Toom E's House Party II

[Toom E. Guci]

* Toom E’s House Party II opens with balloons falling from the ceiling with confetti as well. A banner hangs at the entrance that reads “Happy Birthday!!” The announcer stands in the ring, ready to speak:*

Announcer: Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to the second ever Toom E’s House Party. And as a special treat for Toom E Dangerously’s birthday, give it up for our musical guest…Randy “Macho Man” Savage!!!

Randy Savage: Oooo yeah!!! It’s the Macho Man getting ready to bust a rhyme on your ass in & out of the ring. Are you ready? Dig it!!

* Bass starts to kick it up a notch.*


Are ya’ll ready, are ya’ll ready, are ya’ll ready, are ya’ll ready
(yeah)
Are ya’ll ready, are ya’ll ready
I don’t think they’re ready (uh uh) (nah) (no, uh uh)
You all ain’t ready for this (huh)

R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)

We gonna do the damn thing so I hope ya’ll ready
Savage Man’s gonna rip the microphone like confetti
And rock steady you should’ve never got me started
In this rap game now ya’ll are dearly departed
That’s retarded a wrestler comin’ off like this
One that’s lyrically inclined with a mic in his fist
It’s the Savage man with the master plan
I gotcha wavin’ ya hands saying That’s My Jam
Now everybody’s kind shocked and amazed that
Macho Man’s got yo head in a daze and
I’m bout to start a brand new rap craz cuz
I’ll crush ya in the ring as well as the stage
So everybody come on put ya hands up high
Cuz we’re coming with a sound that you can’t deny
It’s the M-A/-C-H/-O-M/A-N
No I’m not playin’ I got the place in mayhem
R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)

I’m as ready as ever like the batteries
And like Q-tip I’ll make ‘em stop and breathe
Cuz when I perform they all swarm like bees and
I rock the show with the greatest of ease
So everybody put em up there ain’t no half steppin’
If ya came to start trouble step the other direction
In this section it’s bout the party connection
We came to party hard you don’t need that weapon
So if ya didn’t come to party get your butt outta here
Just vacate the premises and disappear
We’re here to rock the house at full throttle
And after we turn it out we’re poppin’ bottles
Girls in my face that look like playboy models
And when they hear Macho’s voice their knees start to wobble
So Let’s Get It On we can jam all night
And we can rock and we can roll til the broad daylight
R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)

All my people on the east coast (R Ya’ll Ready)
Everybody on the Westside (R Ya’ll Ready)
All my EWT folks (R Ya’ll Ready)
All my House Party folks (R Ya’ll Ready)
R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)
R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)
R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)
R. U. Ready – “Are ya’ll ready for this cuz if you are
Pump ya fist like this”
R. U. Ready –“Keep it goin’ on and on we gonna
Rock it baby all night long”
R. U. Ready –“Put ya hands in the air come on
Wave em like ya just don’t care” (huh)
R. U. Ready –“Come on, come on” R. U. Ready (yeah yeah)
Oooooo…..yeah!!! Dig it!!!

* Macho Man & his crew leave the stage area as the ring announcer gets ready for the first of 2 matches in today’s showcase.*

[Toom E. Guci]

RA: The following contest is the 6 man Gauntlet Match & it is for the EWT OX Division Championship.

*Getting Away With Murder hits & EN Bunk heads to the ring.*

RA: Introducing the man who has drawn number one. From Chicago IL, weighing in at 220 lbs EN Bunk

*Bunk rolls into the ring. He turns to face the ramp waiting to see who he is up against to start the match. Moving On Up plays & Curly Long heads to the ring with Mr. Big.*

RA: And introducing the man who had drawn number two. From Spread Eagle WI, weighing in at 140 lbs he is Curly Long!

*Referee Lee calls for the bell Bunk & Curly stare at each other for a second then Curly kicks Bunk in the shin. Bunk is taken by surprise by this & Curly trips him over. Curly then jumps on Bunk chest & starts throwing lefts & rights. Bunk covers up & eventually he throws Curly off & Curly flies across the ring into the ropes. Bunk gets up & grabs Curly. He lifts him up & hits a Vertical Suplex. Bunk pulls Curly up & hits a Scoop Slam. Bunk tries a cover.*

1
2
NO

*Curly kicks out both men get up & Bunk runs at Curly. Curly drops & slides through Bunk’s legs & he kicks Bunk in the small of the back. Bunk drops to his knees & Curly nails a Dropkick to the back of his head. Bunk drops to the mat and Curly grabs Bunk’s head & locks on a Sleeper Hold. Bunk is fighting back & stands up he backs into the corner & slams Curly back first into the Turnbuckle. Curly holds on the hold so Bunk slams him again. Curly keeps holding on until Bunk reaches around & grabs him. Bunk then counters with a Sidewalk Slam. Bunk shakes off the effects of the Sleeper Hold & goes on the attack. Bunk starts stomping away. Bunk picks Curly up & hits a German Suplex. Bunk goes for a pin.*

1
2
KICKOUT!

*Curly fights out of cover & rolls out of the ring. He regains his bearings & gets back in. He punches Bunk in the gut. Curly tries to DDT Bunk but he fights out of it & picks Curly up & hits The Welcome To Chicago M’Fer. Bunk tries a cover.*

1
2
3!

RA: Curly Long is eliminated by Pinfall!

*The bell rings & Curly is eliminated. He is not happy either. He low blows Ref Lee & storms off. As the ref gets to his feet Heaven’s A Lie plays & Virus heads to the ring. He rolls in & the ref calls for the bell again. The two lock up & Virus over powers Bunk. He whips him into the ropes & nails a big clothesline. Bunk’s head bounces off the mat hard & Virus is quickly stomping Bunk hard. The ref gets some separation & Bunk gets to his feet. Virus grabs Bunk & hits a Belly To Belly Suplex. Bunk slides across the ring & out the other side. Virus walks over & climbs the TB. He waits for Bunk to get up & leaps off looking for a Missile Dropkick but Bunk dodges it & Virus hits the Nigerian Announce Table.*

Crowd: Holy S***! Holy S***!

*Virus is down & Bunk heads to the top rope. He leaps off & nails a Moonsault on Virus on what is left of the table. After a few seconds Bunk gets up & drags Virus back into the ring he tries a cover.*

1
2
NO!

*Virus is able to kick out! Bunk is in shock. Both men are slow to their feet & the crowd is clapping in appreciation of their efforts so far. The two trade punches until Bunk ducks one & hits a German Suplex with a bridge.*

1
2
ROPEBREAK!

*Virus shows good ring presence by getting his foot up on the bottom rope. Bunk gets up & pulls Virus up. Virus fights back & hits a DDT. Virus goes for the cover.*

1
2
NO!

*Bunk is still alive. He gets the shoulder up at 2 & 7/8ths. Virus picks Bunk up & starts an airplane spin.*
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

*Virus slam Bunk down on the mat. He lifts Bunk up & whips him off the ropes. He hits a Black Hole Slam Abyss would be proud of & tries a pin.*

1
2
ROPEBREAK

*This time Bunk gets a foot up on the ropes. Virus is mad now he starts punching away at Bunk’s head. Bunk is trying to cover up but Virus busts him open. Virus stands & signals to the crowd that he is ready to put Bunk away. Virus picks Bunk up for a Chokeslam but Bunk uses his elbow to fight out of it. Virus drops to his knees after a bunk kick to the midsection. Bunk then nails Virus with a Shining Wizard. Bunk lifts Virus up & heads to the corner. He sets him up & hits the Coca-Cola Cliff Drop. Bunk goes for the cover.*

1
2
3!

RA: Virus has been eliminated by Pinfall!

[Toom E. Guci]

*The Ref calls for the bell & Virus rolls out of the ring, he slams the mat in frustration. As Virus heads behind the curtain “Party Starter” hits & Spaz heads out, he raises the OX Title to the crowd & hands it to the Timekeeper as he gets into the ring. The bell rings & the two trade punches & chops. Bunk backs Spaz into the corner & whips him hard across the ring into the other corner. As Spaz recoils back Bunk hits him with a Back Suplex. Bunk grabs Spaz’s legs & looks to lock in a submission move but Spaz grabs the ropes. He pulls himself up & nods in appreciation of Bunk’s skills. Bunk runs at Spaz but Spaz levels him with a Dropkick. Bunk is up quickly & charges again, Spaz armdrags him down. Bunk is up again & again he charges. Spaz armdrags him down again. Bunk gets up & looks annoyed. He charges again & Spaz tries for another Armdrag but Bunk blocks it & DDT’s Spaz. He tries a cover.*

1
2
KICKOUT!

*Spaz is still fighting. Both men slowly rise & they trade punches. Bunk ducks a Spaz punch & hits a neckbreaker. Spaz gets up holding his head & nodding in approval again. Bunk grabs Spaz & plants him with another DDT. This time Bunk picks Spaz up & heads to the corner it looks like he is going for the Coca-Cola Cliff Drop when he is hit from behind with a Singapore Cane! It’s Bolt Bacana! Bolt runs back up the ramp smiling as Bunk is on the ground holding his back. Spaz is groggy & doesn’t realize what has happened. He sees Bunk on the ground, he gets up & grabs Bunk’s legs locking on a Sydney Cloverleaf. Bunk tries to get to the ropes but Spaz pulls him away putting even more pressure on Bunk’s already damaged back. Bunk has no choice but to tap out. Spaz releases the hold & Bunk rolls out of the ring in obvious pain.*

RA: E.N Bunk has been eliminated by Submission!

*Bunk struggles back up the ramp & after he disappears behind the curtain. Colt Cabana’s theme hits & Bolt heads out without the Singapore Cane to officially take part in the match. As he walks to the ring Spaz can’t understand why he is laughing. But as he walks to the ring he doesn’t notice Bunk behind him with a chair. Bolt turns around & is met with a chair to the face! Bunk is wailing away on Bolt with the chair until it is bent out of shape he picks Bolt up & rams him head first into the guardrail. Bolt is busted open & Bunk stands over him stomping away. EWT Security arrives & attempts to get Bunk off him. This brings no luck for a second, but Bolt winds up grabbing a steel chair & low blowing Bunk with the chair. Bunk then smashes the chair over Bunk’s head, severely denting the chair. Bolt grabs Bunk & nails the Kryptonite Krunch over the knee. Bolt then stands above an unconscious Bunk who is bleeding as EMT’s rush out to check on him. Bolt shoves everybody aside & starts heading to the ring, pointing to Spaz & motioning around his waist for the belt. He heads slowly to the ring & gets in. Ref Lee calls for the bell & Bolt runs at Spaz. He is obviously not 100% & Spaz is able to grab him & hit a Belly To Belly Suplex. Bolt is not in any real shape to wrestle but he gets to his feet & starts to trade punches with Spaz. Spaz grabs the bloody Bolt & hits a Swinging Neckbomb. The camera zooms in & shows that Bolt is bleeding quite badly. Bolt is up slowly but as Spaz charges at him he catches him with an elbow. Spaz is surprised by this but he grabs Bolt around the waist. He hits one German Suplex, Followed by a 2nd & a 3rd bridged into a pin.*

1
2
ROPEBREAK!!

*Bolt somehow manages to get his foot up on the ropes. He has still got some fight left. Spaz is quick to pull him to his feet & deliver a Down Under DDT. The force of the DDT sends Bolt out of the ring. Spaz rolls out & picks Bolt up. He throws him back into the ring, Spaz picks him up looking for The Shockwave but Bolt fights out of it & he instinctively rolls Spaz up with a handful of tights!*

1
2
NO!

*Spaz is able to kick out. Bolt is down & Spaz is able to pull himself up with the ropes. Spaz signals to the Spazphiles that the end is here, he picks Bolt up & nails him with The Shockwave. Spaz then hooks the leg.*

1
2
3!

RA: Bolt Bacana has been eliminated by Pinfall!

* That leaves just one man. Deamon Cohln. Halls of Illusion hits & Deamon heads to the ring, he is pointing at Spaz making the belt sign. Spaz is motioning for Deamon to come & take it from him. Deamon jumps into the ring & knocks Spaz down with a clothesline. Deamon is quick to grab Spaz & lay into him with rights & lefts. Spaz tries to cover up but Deamon is ferociously attacking Spaz. Spaz eventually has to roll out of the ring to recover. Deamon poses & the crowd boos loudly. They then start a Let’s Go Spaz! Chant. Spaz gets back into the ring & catches Deamon from behind. He hits 1 German Suplex, followed by number 2 & number 3 & number 4 & number 5! Spaz gets up & the crowd cheers loudly. He grabs Deamon’s legs & locks on the Sydney Cloverleaf. Deamon crawls & grabs onto the ropes quickly though. Spaz releases & Deamon gets up he uses the ref as a distraction & nails Spaz with a Dropkick. Spaz gets up quickly & Deamon nails him again. Spaz is up & again Deamon nails him. This time Spaz stays down & Deamon goes for a cover.*

1
2
NO!

*Spaz is able to power out of the cover. Both men rise & trade lefts & rights. Deamon backs Spaz into the corner & charges at him. Spaz Drop Toe Holds Deamon face first into the second Turnbuckle. Deamon is dazed & Spaz grabs him & climb the ropes. He hits a Top Rope Tigerbomb.*

1
2
ROPEBREAK!

*Deamon gets his foot up on the ropes. He is still dazed as he rises to his feet. Spaz is slow up as well & is looking a bit tired. Deamon grabs Spaz & whips him across the ring Spaz bounces back off the ropes & Deamon nails him with a Clothesline. Spaz s down & Deamon climbs to the top rope. As Spaz rises Deamon leaps off & nails a Top Rope Bulldog. Deamon is up quickly & he Climbs the ropes again. This time when Spaz rises he hits him with a Top Rope Hurricanarama into a pin.*

1
2
NO!

*Spaz is barely able to get the shoulder up. Both men are slow to their feet & Deamon charges at Spaz. But Spaz nails Deamon with a Down Under DDT on pure instinct. The impact sends Deamon out of the ring. Spaz reaches down to lift him up when WHAM!! Spaz is nailed in the head with a VCR! It is out of the Ref’s view & Spaz slides out of the ring. The ref walks over to find out what is going on when all of a sudden Jacola Cohln slides out from under the ring behind the ref. The crowd boo mercilessly as the ref starts a ten count.*

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

*Deamon gets up & rolls Spaz into the ring. He goes for the cover.*

1
2
KICKOUT!!

*The crowd cheer & both Deamon & Jacola are shocked as the now bleeding Spaz kicks out. Deamon gets up & climbs the ropes again. He leaps off looking for a Shooting Star Press but Spaz gets his foot up & nails Deamon on the chin. Deamon crumples down on top of Spaz & the ref counts it as Spaz’s shoulders are down.*

1
2
NO!

*Spaz just gets his shoulder up. Neither man is looking healthy as they struggle to a vertical base. The crowd starts up the Let’s Go Spaz! Chant again as Jacola wills on his brother. The two men trade punches & chops when Spaz misses with one Deamon looks to hit the Deamon Doom DDT but Spaz fights out of it. Spaz then hits Deamon with a Vertical Suplex followed by a 2nd & a 3rd Amigo. Spaz gets up & points to the heavens & sees Jacola trying to get into the ring. Spaz knocks him down with a forearm to the head & Referee Lee ejects him form ringside. The crowd cheers as EWT security remove him. But back in the ring Spaz hasn’t noticed that Deamon has scaled the ropes again. As Spaz turns he is nailed with The Crush! Deamon goes for the cover.*

1
2
ROPEBREAK!

*Deamon can’t believe it but Spaz is able to get his foot up on the ropes. Deamon picks Spaz up & whips him into the corner. He runs at Spaz but Spaz gets his foot up into Deamon’s face. Deamon is dazed & Spaz goes up top. Spaz leaps off & nails a Missile Dropkick right to the back of Deamon’s head. He tries for a cover.*

1
2
NO!

*Deamon kicks out & Spaz can’t believe it. Both men are exhausted & very slow to their feet. Spaz is up & he pulls Deamon up with him. But Deamon is playing a bit of possum & is able to level Spaz with a Shortarm Clothesline. Deamon goes up top again & he waits for Spaz to rise. Deamon leaps off looking for a Hurricanarama but Spaz is aware & he catches him. Spaz is in perfect position to hit The Shockwave! Both men are down & Spaz takes a little while to roll over & cover Deamon.*

1
2
3!

RA: Deamon Cohln is eliminated therefore your winner & still EWT OX Division Champion Spaz!!

*The crowd stands & cheers as Referee Lee drapes the belt over an exhausted Spaz as he lies in the middle of the ring. EMT’s come down to help Deamon out of the ring. Referee Lee helps Spaz to his feet & raises his arm. Spaz is barely able to stand but he has enough strength to slowly walk up the ramp as Party Starter plays. At the top he stops & salutes the Spazphiles before disappearing behind the curtain.*

[Toom E. Guci]

* A large birthday cake gets pushed out onto the stage area. Toom E Dangerously comes walking out on stage, as he sees the cake. Toom E looks at the cake with his microphone in hand:*

All this is for me? Aww shucks, you shouldn’t have. First you bring in the best recording artist ever, Randy “Macho Man” Savage & now this? A birthday cake.

Oh, wait…none of you did this for me. I did it all for me. And for you to reap in the benefits of my birthday. Enjoy it while you all can. And I have decided to give one more…just one more birthday present to everybody for myself to help the EWT advance some more. And it involves the Girl Next Door Division. If all the ladies of EWT would kindly come out in the wardrobes supplied to them by the EWT Wardrobe Department that would be great.

* All the ladies come out, wearing very VERY revealing outfits, bikinis, & such. Not one girl has a smile on their face.*

WHOA!!! You ladies look GREAT!! Don’t they look great fans?

* A loud cheer erupts from all the men in EWT Arena, with quite a few boo’s.*

You know, every wrestling promotion has hot females. Divas. Whatever you shall call them. But here in EWT, I have you ladies. The Girls Next Door. And you know what? You girls have been GREAT moneymakers, showing everybody your, um…assets. And that’s why I have decided to bring you ladies out here to announce the next greatest Girls Next Door project to bring more fans into admiring you girls for what you do best & that’s look good.

Now, it’s not going to be a magazine.

It’s not going to be a calendar.

I had a couple of ideas & porn being one of them. Think of how much money guys would pay to see you girls going at it in some classic positions. But then, I had a better idea.

And that’s why I am giving to you male hormones…Girls Gone Wild.

* The girls get an even more look of disgust on their faces as fists tense up.*

Wednesday, January 18th, 2005, LIVE on pay per view…EWT Productions presents

EWT’s Girl’s Night Out

[/center]

Now ladies, don’t worry. This isn’t what you think. Tops & bottoms won’t be taken off. In fact, Girls Gone Wild is an Everything Goes Gauntlet match similar to what we just saw here tonight for the EWT Girl Next Door Championship.

* Toom E walks up to Carla.*

And Carla, you better be ready…because if you lose your match in the Gauntlet…you lose your belt.

Now, get off my stage & put some damn clothes on. You all sicken me…but you bring me money.

* The girls all leave as Toom E turns to his cake & takes a taste. Toom E then walks backstage & motions his head off stage, when the cake suddenly explodes…sending cake flying all over the audience. Toom E comes back out with the microphone:*

Wrestling rule #6578: cakes in a wrestling environment have to wind up on somebody.

[Toom E. Guci]

Announcer: The following contest is our main event and is for the EWT Heavyweight Championship. It is the Survival cage Match. Coming to the ring to participate in Cage #1 is ½ of the EWT tag team champions, Mike Ragnal. And his opponent is the EWT Heavyweight Champion, Moxie.

* Both men make their way to their respective cage as the door is shut behind them.*


And in Cage #2, on his way to the ring making his EWT pay per view return, EWT Hall of Famer HitmanMark. And his opponent in the cage is the HeartBreak Hitman Brett Micheals.


* Both men make their way into the cage as their cage door is locked behind them, as well.*


And finally, inside Cage #3 are the final 2 participants. Making his way to the ring first is Billy “the Virgin” Ubermark. And his opponent at this time is the man they call Limey.

* Limey & Billy make their way into the ring as the cage door gets locked behind them, as well.*

Breaking Kayfabe: Please note that all 3 cage matches are going on at the same time, but will be typed separately to make it easy to follow. Thank you.

[Toom E. Guci]

Cage 1 * The bell sounds as Moxie locks up with Ragnal. Ragnal manages to shove Moxie down to the mat. Moxie gets back to his feet as they both lock up again. Moxie shoves Ragnal down this time. Ragnal gets back to his feet & rushes at Moxie, who takes him down with an armdrag takedown. Moxie quickly gets to his feet as Ragnal rises. Moxie nails a dropkick to Ragnal. Moxie lifts up Ragnal & runs with him, ramming his head into the turnbuckle. Moxie rams the head as the fans count along.*

Fans: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-10!

* Moxie drops Ragnal down & grabs him from behind, nailing a release German Suplex. Moxie quickly goes for a cover as Ragnal kicks out at 1. Moxie gets to his feet, lifting Ragnal up with him & goes to throw him into an Irish Whip. Ragnal manages a reversal, as Moxie bounces off the ropes & is nailed by a Hurricanarama. Ragnal quickly jumps to his feet, where he runs the ropes & hits a dropkick to Moxie, who was attempting to get up. Ragnal drops an elbow to Moxie & gets to his feet. Ragnal drops a second elbow to Moxie. Ragnal scoops Moxie up & throws him into the turnbuckles. Ragnal charges at him with a spear into the corner. Ragnal leaps to the top rope & jumps off, nailing a bulldog to Moxie. Ragnal goes for a cover, as Moxie gets his arm up at the 1 count. Ragnal gets to his feet & starts to lift Moxie up, but Moxie breaks away from Ragnal’s grasp. Moxie manages a punch to Ragnal. Moxie throws another punch & grabs Ragnal, throwing him through the second & third rope. Moxie grabs hold of the top rope & catapults himself over, grabbing Ragnal’s head between his legs, & hits a Hurricanarama onto the hard steel platform surrounding the ring. Moxie nails a standing Moonsault onto Ragnal & attempts a pinfall. The referee counts 1-2, as Ragnal kicks out. Moxie grabs Ragnal’s head & starts bashing into the steel platform below him multiple times then gets to his feet. Moxie lifts up Ragnal & throws him into the cage. Moxie goes for it again, but Ragnal manages an elbow to the midsection for a block & throws Moxie into the cage this time. Ragnal grabs Moxie & rakes his forehead multiple times onto the cage & then releases him, letting Moxie drop down. Ragnal lifts up Moxie & sets him up, nailing a Fisherman Suplex onto the steel platform. Ragnal then heads to the top rope & looks down on Moxie. Ragnal leaps off, going for a High Voltage, as Moxie quickly gets his bearings & rolls out of the way. Ragnal crashes down to the steel platform & squirms around in pain. Moxie uses the ropes for leverage to help himself up & grabs Ragnal’s legs. Moxie gets his leg between Ragnal’s legs & applies a Sharpshooter. The referee gets himself in position, but Ragnal is close to the cage. Ragnal, screaming in pain, manages to get both hands on the cage. Ragnal walks up the cage with his hands, & manages to twist himself, sending Moxie flying out of the Sharpshooter.*

* Ragnal gets to his feet & grabs Moxie, tossing him back into the ring. Ragnal climbs into the ring & grabs Moxie, throwing him into the turnbuckle. Ragnal runs for a spear, but Moxie gets out of the way, as Ragnal crashes into the ring post with his shoulder. Moxie pulls Ragnal down & starts kicking at the shoulder. Moxie drops down & applies the STF to Ragnal, as Ragnal struggles. Ragnal happens to be close to the ropes, as well, & grabs hold of the ropes. The referee forces Moxie to break the hold, as Moxie gets to his feet. Moxie climbs out the ring, where he notices the weapons cage next to him. Moxie thinks for a second & decides against it, turning his attention back towards Ragnal. As Moxie climbs back into the ring, Ragnal meets him with a knee to the face. Ragnal quickly grabs Moxie & hits a short-armed clothesline. Ragnal then counters it with a DDT, as he quickly attempts a cover onto Moxie. The referee counts 1-2, as Moxie manages his foot on the ropes. Ragnal gets to his feet, using the ropes for leverage, leaping into the air, & crashing down on Moxie’s leg. Ragnal then follows it up with the same action two more times. Ragnal grabs the leg of Moxie, & drags him into the middle of the ring. Ragnal applies the Figure Four Leglock onto Moxie as the crowd erupts. A minute passes with no submission. Two minutes pass, as Moxie manages to roll over into a pushup position, causing Ragnal to release the hold. Ragnal grabs Moxie & pulls him up, as Moxie counters with both men coming to blows. Moxie manages a knee to Ragnal’s midsection, as he grabs him into the Quick Fix DDT. Moxie goes for a cover, as Ragnal gets his shoulder up on 2. Aggravated, Moxie throws Ragnal out of the ring again. Moxie climbs outside the ring, where he grabs Ragnal’s legs & slingshots him into the cage. This causes Ragnal to get busted open. Moxie then grabs Ragnal again & scoops him up into an Alabama Slammer on the steel platform. Moxie lifts up a bloody Ragnal & hits him with a Snap Suplex/Fisherman’s Suplex Combo. Moxie holds the legs for a cover, but Ragnal just barely close to 3 gets his hand on the bottom rope.*

* Now extremely frustrated, Moxie gets to his feet & spies something in the weapons cage. Moxie decides enough is enough & heads over to the door accessible from his cage to the weapons cage, & opens it. Moxie climbs into the weapons cage, where he grabs a table. Moxie drags the table back into his cage & sets it up in the ring. Moxie grabs a bloody & staggering Ragnal, throwing him back into the ring. Moxie drags Ragnal over to the table, but Ragnal manages to apply enough pressure as deadweight. When Moxie releases him, Ragnal nails a low blow to Moxie. Ragnal knees Moxie in the face again & nails him with an X-Factor. A bloody Ragnal gets to his feet & grabs Moxie, tossing him onto the table. Ragnal climbs on top of the table, as well, & grabs Moxie. Ragnal lifts him up, nailing a Ragnalrok through the table. Both men lay in the broken table, a mess. Ragnal slowly gets to his feet first, as he attempts a cover. Moxie just barely gets his arm up at 3. Ragnal gets to his feet & scoops Moxie up for a bodyslam, as Moxie tucks his arm into Ragnal’s leg & turns it into a small package. The referee counts 1-2-3, declaring Moxie the winner by pinfall…advancing him to the final cage.*

[Toom E. Guci]

* Over in Cage #2 at the same time, HBH & Mark start out with a stare down. Both men start shoving each other & then start throwing punches. HBH lands a kick to the midsection & grabs Mark, throwing him into the ropes. Mark bounces off & gets taken down by a Russian Legsweep. HBH drops an elbow on Mark, followed by a second elbow. HBH lifts Mark up again, throwing him into the ropes, & connecting with a flying elbow. HBH quickly goes for a cover but Mark kicks out. HBH gets to his feet & lifts Mark up, but Mark counters with a knee, & then grabs HBH into a belly-to-belly suplex. Mark picks up HBH & lands a fall away slam on him. Mark gets on the second rope, dropping an elbow down on HBH. Mark scoops up HBH & throws him into the ropes. HBH ducks a clothesline & comes back, as both men wind up taking each other down with a clothesline. Hitman gets to his feet first, where he grabs HBH & connects with a Tiger Suplex. Hitman goes for a cover, as HBH kicks out at 2. Hitman quickly gets to his feet, throwing HBH out of the ring. Hitman climbs out of the ring, & grabs HBH, bodyslamming him onto the steel platform surrounding the ring. Hitman follows it up with a standing dive headbutt to the cranium of HBH. Hitman goes for a cover, but HBH manages a foot on the rope. Hitman gets to his feet & grabs HBH’s leg, dropping an elbow on it. Hitman does it again. Hitman grabs HBH’s leg, setting him up in a Sharpshooter, but HBH manages to kick free of it. HBH uses the cage to help himself to his feet. As Hitman charges at HBH, HBH nails a Superkick to the chin of Hitman. Hitman flies back & bounces off the ropes in the small area surrounding the outside of the ring. HBH grabs Hitman as he bounces back & runs him, headfirst, into the steel cage. HBH grabs Hitman & hits a Fall Away German Suplex, crashing Hitman into the steel platform. HBH goes for a pin as the ref counts 1-2..*

* Kick out by Hitman. HBH gets to his feet & drapes the ankle of Hitman on the cage bar. HBH kicks the leg several times & then drops the boot to it once. HBH lifts up Hitman & sets him up with a Figure Four Leglock. Hitman grimaces in pain, but manages to get a handful of hair & throws a punch to HBH. Then a second punch. And finally a third punch breaks the hold, as Hitman grabs his leg in pain. HBH grabs Hitman up & throws him back into the ring. HBH follows & starts kicking at Hitman. HBH lifts up Hitman & sets him up with a Sleeperhold. Hitman manages to drop down & escape the hold, smashing HBH’s chin into the back of Hitman’s head. Hitman uses the ropes for leverage to help himself up. As Hitman gets up, he quickly drops back down with an elbow to HBH. Hitman gets to his feet & scoops up HBH. Hitman throws him into the ropes & connects with a Lou Thesz Press followed by punches to HBH. Hitman quickly reaches around & manages to apply the Crappler Crossface. HBH struggles in the hold, reaching for the ropes. Hitman rears back, flipping HBH over, away from the ropes. HBH struggles some more, but reuses to tap. HBH struggles & gets a bit of a crawl going. After several minutes in the hold, HBH makes it to the ropes, as the referee calls for the break.*

* Hitman gets to his feet & grabs HBH, who’s using the ropes as leverage. As Hitman draws in, HBH nails a kick to the midsection, & plants a DDT onto Hitman. HBH goes for a cover, using the ropes for leverage. The referee sees it & calls for a break. HBH gets to his feet & lifts up Hitman, throwing him into the ropes. HBH goes for a Spinning Heel Kick, but Hitman ducks as HBH crashes down on the mat. Hitman grabs HBH & connects with a Dragon’s Wings in the center of the ring. Hitman goes for a pin, as HBH just barely manages a shoulder up when the referee is about to hit 3. Hitman gets to his feet & reaches down for HBH. HBH is very weak but manages a thumb to the eye. HBH suddenly leaps to his feet as Hitman staggers after the thumb. HBH sets his foot up & as Hitman turns towards HBH, Sweet Chin Muzak meets him. HBH quickly goes for a cover, as Hitman manages his foot on the rope. HBH grabs Hitman & throws him over the top rope with all his might. Hitman crashes down on the steel platform, banging his head hard. HBH gets to the top rope & leaps off the top rope, crashing an elbow down on the throat of Hitman. HBH then looks up at the cage & then drags Hitman to an area on the steel platform. HBH starts to scale the cage a bit & looks down at Hitman. HBH leaps off the cage, 10 feet up, & crashes down with a moonsault on top of Hitman, laying on the steel platform. As HBH starts gets to his feet, a bit groggy. Suddenly, shock comes across HBH’s face as he sees Gasoline walking down the aisle way. Gasoline makes his way towards the cage, as HBH is shocked by the sudden day early return of Gasoline. Gasoline rips the cage door off the hinges. HBH charges at Gasoline, but Gasoline blocks the punch & throws his own. Gasoline grabs HBH & throws him into the cage. HBH staggers back & is met with a big boot, as gasoline then grabs him, placing his head between the legs. Gasoline lifts up HBH with all his might & sends him crashing down with such force, that the Jackknife Powerbomb sends HBH through the steel platform stage around the ring. Gasoline then reaches down & drags HBH out of the hole & then grabs Hitman, placing him on top of HBH as the referee counts 1-2-3…sending HitmanMark into the final cage.*

[Toom E. Guci]

* Billy Ubermark & Limey both start things off in cage #3. Billy charges at Limey, who trips up Billy. Limey flips on top of Billy & starts throwing punches at him. Limey gets to his feet, grabbing Billy in a headlock. Limey strengthens his grip on the Billy, as Billy struggles to get free. Billy musters his strength & nails an Atomic Drop on Limey. Billy gets to his feet & grabs Limey, hitting a standing Hurricanarama. Billy then nails Limey with a standing Moonsault. Billy runs towards the ropes & springs off into a Lionsault, but gets knees to the midsection by Limey. Limey springs to his feet, grabbing Billy, & hits him with a textbook suplex. Limey runs the rope & hits a baseball slide to the head of Billy. Limey gets to his feet & throws the horns to the crowd. As Billy gets to his feet, he gets taken down with a flying lariat. Limey gets back to his feet, grabbing Billy, & Irish Whips him into the turnbuckles. Limey runs at the turnbuckle but Billy backflips Limey over the top rope. Billy climbs out of the ring, grabbing Limey, & bodyslamming him onto the steel platform. As Limey turns over & is on all fours, Billy nails a Sitting Dropkick to the ribs. Billy grabs Limey, going for a cover. Limey manages a kick out. Billy gets to his feet, grabbing Limey again, & picks him up in a bodyslam. Billy runs at the cage, ramming Limey’s back into the cage. Billy does so again. Billy then surprises all, while holding Limey, he backflips while holding Limey in a bodyslam position, sending Limey crashing into the steel platform with the weight of Billy on top of him. Billy attempts another cover, as the referee counts 1-2…*

* Limey manages a very weak hand to the ropes. Billy gets up, frustrated at this. Billy starts giving the boot to Limey. When Billy goes for one more kick, Limey knocks him off balance with his hands. Limey uses the cage for leverage to rise to his feet. Limey grabs a hold of Billy & plows him face first into the cage. Limey then tosses Billy into the ropes, & as Billy returns, he’s nailed by a sidewalk slam onto the steel platform. Frazzled a bit, Limey attempts a cover but Billy manages a kick out. Limey gets to his feet, grabbing Billy, & hip tossing him over the top rope back into the ring. Limey catapults himself over the top rope; landing the back of his head into Billy’s midsection. Limey regains his bearings for a cover, but Billy gets his foot on the rope. Limey gets to his feet & grabs Billy up. Limey lifts Billy up into a belly-to-back suplex, but places him on the top rope. Limey holds onto Billy & starts to climb the rope. Billy comes to his senses & starts throwing punches. Billy manages to grab Limey, & connects with the Tornado DDT off the top rope. Billy goes for a pin as Limey just barely gets his shoulder up. Billy grabs Limey again & drags him to the center of the ring. Billy connects with a Snap Suplex in the center of the ring. Billy runs towards the ropes, where he flips backwards, & this time he hits the Lionsault. 100% comes from this attempt, as Billy goes for a cover, but Limey manages a kick out again. Billy picks up Limey & Irish Whips him. A weakened Limey manages a reversal, sending Billy into the corner. Limey drops to his knee as Billy crashes into the corner. Limey gets to his feet & heads on over to the corner, throwing punches at Billy. Limey grabs Billy & nails a Fireman’s Carry Slam on him. Limey climbs to the top rope & leaps off, nailing an elbow to Billy. Limey grabs the ropes to help himself to his feet. As Limey struggles to his feet, he quickly lands a baseball slide dropkick to Billy. Limey starts to get frustrated & heads towards the door that leads to the weapons cage. Limey heads in, where he grabs a steel chair. *

* As he comes back into his cage, he’s met by a dropkick by Billy into the chair. Billy grabs the chair & smashes it over Limey’s head. Billy grabs the chair & throws it back into the ring. Billy throws Limey into the cage & runs at the cage, leaping onto one of the cage rungs, & leaps off, connecting a dropkick to Limey. Billy covers Limey, who manages to get his hand on the rope. Billy lifts up Limey & nails a Snap Suplex onto the steel platform. Billy grabs Limey & throws him back into the ring. Billy Irish Whips Limey into the corner, as Limey collapses in the corner. Billy stands there for a minute & eyes the chair. Billy climbs out of the ring, grabbing the steel chair, & brings it back in the ring. Billy sets the chair up right in front of Limey’s face & rushes over to the other corner. Billy leaps off the top turnbuckle with a dropkick towards the chair in front of Limey’s face. Just as Billy’s about to connect, Limey rolls out of the ring; causing Billy to crash down in the ring, missing. Limey gets to his feet & grabs Billy as he’s trying to recover. Limey sets up Billy, connecting with the Twist O’Lime & rolls him into a pinning predicament. The referee counts 1-2-3…awarding the deciding match to Limey, who just sits on one knee. Exhausted, advancing to the final match.*

[Toom E. Guci]

* All 3 finalists now stand in the center cage, ready to go. Limey, Moxie, & HitmanMark all look at the EWT Heavyweight Championship hanging above them from the dome. All 3 men are looking a tad bit worse for the wear after the previous encounter, only getting a few minutes of breather in between their match & the actual championship match. The bell sounds to start the final match up, a Ladder Cage Match for the Championship…one of the men walking out the champion. All 3 men get in the center of the ring; a stare down ensues. All 3 men start throwing punches at each other. Limey goes down after a few punches, as Moxie & Hitman lock up. Moxie manages an Irish Whip to Hitman & then charges at him as he bounces off the ropes with a spear. Moxie gets to his feet, lifting Hitman up, & nailing a German Suplex. Moxie drops an elbow on Hitman & as he gets to his feet, Limey nails him with a Flying Lariat. Limey then starts throwing punches to Moxie repeatedly while on top of him. Limey gets to his feet, grabbing Moxie, & throws him into the ropes. Limey catches Moxie & his a Spinebuster in the ring. Limey gets to his feet & looks up at the belt. Limey starts to look around, but is nailed by a Missile Dropkick off the top rope by Hitman. Hitman then grabs Limey & applies the Crappler Crossface on him, pulling back real hard on him. Hitman decides to release the hold, as he scoops up Limey. Hitman nails a Triple-Play German Suplex onto Limey. Hitman eyes the door to the weapon cage, in which there’s a ladder in the cage. Hitman heads over to the door & gets into the weapons cage. Hitman gets nailed from behind by a flying Bulldog off the top rope. Moxie stands above Hitman & starts giving the boot to him. Moxie lifts up Hitman, but Hitman manages to break away as both men start trading blows. As both men are doing so, a double-armed clothesline takes them both down by Limey. Limey spots a nun chucks sitting on the ground & picks them up. He starts playing with them for a second, & then grabs Moxie, bashing him in the head with them. Limey does so again, busting Moxie open. Hitman gets to his head, & Limey spins around, nailing Hitman in the midsection with the nun chucks. Limey grabs Hitman & drops the nun chucks. Limey lifts up Hitman & nails a Cradle Piledriver onto the nun chucks. Limey looks around & grabs the ladder. Limey drags the ladder from the weapons cage & drags it back into the main cage.*

* Limey brings the ladder to the center of the ring & sets it up. Limey gets hit from behind by a knee that sends him into the ladder. Moxie grabs Limey & starts choking him out with the nun chucks. Moxie releases the hold & drops the nun chucks, grabbing Limey’s head, & smashes it into the ladder. Moxie kicks the ladder over & bodyslams Limey onto it. Moxie drops an elbow onto Limey. Moxie picks up Limey & throws him over the top rope to the steel platform. As Moxie turns around, a belly-to-belly suplex by Hitman meets him onto the ladder. Hitman gets to his feet & climbs the second rope, nailing an elbow drop on the bloody Moxie. Hitman lifts up Moxie & nails a Tiger Suplex onto the ladder. Hitman gets to his feet & grabs the ladder, setting it up now. Hitman starts to climb the ladder as Limey leaps off the top rope, spearing the ladder, knocking it over. Hitman crashes down to the ring with the ladder on top of him. Limey gets to his feet & rubs his injured shoulder after what he had just done. Limey picks the ladder up off of Hitman & slams it back down on him. Limey climbs the ropes & leaps off the ladder, stomping it down on Hitman. Limey now turns his attention to Moxie, lifting him up, & throwing him over the top rope. Limey climbs out of the ring & grabs Moxie into the Twist O’Lime. Limey’s shoulder gives out on him after the stupid move to the ladder, as he drops Moxie & Moxie crashes down on Limey. Both men collapse on the steel platform. Limey rolls out from under Moxie & grabs Moxie again. This time, setting him up for the Lime Disease. Limey starts applying as much pressure as possible, while Moxie is attempting to resist. After a couple of minutes, Moxie starts to tap but little can be done. Finally a steel chair shot from Hitman breaks the hold. Hitman tosses the chair down, lifting up Limey, & throwing him into the steel cage. Hitman then picks up Limey & nails a Shoulder Breaker on the bad shoulder. Hitman starts kicking at the shoulder. Hitman scoops up Limey again & has him set up for what looks like a Powerslam but turns into a Shoulder Breaker into the ring post. Hitman then grabs Limey & nails him with the Dragon’s Wing on the steel platform. At this point, Moxie manages to get to his feet but gets a knick to the midsection & a DDT onto the steel platform. Hitman climbs back into the ring, where he grabs the ladder. Hitman lifts the ladder up, setting it up in the ring. As he starts the climb, the ladder is wobbly from some of the shots it has taken. As Hitman reaches the top, the ladder falls from under him from the added weight. Hitman crashes to the mat, as well. All 3 men now lay, 1 in the ring…2 outside the ring.*

* Moxie manages to get to his feet first with the aid of the cage. Moxie wipes the blood from his face & climbs into the ring. He sees the broken ladder laying in the ring & starts to look around. He notices no more ladders in the weapons cage, but has an idea. Moxie goes into the weapons cage & then heads into the cage that HBH & Hitman fought in. Moxie goes to the hole in the steel platform & winds up crawling outside the steel cage. Moxie looks up at the done, standing outside where the fans are. Moxie starts to climb up the cage to the amazement of fans & the announcers. Moxie starts to climb further up when Hitman gets to his feet. Hitman sees what is going on & rushes to the weapons cage & back into the cage he originally started from. Hitman starts climbing up the inside of the cage, trying to catch Moxie. Hitman reaches the area where Moxie is & the 2 start trading blows through the cage. Hitman decides on a new strategy & hits the fingers of the hand holding onto the cage, then manages to get his leg through the gap & swings it with enough force that Moxie goes flying off the cage & crashes down onto the Chinese Announce Table. The crowd erupts in a frenzy.*

Fans: HOLY S***!!! HOLY S***!!! HOLY S***!!!

* Hitman looks down at what he’s done. A look of concern comes across his face, until he sees movement from Moxie. Hitman starts climbing down from the cage & back into the ring. Hitman heads back into the main cage as Limey comes down from above the door of the cage onto Hitman. Limey had also climbed the cage to ambush Hitman. Limey starts throwing punches at Hitman, who’s now laying on the platform. Limey gets to his feet & scoops up Hitman into a bodyslam. Instead of slamming him down, he throws him into the cage. Limey lifts up Hitman & sets him up. This time he is able to nail the Twist O’Lime, crashing Hitman into the steel platform. Hitman is now busted open, as well. Limey climbs back into the ring & looks up at the belt. Limey grabs a broken piece of the ladder & throws it up, hitting the belt. Nothing. Limey grabs the nun chucks & throws them, hitting the belt. Nothing. Limey decides to go into the weapons cage & into HBH/Hitman’s cage. He goes into the hole & crawls out from under the ring. Limey looks up at the cage & shakes his head no. Limey walks away from the ringside area & leaves the area. Everybody looks confused, trying to figure out what is going on until Limey comes out with a new ladder. Limey starts yelling at the official to open the cage. The official obliges, as Limey tosses the ladder through the cage door. Limey drags the ladder back into the main cage & sets it up. Just as Limey starts to climb the ladder; a German Suplex yanking him off the ladder meets him. Moxie is back in the match, holding his ribs. Moxie grabs Limey & nails the Quick Fix DDT onto him. Moxie starts to climb the ladder & looks down at Limey. Moxie thinks about it for a second, but then starts climbing up the ladder.*

* Just then, the ladder crashes down as a bloody Hitman stands above it with a steel chair in hand. Moxie goes flying off the ladder, guillotining himself on the top rope. The ladder falls as well. Hitman sets the steel chair up in the ring & grabs Limey, sitting him in it. Hitman runs the ropes & nails a Spinning Heel Kick onto Limey. Limey flips backwards, as does the chair. Hitman grabs the ladder & sets it up again. Hitman starts climbing the ladder. Suddenly, a dropkick sends the ladder & Hitman crashing down to the ring. Limey & Moxie both lay a heap in the ring as Hitman crashes down & gets guillotined on the top rope. An unsigned participant stands in the ring above Hitman. It’s Trik Turner. Trik Turner runs the ropes & nails a Lionsault onto Hitman. Trik then runs & nails a Rolling Thunder onto Hitman. Trik grabs Hitman & throws him out of the ring. Trik gets to the top rope, where he leaps off with a 450. Trik grabs Hitman outside the ring & sets him up with his head between Trik’s legs. Trik nails the Trik Turner aka Canadian Destroyer on the steel platform. Trik stands in the cage above Hitman just looking down at him.*

* Back in the ring, Limey struggles to his feet, unaware of what is going on. Limey manages to get the ladder back up as he sees Moxie down. Moxie is using the ropes for leverage to help himself up as Limey quickly heads over. Limey grabs Moxie & sets him up, nailing a Twist O’Lime onto the chair. Limey staggers over to the ladder & climbs the ladder. Just as Limey reaches the top, he spies Trik standing outside the ring. Limey tries to make sense of what is going on & Trik just mouths to him, “You’re not why I’m here.” Limey decides to reach up, where he grabs the championship belt, & unfastens it. Limey staggers down the ladder, clutching the EWT Heavyweight Championship to his chest, & collapses to the ring. The referee raises Limey’s hand as Limey clutches the belt extremely tight against his chest. The referee goes to help Limey up, who refuses the help. Limey slowly gets to his feet, battered & bruised, & heads to the ropes. Limey climbs up on the second rope, holding the EWT Championship up, proud of what he has accomplished as the pay per view fades to black.*