chest): Is it some place close? I don't think I can wait.
*CHOCULA*: My car's out back. You and I can use the specifically remodeled backseat, if you catch my drift and I think that you do.
*BU* (whispering): Uh... don't you mean ME and her? I mean... you said I could.
*GIRL* (grinning): That sounds perfect! Lets go, stud!
*CHOCULA*: Be gentle, baby. I'm fragile.
*BU*: Huh? What about me?
(Chocula takes the girl by the arm and leads her off camera. Billy simply stands in the middle of the club with a stunned look on his face.)
*BU*: Hey, Ultimo!... What about... What about me? What do I do?
(Billy is left standing in the middle of the club. The scene fades to black as he simply shrugs his shoulders and follows Chocula and the girl off screen.)
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Post by paulpodanski on Jan 17, 2006 12:14:25 GMT -5
Paul groans and is lying down in his locker-room, he's now got stiches where he was busted open thanks to both Paraslice, and Flex. He slowly sits up... shaking his head.
Paul: Damn that Flex... and DAMN THAT PSYCHADEIL... and DAMN THAT MOTHER OF MINE!!!
Hoss Matthews walks into Paul's locker-room and stares at him.
Hoss: I'm here with Paul Podanski, who... still being the champion... was annihilated by Flex Magnificent... with help from the Psychadeli. Podanski... your thoughts?
Podanski looks at Hoss.
Paul: My thoughts... what the hell do you think I'm thinking jackass?! I just got my ass ahnded to me in the ring... because of some blatent interference. Paraslice and his... meat puppets don't know what they are fornicatein messin with!!!
Hoss: What's wrong...
Paul: Now... remember that prick Bob... when he insulted pool. That's one of the four things I can't stand to see insulted.
Hoss: And... what are the other three?
Paul: My title... my mamma... and my pet.
Hoss looks a bit wide eyed.
Hoss: YOU HAVE A PET?!
Paul: Yep... one of those Daschund things... I named him Floppy Co...
Hoss: I think if you told me... you would get us kicked off the network.
Paul looks at Hoss a bit angry.
Paul: What... you don't like the name? Well... I was drunk when I named it I guess. In fact, I'm drunk when I do alot of stuff.
Hoss: How are you still alive...
Paul: What was that?
Hoss looks at Paul.
Hoss: Erm... I'm surprised you're still alive!
Paul sighs.
Paul: You know... back in Alabama, we have a saying... if you don't like what someone's doing, you kick their ass. Guess what Paraslice... Delicious Dick... Senor... Whateverthehellyorunameis... and those other two fruits... that's exactly what I plan on doing!!! And you interfere in another one of my matches... then the drunken demon... will RIP YOU APART!!!
Paul stands up, grabs Hoss by the shirt and tosses him right out the door.
Hoss: Ahhhhhhh!!!
Hoss crashes to the outside and we fade to commercial.
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Oak: Certified Jade Hater
Bill S. Preston, Esq.
Edgier than Wayne Brady, Harder than Chinese Arithmetic, and Higher than the ratings for Blade: The Series
TOP ROPE CATCH A VIBE YEAH I SWERVE WHEN I DRIVE
Posts: 15,411
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Post by Oak: Certified Jade Hater on Jan 17, 2006 15:40:58 GMT -5
Cut to the EWT arena with Orlando Jordan in the ring.
*"Jesus Walks" plays throughout the arena as Bolt Bacana comes rushing out and straight into the ring, tearing it into OJ. Bolt hits him with a devastating suplex, followed by a stiff kick to the back. Bolt seems to be waiting for OJ to get up, nearly begging him to do so. OJ finally gets up, and is Irish Whipped right to the turnuckle. Bolt drags him out and hits the Bolt from the Blue V.2 and gets the win, then gets the hell out of Dodge.
Thank you and Good Night.
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Post by *"@-BoMb" R.I.P Deus/Dinobot on Jan 17, 2006 17:38:26 GMT -5
*Apollo and Sonny Siaki are standing in the ring ready for action. A-Bomb's and Stevie's music hits the arena and the fans give them a mild reaction. Poses on the ring apron and a few fans in the front row raise their hands and cheer.*
The bell rings and Stevie and Siaki start the match off. They lock up in a test of strength. Siaki kicks Stevie in the gut and whips him into the corner. Sonny follows with a splash....Stevie stumbs out and Siaki hits a belly to belly suplex on Stevie. Siaki covers Stevie for 1 1/2. Sonny tags Apollo in. Apollo picks Stevie up in a Bearhug. A-Bomb starts clapping and gets the fans behind him. Richards snaps out of it and rakes Apollo in the eyes. Apollo breaks the hold. Stevie dropkicks Apollo and whips him into the ropes following up with a drop toe hold. Stevie tags A-Bomb. A-Bomb hits a springboard clothesline on Apollo. Bomb picks Apollo up and nails a Northern Lights Suplex for a 2 count. A-Bomb motions for Apollo to get up. Bomb kicks Apollo in the gut and sets up for a Pumphandle Driver. Apollo armdrags A-Bomb and tags in Siaki.
Siaki comes charging in and A-Bomb overhead suplexes him into the corner. A-Bomb signals for the POOOOOOOOOOUNCE'UH and the fans give him a mild reaction. Siaki moves out of the way and A-Bomb hits his shoulder on the ringpost. Bomb stumbles out and Siaki hits a lungblower on A-Bomb. Sonny goes for the pin 1-2-kickout at 3. Siaki waits for Bomb...Sonny bounces off of the ropes charging at A-Bomb. Bomb kicks in the gut and hits a Betadriver into a sit out pin. Apollo runs into to break up the pin Stevie comes out of no where and Stevie Kicks Apollo. The ref counts 3.
*Announcer and the winners are A-Bomb and Stevie*
*crowd barely reacts*
*They walk up the entrance ramp celebrating slapping hands with the fans on the way out.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 17, 2006 19:12:22 GMT -5
Back at ringside and up by the stage its Curly Long and Mr. Big ... the arena is once again bathed in a pink light ... and that cheesy harlot music is playing. Curly is grinning from ear to ear as he has the mike ...
CURLY: That's right you sex-starved simpletons ... its time for the elimination process for the Harlot Hunt 2006! .. so lets bring out the ladies ... of the night
Curly chuckles as the Harlots come out each posing and cheering themselves on ... there's Flora, D'Zee, Cherry, Pauline, Uchida and Alicia .. they all stand in a line
CURLY: well ... now it's time for the saddest part, one of you 6 will be leaving us ...and be dumped here in this stinkpit that is called Houston, Texas!
The Local crowd boo's the diminutive superstar, with sporadic chants of Austin and Taker
CURLY: Yeah one's crippled and the others got a more dodgy hip than my grandmother ... and she was a B**** too!!
The Crowd boo's even louder
CURLY: Ignoring this inbred crowd ... lets see who is leaving us ...
The lights dim, and a spotlight quickly moves across each harlot ... after half-a-minute of this .. it settles on ... UCHIDA!
CURLY: Looks like the violin did you no favors there Uchida ... got any last words before you leave the Limelight ...
Curly thinks about what he just said for a second
CURLY: Dammit! .. now you lot are going to start chanting Limey!!
Sure enough a large 'Limey' chant starts up
CURLY: Inbred and with a sheep mentality?! what a crowd we have this week ... anyway Uchida you are out of here!
On that two surly looking guards come out and drag Uchida away, before she has a chance to say anything
CURLY: Right, now ladies this week's challenge ... is a surprise ... so lets get on the bus ...
D'Zee takes the mike from Curly
D'ZEE: What bus you got little man .. I sure as hell don't see it!
Suddenly a large Bus rolls out from under the main curtain almost knocking the Toomi-tron down
FLORA: Oooh its so pretty ... I love a coach ride .. are we going to the My Little Pony show .. Mister Curly .. huh?
CURLY: Well there will be a equine style too it ... allow me to introduce are driver ...
The bus door opens with a hiss and the camera reveals the driver to be .. The Outlaw!!
OUTLAW: Yee-haw ladies, after I gonna lasso'd that Maelstrom, I thought I'd celebrate by taking you young starlets out to my ranch!!
All the Harlots, Curly and Mr.Big climb inside the bus ...after which the bus reverses out of the arena
(fade out)
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Jan 18, 2006 2:13:37 GMT -5
-=Scene=- A grueling, well, really boring, drawn out match between Tracey Smothers and Roadblock during an EWT house show as the lights suddenly black out. The attention is turned to the EWT-A-Tron as we see glorious pearly gates with a cloud surface. The scene looks so beautiful. Suddenly the sky behind the gates grays and the gates begin to burn. A T-rex roar bellows from the arena’s PA system as Mastodon’s “Crusher Destroyer” begins. As soon as the actual music in the theme begins, the lights return with Tracey and Roadblock on opposite sides of the ring with a average built figure with a black towel over his head stands with his arms folded in the center of the ring. He throws the towel down and raises his arms similar to Muhammad Hassan. Tracey and Roadblock charge the figure, but he meets them with two jabs. He super kicks Tracey Smothers in the chin and he falls out of the ring. The figure picks up Roadblock and gives him the Crusher. With all of his might, he lifts him up and finished Roadblock off with the Destroyer. The crowd is somewhat quiet as the figure signals for a microphone. He’s handed one as the music simmers. The crowd does as well looking towards what this young man has to say.
-=Deron Miller=- You people actually tolerate this s**t? You let these two schmucks attempt to entertain you? This is not competition! This is not entertainment! This…is…bulls**t! My name is Deron Miller and I am your new messiah! I’m here to save you from these dreary, narrow minded, one trick ponies that the EWT praises as if they were greek gods. Well I’m an atheist and your gods are f**cking dead to me!
-=Scene=- With this the crowd blasts Deron with booes. He smirks and looks around at the crowd as if they were his serfs.
-=Deron Miller=- Yea, yea, yea…b**ch and moan all you want, I’m here to stay. The EWT as you know it is going through a rebirth. Toom E Dangerously has been sent to the hospital for emergency surgery…want to know why? The ink on my contract dried!
-=Scene=- The crowd gives him even more heat and goes as far as throwing items into the ring.
-=Deron Miller=- Boo-hoo, boo-hoo. You guys cry more rivers than a Justin Timberlake song. It’s funny you decide to pelt me with crumpled napkins and empty soda cups…Jesus was stoned to death on his way to the cross. I consider having to put up with you Jurassic dreggs MY stoning on the way to wrestling immortality. You pick and you pry…but when the night is over, and the blood of your heroes lays on my hands and on this mat…you will find your new wrestling messiah!
-=Scene=- Deron begins laughing as the lights dim. The burning gates can be seen again on the EWT-A-TRON over his shoulder as he laughs evilly in the ring. We fade to a Skittles commercial.
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 18, 2006 6:56:19 GMT -5
*Spaz is watching a monitor showing Deron Miller's debut.*
S: Man we need to install a revolving door on this place. Guys appearing & leaving all the time. But throughout the last year 1 thing has stayed the same. 1 thing has remained, 1 thing has endured. That 1 thing is me. Since my debut here over a year ago I have wrestled every week. I have been out there entertaining the fans & beating opponents.
EWT has changed so much in the past year. When I started Variable was EWT Heavyweight Champion, the OX Title as we know it didn't exist & names such as D-Boy, psychoapeguy, Botchberg, JZBadBlood & DSR were at the top of this company.
I was there for the birth of Crap-a-mania. I have seen so many "next big things" come & go. Many wrestlers "Destined for superstardom" end up on the scrap heap. Bolt Bacana, I will give you credit, you are good. But I have seen dozens of gusy who are good step into the EWT ring & talk the talk. I have also seen 90% of those same guys crash & burn.
Be warned Bolt, EWT Is a tough place to make it big. I should know I have done it. You may be good but in EWT being good isn't enough. You better be prepared for the fight of your life if you want to get this *Pats OX Title* from around my waist.
*Cut To Commercial*
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Post by Moxie loves Natalie on Jan 18, 2006 20:07:41 GMT -5
<The Camera pans through the EWT Arena, the crowd grows restless as we come back from the commercials. The murmurs of the fans grows into boredom as we see many standing around>
<"Peace Sells" hits, and "The Peacebringer" Carl Guerrero, EWT's very own backstage interviewer/Color Commentary with his own entrance Music walks out to the ring. The crowd gives him a reasonable pop, and he grabs a mic from the Fink>
Carl: Ladies and Gentlemen... Tonight I bring to you a rarity. A personal interview with the former EWT champion, Moxie!
<A big "MOXIE!-- MOXIE!--" chant starts up>
Carl: Ladies and Gentlemen... Moxie!!!
<An eerie pause, as Carl stands there holding his hand open>
Carl: MOXIE!!!!
<Still eerie pauses.... the crowd goes restless, and continues their chants... "MOXIE!-- MOXIE!--">
<The crowd continues chanting when...>
<HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA>
<Out comes Ted DiBiase, and Irwin R. Shyster>
<The crowd erupts and Carl's mouth drops>
<IRS and Ted make their way into the ring, as Carl hands them the Microphone>
<"WELCOME BACK!-- WELCOME BACK!--" Chants hit the building as Ted thanks the crowd and IRS nods>
Ted: Well, Well, Well... Look who's back!
<Ted pauses>
Ted: You thought I would be gone for long? I'll tell ya...
I'm not here to show off my innate wrestling skill, my fresh licks <tugs at his "Million Dollar Jacket", and my spectacular entourage... hahahahahaha!
<Ted laughs>
Ted: I'm here to show you the challenger to Limey's EWT Championship. He is YOUR number one contender... and MY Personal Champion!
<The crowd starts chanting his name...>
Ted: You guessed it...
<HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA>
<Moxie makes his way out, the Million Dollar Championship around his waist. He slaps hands with the fans, and walks into the ring>
<Moxie is handed the Microphone by Ted>
Moxie: You hear that? That's the sound of an impressive investment.
<He pauses> Moxie: I sat in the back, torn up ribs and all, and I had a revelation. One can only be a loner for so long. So, I wisened up, and sat and thought. Then my former partner came in... and gave me the idea. Money Inc. is back in business!
<The crowd pops as IRS and Ted raise their hands>
Moxie: Limey, You may have one-upped me in the survival cage, but we're still 1-1. At the Next PPV, the Chosen Champion, will become the World Champion. Bank on it.
<Moxie drops the mic as Money Inc.'s Music hits, and we fade out>
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 19, 2006 3:29:25 GMT -5
*The Outlaw is sitting on a barstool in a dark saloon with his head down.*
OL: As I sit here alone in the dark. I wonder to myself. I reckon if I made the right choices. I wonder if I am to be considered a threat.
*Outlaw looks up*
Ol: I should be! You see Maelstrom,and Flex. You two are just mere blips on my map. Now I may not get at you this week, but that doesn't mean nothing. Cause you see eventually we will meet in that ring,and when we do I can only promise lots of pain,and blood. Than when it is all said,and done I will be taking that Tri-State title off into the Western sunset with me.
*Outlaw gets up,and walks over so his eyes are dead level with the camera.*
OL: Soda POP Podanski! You think I haven't forgotten about you now? This week it's you,and me for that dar Tool shed title. Now it my not be as pretty as the Tri State or as honorable as the EWT Heavyweight belts, But by the end of the match once I hit you with the round up, and your looking up at the lights. You will realize that I The Outlaw Chris James has just took your title away,and there was nothing you could do to stop me!
*Outlaw's eyes get narrow with a mean look on his face.*
OL: You see the look in my eyes. It's a look of a cold hearted SOB! The look of a man that will break arms, legs,and necks just to get what I want! If I have to wrestle the damn GND Division to get what I want. Hell I'll do that too,and after I'm through. There won't be a GND division unless you count matches in the hospital. So Flex, Maelstrom,and good old Soda pop ! Look in my eyes cause your looking at the guy thats gonna make you famous!
*Screen goes to black*
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Post by The Lach is very tired on Jan 19, 2006 4:46:18 GMT -5
*Spaz walks up to the matchboard. Sees Limey v Spaz & Smiles. Sum Guy is standing by.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy & I can't wait to see Kane's New Movie. I am here with Spaz. Spaz, this week you will be wrestling Limey the EWT Heavyweight Champion, what do you have to say about that?
S: Well Guy I am glad that I get to wrestle the man who is our current world champ. Limey is a guy who has improved rapidly the past few months & the opportunity to test myself against the best in our company at the moment is always something to be excited about.
SG: What do you think of your chances to beat Limey?
S: I think I have a great chance to beat Limey & what better way to show everyone my skills then by beating the Heavyweight Champion of the World! Limey, I have a lot of respect for you & for the belt that you carry but when we step into the ring bring your A-Game coz I will be bringing mine. The Heavyweight Champ v The OX Division Champ will be a classic for all EWT fans to enjoy.
SG: That was Spaz, pumped up about his match this week. I'm Sum Guy & I bought a Steve Austin Talking Soap from WWEShopzone!
*Cut To Commercial*
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Jan 19, 2006 6:38:02 GMT -5
-=Scene=- Deron Miller is getting pumped at the gorilla position right behind the ramp way’s curtain. He’s jumping up and down somewhat like Brock Lesnar. A black towel covers his face. EWT booker Andrew Boytoucher is trying to talk to Deron.
-=Andrew Boytoucher=- Ok, so when he goes for the facebus…
-=Deron Miller=- I’m not going for that finish…
-=Andrew Boytoucher=- WHAT?!?!? You get your ass out there and take the…
-=Deron Miller=- Just watch, small time…I’ll show you something revolutionary.
-=Scene=- “The Natural”, even though he dyed his hair blonde, Butch Reed is in the ring stretching on the ropes and dancing around the ring. His music fades as the lights fades in the arena. The burning gates of heaven can be seen and heard on the EWT-a-tron. The t-rex roar intro of Mastodon’s “Crusher Destroyer” begins. The lights return as soon as the actual song begins with “Wrestling’s New Messiah” Deron Miller standing on the entranceway with his arms folded. He looks around the arena, then begins to march down the ramp way as Lillian announces his name and measurements. He rolls into the ring, rises to his feet, and throws the towel on his head out of the ring. Before the bell rings, Deron gets a quick kick to the gut in on Reed.
-=Jim Ross=- BAH GAWD RING DAH BELL REF!
-=Jesse Ventura=- MILLER’S CLOCKED IN FOR WORK EARLY!
-=Scene=- Deron backs Butch into the corner with consecutive punches which turn to elbows once Reed is on the turnbuckle. The ref counts to four, then pushes Deron away. Deron, angry at the amateur zebra, pushes him away. This gives Reed enough time to charge at Deron and dropkick him. Butch immediately goes for the pin.
-=Ref=- 1..
-=Scene=- Immediate kickout. Deron hops to his feet before Reed can get beyond a squat. He slams an elbow down on Reed’s head taking him to one knee. Deron hops back, runs forward, and connects with the shining wizard. Reed topples backwards and Deron stands over him taunting him. A camera near the ropes gets some audio.
-=Deron Miller=- You worthless sack of s**t! You’re nothing but a shadow in this business!
-=Scene=- The ref pushes Deron away again. Deron raises his hands and seems to agree with the ref and Reed makes it to his feet. Deron locks up with him. Reed irish whips Deron into the ropes. Deron ducks an attempted clothesline by Reed, bounces off the opposing ropes, and connects on Reed with a tornado DDT. Deron goes for the pin.
-=Ref=- 1...2...
-=Scene=- Reed kicks out. Deron sits up, somewhat frustrated. He lifts Reed to his feet and starts taunting him. Reed jabs Deron in the chin and the crowd gets behind him. Reed continues with the jabs and knocks Deron back as the crowd slams the ring with a tsunami of cheers for “The Natural”. Their hope is quickly robbed from them as Deron counters with a questionably low kick to the “gut”. Before the ref gets to scold Miller, he sets up Reed and connects with the straight jacket lungblower. Deron rises to his feet and looks to the crowd as if this match is no big thing. He slits his throat with his thumbs, signaling for the finish. Deron lifts up Reed, sets him up, and connects with the Crusher as the crowd pummels him with booes. Deron does the quick hop to his feet, still holding Reed. He tosses him up on his shoulders and connects with the Destroyer. Reed is out. Miller rests a foot on his fallen opponent.
-=Ref=- 1..2..3
-=Scene=- The ref signals for the bell to ring and “Crusher Destroyer“ begins. He goes to lift Deron’s hand, but he ignores the ref and moves to the outside of the ring. He grabs a small bag that was ringside. Deron rolls back into the ring with the bag and removes a bottle of lighter fluid from it. He squirts a crucifix shape on Reed’s chest with the lighter fluid. He tosses the bottle and takes a zippo lighter from the bag. Deron ignites the lighter and lifts it into the air so the entire arena can see it. He drops the lighter on Reed’s chest and the crucifix is ablaze. Reed twitches and rolls out of the ring where his chest is doused with a towel thanks to EWT ringside staff. He demands a microphone. Lillian, too timid to get in the ring, tosses him the mic. He grabs it out of mid air and begins pacing around the ring as the “F**k You Miller!” chants start. The music fades and Deron stops, looking directly into the camera. He speaks with paces since he is slightly out of breath from his matchup.
-=Deron Miller=- You know Spaz…there already is a revolving door in this federation…it’s just that your worthless ass has jammed it since the day you’ve walked into the EWT. Let’s not bite off more than we can chew here, eh? I mean, you’re small time Spaz…you’ll never get any higher than mid-card in a mediocre fed like this. People like me?…We’re destined for infamy…so don’t try to use me as your little segway for a promo when you don’t know what you’re dealing with…don’t think I won’t be watching your match VERY closely. If you survive that piece of s**t champion…don’t be surprised if I walk in your path soon after…then when it’s all said and done…you will bow to your…new…messiah…ah ha ha ha…
-=Scene=- Deron laughs evilly as the lights slightly fade. He turns so the EWT-a-tron is behind him the burning gates flickering. The scene fades to a Sketchers commercial.
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Post by crauswell on Jan 19, 2006 7:17:15 GMT -5
We cut to backstage, where Crauswell is standing by... with EWT Correspodant... Oh goody, it's Armbar.
Armbar: I'm Armbarrrrrrrrrrr!!! And I'm armbar with Armbarswell. Well Armbar mr. Armbar... how do you feel about last armbar, beating Armbar Armbar...
Crauswell looks at Armbar and snatches the microphone away from him swiftly.
Crauswell: You annoy me you idiotic man. Now... I have no idea what you really said... except it involved armbars for some reason. Chance Confidence was just another roadblock in my path... another opponent I needed to deal with, another challenge I had to overcome... and I think I did that. Has anyone else... KNOCKED OUT so many of their opponents? I'd think that not too many people have...
Armbar nods.
Armbar: Go armbar...
Crauswell looks at him and stares a bit.
Crauswell: What...
Armbar: I armbarred.... go armbar....
Crauswell boots Armbar in the face and knocks him down. He slowly turns around, where he's facing... The Rock.
THe Rock: Finally... the Rock HAS COME BACK... to the EWT. Now bird boy... or whatever you call your roody poo self, The Rock has words for you! Oh sure, you may be undefeated... but IT DOESN"T MATTER IF YOU'RE UNDEFEATED!!!
Crauswell steps back a bit.
Rock: First of all... I've been watching you backstage and you are one SIIIIICK........... FREAK!!! You make Goldust look like Mr. Perfect for gods sake you jabroni!!!
The gryphon man steps forward and bumps beaks with his nose.
Crauswell: Look here you...
The Rock stops him.
Rock: Excuse me... did The Rock say you could interrupt me... I don't think he did Tweety!!!
Crauswell almost falls back at the last name calling, the crowd is chanting " Rocky!!! Rocky!!! Rocky!!! " The Rock bathes in the attention, then looks back at Crauswell.
Rock: Now let the Rock finish. The Rock will go into the ring tonight, in front of the millions... AND MILLIONS of the Rock's EWT fans, and kick your candy ass!!!
Crauswell can be heard growling a bit as he watches Rock.
Crauswell: You arrogant little prick of a man...
The Rock lowers his shades and stares right at Crauswell
Rock: The fact of the matter is this... The Rock is gonna turn his boot up sideways, shine it up real nice, eat some breakfast, read the paper, watch tv for a bit, then stick his boot up your candy ass.... if you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll... what the Rock... is cook...
Crauswell can't take any more and tackles Rock... knocking him to the ground and starts pummelling him with viscious fists to his face... random EWT security guys consisting of fired EWT Superstars running in and seperating the two... Crauswell is seething.
Crauswell: I'll see you in the ring!!!
Crauswell starts to turn around, but immediately back around again and runs forward, hitting another clothesline and taking Rock for a loop, then starting to beat on him again... the security guys trying to break it up again... as we fade to the commercial.
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Jan 19, 2006 9:34:31 GMT -5
*We are backstage at EWT's interview area. Limey and Carla are there, displaying their respective titles with pride, although Carla is obviously still feeling the effects of the GNO gauntlet.*
Sum Guy: I'm Sum Guy and my watch is made of plastic! I'm here with the EWT World Heavyweight Champion, Limey, and the GND Division champion, Carla O Woe. Now...Carla...you came out of the GNO gauntlet the champion after a gruelling contest with Linda Ragnal. I gotta ask you...how does it feel to have been part of what some may call the greatest match that the GND Division has ever seen?
Carla: Sum, the GND Division has some of the greatest female competitors that you have ever seen wrestle in a ring before. When you put all that talent, all that energy into one ring, you're damn sure you're going to be left with one hell of a match. What I did with Linda, I did for Oceanic, for Rosa, for Tanya Flaire, hell, I even had Mystery in mind. Everyone who respects the code of the GND!
*A large "GND!" chant starts up*
Carla: And to tell you the truth, if the Outlaw thinks he can outwrestle us, he can bring it!! We’ll show him just what *THIS* (indicating to her title) is all about!
*The crowd cheer for this display.*
Carla: And I tell you one thing…Linda’s one hell of a competitor, and in our next match-up, we’ll pick up where we left off. The GND has NEVER BEEN BETTER, and with the likes of Rosa, Oceanic, Tanya and so many others...I know we’d go through HELL before we let this division die.
*Carla adjusts her championship, and nods back at Sum Guy. Limey smiles on, proudly.*
SG: Strong words from a strong competitor. Now, Limey…in your next match, you’re facing perhaps one of EWT’s greatest most technical stars ever…Spaz.
Limey: (Chuckling) Spaz…dammit, when Flex was announced as his opponent, I did NOT take that well. Spaz is a natural, and I’m not talking about how “natural” the TNA Naturals are…I’m talking real natural talent.
*This gets a good laugh as “SPAZ!” chants start.*
Limey: Spaz…you’re one hell of an athlete. I respect you…I respect your achievements, and I’m personally honoured that I’m facing you. So, Spaz…if I had to say one thing…I’d say bring your best. The OX Division title…you’ve brought so much to that belt it’s amazing. I came here to EWT for the same reason you did. For gold…for respect…and for recognition. This title…*Indicating to his EWT championship*…I have fought tooth and nail to get this belt…and I’ve seen your matches against Eddie Omega and…Flex…and I know how damn good you fight. So my message is to bring your best, because you KNOW that I’ll put my all into our match.
*Limey nods at the camera, a look of pride on his face.*
SG: Limey, one more question…
Carla: (Interrupting) Is it about that rash?
Limey: (Looking sympathetic) Yeah…if it hurts that bad, you should probably go to a clinic…
SG: (Embarrassed) No…not about that…my question is about Moxie. The number one contender to your title…what are your thoughts on him?
Limey: Sum, Moxie’s probably one of EWT’s true “living legends”. He’s been in some of the most brutal matches I’ve ever seen, and he’s got a pocketful of charisma to boot. But Moxie...mate…the heat is on. We’re at 1-1, and there is no amount of pain…no amount of trauma I wouldn’t endure to keep this title around MY WAIST. Now that I have the title, I can’t imagine letting it go. I know how you felt when you won the title, and I can only imagine your disappointment when you lost it. To tell you the truth, it almost makes me sad for you, mate. But in our match, our tie-breaker…you’re going to feel it again.
*There is a mixture of “MOXIE” and “LIMEY” chants, with Moxie appearing to get the upper hand.*
Limey: Now you’re the million dollar champ, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say you didn’t earn that belt. You have worked your arse off in this business for so long now. But this title…it’s worth so damn more than a million dollars to me!!! To me, this belt is PRICELESS. You just keep that in mind, Moxie. Or life…will give…you…LIMES!!!!
*Limey stares intensely at the camera, and then sighs, and he and Carla walk off.*
SG: I’m Sum Guy, and I’m trying to achieve Todd Grisham-like cult status. Back to you…next segment!
*Fade out to commercial.*
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Post by Oceanic on Jan 19, 2006 11:07:13 GMT -5
Sum Guy: "Hi everyone! I'm Sum Guy and have mayonnaise in my underwear. I'm here with Oceanic, who had a great match in the GND Gauntlet but came up short. Oceanic, how do you feel?"
Oceanic: "Honestly? I feel fantastic."
Sum Guy: "But.....you lost."
Oceanic: "It doesn't matter. This was not about winning or losing for me. This was about showing everyone that we can hang with the guys. We've overcome so many obstacles in such a short amount of time that it's staggering. No way would we have been given an opportunity like this three, four months ago. Now we're here, and we aren't going any where. It can only get better from here."
Sum Guy: "So what are your plans now? Where do you go from here?"
Oceanic: "I'm going to do the same thing I've always been doing. Put 100% into every match and work my way up to become the GND champion. Nothing will distract me from that."
Sum Guy: "Alrighty then. I'm Sum Guy and I found Waldo in the phone book once."
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Jan 19, 2006 11:44:29 GMT -5
JOSH MATTHEWS: Linda, Tanya, the two of you had and impressive time last night, as both of you participated in the Girls Night Out Gauntlet. Did you have any thoughts about your victories and defeats?
TANYA: I have nothing much to say. I won, and I lost. Simple as that. But unfortunately, my loss was to Holly Vaughn, whom we've been having some problems with as of late...her and Chrysta.
JOSH: Well, we all know that neither of you has had a liking to either Holly Vaughn nor your, um, sister, Chrysta...
LINDA: For the last time, despite her and I having the same mother, she is NOT my sister! But aside from that, I have to get ready for a rematch with Carla for last night. So if you'll excuse us, Josh...
*Linda and Tanya walk off, leaving Josh on camera alone.*
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Curly Long
AC Slater
Midget Wrestling Master
Posts: 234
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Post by Curly Long on Jan 19, 2006 14:15:55 GMT -5
Outside Outlaw's Saloon, Curly Long and Mr. Big are with the 5 remaining Harlot Hunt Girls .. LAicia, Pauline, D'Zee, Flora and Cherry .. They are in a large field next to some stables. Curly is talking to Mr. Big and then turns to the girls .. Flora raises her hand before Curly can start though
FLORA: .. Oh Mr. Long .. Mister Long!
CURLY: .. Yes Flora?
FLORA: Is this the pony track? .. I like Ponies, my brother says when he grows up he wants to be the fastest, and most ruthless Cowboy in the west!
CURLY: .. err ... yeah this is Outlaw's ranch ... wait how old is your brother?
FLORA: Oh he's ten ....
CURLY: Al'Righty then ... anyway this is indeed Outlaws ranch ...
ALICIA: Say where is Outlaw .. or is he scared of Mr. Big and his heavenly muscles?
Alicia flutters her eyes at Big, Mr. Big smiles slightly beneath his dark shades
CURLY: .. No Outlaw is quite the desperado .. I'm sure if he wanted he'd try taking on Mr. Big ... but he's actually gone to drown his sorrows in his Saloon. You see he's obsessed with winning the Tri-State Title ... and well so far his plan isn't quite working ..
CHERRY: Perhaps I could go cheer him up ... I know a few ways to raise a man's spirits ... or maybe he'd like to go bareback riding?
D'ZEE: .. I bet you do ...
Cherry turns to D'Zee
CHERRY: .. and what is that supposed to mean?
D'ZEE: .. It means that your a S***
Cherry slaps D'ZEE and we have a catfight!! .. which Mr. Big eventually breaks up ... after Curly has taken a few photos
CURLY: Right ... your challenge, you see these five filthy stables ...and the manure inside? .. the harlot who cleans there stable the quickest wins ... GO!
Allof the Harlot's quickly grab a pitch fork and start shoveling the crap into there waste bins ... except for ALicia who has started whispering in Mr. Bigs ear ... Pauline's muscles in full roid rage is nearly half done .. with D'Zee close behind .. Whilst Cherry and FLora have barely started disgusted by it all ...Suddenly Mr. Big walks to Alica's stable and with one mighty heave lifts a tractor shovel ... and deposits Alicia's entire mound in the manure container .. Curly is shocked
CURLY: ... erm .. your winner is ... Alicia!
The other Harlots look furious, as Mr. Big lifts Alicia up and carries her off to one of Outlaw's barns.
CURLY: Well .. um .. what can I say ... until next time .. remember your vote counts!!
As we fade out we see alll the remaing Harlots surrounding Curly .. at the last second he pulls out some tickets to what appears to be a night club ... this appears to satisfy them
(cut to commerical)
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