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Post by HMARK Center on Dec 30, 2005 18:55:57 GMT -5
<The EWT's newest backstage "scoop finder", Gary Michael Cappetta, makes his way to the ring, microphone in hand>
GMC: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of the EWT, do we have a scoop for you! You heard the announcement from Toom, you've heard the stipulation and the participants of the upcoming post per view main event World Title match, and, if you're like me <random guy in the crowd: @#$% NO I'M NOT!>, you can't wait for Toom's "birthday party". Now, without any further adieu, allow me to introduce,
<the lights go off and "La Liberacion of our Awakening" hits. The fans rise as Moxie, the World Champion, dressed in a simple button down shirt and dark slacks, makes his way towards the ring. He has a serious look on his face>
GMC: Moxie, I certainly wasn't-
Mox: <grabs mic> Expecting me? Why, GMC, I simply wanted to give you a pleasant surprise. Be proud that, in your first day on the job, you get to share the ring with a true champion. Now, let me see if I've got this straight. Toom E. seems to have it out for me, no? I mean, five cages, multiple matches, weapons, some of the greatest stars the EWT has to offer...it's enough to make some men nervous. Some men. Not me. See, I won this belt through pure perserverance. I won this belt by punishing myself, besides punishing others. See, Toom, you've managed to do something really incredible: you've thrown me the ultimate challenge, but, at the same exact time, you've given me exactly what I want. You've given me a task that most men, hell, most champions would find insurmountable. A match where bones WILL be broken, where men WILL bleed, and where my grip on this belt <holds the belt forward> will likely be loosened, to the point where I'm going to have to hold on for dear life by my fingertips. But, honestly, <chuckles> that suits me just fine. As for the rest of the boys in the match; hey, I wouldn't back down from ANY of you bastards. You about to take it easy on me? Don't even think about it. Give me EVERYTHING you've got. But as for one man...Toom, you seem to have thrown a slight wrench in the machine, a wild card of sorts. It seems that you've-
<A few screams go up through the crowd as the EWT Arena goes completley dark. Suddenly, a blue light shines from the entrance ramp, as a Cathedral-remix version of Depeche Modes' "Never Let Me Down Again" blares on the PA. The sound of a choir is heard throughout the song, crescendoing, until the intro stops, leading to a loud, screeching sound. The crowd erupts as "Disposable Teens" plays. In the ring, Moxie's face is stoic as he looks up the entrance ramp, while the lyrics play>
And I'm a black rainbow And I'm an ape of god, I got a face that's made for doing violence upon, I'm a teen distortion, Survived abortion, A rebel from the waist down.
<Strobe lights goes off, as a figure enters. He wears a brilliant white, body length leather jacket with a hood hiding his face. On the back of the jacket is the emblem of the Fallen Dragon. Under it, he wears white jeans and black boots.>
I wanna thank you, mom, I wanna thank you, dad, For bringing this f***ing world To a bitter end. I never really hated a one true god, But the god of the people I hated!
<He stops in the middle of the aisle, arms extended outwards, bringing his hands up to his hood and pulling it down...>
You said you wanted evolution, The ape was a great big hit. You say you want a revolution, man And I say that you're full of s***.
<HitmanMark, after an unprecedented length of abscence, reveals himself to the screaming Arena, holding his arms up, his pointer and middle fingers extended, head thrown back.>
<Walking slowly around the ring, HMark listens as the fans on the aisle and front row all smack the metallic guardrails in beat to his theme. He stops at each corner outside the ring, spreading his arms, yelling "BACK IN MY HOUSE!" and such assorted things. The fans continue to cheer the return of the EWT Icon (and now Hall of Famer) as he works his way all the way around. When HMark finally makes it back to the entrance ramp side, Moxie actually sits down on the middle rope, inviting him in. HMark accepts.>
<Both men, former partners in the Prophecy Reborn, stand face to face, as the crowd goes wild.>
Crowd: WEL-COME BACK! WEL-COME BACK! WEL-COME BACK! WEL-COME BACK!
<HMark turns and signals to the crowd, eliciting a big pop. Turning once again, turns towards Gary Michael Cappetta.>
HMark: Cappetta...get me a f***in' microphone.
<The crowd cheers again, and GMC hands HMark the ring announcers mic before scurrying off to the back.>
HMark: <eyes shut, taking a deep breath> At long last. The last time you people saw me, I had just put that scum D-Boy through a table, with a powerbomb from the top of a ladder. Jesus, I bet the last time some of you saw me, I was EWT Tri-State Champion. SOME of you, God willing, can remember back when I became the first TRUE EWT champion, my three World Title reigns, my representing EWT during the WCF takeover, the nBo, the Mark Foundation, the Prophecy Rebon, tag titles, singles titles, the Royal Pain In My Ass Rumble, I can go on, and on, and on!
<holds up a finger> But. And that is a very. big. but. I'm not here to reminisce on things like that. The past has been great, EWT fans; I gave you my all, you made me your hero, or maybe you made me your devil, but there is NO denying everything I've given for this company. I've been spending the last while traveling the world; tours with NOAH, bookings on the independent scene, where I feel I became more than I could have ever hoped to be if I hadn't gone there...all of it to make me not only stronger, not only better, but to ensure that MY legacy in this business is built up, respected, and endures for as long as there are two men willing to put on some gear and tear @#$% up across a ring mat!
But it's like I said: I'm not here to dwell on the past. Let's look at the present. <looks at Moxie> Moxie, my old protege. <laughs> Take a look at you, eh? Old friend, let me be what I'm sure is NOT the first to say, that belt really looks good on you.
Mox: <giving a joking bow> I learned from the best.
HMark: <grinning> Indeed. See, Mox, just because I haven't been in the EWT for a long time doesn't mean that I haven't kept tabs on a few things. My old friend and nemesis, DSR, has come and gone. D-Boy made a quick return, but dissapeared before I could finish him. But, perhaps most importantly, the man I put on the path to glory has, at long last, achieved his destiny. You were already a champion when I left, Mox. I apologize if you may have felt I abandoned you, but I had to do what was right. I had to spread my message and my legacy beyond these boarders. I don't regret it, and I would have regretted not being there for your big shot...but it seems you've made the most of your oppurtunity. Congratulations, my friend; you've joined an elite group.
Mox: HitmanMark. Perhaps a lesser champion would take humbrage at your dissapearance. After all, you were gone, without a trace. You walked away from this promotion. <some scattered boos> But I'm bigger than that. See, a truly great champion can remember where he came from, and how he achieved greatness. I know that, before I agreed to join you, I was some blue chipper; I had the potential, I had what it took, but I was lacking that certain something. I lacked that killer instinct, the eyes of a real champion. I owe that to you, friend. I truly do. BUT! Here is a simple fact: I can only assume you requested to be in this title match at the next post per view. Just remember this <points at HMark>: you're not laying a finger on my title. You helped me get this far, HMark; hell, to most people here today, you're the one who made this belt as prestigious as it is. You're the one who proved to guys like me that we don't need to be 250 pound monsters to have a prayer at being a World Champion, and we owe you for that. But I've come way too far, friend. As far as I'm concerned, this belt means that I'm the best there is going today. But, tell me <gets a step towards HMark>: why do you want this match.
HMark: <taking his time> Simple. How else can I see how far my old Soothsayer has come? Remember our mission: we were destined to bring purity in competition back to the EWT. I intend to continue my pursuit. I've got your back, friend; but when MY belt is on the line...it's all about competition.
Mox: <smiles> Wouldn't have it any other way. <extends hand> Welcome back.
<The two shake, and Moxie leaves the ring, pointing to HMark approvingly. HMark picks up the mic again.>
HMark: Thank you, Mox. EWT, take notice: HitmanMark has returned. My destiny is unchanged, my methods remain the same. My word is Gospel, my actions Revelations. I will continue to bring a rebirth to the EWT, to reinstate order, and to prove, beyond a shadow of ANY doubt, that there is no one better than the Fallen Dragon. And THAT...is GOSPEL.
<HMark plays with the crowd, but he and Moxie catch each other's glare as Mox stands at the top of the entrance ramp. Their former rock solid trust there, but not at 100% with a title match on the horizon. HMark goes to the corner and stands on the turnbuckle, playing to the crowd, as Moxie stalks away quietly, confident. Chants of "HIT-MAN-MARK!" and "FALLEN-DRA-GON!" fill the Arena>
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Post by chanceconfidence on Dec 30, 2005 19:58:53 GMT -5
The crowd is still popping from Hit Man Mark and Moxie's exchange, but the crowd automatically dies as The Four Horsement Theme starts up and Outlaw heads out to the ring on his horsey... causing loads of boos.
Announcer: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Approaching the ring, weighing in at 307 pounds, the Outlaw Chris James!
Chris James staggers out to the ring and slowly climbs into it. The crowd gives him a few boos.
Soon, Pomp and Circumstance starts up... and the crowd explodes with boos... only for the music to immediately change to silence. Suddenly, Lamont runs out to the ring with a microphone.
Lamont: Ladies and gentlemen... introducing that guys opponent, he is the greatest wrestler in the WCW... I mean WWE... I mean EWT... he weighs in at 240 pounds... give it up for Chance... Confidence!!!
Alice Coopers School's Out for the Summer starts up, Chance's new theme ( Suggested by Ultimo Chocula by the way ) and Confidence steps out to the stage, getting a mixed reaction. He walks down the stage, wearing his robe still... except the P.T.A. part is obviously missing. He reaches over, acting like he's gonna give a fan a high five... then pulls away at the last second. Apparently, he's a tweener now.
He looks over at the horse and raises an eyebrow, but shrugs it off. Confidence then hops onto the apron... flips into the ring... and does a handstand, then hops down, snatching Lamont's microphone.
Chance: Ok... you are even worse then Andrews... get out of my sight... and take that piece of rug on your head with you!!!
The crowd cheers as Lamont exits the ring immediately. Confidence looks around.
Confidence: Now... before I get to beating the hayseed out of this John Wayne rip off... I've got one thing to say... well two actually. First off... Farmer Joe over there smells like he took a bath in S***!!!
The crowd pops as Chris James looks a bit upset.
Chance: And second of all... the P.T.A. can kiss my...
Outlaw quickly interrupts Chance and knocks him down with a clothesline. Chance groans as the Outlaw stomps away at him. Outlaw lifts him up and takes him down with a scoop slam. Chance groans as Outlaw quickly goes to stomping on him... laying the boots into Chance.
Chance groans and tries to get to his feet, but Outlaw picks him up again and takes him to the mat with a suplex. He gets up and yeehaws like the cowboy he is. Chance of course is about sick and tired of this and nips up to his feet... dusting himself off. Outlaw can't believe it!
He charges forward, only for Confidence to catch him with a drop toe hold. He smirks and then grabs Outlaws leg, leaping up with a double stomp onto it! Outlaw groans and clutches it in pain as Confidence continues stomping away at it... trying to ground the much larger opponent... a very smart move.
Outlaw groans as Confidence then grabs his leg and hoists it up high as he can... then slams it onto the mat. The Outlaw groans and clutches it again. Confidence smirks, then runs off the ropes, running back and going for a leg drop right to his sore leg, but Outlaw rolls out of the way. Confidence groans and gets back to his feet, only for Chris James to nail him with a standing lariat.
Outlaw grins as the crowd boos him. He lifts Confidence to his feet then starts pounding away at him with fists, sending Confidence reeling backwards, too dazed to counter. Outlaw then lifts him up and goes for a piledriver to the mat and connects! The cover. 1.....2....
But Confidence kicks out. Outlaw groans and stomps at Confidence at a bit more, trying to soften him up again. He hoists him back to his feet, whipping him into the ropes, then taking him for a sidewalk slam as he comes back! Another cover. 1....2....
But again Confidence kicks out. Chris James groans and starts to get antsy, going for a second pin. 1.... but Confidence easily kicks out. He goes for another, but Confidence stops him with a quick punch to his ugly mug. Outlaw groans, Confidence getting up quickly and laying into Outlaw with some knife edge chops. Outlaw isn't as affected, but stumbles back a little. Confidence then leaps up and nails a dropkick to Outlaw's still injured leg. Outlaw goes back down to the mat, holding it again.
Confidence grabs it and drags it over, placing it on the bottom rope... then propelling himself up and splashing right onto it... ala Vader. Outlaw cringes in pain as Confidence gets back up, holding his slightly sore chest. He sighs... walking out of the ring?
Confidence walks up to the time keeper... taking a bottle of water he's about to open, then takes a chair and sits down, deciding to take a quick drink break. The crowd half cheers, half boos at this level of cockiness. Outlaw's still on the inside, gripping his sore leg.
Confidence gulps the bottle in one chug and wipes his mouth off... then climbs back into the ring and SPITS water right in Outlaw's dirty face.
Confidence: Bet you haven't put water there in awhile!!!
Outlaw groans as Confidence lifts Outlaw to his feet... then leaps up, for a neck breaker, but Outlaw catches him in mid air and throws him right out of the ring!!! Confidence groans and goes rolling. Outlaw grins and climbs out of the ring... lifting Confidence up and slamming his head right into the conveniently placed announce table. He then does it again... and once more. Confidence simply falls back and to the ground. Outlaw lifts him up then throws him back into the ring.
Outlaw slides in after and lifts Confidence to his feet, going for a powerbomb... but it's countered into a desperate Tornado DDT!!! Outlaw acks and goes down as the referee starts to count them both out. 1....2.....3.....4......5.....6.....7.....8....
Confidence and Outlaw both get up at 9. They then start exchanging punches, but Confidence is taking the control of the match now. Punch after punch sending Outlaw backwards a bit more, backing him into the turnbuckle! Confidence signals for it... then charges forward... FLIPPING STINGER SPLASH!!! Outlaws grunts and slumps down to the bottom of the turnbuckle.
Confidence nips up once again... then charges forward again, delivering a dropkick right to Chris Jame's face! The crowd cheers as Confidence gets back up once again! He takes a few breathes... then drags Outlaw to the center of the ring, leaps onto the turnbuckle and off... Confidence Booster!!!
He connects and goes for the cover.............
But the referee has been yanked out of the ring?! Confidence looks up, confused... he should have gotten the three count. Suddenly, from behind... he gets a book right to the back of his head from... you guessed it... Principal Pain! Confidence goes down hard.
He looks down at Outlaw and yells something at him.
Pain: Go on... Finish him off!!!
Outlaw shakes his head... then shrugs, grabbing Confidence and taking him up and leaping off the turnbuckle... The Roundup!!! Confidence it out. Pain exits the ring... Outlaw going for the pin. The ref is back in. 1.....2.....3!!!
Announcer: Here is your winner... the Outlaw Chris James!!!
Outlaw quickly exits the ring, hightailing it on his horse.
Meanwhile Canceler and Pain are in the ring... beating the pulp out of Chance. Canceler hoists him up in a full nelson as Pain delivers another shot with his book! Confidence is busted wide open as the crowd boos.
Pain drops the book and signals for the Expulsion... Canceler hoisting him up... and Pain climbing up top.
But Confidence desperately drops down behind... nailing the low blow to Canceler again! But this time... it does nothing! Looks like somebody wore a cup! Canceler slowly turns around as Confidence attempts a dropsault, but he gets caught and slammed with a MONSTROUS SPINEBUSTER!!! He looks like he's been broken in half.
Chance groans and rolls around in pain as Pain himself still atop the turnbuckle... watching Canceler lift Chance back over his shoulders and Pain leaps off... for the Expulsion and it connects!!! Chance is laid out as the referees try to come out back to help, but Canceler of course knocks them all down as they try to enter.
Meanwhile Pain begins pummeling a laid out... forcibly stood up Chance with powerful fists to his face and chest... Confidence out of it. He looks down and demands a microphone. Someone tosses one.
Pain: CHANCE CONFIDENCE!!! You just can't leave the P.T.A... NO! I DECIDE when you leave. But since you decided to cost us a match.... we decided that... well, an eye for an eye... and a tooth for a tooth. And now... just like Maelstrom... just like Paul Podanski... you're going on a little... FIELD TRIP!!!
The crowd boos as the P.T.A. bus backs back down the ramp once again... right up to the ring. Canceler and Pain grab Chance and hoist him up... then after opening the emergency door... tossing him right inside the bus. Principal takes the microphone.
Pain: Say goodbye to the Best EWT Wrestler my pupils... because you WON'T EVER SEE HIM AGAIN!!!
The Evil Wheel on the Bus song starts up as Pain and Canceler load up into the bus and slowly drive off... the crowd booing immensely.
Fade to commercial.
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Post by Trik Turner on Dec 30, 2005 20:59:07 GMT -5
(Trik Turner sits in the back.)
He's back? He actually had the nerve to come back?
(Trik Turner gets to his feet & takes the chair he was sitting on, folding it up.)
I get my chance. I finally get my chance to shine since I have yet to find anybody worthy of meeting me in the ring. I can not wait. I can not wait for this chance to get him in the ring.
(Trik Turner throws the chair through a window, shattering the window, as he screams.)
THERE'S MORE THEN MEETS THE EYE. THERE'S TRIK TURNER!!!
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Post by Virus aka Captain No-Nuts on Dec 31, 2005 0:30:06 GMT -5
(We fade back to Lillian Garcia standing in the middle of the ring, awaiting the competitors in the next match. Heaven's a Lie hits over the PA system, and Virus comes out from under the Titan/Toomi/Crap/What'sitcalled?Idon'tknowwhat-it'scalled-Tron to a large pop.)
Lillian: The following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall and is an EWT rules match!
JR: Wait a minute, non-title match? Is Virus facing an EWT champion this week, King?
King: Not that I know of, JR! I don't know who Virus's opponent is, but I guess they're pretty good!
Lillian: Introducing first, weighing in at 342 pounds, VIRUS!
(The crowd is buzzing with anticipation as well, having also picked up on Lillian's "non-title" comment. Virus enters the ring and takes the microphone from Lillian for a second to address the crowd.)
Virus: Now, I know what you're thinking. "Non-title match? Virus is facing an EWT champion this week?" No, no, I'm not. However, this champion from another promotion took the time out of a no-doubt busy schedule to face me in a match, after my open challenge last week. He might say he's here because he "never backs down" and he "never quits"!
(Virus hands the microphone back to Lillian as the crowd goes silent in confusion. Who could Virus be talking about?)
JR: A champion from another promotion? Who could it be, King?
(JR's question is answered, not by Jerry Lawler, but by the sudden onset of "The Time is Now" over the PA system! The arena is suddenly electrified!)
King: NO WAY! This can't be happening!
(But it is, as John Cena makes his way out onto the stage!)
JR: Business is about to pick up, King! The WWE Champ is here! John Cena is in the EWT Arena, bah Gawd! Look at these fans!
(The roof has been blown off the arena as fans are on their feet. A few vocal snarks can be heard booing, but the crowd reaction is mostly positive.)
Lillian: And his opponent, he is the reigning WWE champion, JOHN! CENA!
(Virus moves aside as Cena plays to the crowd, spinning the WWE logo on his spinner belt and giving his patented finger-signs to the audience on each turnbuckle. Cena finally hands the belt over to Referee Lee, and takes off his sweatshirt to reveal his wrestling gear. A dueling chant begins as Virus and Cena stare down in the center of the ring.)
Crowd: LET'S GO VIRUS! (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
Crowd: LET'S GO CENA! (clap, clap, clap clap clap!)
JR: What a suprise here, King! EWT fans should be thankful they get to see these two go at it live here tonight!
King: You said it JR!
(Referee Lee returns from placing the belt on the timekeeper's table, and after a short delay, calls for the bell.)
DING DING DING!
JR: And here we go, as both men continue to stare each other down, King!
The staredown and the chant continue for a few more seconds, until finally Cena uncorks a stiff right hand! Virus staggers briefly, but then responds with a monsterous right of his own, knocking Cena to the mat!
JR: And a thunderous shot by Virus sends John Cena to the canvas!
King: Cena trying to outmuscle Virus is like Simon Dean trying to outeat you at an all-you-can-eat barbecue, JR!
Cena gets right back up, however, and eats another haymaker. Another quick rebound, and another right. Cena finally gets back to his feet and stays there by delivering a punch to the stomach of Virus, and then it's John Cena's turn to deliver some forceful punches! Punch after punch meets its mark, the Cena fans in the audience growing louder with each landed shot, and finally Virus is leaning on the ropes for support! Cena flies off the opposite rope, and clotheslines the big man over the top and down to the floor! Virus takes a few seconds to recover as Cena gets pumped in the middle of the ring.
JR: So much for not being able to outmuscle Virus! John Cena finally gets an opening and manages to back Virus into the ropes! Then he follows it up by clotheslining the 6'10" monster down to the floor!
King: How'd that happen?!
Virus is back on his feet now, and climbs onto the apron to re-enter the ring. The WWE champion is ready for him, however, and starts charging Virus for a shoulderblock! At the last second, however, Virus dodges and John Cena's momentum propels him through the ropes and down to the floor! The referee's 10-count resets as Cena tries to regain his bearings.
JR: What instincts by Virus!
King: And Virus isn't done yet, JR! Look out!
Cena returns to his feet, groggied, and Virus jumps off the apron and hits Cena with a massive lariat of his own! Both men are down as the crowd chants intensify, and Referee Lee's count continues!
King: What a clothesline! I think this one is over if Virus can just get Cena back in the ring, JR!
JR: Yeah, King, but that's easier said then done as Virus looks to have hurt himself on that move as well!
4!...5!...6! Virus begins to return to his feet, as John Cena finally begins to move as well. 7! Virus pulls Cena up and throws him bodily into the ring, then follows quickly behind. The count stops, and Virus waits for Cena to get back to his feet. Cena finally gets up, and walks straight into a Virus big boot! Virus goes for the cover...
JR: Virus going for the pin here... 1!... 2!... 3... NO, BAH GAWD! CENA KICKS OUT!
King: That was CLOSE, JR![/b]
Virus, irritated and wanting to get out of the ring so he can keep studying up for the Gauntlet match at Toomi's House Party, signals for the chokeslam. The crowd goes crazy as Cena slowly gets up and....
...DUCKS UNDER VIRUS'S ARM! Virus turns around to be met with a boot to the stomach and a club to the neck before Cena bounces off the nearby ropes and chop-blocks Virus! Virus staggers to one knee!
King: Whoa! Virus got blindsided there JR!
JR: Indeed he did, King, and Cena's chop-block opens up the possibility of an STFU!
Virus is back up, and Cena chop-blocks the same knee again! Virus falls to his knees again, and Cena hits a running dropkick to the back of Virus's head to knock Virus face-first into the mat! Wasting no time, Cena cinches in the STFU!
JR: AND THERE IT IS KING! BAH GAWD! THE STFU! STFU! STFU ON VIRUS!
King: Virus is gonna have to tap if he can't get to the ropes, JR!
Virus can't move towards the ropes, and Cena tightens the pressure on the hold! Virus's face looks strained and Virus is in pain, as the crowd chants to support him! Cena shakes his head and further increases the pressure... Virus's hand raises up into the air...
King: This is it JR! Virus is gonna tap! Virus is gonna tap!
JR: Looks like it, King... and... NO! BAH GAWD WHAT A REVERSAL!
King: What?!
Virus, instead of tapping out, has somehow rolled over on top of John Cena! Cena's shoulders are pinned to the mat!
1!... 2!... Cena releases the hold just in time and rolls out from under the big man. The two men return to their feet and stare down again. The crowd buzzes as both men try to burn a hole through their opponent, until finally Cena charges at Virus! Virus lifts Cena up into the air, into a military press!
JR: It's a long way down from there, King!
King: Cena's gonna need a parachute to drop down from that height, JR!
Virus tosses Cena up and moves forward a step or two, allowing Cena to plummet a good 9 feet down to the mat! Cena gets right back up from shock, only to be mowed right back down by a running clothesline from Virus! Cena looks to be out cold, but instead of going for the pin or signaling for the Infection, Virus walks over to the corner and begins climbing the turnbuckles!
King: Oh no, this can't be good JR!
JR: Virus taking a page out of Kane's book by going up to the top rope... but not for a clothesline, because John Cena isn't getting up any time soon!
Virus gestures to the crowd before leaping up in the air in a giant FROG SPLASH!
JR: And the big man takes flight! If he hits that frog splash, Cena's gonna be bleeding internally!
King: This one's over, JR! Cena's out like a light, there's no way he's gonna... OH MY GOSH!
The crowd moans in despair as Virus clutches his ribcage! There was nobody home on the giant splash, as Cena rolled out of the way just in the nick of time! Cena's back on his feet now, and goes for another STFU!
JR: John Cena trying to apply the STFU again, and after that massive missed frog splash, Virus may have no choice but to tap here, King!
King: Not so fast, JR! Virus isn't letting Cena grab a solid hold of his legs!
Indeed Virus isn't, flailing his legs around dangerously. Cena finally appears to have the upper hand, but Virus compresses his legs and snaps them forward, propelling Cena all the way back across the ring! Cena takes a moment to regain his composure as Virus returns to his feet, then charges the big man again, only to have a hand slapped onto his throat! The crowd goes crazy as they all know what's coming next....
JR: Uh-oh, King, here it comes....
Virus lifts John Cena up into the air, then slams him down to the mat in a hellacious CHOKESLAM!
King: This one's gotta be over, JR! Cena's taken too much punishment!
JR: We'll see, King... Virus with the cover now!
The crowd chants along with Referee Lee's hand falling to the mat...
1!
2!
3....
JR: GOOD LORD WAS THAT CLOSE! Virus was literally a nanosecond away from winning this match!
King: How can John Cena do that, JR?! He should've been out like a light after a slam like that!
Virus is extremely agitated now, and strides furiously around the ring before returning to a position right behind the still groggy Cena. The crowd goes silent for a moment as Virus stares Cena down, before Virus finally points at Cena, looks around at the crowd, and signals for the Infection with the now-familiar cut-throat motion!
King: This'll end it, JR! There's no way John Cena's going to dodge this one!
Cena is finally to his feet, but his back is still to Virus. Cena winces in pain before turning around into a knee to the gut! Virus hooks Cena into the front chancery, then lifts Cena up into the air in the stalling brainbuster! Virus then begins to spin around...
1 time! 2! 3! Sit-down powerbomb!
JR: The Infection, with authority there King! The referee goes to make the count...
1!
2!
3!
DING DING DING!
King: What a match!
JR: These two athletes gave each other their all, and I'm almost sorry to see it end! I hope these two will meet again somewhere down the line, King!
(Virus unentangles himself from Cena, then acknowledges the crowd's chants of "THAT WAS AWESOME!" before rolling out of the ring and heading over to the timekeeper's table, where John Cena's WWE Championship belt is still sitting.)
JR: What's Virus doing there, King? What could he possibly want with John Cena's spinner belt?
(Virus looks at the belt for a moment before taking it in his hands and rolling back into the ring, where John Cena is still on one knee. Virus helps Cena up, before handing him the title and offering his hand out in a handshake. The crowd bursts into cheers as Cena looks at the outstretched hand for a moment before taking it in a firm handshake. Cena then raises Virus's arm and points to Virus in victory as Heaven's a Lie fades out to be replaced by "The Time Is Now.")
JR: What a display of sportsmanship by these two competitors! With an impressive showing like that, you've got to believe that Virus has more than a decent chance of walking out of Toomi's House Party II on January 8th with the EWT OX Division title around his waist!
(Virus celebrates with the fans as we fade to commercial.)
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Ragnal
Game Genie
Yanno what they say: All toasters toast El Dandy
Posts: 8,677,836
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Post by Ragnal on Dec 31, 2005 0:55:02 GMT -5
*High Voltage plays as Mike Ragnal enters the arena wearing his half of the EWT Tag Team titles, hearing the fans chant his name as he walks down the ramp. Mike enters the ring through the ropes and bows as the fans chant “Mikey R! Mikey R! Mikey R!” and Mike takes to the mic.*
MIKE: Thank you! But don’t start chanting my name just yet, folks. Before I get onto the next PPV, I have a message for the Connection.
*The crowd boos at the mention of the Connection.*
MIKE: Kendo…don’t think I forgot about your little Satanic group. After what Chang did to Joe last week, despite his revenge, and what that B**** Chrysta has put my sister through ever since, I haven’t forgotten a damn lick! Pretty soon, Kendo, the Ragnals are gonna bring you up…and TAKE. YOU. DOWN!
*The crowd cheers this on again.*
MIKE: Now, as for the other stuff…There’s a reason I don’t want you chant out just yet. Yes, I am one of the six men in the Survivor Cage at House Party II. Yes, I am going into a match for the EWT Heavyweight title. And yes, I am going up against five other big names in the company. But think about something. I’m going up against Limey, the man who has never beaten me, singles or tag, a former tag champion, and a contender for the then vacant EWT Heavyweight title back at Season’s Beatings!
*The crowd cheers, with a few chants of “Limey! Limey! Limey!”*
MIKE: But he’s not the only one I’m going up against. I also have to deal with his former tag team partner, who…I may be mistaken, but I may have a point here…has NEVER been a contender for the EWT’s single division titles, and has always dealt with the tag division. Not to mention I, along with Joe,whooped his ass at WCBAWAN for the Tag Team titles!
*Mike raises the belt high and mightily, with cheers for Mike, and a few chants of “HBH! HBH! HBH!” and others to “Break the Hitman! *Clap clap clapclap clap**
MIKE: The we have the returning HitmanMark, apparently a former Heavyweight contender, and possibly a former champion as well. I dunno, I don’t know too much about the guy, I’m sorry, he was gone before I joined, so I’ll just skip over him.
*The crowd gives a mix of cheers and boos, as a few other chant “HM Mark! HM Mark!”*
MIKE: We also have the EWT Champ himself, Moxie. An impressive track record, former Tri-State champion, a young Hall of Famer at age 24, and thus far a great EWT Heavyweight champ.
*Another mix of cheers and boos, this time the crowd chanting “Moxie! Moxie! Moxie! Moxie!”
MIKE: Of course, Moxie and I share something. We both have a thing against…virgins.
*The crowd boos, obviously knowing who Mike is discussing.*
MIKE: Oh yeah, you know who I mean. Mr. “Virgin Discrimination”. Billy Ubermark. As you know, Billy was the man I got my first ever title shot from in a Dog Collar match for the Tri-State title at Chained Up. Going into that match, I didn’t care about the outcome. And I was glad to lose to Billy. But as time grew on, I started to see a few things about Billy. The invoices for nudy magazines. The REALLY pathetic pick-up lines. The slang he uses for f***ing a woman. And may I remind you of…DREW?!
*The crowd laughs at all this, while a few others chant out “Viiiiirgin! Viiiiirgin!”*
MIKE: But the last straw came at Season’s Beatings when he and Chocula beat myself and my brother to a mess after a strong match against the Nyrds. Now, we all know that the score with Joe and Chocula is 1-1. I think since I never had a rematch against Billy, it’s time to call the virgin out. Billy, you better hope that ‘training’ with Monique has come in handy, because next week, I want to take you on and show you JUST what I can really do!
And THAT’S the Shocking Truth!
*Mike drops the mic, and the 3LK remix plays as BG James enters and heads down the ramp, then slides into the ring. BG runs at Mike and punches him several times, then does his silly dance, and goes for one last punch, only to have Mike duck under it and goes behind. Mike lifts BG onto his shoulders, and connects the Ragnalrok for the pin.*
1!2!3!
*And there’s the bell. Mike gets up and raises his arm in victory, and takes back to the mic.*
MIKE: You see, Billy? You’re more of a challenge than the Road Dogg here! Let’s see you stand up to the challenge!
*And with that, the fans cheer Mike on as High Voltage plays and he heads to the back.
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Post by Poker Joker on Dec 31, 2005 9:43:23 GMT -5
(The scene opens up backstage in the E.W.T. arena. Standing back there is Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark. Billy is wearing his now trademark leather jacket, along with a pair of designer jeans, a pair of dark sunglasses, and a fancy watch. His black hair is slicked back, and he has a huge smile on his face. Beside him is Josh Mathews.)
*MATHEWS*: Incredible events are unfolding here in the E.W.T. arena, this week! Just announced, Commissioner Toom E. Bischoff's list of people who will compete for the Heavyweight Title in the Survival Cage match at Toomi's Houe Party II! Obviously, that list includes the reigning Heavyweight Champion, Moxie. It also includes The HeartBreak Hitman Brett Michaels, Mike Ragnal, Limey, the returning Hitman Mark, and finally, the man standing beside me right now, Billy "The Vir..." um.... do you want to be called William or...
(Billy looks around quickly to make sure nobody else is around.)
*BU*: Uh... no, man. Moniqua's not around, so Billy's fine!
*MATHEWS*: Very well, then. Billy "The Virgin" Ubermark, you are officially one of the entrants in the Survivor Cage match. Everybody knew beforehand that this was going to be a big day for you with Ultimo Chocula and yourself making your tag-team debut as the "Hansome Boys Modeling School," but THIS announcement has to make things extra special for you.
(Billy chuckles to himself and claps his hands together in excitement before he starts talking.)
*BU*: Josh, you have no idea HOW special this is! Ever since I came into the E.W.T., I've been struggling for acceptance. I've been trying to find ways to make my mark so that people will no longer look down on me for being a VIRGIN. I've put on matches that have left audiences on the edge of their seats. I've clammered my way up the ranks by beating some of the best this company has to offer. And I wrote my name in the history books when I became one of the greatest, and not to mention the longest-reigning, E.W.T. Tri-State Champion, thus far. But even after all of that, I've still been forced to struggle for respect. I'm still looked down upon by certain people in this company who think that I'm not worthy of being here because of my sexual status. But now, I've got a chance to change everything. The E.W.T. Heavyweight Championship is within my grasp, and once I get my hands on it, there will be no denying me as one of the greatest superstars the E.W.T. has ever seen, despite the fact that I'm a virgin.
*MATHEWS*: Billy, that is true, you do have the title shot, but to get it, you used your garunteed "Money in the Bank" contract. Do you think that this was a good time to use it?
*BU*: I was hesitant, at first, but Moniqua made a very good point. A chance like this only comes along once in a lifetime. The belt is around the waist of a weak champion, and I'm ready to pluck it from him!
*MATHEWS*: Well, the current champion is Moxie! How can you say that anyone who has become the Heavyweight Champion, much less Moxie, is weak?
*BU*: You don't know Moxie the way I do, Josh. You see, I was the one who brought Moxie to his knees. I'm the one man who's going to be in that cage who he still fears, and he'll have a damn good reason to. After the last time I feuded with Moxie, I learned how he thinks. I learned what makes him tick, and what ticks him off. I still remember everything I ever learned about him, and I'll put it all to good use in the Scramble Cage.
*MATHEWS*: I see. But what about the other competitors in the match. There will be four other men looking to dethrone Moxie, just like you are.
*BU*: What other competitors? HBH is good, and he's gotten rid of that seven-foot pile of garbage that was following him around, so there's nobody holding him back anymore. But he's still not the hottest young superstar in the E.W.T. Uh-uh! That's me! Mike Ragnal, one half of the current tag-team CHUMPS? I've whipped his ass while he was on a dog chain, and believe me, he's still my b****! Limey and the old man, Hitman Mark? I'll deal with them when the time comes. No, Josh, I can pretty much say that it's going to come down to between me an Moxie. And when that happens, only one of us is going to walk out alive, just like before. And just like before, its gonna be me.
*MATHEWS*: Those are some strong words, Billy. Good luck to you. Now, not to change the subject, but you and Ultimo Chocula are going to make your tag-team debut, shortly, as the Handsome Boys Modeling School. Recently, at the Seasons Beatings pay-per-view, you two not only announced the formation of your new team, but you made a statement by blindsiding the current tag-team champions, Mike and Joe Ragnal. Billy, you haven't had much good to say about the Ragnals, and you and Chocula seem pretty confident that you'll be taking the titles off of them, soon.
*BU*: Let me correct you on something, Josh. It's not that I haven't had much good to say about the Ragnals. I haven't had ANYTHING good to say about the Ragnals! What the Ragnals are is a pair of muscle-bound meatheads with a couple of belts strapped around their guts that they don't deserve. Like I said before, I've fought Mike Ragnal in the past. I remember him coming in as a snot-nosed punk, and even though I was the Tri-State Champ, he STILL didn't respect me, because I was a Virgin. After our match, though, he changed his tune in a hurry. I proved to everyone watching exactly who the better wrester was, and that Mike Ragnal was a joke. Then his half-wit brother got into the mix, though.... AND his sister or cousin, or whatever she is to him... I dunno, I think they're all related, anyways, and there's a bunch of inbreeding involved. I'm sure of it.
(Billy runs his hands through his hair and takes a quick breath before continuing on.)
*BU*: Whatever the case, now he and his brother-cousin-father-uncle-grandma-whatever are Tag-Team Champions? That's not right! Those two untalented, muscle-bound piles of goo are holding titles have no business holding title belts. They're stealing the respect and attention that WORTHY superstars like Ultimo Chocula and I deserve. So Chocula and I are going to make sure we get that attention.... that respect... and most importantly, those Tag-Team Titles. We WILL show the entire world that why we are the fastest rising tag-team in the E.W.T.'s ranks, and we WILL show that there is nobody out there who can stop us. We've got the looks. We've got the moves. And we ARE going to become E.W.T. Tag-Team Champs. Count on it.
*MATHEWS*: Since we're on the subject of the Ragnals, you may or may not have heard Mike Ragnal say some disparaging things of his own about you, as he challenged you to a one-on-one match for next week. Your thoughts?
*BU*: So that second-rate punk still likes to run his mouth, huh? Some things never change. Yeah, I heard him, spouting off more crap about my virginity, and my past. I guess someone has let their fancy gold belt go to their head. You can tell Mike Ragnal that I'll take him up on that match. Does he think that he's on the same level as me because he and his brother got lucky and won the tag-belts? Whatever the case, its time I brought him back to reality. Tell him that some joke he's faced from the rest of that weak-ass tag-team division, like The Nyrds or the Cohlns. This is the hottest young superstar in the E.W.T., and a former Tri-State Champion. I'll be glad to take his ego back down a notch.... just like I did the last time we fought.
*MATHEWS*: Well, Billy, it sounds like you're pretty confident about both your singles AND tag-team future. I have to know, though, what does your partner, Ultimo Chocula think about your entry into the Survivor Cage match at Toomi's House Party II?
*BU* (starting to look over his shoulder to see if anyone is coming): Chocula? Well, uh... I don't think he really knows about it, yet. Its uh... oh, here he comes now.
(As Billy finishes speaking, Moniqua and Ultimo Chocula come walking up behind him. Chocula pats Billy as he approaches.)
*UC*: Hey Willie! We're on in about 30 minutes. Whatcha up to? Telling the couch potatos at home what the score is?
*BU*: Something like that.
*UC*: Beauty. Well, I don't know about you but I'm itching to go (BLEEP) up some Brits. Ready to go?
*BU*: Let's do it!
(Chocula turns from Billy and faces Josh Mathews.)
*UC*: You're not Terri but you'll do, I guess. So what about it, turkey lips? You got any questions you wanna ask the King Choculon? I'm sure the world is dying to know.
*MATHEWS*: I think Billy gave me all I need, Chocula. Thanks, though.
*UC*: Listen jerk. The fans are demanding some Ultimo on the TV. I can't say I don't blame 'em.
*MONIQUA*: Come, boys. Its almost time to show the world just how dangerous a couple of Handsome Boys can be.
(Moniqua leads Billy and Chocula off the screen and away from Josh Mathews. After she does so, the scene fades to black with Mathews holding his microphone and gesturing to the cameraman to "cut.")
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Dec 31, 2005 12:21:47 GMT -5
*We are backstage. Limey and Carla O Woe are present, and Sum Guy walks into frame.*
SG: I'm Sum Guy, and I'm desperately trying to upstage that new Gary Michael Cappetta guy. Now...Limey, you heard Toomi. You're entered in the survival cage along with the new and improved Billy Ubermark; the current tag champion Mike Ragnal; the dominant Bret Michaels who sent his former buddy Gasoline to the hospital; the CURRENT champion of EWT, Moxie; and none other than a TRUE returning legend...HitmanMark. I gotta ask you...what are your thoughts?
Limey: Sum...You know that when I go out there, I give my all, I bleed for the fans, I hurt, I tear myself apart for me...for Carla...for the fans...and FOR THE GOLD!!!! At the House Party, there will be NO EXCEPTIONS!!! I couldn't have asked for a better set of opponents...well..maybe not Billy...what's his deal, anyway?
*The crowd chants "Screw the virgin!" as Carla laughs back at this.*
Limey: Billy Ubermark, owner of the largest persecution complex known to man...Billy, I know you've been itching to lose your virginity for some time now. Well, let me tell you Billy, if you're in the ring with me, the only things you'll lose are TEETH, BLOOD and THE MATCH, mate!!! You're itching for a SCREW? If you face me, you'll feel a TWIST, mate!! A full-on TWIST O' LIME!!!!
*The crowd pops as Carla nods on. Limey takes a breather, then returns to the subject at hand.*
Limey: And Mike Ragnal...I've never had the opportunity to beat him in a match. There's a lot of history between us, Sum. He's the one that ended my winning streak upon entering EWT, he's the one that ended the Limey Invitational, and he's the one that won the tag titles off me and Bret. Mike, you're right. I haven't ever beaten you in singles OR tag team action. But I have a gut feeling that that's about to change, Mikey. I have taken loss after loss here in EWT, and all it's done is strengthen me. I really hope you've been training hard, Mike, because you KNOW I have. I feel for your situation with the Connection, and you have my blessing to kick their asses in the best possible way! But once you step into the ring, Mike, it's a whole new story. I never pull any punches, and I lay down for no man. I'm not going to let anything get in the way of reaching the gold, Mike. If that means I have to fight you, I'll do it. If that means I have to hit you with a TWIST O' LIME, I'll do it! If it means I have to dig deep within myself to pin you, to make you tap, ALL FOR THE CHANCE TO WIN THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP...I'm there. Nothing personal, Mike. It's just how I roll.
*A mixture of chants for Limey and Mikey R start up. Limey takes a few breaths.*
Limey: And then we have Bret. Bret...you and I have some unfinished business. When Flex Magnificent was making my life a misery...when we won the gold...when I took SWEET CHIN MUZAK after SWEET CHIN MUZAK, ALL FOR YOUR FREAKING REPUTATION...I never had the opportunity to take it to your face. But now that Flex is between being embarrassingly outstaged by Spaz...
*A large "SPAZ" chant starts up. Limey pauses so that Spaz can be honoured*
Limey:...and being Maelstrom's own marked man...
*An equally large "MAELSTROM" chant starts. Limey pauses again so that Maelstrom can be honoured.*
Limey: ...I'm as free as a bird, Bret. And just so we're clear...it always took two to hold the titles. But it will only take one to remind you, Bret. After what you did to Gas...you deserve no mercy. You are one low life-form, Bret, and if you have the MISFORTUNE of facing me...let me tell you something, Bret. In a weird sick way...I'll enjoy it. I'll enjoy taking you apart in every way. And if you have a problem with the way I'm speaking, GUESS WHAT? I don't give a ****!!!! That's life mate, and life will GIVE...YOU...LIMES!!!!
*The crowd cheers for Limey amidst chants of "Break the hitman!"*
Limey: Then there's Moxie...
*There is an uncomfortable "oooh" from the crowd. Limey takes a minute, and then continues.*
Limey: Moxie, remember me? I'm sure you do. You're one tough son of a *****, Moxie, and although you're not the most popular guy backstage...you've earned my respect. Hell, I'm still stinging from our match at Season's Beatings, and that's saying summat. But you know what, Moxie? As far as I'm concerned, there's ALWAYS time for a rematch. You've shown determination, strength, and a type of aura about you that's downright scary. But I will always fight tooth and nail for the title until it's mine, Moxie. At Season's Beatings, you were the better man. I admit that. But at the House Party, we're going to see otherwise, Moxie. I hope your not too attached to the belt, because at Toomi's House Party II, it's mine! I blew my first opportunity...it's NOT going to happen again!! At Season's Beatings, you and I took each other to hell and back!! At Toomi's House Party II, we return to hell, Moxie, and this time, *I* will be crawling out...the EWT World Heavyweight title on my shoulder!!!
*Another mixture of Moxie and Limey chants hit, with the Moxie chants slightly louder than the Limey chants.*
Limey: And the legend....HitmanMark. You know...the time I've spent here in EWT...the time I've spent climbing the ladder, chasing my dream...despite everything, I'm still a rookie when compared to someone like HitmanMark. I was as pleased as anyone when I heard the Fallen Dragon was back. And it would be an honour to fight someone like him. But the stakes are high, Sum. I can't let anything like respect of a hall-of-famer get in the way of my dream...my destiny. Fallen Dragon...you'd better prepare yourself for one hellacious welcome back party. If you face me, you'll learn what happens when you leave the EWT alone to a handful of blue-chippers that can take beatings, dish out punishment, and love every second of it. I hope you like what we've done with the place, Fallen Dragon. And if I'm chosen to be the one to test you on how EWT rolls now...it would be an honour. But let me tell you something, I will NOT make it easy for you.
*A large "FALLEN DRAGON" chant starts up. Limey isn't offended, though. He knows HitmanMark to be a true legend.*
SG: Well...that's all of them. Looks like you had a few choice words for each competitor in the Survival Cage, Limey!
Limey: I'm not telling anyone anything they didn't already know. But enough plaigerism. Sum, the bottom line is, at Toomi's House Party II, I will stop at nothing to get the championship around my waist. And if anyone, I don't care if it's Billy, Mike, Bret, Moxie or HitmanMark that gets in my way...the result will be the same. Life will give...THEM...LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Limey walks off. Carla smirks at Sum Guy, adjusts her GND Division Championship, and walks away.*
SG: Well, from all of us here in EWT, I'm Sum Guy, and I REAAAAALLLY hope I'm not being phased out.
*Fade to commercial.*
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Post by cattlemutilation on Dec 31, 2005 14:33:09 GMT -5
-Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat is waiting in the ring
-Lost in Hollywood hits, as the arena goes dark. Suddenly, a light flashes, and AJ Helms makes his way to the ring.
-AJ enters the ring, and starts to get up in Steamboats face right away. Then, the bell rings and AJ steps on Steamboats foot, and then pokes him in the eye. Proud of himself, AJ runs around the ring, and Steamboat catches him with a Lariat.
-Ricky starts to punch and kick AJ, and AJ seems to be knocked out. Ricky climbs to the top rope, and AJ kips up. AJ runs to the corner and hits a leg lariat on Ricky. AJ sets Ricky on the top, And hooks both his arms. AJ jumps backwards, flipping Ricky over, hitting the Meltdown. AJ waits for Ricky to stand up, and puts him into a headlock, throws him, and locks in the Mutilator. Ricky taps, and AJ leaves the arena as Lost in Hollywood plays.
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Deamon Cohln
Don Corleone
AND THAT'S THE GODDAMN TRUTH!
Posts: 1,962
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Post by Deamon Cohln on Dec 31, 2005 18:57:05 GMT -5
*Deamon and Jacola are in the cafeteria. Jacola is sitting at the table looking ahead. Deamon is at the vending machine off camera, but you can here him bashing on it.*
Deamon: *Off-camera with the sound of Deamon bashing on the machine.*DAMN MACHINE! GIVE ME MY SKITTLES!*A sound of a clunk and Deamon comes back on screen. He speaks with a mouthful of Skittles* Whafs up wif fu?
Jacola: I’m just confused on how Toomi didn’t give me that title shot. I mean look at me, I embody what a pro wrestler is! Great body, tons of charisma, a willing to destory people. Why can’t I get anything?
Deamon: You’ve only been here for about three months now give it some time…
Jacola: but you’ve only been here for three months too, and you got. Hell you’re first Pay Per View was against me. And you get a OX Title shot...
Deamon: Ah, the memories. I kicked your ass too so that didn’t help. You know what you need to do? You need to go out there by yourself and show Toomi and all these idiots in the audience what your really made of.
Jacola: Like go destroy the next person that goes out?
Deamon: No, no, calculate your move. Make it tactical and thought out. Make it someone who would make you have some respectability. Now when you went after me. That was a bad move. I wasn’t respectable yet.
Jacola: You’re right, hell you’re still not respected.
Deamon: *looking a bit pissed off now.* Let’s not go into that right now. You just need a bit more time. Relax right now, have some Skittles.
Jacola: No thanks, the sissy purple ones suck.
Deamon: What? *he looks at the bag* GODDAMNIT I PRESSED THE BUTTON FOR ORIGNAL FRUIT! DIE MACHINE! *He picks up a chair and walks off screen as Jacola watches. There’s a crash off-screen. He walks back on screen and grabs Jacola by the shirt.* We have to go nowwwwwww.
Jacola: *He looks at the destruction* Oh god, that’s the goddamn truth.
*They walk off-screen as Sum Guy walks into picture.*
Sum Guy: Whoa, maybe I was lucky I was late.
*The camera fades out*
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Post by girlnextdoor on Dec 31, 2005 21:53:43 GMT -5
Announcer: This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring first is the woman known as Sable. And her opponent is that mysterious lady of EWT....Mystery.
*Sable gets in the ring & waits, as Mystery doesn't come out.*
And her opponent is that mysterious lady of EWT....Mystery.
*Sable & the referee look towards the back again. Nothing.*
And her oppponent......*just then, the ToomiTron shows darkness as a voice is heard.*
I've been here a month. More then a month. I don't know. I tried. I tried to fit in.
BUT NOBODY ACCEPTED ME!!!
Sally hurt me 5 years ago. I tried to make her pay & she didn't show up. Oceanic hurt me a few weeks ago. The fans hurt me. Everybody hurt me.
I beat the women I faced. I beat Richter. I beat Nakano. I get in the ring week in & week out. Nobody cheers me. They boo me.
DO I BORE YOU? DO I BORE YOU??
I don't bore me. I watch my tapes at home, & I don't bore me.
YOU PEOPLE BORE ME!! And that is why tonight, I refuse to let you bore me tonight.
Raise Sable's hand. Count me out.
I want respect. Is that so wrong? Is that so wrong?
I have feelings. I hurt. I cry.
STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!! STOP LAUGHING!!!
They told me what you'd do If I ever stayed with you. They told me that you'd laugh While I cried.
They told me what you'd say That you'd turn and walk away And find another place to play, While I cried.
Sable wins this week....but next week...next wee, I want Sable to show her my suprise that I am preparing for everybody.
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Post by viscera on Dec 31, 2005 21:56:06 GMT -5
Sum Guy is standing by
Sum Guy: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Best of the EWT 2005. As you know... many people have been hired by EWT... but not all of them are able to retain their jobs. Some of them... well... lose theirs. Here's a look back at all of the potential hired people that were released.
* The screen cuts to a montage... showing pictures of various fired wrestlers who left us this year to That Nah Nah Nah Nah song.
It shows the following people
Paul Poo Bob and Chris Masters, The Jabroni's of Bacon Cue Paul The Ultimate Lawyer Marshall Law The Monstrosities Bonito Y Suave Shirley Team 187 Paul Roma and Dave Whatisname Iggy Dinkleburg The Paulnisher jessedark Mean Simmons Obi Dean Dicksky Ogre Tim " The Toolman " Terror Mad Matt Rage Les E Biase C.O.W ( Not Carla O Woe ) Secretary Saucy ( Also Not Tanya Flaire ) Epidemik Barbwire Harry Bison Tonto Destroyer And More
The scene ends showing a montage of all the characters profile pics... which looks like a huge mess
So long potential EWT wrestlers... have fun in the Indies
Sum Guy: What a sad video... coming up next... EWT Bloopers!!!
Fade to commercial.
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Post by crauswell on Jan 1, 2006 1:01:20 GMT -5
Sum Guy: Well folks... we're about to enter the new year apparently ... but still, no signs have been seen of this supposed person whose supposed to debut tonight.
Joey Styles: Well... if you ask me Sum... I think this was all a bluff!!! This guy is a coward or something...
Suddenly Styles is cut off as Fight for your right to Party starts up and Theo Rumm walks out to the ring to a huge pop!!!
Sum Guy: Oh my god!
Joey Styles: Hey....
Sum Guy: Theo Rumm has returned!!! I don't believe it!!!
Theo Rumm slaps hands with the crowd as he walks down the ramp and quickly hops into the ring, motioning for a microphone from someone, and get's tossed one.
Styles: Well what is he doing here?
Theo Rumm silences the very loud crowd and speaks up.
Theo Rumm: The human whoop ass machine is back baby!!!
The crowd explodes with cheers!
Theo: That's right... tonight to mark in the new year, I am going to issue an open challenge to anyone in the back locker room!!! In the first match of 2006!!!
The crowd pops again and chants Theo!!! Theo!!! Theo!!! Theo simply stands there with a pleased look on his face.
Theo: I was going to try and be in the Survival Cage Match... but it seems HitManMark beat me to the punch as returning EWT guy... so I'm cool with that. I wish luck to everyone in that match... well excluding Ubermark.
The crowd boos and chants " He's a Virgin!!! " He's a Virgin!!! " Theo Rumm grins wide again and silences the crowd again.
Theo: But seriously folks I'm here tonight to do what I always do... and that is to be a human whoop ass machine! So... who's gonna challenge me huh?
Theo waits for a bit... but nobody answers at first.
Theo Rumm: C'mon... this is one night deal. I might not be wrestling for awhile after this! you scared?! Don't make me...
Theo is cut off as suddenly... the Toomitron lights up with a countdown clock.
10....
9.....
8.....
7.....
6.....
5.....
4.....
3.....
2......
1......
The clock countdown to 0 and suddenly... a huge set of pyros go off... as The Song Broken Wings starts up. Theo looks completely confused as suddenly... a guy wearing a full body suit... that's covered with feathers walks out. He has a pair of wings on his back and a tail and the head of... a Gryphon? Of course... this is probably some kinda mask. Theo simply looks on completely baffled.
The bird man walks down the ramp slowly, not even looking at him. Theo looks absolutely confused as the man slides into the ring. He's looks pretty buff at 6'4. He slides into the ring and looks at Theo.
Theo: So... what is this the EWT equivalent to the Goobeldy Gooker or something?
The crowd laughs when suddenly... the Bird Man snatches the microphone from Rumm.
Bird Man: Finally... the new year is upon us... and in this case... the new BEGINNING for the EWT!!! I waited weeks... I simply stood ready... eager to enter this ring and make you all respect me! And now... finally I have gotten that opportunity.
The crowd doesn't really know what to think. Theo walks up, with a new microphone.
Theo: So you're telling me... you are accepting my challenge?! Well... that's fine with me... bring it on!!!
The bird man turns around and charges forward with a Leg Lariat to the face to Rumm, taking him down immediately! The crowd looks shocked as the man rises again... dropping the microphone and waiting for him to rise up. Theo slwoly rises up... a bit shocked. He then gets a standing lariat... sending him back down.
The bird man leaps up and nails Theo with a headbutt to the chest, causing him to groan in pain. He then proceeds to lock him in a cross face Chicken Wing!!! Theo Rumm yelps in pain and tries to escape the hold.... but the bird man keeps it locked on tight. He groans and tries to get to the ropes... but the Bird man not allowing it. Soon Theo Rumm somehow manages to grab the ropes though! The referee now in the ring forces the Bird Man to break the hold... which he does.
He slowly rises up... lifting Theo to his feet, only to start getting some powerful fists to the face, sending him back a bit as Theo Rumm tries to build some momentum!!! He slowly backs him into the turnbuckle... then charges forward for a clothesline! The bird man groans and backs out of the corner... as Theo Rumm picks him up and Nails... The Drunk Driver!!! He goes for a cover!!! 1.....2......
NO!!! The bird man kicks out. Theo can't beleive it. He quickly crosses his throat and hoists himself up onto the turnbuckle... then leaps off with the Rumm on Tap!!!
But He gets caught!!! Theo can't believe it. Bird Man is back on his feet as he then tosses Theo up about a foot in the air, catches him and powerslams him to the mat!!! He immediately gets back up... then looms over him, Theo slowly getting up, then turned around... and grabbed by the neck... then set up for a powerbomb with the other hand... and slammed down!!!
Joey Styles: What the hell was that?!
Sum Guy: I think theo may have been knocked out cold!!!
The referee runs over to check... and raises Theo's arm three times...
he's out!
Announcer: Your winner as a result of knock out... ummmmm
The bird man reaches over.
Bird Man: My name... is Crauswell!!!
He drops the mike and exits the ring, the crowd in shock as Theo Rumm lays motionless.
Joey Styles: What the hell was that move he did? It looks like it broke him in half!!!
Sum Guy: I think it was a choke slam... into a powerbomb... or a powerbomb... chokeslam thing.
Styles: Whatever it was... Crauswell has made one HELL of an impact here tonight and I see big things for his future!!!
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DQorDie
Bubba Ho-Tep
Believe in yourself & ROCK N ROLL!!!
Posts: 635
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Post by DQorDie on Jan 2, 2006 0:09:09 GMT -5
*The PsychaDeli is in the camera’s sights as we hear that familiar sitar strum ringing in for the generic hippie theme song. The PsychaDeli logo appears on the screen as we see all the members working hard at their part-time job. We close in on the Salami Swami who greets us*
Salami Swami: Aaah many greetings to you. As we have special guests The Handsome Boy Modeling School here today. And now your most humble host....PARASLICE!!!
*Paraslice walks out from the meat locker with a chain of Polish sausages around his neck as he struts over to the center of the PsychaDeli*
Paraslice: LADIES & GENTLEMEN! THE PSYCHADELI!!!!! *boos from the crowd* Haha what a show we have in store for you tonight. And I must say that just like our fine Swiss Cheese it will be sure to please. *As he says this Delicious Dick walks out dropping the next package of Swiss on the counter.* Aaah speaking of Swiss I see you have the next load, Dick. *Dick has a satisfied look on his face as he digs in his thong & whips out a condom & throws it in the recycling bin* Savin’ that one for later I see haha. *Dick pouts his lips & nods again as he goes back to the counter*
But before we bring out our Special Guests of the Day.....I’d like to wish every one a Happy New Year &......a Happy Mother’s Day! *crowd gives a confused groan* I know it’s not really Mother’s Day, but without these brave courageous women who spent 9 WHOLE MONTHS carrying us & going through even more trials & tribulations to pop us out....Without mothers we would not be ringing in this new year now would we? Because of this I have made a New Year’s Revolution to make Mother’s Day EVERYDAY!!! And I am going to start off with giving gifts to the mother’s of the EWT Superstars. Maelstrom...I sent your mother some lovely Smoked Samon.....To Limey...I sent your mother an excellent roasted pig with a lemon in it’s mouth! To our guests tonight I have sent their mothers beauuutiful horse dourves made from ground up horse....Well they’re all French Supermodels I figure they like weird stuff like that....And the rest of the EWT crew all have their PsychaDeli own delicacies sent to their mothers.....Except.......Paul Podanski.......Now Paul I am definitely going to send your mother something for Mother’s Day. Just like lyrics to Auld Lang Syne...May old acquaintances be forgotten & never remembered....Meaning let’s put all this behind us. For your upcoming match I will be sending you & your mother a very special New Year’s Mother’s Day gift. Because afterall....You retired my brother....drove him to suicide.....and continue to mock his memory by stealing his tool belt & making it a part of your normally puke stained wardrobe. BUT I realize my brother is gone & that you really didn’t cause his suicide.....So as a peace offering I will send you & your mother a gift for your match this week. I have been ready to go to a lot of trouble to end your career Paul. Stuff that you don’t want to know about. But I am willing to call a cease & desist. With the holidays & all....like the Grinch my heart has been melted like cheese on our finely made macaroni salad. And well Paul frankly I think you’re a great guy. Though my brother is no longer with us you are becoming a fine ToolShed Division champion which I am sure you will carry high above the masses for years & years. Buddy, I hope you can accept my apology & gift this week.
But I know the fans at home may be feeling left out. But hey I am not here to leave anyone out. It’s ChrismaHanukwanakis & with a new year, a new lease on life from your ol’ pal Paraslice & the Psycha Deli & why not continue all this newness with you the fans. May I present to you first the newest diva of the EWT, who also happens to be the newest manager of the newest tag team here in the EWT, The Handsome Boy Modeling School!, just looking at her makes my bells jingle, may we all have a Psycha Deli welcome to our first guest......MONIQUA MORRICONE!!!!
(Moniqua opens the PsychaDeli’s entrance door as the bells jingle and walks onstage wearing a very high priced designer houndstooth jacket and skirt combo, Fru Fru cradled in her arm. She is greeted by Ol’ King Cold Cuts who extends his hand to the fair haired manded but unlike the last time we saw him he know has meat hands. She politely declines his kingships offer as she proceeds to look at the crowd. She does the double cheek kiss to Paraslice as we begin our interview.)
Moniqua: "Grazie, Signore Slice. It is wonderful to be here. Say hello to the nice man, Fru Fru!"
Fru Fru: "Yip!"
Paraslice: "Welcome to the Psycha Deli Moniqua & thank for being our first guest here at the Deli. I must say you are looking quite scrumptous today. But let’s get down to business. Since the Handsome Boy Modeling School has entered here in the EWT the tag team division has not been the same. Because frankly teams like the Nyrds & The Ragnals don’t cut it anymore. There’s no edge! And we here at the Psycha Deli know all about cutting & edges. Am I right DICK! *The camera is panned up close & personal on Delicious Dick’s face. Dick pouts his lips & nods head in approval as the camera slowly pans out showing him put on some goggles as he puts on the juice to the blade & slaps a pork butt as he proceeds to make slices out of it* And of course it is quite obvious that you are a brain trust for this alignment. The CEO if you will So my first question is what brings you to the EWT? It doesn't seem like the kind of place for someone of your stature."
Moniqua: "Si, this is very true. Ever since I was a child I've been the curious sort. I have always been intrigued by two things, fashion and competition. I have already excelled in the fashion industry, what with my designing and modeling school, but I wasn't getting a challenge. Oh no no no! I had risen to the top of the fashion industry almost too easily, there was no thrill. I felt unfulfilled. Then one day, backstage at a Virsace show in Prague, a TV was on and on it was one of your EWT shows. I loved the action with the two men battling for supremacy! But at the same time I was appalled at these brutes! Untamed, uncultured, and worst of all, not one had any taste! Not a shred! Disgustino! I decided right there that had to change! I flew 1st class to America the next day to see this EWT first hand, and I watched each contest for two boys I could transform not only into champions, but the most handsome models in the world! For you see, looking good goes hand in hand with being the best!"
Paraslice: "Is this where Billy and Ultimo come in?"
Moniqua: "Tut tut! They are to be referred to as William and Signore Chocula! Si, when I first saw my two boys I knew it was they who would become the fruition of my vision! They were perfecto! One was sexy, not successful. The other was very successful, but not sexy. But when you put the two together you get..........THE HANDSOME BOY MODELING SCHOOL!"
("Look At This Face" comes over the speakers. Billy and UC make their triumphant debut as the HBMS, dressed to the nines in tuxedos and peering out behind expensive sunglasses. Flashbulbs go off from everywhere as the walk from the entry to the floor, stop, twirl around, then walk over to Moniqua, who is clapping enthusiastically. The other members of the PsychaDeli posse look around trying to figure out where all the flashes are coming from.)
Paraslice: "Welcome to the show, guys. I must say this is quite a change!"
Billy: "That's the understatement of the year. You see, I always thought it was everyone else's fault that I was a virgin. I thought that they couldn't see me as the smart, attractive, young happening go getter that I knew I was. And after a while I started to think that maybe it's me. Maybe there was something wrong with me that women found repulsive. That's when I met Moniqua, and with her help and guidance I learned........that it really is everybody else that's messed up! I mean, look at me! I'm stunning! I bet all you women who turned me down all those times are kicking yourselves now! Regret it and weep! Now I'm the drop dead gorgeous hunk I always knew I was! And when you combine that with my wrestling talent, you got one helluva guy! All you jerks in the EWT, look out! Billy's back! Ladies, the line for hot steamy sex forms to my left!"
Moniqua: "Now now, William. Handsome boys do not form lines for women like you are a ride at the circus. They graciously invite women to their rooms for gentle love making."
Billy: "Whatever you want to call it, I'm going to be doing it all up and down!"
*Senor Splash continues his mopping hunched over & he goes in between Paraslice & The Handsome Boy Modeling School. Everyone being interviewed takes notice as he’s swashing his wet mop all over the floor in a beyond pathetic attempt at doing his job. Moniqua is highly offended at such an act as Ultimo & Billy get water splashed on their Bruno Magli shoes. Splash looks up at Moniqua & speaks into the mic *
Senor Splash: Hey...It ain't rape if she blinks twice for yes...
Moniqua: My word! What a brute!
Senor Splash: Nah I was out of dat so I decided to spray deodorant on my mask? Is good, si?
*Paraslice immediately pushes Senor Splash to the wayside as Splash scratches his mask, then his mask, then picks his janitor suit out the crack of his butt & carries on with his business.*
Paraslice: Ugh, sorry about that. It’s just that I married his sister so she could be a citizen & they’re kinda not letting me divorce her & also I made an agreement with them that they’d supply the cheese direct from their underfed goats.BUT! anyway!....And what about you Ultimo?"
UC: "Ever since I've been in EWT I could never catch a break. Three shots at the OX Division belt and I got screwed out of every one. Little Joe Raggle, who I beat, becomes one half of the tag team champions while I get left behind. I become the first official Toolshed champion but those cretins in the crowd still root for Pow. Then he steals the title off of me and now everyone thinks the sun shines out his ass! Hello! What about me? I'm a *BEEP!*ing legend in the making and I'm being ranked lower than The Gambler? Bull *BEEP!* That's all changing now, cuz with Moniqua and Billy, there's no stopping me! Look out, jerks! The Handsome Boy Modeling School is going to level this federation like Godzilla levels Tokyo! RRRAAAAWWRRRR!!!"
Moniqua: "Shush! Handsome Boys do not make such noises like a giant lizard!"
UC: "Actually, it's a gorilla whale. I should know. I have all of his movies."
Moniqua: "That is not important. Oh look. You scared poor Fru Fru. Oh my little baby..."
(Moniqua nuzzles Fru Fru as his little tail wags and he lets out a yip. Billy and UC look at each other like she's nuts but shrug it off. Moniqua addresses the crowd one last time.)
Moniqua: "And there you have it. Words straight from the stallion's mouths. Soon enough the EWT tag titles will become the ultimate accessories for my two handsome boys!"
Billy: "Not to mention the EWT World title when I kick Moxie's head in one more time at the Survival Cage!"
UC: "Yeah! Hey wait, what's that now?"
*All of a sudden Senor Splash gets in front of everyone again seemingly choking on something. Everyone in the Handsome Boy Modeling School is looking at one another*
Billy: Hey, is he alright?
Paraslice: Yeah, he does this every once in awhile. Don’t worry.
* Senor Splash is now on his hands & knees with a horrible case of the dry heaves. His mask is turning from blue to red*
Moniqua: Are you sure. *Senor Splash belly juices are noticeably rumbling at audible levels* Ugh! He looks like death himself!
Paraslice: Nah....To him this is like his form of breathing. Trust me.
*Splash stands up & starts holding his throat continue to violently dry heave until he starts making the throwing up noises. All of a sudden....
HE VOMITS OUT A LIVE CAT!!!
Moniqua is in total shock as she is in fear for her Fru Fru being attacked by his vomit soaked cat.
Ultimo is having a blast at what just happened, but Billy reminds him to be a “handsome boy” so he tries to stop the cat. Moniqua is like a stone pillar as everyone in the PsychaDeli is chasing after the cat*
Senor Splash: Here gatto! Here pussy pussy! Come here el gatto! *pulls out some cat food from his janitor suit & starts giggling it around while also eating some* I have de Friskies for yooou!
Moniqua: DON’T LET HIM NEAR MY FRU FRU!!!!
Vomit Cat: MEOOOOOOWWWW!!!
*Everyone continues chasing after the cat until the cat jumps up on the counter & does a Superfly leap off the counter directly back into Splash’s mouth. He has the entire head inside his mouth. With it inside his mouth her jerks it up & swallows half the torso. He makes a slurping sound & swallows the entire cat back into his body.
He is right by Moniqua & lets out a horrendous belch that undoes her hair & pulls it back in a temporarily stiff position. Her eyes & visage are of utter shock as Fru Fru is continuously barking. Billy & UC attend to her as it pans away bringing Paraslice back into view as he begins scolding Senor Splash*
Paraslice: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! This is our first legitimate guests & you have to go and swallow a live cat before the show! Chew next time!!! Jesus! Ugh Anyway....That’s it for this week folks. Next week we’ll definitely have some more lovin’ from the oven. And may I wish you all Peace, Love, & Pastramy.....& a Happy Mother’s Day to you Paul Podanski!
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Doomrider
Hank Scorpio
I wanna bang Marla.
Posts: 6,058
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Post by Doomrider on Jan 2, 2006 0:28:17 GMT -5
-=Scene=- The fellahs are sitting around the Psychadeli hanging out and doing nothing as usual when the topic of New Years comes up.
-=Salami Swami=- Slater my son, how was your eve of the New year?
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- Not bad, Swami…I baked a cake…well not really…but she sure had a lot of dough on her!
-=Scene=- The Psychadeli crew collectively laughs.
-=“Delicious” Dick Slater=- Some yeast, too!
-=Scene=- The crew silences
-=Ol’ King Kole Kuts=- Ok Dick…that’s enough from you…how about you Splash…how was your night?
-=Scene=- The camera pans over to Splash and zooms in on his left eye. The area around his eyeball is visibly perspiring as his eye twitches. A liquidly flashback like transition brings us to Splash in his underwear surrounded by flames running from an old Cadillac. In the Caddy is Tanya Harding, Murdoch from the A-Team, and Gary Busey…all pointing and laughing at Senor Splash as he runs. We cut back to Senor back in the Psychadeli in his chair.
-=Senor Splash=- I don’t want to talk about it…I need to calm down…I need to relax tonight…I know what I need…
-=Scene=- Splash stands up, bids the Psychadeli an adeiu, and heads out the door. We cut to Splash standing wobbly legged in front of a CVS. He crushes a now empty can of Pabst blue on his head and tosses it. He enters the building and stumbles his way to the lotions and ointments aisle. He walks to a large section of pump bottles and picks up one.
-=Senor Splash=- Hmmm, Jergens endorsed by Billy Ubermark…must be the good el crappo…Billy couldn’t bed a cat in heat-o…
-=Scene=- Splash makes his way to the counter. As soon as the pump bottle slams onto the counter, The Unseen’s version of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” begins to play. Splash pays for the bottle and we see a montage of Splash making his way back to the ’deli with a determined spring in his step. He walks in passed everyone mingling and heads to his janitorial closet. He looks into the filthy mirror with a determined eye and puts on a sweatband with the Mexican flag patch on the front. He then lifts the cover of the toilet and removes some “Eatin’ and Beatin’” abused and obese women mags. We cut to outside of the closet as the door slowly shuts…
Just Beat It, Beat It, Beat It….
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Post by Banned Member on Jan 2, 2006 3:44:27 GMT -5
*Sum Guy is standing outside next to a horse. When Outlaw Chris James walks over,and throws a saddle on him.*
SG: Excuse me? Outlaw?
*Outlaw stops just before he gets on the horse,and looks at Sum Guy in disgust.*
OL: What do ya want now?
Sg: I'm Sum Guy,and I used to play in a cats litter box as a kid!
OL: What in da hell! Boy you are some sick f***! I should just kick your ass right now!
SG: So enough about my love for cat litter. Outlaw it seems you don't have anyone that is willing to face you in the ring. Do you know why?
OL: Of course I do! They be darn right scared of me. They saw what happened to that Virgil fella,and we all saw what happened to Chance at the hands of my finisher.
SG: Yes,but you had to admit that interference from PTA was a cheap way to win!
OL: Hey I;m out to win matches you fool! I don't care if it is by cheating. Hell my great great great great great great great Uncle Jesse James used to cheat at cards all the time,and if he was caught well he just kill the guy.
SG: Well that is rather glum news. Now what about Tooms decision not to have you in the survival cage for the EWT....
OL: That was the biggest mistake he will ever make! What is Toom gonna do let the belt be worn by some Virgin guy who cant make his mind if he is a singles star or a tag team wrestler. A guy that is named after a fruit. A fruit gee I reckon what he is. A Ragnal just what the hell is a Ragnal anyways? A guy that thinks he is a combination of Bret Hart,and Shawn Michaels too bad he doesn't have the talent of those guys.
SG: So what are your plans for Toom E's House Party II?
OL: My plans better include a match of some kind. I don't care if it is against a woman or man or in some cases a midget. Cause once I hit the round up it's all over!
*Outlaw jumps on the horse,and rides off to the next arena.*
SG: This has been Sum Guy,and I once ate Horse crap on a dare!
*scene fads to black.*
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Limey
Unicron
It's been awhile.
Posts: 3,062
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Post by Limey on Jan 2, 2006 6:24:28 GMT -5
*A weird, eerie music starts to play. Luna Vachon, the Daughter of Darkness, makes her way out to the ring as the bell sounds.*
Chimel: The following contest is scheduled for one-fall, and it is for the EWT GND Championship!!! Introducing first, from Montreal, Quebec, Canada...The Daughter of Darkness, Luna Vachon!!!!
*Luna gets a lot of heat, but she doesn't look like she cares, choosing to scowl at the front row jeering her. She enters the ring, and looks around scornfully.*
*"She's Got Issues" hits, and the crowd gets to their feet. Carla O Woe makes her way out to a huge pop! She displays the GND title high above her head, and then places it on her shoulder, throwing up the horns!*
Chimel: Aaaaaaaand her opponent, from Rochester, New Hampshire, she is the CURRENT, REIGNING, and DEFENDING GND Division Champion....CARLA O WOE!!!!
*Carla gets a huge pop as she enters the ring. The bell rings, and the match is underway. Carla and Luna circle each other, and then rush in for a lock-up. Luna comes out on top, shoving Carla away. Carla rolls back, and Luna follows, running in for a kick...Carla dodges the kick, rolling under Luna, and follows up by doing a handspring to her feet! Luna, having now collected her bearings, charges at Carla to be hit with an armdrag! Carla applies a Fujiwara armbar as Luna tries to kick out.*
*The camera switches to backstage. Oceanic is watching the match in her locker room. She appears to be impressed with Carla's prowess.*
*Back to the match, and Luna has managed to break the hold. She scrambles up, as does Carla, and the two women exchange punches. Luna appears to be getting the upper hand, eventually stunning Carla with some furious rights. Luna then runs the ropes, and tries a clothesline, which Carla avoids by laying flat. Luna is unphased, however, and she runs the ropes once more, running to the prone Carla with what appears to be a running double ax-handle...Carla counters with a monkey flip, sending Luna flying! Carla now to her feet, approaches Luna, and Luna hits a trip to Carla! As Luna scrambles to her feet, Carla handsprings up, and the two go to a standoff!*
*We cut backstage again, this time to HBH's locker room. Rosa is also watching the match. Her expression is blank, and it is hard to imagine what she is thinking.*
*Back to the match, and Luna and Carla are in a test-of-strength. The two are fairly evenly-matched, but eventually, Carla starts to tire, and she eventually drops to her knees. Luna tries to capitalise, but Carla, out of nowhere, breaks the T.O.S and leaps up to Luna with a hurricanrana!!! Luna, stunned by this, gets to her feet in a daze, and runs into a dropsault from Carla!! Carla, now pumped up, runs the ropes, and leaps onto Luna with a flipping senton!! Carla stays on Luna and hooks the leg!
1, 2...
Luna kicks out! Carla looks disappointed, but then points to the turnbuckle for a huge pop!!! Carla picks up Luna by the head, and drags her over to the turnbuckle, hitting a scoop slam when she's near enough. Carla then climbs the turnbuckle...Luna falls on the top rope, causing Carla to fall onto the turnbuckle! Luna, to a chorus of boos, then drops Carla down into a tree of woe, and then stomps at her head, eventually choking Carla with her boot. The referee berates Luna, and eventually Luna stops. Carla falls down from the turnbuckle to the mat. Luna holds her arms out in a taunt, prompting a huge negative reaction from the crowd. She then approaches Carla...Carla hits a drop toe hold, and then swiftly locks Luna in the DEVIL LOCK!!!
DEVIL LOCK LOCKED IN!!!!! Luna tries to reach for the ropes, but Carla drags her back to the centre of the ring!!! With nowhere to go, LUNA TAPS!!!
Winner and STILL GND Division Champion: Carla O Woe!!!
*Post-match, Carla takes her title, and holds it high! We cut backstage again. Oceanic smiles at the monitor, content that Carla managed to retain. We cut to HBH's locker room, and Rosa still has her arms folded, not looking happy that Carla won, but not looking disappointed either. Back to live-action, and Carla leaves the arena to a huge pop.*
*We cut to a commercial for Toomi's House Party II. The camera pans over the ominous Survival Cage...*
Announcer: The Survival Cage...the most sick, sadistic creation that EWT management has ever unleashed to the wrestling business...At Toomi's House Party, six men will enter, but only one will leave CHAMPION...
*We see highlights of Mike Ragnal Hitting the Ragnalrock onto Limey, winning the Invitational, celebrating his tag-team gold, and delivering several Ragnalrocks to various jobbers.*
Announcer: MIKE RAGNAL!!!
Mike Ragnal: I swear, at the House Party, nothing will stop me from the ultimate prize!! I'm already one half of the EWT tag team champions, and when it's all said and done, my hand will be raised in victory, and THAT'S the SHOCKING TRUTH!!!!
*We see highlights of Billy Ubermark winning the EWT Tri-State Championship, hitting the Virgin Sacrifice onto numerous opponents such as Moxie and Maelstrom, and shaking hands with Ultimo Chocula.*
Announcer: BILLY "THE VIRGIN" UBERMARK!!!
Billy Ubermark: EWT will finally acknowledge ME as champion!! I have overcome prejudice and discrimination from the start here, and NOW IT WILL FINALLY PAY OFF!!!
*We cut to footage of Limey, smashing a display cabinet over the head of Flex Magnificent, cutting Flex's face, and hitting the Twist O' Lime to superstars such as JzBadBlood and Moxie.*
Announcer: LIMEY!!!
Limey: I've come so close to winning EWT's top championship that I have TASTED it!!! Moxie, you had better not have gotten too attached to the gold, because at the House Party, life will GIVE...YOU...LIMES!!!
*We cut to footage of HBH Bret Micheals hitting Sweet Chin Muzak to a huge number of EWT superstars such as Limey, the Nyrds and Gasoline, culminating in sending Gas off the stage.*
Announcer: The HeartBreak Hitman, Bret Micheals!!!
HBH: I am the SHOWSTOPPA, THE MAIN EVENT, THE ICON, and my time has finally come!! All the dead weight has been left behind! Now, there is nothing that can stop me from becoming champion, and if anyone has anything to say about it, they'll feel some SWEET CHIN MUZAK!!!
*We cut to images of Moxie, from his days as HitmanMark's protege to his big win at Season's Beatings. He displays the belt proudly as we flash back to the punishment he inflicted onto Limey, Billy Ubermark, the Ragnals and others.*
Announcer: The EWT World Heavyweight Champion, MOXIE!!!
Moxie: I am the true champion of EWT!!! I don't care how many opponents I have to face, how much blood I have to bleed, or how many times I'm hit with whatever weapon Toomi can dream up!!! This belt is mine, and I lay down for NO MAN!!! The House Party will mark the BEGINNING of the LIBERATION!!!
*We cut to images of the Fallen Dragon's glory days, as Moxie's mentor and friend, to his return, with many signs reading "WELCOME BACK, FALLEN DRAGON!!". It shows him shaking the hand of Moxie.*
Announcer: AND, making his long-awaited return...HITMANMARK!!!!
HitmanMark: It's been a while, but I'm back!! I am one of EWT's most decorated superstars of all time! And it is all for my DESTINY!! I will bring Purity in Competition back to EWT!! Nothing can stop me, nor the Revalations, and THAT...is GOSPEL!!!!
*Shots of all competitors in a large montage of beatings that speed up rapidly as the Announcer talks.*
Announcer: TOOMI'S HOUSE PARTY...II!!! Avaliable ONLY on EWT Pay-Per-View!! ORDER NOW!!!
*Back to action.*
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